The days between Christmas and New Year's Eve were fantastic. Peter had a few moments here and there when he felt like he was messing up his relationship with Neal, but Neal had to reassure him, make him understand that there was nothing wrong. He didn't mind telling Peter that everything was great. The hardest part was making Peter believe him. He understood what Peter had said to him Christmas Eve though. This insecurity was about five years in the making and it would take time for Peter to feel comfortable with what they were doing. All he could really do for Peter right now was encourage him.
They were curled up together on their bed and Peter's fingers were absentmindedly running up and down Neal's back slowly. Neal's eyes were on Peter's face and he could see the war going on inside of Peter just by looking at his eyes. He was calm one moment and worried the next—until his hand finally stopped running along Neal's back and he closed his eyes, sighing quietly. Neal didn't say anything. He didn't want to ask Peter leading questions. If Peter wanted to say something, Neal didn't want to influence his thoughts and not get the point across. Peter needed to think through his thoughts and speak when he was ready.
All Neal did was gently rub his bare leg against Peter's. His eyes were still on Peter's face and his hand was resting over Peter's heart. "I feel like I should be okay by now," he whispered. "I want to believe what you say and feel, but I'm having a really hard time with this." He opened his eyes and glanced down at his husband. "Would you ever lie to me about this?"
"No," Neal whispered sincerely. "I love you, Peter. The last thing I want to do is purposely cause you pain."
Peter nodded slowly and Neal was trying his best to sound convincing. He really wanted Peter to believe him, to trust his words. "If you were going through flashbacks or having nightmares, would you tell me?"
"Of course." He rubbed his hand over Peter's chest before planting a gentle kiss on Peter's skin. "I trust you more than anyone else. I know I can come to you about anything and everything." He nuzzled his face against Peter's shoulder and whispered, "I have no reason to hide anything from you."
Peter was silent and looked away from Neal then. Neal's brows furrowed as he watched his husband's face. He was trying to figure out what was wrong now. He was being completely honest with Peter about all of this. "What nightmare were you having a couple days after Christmas? It woke you up and you left the bed."
Neal frowned. "I dreamed about Vincent, but it wasn't because of what you and I were doing," he said. Peter could hear the slight tremor in his husband's voice, so he looked at him again. "I swear it wasn't because of you."
"What made you dream about him?"
Sighing, Neal whispered, "A scar." Peter's brows furrowed now. He honestly thought he was the reason Neal had a nightmare and he'd felt awful since that night. "I know you're aware of my many, many scars. Did I ever talk to you about why I have some of them?"
Peter whispered, "A few of them. I didn't want to pressure you into talking about them—and I still don't."
Neal shifted a bit and Peter watched Neal lie on his back. He watched Neal trace a scar on his forearm. He'd known about it and was pretty sure he knew about every scar Neal had on his body. Whether or not he knew the story behind them was another thing. He'd never pressured Neal into talking about them and he wasn't about to do that now. "He threw me. We had a glass table and he threw me into it." He glanced at his husband's face and added, "It didn't feel like it happened to me. I was just a little shaken up by it."
Peter gasped quietly and Neal gave him a concerned look. When Peter slid his hand under Neal's back, he asked, "Is that why you have these scars on your lower back? Did he throw you backwards?" Neal nodded slowly. He could remember his back bleeding as a result of that and it was exactly where Peter was touching him now. "That bastard," he hissed. "You were a teenager. You didn't deserve that, especially not from a 'father' figure." Neal twisted himself a bit and curled up against Peter's side again. Peter held him and sighed. He knew Neal was trying to get him to calm down before his anger got out of hand. "You never deserved that, honey."
"I know," Neal said quietly. "That's why I've always been grateful for you. You don't do those things to me." He kissed Peter's chest and looked up at the older man when Peter's fingers tangled up in his hair. "I know you love me. Whenever I've thought otherwise, I just remember what Vincent did to me. That man was supposed to be a father to me and he abused and raped me instead." Peter swallowed hard. It was always difficult listening to Neal describe things that happened to him. What was even harder to deal with was the fact that Neal could speak about it in such a way that made it seem like he wasn't afraid of his past. He was so used to Neal's past tormenting him and now it didn't have that effect on Neal. While he was grateful for that, he thought it was…odd. Neal knew what Vincent had done to him and remembered some of it, but he still felt as though they hadn't happened to him. "You're my husband. You've never hit nor raped me. You're a gentle and wonderful man, Peter. I really appreciate having you."
Peter ran his fingers through Neal's hair and whispered, "I always wanted you to have the love you deserve. I'm just grateful that you allowed me to be the one to give it to you." Neal smiled up at him and Peter couldn't help smiling in response. "I love you very much. I never want to treat you that way. You deserve so much better."
