Chapter Thirty-Five: Bless You
Greg shook himself away, shooting up to a sitting position. He felt the sweat dripping beneath his clothes. Realising he was in strange surroundings, he scrambled off the bed, stumbling over a discarded suit jacket on the floor to reach the light switch against the wall.
Nick heard the crash of furniture as Greg stumbled into the chest of draws, immediately waking up to see Greg sweating and panting by the far wall. "Hey, hey, what's wrong baby?" He scrambled off the bed to pull Greg's trembling body into his embrace. "Did you have another nightmare sweetie?" He whispered softly, smoothing his hands up and down Greg's sweat soaked clothes.
Greg nodded against Nick's shoulder, trying to slow his breathing. "Where are we?"
"Guest bedroom at the ranch. You fell asleep in the car, so my mom made up the guestroom for us." Nick softly kissed Greg on the forehead, feeling his panic breathing beginning to slow against his own chest.
"Are you okay baby?" Greg nodded, slowly beginning to relax in Nick's arms. "C'mon." He slowly guided their bodies back towards the bed, laying Greg down carefully then cuddling up behind him, pulling the covers around them again. He held Greg's body close to his own, placing a gentle kiss on the back of his neck.
Greg slowly dozed off again, feeling safer with Nick's arms securely wrapped around him.
Nick slowly awoke a few hours later. He stretched out, looking for his partner's warm body, but he was all alone. Nick reached for Greg's side, feeling the cold sheets, meaning he had been gone for a while. Since being with Greg he had never woken up alone, so it was a weird experience.
Nick showered and got dressed, wandering round the house to look for Greg. He arrived at the kitchen watching his mother rushing around to clean the kitchen of dirty dishes and things. "Hey Mama."
"Nicky! Good mornin' honey." She smiled warmly. "Would you like some breakfast? You slept later then everyone else, but I saved you some." She pulled open the grill presenting his favourite breakfast egg bake with a side of bacon and sausages. She set it down at the breakfast bar, handing him some cutlery.
"Have you seen Greg?" He asked, sitting down on the stool.
"I think he went to feed the horses, I gave him a couple of carrots."
"Did he eat?"
She thought about it then shook her head. "No, he said he wasn't hungry." Jillian continued to clean up round the kitchen, not noticing the concerned look on Nick's face. Nick knew from experience that after Greg had his usual nightmares, he forgot to take care of himself; like eating for example.
Nick quickly finished his breakfast then went to go find Greg outside. "Howdy." Nick smiled to his dad and brother.
"Nicky." Bill slapped his brother on the back giving him a warm smile. "Mornin' bro."
"Pancho, sleep well?"
"Yep." Nick nodded, looking over at Greg sat on the fence, stroking a horse he was too scared to go near the other day.
"You know Hunter's only ever taken a shine to you." His father smirked. "Now he loves Greg too." Nick nodded watching the oldest horse brushing up against Greg's extended hand. "Hunter hates me and Billy."
"True." Billy nodded, flinching as he remembered the pain of the horse bucking him off.
"He's kicked me hundreds of times." Nick's father added.
"Don't let Greg know he kicked you though." Nick smiled at him. "He'll never go near a horse again." The Judge and his brother watched Nick walking round the outside of the horse field towards Greg.
"Hey." Nick swung his leg over the fence to sit on it beside Greg.
"What's this one's name?" Greg asked, stroking the white nose of the black horse.
"Hunter. He's the oldest."
"How old?"
"Nineteen, nearly twenty. We don't ride him much anymore." Nick looked at Greg then back at the horse he was softly stroking.
"Think I should offer him a tic-tac?" Greg giggled as the horse breathed all over them. Nick nodded giving Greg a smile.
"I missed you this mornin'."
"Sorry, I went for a walk . . . Rusty followed me everywhere." He smiled, running his hand through the horse's long mane.
"You hungry Greg?" Greg shook his head without looking round at him. "Wonna go for a walk?"
"Sure." Greg swung his legs round, jumping off the fence. Nick joined him leading him in the right direction.
"C'mon Greg."
