I will say nothing here but that I once again got distracted by a book. Three actually, and it wasn't even my fault. I blame it all on the girl I work with; she knows it's her fault too. XD Please read, and enjoy! What fun this chapter was.
Disclaimer: I could never own something so cool.
Chapter 34: Hide and Seek Shelter
There was something different about the palace as the crisp spring days transitioned slowly into warmth. The air was fragrant, the sun was gentle and soothing, and the sound of droning insects played like a lazy fanfare, but most of all, the ever present tension was gone. The master was finally calm.
One long, suffering sigh left Sano's mouth as he lounged on the veranda. It was a perfect day to be relaxing; a perfect time to forget everything and just be indolent, except Sano was irritated. Stretched on the porch, his chin slumped on his crossed forelegs, he watched from across a large portion of yard with wry interest as his master and his lady spoke. They were walking, wandering really, wherever they wished, or more likely, wherever she wished. There was a pleasant smile on her face, a softer expression on his, and though it seemed like nothing had changed about their relationship, everyone could tell there was a difference.
It was in the small ways they interacted. Not with their words, but with the emotion they showed in their eyes, and not with their actions, but in the way those actions were performed. For instance, Sano had witnessed before the way the lady liked to hold the master's hand and lead him around, so it was no big deal to see the contact being shared. As they strolled together now, however, the difference was shown by how the occurrence was instigated and not in the result. Without breaking stride or even a conscious show of acknowledgment, the master's hand turned just ever so slightly at his side. Still smiling, still chatting and looking at him with her animated eyes, the signal was somehow recognized without truly being seen. Within only seconds of the unspoken demand, the lady's slim hand slipped inside of his, and somewhere deep in Sano's gut he felt envious. Overlapping that sensation was also a wash of bitterness.
Dammit. They're acting more and more like a couple every day. At this rate I'm going to lose that bet. Grumbling, Sano averted his eyes. Damn weasel set me up.
It wasn't like he was unhappy about his master finding a woman to be with. In a way he was actually proud, like an older brother would be proud. After all, Shinta had been one of his best friends; it was only natural that he felt some kind of responsibility towards that man's younger brother. Even if Sano himself had never been given the chance to be around Kenshin when he was a child, he had heard enough from Shinta to know what it was about the youngest lordling that had impressed him. Knowing that much about him and witnessing first hand everything his master had endured after Shinta's death, Sano was in truth relieved to see a measure of peace enter in his life.
Which was why he had not betted against them getting together after it became clear that it was something they both wanted. His master deserved to be happy, but that wasn't the point. He was going to lose the bet because that meddling weasel girl couldn't leave well enough alone and decided to stick her nose in the situation. Sano was sure he would have won if things had just progressed smoothly… naturally. What was wrong with letting them figure it out on their own? Scowling, Sano wrinkled his nose. Misao swore she did nothing more than what was asked of her, but he wasn't buying her innocent act. Everything was progressing much faster than he had thought possible for their master, and more than likely it would continue that way.
Summer's still a few weeks away, and even if I haven't lost yet, I will before long. Growling low in his throat, he closed his eyes. You stupid idiot! You know you rarely win a bet, what the hell were you thinking taking her up on this one? Especially without knowing what will happen when you lose.
"I think falling in love really agrees with the master."
Grunting in a noncommittal fashion, Sano swished his tail but did not open his eyes to greet the intrusion. Soft shuffling, a sigh, and then the creak of a floorboard spoke of the intruder's intent to pester him further.
"After a thousand years of monotony, these new emotions must be almost comforting."
Katsu's observation lifted one of Sano's eyelids, a touch of anxiety he couldn't find the source to churning in his stomach. "You think… he's only happy because he's never been in love before?"
Dark eyes widened as Katsu tore his gaze from the couple and shot a look at his best friend. "That's a pretty negative opinion, Sanosuke. Do you not think our master's feelings of joy and love run no deeper than a simple relief that he can feel something new?"
Both eyes coming open, Sano frowned. "You're the one who said it. I was just trying to make sense of your romantic mumbo-jumbo."
"What I said is he must be comforted by the knowledge that he can still discover new emotions. I did not say it was the only reason why he was happy."
Grunting again, Sano returned his attention to the two still ambling around the veranda, a not so comfortable silence invading his mind with doubts and fear. "It is easy for the young master to discover new emotions when he was never allowed to emotionally mature past his adolescence. He is still very much a child waiting to experience and grow." Letting out a measured breath, Sano was struck by a wave of pity. "The little missy will make him feel everything he never has, and when this is all said and done… he'll be just like the rest of us poor bastards."
Katsu regarded him in surprise, his expression one part shock and one part dismay. "… This has been bothering you for awhile."
Snorting, Sano sat up, his eyes flat and lifeless. "Think about it, Katsu. We've been here for over a thousand years now, without dying, aging, or sickening. Whatever was done to us, it's not likely to go away. Not after all this time. The missy's what? Seventeen? It won't be noticeable for awhile, but sooner or later, she's going to start showing her age, she's going to get old… and she's going to die. The master… he's going to have to watch; a slow, torturous death from the inside out, and after she's gone… what will there be left for him? There will be nothing else for him to discover. His life will have already been fulfilled, and there will be no reason for him to continue to live."
Through the sobering affect of Sano's explanation, Katsu's mind brought forth argument after argument, wishing to deny what his friend believed to be truth. Certainly it was true that watching the one you love die before your eyes was not a welcome thought, but rejecting love simply because you know one day it will disappear was not an answer Katsu could live with. As he rounded on his companion to explain and defy, however, he was distracted by the pain that briefly curled the features of his mutt appearance, and the words died on the lemur's lips. Blinking, he felt suddenly bewildered.
"You are being uncharacteristically insightful, Sano. What is this really about?"
Sano shifted, his being tense as if wishing to reject the probing question. After a few moments, his head dropped with a sigh. "What the hell are we still doing here, Katsu? What the hell am I still doing here? What purpose do we serve being here?"
