(Whistling Epona's Song) To do my disclaimer here, I have Malon, the sweet ranch girl who won't stop singing! Hit it, Malon!

Malon: (To the tune of Epona's Song) Lackofname…doesn't own…own Nintendo…no, she doesn't own…own Naruto…(Hums)

Thank you, Malon! I didn't know you could turn a disclaimer into a song! …Wait, that's a lie…I had a musical disclaimer before, too…oh well! Thanks to PTalim, AngelWing1138, Evil Fuzzy9, Blue Skittles and Cookies, and Gorion1928 – my first five reviewers, of course! And thanks again to BlooDy-MaY, for drawing me that picture – also thanks to The All-Seeing Sharingan and Kaikura…mostly, just because. I'm the author, so I can thank whoever I want.

Also, an apology to everyone who got depressed because of Kyuubi's poetry. It's entirely his fault, and not the Goddesses'.

I'm not sure if this link works, but it's a link to the picture BM drew me! Thanks again, BM! -http/ fanart. theotaku. com/ artist.php?id 346752 - be sure to check it out! Now, to the chapter!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A small, fire-red orb with wings flitted anxiously around the door, looking incredibly uncomfortable – a feat in itself, seeing as the fairy had no facial features. A blonde boy dressed in green kicked open a small treasure chest, Mirror shield strapped to his back, jaw firmly set as he fished the small key out of the chest. He tucked it away before going back out the door.

"What are we going to do?" the fairy wailed. "I can't go through the rest of the Temple like this!"

"I know that," the boy snapped. "Do you honestly think I want to stay like this? You have a boss battle coming up soon, twerp! Hell if I'm going to do it for you!"

"But, Kyuubi – slow down, dattebayo!" the fairy frantically beat his wings, trying to keep up with the quick, angry strides of the blonde. "Kyuubi! I don't know how to fly good!"

"Fly well, twerp," Kyuubi, in Naruto's body, snapped, scowling visibly.

"I can't, I just said that," Naruto, in Kyuubi's body – or lack thereof – sighed. Kyuubi flicked him, sending Naruto sprawling into a wall. A small smirk flickered over Kyuubi's smug features – or rather, Naruto's features.

"I was talking about your grammar, twerp," Kyuubi corrected. "Looks like being in my body doesn't do anything for your intelligence."

Naruto grumbled, picking himself up off the ground, flitting over to the kitsune-boy, who entered the next room. Kyuubi rifled through Naruto's kunai pouch, holding out the Mirror shield carelessly, letting the Beamos' beams bounce harmlessly off the shiny surface. Naruto blinked in surprise.

"I never would've thought to do that," he admitted. Kyuubi rolled his eyes.

"Well, duh," he snorted, taking out two bombs. "That's why I'm the guardian fairy and you're the dead last. At least, that's how it's supposed to be…" he sighed. "It doesn't look like we have much choice here, though. It could be worse. At least I'm smart, and with your body, it's not overly likely that I'll get it too badly hurt. Besides," he flinched. "I'd be the one to feel the pain."

"I stocked up on a lot of common fairies," Naruto said helpfully, watching the Beamos' explode in a quick blaze. Kyuubi aimed the Longshot at a wall Skulltula clinging to part of the bricks on the wall.

"Common fairies," Kyuubi snorted, killing the Skulltula and stepping to the side, letting it fall on the floor rather than on him. He then scrutinized the wall carefully through slitted eyes. The climbable sections of the wall moved like some kind of conveyer belt from side to side, with spikes lining the sides off the wall. In Kyuubi's mind, there wasn't a doubt that he could potentially get very, very hurt. The only comfort was the three stable sections at the bottom, middle, and top of the wall.

"Alright," Kyuubi spat once into each hand. "It's just like rock climbing. Too bad I never did that, either…"

"Should I help?" Naruto offered, buzzing around pointlessly, obviously not used to sitting back and watching. "What should I do?"

Kyuubi gave him a sidelong look. "You know, twerp, you really should learn to relax. So you aren't playing hero…it might be good for you to try out being the quirky sidekick."

"But…I feel helpless," Naruto bit his lip. "I should be helping you."

"Yeah, right," Kyuubi scoffed. "Why? I never help you."

"Yes, you do! You help me a lot!" Naruto insisted, watching as Kyuubi began to climb the first section of the wall. He held up a hand, poised to grab onto the next part when it slid by next. "You give me moral support, and advice. You save me from freaky rapist monsters…and you give me someone to talk to so that the dialogue doesn't come to a dead end."

