After packing, I sat on my bed with my arms crossed over my chest, one knee bouncing with nervous energy as I thought. The whole thing with Layla was still bothering me. I felt like it would be nothing less than stupid to leave without keeping an eye on her somehow. Not that LaCroix was needing protection from her or anything, but I finally nailed down the fact that I felt just plain threatened by the thought of her coming back here when I was out of town. I couldn't think of a single reason why she'd given the ring back to LaCroix. I definitely didn't believe that it was so he could use it to propose to me.

And whenever I had that thought, my mind went off on a totally separate tangent, wondering how he'd proposed to her. Was he a romantic deep down? Rose petals, candlelight...couldn't treat her to a romantic dinner, but two out of three wouldn't be bad... Or maybe a moonlight walk by a river or something. I couldn't see him being the type to get down on one knee; but if he was really in love as he claimed he was...

" Have your female sentimentalist fantasies if you must..." he'd said, and I was. But it was making me feel worse. My knee bounced faster; and my lips pressed together a bit harder, a small, indignant snort coming from my nostrils. Why the hell would he propose to her, but the thought of proposing to me was out of the question? I groaned aloud, placing my hands on both sides of my head and curling my fingers in my hair. This whole situation was making me crazy. I knew why he wouldn't propose to me. I didn't want him to, even for show. Hell, he already treated me like the little wife he had "affection" for, but the spark had long since died away due to having grown too comfortable with one another during a long marriage. At least, that's how my romance-starved, jealous shred of human Nat was thinking of the situation. I sighed and leaned my elbows on my knees, feeling somewhat limp. Maybe it'll be good for me to get away. My bottom lip became caught between my teeth again as I thought. I still needed some assurance that Layla wouldn't be a problem while I was away from Los Angeles. Or at least, that she was under surveillance. A thought occurred to me, a crazy, impetuous one, but a thought nonetheless. I glanced at my clock and saw that I still had some hours before sunrise. Time was short, but if I got lucky... A nervous flutter of doubt settled in my abdomen, but I chose to ignore it and left the suite to head to Santa Monica.

When I walked up to the door in the side of the building that held Trip's Pawnshop, I swore under my breath. Jimmy had unlocked it when we got there. I reached for the handle and tried it anyway, holding in a triumphant laugh when it turned, and the door opened. Some resident of the apartments apparently hadn't remembered to lock it behind them. Lucky for me. I went up the stairs and stood at the door I remembered being his apartment for a moment before knocking. The nervous flutter was still in my stomach, and I briefly wondered if I should go through with this.

I heard the deadbolt unlock from the inside, then the door opened just a crack. Closed again, the sound of a chain lock being undone, then the door swung open wide. Jimmy stood in front of me with a smirk on his face. I let my gaze travel over him and swallowed hard. The same blond hair and turquoise eyes I remembered, black t-shirt that was just slightly tight on his torso, long legs wearing jeans that fit just right... I swallowed hard and smiled. "Hi, Jimmy."

"Kristin," he greeted as he stepped aside and made a sweeping gesture with one hand to invite me in.

"Uh...yeah, about that," I said with a chuckle as I stepped inside. "It's...Nat, actually. Natalie. Nat's fine, but...um. Yeah."

He laughed quietly as he closed the door and locked it behind me. "You gave me a fake name?" he asked, obviously amused. "Just in case I went looking for you or something?"

"Yeah, pretty much..."

"Hm." He crossed his arms and looked me over quickly. "You know, when I woke up and couldn't feel you next to me or in my veins, I never thought I'd see you again."

I shrugged, giving him a smile. "Surprise," I said lightly.

He nodded, still holding that same smirk on his face. "So, what can I do for you tonight, beautiful? The blood bank's closed, if that's why you're here."

"Blood—oh, no, I wasn't coming here for a drink," I said with a shake of my head. His eyebrows went up as he pulled out a small, rickety-looking, wooden chair and sat down in front of me. He seemed surprised, but now even more interested to find out why I was visiting. Realizing I wasn't going to get an invitation to make myself comfortable, I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him. "I need someone to keep an eye on some things for me for a while. I don't really have anyone I can trust who won't let word of what I'm doing travel back to my boss."

