Chapter 34: Everybody Sees the Secrets
PETER PAN'S POV
Peter Pan needed the Truest Believer, and he needed him as soon as possible. He could feel his magic, his life, slowly draining away, just like the tiny grains of the golden sand in the hourglass, trickling through his fingers. It wasn't so bad, he still had full control over the island and could take on anything with one arm tied behind his back—or maybe both, just to make the game more interesting—but it was still happening. Only he had seen and felt the signs of it. He intended to keep it that way.
Over the several months, he occasionally, he thought of the magic girl who had been in Neverland for a time, and kicked himself for not having used her for her most important purpose to him: her magic, her life. He was sure he could have lived off of it for quite a time longer. Not forever of course, but from her displays he was sure that the entirety of her magic could have given him at least another decade.
He wondered if she had really gotten off the island. His Shadow never spoke of her, and whenever Peter asked he said he hadn't ever seen her. But Peter controlled Neverland, he felt anything enter or exit, anything that happened in it, and he most certainly had its edges locked tightly, keeping everything in and the other realms out. She couldn't have slipped past him, Jones never dared to try that, and not even his Shadow was capable of leaving if Peter didn't want him to. And Peter had never wanted anyone staying more than he did his little toy.
The last time anyone had seen or heard of her was months ago, Peter wasn't sure how many, but enough that he stopped counting. The Lost Boys had given up looking for her, and Peter had given up ordering them to. It was a waste of time, it was boring, and they needed to get back to training. He didn't quite know who the Truest Believer was yet, but someone that powerful was surely going to be protected, sought after, fought over. They would surely win, of course, but he preferred to not lose any of his brothers if he could help it.
The sun was high in the sky as Peter sauntered on the edges of fairy territory, not wishing to go right in and be annoyed with their weak little magic auras. Plus, they were scared of him enough to cower in their huts even now. He smirked, then transported himself away. Honestly, he hadn't even meant to go to fairy territory, or to this new place near Dark Hollow, his Shadow's home. He didn't need him right now. Peter's lips twisted, his habit of transporting a few times a day to random, thoughtless locations had a purpose, and he hated both the purpose and the results. At least the Dark One or some other idiot from the other realms would never be around to witness this, or to go back telling silly stories and jokes of him—
"Cheaters never win," a voice, faint but laughing, cut off his thoughts by calling from somewhere to his side. It was yelling, but far away. Peter's spine straightened and his jaw twitched, that voice sounded familiar…
He hurled himself into transporting to where he'd heard it, around the boundary of Dark Hollow, quite a bit to the side from where he had been walking. He was closer, he knew it, and he stood completely still, chest barely twitching with his shallow breaths. He didn't hear anything else for a long time. He didn't see anything. He didn't even feel anything, magical or not. Well, he felt his Shadow's magic and presence, but dismissed it with annoyance.
Peter felt something in his body change, as if darken or empty, and he frowned. Transporting himself away from Dark Hollow, he returned to the Lost Boys' territory just in time to see the boys standing in a loose circle, hollering and laughing. Michael and Devin were in the middle fighting, and Peter focused on them just in time to see Devin do a completely illegal move: he grabbed little Harry by his mop of brown hair and threw the kid in front of him, making the boy's chest take the blow of Michael's kick. Peter winced, and the circle of boys immediately growled and yelled at Devin for that. Devin grimaced, looking both spiteful at their degradations and ashamed at his actions. Peter chose that moment to step forward and into the circle, grabbing Harry's shoulder and tugging the kid up and into Daniel's arm, then facing Devin with his arms crossed over his chest and eyebrow raised.
"Now, Devin," he said sternly. "The game is no fun if you break the rules." All the anger and authority was in his face, Peter didn't need many words for the Lost Boy to know. Devin looked down, ears bright red and mumbled something. Peter knew it was an apology, both to him and to Harry. Glancing at Harry to see the kid nod, still holding his chest but smiling shakily, Peter chuckled internally at the kid's nature. "Don't you know," Peter continued, finishing his scolding, "cheaters never win."
ELLE'S POV
It had been three years since the last time Elle had visited the Lost Boys secretly. That was almost four years of living in her little campsite alone, interacting only with the mermaids or the Shadow. The mermaids were good friends of hers, and they did an excellent job of protecting her and caring for her as best they could, but the Shadow was the closest she had to her brothers.
