A/N: Holy Crap! YOU GUYS MADE ME CRY! The response from the last chapter was amaaazing! My email box kept lighting up with alerts of reviews even days after the last update was posted... I am just overwhelmed... so thank you, thank you everybody who took a moment to tell me your thoughts! I just... wow... speechless. What a tremendous gift! Thank you for sticking with this story!
Just a quick word... real life just got a little bit busier, as I needed to take on a second job while still helping out my folks... My dad needs a little more care these days, and its hard on my mom, so updates may be a little further apart, but no less amazing. Please be patient!
Some of you might be thinking... oh, Mer & Der are together now... this story is going to end soon, Wah! But I'm not so sure about that, still a lot of story here to tell... and a lot of MerDer, since I have to satisfy my deprived fans right? Right. Not to mention Mcfamily time... Squirrels, mice, and bears anyone?
Anywho... Note the time jump back for this first scene!
Enjoy!
June 14 2028 Seattle Derek.
I sighed and pulled my big bag of gear onto the luggage cart. Zola and Bailey had dashed off impatiently ahead, while Ellis and I struggled with our stuff as we scrambled to get in line at the airport.
"Derek!" I heard Meredith call.
I spun around, I didn't expect to see her because we'd said goodbye at the house. "What are you doing here?"
"You forgot your passport!" Meredith trotted over to me, waving a small black wallet with gold embossing. "It was on the counter."
What? How had I forgotten that? I patted my pockets, "oh," I said.
"Yeah, 'oh'." Meredith said, a little exasperated. "You left your phone off, I tried calling you like six times..." She stopped and frowned. "What?"
I realized I was smiling widely at her. She looked harried, her hair was a mess, she wore ratty sweats, no make-up or lip gloss, her jacket glistened with rain from the downpour outside, and the cold had caused her skin to look a tad paler. That little wrinkle in the corner of her mouth seemed more defined, as it wasn't covered up-
It was just... she just...
"What?" she asked again as she handed me my passport.
"I love you," I said.
"Uh huh," she replied, raising her brows up at me.
She didn't get it... Sometimes she could be so perceptive, and other times things went right over her head.
Don't you see?
Don't you understand?
You're the love of my life. I can't leave you...
She was my best friend. She'd always been. Even after Mark and I let bygones be bygones, I never had the same level of friendship with him again. It'd always been Meredith. She was my best friend, my colleague, my wife, my lover, the mother of my children. She was everything. How had I forgotten that? I needed her. I always needed her...
But she needed me too. And I knew, despite years of marriage and all we'd been through, sometimes she doubted me. It was rare, but sometimes, there'd be a flicker in her eyes, after we had a fight, or... like this morning, when I questioned her final schedule... or right now even, just this... smidgen of doubt. Fear. That I might leave her. And I knew Meredith wasn't even aware of it. It was a wound left from childhood, that reopened and inflicted pain when she lost her mother to Alzheimer's, and she lost her friends George and Izzie ... when she had a miscarriage, when Lexie died, and when I made a mistake and kissed someone else.
Things like this? They don't work.
I had to make sure she knew I wouldn't leave her. I could never do that to her. I stepped closer, reaching with my hand to cup her cheek. Her skin was soft and moist, and her eyes shone. Her lips parted when she saw my intentions and I kissed her softly.
A promise.
From now on you can expect that I'm gonna show up. I'm always gonna show up. Okay?
"I love you," I said again, leaking every ounce of that feeling into my expression. I loveyouandIneedyouandyou'reeverythingtome... I said without speaking.
She sighed, sniffed a little, and looked up at me. I know, the look in her eyes said. "I love you too..." she said, I loveyouandIneedyoutooandIknow...
"We're okay?" I asked.
She reached around my neck and straightened my collar. Her hands ran down my lapels, smoothing them. "We're okay," she replied.
I rubbed her shoulder. "I'll see you in less then fourty-eight hours then..."
