Disclaimer: Oh, if only it were mine.

A/N: Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews, and for everyone who has been adding this story to their alerts and favorites. *Curtsies* thank you, thank you, thank you. You do know how much I love you right?

In similar news, I have a beta! Yay. Big thanks to the lovely xxxkimmixxx who has agreed to help me beta this story and keep it to the quality level you all deserve. So much thanks!

I certainly hope that you all like this chapter, there is a lovely little Severus / Hermione flashback later. Anywho… ( I like the word lovely ) and now, on to our story.

Enjoy.

~ fresh new lily ~

Hermione watched from a corner as George and Kingsley walked hand in hand back towards the house. They hadn't made it to the door before Molly had descended upon them, smacking George upside the head and pulling Kingsley into her embrace, ensuring both men that she was thrilled to see them so happy and in love.

Soon the rest of the group followed. Congratulations' and laughter rang through the air. Hermione shared a knowing smile with George from the sidelines. She was happy for her friends, knowing they had grown tired of the hiding.

Arthur had made it home shortly after from the Ministry to find the festivities had begun without him. Kingsley and George had both gone quiet upon his arrival, not sure he would react with quite the same enthusiasm seeing his son and his good friend had been secretly carrying on a relationship. He stood quietly, taking in the unexpected scene before him for a moment before approaching both men.

Hermione couldn't hear what was being said from her position, Arthurs voice didn't have the same tendency to carry that his wife's did, but if the exultant look on George's face was anything to judge by he had been happy for the couple, if not a little shocked.

From the corner of her eye she could see Harry make his way across the lawn, stopping next to Draco and punching him in the shoulder, causing the blonde to wince and rub his now tender shoulder before both men started to laugh.

She felt like going over there and screaming at him. He didn't dare look her way, and she supposed that he was read the riot act by a very imposing Severus, knowing he was more than slightly upset on her behalf over Harry's treatment of her. It wasn't enough though in her opinion. He was supposed to be her brother, or as good as, and he had turned tail when she needed him. He could have sent another Auror in his place. He could have sent a whole team. But no, he had to be the hero again.

In the end she didn't have the energy to deal with him, not then; not when George and Kingsley looked so happy. She was beginning to wonder what was taking Severus so long though. Harry had emerged minutes before and ache would have thought that Severus would have been close behind and at her side by now, helping her to suffer the crowd. She supposed she shouldn't be so completely reliant on his constant presence, but she couldn't help but miss the warmth that washed over her when he was near.

She wanted to feel happy and join in with everyone's laughter but she couldn't help but to feel the distance between herself and those she called family. So much had changed in so few winters and she no longer felt at home among the raucous laughter and good humor of the Weasley's and company.

It was a testament to how much she had changed that only with the dark and pensive Potions Master did she feel at home. His quiet strength and subtle dominance somehow made Hermione feel safe enough to let her guard down and her weaknesses show. She had always trusted him, even in her youth, to protect her without coddling her. Something in his countenance reminded her of tall, strong mountains ever standing watch over the valley below, sheltering and protecting without looming so far above as to block out the sun.

Hermione hadn't realized how far adrift her mind had managed go as she stared unseeingly at the jovial group in front of her until a cool glass was being pressed into her hand.

She hadn't heard Severus step up behind her and even without seeing him there was no mistaking who was gently pressed against her back offering her a cool glass of lemonade. Hermione could feel tension draining from her neck and shoulders she hadn't known she was carrying as his warmth cascaded over her.

"Thank you," she spoke softly as she brought the glass to meet her lips. "Have a nice chat?" The question had been rather rhetorical; though she was curious as to what all was said between him and Harry.

Severus breath ghosted over her shoulder, gently trilling the ends of her shorter curly locks. "Is there such a thing as a nice chat with Potter? It was...informative," he paused to take a deep breath blocking out the thought of Hermione's small frame twisted by her own curse. "Let's not worry about that just now. You should be with your friends," he told her, his deep voice reverberating down her spine.

