Inevitable pt. 36

Natalie stood at the entrance to her walkway, staring at the small, ranch-style house through new eyes. Everything was the same as yesterday. There was a rose bush at her side, and a perfect white, picket fence around the property. Her stoop was wet from the rain, and the screen door was slightly crooked and hanging on a loose hinge. Everything was the same as yesterday. Everything but her. She inched her way closer to the building, feeling her heartbeat increase with every slow step. He was in there. She knew he was in there. She had to go inside and end a way of life that had once been everything to her. She had to say goodbye to Chris and all of the dreams that came with him.

Her hand stretched out and twisted the cold knob of the front door, before she somehow managed to move her legs. She had a severe case of deja vu when she found a pair of brown eyes waiting for her on the couch. He looked tired, and very, very angry. She licked her lips. Her voice was gone. What was she supposed to say anyway?

Christian tore his gaze from her and looked around the room - their livingroom in their home. His heart thundered in his chest. "Are you going to tell me that you were working all night?" He looked at her again.

"No," she croaked, weakly. She stayed as she was, standing at her door with a tight grip on the metal handle. She was uncomfortable in her own house.

"So we're done with the lies then?" He sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. "It's McBain, isn't it?" He already knew that it was, but he wanted...no needed to hear her say it. The very least she could do was speak her betrayal aloud.

Natalie dropped her eyes for a moment, and then walked into the room and took a seat alongside of him. "Yes." She really wished that things could be different, but they couldn't. She couldn't. "I'm sorry, Christian."

He grinned, but there was no mirth in the expression. "You're sorry." He sat straighter and wrapped his fingers around a beer bottle that was staining the wooden coffee table with a water mark. "You're sorry," he said again, chuckling. He drank the liquid down and met her stare. "For what, Natalie? I'm curious. What exactly are you sorry for?" He leaned into the sofa with ease.

She frowned, blowing out a quick breath. "For hurting you."

"Uh! But not for fucking another man? Interesting." He stood suddenly and walked into the tiny adjoining kitchen. He grabbed another beer and drank deeply, slamming the empty onto the closest countertop.

Reluctantly, Natalie walked toward her husband and leaned against the doorframe. "Christian?" She watched him relax against the lip of the counter and stare. He was like a stranger to her now, and she knew that it was all her fault for that. "I never wanted to hurt you, not ever."

"I don't know what you want from me, Natalie? Am I supposed to be understanding and forgive you? Or maybe I'm supposed to go down to the police station and make nice with the son of a bitch who stole my wife?" He hated her, and he never thought he could be capable of that, not with her. "You know...that might work? We've got a lot in common. You've spread those legs of yours for both of us!"

"Stop it!" she snapped, feeling so many things at the moment - anger, sadness, pain. He was lashing out and she knew that was expected, but his hostility was something entirely new. She could feel his hatred very clearly. "Don't do this, please?"

"I'M NOT THE ONE WHO DID THIS!" he screamed, unable to keep his fury inside. "Was it worth it?" He closed the distance between them and stared down into her wide, familiar eyes. His hands clutched the wood of the doorframe tightly, turning his knuckles white from the pressure. "Was he everything you hoped for and more?" He could see her tears and it made him feel just a little bit better. His voice softened. "Tell me Natalie, because I really want to know. It must have been earth-shattering for you to throw away our marriage - our life?" He wanted to hurt her. "Come on, at least tell me that it was worth it? That whoring yourself out was a price worth paying?"

She moved away from him. She reminded herself that he was hurting and that she did that to him. She blinked and sank onto the couch, forcing herself to remember that she was the one who broke their vows. "This isn't you, Christian."

He joined her on the piece of furniture, and the sneer that contorted his face was ugly. "Well I am what you made me, Nat." He stared hard, unable to believe that he had ever promised to cherish her, to love her. He grabbed a manilla envelope from the smooth surface of the table and tossed it into her lap. He watched as she opened it and pulled out the 8x10 photographs that were inside. She didn't look surprised and she didn't look angry. He frowned. She looked weary.

"Where did you get these?"

"I found them waiting for me when I got up early this morning." He ran a palm over his face. "I didn't really need them to tell me what you were doing last night though. You didn't come home. You didn't call." He never knew her at all. "Why the hell are you here, Natalie? Shouldn't you be with your cop making X-rated films or something?"

Now she was pissed. "That's enough, Chris!"

"It's not even close to enough!" He felt like an idiot. His mind replayed the events at that dinner, over and over, and he couldn't believe that he never saw what seemed so obvious now. They had flirted right in front of him. They went to the damn bathroom together! His body was tense, burning under his anger. She was upset when McBain left with his wife for the evening, and then they came home and made love. His heart was working overtime from the memory. She couldn't get away fast enough, running to the bathroom afterword and no doubt thinking about her lover? He stared and grabbed the photos, holding one in particular into the air. "This is my favorite," he spat, keeping the image in front of her face. "We've never done this."

Her hand flew out and made contact with his cheek, before she even realized she was going to smack him. He was someone else right now, someone cruel, and she found herself hating him. Her own husband. "No more. Enough."

