Man, four updates this weekend. Wish I could do that all the time. But this is a rare occurrence that most likely won't happen again. Sorry. :P

Read On!

'Thing's haven't been going my way lately. Sometimes I wish I was in the younger dorms again. I ruled in the younger dorms. But I can't make myself younger again. What's taking Specs so long to make those drugs? I dunno, maybe it's harder than what I think it is. Everything usually is.

But back to the topic. Things aren't going my way. It looks that way, since I'm the second highest on the totem pole, but I can't do what I want. Not with Spinelli here. I don't care so much that Francis is here. If it was just him, it wouldn't give a fuck. But once this bitch gets out, she's going to tell the guy's about me and I don't want that. But at the same time I want to give her a fat lip. God please help me not to. Once I get one punch to her I'll want to punch her again, and again. Fuck not punching girls. This is juvie. I'll try not to though.

I just got my English report make. The one I did about my favorite author. I wrote about Edgar Allen Poe and got an A. I'm proud of that A. I'm hanging it on the wall next to my bed.'

"He hasn't written anything that you're looking for," Francis told Spinelli as he listened to her read TJ's journal out loud. "Can you stop reading now? He's going to find out any minute and come after us with intent to kill!"

"I'm just gonna read a little more," Spinelli told him, turning to an earlier entry. "He has to have written more about us than that…"

"You've been saying 'a little more' for the last hour," He said. "Stop!"

"I think I might've found something. I know I'm probably not going to get a response, but I sent my former friends a letter apologizing for what I did to them and everyone else at Third Street. After being alone with Alex I felt like I needed to. I don't expect to get an answer, but it's nice to hope," She read.

~*~MEANWHILE~*~

"Dammit! I know I had it when I got up to leave class!" TJ shouted. In search for his journal he had all but destroyed his side of the room. Any other book wouldn't have gotten this type of response from him, but it was his journal. All his personal thoughts of the last two—almost three—years were in that book! Every single bout of frustration, anger, sadness, each suicidal thought he had was written down on the paper from the same pen that the journal had. And it wasn't in his possession.

"Where is it!" he shouted. "I know I had it! I put it in my bag, I walked out of class, then I bumped into Spinelli and I picked up my books…." When it finally clicked where his journal could be his rage boiled over and headed out the door. "GOD-DAMMIT!" He shouted as he punched the wall, leaving a small yet noticeable dent in the stone wall.

"Man on a mission!" Bandit said as he marched past their table. Bandit and the others turned and watched as their friends marched across the open area to his target.

~*~V~*~

"Spinelli, for the love of God, put the book down!" Francis warned as he watched the person that he believed could end his life approach.

"Hold on," She said, eyes stuck to the page she was reading. "I'm getting close to something…"

"It's not worth it!" He shouted. "Will you look up!"

"Will you calm down," Spinelli said. "He doesn't know that we have his journa—"SLAM

Spinelli nearly jumped off the ground when the journal was slammed shut right in front of her face. Looking up, she saw none other than TJ staring down at her with all the anger and hatred in the world in his eyes.

"What. The. Hell, are you doing with this book?" He asked, deathly calm. Spinelli opened her mouth to respond, but her words were stuck in his mouth and her mind was busy comprehending the ominous shadow of fate that was looming over her because of TJ's presence. "I asked you a question. SPEAK!" While Spinelli was trying to gain back the confidence that she had lost only seconds ago, Francis was staying as still as he possible could so TJ's attention wouldn't be drawn to him. The guy looked like he was ready to kill without hesitation.

It was then that he was aware there wasn't a sound coming from anyone in the dorms. Everyone was silent and was watching the scene unfold with a mixture of interest and fear, both for themselves and who it was happening to. They haven't seen him act like this since the day he came there and knew that if something made him as pissed off as he was now, it had to be serious. So they watched, careful to not make a sound to disturb him.

"I am going to ask you again, and you are going to answer my question," he hissed. "What. The. Hell, are you doing with my journal?" Again, Spinelli tried to answer his question, but choked on her own words. When he didn't get any response from her, TJ grabbed her by the collar of her uniform and stood up, hanging her off the ground and held her eye to eye. "TALK!"

'Why aren't the words coming out of my mouth,' Spinelli thought as she was off her feet. 'C'mon, Spinelli…you're not afraid of this chump—' Her thoughts were cut off when her head slammed against the wall and it suddenly because harder for her to breathe. Feeling a hand around her throat she tried to claw it away with her own hands before she was too weak to do so.