"Less then forty-eight hours," she smiled. "Have a safe flight."
"See you," I picked up my bags and turned my luggage cart around.
"See you," I heard her say as I headed toward the boarding gate.
xxx
January 2038 Seattle Derek.
"I can't remember... our last kiss." I said, staring at the woman of my Dreams. Meredith. I stepped a little closer. "The last time we were together and happy... I wanna remember it... but, I- Meredith, I can't remember." I said softly.
She looked like she was seeing a ghost. In shock. I didn't blame her. My heart hammered in my chest. Ba-bang, ba-bang, ba-bang. I swallowed and stepped closer.
No sudden moves.
"Derek..." she breathed finally.
"Yes," I replied with a nod.
"Is it... it's... really you?" her voice was almost a whisper.
"Yes," I said, stepping even closer. I ignored the water dripping from my brow, trailing down my face, falling off my chin. No sudden moves, I reminded myself.
Her gaze was all over me... taking me in, her eyes tracked every detail, every wrinkle and line. Every strand of hair. All of me. "I'm not... you're not-?" she stopped, and I saw a thin film of water over her eyes.
Hallucinating? A Delusion?
I swallowed a lump in my throat. There was just this huge dam in me, ten years of... pent up stuff that made my throat constrict, my heart ache. Meredith. She looked so... I had no words to describe it. I just wanted to hold her. I shuffled a little closer, less than an arm's reach away. "No," I said.
She whimpered. "Derek..." she said, reaching for me with trembling fingers.
No sudden moves.
Stay here. Don't move. Wait for me.
Her hand caught my jacket. Curled into a fist around a handful of the vinyl fabric. She didn't look at me, though. Just stared at my chest, as if she was afraid to look up. I covered her warm hand with my cold wet one and gently pried her fingers away from the vinyl. I brought her hand up to my lips and softly kissed her knuckles. "It's me," I said, my breath warming the space between us. "I'm here."
And then the dam inside me started to crack and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her into me. She clutched me so tight, it was hard to breathe, and then she was shaking. Shaking and sobbing. Her hair, slightly damp, mixed with the rain and tears that had fallen down my neck. I sniffed, crying too, unable to stop the emotional downpour that I'd held in for the last ten years.
Ten years.
"I'm here." I said again. "It's me. I'm here Meredith. It's me. Shhh... I'm here now... I'm here..." I continued to murmur into her hair, the scent of lavender so familiar... yet so new and refreshing at the same time. Time stopped. The world stopped spinning. In this moment, it was just me and this small quivering body. "Shhh..."
Finally her breaths evened out and the quivering stopped. Meredith's body relaxed against me, and I heard a long sigh, followed by a big wet sniff. Her hands rubbed up from my elbows to shoulders and she slowly pulled herself back.
Again I found myself lost in her green eyes. She sniffed and clumsily wiped her eyes with her shirtsleeve. "You're here." she said.
I nodded, still entranced by those red streaked eyes, those pale tear-stained cheeks, those lips.
"I am," I said.
"You're really here, and you're saying things."
"Yes." I said for what felt like the hundredth time.
"You-"
"Meredith," I interrupted, tucking my knuckle under her chin, gently lifting it to that angle, that perfect kissable angle. I gazed at her soft fragile lips. "Shut up and kiss me."
"Okay," she whispered. Our gaze met for a moment before I found myself staring again at those lips. I closed my eyes, leaned forward, and touched her lips with mine.
It wasn't like before. The kiss before, I had been... anxious, uncertain, hesitant. and she'd been most likely scared and confused. But now, neither of us were. We wanted. Needed. So much had been lost, stolen, and destroyed.
And now...
The very first touch of our lips together was soft and nervous. But that quickly dissolved as my bottom lip pushed between hers and I pulled gently on her upper lip, tasting her, breathing her in.