"Mmhmm," Jimmy said, crossing his arms and lifting his chin slightly as he tilted his head curiously.

I hesitated for a moment, then continued. "The only way I can trust someone is to...recruit. A ghoul, I mean." I paused and met his eyes with my own. "You still interested?"

His smirk widened into a full grin. "I might be," he said smoothly.

"There are a few things you need to know," I said, biting my bottom lip nervously. "I can only really tell you them after you've taken my blood, but...I'll have you know that your being alive is already a huge favor from me to you." I looked at him seriously. "My boss wants you dead. My giving you blood is the only thing that will keep him from hunting you down to prevent a Masquerade violation."

Jimmy's grin began to fade. "Who is this 'boss' of yours?" he asked.

I stood, giving him a small smile as I walked over to him. "That's one of the things I can only tell you after you've had your drink." The look in his eyes was uncertain at first; but after I bit into my wrist and let him see the blood beginning to drip down my skin, he only looked consumed with desire. He gripped my wrist loosely and brought it to his lips, licking up the blood that had run down my arm first, then drinking directly from the wound. I couldn't help but smile at the sounds he made as he drank, similar to those he made during our night together. The sensation that I felt from his drinking from my wrist was pleasurable, making me feel calm and warm and slightly tingly. It didn't seem as strong as whatever LaCroix felt when I drank from him; I wondered if it was different when the person at one's wrist—or neck or whatever—was a vampire. I gently pulled my wrist away from Jimmy, licking the wound and watching him collect stray blood from his lips with his tongue.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, shakily. "Who the hell are you?" he asked with a chuckle.

I smirked at his question. "Tell me, are you familiar with the name Sebastian LaCroix?"

"Yeah, of course," Jimmy said with a shrug. "Cherise hated him. She wanted to do everything in her power to kick his ass out of town when he showed up."

Fuck...fuck fuck fuck, his regent was an anarch. "Really," I said dryly. "Well, consider your loyalties officially changed. He's not only my boss, but also my sire and my lover. So I hope your attitude can be appropriately adjusted when it comes to Prince LaCroix."

He looked at me gape-mouthed for a few moments. "Wait, so...you only fucked me for my blood?"

I rolled my eyes. "You have my deepest apologies, but yes. You had what I wanted, I indulged myself in a bit of pleasure before taking it. I'm sure you know by now that vampires tend to do that."

Nodding slowly, he licked his lips again. "I assume LaCroix doesn't know..."

"He knows. I told him."

"What? No fucking wonder he wants me dead!"

Sighing impatiently, I rolled my eyes again. "He wanted you dead because you were a human walking around with full knowledge that vampires exist and no regent to keep you under wraps," I explained quickly. "My sleeping with you makes no difference to him because he knows that sex is sometimes the only realistic way to get blood. Sacrifices must be made sometimes, even if it means being...unfaithful." I paused, then added, "He's rather understanding that way."

"So...since I'm a ghoul again, I should be good, right?" Jimmy asked nervously.

"Yes. But you are to have no contact with Prince LaCroix until I say otherwise. Understood?" Jimmy nodded, and I smiled slightly. "Good. Now, what I need you for is actually a matter of spying and reconnaissance. Do you think you can handle something like that without exposing yourself or me?" Before he could answer, I held up a finger and added, "Realize that if word of your mission reaches anyone, it will come back on me; and because of my involvement, it will come back on LaCroix. That would spell death for both you and me. So you must understand how important it is that you treat this with the utmost discretion."

"You really think your boyfriend would kill you?" Jimmy said, half-smirking.

"I have no doubt of it, especially as this wouldn't be too kindly looked upon by our clan or the Camarilla," I said. "After all, he is prince. He can't discriminate, even for me."

"All right, not a word, then. I can be sneaky. I have some tricks. What is it?"

I hesitated once more, hoping I wasn't signing my own proverbial death certificate or, worse, calling my own blood hunt. "I need you to find someone and track her movements. Layla Neubauer. Last I knew, she lived just outside town with Charles Ingram. He is of no concern to me. I want you to find her and keep an eye on her. I'll be in Sacramento on business for a couple months, but I want you to contact me if she gets anywhere near LaCroix."