"If you're not gonna open your mouth and talk, then you're not gonna be able to talk anymore," TJ said as he tighten his grip on her throat. "People like you piss me off. I asked you a fucking question! Don't you know when someone's talking to you?"

"Hey! Hey dude! Stop it!" Francis yelled as he got up and tried to pull the arm TJ was using to choke Spinelli off of her. "You're gonna kill her!" He didn't know what hit him when TJ took his hands off of Spinelli and landed a punch square on his jaw, sending him to the ground. Dazed and confused, Francis couldn't get off the ground until the world stopped spinning and he knew which way was up.

Turning back around, TJ looked at Spinelli who had fell to the ground and was coughing, trying to get her breath back. TJ grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to her feet, not having the patience to wait. He dragged her away from the corner and across the dorms to his room, her arm in one hand and his journal in the other. Too weak from being choked, Spinelli could only try to stay on her feet instead of being dragged across the floor.

~*~TJ's POV~*~

Didn't I tell this bitch that if she crossed me, I would fuck her up? I think I made that clear when she grew balls and decided to talk to me! But no, I guess it didn't make it through her thick skull! She has no idea how angry I am at her! I'm holding back, I swear to God I am! If I wasn't, she'd be dead right now! Her and that little pussy hustler! Fuck!

I'm not acting anymore! She needs to know what the hell is gonna happen when she crosses me! I don't even know what I'm gonna do! I could get away with murder if I damn well please!

When I reached my room I threw he onto my bed and closed the door. I'll be damned if there any witnesses. After locking the door I turned to face her and she still on the bed, bringing her knees up to her chest. She wasn't that afraid five minutes ago. If she was she wouldn't be in this situation, but that's too bad!

Walking closer to her I took down the top of my uniform. I had a t-shirt though, so I wasn't topless but I took that off right after. She was crying at this point, crying to back into the corner as much as she could.

….

…..

…..

…Goddammit. What am I doing? Unclutching my fists I turned away from her and rubbed my forehead with my thumb and forefinger. I hate when they do that. I hate when they cry. Then I feel guilty. She stole my journal! I have no business feeling guilty for her! She deserves what's coming to her!

"Tell me right now what you were doing reading my journal!" I yelled at her. "Hurry up!" She just looked at me and sobbed. I don't have time for this….. "Spinelli, you better start talking right now or I swear to Christ that I'm gonna start beating you into a bloody pulp!"

"I must've grabbed it when we bumped into each other and dropped our books," She said, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I was just curious to what you were planning to do to us."

"How much did you read?" I asked, looming over her and clutching my fists.

"Five pages," She mumbled. "I swear that's it!"

"Bull. Shit."

"I started from the back and picked random pages, but I didn't learn anything!" She insisted. "You're not gonna do anything to me are you?" Ha. I should. I really should. It already looks like I'm gonna rape her. I probably was until she started crying like a little bitch.

"Listen, you Italian twat. Everything I am is in this journal," I told her, holding the book up. "Everything that I have been through, every emotion that I have felt, and every thought I have had is in this book. I have the nerve to kill you for reading this. If you would've given it back to me without reading it, I wouldn't be five minutes away from raping you. Didn't I tell you not to cross me? Didn't I tell you that you would regret the day you crossed me? Do I look like someone you want to cross paths with? As mad as I am right now, I'm not going to do anything to you. I'm not. But I will, and you better watch your back. I was just gonna let you serve your time and leave, but you fucked that chance up." I turned away from her and started to walk to the door. I need to get away from her, but then she opened her mouth.

"What I read, it wasn't much," She said. "It was just scattered thoughts. It wasn't anything that would give me any clue or insight—"

"It doesn't matter," I said. "You have no clue how valuable this is to me. It's private. For no one's eyes but my own. And you read it. I don't care what you read; it's that you read it at all." I paused to unlock and open the door. "Get out of my sight." She got out of my bed and left the room, and I slammed the door behind her.

I have my journal back, but now I'm too riled up to sit down and write. I put it up on the shelf with the other two journals. I fill these things up so fast that I have one for every year. This one's almost filled up. Right in time too. My birthday is in a week. I'll be 16. Finally, it feels like this year lasted forever. But I need something to calm my nerves. Reaching under my bed I pulled out a shoebox. Inside there was still some of the product that I was selling in the younger dorms. I brought it in here for me to use…let's see….put the crystals in the pipe, then flick the lighter on and hold the bulb of the pipe until it until the crystals melt…..that's it…..almost done…then just breath in the fumes…

~*~END TJ's POV~*~

"You okay, Spinelli?" Francis asked, rubbing his jaw to make sure it wasn't broken or fractured from the hard punch that landed on his face. "He didn't hurt you or anything, did he?"