Staring at the back of his friend's neck, Katsu thought his answer through carefully, his voice measured when he answered. "I am my master's court painter. That is my purpose to my lord."
"A purpose that served no one until only recently." Insensitive and harsh, Sano barked the reply, but Katsu only sighed.
"If my master did not need me until only recently, then that is fine. I fulfill my purpose as a painter when it is required of me. That does not mean it is the only purpose I have in my life. I am also a husband now. That purpose makes requirements of me daily."
"And you are content to live your life like this? Forever?" Sounding more and more irritable, Sano angled one mahogany eye in his direction. Holding his glare as he studied him, Katsu shook his head and looked away to watch the master and the lady disappear around a corner.
"What about your life are you not content with, Sanosuke?" The mutt's tense form went slack, and Katsu could feel his narrowed eyes widen, his gaze lightening from anger to wariness. "Is this about Megumi-sensei… or is it Shinta-sama?"
Sano's jaw worked soundlessly as he tried, wanted, to argue. The truth in the question was overwhelming, though, and he felt defeated instead as he swallowed thickly. "I didn't know what to do… after he died… We were friends, but… he was the son of our master, I always took for granted that he would be the one telling us what our purpose was."
There was a wild look in Sano's brown eyes that gentled Katsu's tone. "He was the one who gave us our purpose, remember?"
"And mine was taken from me!"
Looking calmly away as he snapped, Katsu shrugged nonchalantly. "I never thought you were the type to care about purposes, Sanosuke. You have always been content to just let things go without contemplating too hard on the whys."
"I've never needed to." Frustrated, he stood up to start pacing. "I've never wanted to, but lately… no, not just lately, slowly, ever since we were turned into these… creatures… there has been this nagging sense of wrong in my mind. I haven't been able to figure out what it is… until now." Stopping his distracting movements, Sano looked back across the yard as echoing laughter chimed from the other side of a pavilion. "There is nothing else for me to do."
A deep frown pulled at Katsu's face, appalled by what he was hearing. "What are you saying, Sanosuke?"
"It came to me as I was watching the lord and his lady. What she is giving him is something new, and from it he will discover that there are plenty of things he does not know. He has not finished living. In fact, he's barely even begun to know what it means to live. He has purpose, he has growth, he has everything in the world to look forward to."
"But you don't think you do." Katsu was more than horrified now as the revelation punched him in the gut.
"You were right, Katsu. Just having the knowledge that there is something new to discover would be comforting. I don't have that. I have lived over a thousand years in this life, and I've felt everything there is to feel. I fulfilled my purpose a long time ago, and I don't have anything else to do."
"But you've barely done anything." Arguing now in desperation, Katsu stood as well.
Shrugging, Sano's demeanor abruptly became calm, accepting, and it frightened Katsu even more. "But that's what I wanted to do. Maybe that's what I was supposed to do."
"What about Megumi-sensei?"
Laughing derisively Sano sneered. "What about that fox? We've pushed and pulled at each other for hundreds of years. We've done it all, from anger to peace. Hell, we've practically eviscerated each other and then acted like nothing happened. There's no love there, Katsu. Not for her. It's just an amusing pastime."
"I disagree."
A crooked smile pulled at the mutt's mouth, showing canine teeth. "You don't know her like I do."
"I don't need to know her to recognize the way she looks at you!"
For one moment the look in Sano's mahogany eyes was intense, burning, enraged, shocking the lemur into taking a step back. A quick blink later and he was back to his carefree, relaxed, whatever-you-say self. Stretching slowly, he yawned and completely ignored Katsu's last declaration. "Well, old buddy, I think it's past my naptime." Hopping off the side of the walkway, Sano meandered across the yard, leaving Katsu behind and confused.
"Where are you going?"
"To find a good patch of sunshine. I have a feeling I'm going to need my rest for whatever that weasel has in mind when she collects on that bet we made." A small leap and he was back up on the veranda, a suitable amount of distance between him and his best friend. A quick peek showed a frown of worry still present on the lemur's face, but he was walking away and not after. Sano knew Katsu didn't understand what he was talking about, and he was afraid he didn't explain himself very well, but there truly was nothing left for him. It was a terrifying realization.
Rounding a corner, he paused as he caught sight of Kenshin and Kaoru again. Stopped on a sporadic stone pathway in the middle of one of the gardens, one of the master's clawed hands was offering a single plucked flower. The expression on his face was just slightly anxious, but it disappeared quickly as he watched the lady flush a pretty shade of pink. The gift was accepted, her smile shy, and she leaned into the lord's touch as he carefully brushed aside a strand of her hair. Her lips moved, presumably to communicate her appreciation, and as she looked down to sniff her flower the softened expression on the lord's face blossomed and became a mixture of confusion, apprehension, anxiety, eagerness, joy, affection, astonishment, and longing.
It was such a range of emotions, such a shock to understand how little their master had experienced. Inside, it made Sano feel very, very old.
X
The long shadow of one lazy, fluffy cloud finally slipped by with the warm breeze, abruptly flooding the yard in brilliant sunshine. Blinking against the sudden light, Kaoru held up her hand to shield her eyes, her lips partially drawn up into a habitual smile. It was a beautiful day. It was a beautiful week! Life was pleasant, the world was peaceful and alive, and Kenshin knew that she loved him.
It felt like she had gained a lifelong friend. It felt like they at once knew each other, and then not at all, like they were children playing together for the first time. Everything was new, exciting, and yet Kaoru knew there was nothing to worry about. She felt nothing but trust and security when she was with him, even as her heart rate sped and her anxiety went through the roof. It was conflicting, and yet expected and welcome. Truly it was like meeting him as a child and tugging on his hand to come play.
An echo of delighted laughter rang in her ears as she encouraged the daydream, and her smile widened into a grin. Answering laughter followed, and she tracked in her mind's eye a girl of perhaps four or five as she ran across the yard, her dark hair in pigtails and her blue eyes laughing. Behind her, a young boy of the same age gave chase, his dark red hair unruly, and his violet eyes alive and carefree.