Jimmy laughed softly. "Ah, I get it. You want to make sure this bitch isn't trying to steal your man."

I pursed my lips to hold my temper and keep myself from snapping at him. "Not...exactly. She's no threat to my relationship with the prince," I said, hoping I wasn't inadvertently lying. "However, she has been acting odd lately. For years, she's treated the both of us coldly, like her worst enemies. Yet tonight, she felt it necessary to drop in for a social call and was seemingly as sweet as sugar. I want to know what she's up to. I don't trust her within a mile of Venture Tower. If you find it easier for you to get a room downtown somewhere for the duration of this assignment, do so. I'll cover the costs."

My new ghoul laughed again. "Damn, I should have become a Ventrue's ghoul years ago."

I smirked. "We treat our people well when they deserve to be."

Jimmy seemed to get a little nervous again. "Now...this isn't just going to be a one-time thing, right? I mean, it isn't like you'll come back into town and tell me I did good and disappear again, right?"

I walked over to him and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "As long as you do your job well and exactly how I need you to do it, you won't need to worry about that." I patted him on the cheek and turned to leave. "Don't disappoint me."

"Wait! How do I find this Layla woman? And how do I contact you if I need to?"

I looked at him over my shoulder. "You've got until tomorrow night to figure out how to find Layla. I'll leave my phone number in your mailbox downstairs." With that, I left the apartment, smiling to myself. It actually felt good to have that kind of power over someone. To have a "minion" of sorts. No wonder LaCroix enjoyed life at the top...

When I arrived in Sacramento, I found that Prince Evans had prepared a small office for me. The plan was to have me essentially doing the same tasks I'd been doing for LaCroix, filtering visitors and keeping track of business files that were still being sent over from Evans's personal archives. He'd always run a low-profile, high-profit real estate business, something very easy to overlook. Perfect for a Camarilla prince. Now, since he'd moved into Camarilla provided accommodations, he was slowly moving his entire business into the new building.

There was so much filing and rearranging to be done in the midst of various Kindred dropping by that I hardly noticed the passage of the first two weeks. One night at the beginning of the third week, however, I found a moment to myself that allowed me to think and look at a calendar. I'd heard from Jimmy only once during my time in Sacramento so far, and he'd only called to flirt. I'd given him a harsh tongue lashing and not heard from him since. The fortunate thing about that call, however, was that it allowed me to store his number into my cell phone. Feeling slightly irritated that he'd not seen fit to even update me, I pulled out my phone and called him. "Hello?" His voice on the other end of the line sounded a little surprised to find me calling.

"James," I purred into the phone, settling back in my desk chair. "I've missed the sound of your voice."

He chuckled. "Oh, really..." he said, and I could hear his guard drop immediately.

"I have," I responded, a fingernail idly scratching at the arm of my chair. "Especially since I'd been hoping to hear from you more frequently than this. I'm beginning to think I chose my ghoul poorly."

"No! I mean, I...there hasn't been much to report!" Jimmy said, his voice now laced with nervousness.

"'Much'?" I repeated, my fingers now drumming my annoyance on the chair. "If there has been anything to report, I had hoped I would have known about it by now."

There was a short pause from Jimmy. "It's really nothing," he said. "I found her. She's been staying out of LA, for the most part. Seems attached to the older guy she lives with. Hardly ever goes anywhere without him."

"Her sire," I clarified with an impatient sigh.

"She's stayed away from LaCroix," Jimmy said. "Hasn't set foot anywhere near Venture Tower. That's why I didn't call you. I figured that as long as she stayed away from him, you didn't care."

I scoffed. "So you assumed to know what I wanted from you," I said coldly. "Jimmy, let me make this perfectly clear: I want to know what she's doing and with whom and where. Daily updates would be preferable, even if only a short voicemail stating that there's nothing to report. Just because you don't find her actions suspicious or meaningful doesn't mean that they aren't. Let me make that distinction. Do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," Jimmy said quietly.