Elle woke up unusually early, about two hours before the sunrise. She didn't sleep much anymore, but this was still a bit odd. But she knew the reason. She missed them, it was killing her. It had been years since she had even seen one of them, even Felix, who went out of Lost Boy territory more than any of the others. Her patience, her strength, was wearing thin.
Climbing down, she stopped for a moment and realized something off with the island. Things were changing, tiny differences that were as loud as a thunderstorm to her, but there was something else…it wasn't change, it was missing. Something was missing. "Grazie," she called as she ran down the bridge of rocks that jutted into the ocean, knowing her friend would be awake. She didn't think mermaids ever slept.
"Good morning," the mermaid greeted, dark arms crossing under her chest and black curls spilling over her shoulders as she pulled herself up. Elle got right to the point, impatient.
"What's missing?" she said bluntly. She knew Grazie would understand, mermaids were a part of Neverland even more than she was, more than he was, they could feel everything more than she could.
"I am not entirely sure," Grazie said slowly, furrowing her black eyebrows. She opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again, eyeing Elle. "Diana Rose did say something about Pan not being here," she trailed into a whisper. Elle's eyes widened and she felt ice down her back.
"Where would he go?" she gasped.
"Business in the other realms," Grazie shrugged, "something about a heart. We mermaids do not care much for his activities, he will never be able to harm us or drive us out like he did those silly fairies." She smirked. Elle nodded absently, trying to drag up the memories she had been pushing down for years now. When had he ever mentioned a heart…she couldn't remember. She knew he was looking for something, he'd mentioned it himself when she was with them, and the Lost Boys had mentioned someone they wanted.
Then her thoughts abruptly changed. He wasn't here. Ignoring Grazie's protests and calls, Elle sprinted back to the beach and straight into the forest, slowing only to reach out and grab a hunting knife lying next to her fire pit before throwing herself into transporting.
She blinked and was in the middle of the Lost Boys' campsite. They hadn't changed it, even after all this time. Same place, same tents in the same circle, same large fire pit and few scattered smaller ones. Weapons, fewer now because the sun was rising and they were out or just waking up, strewn around in an attempt at neatness. She heard noises in the forest, crunching and voices all tangled and fading together. They must already be up—well, most of them. She still heard a few light snores form a couple tents.
This time, she walked. Slowly, tentatively. The sounds were spread out now, so she cast out her senses and tried to feel for auras. She couldn't sense any of the boys, she remembered, but she could sense perhaps her most important brother. His magic was just strong enough for her to feel, however faintly, despite his long, silent footsteps. Soon enough, she could see two silhouettes in front of her, one tall and thin and hunched but seeping strength, the other smaller and a bit awkward. Elle grinned, biting her bottom lip to try and fail to stop it, and felt her eyes prick.
Then they turned around a tree and she lost sight of them. Pulling her cloaking spell tightly around her, she quickened her pace, not caring about branches or bushes because they couldn't hear her anyway. Elle burst into a small clearing just in time to see the smaller boy finishing a sentence and the taller one, snarling, shove him up against a tree.
"…I found it written in Pan's notes, the same Box Hook had, and, and, and please," Colin choked out, grimacing and wriggling under Felix's grip. Elle stopped breathing. They looked the same, and she dug her fingers into the tree beside her until they bled to keep herself from running to them. That, and her curiosity, and fear. Felix's face, even partially hidden by the hood, was twisted with rage.
"Why would you do this? Why would betray Pan, betray us? Betray her. Do you have any idea what you did?" he growled, baring his teeth, his knuckles stark white against Colin's neck.
"Please," Colin was practically crying, tears streaming down his cheeks and voice cracking. "I'm so sorry, Felix, I didn't know anything other than him. I was living in the gutter, he picked me out and gave me a home and food and clothes and a life. I didn't know, I swear, I just did what I was told, I just wanted to repay Hook but—"
"Do you realize everything you've caused?" Felix screamed, making even Elle stumble back a step. Her heart was racing, hurling itself against her ribs as air fought its way down her dry throat.
"I have, and I hate it," Colin croaked. "I'm sorry, and I'm completely devoted to Pan, you know that."
"Pick someone to die for," Felix hissed, adjusting his grip on Colin's neck and reaching around to pull out a hunting knife and slam it against the skin of his throat. Elle couldn't watch this anymore, she couldn't watch her Felix do this. He was her brother, they both were. Stepping behind the tall blonde, she slipped the spell down so that she could touch him, but they couldn't see her. She reached out and grabbed onto the wrist that held the knife, using his surprise and her magic and her anger to yank him off of Colin and back a few steps. She was not going to stand for this. Colin slumped against the tree, gasping and shaking, but she turned her back on him and lunged at Felix.