She sighed into me, and I turned my head, pushing against her harder, coaxing the blood to rush to the sensitive nerve endings of my lips. They tingled in pleasure. When our tongues touched, I shivered. Her tongue ran along my bottom lip, and then I entered, softly probing, scraping against her teeth, and then-
There are lines.
So, these lines... are they imaginary, or do I need to get you a marker?
I cupped her cheek, marveling at the smoothness of her skin while still sampling her, stroking the roof of her mouth.
I was home.
There was someone, waiting for me... pulling me out from the depths of the tsunami.
She was my home.
We didn't move from that spot in the foyer, we were oblivious. Meredith's arms draped over my shoulders, and I ran my hands along her back. It felt so natural, like we'd done it thousands of times.
I heard the slam of a door but didn't care.
I heard the sound of footsteps down the stairs, but didn't care.
Until...
"Dad!"
"Dad?"
Dad?
xxx
November 21 2037 North Cove, Derek.
My truck was parked in front of the bar. I'd been here in North Cove for months now looking for answers, but finding nothing substantial. I'd given up in Vancouver, nobody would tell me anything. So I took my houseboat and traveled here, to this God forsaken town.
It was late and I was tired. I dug through the junk in my truck for my phone, and when I popped open the glove compartment, something fell out.
A picture.
A picture of my sailboat, I remembered Benny took this. Two women looked over my boat, their backs to me. My fingers trembled as I recognized the figures there. It was Meredith and Cristina. The women looking at my sailboat... It was them. I flipped the picture over. On the back, Benny had written all the details of the day, down to the temperature. But I didn't care about that, it was the date.
June 16th 2034
June 16th, the day of the tsunami nine years ago. June 16th, the day I met Meredith on the road. I stumbled out of the truck. Was I really that close? Did I really just miss her? I scrubbed my bearded face. I needed to think... I needed a drink.
I think you need to consider the possiblity... that someone has lost you too.
Every town, no matter how small, has three things. A church, a store, and a bar. I made my way to the bar. "Double scotch," I said. "The good stuff." the bartender nodded and a glass appeared before me, full of Amber liquid. I stared at it, lost in thought...
I had to find her, Meredith. But she completely baffled me.
"Where have you been? I've been waiting and waiting for you, and you never showed up!" In one moment, it was like she recognized me, but in the other...
"You remind me of my husband... But you're not him, it's impossible."
"Are you real?" she'd asked. And then... "This feels like a very weird dream."
"No don't go- I just got you back," she said...
The way her hand gripped my forearm, the way she demanded me to kiss her. That kiss...
But then, she pushed me away- she didn't know who I was-
"Stay away from me! I can't- I can't breathe! I want my husband! Where is he?"
When she looked up at me that last time, she regarded me as a stranger, as a threat. She'd recoiled, "Who the hell are you? Don't touch me! Let go of me! Leave me alone!"
What the hell happened?
"Another please," I said to the bartender. He nodded, and my glass filled again. Doubt creeped up in me. Did she really know me, or was she just really messed up? But if so... why was she discharged so early?
And then my doubt turned to anger. I gripped the glass so hard I thought it would crack. My hand shook. Why did I leave? I pulled the picture out and stared at it again. What was the connection? What was our connection?
I just missed her... again! I had her and I lost her!
The bar blurred and buzzed around me as I slammed back another drink. And another. I was my own worst enemy wasn't I? "Ugh," I mumbled as I pushed myself from the counter.
"Hey," the bartender called. "Your keys... you'll have to leave 'em here."
"Whatever." I dug around in my pockets and dropped my truck keys and a wad of bills on top of the picture in front of him.
No matter what I do...
I fail her. Over and over and over again.
"Hey, man! You left your picture!"
"Whatever," I said as I stumbled out. The night air was cool and crisp, and I shivered. In the back of my truck was a pillow and blanket for these kind of times. I pushed the seat back, reclined it, tucked the pillow under my head and draped the blanket over me.
I closed my eyes.