"You hicks, is walking all you do?" Greg panted, holding his sides as he trailed along behind Nick. "My legs are still stiff and my sides are aching."
"Is moanin' all you do?" Nick laughed back to him. Greg gave him an evil scowl, stopping to take a breathier.
"I can't walk any further."
"C'mon, gimme your hands." Nick stepped up onto a large boulder, reaching his hands down towards Greg. "C'mon." Nick smiled widely.
Greg took a few more steps forward, reaching up for his partners hands, being pulled up beside him onto the large boulder. Nick wrapped his arms around Greg's waist as they looked down at the lake below.
"Wow." Greg gasped in amazement. Nick smiled wider looking at the sparkle in Greg's eyes. "That's beautiful."
"Yep, I wanted to show it to you." He pulled Greg closer pressing the side of his head against Greg's, looking out at the lake across the way, with woods just beyond that.
"Where's the ranch?" Nick pointed past the woods, Greg was just able to make out the horses field, watching them running around in the morning sunshine. "We really walked all that way?"
"Yep. And you didn't stop moanin' once." Nick laughed, poking Greg in the ribs.
"You danced my feet off last night." Greg chuckled.
"Sorry baby."
"Don't be . . . I loved it." He winked at him. "So this is your favourite spot in the world, huh?"
"Yep, I used to sit right here when I was kid . . . it was my escape from the world. I used to sit here for hours . . . just thinkin'." Greg looked up into Nick's eyes, giving him a soft smile. "What?"
"Nothing," Greg grinned wider. "I was just imagining a little Nicky sitting right here. My escape from my mother was the linen closet, only place she never found me." Nick laughed shaking his head.
"You couldn't go outside?"
"She had bolts on all the doors, too high for me to reach, even if I stood on a chair. Even the windows had locks so I couldn't squeeze out of them." Nick widened his eyes looking down at him. "Yep, I felt like a prisoner in my own home sometimes. She eased up in my teens though."
"So you hid in the linen closet?"
"Only place she never looked." Greg grinned.
"Why weren't you allowed outside?"
"I was under adult supervision. She was worried about bugs or wild animals attacking me."
"Okay." Nick tried not to laugh. "Wonna sit down?" Nick sat down on a smooth surface of the boulder; Greg sat between his legs, resting his back against Nick's chest, with Nick's arms wrapped around his waist. "See Texas ain't so bad is it?"
"Not so bad." Greg agreed. "Think California's gonna be a disaster with both of our families?"
"As long as your mother behaves herself, it shouldn't be." Nick chuckled. "I'm not sure my dad could tolerate her hyperness."
"How do you tolerate mine?"
"Coz I love you." Nick rested his chin on Greg's shoulder, kissing the soft spot below his ear. "Now if you wanted to walk a little further, there's this tree swing not far along. Me and my dad put it up."
"How far exactly?" Greg grumbled.
"Not too far." Nick smiled. "We can sit here a little longer if you want."
"I wonna stay here forever with you." Nick kissed Greg's cheek, smiling as they looked around at the scenery. Greg leant back into Nick's embrace, feeling completely at peace with Nick's arms tightly around his body and his knees either side of him.
"Greg, what's the matter? You've been quiet all mornin', except for your moanin' that is." He chuckled slightly.
"Nothing."
"C'mon G, I know when somethin's up, if you want me to think its nothin' you have to do a better job at coverin' it up." He wrapped his arms tighter around Greg's body, softly kissing his neck again. "C'mon baby, talk to me."
"I wish they would stop. I just start getting better then they start up again."
"Your dreams?" Greg nodded. "It's been almost two years for me, but I still have nightmares. They do get easier Greg. You may not think it, but you are doin' better."
"I wish I could have a beer." Greg chuckled.
"You can if you want. But I don't think that will solve your problems." He smiled softly. "You wonna tell me about it?"
"It was just the usual . . . dragged from the car thing. Only this time I wasn't driving the Denali and there were kids in the back."
"Kids?"
"Think they were ours." Greg pulled his knees closer to his chest, looking down at the lake below. "I couldn't even protect our own kids."
