*Climbs out from behind the sofa* Is it safe? I hope so! Sorry everyone who was upset, as I've said to a few people, it just sort of happened. It's a good job I think I wasn't going to kill off the person who I had also considered!

Anyhow, here's the next chapter (sorry I left you all with that, I buggered off to Israel for 10 days - awesome place for History geeks like myself!) Hope you enjoy it and that it cheers some of you up (a little).

36

The silence that lay like a blanket over New Hope seemed almost unnatural. A crow, flying across the town, more intelligent than some of its cousins thanks to exposure to the Wildmage, held back its usual raucous cry. Below, it noticed the crowd that gathered in the open space just outside of the walls of the city, also strangely quiet. It shook its head in puzzlement at the scene, before soaring past the flag flying at half-mast.

Kel watched as the four men carefully lowered the coffin into the ground. She realised that everyone was staring at her, waiting for her to say something, to make a speech, a eulogy.

She remained silent.

It was Merric who finally spoke – as the Lord of the Fief it was technically his right. Fanche also said something, as did Gydo and Loey. Both girls were weeping at the loss of their dear friend. They held hands, their husbands standing to one side with their children.

The sight of them made Kel realise even more how much Tobe still had to do with his life. He had written, in a letter to her, how he was waiting until he was a little older to leave the Riders and settle down with a lady; maybe get a job working in the Palace with the horses. But that was later.

Later would never come for him now.

Kel felt Ella shift nervously at her side. The girl looked white and unsure of herself. On her other side Ro was wiping her eyes – Tobe had played with her when she was a little girl and taught her to ride.

The earth was being shovelled into the hole now and the local Mithran Priest started intoning a prayer. Kel couldn't listen to that. It was too final. So she turned and started to walk back to the town. No one stopped her. No one came after her. For that, she was grateful.

As Kel approached the gate of the town, she was hailed by a few riders coming up the road.

"Mindelan!"

She realised it was Neal with a sort of dull surprise. Somewhere in her sluggish brain, Kel remembered a message from him, saying he was coming north with some newly trained healers for the villages still ravaged by the war with Scanra.

His cheery smile, as he drew closer and reined in his horse, seemed almost obscene. "Are you my welcome party Lady Knight? Where…" He stopped as he noticed the expression on her face – or rather the lack of expression. Neal had always been able to see through her Yamani mask. "What's happened?" His eyes looked about, saw the crowd a little way off and then found the position of the flag.

Sheer panic washed over his face. "Who…not…"

Kel knew how his mind was working. "Ro's fine. She's over there with Owen, Ella and the others."

Neal huffed a sigh of relief. "Then who? Not Merric?"

"No." Kel felt more tired than she ever had in her life, it seemed. "It…" Her voice caught. She coughed to clear her throat.

Neal slithered off his horse and put his hands on her shoulders. "Kel?"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Tobe. It was Tobe."

The colour drained from Neal's face as he covered his mouth with a hand. "Oh Mithros no! How?"

"Spidren." Kel couldn't find the energy to elaborate.

Tears were starting to leak from Neal's eyes and she was almost envious of them. She hadn't been able to cry about it yet. He squeezed her upper arms fiercely. "What do you need Kel? Tell me what I can do to help you."

A wave of irrational anger washed over her. I needed you to be there earlier when he was hurt. I needed you to heal him. As soon as she thought it, Kel knew it was stupid. All the healers in Tortall couldn't have saved Tobe. The rage was replaced once more by tiredness. "I just want to be alone for a while. I have things I need to sort out. You should go and see Ro. She's pretty upset."

And before Neal could say anything else, she turned on her heel and walked into the town.

xxx

Ella lay back against her pillow with a sigh and stared at the ceiling. From next door came the bumps and clatters of Lady Keladry. Ella wasn't quite sure what she was doing – she had tentatively poked her head in earlier to find the woman had almost demolished the room. When Ella had quietly asked whether the knight needed any help, she was waved away with a "No, I'm just having a sort out of some of my stuff."

Ella wasn't quite sure what it was Lady Kel had to "sort out" but some sixth sense had told her not to press the matter and so she had made herself scarce.

It was early yet, but Ella didn't feel like eating supper or doing anything constructive. The last couple of days had been too strange and the funeral today had topped that off. Tomorrow, Ro would be departing with Sir Owen, leaving Ella alone with Lady Kel, who seemed to be having some sort of breakdown that was manifesting itself in organising things.