"Hey, I missed you," My subconscious said. We were standing on a bridge... a catwalk of sorts. On one side, I looked out to a beautiful mountain and a flag flapping in the wind. The sun, peeking out in the corner, lit the sky up like fire.
It had been a long time since I seen her. I'd started to give up on this Meredith woman, and dreams of her were farther and farther apart. But here now, I felt... safe. Like this was my home. My sanctuary. "Hmm," I sighed.
"Look familiar?"
"Yeah..." I said, looking around. I smiled down at her, but she looked scared. "What is it?" I asked, suddenly worried. Her hand reached out and touched my chest, tracing a line between my pectorals. I took it in my own. "What?" I asked again.
Her expession was suddenly sad, "I'm sorry..." she said. Her gaze flitted out to the towering window. "You think you're safe, but you're not. You think there'll be a happy ever after... and then..."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, but then she was gone. I was alone on the catwalk. I looked left. Looked right. Nothing. A flicker of movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention, and a man stood in front of me. I blinked, in one second I was staring at a stranger, and in another...myself.
Morbidly, I watched myself raise my arm and I gasped, my arms flew up in defence, because the other me was holding a gun...
BANG!
Bang bang bang! I jolted awake, confused and hung over. Bang bang bang! Someone was pounding on my window. I turned to see who it was, but came face to face with the nozzle of a gun. "Wha-?"
"Get outta the truck! Get outta the truck!"
It isn't safe here.
My pulse pounded, I couldn't breathe. Adreneline rushed through me. I realized I didn't have my keys or else I would've tried to drive away. Bang ba-crash! The window shattered, glass erupted around me. "I don't have my keys," I managed to say before a thick hand reached in and unlocked the door.
"You don't have your fucking keys?" the man growled at me, he looked behind him, like he was running from someone. I took a chance and pushed the door open, hard, knocking him off balance. He stumbled but remained standing. "Motherfucker!" Suddenly the gun was in my face again. Frozen, I held up my hands weakly.
You're not the man here. I'm the man.
I'm the man. And a man looks after his wife.
But I didn't.
"Please..." I begged.
Look me in the eye.
I'm a human being. I'm flawed.
We all are.
"Please..." I whispered. How had it come to this? "Just...I-" All I saw was a blur of movement and then excruciating pain in my temple before darkness overtook me.
xxx
"Dad!"
I stared up at a familiar blue-eyed face. Behind her a wall of water raced toward us. I saw her strain, and realized she was holding me. Her tiny frame could not hold me though, gravity made sure of that.
Although her fingers gripped me tightly. I wasn't enough, she was going to fall. I would take her down with me.
"Ellis! You have to-" I yelled. She had to let me go. She had to... my heart leaped as I looked at the churning water below me. I looked at her pleading expression again, her hand was slipping from the rail. But she wouldn't let me go.
I gripped something sharp in my pocket. "Tell them I love them and I'm sorry," I managed to say before I stabbed her hand.
"Dad!" she shrieked.
And I was falling, falling, falling...
There was blood on my chest. Why was I bleeding... I thought there was a tsunami? I should be drowning.
I saw red.
I felt warm sticky syrup on my fingers. Burbling up from my chest... Intense pain caused me to gasp.
"Do not die! Do you understand? I can't live without you! I pick you. I choose you."
Mereidith is there, hovering over me, her hands on top of mine, holding my broken heart together.
"Stay awake! You stay awake! Derek!"
xxx
Nanaimo, November 22 2037 Derek
I blinked... The world was a fuzzy blue, grey green place with lights that were too bright.
"Sir?"
I heard the scuffle of feet, the rustle of blankets, other noises that would make sense if I opened my eyes, but... it just hurt too much. My head throbbed, whoosh-whoosh-whoosh, in time with my heartbeat.
"Ohh," I moaned, blinking again. An oval shape moved over me, a face. I squinted to try and make out the details, but it didn't work.
"Sir?"
I responded by letting out a long sigh...