The blonde whipped around wildly, trying to figure out what had happened, when she shoved him against another tree, bending his arm up to rest the knife against his own throat. She bared her teeth and growled, "don't you dare hurt him."
Felix just stared, jaw hanging, grey eyes wide, body completely limp. Elle almost stuttered, this wasn't the reaction she'd aimed for.
"Elle…" he breathed, somewhere between a statement and a question. That's when she realized the absence of the weight usually on her shoulders, her own magic tinted with that of the Shadow's. Her cloaking spell was gone. Felix was seeing her, looking straight at her, aware that she was there. And so was Colin. All three just stared at each other, equally elated and scared.
Then Colin stepped forward and reached out, and Felix snapped out of it and his face twisted again. Elle saw it in time and poured magic into her limbs to push back as he tried to twist out of her grip.
"Felix, stop," she groaned. He glared down at her.
"Don't you realize what he's done," he demanded, his voice harsh enough to make her bite back a wince. Still, a surge of happiness shot through her at hearing him speak to her again. He was going to continue but she cut him off, amazed he wasn't getting it.
"I know what it's like to be alone and so do you," she began, raising her voice until his mouth closed. It did, tightening his lips into a line. "All of the Lost Boys. You would all go with anyone, just to not be alone. You all trusted a boy you didn't know to take you away to a land you didn't even know existed, hell Felix, I flew off with a bloody Shadow! And almost drowned, and was tied to a tree and starve when I first got here. You were all stronger than me, and better fighters. And I still didn't even have ideas about escaping, because I wasn't alone here. We all know that. You can't blame him for it," she finished, breathing heavily, eyes burning into Felix's, matching steel on bluer steel.
"You're forgiving him?" he growled. "He's the reason you were taken, the reason you were—"
"I know what happened," she hissed. "I knew as soon as that pirate took me. And I never told," she paused as Felix's eyes widened again, and he stopped trying to get out of her grip. He stopped moving entirely, and his face crumpled. "I wanted to give Colin the chance we were all given, Felix. He is under my protection," she pressed the knife harder against his neck at this. He scowled, but took a deep breath through his nose and Elle saw his body visibly deflate. He nodded, keeping his eyes locked on hers, and she stepped back and handed him his knife.
Colin stepped forward again but Felix shot him a glare and he stopped. The blonde made no other move towards him, instead lunging and wrapping his long arms around Elle. She let out a breath she didn't realize she held, and hugged him back. A feeling of peace, and comfort and safety, washed over her and she forgot everything as she just let her brother hold onto her. She forgot what he did to her, forgot that he hurt her, forgot that she could never let him have her back. After a while, she didn't know how long and she didn't really care, he stepped away and they looked around in sync to see Colin disappearing into the forest back to camp. Felix stepped forward and she followed, the two slowly making their way back to camp with Felix's fingers splayed firmly on her shoulder.
"You should talk to the boys," he broke the silence after a few minutes, voice quiet and deep and gravelly as she remembered. Elle wanted to just close her eyes and enjoy it, but she needed to answer him. "Please, we know you and Pan have…problems. But they miss you, we all do. You're our sister."
"Felix, I," she trailed, not sure how to even start. She didn't want to see him, she missed the boys with all her broken heart but she couldn't see him. He'd caused it. He'd hurt her, he'd used her. Luckily, they stepped onto the campsite and she didn't have to answer. Felix whistled, and immediately the Lost Boys ran out from the fire pit, tents, the forest, all of them. Loud and wild and excited. Home. That comfort cloaked her again, like a puzzle piece that fit perfectly for the first time in years. For a split second, her mind flashed to how it had been: fitting in, playing and living with the boys, as equal and part of them as they were all a part of Neverland. Elle grinned, stepping forward to finally see and hold her brothers again, every single one of them.
Her blood turned to ice and all the happiness was killed instantly. He would be here, he would hear Felix. She turned on her heel and sprinted, clumsily trying to drag her cloaking spell back over her. She made it all of two steps before long, thin fingers entangled themselves in her messy white hair and tugged her head back, gently but firmly.