I wonder if I will ever see those eyes. I wonder if they were real.
"Kaoru-dono?" A light touch brushed her shoulder, and she opened her eyes to find Kenshin standing next to her. "Is everything alright? Do you not feel well?" The concern in his voice made her smile and she shook her head quickly.
"I'm fine, Kenshin. Just thinking."
"Oh? About what?"
Wanting to tease him, Kaoru's smile grew. "I was trying to picture what you would have looked like as a child." Kenshin's golden eyes widened and she could tell this was not the answer he had expected. Slipping her hand in his, she tweaked his nose playfully. "I bet you were a mischievous imp that gave the servants all kinds of grief."
A small smile pulled at the corners of his lips. "Has Nori-chan been telling stories on me?"
Kaoru blinked. Nori-chan? The familiarity in his tone formed a slight crease between her brows. Kenshin never addressed anyone so intimately, not even the younger residents of the palace. A tiny flare of irritation sparked to life in her mind, enclosing in bitterness every thought she had of the distancing title he used when addressing her. Who was this woman he was so close to?
Biting her lip to try and hide her displeasure, Kaoru looked him in the eye, ignoring the confusion on his face. "Who's Nori-chan?" The demanding challenge in her voice lifted his brow line.
"She was my caretaker when I was a child."
Kaoru instantly relaxed, her smile coming back full-force. "Oh, you mean your nanny?"
A bemused expression replaced the confusion on his face. "Something like that. She was the servant in charge of my well-being when Mother was busy." His smile threatened to disappear, and then came back in a flush of amusement. "I'm afraid I was rather hard on her."
"You?" Lifting an eyebrow, Kaoru gave him a disbelieving look, her lips twitching, and he chuckled. Grinning, she tightened her hand around his. "I'd really like to meet her. I bet she has all kinds of stories on you."
"Oh no. I do not think I will introduce you two. I might find myself in trouble then."
They laughed together, and Kaoru followed as he gently tugged on her arm to encourage her to fall in step beside him. It was early afternoon, and they had decided on an impromptu walk through the city. Since Kenshin had found himself with a lull in his duties, he had suggested the time spent together. It was an occasion that was happening more and more often, and Kaoru couldn't tell if it was because things were finally settling down enough in the chain of command to allow him more free time, or if he was so eager to find time to spend with her he was rushing… or ditching altogether. So far no word of any problems had reached her ears so she was hoping for the first choice, though she would have been flattered by the last.
Still giggling, she looked up at him to study his features, glad to find him relaxed and enjoying himself. Much of the tension she had grown used to was absent from his expression, the frown lines around his eyes and mouth no longer quite as pronounced. He seemed more at ease, surer of himself, and she at once felt happy and regretful. It was satisfying to think that her small confession could take so much weight off of his heart and mind. The metamorphosis he had undergone went a long way to show how much he cared for her as well. At the same time, however, it was disheartening to think that she, even in the smallest degree, was responsible for his indecision and insecurity. If her words could pick him up this quickly, how far could they let him fall?
As they walked, a dark spot of shadow caught her attention, and she tilted her head back to look around his shoulder. Almost to the barrier that separated the palace from the city, her eyes landed on the small shrine that was Tomoe's home. Strangely the door was open, and Kaoru's first thought was that no one was allowed inside, per the master. Shaking her head, she reminded herself that the place was not empty. Tomoe was trapped within that small shrine. No doubt she liked to gaze upon the scenery whenever she could, and a beautiful day such as the one they were enjoying deserved to be ogled. Feeling sad that Tomoe could not come out to appreciate the entire effect, Kaoru's bottom lip unconsciously pouted.
"And what are you thinking about now, Kaoru-dono?" There was amusement instead of concern in his voice this time, and she returned her attention to him quickly. Unwilling to let him know that she was worried about the sorceress, Kaoru smiled brightly once more.
"I was thinking about how much I enjoyed our flight yesterday. It was fun getting to go further down the ridgeline."
Thoroughly amused now, he shook his head, his eyes warm. "If you had so much fun then why were you pouting?"
"Well 'cause I wanted to go again today." Knowing the answer, she gave him her most pitiable look, hoping to distract him completely away from her fleeting moment of melancholy.
Sighing like she knew he would, he tightened his grip on her hand. "My wings are still sore today, Kaoru-dono. I would not trust them to maintain our weight for very long, and I will do nothing that will place you in harms way."
"I know. That's why I was pouting." Sticking a finger in his ribs, she giggled when he jerked involuntarily. "I am sorry your wings are sore, though."
"Do not be sorry, my lady, I had fun as well. My wings are simply not used to much exercise. The pain will fade as the muscles relax."
"You probably use a lot of your back muscles when flying too, right?" Looking thoughtful in that way he recognized, with her head tilted off to one side, he could see her mind working through something.
"Ye-es." Answering slowly, warily, he wondered what she was up to now.
"Why don't you spend a little extra time in the bath tonight? The hot water will help relax your muscles." A small frown creased her brow. "I would offer you a massage but your scales would probably make that difficult." Every one of his muscles tensed, the sore ones protesting, and his eyes widened as he stared at her in shock, but she didn't notice. "I wonder if Megumi-sensei would have any massage stones. I think they would work pretty well. They can be chilled and heated to soak out the soreness. What do you think?"
"Uh…" The habitual regulation of propriety ingrained in his being told him that it would not be a good idea. He needed to tell her no, the bath would be good enough, and she need not bother herself with his comfort. The newly awakened part of his mind that liked Kaoru's attention and selfishly fed off of every moment they spent together argued that it would be nice to be pampered. Especially by one who loved him. It wasn't wrong of him to accept her considerate gesture. After all, their relationship was clearly on a more lenient level since they were sharing food and chopsticks. "I'll… think about it."
Golden eyes glanced down at the same time she glanced up, and her lips bowed into that shy smile that spoke of her pleasure and her timidity. "Okay. Let me know when you've made up your mind."
