Trying to keep up. Not exactly working, but trying. You can thank my day job right now.

Warnings: It's shonen ai. Yaoi, slash, whatever you wish to call it.

Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Chapter, 34: The Unexpected

Harry glanced back at the entrance to the Great Hall. Going back in would result in one, possibly two things. Either way, Aderes would see it as a surrender. Worse, Harry would probably start a fight with him. How could he get Aderes to understand that he wasn't trying to use him? That he was, without a doubt, in love with him? That he'd worried himself into almost a complete panic when he'd thought Aderes had gotten into trouble attacking Snape? But, love didn't make him smart and it obviously didn't make Aderes trust him.

He frowned thinking about that. How many people had declared their feelings to Aderes since the school year had started? What made Harry any different from them? Only that Aderes had claimed he was different, had shown interest back. He snorted at that. A lot of good that did. Even if the Slytherin showed interested, where exactly had that gotten them? Into a supposed relationship, but not a trusting one. How many times had Aderes whispered that Harry was different? That Harry understood him better than anyone? Yet, Aderes didn't understand Harry much at all. Was he even trying to understand Harry? It sure didn't seem like it. Maybe before, he'd conned Ron into telling Aderes about Harry, but maybe in the end, he hadn't liked what he'd found out.

No, as it stood, Harry was just person who'd stupidly fallen for Aderes. It didn't matter that he knew Aderes's real mannerisms. And, it didn't seem to matter that they both enjoyed snogging. People made out all the time with others they didn't necessarily care for.

I'm no different than anyone else. He allowed that thought to sink in. Despite being the only one to save Aderes at the World Cup. Despite being one of the only people who hadn't gone out of his way to get Aderes's attention until after they were dating. Despite the fact he hadn't even wanted to risk dating Aderes, none of these things made him different. Not in Aderes's mind where it mattered. Aderes didn't seem to care that he'd been the one pushing for a relationship between the two of them. He had shown Harry that shadow form, or spell, whatever it was, but how many people actually knew about it? Harry had thought he was the only one, but that probably wasn't the case. Aderes had no doubt used it time and time again to get away with things he usually couldn't.

I'm so stupid!

Aderes must care for him on some level; he'd saved Harry from the dragon, from Snape. He'd burned Rita Skeeter. He'd been helping Harry with the tasks. He doubted even Aderes would go that far just to screw with someone. Aderes got bored too easily for that didn't he? So, somewhere in Aderes's twisted mind, he cared for Harry; he just didn't trust him completely.

Or….

The thought flashed through his mind before he stop it.

Is he using me?

In what way could he possibly use Harry? A lot of people had tried, a few had succeeded. Most of the people who wanted to use Harry wanted some form of fame, like Lockhart. Despite all of the fame the wizard already had, he'd wanted a boost by claiming to be friends with Harry. Then there were people like Draco, who'd wanted to manipulate him into thinking certain ways. Aderes didn't need fame however. He was famous in the school, and being Dumbledore's adopted son gave him a good amount of fame outside of Hogwarts as well.

Dumbledore…?

Aderes hadn't even tried to hid his anger towards Harry where Dumbledore was concerned. Was Aderes…no. His eyes widened. Aderes was after two things. Revenge for Dumbledore favoring him over Aderes and for Harry to get Dumbledore to drop his guard.

Both ideas were stupid, crazy, and yet made perfect sense where Aderes was concerned. Why hadn't he noticed it sooner? Aderes had taken his friends, had offered him false safety, had made him believe someone could actually get past his reputation and be more than just a friend, just so he could destroy Harry. Just so, he could get Dumbledore to stop watching his every move. Draco and Dumbledore had tried to warn him too!

"Jeez!" He turned towards the stairs, his fists and jaw clenched. The other students had warned him as well, but he'd been so stupid, so blind, so hopeful that he'd been stupid enough to believe he was special. That Aderes had chosen him out of everyone else. What a joke.

