Sorry I haven't updated this story in a long time! I hope there are people still out there who'll read this chapter!

Inspired by a writers' block. Didn't know how to progress the story, but in the end, this chapter did its job.

Took me two days to write, whereas the others took a couple weeks.

I hope I can get this show on the road!!

Enjoy.

Yo.

"Dude, you're so wrong!"

These were the same words thrown back in the same angry fashion for over half an hour now, at the same vampire, the thrower defending their side of the same subject, and the other his.

It was a very intense battle of wits, one that required every bit of shrewdness and reasoning that both Kisame and Zetsu both had within their power of being immortal.

A very intense battle of wits, indeed...

One that could crack the code of life itself....

"I'm telling you Zetsu! Spiderman. Kicks. Batman's. Ass."

Or not.

"No freakin' way." The green-haired vampire shook his head as he said this.

The two vampires were walking down a dark and deserted street, their only light being the lit street lamps on every corner of the blocks and a few in-between that.

After spending the night feeding—from strippers, no less—Kisame, Zetsu, Tobi, and Itachi were now heading back to the mansion before daylight so they wouldn't be noticed by early risers.

Pein and Konan had hailed a cab, but the others had decided to walk, to enjoy the cool fading night while it lasted.

"How can you say that?! Spiderman rules!"

"Well...Batman has armor. Spiderman's attacks would prove ineffective."

"Yes, but Batman doesn't even have any realpowers! What kind of superhero doesn't have their own powers?"

"Apparently Batman."

Name one reason Spiderman could defeat Batman, Kisame."

"Okay... Spiderman has his spidey sense, so that would leave the element of surprise useless for Batman, plus all his explosive equipment would be detected by mah man Spidey before they ever went off."

"So? Batman is a genius, he could figure a way to beat him without the explosives and the boomerangs and all that stuff he has."

"Really? How?"

Zetsu stopped suddenly, his face screwed up in a thinking pout twisted with pain trying to come up with an idea.

"I give up." he admitted after awhile.

The two resumed walking.

"HEY, YOU GUYS!"

The two vampires paused once more and glanced behind their shoulders.

Tobi was flying across the pavement towards them; being half-vampire and not reaching full potential, the man-child was not as fast as the others, but still could reach high speeds if he put his mind to it.

"ZETSU! KISAME! Wait up!"

Casually the two stepped out of the way of the black and orange blur that quickly became larger and larger as it sped closer.

"Uh-oh...AAAAAHHH!!"

CRASH.

"Tobi, you're going to wake up the whole city!" Zetsu hissed.

Tobi groaned.

He was sitting in a overturned trashcan, covered in garbage.

The masked Akatsuki member tried to wriggle free, but his bum was stuck in the waste receptacle pretty well.

Tobi became excited when his eyes landed on his fellow comrades' feet inches from his swirly face.

"Oh! Guys! Can you help Tobi out of here?" He wiggled around a little for emphasis on his predicament.

Kisame faked a pondering face.

"Hmm... I don't know, should we Zetsu?"

"I have no idea. It's a hard decision."

"C'mon guys, it's not funny!" Tobi whined.

"It's looks pretty funny from up here."Zetsu turned to his comrade, the one not in the trashcan.

"So I can't think of any way that Batman could sneak up on Spiderman, so what? Batman is still stronger than Spiderman."

"What makes you sure about that?"

"Batman wears armor, remember? And jumping around in the city with armor on is no easy task."

"Hey, you guys are talking about superheroes?"

Kisame and Zetsu looked down again to find that Tobi had returned to his previous excited state; he seemed to have forgotten that he was lying on the sidewalk with his rear end stuck in the trashcan.

"I love Spiderman!" Tobi said, writhing on the ground in his usual giddy excitement.

Kisame gave Zetsu a cheeky—not to mention toothy—smile.

"Ha! Your partner likes my superhero more!"

"Tobi! You're not supposed to favor the enemy!" Zetsu hissed.

Tobi looked up at him with an apologetic expression behind the orange swirly mask, no doubt.

"Sorry, Zetsu! But Spiderman can shoot webs!"

And to prove his point, Tobi adjusted his fingers of one gloved hand and flicked his wrist at the nearest lamppost, making hissing sounds.

"Oh brother..." his partner muttered, while Kisame was busy laughing raucously.

"Kisame, hush, you'll wake the neighbors."

The man with tinted blue skin stopped laughing almost at once; the sound of his partner's voice behind him could make anyone stop what they were doing at the moment.

He turned to find Itachi standing boredly behind him.

"Hey Itachi!" Tobi called from foot level, "we were just talking about superheroes, and how Spiderman kicks Batman's butt!"

"Yes, I heard."

The Uchiha stepped to the masked man stuck in the waste disposal basket.

"Mind giving me a hand?"

"Uhh, yeah sure." Kisame answered. He gave a nod to Zetsu, silently motioning him to aid in the rescue of Tobi's bum from the dreaded trashcan.

They managed Tobi up, which was a little difficult; in the end he had to be hunched over with the basket, giving the impression that he was imitating a turtle of some sort.

Zetsu placed his hands on either side of the can, and Kisame and Itachi had an arm and shoulder of Tobi's each.

"On three, pull." Itachi instructed. "One. Two. Three!!"

A few harsh tugs on both sides, and Tobi was free.

He landed on Kisame, for Itachi had smartly stepped out of the way just in time.

"Tobi, get off of me!" Kisame pushed the childish man off roughly.

Tobi fell on his butt in front of Kisame, giggling amiably whilst shaking the empty wrappers and such from his hair that he had acquired in the previous crash.