Kyuubi blinked, pausing in mid-reach. "…I do all that?"

"Yeah!" Naruto nodded enthusiastically. "So, what can I do to help you?"

Kyuubi paused, stopping halfway between two platforms. He lingered for a moment too long, and he was thrown backwards from the sudden movement. He landed flat on his back on the floor below. He cracked one eye open, staring at Naruto, who flew down right by him. "Are you okay?" he asked in a small voice.

"I've decided what you can do to help," he said, voice hoarse. "Don't talk to me."

"Right," Naruto nodded, pretending to zip his lips shut. Kyuubi groaned, propping himself up on his hands and getting to his feet heavily. He exhaled, approaching the wall again.

"Wait," Naruto said suddenly. "I know I said I wouldn't talk, but I had an idea."

Kyuubi stopped and turned around. "What?" he said flatly. Naruto fidgeted, which looked extremely odd in his current fairy body.

"Uh, did you try using the Longshot to hook to the top?" he asked. "It's not organic material, like wood or anything, but it might work because the walls are really rough."

Kyuubi gave him a dull look. "Brilliant, twerp," he drawled, taking out the Longshot and casually pointing it at the top, unmoving section of the wall. "So you're saying I can bypass this entirely?"

Naruto looked uncomfortable. "It's worth trying, right?"

Kyuubi's finger tightened on the trigger, sending the hook flying. His eyes widened comically as he flew upwards, being brought up by the Longshot. He gripped the wall tightly, clinging on almost as if he couldn't believe it had worked.

"I can't believe that worked," he said in disbelief and awe.

"The author just said that," Naruto responded, before blinking. "This is really weird…I feel different."

"Those are your fairy powers," Kyuubi informed him. "It's the same type of thing that lets you use me as a phone. It looks like that makes you more observant, too. Take this human body," he said, pulling himself up over the ledge. "I feel almost like I can't see as well. It's harder to take a good look around…the only plus side to it is the ability to wield big weapons."

"Huh," Naruto said thoughtfully, studying himself closely in the Mirror shield. Kyuubi moved it away, looking disapproving.

"Come on," he chastised. "We have to keep going. I'm not going to let you drag us down…especially since I'm the one who can do this now," he grinned triumphantly, pinching Naruto's wings. "Not only that, I can open doors now. Convenient, isn't it?"

"Slave driver," Naruto groused, struggling.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kyuubi lifted his thumb and finger, forming an 'L' shape as he peered through the bars critically. "Hmm…if I just pushed it a little more to the right, it would shine directly into the mirror."

"Kyuubi!" Naruto whined impatiently. "The light's bouncing off into the mirror already. You don't need to push it even more…! Let's just hurry up…"

Kyuubi scowled. "I'm the one with the body mass, so I think I should get to make the rules."

"You're being a perfectionist! There's no point in doing this! If I had been the one doing it, you would've complained ages ago that I was taking too long," Naruto pointed out. Kyuubi sighed, not bothering to deny it, before going back through the rooms back through the door into the original room, where are large circular mirror was now beaming light down onto the circular platform underneath it. A sun face was dormant against the wall.

Kyuubi jumped down carelessly, raising his shield as the living pots rose up, flying at him and shattering. Naruto jumped slightly, startled. Kyuubi smirked again.

"You realize that I'm the one everything's after now," he reminded his charge. "You don't have to freak out over anything anymore. It's my turn to play hero."

"Yeah…" Naruto gulped. "Still, it's instinct."

Kyuubi snorted, sending a beam of light into the sun face. It's eyes opened and it lit up, making the chains connected to the platform creak and begin to move. Kyuubi stiffened slightly at the movement, steadying himself as the platform began to lower. Naruto blinked, before yelping and swooping after him.

The platform stopped, hanging across from the sand goddess statue's face. Naruto dived too far; he began to fly back up, hitting his head on the bottom of the platform. Jerkily, he flew back up, landing on the platform and breathing heavily.

"This is…harder…than it…looks," he wheezed. Kyuubi plucked his charge off the platform, the added weight to one side nearly tipping it. He placed Naruto on top of his head, who lay there gratefully.

"I see why you do this so often," he commented. "My hat's pretty comfortable."

