Title: The ARK Angels of DX in the Wrestling World War
Author: Kaykyaka
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the WWE and TNA characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.
Ratings: T
Characters: Shawn, Cameron and Cheyenne Michaels, Amy 'Lita' Dumas Michaels, Hunter Hurst Helmsley, LC Helmsley, Aurora Rose Helmsley, Chyna, Trish and Randy Orton, Melina and Johnny Hennigan, Jeff Jarrett, Vince McMahon, Stephanie McMahon, The Rock, The McCools, various WWE and TNA wrestlers.
Summary: On Monday October 29 2007 Vince McMahon declared war on DX by joining forces with Jeff Jarrett and TNA to launch a wrestling world war but the ARK Angels of DX want their daddies to focus on what's really at stake. NOTE: This story is written in reverse.
Chapter Thirty Three - Crossing the Line
Saturday December 1, Universal Studios, Orlando, FL at 9pm:
Matt Hardy and Christy Hemme clung to each other from the top of a huge oak tree just outside the entrance to Universal Studios while Jeff Hardy and Aurora sat down next to them, their faces glowing in the dark with fluorescent green face paint. The babysitter and the baby had just rescued Matt Hardy from a Main Event Mafia beat-down, Edge and MVP broke out into a fight and were still fending off the Mafia much to the distress of Gail Kim and Angelina Love. The Hardys didn't worry, they knew Edge and MVP were more than capable of holding their own; it was the Knockouts they were worried about as Christy, Angelina and Gail were sure to catch office heat for letting their WWE boyfriends into the IMPACT Zone.
"We're never gonna hear the end of this, I'll be spitting teeth for the rest of the week when ODB gets through with me. She's one of Vince's Hitmen now you know?" Christy told the Hardys.
"Man Jess used to be so cool to me, I never thought she'd go to the dark side," Matt Hardy said rubbing Christy's shoulders to keep her warm. Her teeth were chattering so he took off his hoodie and pulled it over their heads, Christy smiled into this eyes appreciating the warm loving care from Matt Hardy, "Is that better?"
"Much better," Christy said and the two lovebirds kissed from the tree top while Jeff looked on over the Universal Studios lot where IMPACT was taped every week waiting for Edge and MVP to run out with all body parts in tact.
"I'll be right back," he said to Christy and Matt before jumping down from the tree and flying back over to the IMPACT Zone with Aurora attached to his chest in her Rainbow Carrier. As they soared over the lot Jeff looked down and saw MVP beating the crap out of Scott Steiner with a garbage can while Edge Speared Kevin Nash, Booker T and Kurt Angle with Spear after Spear. Jeff admired them for their fighting spirit but he knew they couldn't fend off all of the TNA thugs for much longer so he decided to take matters into his supernatural hands. Over by the theme parks a water park ride known as The Storm was closed due to the wrestlers taking all the attention away from the Wet N' Wild attractions that usually had the tourists lining up for hours. That would soon change as Jeff Hardy became Aqua Libre and used his Heavenly water power to draw the water from the thrilling theme park ride and send it over to TNA trouble-makers who never saw it coming. MVP and Edge pointed to the sky and laughed as the Main Event Mafia tried to run from the ton of water that was about to rain down on them from above, while they ran over to Matt and Christy with Gail and Angelina the water washed the Main Event Mafia away and left them at the bottom of The Storm like turds that had just been flushed down the toilet.
"Ha-ha! Jeff you're the man!" Matt Hardy said as he and Christy applauded his brother's supernatural efforts along with the other Knockouts.
MVP and Edge were indifferent and they both stood nonchalant as Jeff Hardy flew down to them, "We've seen it all before and to be quite honest Jeffrey, the whole Aqua Libre thing is getting kinda old," Edge said.
"Really?" Jeff said rolling his eyes at the Hated R Superstar.
"Yeah, you need a new gimmick. Maybe you could bring Aurora to the ring and the two of you could fly around the arenas together," MVP said and he and Edge laughed as Aurora looked at Jeff wondering what the two strapping young bucks in front of her were laughing at.
"Ignore them Ro-Ro they're just jealous because your dad chose me to look after you while the wrestling world war is going on and not them. Hunter obviously wants to keep his daughter as close to greatness as possible while he and Shawn take care of business," Jeff bragged making his famous "crazy" eyes which looked psychedelic in the dark with the fluorescent green face paint.
Angelina, Gail and Christy laughed at Aurora who had obviously been spending way too much time with the Charismatic Enigma as she was making some "crazy" eyes of her own.
"I can't believe Hunter let you paint her face," Matt Hardy said.
"He didn't," Jeff said casually and Edge frowned.
"You didn't check with him before you put face paint on his 2 year-old girl?" he asked suspiciously.
"I call the shots when it comes to how I baby-sit Aurora, I know what she likes and what she doesn't like and right now she doesn't like either of you two and you know what that means don't you?" Jeff said to MVP and Edge who looked at each other then back at Jeff confused.
"What are you talking about Hardy?" Edge asked furrowing his brow and the air started to chill causing all the Knockouts to get under Matt Hardy's hoodie to stay warm.
"I know what it means - Hurricane!" MVP said as Aurora blew the former US Champion and the current World Champion out of Universal Orlando with one mighty blow. The Knockouts laughed and Matt Hardy smiled; having three beautiful Knockouts under his hoodie was not a bad way to spend a Saturday night.
"You really didn't run that past Hunter? Aren't you worried he might think your taking liberties with his little girl?" Matt asked his baby brother.