"Good. Then I'll hear from you tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Excellent. Good night, Jimmy." I hung up the phone with disgust. Presumptuous ghoul. No wonder LaCroix didn't keep many. In my head, I ran over the conversation I'd just had. Really, I'd gotten no information from him. I hoped that he was right, that there was nothing about Layla's movements that would have betrayed something of note. I sighed, feeling that nervous flutter again. "Stupid," I berated myself out loud, getting to my feet. My office had a small balcony with glass sliding doors, and I chose this time to go outside to think. At the railing of the balcony, I stood and looked over the city. I was beginning to realize that I'd acted rashly yet again in making Jimmy my ghoul. Layla was acting strange, yes, but there was nothing that she could do in two months that she couldn't have done over years. I still hadn't gotten used to the fact that life wasn't so short anymore, that time seemed to travel differently for Kindred. Patience was more of a virtue than ever as Kindred. I was used to rushing and going head-first into things, a habit that I desperately needed to break before I made a deadly mistake. Making Jimmy watch her was only inviting trouble, but he had a taste of my blood now. I groaned and shook my head as I thought about the situation I was now stuck in. This was precisely the reason I hadn't wanted to give him my blood the night we'd met. Also, LaCroix wouldn't be happy to find out that I had a ghoul after he'd expressed his relief that I'd not given Jimmy my blood that first night.

LaCroix. The name in my mind hit me like a fist to the chest. I missed him. I'd been in denial over it for the first week, but I'd finally eased into the idea. It took some conscious admitting that I wasn't only interested in his blood as well as the smug realization that he was absolutely wrong about his assessment of my feelings for him. I was very much in love; but it was making me miserable, especially since his own realization that he'd once been in love himself and that he definitely wasn't in love with me. At least, that's how I was taking the whole last conversation we'd had. I'd managed to keep myself busy enough in Sacramento to not agonize over thoughts of him too often, but I'd also been dreading my first quiet moment. This moment.

I realized then that my phone was still in my hand, and I entertained the thought of calling LaCroix to hear his voice. No, I thought. This is an addiction, an obsession. Depriving myself will help me get over it. I'll get through the heartbreaking withdrawal and spend next month working smoothly without even the slightest thought of him. Then I'll head back to Los Angeles and... I pictured going into his office for the first time in two months. In my mind, he looked up at me but didn't smile. He got up from his desk but still didn't smile. His footsteps were quick and sure as he made his way across the office in my mind and pulled me into his arms, catching my lips in a brutal kiss, telling me wordlessly that he'd been as desperate for me as I'd been for him.

I shook my head hard, trying to clear those thoughts out physically as I grit my teeth and gripped my phone a little tighter. Realistic. I have to be more realistic than that. He won't suddenly "come to his senses" and find himself in love just because I'm gone for a mere two months. Okay, back in his office in my mind. He looked up at me. Opened his mouth to speak. "Oh. You've returned. I suppose you'll want your old office back..."

Ouch. Realism wasn't what I wanted to concentrate on at the moment. I looked at my phone, wondering what he was doing, if it was a bad time to call. The thought made me chuckle as soon as it touched my mind. Of course it's a bad time, I reminded myself. He's not one to enjoy a casual chat, no matter with whom. As I looked at the phone, it suddenly vibrated; and its ring tone sang out loudly. The phone's coming to life in my hand startled me, and I dropped it right off the balcony. I cringed, leaning on the railing and looking down at the sidewalk below while hoping the phone hadn't come in contact with anyone below. I comforted myself with the reminder that it was hardly after four in the morning; there wouldn't be many people walking about at that time. Frowning, I went back inside. I hadn't seen the caller ID to find out who was calling before dropping the phone.

I sat at my desk and leaned my elbow on the desk top, cupping my hand under my chin. Making a decision, I picked up the landline phone on my desk and punched in a number. Settling back in my chair while I listened to the line ring, my fingers tapped the arm of my chair nervously. "LaCroix," came the voice on the other end.

"Good evening, Prince LaCroix," I said, trying to keep him from knowing that my words were part of a deep, calming breath I was slowly exhaling.

There was a small pause on the other end. "Miss Lucas," he greeted simply. Good thing: his voice didn't sound cold when he said my name. Bad thing: he didn't sound particularly happy either.

I cleared my throat before speaking again. "I know you're busy, so I'll be brief." This time, I was the one to pause. I chuckled as I continued. "You probably already know this, but your childe is a bit of a clumsy idiot."