He'd warned himself when they'd first started dating too, hadn't he? That there was no way he could possibly be good enough for Aderes. That Aderes had no reason to pick him over anyone else? That Aderes must have an ulterior motive. He just hadn't wanted to believe it.

"Potter." Harry stopped. "You need to break up with Aderes," Snape said closing the distance between them quickly. Snape was gone into the dungeons before the sentence even registered in Harry's mind.

For a second, Harry lost his mind. He thought that maybe he could get some answers from Snape.

He gave his head a firm shake. No, what he needed right now was a distraction. Something to help him forgot about how fast and easy his life had been dismantled. Turns out all Voldemort had needed to do to end him was become his friend first and slowly destroy him that way.

He went up the stairs and headed for the Gryffindor tower. He needed a plan. His friends would never believe that Aderes had done everything so far just to destroy his life. He wasn't entirely sure if he believed it either. A small part of him hoped that he was just being paranoid and that Aderes did care about him, but he couldn't risk the alternative either. No. Things would be better if he was prepared. He could gain a better hold of the situation; maybe even get back to level ground just by second-guessing everything Aderes did. It would be tiring yes, but he'd known from the start that Aderes couldn't be completely trusted.

The stairs gave way to a long hall. He was the perfect disguise to convince Dumbledore that his son was behaving. Aderes always seemed surprised and delighted when he stood up for him to Dumbledore.

The more he thought about it, the more likely it seemed. He had no proof, but given how Aderes was… But, why take it so far? Harry had defended Aderes long before they were dating, but if he was after revenge too…

He closed his eyes before moving on. If only he'd never started dating Aderes. Because even with all of these thoughts running through his mind and possibly being true, he sickening found himself still caring about the other teen. He still wanted Aderes to hold him, he still wanted to snog him. He must be mad. That was the only possible solution.

Loud laughter broke his thoughts. Suddenly it was warm. The common room was bright and filled with students from fourth to seventh year. The younger ones gone now for the winter holiday. Harry wished he'd gotten to leave for the Christmas holiday. If it hadn't been for his name getting thrown into the goblet, he could have gone back to the Burrow or if by some miracle, to wherever Sirius was hiding.

A large group of students as usual surrounded Fred and George. Harry couldn't see what they were doing, but everyone around them seemed excited.

None of them are doing their homework. In fact, one look around the room revealed that none of the Gryffindors had their packets with them. Students were either in the crowd around the twins or lounging on the couch near the fire. A small group of girls were talking excited in chairs. Harry caught the words "dress" and "ball" and immediately started for the twins instead. The Yule Ball was not something he wanted to think about.

He approached the group trying to see what was so exciting, grinning when it came into view. In front of Fred and George stood a replica of the Quidditch pitch made out of snow, charmed with mini snow people sitting in the bleachers. The small figures were waving their arms back and forth and that's when something tiny caught Harry's eyes. Above the miniature bleacher were more snow people, all of them flying, some of them red in color, the others green. No, not just flying Harry realized, they were playing Quidditch.

"Want in Harry," Fred asked.

Harry looked up.

"Huh?"

"We've got a bet going on which team will win," George said.

A groan erupted from a few students, others cheering as a red snow person smashed into a green one. The green one exploded at the impact, its pieces falling to the ground.

"No thanks." He didn't think he should be gambling right now, especially not with Fred and George in charge.

Fred winked at Harry and he knew he'd made the right choice.

The pieces that'd belonged to the green snowperson began rolling across the floor and piecing itself back together. When it was fully reformed, it picked up its broomstick and shot back off into the air.

"That's not fair," a fourth year yelled.

"It's Quidditch," a sixth year said. "Only the points matter."

Harry decided this was as good a distraction as any, no better. The snow people zoomed and dived just like a real Quidditch match. They beat each other with beater bats and knocked heads or limbs off with Bludgers. Harry wished the tournament hadn't put a halt on the game. It was the only thing he felt truly good at. More students joined in as they came back to the common room. The score kept climbing.