"I know," Kyuubi said. "Question is, what the hell do we do now? I could jump, but that would be suicide. I can't imagine you'd approve of me killing your body."

"No," Naruto said hastily. Kyuubi nodded slightly, not enough to make Naruto fall off. He knew firsthand how annoying that was, and seeing as Naruto was still having trouble with his wings, he wouldn't do something mean just yet.

"Then we're stuck here," Kyuubi sighed resignedly, sitting down and stretching out, keeping Naruto balanced on his head. "Wake me up if you think of something to try, will you?"

"You can't take a nap!" Naruto said, a note of panic in his voice. "I never did that!"

"Yeah? What about a couple of chapters ago? You took a nap and left me with that freak," Kyuubi said smugly. Naruto pounded his tiny fist against Kyuubi's head.

"That was one time! I don't normally just take a nap and let you do all the work," Naruto sounded hurt. Kyuubi opened one eye a sliver before bursting out laughing, sitting up so abruptly that Naruto sent sprawling onto the platform.

"Oh, Goddesses…oh, that hurts…too good…" Kyuubi wiped tears from his eyes, clutching his stomach. "Never makes me do…oh, Din…oh…that was good…ha…oh," he calmed himself to a giggle, covering his mouth to stifle them poorly. "Ah…thank you…I haven't laughed like that since I destroyed half of Konoha…"

Naruto pouted. "Hey! That's my village you're talking about!"

"Hey, I paid my dues," Kyuubi snapped at him. "I spent twelve years locked up in your hormone-deprived body. Come to think of it…" he frowned, poking his stomach with a grimace. "I'm stuck in here again…maybe I really should jump…after all, technically I'm immortal…"

"Kyuubi!" Naruto squeaked. "You wouldn't!"

Kyuubi sighed. "I suppose I wouldn't. Too risky…I have no idea whether I'd live through it. Still, have you come up with anything yet?"

Naruto's jaw dropped. "No," he said sulkily. "I've been busy being scared that you would jump off this platform or trying to stop you from taking a nap. I don't even see how you could take a nap, anyway, with this sunlight practically blinding us…"

Kyuubi froze. "Of course…that's something we've overlooked. The sun is shining down on us. Just let me check something…" he brought out the Dungeon map and compass, studying both carefully. Naruto blinked.

"You can use those?" he said quizzically. Kyuubi rolled his eyes and ignored him.

"Okay…so that means the Boss room is right through…" he pointed, "there." He looked up, following his finger and groaning slightly when he saw where it was directed. "Oh, man, not the face! Kyuubi likes the face…"

"What's going on? Did you figure out what to do?" Naruto urged. Kyuubi sighed dismally, looking forlorn. He drew out his shield, aiming the light at the statue's face. Fine grains of dust began to trickle down her nose, small rocks tumbling down her torso. Naruto stared in fascination, alternately looking between the sand goddess and Kyuubi.

Larger particles began to fall from her sculpted features, until her entire face was worn and crumbled. It almost seemed to implode as the last of it collapsed, littering the ground below with fine reddish sand and chunks of rock. Kyuubi put a hand over his heart, mock-sniffling a little.

"That hurt me more than it hurt you, honey," he said morosely. Naruto stared at the kitsune-boy.

"How did you know to do that?" he asked, visibly impressed.

"I didn't, twerp," Kyuubi snorted. "I guessed. New question is, how do we get over there…" he snapped his fingers, looking surprised and pleased at the loud sound it made. "Forgot how satisfying it was to do that…anyway, question is how do I get over there. The Hover boots won't get me there; it's too far away…"

"You could try the Longshot again," Naruto suggested. "It looks to me like it's in range."

"Crazy enough to work," Kyuubi shrugged, taking out the Longshot. He shot it at the set of crossed bars blocking the path to the Boss room door, and it hooked in, dragging him through the air into the sand goddess's face. Naruto struggled to stay airborne as he flitted behind him. Kyuubi yanked the bars loose, tossing them aside.

"Good thinking, twerp," he praised, tucking his charge into a bottle. "I think you should stay in there, though."

"Thanks," Naruto grinned. "Now I don't have to work so hard to stay in the air."

"I just thought you should now how it feels to be bottled," Kyuubi sneered. "It figures you'd be okay with it, though. You need some dignity, twerp. I hear it's on sale cheap in Termina."

"What's Termina?"