He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly shut it when he saw the look on her face.

"That's enough," she said again. "I am going to leave, Christian. I came here to tell you a few things, and then I'm going to walk out of that door for the last time." She took a much needed breath, digging inside for a little courage. "You, you're going to listen." He chuckled coldly, but didn't say a word. Instead he sat there, burning a hole in her with his angry stare, but he didn't interupt. She continued. "I want you to know that I AM sorry. For so many things. I wasn't looking to end our marriage, or our life together. I wasn't looking for John, and he wasn't looking for me. I think maybe I've been unhappy for awhile now, and that's not your fault. You've only ever been wonderful to me. You loved me when I thought no one could, and you taught me to trust. You have given me so much, and I don't think you'll ever really understand how much?" She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "We had plans for a life and a family. I know how badly you want that Chris, to have a baby." She was beginning to feel light headed, but she had to get this out. If nothing else, in the end, she owed it to him to be completely honest. "I've been apprehensive and now I know it's because we're not right, Christian. I'm not trying to be cruel but we were never right. I wanted us to be, and I know you did too, but..." She faultered for a moment, struggling to express all the feelings that were roiling around inside her heart. She looked directly at him. "I love him, Chris. So much. I pray that one day you can think about me and remember how great we were, but I can't be your wife anymore. This has to end, because...well, because we're the wrong dream." She released the pillow that had somehow ended up in her clutched fist.

He felt numb. "Wow. Nice speech. I bet you practiced it all the way over here, huh?" He ignored the frown that flashed across her face at his words. "You can try to absolve yourself of your sins all you want, Nat. It doesn't matter. You're an adulterer," he paused to refocus on the pictures again, "and aparently a whore?"

She stood then, realizing that there was no more point in being here. She needed to start her life over. She needed to find John. "I never would have believed that you could be so hateful?" She was done being his punching bag.

He stood too. "This is my house. I'll be keeping it." He grabbed the photos from the seat of the couch and shook them in his fist. "And look? I even have the pictures to get it for me!" He tossed the photos down. "You can get the hell out now!" His hands went to his hips. He watched her stare back at him defiantly, as though this was his fault, before she finally walked to the door.

"Goodbye, Christian." Natalie stepped outside, closing that part of her life off with the flick of a wrist. The door shut, and she finally allowed herself to breathe. Despite the ugly end to something beautiful, she felt better. It was finished, and that was what was right for the both of them. For all of us!

Her legs felt a little wobbly as she crossed the yard. She stopped at her rose bush for a second before bending over and heaving into the green leaves. Her stomach was rolling, along with her mind. Her marriage was over! She straightened and began to move again, ending up at her car. She thought of John, and wondered if he was telling Caitlyn goodbye? Was he? He refused to believe that she could be behind those damn pictures. He still loved his wife. She knew he did. Her heart was racing, beating in time to the adrenaline that pumped throughout her body. He loved his wife, and she had nowhere to go.

She pulled away from the curb and followed the strip of pavement, wondering where she would end up?

"Uh-huh. Alright, thanks." Bo looked up from his phone call to find Rex standing silently in the now open doorway. He waved the boy inside. "Okay. Get back to me." He hung up and linked his fingers, taking in a despondent looking young man.

"Did you know about them?" He sat across from the older man, praying that his answer would be no. He didn't think he could take it if Bo knew too.

"Not until a couple of hours ago. You?"

"Same." He felt himself relax. There was something about Bo Buchanan that made him calm. It was weird, but he liked the guy. He was very cool. "I'm not sure what to do with this?"

Bo stared at the piercing blue eyes that were watching him closely, silently begging him for something. "There's not much that can be done now. The damage was inflicted. Nat's just going to have to find a way to deal with it." He paused. "She'll be fine, you know that? She always lands on her feet."

"Yeah, but how can she be fine with McBain still sniffing around?" He stood suddenly, feeling his aggitation right back in place. "This is all his fault!"

"Balsom, sit." He waited for him to comply, and then continued to hold his stare. "This isn't John's fault."

Rex couldn't believe his ears? "What? How can you say that? He slept with Natalie, and now she has to deal with everyone in town knowing about it! Seeing it, Bo!"

He held up his hand. "Easy. Just listen to me for a minute." For a second, he thought the kid was going to tell him to go to hell and then take off. "Rex, I've spoken with both of them today and despite how angry I am I've had to accept a few things."

He didn't have to accept anything. "Am I supposed to guess?"

Bo frowned. "Natalie knew what she was doing? She isn't some soft-headed twit, and you know that! She flat out told me that they were having an affair, and that she was going to marry him."

"Marriage? She's already married!"

"Not for long. She went home to ask Christian for a divorce."

Rex sat in silence, not knowing what to do or say? He was in a bit of shock. A divorce? This thing with the cop was bigger than he realized if she was ending her marriage.

"I've also had the pleasure of listening to John tell me that he wasn't walking away from her, for me or anybody else." Bo's head hurt a little. "I think...I think they might actually be in love with one another?"