That made him chuckle, bringing a grin to my face. "I hope you've not made too much of a mess," he replied. He was in a good mood, I could tell.

Thank god, I thought. My timing hadn't been as horrible as it could have been. "I don't think so," I said. "But I was out on the balcony a moment ago with my phone in my hand; and it happened to ring, which startled me and prompted me to let go of the damned thing before I could see who was calling. Needless to say, I'll be needing to buy a new phone tomorrow night." LaCroix chuckled again, and I could picture him shaking his head as he did so. "Anyway, the purpose of my calling was to find out if you had been trying to reach me when I dropped my phone thirty floors."

"No," LaCroix responded. "Were you expecting me to call?"

I'd hoped, I wanted to say. "Not necessarily," I said instead. "Just wanted to check on the off chance it was you. The last thing I'd want is to have you thinking I was ignoring your call."

"Hm. Well, worry no longer."

I nodded, though he couldn't see me. I swallowed down the urge to begin rambling just to keep him on the line. I'd found out what I needed to in order to satisfy the purpose of my call. Time to hang up. But god, it was good to hear his voice, especially since he was in good humor. I took another deep breath and put on a smile, hoping it'd transmit over the line. "Well, I hope you're well, Prince," I said cheerily. "I'll let you get back about your business."

LaCroix cleared his throat, and I heard a slight creak that I recognized after a moment as coming from his chair. It was a sound I never acknowledged while in the same room with him. When I couldn't connect the sound to his shifting in the chair or possibly getting up, it stood out. "How are things in Sacramento?" he asked.

I hesitated. Wait...is he trying to keep me on the line? I wondered, fighting back a wave of giddy hope. "Finally calming down a little," I answered. "It's been busy. I can see why Prince Evans needed an extra hand around here. Things should be settling into a nice, steady routine soon."

"I'm glad your time there isn't going to waste, then," LaCroix said. "What are the chances of your coming back sooner than two months?"

I laughed, unable to help myself. "Well, well, someone sounds as if he misses me!" I said, grinning.

He let out a small, disgruntled sound. "You make your place here over five years and yet are still surprised that I find myself lacking the help I could use when you leave," he grumbled.

I frowned. "I'm sorry, Prince," I said sincerely. "I thought that since you'd managed perfectly well before my coming along, you'd hardly miss me if I were gone for a short period. That's the only reason I agreed to help Prince Evans." I paused, then began to smile as I said, "If I'd thought for a moment that you'd be positively lost without me, I'd have stayed."

LaCroix chuckled. "You make me sound perfectly incapable," he pointed out.

"Perish the thought, Prince," I said with a grin.

Before I could say anymore, LaCroix spoke again. "The fact of the matter is, while you have proven useful to me, I'm more concerned about the sudden heated rumors spreading through the streets."

I groaned. "Why must Kindred be such gossips?" I said, covering my eyes with a hand. "What is it now? I assume it's about us..."

"Not us, Miss Lucas," LaCroix said. "You. Namely, that you've begun suffering a fit of jealous possessiveness and are currently employing a hitman to stalk an old acquaintance of mine."

Shit...

He went on. "Supposedly, you're afraid that I am going to be stolen away by this old acquaintance, and you're willing to go to the length of killing her to keep that from happening. Now...why would a rumor like that be going around, Natalie?"

Shiiiiiiiiit. "I haven't the slightest clue," I said, fighting to keep my voice from cracking. Clearing my throat now would be a dead giveaway.

In spite of my attempts to sound casual, as could be predicted, LaCroix saw through it. "Even over the phone, you know better than to lie to me, Natalie," he said in a deadly, low tone. "What is the source of these rumors? What have you been up to?"

"Nothing!" I insisted.

"I will give you one last chance to tell me the truth before I fly up to Sacramento myself to-"

"All right!" I interrupted, my hands shaking. It was one thing to have him yelling in his office. To have his voice right in my ear when he started shouting was another resolve-shattering thing altogether. "It wasn't jealousy or anything of the sort," I told him. "Rather, I was suspicious as to Layla's motives regarding your mother's ring. She certainly wouldn't just drop by to give it back out of the goodness of her heart, nor would she so forcefully encourage our being betrothed. I hired someone to follow her, yes; but it was never my intent to kill her! I just wanted to know what she's up to!"