"Forget it," Kyuubi shook his head, unlocking the Boss room doors.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kyuubi narrowed his eyes, a fox-like grin on his face as he swaggered through the doors. On the floor, backs to the kitsune-boy and Naruto, were Sakon and Ukon.

"Looks like someone's here, Koume," Sakon chuckled.

"Looks like it, Kotake…" Ukon mimicked Sakon's dark chuckle.

"Bold little bastard, barging into our Temple like that…" Sakon commented, voice suddenly much more ominous.

"Especially after setting those two bastards on us seven years ago…" Ukon cracked his knuckles.

Sakon snickered. "Oh, we'll make them pay…loyal minion!" the two of them snapped their fingers in unison, disappearing in a brief flash of light. Taking their place was a tall, imposing Iron Knuckle, who raised it's arms threateningly only to find it didn't have an axe.

"Damn it, not again…" Ukon muttered off screen, grabbing a passing stagehand. "The AXE, you idiots!"

The Iron Knuckle waited patiently for a stagehand to rush on screen with an axe. Naruto looked desperately between Kyuubi and the Iron Knuckle. "Well?" he hissed. "Why aren't you doing anything?"

"I…don't know," Kyuubi answered honestly. "Something here is making my entire body scream out…it's like something inside me senses something…I don't want to fight."

"You don't want to WHAT?" Naruto's voice became shrill. "You have to! Kill it, Kyuubi! You would never let me get away with saying something like that and you know it!"

Kyuubi frowned, lowering his sword. "I don't understand it…but I don't think I can fight it…don't ask me to explain, because I don't know why!" Kyuubi took a step backwards as the Iron Knuckle took a step towards him, axe held out threateningly.

"Fine then!" Naruto said frantically, drawing Kyuubi's spork, secretly excited at the prospect of using such a powerful weapon. "I'll fight it!"

"Twerp!" Naruto looked back. Kyuubi had a lost expression on his face. "…Don't kill it. Just…defeat it, okay? Whatever you do, don't kill it."

Naruto nodded with a small smile before charging forward into battle. The Iron Knuckle roared, trying to bring it's axe down on the small orb. Naruto swerved easily, jabbing the Knuckle in the side with the spork. The monster howled in pain, moving away instinctively.

Kyuubi slapped his forehead. "Total and complete lack of style," he muttered. "The twerp's an amateur."

"Hi-ya!" Naruto yelled, rapping the Iron Knuckle's helmet with the utensil. The Iron Knuckle released the axe, trying to swat him away. Kyuubi sighed and leaned against a wall.

"Maybe I could try doing human stuff while I wait…" he pondered, bored. "What can humans do that fairies and demons can't…?" He smirked for a minute. "Other than the first few thoughts that entered my mind…"

Naruto sliced through part of the Knuckle's armour, making it whirl around angrily. Naruto flew out of range, and the Iron Knuckle went back to attempting to pull the axe out of the floor.

With surprisingly good aim, Naruto pelted the spork at the Iron Knuckle, sticking it directly in the top of the Knuckle's helmet.

"Hello? Is this Hyrule Bank?" Kyuubi was speaking into his cell phone. "I'd like to open up an account. Name, Naruto Uzumaki. Why yes, I am human…"

Naruto yelled as he flew in circles around the Iron Knuckle's head. "Uh, Kyuubi? I threw my…your spork at it and it got stuck! Help me!"

"Yeah…oh, I'll have to call you back to confirm. We'll do the lunch thing," Kyuubi said into the phone before snapping it shut. "You lost my spork?"

"You'll get it back!" Naruto said desperately. "I know you don't want to hurt it, but you have to fight! Help me, Kyuubi!"

"If I must," Kyuubi sighed, drawing the Biggoron sword. "Don't expect me to kill it, though. I don't know why yet, but I won't do it."

"That's fine," Naruto sighed. Kyuubi grinned mischievously and advanced.

"I've always wanted to do this thing for real," he said, shrugging his shoulders to ease the Biggoron sword comfortably into his hands. "Be honoured. You're kind of like my real first victim, you know?"

The Iron Knuckle raised the axe right up above it's head, and Kyuubi tossed the Biggoron sword aside, yelling, "BODY CHECK!" before slamming against the armoured monster, sending it sprawling, landing heavily on the floor. Pieces of the armour fell off with a clatter. Kyuubi dusted off his hands.