"It's just a nightmare baby." He gently rocked Greg in his arms, softly kissing the back of his neck. "Have I told you how much I love you today?"
"Not yet."
"I love you so much Greg." He tickled Greg, softly sucking his neck making him giggle and squirm. He tilted Greg's head back to give him a passionate kiss, staring down into his eyes. "I really do love you baby."
"I love you too Nicky." He kissed him back with a wide smile on his face. "So how far away is this swing?"
"Not that far, you realise we have to walk all the way back eventually though."
"I won't moan, I swear." Greg smiled innocently.
"I'll hold you to it." He chuckled, climbing to his feet, taking Greg's hand in his.
"Oh, wait . . . I have a cramp."
"Not even two seconds and you're complainin'." Nick laughed.
"I have a cramp in my leg." Greg protested, leaning against Nick allowing the blood to rush back through his leg.
"You need to exercise more and eat right G." Nick chuckled.
"The cramp in my leg has nothing to do with what I eat." Greg scowled him. "It has to do with the big lummox sitting on me."
"Hey." Nick laughed poking him in the side. "Don't tease me Sanders."
"You teased me."
"I just said you need to exercise more and eat right. You're too skinny as it is and you skipped breakfast again."
Greg rolled his eyes, feeling his leg coming back to life. "I do eat right."
"Pot noodles aren't healthy for you and all that sugar you eat doesn't agree with you."
"Sorry Mr. Controlling." He said sarcastically.
"You teasin' me again?"
"Might be." Greg flashed a grin Nick's way. "So what I'm not as health conscious as you. Do you not like my body?"
"I looovve your body." He rasped, wrapping his hands around Greg's waist. "I just don't want you to waste away G. There's barely anythin' left of you as it is."
"I'll eat when we get back okay? Would you stop worrying?"
"Sorry." Nick sweetly kissed him then laced his fingers with Greg's continuing on down the path towards the swing.
"My feet hurt." Greg complained with a wide cheeky grin.
"Ugh Greg." He laughed, tickling him.
"I was kidding." Greg laughed, squirming away. "No Nicky." He giggled as Nick swept him off his feet into his arms, bridal style.
"I'm gonna have to carry you to shut you up." Nick smiled at him.
"You think that's gonna stop me? I can keep going all..." Nick cut him off, pressing his lips against Greg's. Nick softly broke the kiss, looking into Greg's eyes. "Well that's not gonna work forever." Greg chuckled.
"Doesn't bother me. I can kiss you all day if I have to."
"By all means, go ahead." Greg grinned wider, giggling as Nick joined their lips again.
"Here it is." Nick carefully lowered Greg to the grass, lacing his fingers with Greg's; leading him through the trees towards a swing sat overlooking the beautiful lake. "See." Nick pulled Greg closer showing him the engraved names in the bench.
"Pancho and Cisco?" Greg asked, examining it.
"Yeah, from the Cisco kid." He smiled, leading Greg towards a large tree. He jumped up to grab the rope, pulling it from the branch it was latched around.
"Now you want me to climb a rope?" Greg asked, folding his arms across his chest. Nick glared at him with a wide grin then climbed the rope himself, using the tree branches to climb up, disappearing into the canopy of leaves above. "You know I never made you do any of this stuff at my house. We just chilled out and relaxed!" Greg shouted up to him.
"Would you quit moanin' and get your sweet little ass up here!" Nick shouted down to him. Greg looked at the rope in front of him then reluctantly started to climb it.
"I'm not a climber Nick."
"It's easy, just give it go." Greg pulled himself up the rope, walking the tree with his legs. As he reached closer to the top a hand extended down to him, pulling him into a tree house; a very carefully crafted tree house, adult size; painted in a wildlife green colour, completely camouflaging it against the trees.
"You never said anything about a tree house." Greg gasped, stepping inside. The interior was even better, a single mattress sat against the far wall with posters and books everywhere, along with binoculars and fishing equipment. Everyone little adventurers dream house.