Walking through the city after midday was at once hot and exhausting, as well as interesting and fun. Most of the residents were going about their regular routines and were far to busy to take notice of the couple walking in their midst. At the same time, though, there were many that waved or shouted greetings to their master and his lady. It was a rare sight to see their master among them, after all, and his presence was heartening.
A soft chuckle pulled Kaoru's attention away from the activity around her and back to Kenshin. There was a slight smile on his face and his eyes were looking straight ahead, but his attention seemed to be distracted. Curious, Kaoru studied his expression, wondering if she had done something to amuse him. He wasn't paying her any attention though, and after a few more seconds the smile on his lips widened and he chuckled lightly again. Was he thinking of something funny?
Unconsciously her fingers squeezed around his, wanting his attention to return to her, and obediently he complied. The grin was still present when their eyes met, and as he tried desperately to hold onto his laughter, she found herself drawn into his hilarity. Lips twitching in confused reaction, she lifted a brow, a little worried about what was happening to her usually composed nobleman. Shaking his head in answer, his eyes dropped pointedly to glance behind him. Following his encouragement, she twisted her head to look.
Trailing along behind them was a cute black and white kitten, its hopping steps trying desperately to keep up with their longer strides. Scurrying quickly to catch up, Kaoru found out the reason for Kenshin's mirth when the small ball of fur leaped into the air and landed square on the furry end of his tail. Tail yanking forward as its claws connected, the force of its momentum dirt rolled it to the side. Losing hold of its prey, it growled as Kenshin teasingly twitched his tail into the kitten's face. Batting at it with both front paws in an attempt to catch the tricky tail again, the kitten mewled plaintively as it got away. Scrambling back to its feet, it gave chase once more.
Giggling, Kaoru bit her lip to stifle the sound, her eyes bright as she watched this happen several more times. Jerking and twitching his tail around, Kenshin was quite plainly playing with the child, and then teasingly mocking it by brushing the fur tip across the kitten's face. Goaded into increasing the ferocity of its attack, the kitten crouched down, wiggled its hind-end, and threw itself after with a pounce. Having just crossed an intersection of road, their path now rose at a steeper gradient than before. Missing its target and sliding on the loose dirt, the kitten rolled not forward but backward this time. Crying out in alarm, it hurtled back towards the crossroad.
Gasping, Kaoru released Kenshin's hand, afraid of the small child receiving an injury from the uncontrolled revolutions. Just like any time before, though, Kenshin's reflexes were better than hers and he was already turned after the frightened kitten. Sweeping it up before it spun out into the adjoining road and underneath the wheels of an ox-driven wagon of ore, Kenshin stood gracefully, the kitten tucked between his chest and his forearm. Expecting hysterics, Kaoru rushed after them and stopped at his side, her eyes wide as she checked over the small feline for any wounds. Kenshin's gentle hands were already way ahead of her.
"Are you alright, little one? Were you hurt?" The master's voice was calm, soothing, without a trace of anger or even anxiety. It quickly quelled Kaoru's own apprehension, and she realized belatedly that it was meant to do so.
Large brown eyes stared up at the both of them, perhaps too shocked to answer the question immediately. Then a purely mischievous grin showed off the kitten's teeth, its luminous eyes closing. "Again! Again, my lord! Again!"
Chuckling, Kenshin shook his head. "I'm afraid not, little one. You were nearly killed." Instantly disappointed, the kitten, which Kaoru now recognized was a little girl, started to cry. "No tears. That was a very dangerous situation. I am meant to protect you, not place you in harms way." Carrying her back across the crossroad, Kenshin put the kitten down in the grass. Smiling gently, he patted her head. "Run along home now. We shall play another day."
Brightened by the idea, the kitten agreed and took off through the grass, her fluffy tail sticking straight up in the air as she hopped and pounced her way back down the path they had come. It was a charming, not to mention cute, sight, but even as Kaoru smiled after the child, a distressing notion was fighting to make itself known to her. Smile fading slowly as she tried to decide what it was that was bothering her, she glanced back to Kenshin as he stood from his crouched position. There was a warm smile on his face, and it briefly washed away her strange sorrow. He was such a different person when he was dealing with his subjects, so mature and confident, and yet still gentle, still protective. It was touching to know he cared so much for his people, and pleasing to know he could be playful with the children. After a thousand years of life, Kaoru couldn't imagine what kind of temperament should be normal. Kaoru just felt that she would be old and tired.
Brow creasing, she cast another look over her shoulder as they continued on, her thoughts screeching to a halt. "Everyone here has lived at least a thousand years."
"My lady?" Though Kaoru had whispered the observation, and there was confusion in his voice, Kaoru knew he had heard her clearly. It was in the careful way he spoke. Pulling her gaze from the dirt path, Kaoru met Kenshin's golden eyes.
"There haven't been any new children, right, Kenshin?" A crease formed between his eyes, his head shaking in negation. "I didn't think so. I mean, the curse has basically left everyone in a moment of suspended animation; therefore no new life could ever be created. Everyone still heals though, but that must be because the curse will allow no one to die unless the heart is stopped." Sapphire eyes glossed over, turning inward with her off topic contemplation. "I wonder if that means the curse is somehow connected to the heart, or if it cannot cover the ramifications of a dead heart. I suppose that would be like animating a dead body and that is an entirely different form of magic. Perhaps it is the magic itself that heals any wounds and it is not strong or fast enough to heal the heart. Well, you'd die if your brain stopped working, so maybe the curse is connected to both?" Chewing on her thumbnail, Kaoru's head was now bowed into her chest, lost to a line of thought Kenshin could not follow. "So intricate. I wonder how Tomoe connected it all into one being."
"Kaoru-dono." Kaoru jumped as his hand gripped her shoulder, bringing her back to the present. There was something sharp in his voice. Blinking up at him, she was startled to find his attention not focused on her face but her chest, and she thought she caught a reflection of pink in his otherwise golden eyes. Abruptly he was staring back at her, his gaze intense. "Has that witch being teaching you about magic?"