"It's a lot more satisfying when you have body mass…but damn, you're going to be feeling that tomorrow," he winced slightly, looking almost apologetically at his charge. Naruto flinched, partly in sympathy, but mostly feeling sorry for the pain he would be enduring later.

The Iron Knuckle on the ground lost the last of it's armour, and Kyuubi gasped in shock. "Holy sh -"

"Temari!" Naruto flew forward in surprise. "What the…what are you doing here?"

The female sand ninja groaned, clutching her head. "Ugh…where the hell am I…?"

Kyuubi pumped a fist in the air triumphantly. "Oh, yeah! Who was right, bitches? I am the MAN! I pretty much saved your life, honey," he then turned to Temari, leering suggestively. "You can show your appreciation now."

Sakon and Ukon appeared on either side of her, grimacing in disappointment. "Looks like she's back to normal, Kotake," Sakon sighed.

"You're Kotake," Ukon scowled.

"Oh. She's normal again, Koume," Sakon corrected. Ukon gave her a sidelong glance.

"She's just a little girl, but she's got power, Kotake…" Ukon said with a slight sneer.

"Maybe we should have her work for Lord Ganondorf a little longer, Koume…"

"Like I'd allow that," Temari muttered, grabbing Ukon's ankles and pulling is feet out from under him. He yelped and fell down, hitting his head against the floor.

"That little-! Screw the plan, I'm going to kill her!" Sakon restrained the other as Ukon struggled to get past his brother.

"Try it," Temari growled, wincing slightly in pain. "Ugh…it feels like I was hit in the head with a truck…"

Naruto and Kyuubi exchanged uncomfortable looks.

"Eat this, you little bitch!" Ukon shouted, and both witches sent spells at her, making her vanish. The two of them exchanged self-satisfied looks before snapping their fingers, disappearing in a colourful glow.

There was an awkward silence. Kyuubi coughed into his fist lightly. "So…"

"You know what you have to do," Naruto said in singsong. Kyuubi grimaced.

"It's as annoying as hell when you do that," he groaned. "Am I that irritating before a boss battle? That was rhetorical," he cut Naruto off snappishly before his charge could answer. "I don't want to do this."

"But you have to!" Naruto exclaimed. "You're the Hero of Time right now!"

"Technically, you're still the hero," Kyuubi snarled, flicking Naruto into the wall. "I'm still just a fairy who doesn't belong in this body, and I don't want to fight those damn witches!"

"Well then, what are you going to do?" Naruto asked reasonably, sitting up. "Just sit here and wait for the chapter to end?"

"It might work," Kyuubi said insistently, but Naruto cut him off.

"We both know things never work that way," he said, sounding almost stern. "One of us has to beat Sakon and Ukon, and there's no way I'll be able to like this."

Kyuubi sighed, punching the wall in defeat. "Fine," he muttered. "You owe me for this, though."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Look at that stupid kid," Ukon said incredulously. Kyuubi stood in the middle of the platform, filing his nails as Naruto bobbed pointlessly around his head.

"He must've come to offer himself to the Great Ganondorf…" Sakon chuckled. Both Naruto and Kyuubi looked stricken, and Kyuubi pointed his nail file threateningly.

"If you meant what I think you just meant…" he growled lowly. "You stay the hell away from the twe – from me!" He caught his slip-up just in time, and neither witch noticed.

"With my flame, I will burn him to the bone!" Ukon cried, materialising on a nearby platform with a fistful of flames.

"With my frost, I will freeze him to his soul!" Sakon appeared on the opposite side, ice crystals dancing around his fingers.

The two of them hopped onto their brooms and flew up, meeting in the middle and circling over Kyuubi's head, laughing. The words 'Sorceress Sisters: Twinrova' dashed across the bottom of the screen. Kyuubi snorted.

"No wonder you two are bitter," he said. "You've probably both had a bad case of mistaken gender-identity all your lives."

Sakon and Ukon's expressions froze. "Uh, did not!" Sakon finally denied.

"Whatever," Kyuubi said derisively, rolling to the side. "Twerp, stay close to me. I don't want to Z-Target these freaks by accident."

"What? Why?" Naruto inquired, worriedly, for the first time really experiencing a battle he had no part in.

"The shield absorbs magic and sends it back, but if I send fire back at fire, it cancels out," Kyuubi explained. "I have to hit the other 'sister' with the attack. You follow?"

