"How in the hell am I supposed to take all of this shit home," Jen bemoaned, looking at Tess and her mother. Antoinette only chuckled and shook her head, her eyes on the increasingly massive pile of baby gifts that had come all over from the intensely loyal fan base that had loved both her and Tommy. Unbeknownst to the Conlon and LaRocca families, there had been a following that kept track of Jen's entire pregnancy, from the day it had been announced at SPARTA. The baby had received money, clothes, toys and everything else that he would probably ever need during his first year of life. Jen as well had been the receiver of many well-wishing cards, flowers and 'mommy gifts' to keep herself sane and healthy while taking to task a newborn.

"Don't worry about it Jen. The boys will come up and take it all out- you really weren't expecting this kind of reception, were you," her mother asked, the younger woman turning as she toweled off her hair. "Were you?" Antoinette pulled out a magazine bookmarked on a candid spread of Jen throughout her pregnancy, Tommy's wife in shock. "They're calling him 'America's baby'; Tommy's a national hero, and a public figure. Welcome to the spotlight honey." Jen snatched the magazine away and looked over the pages, shaking her head, "Not only is that really creepy, he's not 'America's baby' ma. He's mine and Tom's."

Tess looked out at the window at the reporters and sighed, knowing that the pressure could prove too much for Jen right now. "I've got to do something about this. Jen, get yourself ready- we're going to make a run for it," she said before leaving the room, her sister-in-law thankful for someone who would rally beside her.

She began to get dressed, feeling her post-labor stitches pull as she moved, wincing painfully. "Mom, how are my kids? I haven't had a chance to talk to them today," Jen murmured, Antoinette moving to ease the hoodie over her head. "Thanks." Her mother then picked up a brush and started to brush through her daughter's hair, one of the things she had loved to do during her childhood. The strain on the women's relationship had eased over the course of the past few months and Jen found it easy to lean on Antoinette, having known even through all the bullshit that she would be there for her no matter what. "The last I saw of them, they were sleeping- but they're probably up by now. They know you're coming home today and they're excited that they actually get to 'keep Alex'," Antoinette grinned as she now braided Jen's hair, hearing her daughter chuckled. "So I'm guessing Alex has stuck with the youngers, but I will proceed to call him by his full name for the entirety of his life. Alexander at the very least…"

The morning seemed to move slowly as the family helped move them out of the hospital room, Jen having to sign a fair amount of paperwork. When it came to her son's official birth certificate, the physician there paused and looked at her compassionately, "We can have this document sent to your husband as legal paperwork he has to complete; it'll be a way to inform him about the birth and I can probably get young Thomas's picture in with it. He deserves it."

"Yes, thank you," Jen said quietly, truly understanding just how many people wanted to help Tommy. "For everything."

She was sitting in the darkened living room, staring out of the window, thankful that- for now- the house was quiet.

"Hey. You want me to take him for you, Jenny?"

Turning to stare at Brendan, her arms tightening around Alexander just a bit, "What?" Brendan caught the blank look in her eyes and figured that she had been thinking, repeating his question. "The baby- do you want me to put him to bed," he asked, Jen half-smiling and shaking her head. "No, its alright Bren. I used to hold your brother while he slept and I haven't gotten a chance to do that with little Tommy being in the hospital and all. I think I'm just going to hold him tonight…" Brendan sighed and moved to sit on the couch across from her armchair, looking over at his sister-in-law and his newly born nephew. "He looks like you a bit, in his nose and cheeks. But the rest of him? That's my brother's boy, no doubt about it," he murmured, Jen smiling as she looked down at her sleeping son. "Yeah- Alexander's already acting like him too. He's playful and always active and sometimes I even think he tries to smirk like Tommy, but he just hasn't got the hang of it yet… And you know even from his birth that he hasn't let anyone forget that he's here. And you are here, sweetheart. Momma's got you," she whispered down to the baby in her arms, feeling her heart ache just a little bit as she thought back on the events surrounding his birth. Jen then looked up at Brendan and narrowed her eyes, "Get out."

"Excuse me?"

"Go home Brendan. You've been by my side pretty much day and night for the past month- ever since I was admitted to the hospital- and you're dead tired. You've been worried about me so much that you haven't been taking care of yourself… or your wife," Jen replied pointedly, seeing his cheeks redden just a bit. "So go home, get laid, be with your family for once and get some fucking sleep. I've got it here."

He swallowed and looked at her, searching her face, "You sure?"

"I'm positive."

Once he had checked on the kids and made sure the house was locked up, Brendan had left, leaving Jen to contemplate what she would do now. Doing her best not to wake him, Jen climbed the stairs to look at her other children, wanting to make sure that they were alright. Not having Tommy around and having Jen in the hospital had clearly shaken them, but she knew that for the next twelve years and the rest of their lives that she would make sure to always have them safe, secure and happy. Peeking in on the twins, she realized that it had only been a few very short years ago that she had held them in her arms just as she held Alexander, swallowing back the knot in her throat. All of a sudden, she missed them as they had been in their infancy- the way they smelled, the feel of them in her arms, the way they smiled at her. It had been all the incentive she needed to bring her out of the dark, and now, as she looked down at her baby, it was all she could do to keep from breaking down in tears. Alexander- and his siblings as well- were the closest she could ever be to the man she loved more than life itself for what would be twelve very long, very painful years. Every time she would look at their faces, all she would see was Tommy- all she could ever see was Tommy. And every smile, every look into baby blue eyes that seemed to see through her reminded her of the one thing she could never have.

Finally knowing that she couldn't hold Alexander all night, Jen took him to her bedroom and to the crib that Paddy had built, stroking back his baby soft hair with a sigh. "I love you, my sweet, sweet boy…" Jen pressed her lips to his forehead and laid him down, moving to lay on her own bed and stare at his sleeping form.

She had always thought of herself and Tommy in terms of fate, that he was always meant to come back to her. And Jen believed in it wholeheartedly, knowing that some part of her would always be that teenaged girl who had fallen madly, intensely in love with Tommy. And he had been the reason for her purpose- holding Shane for the first time, all she could think of was how intensely grateful she was for Tommy, that he could have given her something so beautiful, so perfect. She remembered being thankful for all of those nights when he was deployed, Shane curled up against her on the couch as she showed him pictures and videos of Tommy. She had known then, that until the day she was put into the ground, that she would try and make Tommy as happy as he had made her.

It didn't take her long to fall asleep in the comfort of her own bed, her face buried in her husband's pillow where his scent lingered strongest. But Jen wasn't sure how long she had been sleep before she was stirred by someone lifting her arm, half-opening one eye to see her Shane, wild-haired and red-eyed, sliding into the bed with her. She shifted to accommodate him and he sniffled, snuggling up against his mother.

"I miss dad," he whispered, feeling her free hand moving to smooth down his hair.

"Me too baby; me too."

It wasn't long before Henry and Dakota joined them, curling around Jen's leg and snuggling up to her back. She did her best to comfort them through the night, wanting them to only sleep and be at peace. But she knew, even despite how hard she tried, that she could never give them the one thing that they truly wanted and needed.

Their father.