"He's not here," Felix murmured, voice quiet and heavy. She stopped struggling and slowly turned, so that her side faced the gathering boys. Felix slowly threaded his fingers out of her hair, but kept them cupped around her shoulder.
"Boys, take a seat. I have an announcement," Felix addressed them all, pushing Elle a bit behind his back so they didn't notice her. The boys scrambled to sit around the main fire pit, little Harry darting around the taller boys' legs and getting their first. Colin was the last to walk away, a hint of a shaky smile on his mouth as he looked past Felix at Elle, before ducking his head and finding a seat.
"He's been in the Enchanted Forest the past few days actually," Felix explained as the two slowly went to the circle of boys. Each pair of eyes grew wider with each step Elle took, all finally realizing she was there, but not daring to speak. They probably thought she wasn't real, a game or trick of the mermaids or fairies or something. "He's searching for the Truest Believer."
"The what?" Elle murmured, unable to tear her eyes from the gathered boys. This title had been tossed around before, she'd heard it, but she had no idea what it was.
"Someone important," Felix settled after a moment. With that, he stalked the few remaining steps and sat amongst the boys, extending his arm up to her. "Boys, Elle's home," he said simply. He barely even finished the last word before the boys were scrambling back to their feet, cheering and shoving each other to try to talk to her.
FELIX'S POV
"Where ya been, girl?" Daniel managed to talk to her first, his hand on her shoulder to keep her near him while the boys crowded around. Felix chuckled to himself, it always seemed like there were more of them when they were excited. Elle just gave him a weak smile, as she did to Joshua and Slightly and Devin, who each asked similar questions. He just watched from his seat, everything looked right and he, for once, wasn't worrying about her somewhere on the island or in the realms. She didn't answer any of them, and her smile didn't grow or reach her eyes. Felix felt his insides feel both heavy and empty at the same time, and the energy and strength literally drained. Oh.
"Boys, I," Elle started, voice small and shaky. The Lost Boys immediately shut up. She looked around at them, inhaling deeply and chewing on her lower lips, before letting out the breath. "I missed you," she said finally.
"We missed ya too, sis," Harry's head popped up, and that was all Felix could see of him before the kid's thin arms were wrapping around Elle's waist. She reached down and looped her arms around his shoulders, loosely and tightly at the same time. Felix could see it, she didn't want to let go, but she would anyway.
"Hey, you never said where you were," Curly frowned, but Slightly spoke up as soon as the last word left his lips.
"Doesn't matter, she's back now," he grinned at Curly, then at Elle. There was a beat of silence after that, Felix knew. She wasn't going to lie to him, but Felix couldn't even bring himself to tell the truth.
"We've been missin' ya," Daniel spoke up, breaking the silence and probably picking up that something was wrong. He always did. Sometimes, it made Felix a bit uncomfortable, but other times he was thankful for it. "We looked for ya, but we didn't know where ya had run off ta, 'n' we didn't want ta ask…" he trailed, but no one needed him to finish the sentence. Not even Felix had asked Pan why she had run off, all the Lost Boys knew well enough not to.
Still, it seemed to remind Elle because Felix saw her stiffen slightly, and her deep, stormy blue eyes began to flit around anxiously. "I should really go," Felix barely even heard it, more just saw her lips move. "Boys, I've missed you so much, and I love you all, I do," she spoke louder, but quickly.
"You're back now, ya don't have ta miss us anymore, silly," Harry grinned and laughed, arms still loosely around her waist. She sighed, and her shoulders hunched. The boys finally seemed to have caught on, because Joshua, Colin, and Michael took hesitant, absentminded steps back and the rest just looked wide-eyed and confused.
"I can't," she whispered, but it didn't matter. They all heard. It hurt more, hearing her say it aloud. It made Felix's suspicion come true, a reality. His sister wasn't here to stay, she wasn't even meant to be here at all. He was losing her all over again…how many times had it been now?
The boys immediately bombarded her further, but Felix's ears only caught a few strands of the anger, sadness, and confusion.
"What do ya mean ya won't come back?"
"Why? We're family, Pan bloody brought you here."
"We need you, you have magic and Pan needs magic."
"Why can't you stay? Are you with the damn fairies?"
"To hell with it, come back and stay."
"Elle, please, why can't ya stay? We're brothers."