"Not really…"

"Good thing I'm the one battling, then," Kyuubi crouched behind the shield just as Ukon sent a fiery blast at him. It bounced harmlessly off the shield, and Kyuubi forced the shield to aim the magic stream upwards to hit Sakon. Sakon shrieked in pain, listlessly hanging off his broom.

"I get it!" Naruto gasped. Kyuubi was already running over to the other side, to the blonde's chagrin. "Hey! Wait for me!"

Sakon aimed a beam of ice and wind at Kyuubi, who almost lazily bounced it back off the mirror shield. Ukon had unwisely been lurking beside his brother, and he shrieked and literally froze. Sakon looked mortified.

"I'm really sorry," he apologized as the ice dripped off a scowling Ukon. "It was the brat's fault. Take it out on him, Kotake!"

"You're Kotake, idiot!" Ukon snapped, flying over to the other side. Sakon slapped his forehead in realization, muttering names as a reminder.

Kyuubi stood between the two of them, whistling Twinrova's theme before pausing slightly. "Hey, does it strike anyone else as unfair that you two get your own theme, but the other bosses don't? I think Ganondorf's showing favouritism."

"Well, why shouldn't he?" Ukon snapped, sending a fire blast at Kyuubi.

"We're his surrogate mothers, after all!" Sakon chimed in, before being struck by Ukon's fire. "AAAAEIGH! Watch it!"

Kyuubi's expression was caught between incredulity and amusement, whereas Naruto just looked plainly disturbed. "So Ganondorf has two mommies?" Kyuubi snickered. "Two gender-confused, related 'mommies'…and we wonder what made him become a dark tyrant."

"You're sick!" Sakon shrieked.

"Let's take this up a notch, Koume," Ukon yelled. Sakon sneered.

"HA! You're Koume, I'm Kotake! Who's the idiot now?"

"You know what I meant! Let's get serious, Kotake!" Ukon yelled angrily, cheeks flushing slightly.

"Okay, Koume," Sakon shrugged, and the two of them began flying around each other at top speed. The two of them yelled, "Kotake and Koume's Double Dynamite Attack!"

Kyuubi and Naruto braced themselves, but nothing could prepare them for the horror that appeared before them. A twenty-foot tall, two headed Gerudo woman with large stuffed breasts, thick turquoise eye shadow, and faces sin would envy stood, hovering slightly, before them. She…or he…it waved two batons around, grinning maniacally. Both heads winked at Kyuubi, who attempted to pick his jaw up off the floor.

"I think I'm feeling nauseous," Kyuubi said faintly. "That is…that's just…so wrong…I don't feel…"

"Kyuubi? Kyuubi!" Naruto screeched, worried, as Kyuubi began to weave slightly on the spot.

"A disgrace to all of womankind," Kyuubi said, his face shining with tears. "It's so…I can't…" he collapsed, out cold. Naruto screamed.

"You…you bastards!" he shouted at the cackling Twinrova. "Look at what you've done!"

Sakon and Ukon laughed evilly. "Well, we weren't counting on taking the hero out," they said in creepy unison. "We were told this would put the guardian fairy out of commission…without you whispering instructions, we were told he'd be helpless! However, this works even better!"

Naruto began to panic. "What do I do…?" he whispered, looking down at the unconscious Kyuubi, lost. "Kyuubi…help…"

"Say goodbye to your so-called Hero of Time!" Sakon and Ukon cackled, raising both batons. Suddenly, a light burst through from nowhere…or, in actuality, from off screen. A stampede of people ran on screen, led by a girl in an elaborate costume.

"Get 'em, Princess!" some of the crowd yelled, and the girl proceeded to beat Sakon and Ukon over the head.

"This is for Nabooru for what you did to her in the game, courtesy of the NFC!" she yelled, soundly knocking them out cold. "Take this, you bitches!"

The NFC launched themselves at the flailing Twinrova, when suddenly a subordinate said, "Uh, Laura, that doesn't look like Twinrova…"

The leader stopped her assault, indicating to the others to stop as well. She stared at the sobbing Sakon and Ukon. "Oh," she said, crestfallen. "Sorry. Let's go back, guys."

Disappointed once again, the NFC skulked off screen, a few mutters of, "We'll get them next time," and "Do you think I could get an autograph, anyway?" running through the small crowd. Naruto blinked.