LaCroix sighed, and I heard the chair creak again. I pictured him leaning back in his chair, phone held to his ear with one hand, the other hand massaging his forehead wearily. "Obviously...your spy is rather amateur."

Groaning inwardly, I said, "Apparently so."

"Do you realize how this makes you look?" His words were still clipped with anger.

"I can't control how people are going to misconstrue something, especially when it was never in my plan to have anyone know about it in the first place! Believe me, when I get back to Los Angeles, he's going to wish he'd never done whatever it was he did to allow such rumors to be started."

LaCroix groaned. "You make me wish I could still be keeping you under lock and key, that your Agoge had never ended; so I at least could keep you under constant supervision."

I bristled at that. "I made a mistake," I admitted slowly, speaking through clenched teeth. "I know that. I will fix it."

"How?"

Trying to think fast, I said, "The ghoul will be punished and-"

"Ghoul? Whose ghoul?"

I cringed. Fuck. Goddammit, I shouldn't have called. Dammit, dammit, dammit... "Mine."

The silence from the other end of the line was long enough to make me wonder if LaCroix was making good on his threat to come to Sacramento right that moment. Finally, he spoke. "Yours."

"Yes, sir."

"You...made someone your ghoul...and assigned to him the duty of following Layla wherever she went..."

I am so fucking dead. "Yes, sir."

LaCroix's sigh was almost worse than any screaming he could have done. "And we're back where we started," he said quietly. "Back to the days when you impulsively act or speak, and I'm the one left to clean up your mess. The only difference now is that I get to answer to the entire clan for your actions. I get to try to answer their questions about how you could be so stupid and careless. I get to explain myself as to what potential I saw in you and, in god's name, when you're going to finally begin to use it. Not to mention when you'll finally be using what semblance of a brain you might have in your head. I get to try to laugh off the joke you've made of yourself and, in turn, me." He paused in his tirade, and I was tempted to try to say something, but no words came to mind. I'd totally failed him. I was an embarrassment of a childe for him. He went on with a bitter laugh. "I can't wait to see the look on your face the first time you get to answer for yourself because of this. You've had this level of devastation coming, my dear childe, for so very long. I get to put up with the jokes and jabs at making my choice for my first childe poorly, but you...you get to deal with the loss of your dignitas at such a drastic level already! I'd worried initially that you might set yourself up for something like this, but I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it. Especially because it was you. You'd never take my warnings, my wisdom. You'd pretend to listen, then throw it—and yourself—away. I knew it all along. This will take some time for you to recover." Again, I opened my mouth to speak and was startled by my lungs reflexively gasping in a sharp, shaking breath instead. And my face was wet. And LaCroix was saying in a new tone now, "What...what is...are you crying?" I tried to answer that his accusation was preposterous; but I instead blubbered wordless sobs into the mouthpiece of the phone, using my free hand to wipe the bloody tears from my cheeks. LaCroix sighed, then chuckled. "Only you, Natalie..."

"O—only me w-what?" I stammered.

"You're the only Kindred of whom I can think who would still have enough humanity left in her to be brought to tears by mere words," he said. The sharp, accusing tone was totally gone. He sounded almost fond of me again. Affectionate. "Funny. I'd begun to wonder how your humanity had left you so fast. I had figured you'd just adapted quickly. I suppose you've proven me wrong tonight."

I tried to breathe in to speak and instead gulped down a few more sobs that wouldn't let words out. "I'm sorry," I finally managed to say. "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore."

"You've no reason to apologize to me," LaCroix said.

"Yes, I do!" I argued. "I'm an embarrassment to you! I'm a total fuck-up, nothing like what you'd built me up to be to the clan."

He chuckled. "I hate to use this analogy, Natalie, but what parent doesn't get embarrassed by their child now and then? It takes time for a child to come into their own. So it is with Kindred. You're thrown into this new side of existence with what you've learned as a human and expected to become a totally different being. Yes, you've made a mistake that will take time to move past. And yes, because of our unique...situation, more so than my merely being your sire, you can't help but drag me through the mud a bit as well. But I've made my name that will help me through a bit. And you've got many years in front of you to wash away this blunder."