"Hey if he's got a problem with how me and Ro-Ro spend our time he can look after her himself, I ain't got no problem giving up my baby-sitting duties I've been looking after Aurora since this stupid war started," Jeff replied.
"Its not like you're doing it for free you're getting paid to look after her," Matt said but Jeff shrugged.
"So?" he said.
"So you have to make sure you don't do something that might rub her dad up the wrong way, like say, I don't know give her these!" Matt Hardy said pulling a half empty bag of Skittles out of Jeff's jacket pocket and Aurora got excited when she saw the shiny red packet.
"She likes them and they're not gonna hurt her they're just candy," Jeff said reaching for the half empty packet but Matt wouldn't give it back to him.
"Just because you're addicted to them don't make Aurora loose her baby teeth years ahead of time," Matt Hardy said but Jeff wouldn't listen and he chased his brother around the big oak tree until Aurora got dizzy, now her face was really green.
"Matt give me the bag and you won't get hurt," Jeff said but Matt responded by blowing a raspberry at Jeff, a gesture Aurora had learned from her mother when somebody wanted her to do something she didn't want to do. It wasn't hard to see the resemblance between Stephanie and Aurora now but Jeff Hardy was the only WWE Superstar who could go into detail on their genetic traits due to the amount of time he'd been spending in New York City with Stephanie and The McCools.
"I think the other Superstars are starting to get jealous," Matt said ducking from his brother's swinging fists.
"Jealous, are you serious? This baby-sitting gig is the worst thing ever I never get to see Ashley or hang out with my friends anymore, why would they be jealous of that?" Jeff asked grabbing at his brother's ankles but Matt jumped up into the oak tree and started to climb it like a puma.
"Because it looks like you're in the Kliq that's why, you know like Amy, Shelton and Randy. You're no longer a worker and your stock in the company is rising at an astronomical rate," Matt Hardy said and Jeff frowned.
"Who said that?" he asked.
"Edge, he's hella jealous dude," Matt said and Jeff rolled his eyes.
"Nobody says 'hella' anymore Matt and besides why am I not surprised Edge jealous of a Hardy Boy. Is it 2005 already? He should try listening to Stephanie McMahon go on and on about how cut up she is about this wrestling world war and how DX should pull out and her father never comes to see her and blah-blah-blah. What did MVP say I bet he's hella jealous too," Jeff said shaking his head at how his rivals didn't know just how much baby-sitting Aurora was taking out of him.
"Nobody says 'hella' anymore Jeff and MVP is not jealous of your close personal relationship with the boss's daughter, in fact I think he's impressed," Matt Hardy said and Jeff flew up to the top of the oak tree next to him leaving his jaw on the grass below in shock.
"MVP is happy for me? Aurora it looks like we've crossed over into Bizzaro World where everything except Edge is the opposite of what it used to be," Jeff said to the little Hurricane but Aurora just sucked on her fingers which were covered in sticky Skittle shell pieces.
"I'm serious dude he said it's a step up from where you were last year and he's glad you're finally realizing your place in the WWE," Matt Hardy said and Jeff Hardy frowned.
"My place, baby-sitting Aurora Rose Helmsley that's my place?" Jeff asked offended.
"That's not what he meant, at least I don't think that's what he meant its so hard to tell if Montell's talking out of his mouth or his ass its so easily to mix them up since the same thing tends to come oout of both of them," Matt said.
"I heard that!" MVP said from outside Universal Studios and Matt Hardy laughed.
"I'm gonna kick your ass at Survivor Series MVP, then you're the one that's gonna need baby-sitting!" Jeff Hardy yelled from the tree top over to MVP who had finally gotten out of the bush he and Edge had been blown into way down on the freeway and now the disgruntled heels were on the way back to the park to kick Jeff Hardy's butt.
"Baby-sitting?" MVP asked from behind the Universal Studios entrance and a security guard stopped them both before they could come in.
"I'm sorry sir I'm gonna need to see your entrance pass," he said and the SD wrestlers frowned then gave the security guard an arrogant smirk.
"Can you please get out of the way so we can go inside, we're too important to be standing out here in the cold talking to a guy who makes $6 dollars an hour when we could be in there kicking Jeff Hardy's ass for free," Edge said.
"Yeah!" MVP added.
"Nice contribution," Edge said.
"I know, it was better than you expected wasn't it? Story of my life Edge, I specialize in being better than everybody - even you," MVP said.
"I don't think I'll be doing that sir you're gonna have to kick Jeff Hardy's ass another time," the security guard replied.
"And why's that?" Edge asked stubbornly and the security guard pointed his baton to the sky where Jeff, Matt and Christy were all flying south to North Carolina via Aurora Airways.
"Would it be completely insane to go to Cameron, NC and kick Matt Hardy's ass for no reason other than the incredible satisfaction of just doing it?" MVP asked Edge.
"I can see the value in it but to be honest MVP I'd rather go home and make out with my hot TNA Knockout," Edge said.
"That's sounds like a much better way to spend a Saturday night," MVP agreed, "Gail, Angelina we're out here let's go before Red Lobster closes," he hollered at the two Knockouts who looked at each other unimpressed with MVP choice for dinner.
"Wanna go to the Hardyz and have BBQ buffalo wings instead?" Angelina asked her Knockout rival who nodded and the girls broke out in a "Hardy!" chant until the Charismatic Enigma turned around and picked them up, leaving their boyfriends with no choice but to forget about Red Lobster and go to Matt Hardy's house instead for an all night ass-kicking session with some BBQ buffalo wings for whoever was left standing by the end of the night and whatever issues they left unresolved would have to be dealt with at Survivor Series on Sunday night.