Sakon and Ukon separated, groaning in pain. "This is even worse than the wounds from seven years ago…" Sakon moaned.

"Forget them! This time, we'll really get serious, right Kotake?" Ukon demanded, sitting back up. Unbeknownst to him, a halo had appeared over his head. Sakon stared openly for a moment before Ukon noticed. "What?"

"Uh, Kotake, what's that above your head?" Sakon asked uneasily.

"I'm Koume!"

"Right, sorry. What's above your head, Koume?"

Ukon looked up, surprise on his face when he spotted the halo. "I don't know…" he pointed at the spot above Sakon's head in horror. "…But you have one too, Kotake!"

Sakon checked and began to fuss. "This can't be happening! I'm only four hundred years old!"

"And I'm only three hundred and eighty years old!" Ukon gasped. Sakon hit him.

"We're twins, moron! Don't lie about your age!" he shouted.

"You're just going senile!" Ukon yelled back.

"I'm senile? You're the one that got us killed, moron!"

"You must be senile, because this is your fault!" Ukon hollered.

"Moron!"

"Senile!"

"Idiot!"

"Bed-wetter!"

"YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T MENTION THAT!"

As the two of them began to fade away, they both screeched at Naruto and the unconscious Kyuubi, "WE'LL COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU, YOU BASTARDS!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kyuubi groaned slightly as he came to, rubbing his forehead. "Ugh…where are we…? Why do I feel heavy?"

He opened his eyes and stared at the fairy floating inches away from his face. Kyuubi blinked before yelping and scrambling backwards. "Damn it, twerp! Don't do that!"

"Sorry," Naruto apologized. "We're in the Chamber of the Sages."

"Oh…" Kyuubi blew a stray strand of hair out of his eyes. "So we're still like this, huh?"

"Yup," Naruto nodded. "I think it'll go away at the end of the chapter."

"I'm right here," Temari drawled with a sigh. "Feel free to carry on your conversation, though. Just ignore me."

Kyuubi leapt to his feet. "Ignore you? Never," he gave her a fox-like grin. Temari gave him an odd look.

"Are you feeling okay, Naruto?" she inquired.

"Not as good as I could make you fee – ow!" he glared at Naruto, who had nudged him painfully in the ribs.

"Whatever," Temari sighed, looking at them bas if they were both insane. "Thanks for freeing me from those witches' back there. They had me brainwashed and working for Ganondorf…it's kind of funny how I'm the Sage of Spirit after all that…"

Naruto blinked. "You're the Sage of Spirit?"

Temari's eyes widened and she looked incredibly disturbed. "I thought you were the smart one," she commented. "And the perverted one." She narrowed her eyes at Kyuubi, whose nose was bleeding as he stared at her chest.

"Anyway, rather than keep my promise from seven years ago, I'll give you this Medallion," she said, and an orange Medallion lowered from the ceiling. Kyuubi looked disappointed.

"I'd rather have you do something special for me," Kyuubi muttered sulkily, tucking the Medallion away. The screen began to fade into white, but not before Temari got in a last few words.

"If only I'd known you'd grow up to be so handsome," she sighed. "I should've kept my promise back then…"

Kyuubi's eyes bugged out. "Wait! It's not too late! The chapter isn't over yet, right? COME BACK!"

Naruto shook his head. "Oh, Kyuubi…"

Off screen, Shikamaru sighed. "I don't approve of this ending, but it's too troublesome to ask the director to change it."

"What, are you jealous?" Chouji asked between a mouthful of chips.

Shikamaru snorted. "Troublesome…"

"Well, I had my fun, but he still didn't cry," Din pouted, snapping her fingers and changing switching Naruto and Kyuubi into their normal bodies.

"This contest will never end at this rate…" Farore sighed.

Nayru giggled. "The chapter's over. Don't worry, sisters, I'm sure one of you will win soon enough…"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Blink) What an anticlimactic battle. Oh well! The important thing is, THE TEMPLES ARE FINISHED!

On a similar note, appearances next chapter from EVERYONE! Yes, that's right, everyone! Well…at least, practically everyone. However, it's not what you're all thinking…no, Naruto doesn't get the Light arrows next chapter. In a way, it's kind of a filler chapter…

But there is…the conclusion of the Goddesses' contest! Who will the winner be? Who? WHO, I SAY? …Well, we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?

Reviews go to Kyuubi's Tissue Fund – he's going to need something to dry his tears…