"Can you tell me your name?"
"Der..." I managed to say, before my lips stopped cooperating.
"Do you know what happened to you?"
A big wave. A tidal wave... crashing over me, enveloping me... rolling twisting under the water, trying to breathe, can't breathe... Ellis... Ellis holding onto me... begging...
Or was it a gun?
Motherfucker!
"Dunno..." I said, shifting in the bed. I was in a bed... I was in a bed and it smelled like... antiseptic. But it felt comfortable, safe.
"Do you know where you are?"
"Hos- Hospital..." I managed to say, swallowing. Goosebumps traveled up my spine and I shivered. More rustling, and then I felt a heaviness cover my body, a blanket. I clutched the woolen edge. "What... what happened?" How did I get here?
"You were attacked and suffered a concussion. We're keeping you for observation. You've been in and out of consciousness for several hours."
Several hours? Why didn't I remember? I felt so tired, and then I was pulled under again...
xxx
"Chris? Oh God... Chris..."
"Hmm?" I moaned. The voice was familiar, Lynn? Warm pressure wrapped around my hand and I opened my eyes to see my friend. Tears rimmed her eyes as she tried to comfort me. Squeezing her hand, I murmured, "I'm okay."
"I can't believe... who... who would do such a thing? Who would hurt you?"
Oh right. I'd been attacked. I didn't really remember much except a gun in my face, and a loud angry voice.
Get outta the truck! Get outta the truck!
Give me your watch!
I blinked and sighed, thankful that she was here, that I wasn't alone. My throbbing headache was gone and I suspected it was more to do with the medication I was on than anything else. I didn't have an answer to her question, except that bad things happened to good people, to bad people... It didn't matter. Stuff happened. I should know.
"The police are on their way. They want to take a statement."
"Oh," I said. Wait, which hospital was I in? "I'm at Naniamo?" I asked.
"Yeah," she replied. Lynn pulled up a chair and sat down "How's... your baby?" I asked. It thrilled me that there was a mini-Chris out there, even if that wasn't my real name. Chris was a name I chose for myself. Chris was who I was now.
"He's beautiful. He sleeps, eats, cries and poops. He's perfect."
"Mm," I said, trying to smile.
"I'll bring him by later."
"That would be nice."
My eyelids were heavy, my head was a bloated water balloon. I didn't know what more to say, so I just lay there.
"Hey," Lynn said, and I turned my head to her. "Did you find her?"
Who the hell are you? Let go of me! Leave me alone! Her last words echoed in my ears. "I don't.. I don't know..."
"You don't know?" Lynn asked.
"She doesn't know who I am..." I said. I shook my head. "I think... I think I just look like her husband or something..."
"But that kiss..." Lynn said, leaning forward. "I saw you guys kiss and it was like... Wow!"
"I felt something when I kissed her," I admitted. "I think... I think I remembered something... but..." I shook my head.
But Derek... I love you...
"But?" Lynn questioned.
"I... don't know." I couldn't trust myself. What if my brain was just making stuff up? But my heart tugged and tore a crack in the thick wall I'd been building around it. "I had her... I had her and I lost her..."
Lynn swallowed and squeezed my hand. I huffed. I just felt so... angry with myself for giving up so easy, for letting my doubts consume me... "Lynn, I gave up, and now she's gone." I stared at the bland ceiling. How could I be so stupid?
"Chris, look at me." Lynn said sharply.
My head jerked over to her. I'd never heard her speak like that before. "You can't give up. Not now... You are so stupid sometimes."
"What?"
"You... God! What if she's the love of your life? What if she's been looking for the love of her life and she's given up? What if you have a family and a life you never imagined?"
I narrowed my eyes at her. "And what if I don't?" I practially shouted.
"So?"
So? So? How dare she say that to me? "So I find her and she... I'm not any of that, What if I don't have that? I can't..."