Startled, Kaoru's head pulled back. "No." His features did not relax, and she bristled. "You think I'm lying to you?" The frown on his face deepened for a moment as he searched her eyes.
"No." I believe you, but I don't understand why you sound like you know what you're talking about. Hurt was beginning to show itself in her eyes and he forced himself to relax, and like any good leader wishing to handle a spiraling situation, he tactfully distracted her from his unease. "Why were you asking about the children?"
Distraction tactic a success, she caught her breath as they continued to walk. "I was wondering why some of the children still act as children when others do not. Yahiko-chan and Tsubame-chan were still young when the curse happened, and yet they do not act like children should. On the other hand, out of Saitou-san's four boys, the youngest one, Tatsuo-chan, acts like an infant. He still talks like a child of three or four. The middle two, while seemingly older still do not act like they have been alive for a thousand years. And now this kitten. I don't understand what's going on to keep some of them trapped in their youth while others mature with the time."
Kenshin sighed, his hand squeezing hers. "I myself do not understand it fully either, Kaoru-dono. Whether it is a side-effect from the curse, or a natural working within their brains, I cannot tell you. Some of them have mentally matured to adulthood and lived as adults in their child forms for several hundred years, and then simply digressed back to childhood. Even a few of the adults have withdrawn from our reality. Others, like Saitou's children, simply choose not to mature." Soothingly, his thumb brushed back and forth across her wrist, his words gentling. "Living for a thousand years is a difficult thing to endure, my lady, especially when your mind is… developed enough to understand the entirety of what it means. To tell you the truth, it pains me to see Yahiko and Tsubame behaving like adults, because I know they are suffering under the full understanding of their lifespan. When I see the children acting as children… I am… relieved… but also sad."
The light catch of her fingers pulling against his forced him to stop, their joined hands linking them together as he turned to face her. There were tears in her eyes, and he frowned, his head shaking slowly. "Don't cry, Kaoru-dono."
"But…" Lungs trembling as she tried to fight off her tears, her fingers tightened against his. "It must have been so awful for you." Swallowing with difficulty, her eyes clenched shut and she missed seeing him step closer. "You had to suffer, all alone, for so long, watching everyone else suffer around you, unable to help them. They're your people and you couldn't help them." The tender, slightly calloused skin of his palm and the pads of his fingers cupped one side of her face, and her lashes parted, allowing the tears she was fighting to trail simultaneously down both cheeks. The gold of his irises was so pale they seemed clear, revealing a new, heartbreaking emotion she couldn't name, causing her bottom lip to tremble. "You must be in so much pain."
Unexpectedly, he smiled. It was a fond smile that only barely tilted the corners of his lips. "Not so much anymore." Releasing her hand, he cupped her astonished face between both of his palms. "You see, you are forgetting something very important, Kaoru-dono. If I had not gone through everything that I have… I would have never met you." The frown lines around her eyes abruptly disappeared, her tense muscles slowly relaxing. His smile widened. "Did this thought never cross your mind?" Speechless, she shook her head. "I have thought about it many times since you came to live here. It does not mean I don't regret what I have done, but I know now that I can never change it, either. I can only work hard to make things better from now on. This is all that I can do for my people, Kaoru-dono, but I will always try my best to be what they need me to be. I would never have realized this if not for you." Reaching his thumbs up carefully, he wiped at her tears and his smile became something breathtaking. "It is the first time in my life that I can truly say… I am glad to be me."
X
The slow drifting clouds overhead were increasing in number as the afternoon sun made its monotonous trek across the sky. It periodically lightened and darkened the grove of cherry trees Kaoru found them walking through. The scene was at once inviting and mysterious, captivating and unsettling. Beauty from both sides of light and dark were shown within the manicured wood, and Kaoru was swayed by its allure.
So late in the season, the blooms were already long since fallen and the trees were now rustling happily with new green leaves. Only the sound of the wind and the occasional chirp of a bird filled the comforting silence, and yet, even though there was nothing ominous about their setting, Kaoru was unsettled; anxious; expectant. It was like when she was a child and her parents took her to the beach to play. All of her excitement had to stay bottled and contained up to the very moment they released her to do as she pleased. Standing next to Kenshin, her hand held in his, this was that moment, waiting to be set free to frolic and play. Smiling to herself, she only just realized that as an adult herself now, she was no longer required to wait for someone else's approval.
Lagging behind, step by gradual step, she loosened her grip on his hand and obligingly he did the same. He did not turn to look at her, but continued to wander in and out of the trees, his eyes content and unfocused as he gazed around. Grinning, she let her hand drop completely, followed him a few more steps to make sure he was not concerned by the loss of contact, and then slipped unseen into the maze of trees. Listening intently to his footsteps, she fought her giggle as he kept walking.
This sudden urge to play was overwhelming inside her, a bubble of delight, giddiness, and pure adolescence. Whether it was the mention of the children and his desire to see them remain innocent, her own vision of the two of them playing together as children, or his confession of contentment, no matter how brief or minute, that was causing her playfulness, Kaoru couldn't say. All she did know was that she wanted to expand upon the development they were experiencing. She wanted to continue on with this blossoming relationship and create more and more instances where she was able to see his smile. Because nobody else she knew deserved happiness more than him.
"Kaoru-dono?"
That adorable confusion she heard very rarely was present in his voice, and her smile widened so far it hurt. Timing her steps with his, she slipped between one tree and the next, careful to keep herself hidden from his sight. A soft crunch alerted her that he was coming closer, and she peeked around the tree bark to see if he was looking, and quickly ducked to another tree further away. Another call of her name hinted that he was feeling a touch of worry for her absence, and she strategically giggled to let him know she was fine, this was a game, and she wanted him to play along. There was a moment of silence, and then an answering chuckle.
"Is that how it is?"
