Chapter 36 - Camp Pining Hearts

The Ruby scare wasn't a great time, but what was worse was that it was decided that Jasper was going to stay in the barn, despite all of her efforts to make the underside of the porch seem significantly more appealing.

The real reason, Jasper later found, was that Steven was about to go on a trip to a place called Empire City, and he wasn't going to be around the beach house. Since Pearl was joining him, and since Garnet and Amethyst were going to be on at least one mission while they were gone, the group (spare Jasper and, likely, a certain blue gem) had decided it would be best for Jasper to stay in the barn with Peridot and Lapis Lazuli. It had become something of a mess in a short amount of time, and Jasper wasn't sure how she hadn't noticed it. Then again, she'd been paying much more attention to her own thoughts than to the environment around her, not including the people and gems.

Jasper knew she'd just have to accept her fate, whatever it was going to be. And so, for a weekend, she was staying in the barn with Peridot and Lapis Lazuli. She decided to keep to her own small area of the barn where all the cheesy puffs had been put, and attempt to keep to herself and not get in anyone's way. As much as many of the gems were beginning to accept her into their lives, Jasper was still extremely wary of Lapis Lazuli, even though it seemed like she slept for about 75% of the day. It wasn't easy to forget what had happened between them.

Since Lapis slept most the day, Jasper thought she could probably just eat and sleep the weekend away, or something like that.

Peridot had other plans.

"Pssst! Jasper!"

"Wake up!"

"…why…"

It was the middle of the first night there when Peridot decided to wake Jasper up.

"There is… this very cool show I want to show you!" Peridot answered.

Jasper sat up, rubbing her eyes, "Show what?"

"It's like… you know what a television is, right?"

"Yeah, we have better ones on Homeworld…" Jasper answered.

"It's something shown on that. Come on, the TV's in the truck!"

Jasper wasn't sure how the truck managed to stay lodged in place, but soon enough she and Peridot were seated in the back of a pickup truck looking at a somewhat small television screen as Peridot dug through a box labeled VCR tapes on one side by someone's handwriting and 'CPH' on another side in Peridot's handwriting.

"Aaaand… here it is!" Peridot said, holding up a VCR tape that said 'Camp Pining Hearts Season 1' on it.

"…Camp Pining Hearts? The heck is that?" Jasper asked.

"It's a television show about a bunch of humans in a summer camp split into colored teams and competing for points during the summer… there's a ton of interpersonal character relationships and it has a lot more depth than it seems, trust me."

"…You're going to make me watch this, aren't you," Jasper asked, and Peridot nodded, "All right… let's see what this is."

Camp Pining Hearts was what Jasper could recognize as something that could have a lot of depth if one really thought about it, but by itself was just a cheesy story about humans fighting over one another. There wasn't a point and the rewards for winning were essentially bragging rights, so what became more interesting was Peridot's ranting about the show. Jasper knew the show wasn't truly that deep, but Peridot had decided it was, and stubborn as she was, made it so.

They were about halfway through season 2 when Peridot finally finished explaining and showing examples of why Percy and Pierre would wreck the camp if they were to be together. Jasper couldn't help but scoff at that.

"All right," Jasper remarked, "So… they're good at the actual physical aspect of the competitions, but have you considered the other aspects?"

"What other aspects?" Peridot asked.

"Sure, most of the competitions are physical, like the three legged race and whatever… but you haven't taken bonus points into account," Jasper answered, "Sure, the victor gets 10 points for their team, but there are 5 point prizes for all sorts of things, including innovation."

"Who cares about the bonus points? Efficiency is how you win in that camp, and those two as a pair create the best and most efficient competing team. What's your point?" Peridot asked.

"Bonus points add up, remember," Jasper said, "Last season, the red team won the most competitions, but the blue team won overall for all the bonus point prizes they were able to get."

"…that's true," Peridot answered.

"So… while Percy and Pierre seem to be the most efficient, how about the team that seems to be the most innovative?" Jasper asked.

"That would be… hmm…" Peridot thought to herself, then turned to another box, "Hold on, I need to do some calculations…"

This resulted in them watching all of season one twice more before Peridot finally figured out what Jasper was trying to get her to figure out.

"Oh!" Peridot said, "So… while Percy and Pierre got the most 'efficiency' points, Pamela and Patricia scored highest in innovation! Those two were the reason the blue team actually won this season!"

"Yeah," Jasper remarked, "That."

She didn't think it needed to be all so scientific, but Peridot was the type of person who needed proof and facts over intuition.

"So… then which pair is the best overall?" Peridot asked to herself, but Jasper decided to chime in anyways.

"Both," Jasper remarked.

"Both?" Peridot asked, "How can it be both?"

"The teams aren't made of twos," Jasper answered, "They're made of six people. Blue team, Red team, Green team, and Yellow team all have six people. If a team had all four- Percy, Pierre, Pamela, and Patricia, and two other people who weren't negative contributors such as Paulette, that team would dominate the competition."

"Huh…" Peridot remarked, "I wonder how each camper marks up… which duo is best for what characteristic…"

"Sounds like you've got a lot of work to do," Jasper remarked.

"Yeah!" Peridot said, "Jeez, Lapis never asked questions to challenge my observations like this! I thought it was just an annoying habit of yours to question everything."

Jasper shrugged, "That's a way you can see it."

"Can you help me isolate the characteristics that contribute to victory in the competitions?" Peridot asked, "I think we can figure it out faster if we work together."

"It's not like I have anything else to do," Jasper remarked, "So yeah, sure."

Jasper had a feeling she had no clue what she was getting herself into.