Hermione took another sip of her lemonade and allowed herself to lean back against Severus' solid chest. Sighing as she relaxed into him, she tilted her head up, albeit slightly awkwardly, and began to speak honestly about her feelings. "I know. I know I should be laughing and joining in. I should be helping Bill with the faerie lights or teasing George with Ginny. It's just so hard, "her voice wavered as she spoke. "I am happy for them, how could I not be. George and Kings have become some of my closest friends and I know how much keeping this from everyone has been weighing on them more and more as time goes by. I just can't help the feeling that I don't belong here, maybe I never did. I'm not a Weasley. I'm not really certain I know who I am to be honest. I just know that this, that you, feel right. Everything else though..." she trailed off as he dropped a kiss on her head.

Severus knew she had been struggling to find the girl she used to be within the woman she is now. He hated watching her fight to find a semblance of normality in her life and he knew that the Weasley's were a large part of that. He was worried that so much of her difficulty stemmed from her notions that she was no longer good enough, that she was tainted. Fervently he desired to help get her past this difficult period she was trudging through. He could see Draco eyeing him curiously as he moved to wrap a strong protective arm about Hermione's waist. He just smirked at him before trying to reassure Hermione.

"No one expects you to be the same girl you were before the war Hermione. I know how it torments you, feeling like you have to play a role for all of them. Know that if nothing else Hermione, you need never play a role for me. I do not think any of them would think any less of the woman you have become either. Perhaps you should try to give them a chance," he suggested.

Hermione blinked back the tears that were welling in her eyes, hating how overactive her hormones still were. "I try to tell myself that. But it's not just that," she admitted quietly.

Severus pressed his temple to the top of her head. "Explain it to me," the soft spoken words were far from a command.

Hermione knew that if anyone would understand it would be Severus. "I don't know Severus, it's so hard. My emotions are so erratic all the time, but mostly I feel jealous of all these people laughing and singing when I've lost so much," she told him, shamed of her own feelings. "It's terrible. I'm a terrible friend."

Severus tightened the arm he had around her waist slightly and brushed hos thumb gently over her hip. "Ssshhh. You aren't in the least bit terrible sweetheart. You have to let yourself grieve for what you've lost. Though I do not think that anyone would begrudge you a little joy if you chose to share with them in their happiness today. It could be good for you," he told her, hoping to gently nudge her in a more positive direction.

Her voice was small as she spoke. "I just don't know if I can."

"You can try," he assured her.

Hermione finished the last of her lemonade and focused her energy on wordlessly banishing the glass back to the kitchen. With determination in her eyes she turned to Severus and smiled. "You'll be alright?" she asked.

Severus nodded at her. "I am sure I can find something to occupy my time while you visit. I actually haven't had the opportunity to speak to Draco of late, so I shall rectify that while the opportunity has presented itself," he nodded toward the man in question, assuring her he would not be lost without her company.

Hermione reached out and lightly squeezed his arm before turning and heading towards the group gathered a little further away on the lawn.

Hermione did her best to enjoy herself; talking a little with everyone, except Harry who was still working to avoid her, and laughing a few times at something someone would say. She had managed to escape for a little while to help Molly get all of the food for dinner prepared, preferring to have something to occupy her thoughts and her hands. She was far from a gourmet cook but she was more than capable with a knife and set to helping where she could.

Eventually Charlie showed up with his fiancée in tow and everyone sat down to eat.

Dinner was like every Weasley dinner Hermione could remember, conversations light and jovial. George and Kingsley were the talk of the evening. Hermione could see the joy radiating from George as he told his family about how he had come to fall in love with the older man. Hermione listened half-heartedly, having heard most of it before. She responded when anyone asked her a question and laughed quietly when it seemed appropriate to do so but her mind felt so preoccupied.

Molly had most of the table laughing as she described her morning spent with Draco looking over color swatches and his terribly little prank that had brought him there in the first place. She told them how he had offered to help her decorate some time, even if he wasn't secretly dating any of her children, and had brought elves to plant the most beautiful roses that were promised to always be in bloom. Draco shrugged it off as if it was something he would do for anyone. Only Severus saw it for more, and thought to talk to him about it later.