The silence stretched and Kaoru frowned, her back pressed up against one of the trees. What was he doing? Peeking at him again, she was surprised to find him standing still, unmoving, eyes closed. Well, that's not how you play. Really, Kenshin, don't you even know how to play hide and seek? Pouting a bit and wondering if she shouldn't come out to explain and then start over, she froze as a warning shiver raced up her spine. Warrior instincts kicking in involuntarily, she jumped to another tree just in time to see his eyes pop open. A thick silence unlike the one before deafened her ears, and she bit back a gasp when she saw out of the corner of her eye the sleeve of his kimono appear next to the tree she was previously hiding behind. Jerking further around to keep from getting caught, her blue eyes widened as she realized what he was doing. That is so cheating!
Just like facing off with an opponent her brain ran through the scenarios and she knew in a split second that there was no way she was going to be able to hide from him any longer. Steadying her breath, knowing she had very little time to act, she braced her muscles… and took off running.
The sun slipped back behind a cloud at the same moment she heard Kenshin turn to watch. Using the trees to hide her progress, she thanked her decision to wear sandals instead of geta, and cursed her kimono. Putting a fair distance between her and her last hiding place, she slid to a stop behind another tree, and checked to see if he had followed. And there was the silence again, ominous and unsettling. He was taking this seriously.
Shaking her head, Kaoru knew better. If he was taking it seriously, he would have caught her already. Grinning at the thought, she jumped when he stepped out from behind a tree not five trunks away to her left, her adrenaline pounding loud in her ears.
"I found you."
The amusement in his voice made her giggle, and she turned to run again. This time he blatantly chased after her, and she squealed in delight as she dodged through the trees, their game of hide and seek quickly deteriorating into a game of tag. It didn't take long for him to close in on her, and she shot sideways to avoid getting caught. Placing the large trunk of a tree in between them, she ducked back and forth to keep it as a barrier. That boyish grin she liked so well was on his face, and he freely played along with her coy behavior, letting her lead him back and forth. Laughing around her gasps for air, she feinted to one side and then took off running again in the opposite direction.
Several more trees were given the unfortunate opportunity to shield her fleeing figure, and the grove echoed with their combined laughter. The sun once again made an appearance, lighting the grass with warm sunshine and casting shadows of their moving figures. Cornered once more behind a tree, Kaoru took a moment to rest, her blue eyes bright as she stared into the laughing gold just on the other side of the trunk.
"Do you give up?"
Grinning around her heavy breaths, trying not to feel chagrined that he didn't even seem winded, she lifted her chin haughtily. "Never." He laughed, and he never looked more human, or more boyish, than in that moment. Mood softening, she huffed out a breath. "I might concede to a draw, though."
"Ah." Considering her seriously, he seemed to weigh his options before nodding in mock gravity. "Very well, I accept." Suddenly amused, he stood straight, his arms crossing as he leaned against the tree. "You should know, my lady. I have never lost before."
Lifting a brow, Kaoru straightened as well and pushed away from the tree. "A draw isn't a loss."
"It isn't a win either, ne?"
"Oh." Eyes crinkling, Kaoru giggled. "I guess you're right. So does that mean I'm the only person who has ever forced you to accept a draw?"
"That's right." Leaning forward to look her intently in the eye, his lips twitched even as his words were stern. "Let's keep that between you and me. If Soujirou ever found out, I'd never hear the end of it."
Fighting her laughter, Kaoru tried to nod in a serious way to match. "Your secret is safe with me, my lord. I shall keep my proud victory inside and torment you only when we are alone." It's not like I really won anyway.
"How magnanimous of you." Voice dry, he smiled when her giggles broke through, her bought of playfulness stirring a warm emotion to the surface inside his chest. Standing straight once more, he studied the expression on her face, his head falling to one side to rest against the tree trunk. It was nothing but beautiful, getting to watch her like this, and he was so glad he was being allowed a moment to enjoy her.
Sapphire eyes alight with laughter and love, Kaoru let her giggles trail off. The shadow of another cloud was concealing parts of the grove in a hazy gloom, darkening the expression on Kenshin's face so she could only recognize his amusement and the lingering effects of his laughter. Smiling up at him, she blinked as the cloud moved on, a gust of wind and the speed of the shadows suggesting swifter air currents up above. Blinded only briefly, she watched as his head tilted over to lean against the tree, his expression warming with the light, and caught her breath as something familiar tugged at her heart.
The look on his face. She knew that look, recognized it from somewhere. Smile faltering under bewilderment, her eyes widened as she suddenly remembered her dream. Shinta had looked like that in her dream, his features soft and loving as he gazed upon his wife. Smile fading completely, her subconscious disagreed. No. Not Shinta, but the painting. The painting Kenshin was even now hiding away in his room. A depiction of the two of them, together, happy, and he was looking at her with the same expression he was wearing even now; tender affection, adoring amusement, wonder, awe, longing… the look of a man in love.
It took only a couple seconds of her blank stare, however, to peel away that look from his face, replacing it with concern instead. Wanting to hold on to the emotion still warring within her, an emotion she was unable to articulate into an expression, she bit her lip and ducked back around the tree. Biting her lip hard, she balled her hands into her chest, closed her eyes, and pressed her back up against the rough surface of bark. She had wanted more than anything for him to look at her like that, and now that he had, she wanted desperately to drink up every detail of the way she felt and burn the image in her mind forever.
Confused and concerned by her retreat, Kenshin was indecisive for only a moment, wondering if he was allowed to follow her or not. Concern won out, and he took a tentative step forward, his hand trailing against the tree, his head stretching forward to find her. "Kaoru-dono?" Startled by her posture, he stepped closer until he was facing her, his hands hesitantly hovering over her shoulders. "What happened? Is something wrong?"
A stunning smile spread across her features, and she looked up at him, her eyes glistening with tears. The concern on his face wavered, unsure what to feel when she was smiling so happily and yet tearing up. The baffled look made her laugh softly. "Nothing's wrong, Kenshin. I'm just… happier than I have ever been in my life." Allowing him to pull her forward off the tree, she stood with only his hands touching her shoulders, only him anchoring her to reality. "Perhaps that's not very impressive, coming from a seventeen year old girl, but…" Wiping at her eyes, she sniffed. "I think it'll definitely take a lot to make me any happier than I am now."