I stayed silent for a few minutes. As silent as I could while my throat and lungs were still convulsing with tears. I wondered how a creature who needed no breath to live could still so reflexively draw it in during a fit of emotion that shouldn't even be there anymore. "You were so mad a second ago," I said quietly. "Now you're trying to make me feel better?"

"I didn't think you'd react so...emotionally," he replied. "It's not something Kindred normally do."

"I'm sorry," I whispered again. I felt like such a failure, being separated from the rest of my kind because I couldn't let go of my emotions. It wasn't as if I could control it.

"Natalie," LaCroix said, and I could hear the warmth in his voice. "You were Embraced because you're different. If I wanted a childe like all the other Kindred, I would have chosen someone long before you came along."

In spite of myself, I laughed. "You make it sound as if you chose me because I'm an impulsive bumbler."

"No, I chose you because you were so alive, I felt that not even death could quench that. I wanted to see how that translated into Kindred lifestyle."

"So I'm an experiment."

He laughed. "Listen to me. You're not an experiment or anything of the sort. Perhaps a bit of satisfaction for a bit of curiosity; but more than that, you bring into this damned darkness a little touch of the sunlight you've soaked up during all the years you were alive. Your sunlight doesn't burn, Natalie. You still have a touch of that life within you, and Embracing you only gave to you the opportunity to stand out like no human ever could. Once you find your feet a little in this world, you'll learn how to balance yourself with being a Ventrue and stay true to the meaning of both."

I was smiling when he stopped speaking. Grinning, really. "So...should I start spreading sunflowers to all the Elysiums or something? Being a Kindred sunshine?"

He laughed again. "Perhaps I'm sounding melodramatic, but..." He paused, and I pictured him shrugging. "You're different. There's no better way to explain it. And yes, things are rather boring without you around."

I giggled. "I think you like me more than you let on," I accused.

"I think we've both known this for a while."

I bit my bottom lip to keep from giggling again. I hated sounding so teenager-ish when talking to LaCroix, but those little glimpses of affection from him brought it out of me. "I miss you," I told him, finally just getting it out.

He chuckled. "Is that really why you called?"

"No, I really did drop my phone," I said with a laugh. "But it opened the perfect opportunity to hear your voice."

"Clever." He still sounded like he was smiling. "Now, you will need to call off your ghoul."

"Yes, sir."

"Tonight."

"As soon as we're off the line."

"Good. I'll try to smooth things over as much as possible here. When you return, you can finish the job."

I bit my lip nervously. "What do you think I'll have to do?"

"To be honest, I haven't the slightest idea. It all depends on whether it gets brought up or not."

"Do you think my visiting Layla or at least making a show of civility would help?"

There was a pause. After a moment, LaCroix said, "It may, but let me think on that for a while. She seemed...more willing to be civil when you two last encountered each other. A burying of the proverbial hatchet may go far in patching this blunder." He sighed, then said, "Well, anyway. We'll talk more about this when you return."

"Yes, sir. Good evening, my Prince."

"Good evening, Miss Lucas."

I hung up the phone and slouched down in my chair. I'd forgotten how exhausting emotions were. I let myself recover for a few moments before calling Jimmy back. "It's me," I said when he answered, knowing he wouldn't recognize the number I was calling from. "Stand down. I don't know what happened, but you've blown your cover already. I just got my ass chewed by LaCroix for it."

"Oh fuck," he said, a quiver in his voice. "I'm dead, aren't I?"

"Not necessarily," I reassured him. "LaCroix seems more concerned about the social consequences my putting you on Layla's tail has incurred. I'll be in touch when I get back to the LA area. Until then, go on about your life as usual."

"This is a total one-eighty, boss," Jimmy said, and I could tell he was being cautious with his words.

I sighed. "I know. I had no idea that you'd been found out until tonight, though. After we'd spoken. Just...lay low. We'll talk again when I get back."

A/N: Wow, two weeks with no update. Guess that's what happens after getting a new job and working overtime two weekends in a row. :) Thanks to all of you who take the time to read this still. :)