Harry blushed and groaned when someone had asked how he had even gotten the idea. Everyone seemed to be rather amused by the fact that he had managed to jump to such a conclusion, though they all gave him a break saying it certainly hadn't crossed any of their minds to think that George would ever have managed to catch the eye of a man like Kingsley, who it was agreed, was definitely getting the raw end of the deal in the relationship. That was of course a notion George took great offence to, but Kingsley assured him and everyone else that George was very much the best thing in his life, and that sometimes someone who makes you laugh is the most important thing in the world. Hermione simply smiled when the girls all started to coo and giggle over the mention of Kingsley's defensive display in the kitchen, which launched George into various tales of Kingsley's more protective nature.

"You should have seen him when one of the Aurors said something about some of the products I've been making for them – not that you know about that mind, highly confidential and all that – but the guy was going on about using second rate joke shop props in criminal investigations being a better laugh than the rest of my stock together, and I swear Kingsley growled at him," he was saying, recalling a day a few months ago when he had met with Kingsley and a team of Aurors over some purchases. Kingsley hadn't really been needed at the meeting at all but had dropped by saying he was interested to see what advancements were being made in the department. The Auror in question was trying to grandstand in front of the Minister thinking that taking a hard line against what he was calling 'reckless spending' would go a long way in advancing his career. It hadn't.

Dinner continued on much the same, with everyone exchanging stories and grilling George and Kingsley about their relationship and how they had managed to keep it secret from almost everyone for three years. When eventually everyone had finished eating the gargantuan proportions Molly had insisted they all eat – "Too thin the lot of you!" she had exclaimed, demanding they take more – everyone began to slowly split off into smaller groups. Draco had offered to help Molly and Luna in the kitchen, making tea, coffee, and pudding; wanting to talk to Molly more about these 'boys' she thought he might like. Fred joined Arthur, Bill, and Charlie while the wives and soon to be wives grouped off laughing about wedding planning no doubt. Severus excused himself from Hermione's side, telling her she should go talk to the girls while he spoke to Kingsley and Harry about things. She knew 'things' meant her, and Ron, and this Verity woman. She could only hope that Harry had managed to find out something of use when he ran off the week before, thought the way everyone was avoiding talking about it she had her doubts.

She had considered joining the girls, or maybe going inside to see if Molly, Luna, and Draco could use a hand, but instead she saw a chance to slip away unnoticed and took it.

Hermione slipped out of her chair and checked to be sure that no one was paying her any attention and began to slowly walk to the edge of the yard. She opened the old rickety gate slowly and made sure to latch it behind her before cutting across the field.

The wind was blowing and tall grasses whipped about her ankles, ticking the bare skin there. She could smell the honeysuckle and oak, and the distinctly metallic scent of an oncoming spring rain storm. Away from the noise of the Burrow she let her masks fall away and simply took a moment to breath in the calm of the world around her.

Hermione was unaware in the change in her breathing or the slight trembling of her fingers as she approached the small graveyard beyond just on the outskirts of Ottery St. Catchpole, just a few miles walk from the Burrow when you cut through the fields. Hermione stopped short when she reached the iron gates standing tall protecting the graveyard and those laid to rest in the hallowed ground. Taking a steading breath she put her hand to the iron and slipped inside, heading towards a gathering of graves on the other side of a small hill where generations of Weasley's had been lain to rest.

She slowly approached the simple stone headstone that marked her daughters grave and trailed her fingers over the letters etched into its surface. 'And though we never got to know you, To share with you and teach you, We loved you just the same. Beautiful Girl – Child without a name.' Slowly she lowered herself to sit amongst the tiny white flowers covering the grave, tucking her feet up under her and allowing the tears to fall.