Where's the Snitch? He tried to find any sign of a miniscule gold speck among the flying warzone and couldn't. Are they cheating? It wasn't surprising, but he didn't like it. It just wasn't a Quidditch match unless the Golden Snitch was there. Maybe I can't see it, because it's too small? The illusion of the game faded for him. Frowning he moved away from the match and went up to the boy's dorm.

Why do we always fight? He wanted everything to be okay, for the fight to have not happened, for them to be happy. He wanted to be in Adere's arms. Just stop it. What good was pining over Aderes right now? He looked around the room trying to find anything that would get his mind off the Slytherin.

His eyes fell on the homework packet on his bed. It was because of this stupid stack of paper that they'd started fighting again in the first place. Sure, they probably would have fought over something else if not the homework packet, but he could still blame it. He didn't want to it, but… it was a distraction…

Now what? Harry stared down at his thirty-page booklet of holiday homework. Most of it hadn't been that bad. A few pages of writing out definitions, a couple of adding the correct word to the sentence. A lot of them were answering questions in full paragraphs. It'd taken most of his morning to whittle away at all of it and now he was left with two full blown essays to complete. Not bad considering it was the first day of the holiday. He couldn't be completely sure if everything was correct, after all, asking his friends for help was wrong, but going down into the common room to ask someone else was something he couldn't bring himself to do.

Perhaps if Hermione just told him if the answers were correct or not? No. He sat up in his bed. There was no point in dragging Hermione into this. Funny. How many times had Hermione told him she was always there for him? He snorted at the thought and started going through his trunk. He removed a large envelope he'd received from Flourish and Blotts a few weeks back. They'd sent him a small catalogue featuring some of their best items that were on sale for the holiday. A must buy for everyone! He chucked the catalogue back into his trunk. He set the envelope down on the bed and stuffed his holiday homework into it then stopped. Sending his homework to Sirius to look over it would solve his problem, but should he really abuse his Godfather that way? Maybe he should send a letter asking him if he would first? Sirius would no doubt accept no matter how inconvenient it was for him.

"Whatever." He threw the study guide and envelope into his trunk. Since when did he care if he had good grades anyway? He couldn't just magically become smart, because Aderes wanted him to be. And, why did the Slytherin keep adding stipulations to their relationship anyway? What if Harry decided he wouldn't date Aderes if the teen spoke the snake language? Would he stop? Not likely.

A groan escaped Harry's lips. Don't even bother with this. Which was probably the best advice he could give himself. No matter how much he beat himself up over something, as soon as he solved it; Aderes would simply throw another problem at him. No, this whole thing was ridiculous. He needed something else to focus on, but the only thing that came to mind was finding Ron a date, which he refused to do now. His best friend had once again not stood beside him so he could try to get help with his own homework. Ron could ask one of them to help him with a date now. What was the point of having friends anyway if all they were going to do was ditch you the second it became convenient?

Not that he could hold them completely responsible. Aderes was a master manipulator and this was his doing. But, did they really need to be so blind that they didn't even question his demands?

Maybe he should write and tell Sirius what was going on? Sirius did want constant updates, but this didn't seem important enough to go running to his Godfather. That and… He looked out the window. The snow had turned into thick blobs of sleet that the wind flung towards the ground. Sending Hedwig out into that mess would be crueler than sending Sirius his homework.

Usually Harry spent his Christmas holiday with Ron and Hermione. He'd thought it would be an even better holiday now that he had a boyfriend, if they were still dating, to enjoy it with.

We were fighting a few days ago, but… That had been before Aderes had come to his rescue in potions class. He felt his face beginning to warm up. Aderes had saved him, had stood up against Snape for him. He hadn't thought twice about getting in trouble, he'd just done it. He didn't want Aderes attacking people, but knowing that he was protecting Harry…. Or, was it just another ploy to get Harry to keep blindly trusting him? To keep him defending Aderes despite whatever chaos he caused?