Oh, and Gerry of course. He was still here with Sir Merric. Ella grimaced at the idea she might have to make conversation with him. The events that had taken place since their confrontation had paled all of their problems into insignificance, but it didn't mean things were comfortable between them.

A knock at the door made her raise her head wearily from the pillow. "Who is it?"

"It's only me."

"Come in," said Ella, lifting herself up on her elbows as Ro opened the door. The girl said something to someone behind her and Ella heard the door to the next room being opened.

"Budge up," yawned Ro, flopping down on the bed next to Ella.

"How's your Pa?" asked Ella, knowing the two of them had been together since after the funeral.

"Ok, I guess. He's just gone next door to see Auntie Kel. He's more worried about her than anything else I think."

"She is acting a little…strangely…"supplied Ella, although for all she knew, this was how the woman normally grieved the loved ones she had lost.

"Papa says it's what comes of trying to hang on to Yamani values in such a different culture like Tortall. Auntie Kel spends so much time trying to control her emotions, sometimes she doesn't know what to do with herself when things like this happen." Ro turned on her side, so she could look Ella in the face. "I'm worried about her too. You will look after her once we've gone, won't you Ella?"

Ella wasn't sure how she was meant to 'look after' a grown woman and a trained knight, but she nodded all the same.

"Thanks." Ro rolled onto her back and shut her eyes. "I'm glad she's got you Ella."

xxx

As he pushed open the door, Neal tripped over Kel's glaive that had been slung on the floor.

"Are you all right?" Kel offered him a hand up. "Sorry, I should have warned you."

Neal allowed her to pull him to his feet. "No harm done," he lied, wincing as felt a bruise start to form on his knee. He glanced about at the carnage in the room. "Having a clear out?"

Kel nodded and resumed her position perched on the edge of the bed, sorting through her weapons polishing kit.

Moving aside her newly cleaned shield, Neal sat next to her. "We didn't see you at supper," he mentioned casually.

"I wasn't hungry," Kel muttered, her deft fingers inspecting the kit on her lap.

A warning bell rang in Neal's head as it always did when Kel was off her food. "Listen, Kel," he said, gently taking the kit out of her hands. He expected her to resist, but she let him do it and just stared at him. "You look tired. Can't you leave this until the morning?"

She gave him a look. "I'd rather do it now."

Neal knew why that was the case, but he didn't necessarily agree with her. Trying a new tack, he said quietly, "Tobe would have scolded you for not eating or getting enough sleep, you know."

A muscle twitched in her cheek and Kel looked at her hands. "I know," she whispered.

He put his arm around her shoulder. "It's not fair Kel. It's not fair and I wish there was something I could do to make it better. But I know I can't." He paused. "You were there for me when Yuki…I never thought that you needed me then. I almost forgot she was your friend as well as my wife and I relied on you so much that…but I'm here now. What can I do to help you?"

Kel shook her head. Neal could feel how tense her muscles were, how much she was physically holding herself together. "Why does everyone and everything I care for end up dying?" she said eventually in a small voice. "Yuki, Jump, Peachblossom, all those refugees we lost, gods even the sparrows are pretty much all gone, and now Tobe…"

Finally Neal felt her shoulders slump. Her hands went to cover her face.

"It's all right Kel," he said, gathering her into his arms as she shook against him. Resting his lips on the top of her head, he said into her hair, "It'll be all right. I promise."

xxx

"They've been in there a long time," commented Ella. The room was dark now; the sun had set a while ago.

"Papa did say he might be there a while," answered Ro. "He said not to wait for him." She stretched and yawned. "I should probably go to bed."

Ella was silent for a moment, before saying, "Ro? Could you stay?"

"Of course. What's up?"

Ella shrugged in the darkness. "I don't want to be on my own. I don't think I'll be able to sleep. Everything's too…weird."

"I know what you mean," answered Ro, settling back down again on the pillow. It was a good job Ella was small, because the little truckle bed didn't leave much room for the two of them.

After a moment of quiet, Ro ventured, "Ella? Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I wasn't going to say anything, what with what happened between you and Gerry and then all this business with…with Tobe…but…well…Cole and I have been writing to each other."