"No, you have to. You have to Chris. You literally have nothing to lose. If you go after her... if you find her and she's not... what you've been missing, then you haven't lost anything to begin with. But if you find her... If you find her and she's everything?" Lynn stopped and shook her head. "Stop hiding your pain, Chris. Stop avoiding. It's time to get your heart out of that vault. You only live once."
"But..." I sputtered, but it was useless, I had nothing to say to that. Nothing. I had been running emotionally away. I thought I'd made peace with what Sarah did to me... but what I was really doing was hiding. "Oh..." I sighed, my fingers curling around the blanket.
"I'll be right back," Lynn said, getting up suddenly. I remained still in my bed, my mind and heart whirling.
I felt myself falling asleep, but was suddenly wakened by the cry of a baby. Blinking, I saw Lynn enter with Baby Christopher. "Hey," I said.
"Do you want to hold him?" She asked. "You should hold him, just for a minute."
Despite my headache, I pushed myself up as Lynn adjusted the bed. She carefully handed him over to me and I cradled him easily in my arms. He fussed and I cooed, settling him. "Hey now little guy, it's okay."
Something about staring into the eyes of a baby... seeing that soft sleepy expression. Holding fragility in your arms. A baby needs you. A baby will die without you. You are everything to him.
Staring at him, I realized I'd been fooling myself. I'd been trying to be 'safe.' Be 'sure.' But it was all lies. The truth was, I could get hurt at any moment, anytime, by anybody. Getting hit in the head with a gun by some random car-jacker was evidence enough of that.
If Lynn was right... Maybe everything was waiting for me. Maybe Meredith was everything. And if she wasn't? Then I'd cross that bridge when I came to it. But I'd live.
xxx
Nanaimo Derek November 23 2037
I stared at my unappetizing breakfast. Cold porridge, a fruit cup, in which the fruit looked a little too ripe, and stale coffee. Knowing I had to eat a little before I'd be discharged, I forced a few bites.
"Mr. Robertson?" A booming voice called, but I didn't look up. I slowly edged in one more spoonful of oatmeal.
"Michael?" The voice called, but it was in the background of my thoughts. "Sir!"
I jerked up suddenly, dropping my spoon into the oatmeal with a 'plop'. "Huh?"
A tall police officer stood in the doorway of my room. "I'm here to take a statement from you, about what happened." He said, flipping a notebook open. "I'm officer Mackinnon."
I pushed my breakfast away and nodded, "Ask away." Although I couldn't really remember much, I could try. I summed up the story, I was sleeping in my truck, hungover. I'd given my keys to the bartender the night before. And then... wham slam bam, basically.
"Do you remember what he looked like?"
I shook my head. A big loud angry face was all I remembered, and there was nothing distinguishing that stuck out to me...
"One more thing," the officer said. "The paramedics said they didn't find your wallet on you when they were called to the scene, so we don't have any official ID, but when I ran your name through the system, the only Michael Robertson we found in the Nanaimo area was listed as deceased. Any explanation for that?"
I was completely thrown off guard. "What?" I stammered.
"According to our files, you were declared dead in the Tsunami years ago." Mackinnon continued, squinting at me suspiciously.
"Am I under arrest?" I asked.
"Well... no,"
"Well," I said, glaring. "I am Michael Robertson. I don't know what your computer said, but it was a freaking tsunami that ripped through the entire western coastline. So I'm pretty sure mistakes were made." Lies. I was lying through my teeth, and I hated it, but it was a necessary evil.
"I understand," Mackinnon said slowly. "If you don't mind, as part of our investigation, I have to take some pictures."
"Fine," I huffed, as the officer took a few pictures. He gave me his card, "I'll be in touch."
xxx
December 2037 Derek. North Cove.
It was some time before I felt signifcantly well enough to actively search for Meredith. At first, I didn't know where to start... but then an idea occured to me. I picked up my phone, it'd been awhile since I talked to her... but if anyone could help me, she could.