There was never any doubt in Harry's mind that Aderes would keep him safe. He'd felt protected in his boyfriend's embrace long before he'd shown what he was willing to do for him. Was Aderes's protection really worth the cost of his sanity and other people's safety? Just because someone didn't like Harry, or they annoyed him? What if it was just a way to keep Harry from realizing the truth? Could he live with himself knowing that Aderes would harm these people for any of those reasons?

Relationships aren't supposed to be like this. Complicated yes, but this? How many couples had to worry about things like this? Any of it?

Growling he stood up, flipped open his trunk, and grabbed his outside wear. He needed someone to talk with about this fiasco. Once he was dressed, he left the dorm. A group of third years that had been sitting by the stairs backed away from him when he appeared. Good, I must look serious.

He was in the entrance hall shortly after. He'd expected to run into a few students along the way, but didn't. It was probably for the best.

The cold bit him the second he stepped outside. A yelp sounded from behind him.

"What do you think you're doing!?"

Suddenly he was pulling jerked back into the castle. The door slammed shut in front of him.

"Let go!" The hand on his shoulder dropped and he turned glaring at the two behind him.

"Are you mad," Ron asked. "You'll freeze out there!"

"Is this some kind of suicide attempt to get back at Aderes? I thought you said you weren't one of those kind of people Potter," Draco said.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself," Harry snarled. "I was going to visit Hagrid."

"In that?" Ron motioned to the door his eyebrow raised. "You'd never make it!"

"What else am I supposed to do?"

"Your packet like you were instructed," Aderes said walking towards them. Draco and Ron flinched, Harry narrowing his eyes. "You two were taking too long." He looked down at Draco's hand and nodded. "At least you have the book."

Draco turned and gave a small nod.

"I'll go back to the library." He stepped around Aderes fast retreating down the hall.

Ron gave a quick look from Aderes to Harry.

"Go," Harry said, Ron looking even more torn. Harry knew he couldn't trust Ron to remain on his side however. If he stayed put, he'd just be another ally for Aderes or worse. Aderes would threaten to harm Ron if Harry didn't obey. With a sigh, Ron trotted after Draco vanishing down the hall.

"I knew you had issues, but this?" He moved closer to Harry, the Gryffindor taking a step back until his back touched the door. He mentally cursed. Aderes had a tendency to pin him to walls and he'd done so well to avoid them just to get caught when he was in a foul mood.

"I'm not the only one with issues," Harry said. He wasn't going to tiptoe, not right now. He couldn't sense whether or not Aderes was going to attack or not. At the moment, he looked amused, but Harry knew all too well how easily that could change.

Aderes smiled.

"I suppose not." His hand wrapped around Harry's forehead and he gently moved him away from the door. "But I'm not about to walk through the worst blizzard in six years so I believe yours trump mine."

Harry followed, a new plan forming in his mind. He didn't have time to think it over. Instead of trying to pull away, he leaned in closer to Aderes, the Slytherin's mask breaking into a look of surprise.

"Are you okay," Aderes asked.

"Who knows?" If Aderes was going to use him, he could do the same in return, couldn't he? His mind was a mess, his life a disaster. Why couldn't he take the comfort Aderes was offering? All he had to do was act like he was still defending him to Dumbledore. He could let he headmaster know it was all a lie. The very thought made his stomach knot up. He didn't want to lie to Aderes, not like that.

Could I be more pathetic?

"Well given the way you're acting, I'd say no." Aderes moved so Harry was no longer leaning against him.

The small amount of warmth and comfort Harry had been feeling faded.

He's like a drug, Harry thought.

"I can't be who you want me to be," Harry said.

"You can't be yourself," Aderes asked.