After a few minutes spent crying for her loss she wiped the tears from her cheeks with the backs of her hand and sat up a little straighter looking at the base of the headstone. "Hello baby girl," she whispered, her voice wavering. "I feel so lost without you. I dreamed of you for so long, my very own Light of Elendil, to be a light for me in dark places. For so long everywhere was dark baby girl. But you gave me hope. You gave me reason," she told the stone. "I fell in love with the man who made you possible; I was falling for him before you were but the whisper of a hope. He is a good man baby girl; he would have been a good father to you even if you didn't share his blood. His love is genuine and strong even though there are few he lets see him so unguarded. I still remember when we started to have our weekly lunches and he let down his impenetrable shields briefly, letting me see more and more of the man he truly is and wants to be. It wasn't a quick thing mind you, for so long I was just waiting for him to get snarky and call me an 'incessant know-it-all' or tell me to mind my own business if I knew what was good for me; but he was much more patient than I had ever known him to be as his student. I couldn't help falling in love with him, besides, he gave me you baby girl. The two of you saved my life," she cried as she rambled and talked on wanting her daughter to know that she was loved by two parents; even if one of them wasn't truly her father. Hermione couldn't doubt that Severus loved her.

"I remember how awkward and stiff he was the first time I asked him if he wanted to feel you kicking," she laughed through her tears. "He looked rather petrified that I would even think of such a thing, but I could see the curiosity and something like desire in his eyes," she told the stone.

Hermione was waiting in a small booth in the corner of the café, sipping on a glass of ice water, as she wondered what was taking Severus so long. He was never late. She hardly believed he had ever allowed himself to be anything less than five minutes early to anything in his life. Yet she had been waiting on him for over fifteen minutes and she was starting to think that he just wouldn't show. It would make perfect sense if he had tired of her company; after all she couldn't really see what he was getting out of there weekly lunch dates. He was such excellent company though; a thought that still amazed her from time to time. But she was hardly his match when it came to academia and there were very few debates they had where she felt like she could truly argue her side against him; not when he was so sure he was right about absolutely everything. She highly doubted that tales of life as a housewife were all that thrilling for him, but still he met with her every week and had stopped grumbling about pushy Gryffindor women trying to better his quality of life some months ago. She thought that his grumblings had always been more about Minerva anyways.

She did hope though that he would be coming, she knew she was relying on him far too much, and that her feelings for him would likely cause him to shut her out of his life completely if he really knew the extent of them, but she couldn't really help that so she tried to keep herself from showing her emotions like some sort of badge of honor. She had slipped that one time and kissed him, but she had played that off as excitement over the news of her pregnancy, and he had pretended that the whole thing had never happened. She was starting to think that perhaps it hadn't. Her mind wasn't always the clearest anymore.

She did so hope he would come.

The waitress came by the table again and asked if she was sure she didn't want anything more than water, but Hermione just assured her that her friend would be there soon and that she would wait to order when he arrived, not that she couldn't have just ordered for the two of them, she knew his favorites well enough by now, and had learned some while back that he cycled his orders regularly, choosing from his favorites in the same rotation for months, today would be roast beef on rye with a cup of soup on the side, unless of course they didn't have any potato soup, and then he would order a salad. Still, she would wait for him; it wouldn't do to let him know she paid so much attention.

She just sat there, sipping her water and absentmindedly rubbing her hand over her growing womb thinking about how lucky her child would be to have a man like Severus Snape in their life, even if it was only for Wednesday lunches. She never even noticed when the door opened and Severus stalked in, brushing snowflakes from his wool coat rather harshly, as if the snow had only been coming down as a personal attack on his person.

When Severus slid into the booth across from Hermione her head snapped up and she couldn't help the smile that spread across her face.

Severus shrugged out of his coat and folded it neatly in seat next to him. "I apologize for my tardiness. One of my vendors thought stupidly that I would be unable to notice the decline in the quality of supplies, and as it is nearly time for me to begin this month's batch of Wolfsbane I really need to have quality ingredients," he explained, his voice tense and gruff; still managing to sound far more seductive than it should to Hermione's ear.

"Think nothing of it, I was just trying to decide what to order," she waved off his apology as she spoke.

He simply quirked an eyebrow at her. "You are even more predictable than I am Hermione. You will think over the entire menu, thinking that absolutely everything just sounds so 'divine'," he mocked, raising his voice in a rather comical impression of Hermione, twirling an invisible strand of hair between his fingers. "Then you will no doubt order a simple club sandwich with extra mayonnaise and extra pickles. Surely looking at the menu is rather pointless, don't you think?"