Ella's mind took a while to process this. The big redheaded squire hadn't been seen by any of them for a while; he had been off with his knight master, who was posted somewhere up north – not far from here in fact, Ella realised. His knight master was Conal of Mindelan, one of the Lady Knight's brothers and a very active knight in the field.

Cole wrote frequently though, to all of them, his letters full of exploits and his usual boisterous humour. So what did Ro mean when she said they'd been writing to each other, what did she…?

"Oh!" realisation dawned on Ella. "You've been writing to each other! How long has this been going on for?"

"A couple of months. He wrote me to congratulate me on becoming a squire and also to tell me…well apparently he's liked me for a while now."

"I see," Ella tried to work out whether there had been any signs when they were pages. She couldn't think of any. "And you?"

"I've liked him since we first met," Ro answered quietly.

"What?" Ella grabbed a cushion and biffed her best friend on the head with it. "Why haven't you ever said anything to me?"

"I don't know!" Ro held up her hands to ward off the onslaught of the cushion. "I just…I don't know, I was embarrassed!"

"Mithros!" Ella sank back down and shook her head. "There was me talking your ear off constantly about Gerry and then…does anyone else know?"

"I don't think so," came the sheepish reply.

"Goddess!" Ella blew out her cheeks. "When are you going to see him next?"

"Sir Owen mentioned we might be going up to near where they're posted. I'm going to try and see if I can subtly get him to stop off there." Ro paused, thinking. "Although subtlety isn't Sir Owen's strong point. I may need to bash him over the head, drag him there myself and pretend bandits did it. He'll probably believe that."

Ella laughed at the image, before falling silent once more in wonder. "Well…I'm pleased for you, I really am."

"Really?" Ro sounded relieved. "I wasn't sure whether to say anything, with everything that's happened, but I've been bursting to tell you!"

They chatted for a while longer, before falling silent once more. Ella stared into the darkness thinking. Before long, her brain reached an interesting conclusion.

"Ro?"

"Mmhmm," was the sleepy reply.

"I think your Pa is still in the room with Lady Keladry."

"Mmm…maybe he thought it best to stay with her tonight. It can't be easy for her."

"I know," replied Ella. "I just thought…is there anything between the two of them?"

Ella felt Ro shift next to her and her voice sounded more awake when she asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they're friends right?"

"Ye-es…"

"Have they ever been…more?"

Ella could feel Ro thinking furiously about this. "I…don't think so. No. No they haven't been. Papa was in love with Mama from an early age and Auntie Kel had an on-off thing with Cousin Dom for a while."

"Dom? Gerry's uncle? The one in the Own?" said Ella, surprised.

"Oh yes. It's a badly kept secret. I think it's more off now than on, to be honest. Oh and for a while, when they were younger, Auntie Kel was courting Cole's dad."

"No!" Ella sat up and looked at her friend in the extremely dim moonlight coming through the window.

"Yeah, while they were squires. Papa told me. But if he and Auntie Kel were ever an item, he never said. Not that he'd probably tell me that of course."

"Well," said Ella, laying back down again. She weighed up how to say the next thought that popped into her head. "Maybe they should be. An item I mean."

"What? Papa and Auntie Kel? What makes you say that?"

"Think about it," Ella was warming to her idea. "She's basically been your replacement mother for the last few years anyway. Her and your father are like…best friends – "

"We're best friends Ella, I'm not about to go and marry you, no offence…"

"Shut up, I'm being serious! How amazing would it be for them to get together?"

Ro was quiet for a bit. "Maybe…I don't think they would though. They've been friends for too long."

"Perhaps they just need a nudge in the right direction?" Ella suggested.

"Are you suggesting match-making my father with my gods-mother?" asked Ro, her voice incredulous. "How would we do that?"

"I haven't thought that far yet," said Ella dismissively. "But I think we could, if we put our minds to it."

"I'm leaving tomorrow," pointed out Ro. "And Papa's riding out the day after. I think Auntie Kel had planned to stay here a few more days, although she might have changed her mind after what happened…"

"Then we need a plan." Ella was pleased to have something cheerful to think about rather than the depressing events of the last couple of days. "Come on, let's get our thinking caps on!"

A/N Cackle! Will our hapless teenagers succeed with their matchmaking mission? Who knows? (No, seriously, because I have no idea what's going to happen yet!)