"You don't want me; you want the vision of me that's in your head. No one can live up to that sort of fantasy. I'm no different than anyone else at this school. I just have a trail of bad luck following me and a meaningless nickname." He looked at Aderes, the Slytherin's mask was firmly back in place. Harry wanted him, needed him to say something to ease his doubts, but it seemed they both knew the truth. "I'm sorry I'm not what you expected." He moved towards Aderes, he wasn't sure why. Maybe he wanted to touch him one last time, but the Slytherin took a step back, his eyes narrowing. Without a word, he turned his back on Harry and left.

Harry watched him go. He wanted to shout after him, to run after him, but doing so would be pointless. They'd just end up fighting, one of them possibly physically hurt.

So much for playing him. This was for the best, for both of them. People who actually cared for each other didn't fight the way they did or nearly as much. The stress had to be getting to Aderes as much as it was getting to Harry, but now they could work on healing.

And now I need a date for the ball, Harry thought bitterly. The ball was in a few days, whom was he supposed to dance with? McGonagall had made it quite clear he needed a date and to not embarrass the school. Would Ginny be willing to do the opening dance with him? Would Neville be all right with letting Harry borrow his date?

Harry started back towards the tower. He'd expected to feel horrible like he had during the other fights and breakups, but this time he was just numb. Maybe after having gone through it so many times it didn't bother him as much. Or, maybe it was knowing it was final, there would be no reconnecting and a chance to endure the pain again.

How do people handle this so much? He knew other students who broke up with their partners almost weekly just to find a new one that would lead to another break up. Most of them didn't seem to be phased by this. In fact, even the ones who didn't do the breaking up didn't seem distraught. Why did it feel like a hole had opened up inside of Harry and was carrying away every bit of emotion he owned into it?

But he couldn't do it. The attacks in his name. The chance that Aderes was using him, that he might be trying to ruin Harry as some sort of revenge. The random outbursts, the fights, the manipulation of his friends. It was too much and if any of Harry's theories proved true about Aderes being out to get him, well. Aderes might be heartless enough to carry on, but Harry wasn't.

The portrait of the fat woman swung open. There was a new game of snow people Quidditch going, this one had slightly bigger forms and they were dyed yellow and blue. They were now playing over one of the larger tables. Some of the same students were still watching, new ones replacing the ones who'd grown bored and left.

It wasn't hard for Harry to spot Ginny. She was sitting in a chair near the window, a book in her hand, her eyes glued onto the Quidditch match.

Harry walked over to her hoping he wasn't about to set off a bomb of some sort.

"Ginny?"

The redhead looked up, her book falling out of her lap. She cursed, a blush crossing her face as she leaned down and picked the book up.

"Yeah?" She did her best to look calm and collected.

"I need a really big favor," he said.

"What kind of favor?" She looked suspicious.

Does no one trust me, he wondered.

"Aderes and I just broke up." Ginny's eyes widened and a few of the girls close by them gasped. Harry did his best to ignore them.

"For good," she asked.

"For good," Harry said knowing the question was fair. "So I was wondering if you and Neville would be okay if I borrowed you for the opening dance?"

"I'd have to ask him…" She scanned the room. "Give me a minute." She set her book down on the chair and left Harry to guard it.

"Why would you break up with Aderes," a fourth year Gryffindor girl asked.

"I bet Aderes broke it off with him," a sixth year girl said.

Harry wished they'd go away. None of these people needed to know anything about his private life. It would be easier if he just answered their questions though and he knew it.

"Everyone in the school knows we were fighting too much. It wasn't going to last," Harry said. A number of girls were gathering around him and nodding. "Well, we decided after breakfast that it was just too much stress. We just couldn't make things work. So I suggested we break it off and he agreed."

"Smart move, he is a Slytherin," one of the many girls said. "Can't be trusted."

"That's mature," another girl said. "Most people don't know when to quit. You two tried," she said giving Harry a quick pat on the back.

Word of the breakup spread fast. Harry could only shake his head. The whole school would know about it before lunch. That was probably for the best too. The howlers would stop now and the death threats. Harry would be able to walk through the school without as many sneers. If Dumbledore was right, the attacks wouldn't happen again when he went to sleep.