Gazing down at her was a much different look of love, one full of distress, puzzlement, and compassion. "Then why are you crying, you silly woman?" Affection and the touch of his hands brushing once more at her tears softened the words into an endearment. Breathless and smiling, she shook her head.
"Because I love you so much, and I'm… I'm overwhelmed, that's all." Closing her eyes, her lips pouted, and she tried to bat his hands away. "Don't make fun of me, okay? I don't know why I'm crying."
Stepping closer, he pinned her arms against his chest, forcing her to give up on fighting him over clearing away her tears. "I would never make fun of you for crying, my lady." Golden irises wandering over the face now so close to his own, he felt overpoweringly encouraged by her still closed eyes. Arms adjusting to wrap around her shoulders, his hands slid from her face to the back of her skull and the slope between her shoulder blades. "Especially if it is because you are happy simply being in love with me." There was a touch of pain and awe in his whispered words, and her eyes opened just in time to part her lips in surprise.
The, at first, tentative touch of his mouth on hers was so incredibly warm and soft, a direct counterpoint to the cold and hard appearance of his outer shell. It revealed his true nature, a being alive and gentle and loving and so unlike the creature Tomoe had cast him to be. Kaoru already knew this, could count every single one of his traits that gave him away. Even still, it made her heart tremble with intense feeling, blending and dancing with the plain, loving knowledge that she was kissing the man she loved. Though plain was the last word she would ever use to describe the sensation. It felt like the only thing keeping her heart from leaping out of her throat was his mouth.
A small adjustment of his head, and his lips were just a little bit firmer, his arms just a little bit tighter. Fingers fisting into the cloth of his kimono, she tried to keep up with the sensation, but felt like she was drowning, spiraling into a sweet oblivion. A sweet fancy curved her lips into a smile against his. No, not drowning. This is like flying. Like bursting through the clouds and witnessing a world that is burning with more color and warmth than even conceivable on land. I don't ever want to come down. I want to stay aloft, soaring lazily in this warmth and love.
Sighing as he pulled back, she smiled in pleased delight as his panted against her lips. No chase will wind my lord. Only my lips can accomplish that. Lashes fluttering apart, her grin widened as his chest vibrated with restrained laughter.
"And just what do you find so funny, my lord?"
Clawed fingers combed gently through her hair, and he smiled in return. "This pleased look on your face, my lady. I have never been as proud of myself as now, just knowing I have brought this look about." Tenderly he planted a kiss on the side of her mouth, his words lowering, almost bashfully. "Especially since I have no idea what I'm doing."
Having already known this, Kaoru's giggle was not astonished, but sympathetic in her own ignorance. "Me neither. My money's on we'll figure it out, though."
"Hmm. I have faith as well."
X
Kaoru giggled as the gently falling leaf touched down on her nose, her face wiggling to dislodge it. Deep laughter rumbled against her back at her plight, and seconds later a careful hand was plucking the leaf away. Leaning back into his chest, she dropped her head back to rest on his shoulder and stared up at the canopy of tree limbs and the cloudy sky above. Sighing into her hair, his arms wrapped around her, the sleeves of his kimono billowing into her lap, and held her closer against the hollow of his body.
It was getting later in the afternoon and they had made little progress in leaving the cherry grove. The wind was picking up a little, and there was a cooling touch in the air, but both were too comfortable to wish an end to their walk. A short walk that had quickly turned into a day out. Snuggling into his embrace, Kaoru chose not to feel bad about keeping him away from his duties for the afternoon. They had accomplished something on their own, and she refused to feel guilty. Well, at least completely guilty.
Grinning, she placed her hands over his, feeling warm despite the breeze, and safe despite her proximity to danger. For there was no doubt the man she was with was dangerous; consciously as well as unconsciously. Their game of hide and seek spoke of his stealth, speed, and grace. Their following moments of sweet intimacy showed her how irresistible the touch of love could be. They would have to be careful from now on not to let things go too far. Especially since they were both so inexperienced.
Teasingly, his wings wrapped around them, cocooning them inside a world of glowing red. Reflexively her knees drew up against her chest, and the strong legs bracketing her on either side did the same, encasing her further, surrounding her with him. Chin resting on her shoulder, he sighed again, a happy, contented noise that made her heart ache.
"This is how I like my world the most. Just you and me. No one else to bother us, no duties to worry about: no past, no present, no future… no curse." Sliding his chin back, he pressed his face into her kimono. "I wish we could stay like this forever."
The similar words partially echoed her dream, and she closed her eyes, but tried not to let them pull her away from the playfulness they were sharing. Squeezing his arms, she forced a laugh. "We would surely get bored."
She could feel his grin against her shoulder. "I'm sure we could find something to do."
Twisting in his grip, shock made her laugh incredulously. "What's this? A couple measly kisses and you think you're a master now?"
"Measly kisses? I don't see what was measly about them?"
"Well, we do still have a lot to learn."
"See. We won't get bored. We have to train."
"Train?"
"To be a master."
"A master of kissing? Who are you going to brag to about that one?"
Smiling, Kenshin pulled her closer into his chest. "Just you."
Waiting in anticipation as his head lowered towards her, she closed her eyes. "Better be just me."
Half-sprawled on his chest, her arms encircled his neck, tightening as he angled the kiss. Still sheltered by his wings, his warmth, and his arms, she felt truly isolated from the outside world, focused purely on him. So when he tensed slightly in surprise, her eyes shot open without hesitation to see what was wrong.
Lips breaking apart, he blinked and grinned sardonically. "I don't think boredom would be our problem, Kaoru-dono. Soaking wet might, however."
"What?" Question barely out of her mouth, she felt three sharp drops of moisture hit the top of her head, and still partially dazed, she looked up to see what was going on. Through the trees she could see that the sky was now fully dark with ominous rain clouds, and they were about to let loose on their cherry grove. "Oh. I think you're right."