Hermione scoffed at him. Okay, so she was a bit more predictable than he was, but even he was easy to figure out if you looked hard enough, and she certainly spent more of her time looking than she should, much more than she would want him to know. "I might order something else this time," she told him, knowing full well that there was very little chance she would do anything more than he had suggested, a club sandwich did sound so tasty.

Eventually the two ordered their food and Hermione had to hide a smile when Severus ordered just as she knew he would, and settled into an easy conversation. Hermione had just finished reading a book that Severus had recommended on the use of Charms in the advancement of Potions.

They had been talking animatedly on the possible benefits of 'silly wand-waving' in a laboratory and the implications that could have if there were charms to accomplish things that had not even been thought a possibility in the past when Hermione felt her child deliver a swift kick to her abdomen. The shock of such a movement must have registered on her face because Severus was immediately standing at her side asking if she was alright.

Hermione's smile was bright and beaming as she looked up into his face. "I didn't know you cared so much Severus," she teased, knowing full well that he cared for her wellbeing to some extent at least. "The baby kicked. I'm fine, I promise. Better than fine really, it's amazing. I mean, there have been flutters before, but never anything like this, it's amazing. You have to feel," she told him as she grabbed for his hand.

Severus pulled his hand quickly from her grasp, holding his arms swiftly at his sides. "I most certainly do not have to 'feel' anything Hermione. It's not even remotely appropriate and there is nothing to be gained from such an action. You and your feminine sentimentalities," he grumbles a little harshly.

"Nonsense," she told him, as she slowly lifted the hem of her blue jumper up and over the swell of her stomach, exposing her growing belly. "Now feel," she demanded. "Consider it proof of what you have accomplished." She didn't give him a choice as she grabbed his hand and quickly brought it to her stomach, pressing it firmly where she was feeling the kicks. "Do you feel it?" she asked, he voice a happy whisper.

Severus expression went from affronted shock, to curiosity, to something akin to joy, and then loss as he smoothed his hand over the soft skin of Hermione's stomach, feeling proof of the growing life she was sheltering; a life that wouldn't be possible without him. "That is," he searched for the appropriate word to a situation he had never before found himself in, as he subconsciously knelt down on the floor to easier reach her stomach without having to stoop over, not wanting to yet remove his hand from her person, "remarkable," he finished.

Slowly he stood and turned away from her and righted his robes, though they were doubtfully askew to begin with. After a moment he took his seat across from her again and pondered on what had just happened. He was about to say something when the portly little waitress arrived with their food.

Hermione lowered her jumper slowly and looked at Severus through her lashes. "I still can't believe it some days you know. Even as I get bigger and bigger and know realistically that there is a person growing in there, it is just so unreal. I hadn't," she chewed her lip as she struggled not to cry in front of him, suddenly overwhelmed with too many emotions, "I hadn't thought that this would ever be a possibility for me, and even after the potions success, I worried that it was all too good to be true. Thank you Severus," she whispered the last words.

Severus looked at the woman sitting across from him as if she was a terribly difficult Aritmantic equation. "You have thanked me enough, time and time again. That was… a wholly unique experience for me. Thank you. Sometimes, even having grown up all but a Muggle, I forget that there are things in this world far more magical than can be taught at Hogwarts."

It was perhaps the most honest and open thing he had ever said to her and she fought herself not to make a big deal about it and just to focus instead on the food in front of her before he realized his error and erected his walls closing her off from him completely.

It was the only time he permitted himself to touch her before she ended up in St. Mungos.

"He is such a good man baby girl," she cried as she lay down on the ground and began to sob.

A/N: I hope that you all found that to your liking. More is of course, in the works. I cannot begin to tell you all what your support means to me, there is so much going on in my life that at times it feels as if I fail no matter what I do, any yet you all are always there to remind me that there is something I seem to do right. Hopefully I didn't get this one wrong. Reviews, are as always, most appreciated. Hope your day is going better than mine.

Love you all.

~ fresh new lily ~