But… That also meant no more joking with Aderes, no more bickering with him. There would be no random acts to get a rise out of him, no more cuddling in the night while everyone else slept. He surely wouldn't help Harry anymore with the tasks. Would he force Ron and Hermione to choose between Harry and himself? Maybe. Harry wasn't about to fight for them. If they felt conflicted or wanted to stay with Aderes, because they needed help with homework, let them. He really didn't care anymore.

Ginny came back, a smile on her face.

"Alright, so Neville said that'd be fine, as long as you give me back after the first dance."

"Thanks Ginny," Harry said managing a smile. "I need to go thank Neville too. You guys are life savers."

Ginny's cheeks turned a brighter shade of red. Harry found Neville in another chair on the other side of the common room.

"You're sure you don't mind?"

"Well…I do, but…Ginny really wants to dance with you so…."

"I swear it's just for the first dance. She's yours right after."

"Yeah, but won't the reports think you two are dating," Neville asked.

"Are you two dating?" Harry had heard the two were going to the dance together, but not that they were dating. If that was the case, there was no way Harry could dance with Ginny.

"Well no…" Neville said. "It's just…" He shifted in his chair.

"If you don't want me to, I won't. Ginny offered the other day and since Aderes and I broke up, I need someone to go with me to the opening dance. After that you won't see me," Harry promised. He was surprised to notice he meant it. He had already decided once the opening dance ended he would sneak out and go back to the dorm. He didn't want to stay and watch everyone else have a good time and he especially didn't want to see who Aderes would end up taking to the dance. No, he would spend his evening in his dorm room doing something.

"I…I guess it's okay. She really wants to," Neville sighed. "Maybe you should just—"

"Neville, I don't like Ginny like that," Harry said, Neville's head shooting up. "I promise."

"R, right. You like guys." His face went red.

Did he like guys? Harry hadn't given that any thought.

"I don't know," Harry said making a face. "I think Cho's cute. Aderes is…" Aderes was someone he desired beyond his understanding. He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. One dance, I'm gone."

"O, okay."

"Thanks. I owe you."

He left the common room again heading back up to the boy's dorm. All he had to do now was survive one dance. Could he convince Dumbledore to let him go the Burrow after that? Was Dumbledore going to even tolerate him now that he'd broken up with Aderes? Knowing Aderes, he would tell the school he broke up with Harry. Maybe the headmaster would take pity on him. For once, he'd be okay with that.

The room felt colder than it had earlier. He kicked his shoes off and climbed onto his bed. He'd need to let Sirius know. His blood frozen. Would Aderes rat Sirius out now that they weren't dating? He wouldn't be that cruel would he? Not that even Harry knew where Sirius was. He grabbed all the items he'd need for writing a letter and started.

Dear Sirius;

Aderes and I broke up. We just couldn't stop fighting. He would get mad over the stupidest things. I just wanted to let you know and warn you to be careful. I don't know if he'd ever try anything, but I wanted to warn you.

He stared at the quick letter. That summed everything up nicely. The only problem was… He looked at the window. The snow and sleet were still coming down.

He set the letter down on his bedside table and removed another piece of parchment.

Dear Mrs. Weasley;

I was wondering if it would be at all possible for me to visit the Burrow after the Yule Ball is over? It's hard to get anything done or even think with everyone at the school and I really do miss you and Mr. Weasley. It's okay if I can't.

He dropped his quill and crumpled up the piece of paper. He couldn't just beg Mrs. Weasley to let him stay over the holiday. She'd always invited him. Asking to come over, because he couldn't stand being at school anymore would be rude and wrong. Sighing he shoved the crumpled paper into his trunk along with the other items. He wouldn't be able to send Sirius his letter until the weather broke.

(TBC)

Sorry, you'll just have to deal with this for a little bit. Enjoy.