Nick sat down on the mattress, watching Greg looking round at everything. "It was a surprise. Me and my dad built it. No one else knows about it, except my nephew Xander, but he's sworn to secrecy."
"Xander . . . the one collecting bugs in those little jars?" Greg queried. Nick nodded watching as Greg picked up a photo of him and his dad in fishing gear. "I woulda loved to have more of a relationship with my dad then my mom."
"Cmere." Nick pulled Greg down onto the mattress, lying down with Greg in his arms. "I've never been in here with anyone else before . . . I was always alone."
"You'll never be alone again Nicky . . . unless you get sick of me."
"I'd never get sick of you baby. Even when you're moanin' I love you." He pulled Greg closer, feeling Greg's heartbeat against his own as he placed a soft kiss to Greg's forehead.
"I love you too." Greg leant up on his elbow to softly kiss Nick's lips. They both smiled into the kiss, running their hands down one another's sides. "So this didn't turn out how you expected, huh Nicky?"
"Nothin' like what I expected."
"Everyone's been so accepting and supportive. Except Vicki . . . she still looks at me funny."
"She's a hard core Christian. Don't take any notice of her. She said she's comin' to the weddin' though . . . I think she's just worried how the family will treat her if she doesn't accept me. Gwen and Kayla have already been bitin' her head off about it." Nick chuckled slightly.
"Do you think our mom's will get on?" Greg asked, circling his fingertips across Nick's arm round his waist.
"As long as your mother tones down the sex talk . . . I'm pretty sure they will." Nick smiled, pressing a kiss to Greg's forehead again, softly ruffling his hair. "And your Papa Olaf, I think your Nana and dad will get on with my parents. They seem more normal." He chuckled.
"My Nana only seems normal because she's getting senile and my dad is the most normal of us, even he feels out of place with us sometimes."
"Well with your dad bein' very liberal and my dad bein' extremely conservative . . . there's bound to be some buttin' heads. Don't worry about it baby, I'm sure it'll be fine and my Mama's been really excited about it."
"I hope so." Greg snuggled closer to Nick, listening to the sounds of the lake and the birds chirping around them.
"Tell me if you get hungry sweetie. I don't want you passin' out."
"Are you seriously gonna run all the way back to the house to get some food for me?" Greg asked with a wide grin.
"For you I'd do anythin'." He trailed his fingertips down the side of Greg's face, softly joining their lips for a sweet kiss. "You're my world."
"Hi Mama." Nick announced, startling his mother from the pictures she was holding in her hands. "Sorry."
"No, it's okay sweetheart." She smiled looking down at the photos of her baby in her hands. "Nicky, I'm so very sorry. Will you ever forgive me?"
"I already have." Nick stepped closer to see she was holding pictures of him as a child. "It's not your fault Mama."
"But I left you here with her. I didn't know her and I left her here alone with you. What kind of mother does that to her baby boy?"
"Mama, it's not your fault..."
"But it is! I was always so careful before. I checked their background, references and things. Why didn't I do it for her? You must have thought I was a monster."
"I didn't." Nick looked down at a spot on the carpet. "I never hated you Mama . . . I know it wasn't your fault . . . I never wanted to disappoint you."
Suddenly Nick's behaviour to always try and impress his father made sense.
"You thought you disappointed us? Oh baby, if anythin' it's us who's disappointed you. How could I do this to you?" She started to sob, clutching his baby pictures close to her chest. "How could I do this to you my baby boy?"
"Mama." Nick stepped closer, taking the sobbing woman into his arms. "It's not your fault." He whispered, clutching her close.
"But I knew somethin' was wrong, I should have picked up on it. You weren't the same after that..."
"I hid it well. I'm good at that."
She smiled slightly. "You shouldn't have had to hide it though baby."
"I know, I should have told you."
"This isn't your fault baby. Don't think that we'd love you less or be disappointed in you. We love you . . . so much. This is all my fault."
"Mama Stop! It's not your fault, don't blame yourself. You couldn't have known. I've seen this all the time on the job. It's not your fault, not at all. It's the babysitters. Put the blame where it belongs; don't let this eat away at you." Jillian sobbed harder against her baby boy's shoulder. They both held each other, softly swaying as they cried into each other's shoulders softly.