"Come on. Let's get out of here before we're drenched." Lifting her to her feet as he stood himself, he took her hand and led her back through the trees.
X
Laughing as he tugged her up onto the veranda, Kaoru tripped into his side, their sopping wet clothing slapping together with a smack. Not even completely out of the trees and the rain had started to fall. By the time they had made it fully into the city, they were already soaked. Forgoing the offerings for shelter by the townsfolk, Kaoru had pulled Kenshin insistently back towards the palace. Since they were already wet, and it wasn't a thunder storm, she didn't see the harm in continuing their walk. Anyway, Kaoru loved walking in the rain.
Now under the shelter of the palace awnings, they stopped to rest, their hair and clothing dripping small puddles on the walkways where they disappeared through the spaced planking. Pulling herself up, their clothing peeling apart reluctantly, she shook out her sleeves and pushed her limp bangs away from her face. "Well, that was fun." Giggling, she reached over to detach his own sleeve from his wing.
"You're going to catch a cold, Kaoru-dono." Meticulously plucking each wet strand off of her face, he frowned in concern, already regretting their hike through the downpour.
"Stop worrying so much, Kenshin." Slapping at his hands, she pursed her lips. "I enjoyed everything about today. I don't want to ruin it by worrying."
"Then don't give me cause to worry." Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he led her down the walkway. "As soon as the bath is ready you will go straight in the tub and then into some dry clothes. Then you will have some tea while we wait for supper. And please dress warmly. You could catch a chill without knowing."
"Yes, Dad." Rolling her eyes, Kaoru looked away, briefly distracted by the still open doorway to the shrine. Only… before it was barely ajar. Now, it was halfway open. Was there something in particular Tomoe was watching?
"I'm being serious, Kaoru-dono. I don't want you getting sick again."
Sighing, her attention drawn back to him, she smiled at the sweet concern in his voice. Leaning over suddenly, she planted a quick kiss on his lips. "I know. I'll do as you ask, but only because I don't want you frowning at me for the rest of the evening."
Relaxing enough to smile back, he tightened his arm and pulled her in for a longer kiss. "Thank you." Leaning his forehead against hers, he pouted and she blinked in shock. "We'll have to restrain ourselves here at the palace, my lady. The servants have a bad habit of spreading gossip."
"Oh… I guess you're right." Not too eager on having the entire population in the know on what they had only recently started to enjoy, Kaoru immediately vowed to watch herself.
Dropping his arm, he stood a bit straighter and looked decidedly uncomfortable. "I think it… might also be best if you have Misao accompany you more often." One dark brow lifted, and he cleared his throat, a clawed-hand scratching his scalp. "A young lady should really have a chaperone with her at all times. For protection."
Kaoru stopped, blinked, and then her mouth dropped open. "From you?" Kenshin did not say anything, but did not look her in the eye either. "Really? You would…?"
Golden eyes shot back to hers. "No."
"Then why?"
"I think it would be best, considering…"
Considering neither of us is experienced, and both of us are a bit eager? Filling in the blanks in her head, Kaoru bit her lip. "I trust you, Kenshin." Her serious confession softened the look in his eyes, and she swallowed. Wanting to make him smile again, she tossed her head haughtily, her next words teasing to lighten the mood. "After all, even when under the influence of my considerable charm, you are still a hopeless gentleman."
It worked, his chuckles sudden and unexpected. Grabbing his hand, she dragged him down the veranda. "Come on, my gallant sir. I have duties to fulfill. I'm needed in the bath before I catch a cold and my lord gets angry at me."
X
A/N: That wasn't how I had envisioned ending the chapter, but after everything that was altered in the chapter itself, I think I got everything across that I wanted to in it, so the ending wasn't really necessary. Besides, the next chapter will get to hint at a few of the things I wanted to put in, so it's not a total loss.
Oh, and by the way, I'm doomed! Cursed! Plagued by these chapters that just keep getting longer and longer, spreading themselves out underneath more poor worn fingers as I type and slave away with this blasted laptop, eating up what little time I have to myself. I hope you enjoy them, because I have worked hard to give them especially to you. Please say you do.
Now that I seem to be a bit scatterbrained, let's get back to the story. Sano at the beginning is really only a prelude to what is going on in his life. I made him so depressing, but I wanted to do something different than what I've put everyone else through. I hope it will be good enough to entertain, and sound realistic enough to fit his character… even just a little. After all… I'm playing off of his no real purpose that he seemed to have in the manga. Just a wandering brawler, beating people up for money. We'll see how it turns out.
On to Kenshin and Kaoru… what is there to say? They're so cute to write! I have so much fun with those two. The kitten was something I've wanted to do since the beginning. I have cats of my own, and I just knew his tail would be a great source of amusement for a cat. Also, I had someone comment on the children and their behavior, so I hope this clears that up for you. A good point, and I'm glad you brought it to my attention. I thought I had mentioned something about it before when Kaoru was visiting Tokio, but looking back on it, it didn't really explain anything. So this is hopefully a little bit better. I hope everyone liked their first kiss. Once again, it was something that didn't turn out the way I had imagined, but perhaps just a bit better suited to the situation and characters, anyway. Also… Kenshin got a bit playful after. Is that just a guy thing? My boyfriend is like that, anyway. Perhaps he has finagled his way into my story by bugging me all day. Who knows.
One last thing… I must brag and brag and brag! I, this lowly little writer, have finally had someone draw, or rather paint, a picture for one of my stories. This story, obviously since I'm telling you here. I am so thrilled and honored; I don't know what to do with myself. Knowing someone has put the effort and taken the time to think about my story so much that they would wish to put it to canvas! Aw, sweet ecstasy. Anyway, everyone should look it up. Just go to deviantartdotcom and search for caseyedith in the search bar. It should take you straight to the pic. It's got my name and the title to Cursed on it and everything! So cool! Thanks again caseyedith! You're awesome!
Thanks again, and please leave me a review. Next chapter… soft confessions, bitter arguments, and summer love.