"Yay! Tobi is reunited with his butt once again!" He stood up and twisted his head around to get a good look at his buttocks; he began to pat his butt fondly with both hands, much like a beloved dog of some sorts.

"Such a good bottom I have..."

Kisame stared at Tobi with a freaked-out expression on his face.

"Wo-ow...."

"I know." Zetsu agreed at his side.

"If you three are finished with your shenanigans."

The previously named vampires looked to Itachi, standing on the sidelines wearing a slightly annoyed and impatient expression.

"It's almost daylight. We have to get home. Now."

It was true. The tall run-down apartment buildings in the current section of the city they resided in were now set against a periwinkle sky, which was a dozen shades lighter than just a few minutes ago.

"Hey guys? Do you want to know who my favoritest superhero is?" Tobi was skipping behind the three, more mature vampires, who were busy hurrying along the soon-to-be-filled-with-humans sidewalk.

Kisame sighed. Oh boy.

"I suppose so."

"Guess!" Itachi turned his head, for he heard Tobi stop.

"Tobi, we don't have time for this!" the Uchiha scolded. "Get moving!"

Tobi folded his arms, clearly not intending to move any time soon.

"Not until you guess my favoritest superhero!" he whined.

"Oh God.

"I dunno... Spiderman?" Itachi guessed, remembering that stupid debate his comrades had awhile back.

Tobi giggled irritatingly behind his mask.

"Nope! This one's better than Spiderman!"

Itachi sighed in a tired, defeated sort of way. He needed to take a nap, find some peace away from all these idiots.

"Kisame, Zetsu, you take care of this one. I need to get back home."

"Itachi, wait—!" But he was already gone.

Both two remaining true vampires sighed.

Damn.

Warily, they mustered up every comic book hero they could think of.

"Is it Superman?"

"No!"

"The Green Lantern?"

"In your dreams!"

"Hmm... Is it Wolverine?"

"Nopety nope!"

And so it continued for at least eight more minutes.

"Damnit Tobi!" Zetsu cursed, "Just tell us your favorite superhero!!"

Tobi was silent for a moment, enjoying the fact that he had stumped his friends, and yet not realizing the fact that he was about to be strangled in the next few seconds if he didn't answer; the masked man-boy finally spoke.

"Okay! My favoritest superhero is....."

Despite themselves, Kisame and Zetsu leaned in. What superhero had they not named? They had named them all, right? This was gonna be good!

"Barney!"

Kisame stumbled back, as if punched. "What the hell! Barney the Dinosaur? Zetsu, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR PARTNER?!"

"I have been trying to figure that out for years!" the plant appreciator howled, his head in his black and white hands.

"Yeah! Barney rules!" Tobi began dancing in a circle, chanting "Bar-ney! Bar-ney! Bar-ney!" to himself.

"Barney the Dinosaur is not a superhero!" Kisame was itching to strangle this little twerp. How dare he consider that stupid, overgrown purple freak a hero of any sorts? It was just plain wrong!

But the anger died down, leaving Kisame and Zetsu with a feeling of hopelessness and remorse.

"I need to get out of here."

"Yeah, me too."

"Bar-ney! Bar-ney! Bar—hey guys, where' ya going!"

And so begun the chase of the masked man-boy after the two true remaining vampires on the block....

"Oh my...What the hell happened here?"

The same words were running through Kisame and Itachi's minds too.

"Hey guys! Why are you so fucking late? You missed out on a good fight!"

"Hidan..." Kisame said slowly, "Why is your scythe in Sasori's stomach?"

Hidan snorted, as if it was obvious. "Because, the fucking prick tried to kill his only son. If you ask me, that pretty fucking—"

"Hey guys! I finally caught up to ya!" Tobi rushed into the mansion, slamming the doors behind him.

Sasori groaned, his eyelids fluttering open; but only the whites were to be shown. He was still knocked out.

"Woah...What happened?"

"Tobi, you're pretty fucking slow. Sasori. Tried. To. Kill. The. Baby."

Tobi gasped, his hands flying up to wear his mouth would be behind the mask.

"What? You mean my unborn nephew? Nooo!"

"Believe, Swirly Face." Hidan sneered in Itachi, Kisame, and Zetsu's direction now.

"So? Are you gonna just stand there, mouth agape, or are you going to help me move him?" The Jashinist kicked Sasori's head with his bare foot to make a point.

Both Kisame and Zetsu blinked simultaneously. Itachi didn't blink at all.

"Right."

"Just so I'm sure," Kisame gasped out as both he and Zetsu were forced to heave Sasori's limp body to the infirmary, while Itachi merely stood on the sidelines, and Tobi chattered animatedly with Hidan about the superpowers that Barney possessed, "we both agree:

One: Barney is not a superhero.

Two: Tobi doesn't know anything about superheroes. And

Three: Spiderman kicks Batman's ass."

"Yes, yes, and fine."

Did you love it?

Again, had a writers' block, but then somehow I got an idea on debating about superheroes.

I asked my stepdad who would win, Spiderman or Batman--discreetly trying to get ideas out of him for this chapter--and he said Batman "because he has armor".

And that's where Zetsu's point of view comes in.

Spiderman is my favoritest superhero. I was spidergirl/spiderman when I was 5 years old for Halloween, and I always watched the cartoon when I was a kid (1995 version) .

My favorite supervillian was DOC OC just because of how he looked n stuff. My favorite episodes are whenever he loses his powers and the bad guys capture him and find out its Peter Parker under the mask, but they don't really believe its him being Spiderman. So they use Peter to lure spiderman, though they're too foolish to realize Peter is Spiderman.

Yeah. GOOD TIMES.

PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW!! Just so I know I haven't lost my touch with this story and there are still lovers of this fanfiction!!