"Why aren't you with Greg?" She queried, wiping her eyes.
"I left him in the kitchen with Kayla. She's fixin' him a Stokes sized snack." He chuckled making her smile too.
"He's not used to the big meals, huh? He is very skinny."
"He's just not as well built as us Texans."
"I've seen girls with more meat on them then him." She chortled. "I'm so glad you found someone honey. Greg seems like a really great guy. I can't wait to meet his parents. Even though I don't get on with most of the in-laws . . . I'm sure I'll get on with Jean and..."
"Daniel." Nick finished for her. "I think you will. I'm worried about dad. Jean and Daniel are very liberal."
"I'll talk to him honey. You should go rescue Greg from Kayla; she'll talk his ears off." She chuckled, wiping her eyes with a tissue.
"Thanks Mama." He smiled, walking off to look for Greg.
Nick chuckled softly as he saw Greg in the library, blowing the dust off the thick books that have rarely ever been touched, let alone opened. "Figured I'd find you in a library." Nick smirked.
"Geeks don't feel at home unless they're in a big stuffy library." Greg giggled, blowing the dust off another book.
"Whatcha readin' then Einstein?" Nick leant over Greg's shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist. "The Shinnin'." Nick read off the front cover. "My dad used to read me that when I was a kid. You seen the film for it?"
"Nope . . . have you?"
"Yeah, I'm sure we have it somewhere."
"I noticed the Oliver Twist book looks a little battered." Greg pointed out.
"Yep, I think that's an all time favourite amongst the Stokes kids." He grinned. "Did you eat?"
"The snack you mean?" Greg chuckled. "Yes I ate the beef and turkey sandwiches, grapes, crackers and cheese, carrot sticks, doughnuts, cornbread, coleslaw, beetroots, tomatoes . . . I think there was something else too." Greg tried to think. "Oh, celery sticks and an avocado dip. Think I'm full for next Friday now." He smirked, patting his full belly.
"At least they're lookin' after you." Nick chuckled, wrapping his arms around him. "You ready to go to California tomorrow?"
"Are you?"
"I think it would be nice to hear your Papa O's jokes after all the emotional drainage here . . . And to get you away from all the ladies. Is one Stokes kid not good enough for yah?" He chuckled, tickling Greg slightly.
"I was just being friendly. Don't tell me you're jealous." Greg laughed.
"Yeah I'm a little jealous. People call me the ladies man back in Vegas; no one's ever seen you in action." He chuckled, poking Greg playfully in the ribs.
"Maybe your losing yah mojo there cowboy." He teased.
"Me? Losin' my mojo? Dream on sweetheart." Nick laughed. "I just don't feel the need to pretend to date women now. I have you now and I love you. I'm one hundred percent loyal and I always will be." Nick went to kiss him, but laughed as Greg pulled back to sneeze. "That's what books will do to yah." He chuckled.
"That's what mistreated books will do to me." Greg corrected with another sneeze.
"Bless you."
"No Bless you Nicky, none of this would be happening if you hadn't of kissed me that day."
"I'm glad I did." Nick kissed Greg this time, pulling him closer against his body. "Are you sleepy honey?" He asked as Greg yawned against his neck.
"A little. All that walking today."
"C'mon . . . we can sleep here again. No one will mind." Nick led Greg by the hand, off towards the guest bedroom again. He kicked his shoes off; helping Greg with his then eased their bodies onto the bed, spooning Greg from behind.
"You don't always have to fuss over me Nicky." Greg yawned, shifting slightly into a comfier position.
"I love fussin' over you." Nick spread his hands across Greg's chest, placing a kiss to his neck. "I love you baby." When he didn't get a response he saw Greg was already peacefully asleep. He looked so young and innocent when he slept. When Greg was awake he was always smiling and bouncing around like a hyper puppy. Nick could barely keep up with him. But while Greg was sleeping he was so quiet, peaceful and still.
Back home to the Sanders family
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