"Not besides choking me," Spinelli told him. "He didn't do anything. But he did say that now we should watch out backs. Guess he wasn't going to do anything to us after all…."

"Man…..that guy knows how to throw a punch," He mumbled. "I told you not to read his journal! I said he would get pissed! And he did!"

"I know, I know. I was just curious. Can you blame me? I was just trying to help us," She told him. "You weren't doing anything to try and get information. At least I was willing to take a chance."

"But still, Spinelli! I tried to kill you! At least he didn't actually do it. You sure you're okay? You seem kinda out of it….."

"I'm fine. Just a little shaken up from the whole thing….." She told him. "Just to let you know, if we die in here because of him, you can totally blame me for it."

"Oh, I am. You don't have to tell me it's okay because I'm already am. Did you notice how quiet it got in here when he yelled at you? You could hear a pin drop in here! The older inmates looked like they were gonna shit their pants and he wasn't even after them! I'm lucky he didn't break my face….."

"Okay! I get it!" Spinelli said, throwing her hands up in defense. "I fucked up. But seriously though, what the hell could be in that journal that he'll try to kill someone over it?"

"Don't! Stop right now! Stop thinking about that journal! Do you want to die?" Francis asked. "It's not worth it. And you didn't even find anything out!"

"I know it's not worth it, but I was curious. If the gang was here—"

"Then you all would've been dead two days ago."

"Can we please not talk about that now? Let's just get back to the homework, okay?"

~*~V~*~
Journal,

It's hard as shit to clean your room when your high as a mother fucker. I got it done and everything, but it's extra hardtop do high. It's stupid though 'cause I should've figured out that she had my journal when I couldn't find it. But I have it back now and that's all that matters.

I was thisclose to raping her, I swear to God. If she wasn't crying I'm sure I would've done it. I hate when they cry 'cause it makes me feel guilty for getting revenge for something they did. I don't regret almost doing it though and I know that if I did I still wouldn't regret it. She didn't have to read it. She could've just given it back and explained it was a mistake. I would've just glared are her and walked away.

Heh, I knocked the hustler out of Hustler Kid. He's seeing stars and stripes.

…I know she didn't read what she was probably looking for. I haven't been around her (or the rest of the gang for that matter) in years, but I know her well enough to know how she would've acted if she read any of the more private stuff. She'd be outside the door, waiting for me to come out. Or at least looking from where she usual was with a worried look on her face. She's not doing any of that. Just doing her homework.

I'm keeping my promise on making this the longest month of her life. I was only gonna scare her up to this point but plans change.

…but back to what I was going to talk about.

JoJo's in the hospital. I don't know what's wrong with him though. Specs said he was burning up and his pulse was racing, so we had a guard call 911. I have no idea when he'll be back, if at all. I hope it'll be soon. This room is really empty with only me in it. I thought we were doing everything right, but apparently not. It's weird. I keep expecting to hear the sound of a page turning but it never comes. I even look over to see if he's okay when I know he's not there. That's how used to him being there that I am.

I'm worrying too much. He'll be fine.

….

He has a picture on his wall of him and his little brother. I kinda feel guilty for having a little brother and not even wanting him when JoJo's bother isn't even alive…..hmm.

I wonder what they named him. I could've found out if I had the balls to break into my house, but that might've pissed me off more. I didn't get a good look at his face though, but he had to be at least one years old. Maybe a little younger. It's not an excuse though. My parents could've found a babysitter and visit. Whatever. I don't plan to bond with the ankle biter.

…..

…..I'm attracted to Tommy Gun. There. I said it. Out of all the people I could possibly be attracted to, it just has to be him. WHY? This isn't funny! This is serious! If he ever found out he'll keep coming after me 24/7. Just keep it a secret. A dirty little secret.

I can't wait until this weekend and I say that with the evilest smile. I know that the rest of the gang has to come and visit her, and that's when I can get a good look at them. I'm not going to talk to them though. I'm just gonna look while talking to Prickly. Yep.

Can't wait.

I'm in a stalemate folks. I don't exactly know what our Little Monster will do to Spinelli and Francis, but I'm working on it. Writers block sucks. Any you all would like to see? :

Donna Nnov: JoJo…..ah, he's out for a while. He'll be back, promise. Don't worry.

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