"Chelsea," I said, when her voicemail picked up. "This is Chris, the mysterious amnesiac man. I need your help."
xxx
Derek. Vancouver General Hospital.
"You bribed the janitor?" I asked Chelsea as I adjusted my white labcoat and tried to look doctor-y. "How much?"
"Um, you don't want to know..." the redhead said as she pulled the stethoscope around my neck.
"That much?" I blurted. Chelsea said she needed money to help her with this utterly bizarre and insane plan she'd cooked up in the space of a couple days. Now I knew why she needed that much.
"Shut up okay? A janitor has a master key, that'll get us anywhere, and unfortunately, according to my sources, we can't just access it through any computer, unless I know the password, which I don't. I'm a reporter, not a hacker, and the hard copies of Meredith's chart would be stored for six months in the same unit she was admitted in."
"The ICU." I said. "You couldn't just bribe a nurse?"
"Nurses actually care about their patient's confidentiality. Besides, I'd have to bribe them a lot more, and then I wouldn't be able to get you the stethoscope to make you look professional."
"Oh." I said.
Chelsea pulled me into a trauma room. "Okay, remember how we rehearsed it. I'm the patient. You're the doctor transferring me to the ICU. Now, where are the hospital gowns?" We found one in a drawer. "Turn around," she hissed at me. I turned around and sighed as she changed. "I can't believe I'm doing this." she said.
"I can't believe I'm doing this. I feel like a teenager. What if we get caught?"
I could hear the smile in her voice, "We run like hell."
"Run like hell. Right."
"Okay, I'm done. Got your badge and the card?"
I felt for the hard plastic under my fingers in my coat pocket. "Got it. How's my hair?"
"Dreamy. For an old guy anyway." Chelsea hopped up on the gurney.
I smirked. Somehow that sounded about right. I covered her up with a thin blanket, taped an IV onto her wrist and hooked a Nasal cannulae under her nose. "Okay, ready?"
She closed her eyes and let her tongue hang out of her mouth, playing dead.
"Chelsea, you need to be alive for me to transfer you to the ICU," I said.
"I knew that," she said and slipped her tongue back in her mouth.
I shook my head as I pushed the gurney through the sleek hallways of the hospital. It was late, and people didn't seem to notice or care what we were doing. At least that was the hope.
Chelsea had given me directions to the file room. We couldn't just barge in. The ICU was a tight knit group. That's why she came up with the idea that we could pretend to admit her. All we had to do was get past the red doors and then... Well I didn't know quite what to do then. BS. Make a bunch of stuff up, then Chelsea would make a run for it, and in the chaos, I'd find the file room and Meredith's original admitance chart, that would give us her last name and possibly an address.
Then run like hell.
The ICU doors loomed before me. I cracked my neck, loosed my shoulders, adjusted my tie. I had nothing to lose. Not anymore. I pressed the buzzer.
"Yes?"
I shoved my fake id badge into the lens of the camera. "I'm Dr. Hovan. I'm transferring this patient to the ICU."
"Patient name?"
"Uh, Samantha Barnes." I said, giving Chelsea a fake name.
There was a long pause. "We don't have her on the list..."
I picked up the metal clipboard and waved it. "Look, it's busy down there," I said, "Maybe they forgot, can you just confirm her chart? She has a subarachnoid aneurysm".
"Um... alright, one moment Dr. Hovan." I heard a click and a soft 'thud' as the door unlocked. I pushed the gurney in, and a couple nurses and orderlies came over. I glanced to my right. Down that hall, third door on the left was the file room.
"She's bleeding into her brain." I said arrogantly, trying to pass myself off as some know-it-all doctor. "She's not responding to any of our medication and she could sieze again any moment. I don't want to take anymore chances." Where did that come from? It sounded... so professional.
"Dr. Hovan," one of the nurses said, "You're a neurologist?"
"Even better, a neurosurgeon." I smirked, walking further into the ICU with the chart. "Now if you'll just look here, at her patient number-" I started.