ELLE'S POV
Elle was spared from the questions, so impossible to answer, by none other than his Shadow himself. Still, she was thankful. She couldn't explain it to the boys, they wouldn't understand because they were loyal to him and he didn't have to use them, hurt and confuse them, like he did her. They didn't have magic like she did. Elle was a tool, that was all, they were his brothers, his family, his friends. They were special enough to be looked after and protected and seen.
"He will return within the hour, princess, you must go," the Shadow's voice seeped into her mind, hooking and reeling her attention. She nodded, and took a few steps back to distance herself and get out of Harry's imprisoning grasp.
"I have to leave," she began, chest tight and eyes burning. "I love you all, I do, and you were the best family I have ever had." She looked around, smiling shakily, at their faces mixed with sadness and anger and more sadness. "And you can't tell Pan I was here," she finished more firmly. There was a disjointed nod among them, then she turned on her heel and sprinted out of the campsite and into the forest. She didn't look back, she couldn't, it hurt too much.
"Elle!" a voice called, and she slowed but didn't stop. The plants behind her crunched and crackled as a boy tumbled through them hastily to catch up with her. Colin. He reached out and held onto her forearm, not stopping her, but keeping up with her. He didn't say anything else, so she picked up her speed again until they were at the edge of the Lost Boys' hunting territory. There, he tugged her to a stop.
"What are you doing, Colin?" she begged, out of breath and fighting to see through the water clouding her vision. If he asked her to stay, she would.
"I was confessing," he said bluntly. "To Felix, in the forest earlier today." She just nodded, not quite sure where he was going. She hoped it wasn't just to kill time, she already only had about half an hour left. "Thank you, for never telling, and I truly am so sorry that all of this happened because of my—"
"This isn't because of you," she cut him off, shaking her head vigorously. He tilted his head.
"I meant everything else that is because of me. and I know there's quite a lot," he paused, tilting his head to the other side, and seemed to think about what he was saying next. "I'm no longer loyal to hook, at all. Especially after the hell Pan gave him," he chuckled drily. Then, he smiled softly and squeezed the arm he was still holding. "But not because of Pan and the home he's given me, but because of you, Elle. I owe you everything, more so than I owe anyone else in all the realms."
She shook her head again, but couldn't help the tiny smile. "You don't owe me anything, Colin. Just take care of your brothers, and enjoy your freedom."
He looked pained then. "I wish I could do something for you," he trailed, then his head jerked and his eyes brightened. "I'll visit you. Come on, just once. I'll see you right here, in one year exactly." Elle opened her mouth to protest, but Colin glared. She sighed, pressing her lips together, and just nodded weakly. Her love really was her weakness. He continued.
"I can tell you what I know right now, please. You should know," he begged, and she just looked at him, keeping her mouth closed. Colin bit his lip and let go of her arm. "Since I was on the streets, and had to steal and coddle for money, I became quite good at noticing details about people. Even better when I became Hook's spy. I was with him when he had a woman, Milah, on board."
Elle frowned, something sounded familiar there. "I think I remember," she said slowly, trying to drag up the shadowy, pain-filled memories from years ago, "him talking…screaming about her."
"She was his true love. We came to Neverland right after she was killed, right on the ship, right in front of him," Colin bit his lip and played with his fingers. He glanced around, as if checking, and leaned a bit closer to Elle. "Hook used to look at a picture he had of her. That's why I told him to kidnap you that day, instead of one of the boys."
"What does his true love have to do with me?" Elle breathed, confused. For a split second, she thought perhaps they were related somehow, but the time didn't make sense. And she knew who her birth mother was, a queen in the enchanted Forest, not a pirate's lover.
"I saw Pan look at you the same way Hook looked at the picture," Colin said quickly, shrugging and looking down at their feet, his in scuffed boots and hers bare. "I'm so sorry, Elle," he groaned. Neither spoke for a long time, at least several minutes. He looked at her like a pirate looked at a lost loved one. She didn't want to know that. The both of them must not really know love. She didn't either, but she was just a tool of his, and that couldn't be love. Colin was mistaken, and it made Elle's chest hurt and crack.
"It doesn't matter, it's in the past now," Elle said flatly. With that, and no other word from him, she hugged him quickly and walked away. She didn't look back, just counted the steps all the way from Lost Boy territory to her secret little inlet, and up the rope ladder into her little hut. Somewhere along the way, she felt the Shadow's magic and presence beside her, but she hadn't reacted. She'd felt him pull up the cloaking spell, covering her in his magic for a moment before her own automatically took over.