"Look, I don't give a damn about Christian or the fact that my sister is now an adulterer. If she cheated, then he probably deserved it. I have a problem with the fact that since your boy McBain hit town her life has steadily fallen apart, and now someone violated her Bo! It's definitely his fault."

Bo nodded. "Yeah, but it's hers too."

Rex leaned into the chair and glanced around the room. "So what? You're just suddenly okay with everything? With him?"

"No, Rex. I'm not okay with the fact that he snuck around with my niece. I probably won't be," he sat back too, "but I can't keep putting all the blame on John because it's not right."

He stared hard, not ready to give in just yet. "Anyone ever tell you that you're too soft?"

Bo smiled. "No. I'm usually the hard-ass." He watched a small grin spread over the boy's face. That was good. "Have you talked to Natalie since...everything?" Rex shook his head. "Well, maybe instead of blaming John you should do that? It's her life, Balsom. You should listen to what she has to say about it."

He stood, blowing out an irritated breath. He was irritated because he knew that the man was right. He needed to find Natalie. "Listen, thanks." He moved toward the door. "You know, for..."

"...I know," he interupted quickly. "Anytime, Balsom." He watched him leave, and then reclaimed his seat. He thought back, trying to take his own advice. He had to find a way to stop blaming McBain. He had to accept that it was their lives, and like it or not, they were determined to live it together. That was the reality that he was facing. He would concentrate on catching the bad guy, and the rest would work itself out.

John sat in his car, staring at the front doors of the hotel. He needed to go upstairs and tell his wife the truth, but he was having a hard time processing everything. Natalie believed that Caitlyn was the one to hurt them, to attack them. She believed that he was still in love with her, and that's why he wasn't going along with her theory. That wasn't why? He's spent five years of his life with that woman. It wasn't her, and she had refused to accept even the possibility that Christian was behind any of this. So is she actually divorcing him? he wondered, before shaking his head. It didn't matter. None of it did, only Caitlyn and coming clean with her about everything. He turned to open his door, jumping when he found a face smiling in on him brightly. He bit his lip, as well as the scream that almost snuck out, and climbed from his vehicle. "Hey, Roxy."

"How ya doin' handsome?" She took in the serious expression on his face, and the fact that he's been sitting in his car for the past ten minutes. "You have a fight with the Mrs.?"

He frowned slightly, but there was no point in denying it. "Not yet."

She chuckled and grabbed his strong arm, leading him into the building. "Hey, I've been there okay? You'll be fine."

"You think so?" he asked, moving slowly toward the staircase.

"Honey, I know so. Any woman with a working pair of eyeballs is going to forgive you for anything. Trust me." Then she winked at him and made her way to the counter.

He sighed and headed for his room. It was strange. The trip down the hallway felt as though he were walking The Gauntlet. He took a quick breath and stepped into his apartment. The door was unlocked. "Cait?" He stopped short, meeting the angry pair of eyes that were staring at him from across the room and waiting for him.

John was angry too. He slammed the door and walked up to the couch. "Why am I not surprised?"

"I was beginning to think that you were never going to get home, but then again, Natalie Buchanan is a beautiful woman."

"What do you want, Harrison? Where's Caitlyn?" He glanced from one large bodyguard to the other. "Boys," he greeted, flatly. He turned his attention back to the real threat in the room. "Well?"

Harrison stood from the chair that he was seated in, and reached for his coat. He flung it over his arm. "I'm here to tell you a few simple truths. One, my daughter is no longer your wife. The paperwork is already being filed, so don't bother protesting." He glared and took a step closer. "Two, she doesn't want anything from you, financially speaking of course," he laughed, "but we both know that's a joke anyway."

"Anything else?"

"She's gone, John. You'll have no contact with her at all, I promise you that. You're getting off lightly because she asked me not to hurt you."

He grinned. "Is that a threat? It sounded like one." John stepped closer too, squaring off with him. "Maybe I should arrest you?"

Harrison laughed again. "You know, I should actually thank you. I just wish you had proven me right years ago. Then a part of Caitlyn's life wouldn't be wasted." He could feel the anger pouring off of the young man, and he fed off of it. "You can blame me all you want John, but we both know that this is your fault. You found some whore to fill your bed, albeit a rich one. That's a surprise." He wanted to erase McBain from the face of the earth. "You broke my little girl's heart, and now you're going to suffer the consequences." He walked to the door. "Stay away from Caitlyn and I'll leave you alone."

John shook his head. "Still trying to be the saviour? The protector? That's fine, but I have some things to say to Caitlyn and you're not going to stop me from saying them."

Harrison grinned and left the room with his men in tow.

John walked into his bedroom and saw the dresser drawers opened and empty. She really was gone. He grabbed his phone and stared at it for a few minutes. He wanted to call Natalie, but something stopped him. First, he needed to finish what he started. He left the hotel room and hurried to his car. Caitlyn would be in Atlantic City and so that's where he was going. He had to see her and talk to her. He had too. Natalie would have to wait.