Suddenly one of the nurses yelped. "Hey, what're you doing? she called behind me.
Chelsea was off like a shot, she'd ripped off her IV and nasal tube and ran down the hall to the left.
The nurses, always quick on their feet, followed after, ordering her to stop. I heard them calling for security. Slipping down the hall to the right, I walked to the file room I'd cased out earlier and swiped the janitor's card.
The file room. The good news? It was all organised by date of admittance. I ran a finger through the months... April, May... June. I pulled the file out, flipped through the papers until I started to see the date of the 16th. And right under my finger was the name Meredith.
Meredith E. Grey.
My fingers trembled and inhaled sharply, my eyes watering. It was her. I folded the papers in half and shoved them in my pocket.
Now to run like hell. I poked my head out the door. The nurses had gone right, but ultimately the unit was 'C' shaped, so if Chelsea managed to stay ahead of them, we would meet up... there she was, running toward me, gown flapping. No one was behind her. I grabbed her elbow. "Where do we go now? I asked. The front entrance wasn't optional, they'd locked it down.
"Crap," she gasped. "Uh..." She peered left, then right. "The service elevator! That way!" I followed her back the way she came from before she dashed to the right. In front of us was an elevator. Behind us... two angry nurses, an orderly, and a security guard.
I swiped the janitor's card and jabbed the button several times. The door opened, we clambered in and I pressed the close button.
"Oh... what a rush..." I said as I felt the adreneline pumping through me... "It's like... we had a plan, we were in control but then-" I glanced at my partner in crime, "There's this moment where you don't know if you're actually gonna make it and then- Chelsea?" She wasn't listening, she was staring into space. I grabbed her shoulder, looked her in the eye. "Chelsea?"
"I feel dizzy," she said. "Theypokedmewithsomething," she slurred before falling into me.
xxx
I wasn't sure how I did it, but I managed to get us home without any further incident. Home being Chelsea's cramped basement suite. She'd been barely conscious, but I was sure it would only be a couple hours before the sedative wore off.
I plunked Chelsea on the couch, propped her up with a pillow and covered her with a blanket before pulling the papers out of my pocket. Meredith's chart. I couldn't believe I was doing this. Patient charts were extremely confidential. Patients hardly saw them. And now I... a stranger or a knight in shining armour was looking at her chart.
My hands shook so hard I nearly dropped the papers. I closed my eyes and put them down... I couldn't read it. It felt like I was violating this woman. Chelsea's laptop rested on the kitchen table... another idea came to mind.
I googled 'Meredith Grey.'
She'd written a book about Alzheimer's. She was a doctor in Seattle. But wait... what was this? A video on youtube? A documentary? Wait... she has Alzheimer's?
What the-?
I pressed play.
"Is this thing on?" Meredith's voice rang like a bell, and I was pulled into the screen. The gorgeous Seattle skyline enchanted me, as did her eyes...
"I'm Meredith Grey, and I was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's a year and a half ago."
xxx
January 2038
Dad?
I was a dad. I was still getting used to the idea. I imagine it would take me awhile. I'd just met Ellis a few hours ago. I didn't even know how she found me, we hadn't had time to talk, I'd been so intent on getting to Meredith, that... well, that was Ellis' story to tell really.
It was Meredith who pulled back from me, gasping slightly, her lips deliciously pink and swollen. "Ellis?" she said looking behind me.
I looked up the stairs. The young man that stood there must be Bailey. My son. Derek Bailey Shepherd. And beside him, my beautiful adopted daughter Zola.
"Oh my God!" She gasped. "Dad?"
I looked at Meredith, then Zola, Bailey and finally Ellis, and I knew...
This was everything. This was it. This was home.
"Hi," I said.
A/N: Okay, I'm going to stop here... Oh man! This was the most difficult chapter to write ever! But thanks so much everybody, for your support! I feel like I know some of you. It's been a year since I first posted this and holy crap, I'm still writing!
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