Neal nodded. "I know I do. I deserve you." That was something else Peter was trying to get used to. For the longest time, Neal hadn't felt worthy of Peter's love. Now, he knew he was. "I can't tell you how much better my life has been because of you." Neal paused and considered that for a moment. He meant that quite honestly, too. Before Peter had initially come into his life, things hadn't been perfect. He remembered struggling to pay for things, a beautiful woman who'd given him a home and paid for his rent when he couldn't afford it, and he remembered being alone with his son. Peter brightened up their lives then and he still had that same affect on him as well as their children. Neal was grateful to have this life and he had it because Peter rescued him and was patient enough to help him through his memory loss. While neither of them knew whether or not all of Neal's memories would return someday, Neal was grateful to have all that he has. He's surrounded by his beautiful family and they love him dearly. That was all he really wanted and he was automatically given that. "I'm blessed to have you."
"Nah," Peter whispered with a soft smile on his face. "You won me over the second you looked at me."
The younger man laughed quietly when Peter hugged him. He loved the other man so much. Sometimes, he could remember some one night stands or very short relationships. He remembered a few different men he'd been with and he didn't know any of their names. When those memories had begun to come back to him, he realized how he'd let each and every one of them walk all over him and treat him like the whore he thought he was. He'd really loathed the person he was before losing his memory. He thought he was weak, that he could've and should've been stronger and more appreciative of the love Peter has always given him. He was striving to be a better, stronger man now, but he still resented the man he'd been before. "You won me over the moment I met you," he whispered against Peter's neck.
A gentle knock on their door startled them both and they scrambled to cover themselves up decently as the door opened and Jon poked his head into their room. "Oh, good. You're awake. It's New Year's Eve, boys. Get out of bed."
Jon came into their bedroom and the two men looked at him as though he were crazy. "Dad, get out," Peter said petulantly.
"Awe. You sound just like you did when you were sixteen and trying to hide the porn you were watching." Peter's face heated up and Neal laughed quietly, kissing his husband's jaw. The two men watched Jon go into Peter's dresser. "If I let you two take your time getting dressed, you'll never come downstairs."
"I'm going to climb out of bed naked if you don't get out," Peter said.
Jon turned towards his son and raised an eyebrow. "Go ahead." He chuckled when Peter's face became even redder than it had been. "You seem to forget that I watched your naked little butt come into this world, Peter Michael. By all means, get out of bed." He went back to grabbing clothes for Peter and tossed them onto the bed.
Neal watched Jon and glanced at Peter a moment later. Peter could read Neal's mind and nodded. Slowly, Neal slid out of bed. His side was closest to his dresser and he quickly grabbed his lingerie that he wanted to wear for the day before darting back into bed and sliding under the blanket as Peter lifted it for him. Jon turned to glance back at them and Neal just smiled at him, pretending he hadn't just quickly pulled his naughty underwear out of his dresser with his father-in-law in the room. "I'm just going to wear one of Peter's shirts."
Jon nodded and grabbed another shirt for Neal. He was looking for something nice for the two to wear and kind of wanted them to match. He and Hannah wore matching shirts—at the very least—every New Year's Eve. "Oh, I see," Peter said when he realized his father had gotten two of his similarly colored shirts. "Forcing your tradition upon me and my husband, are we?"
"I'm going to assume Neal's mature enough to search for his own pants." Neal snickered quietly when Peter made a disgruntled sound. "Get dressed and come down before your waffles get cold. Nicky and the twins are already eating."
"Thanks, dad," Peter said sarcastically, earning a grin from his father before the older man exited his sons' bedroom. "Well, that was pretty mortifying."
Neal shrugged. "You could've gotten out of bed. I don't mind you being naked." Peter smirked at him before giving him a gentle kiss.
Both men slid out of bed and dressed themselves. However, Peter had a harder time keeping his hands to himself. He stood behind Neal with his hands tracing each and every muscle in Neal's abdomen. Neal's breathing quickened when Peter slid one hand a little lower and the other towards Neal's right nipple. "You like that?" Peter whispered in his ear, eliciting a shiver from the younger man as Neal nodded. He pinched Neal's nipple gently and rubbed his other hand over Neal's bulge covered by lingerie. "Mm…" Peter moaned in his ear, planting a gentle kiss against the sensitive spot near Neal's ear.
Neal gasped and whispered, "I'm gonna come." Peter hesitated for a moment. He hadn't realized he'd been stimulating his husband that much. "Oh, my God. Don't you dare leave me hanging like this."
"You want me to get you off?"
"You got me this close. You might as well finish," he said breathlessly. Peter was hesitating and Neal was tempted to touch himself to get it over with until Peter spun him around and pushed him onto the bed. Neal was taken by surprise, but a thrill surged through him when Peter knelt in front of him, pried his lingerie out of the way, and began to suck on him. Neal gasped as he quickly came in Peter's mouth. "Holy… Wow." Neal relaxed on their bed and waited until Peter came up before smiling. "That was rather bold," Neal said, sounding amused. "I like it."
Peter shrugged and chuckled. "Didn't want you to make a mess of this beautiful thing," he said as he stroked Neal's black, lacy lingerie and allowed his fingers to trail up and down Neal's thighs. Seeing the name engraved into Neal's skin made his heart hurt, but he still stroked over it nonetheless. Someday, he wanted to encourage Neal to cover it up with a tattoo, but he had no idea how they'd do that considering it went across his thigh. It wasn't small nor was it a straight-across scar. "You look beautiful," he whispered when he met Neal's eyes.
Neal immediately sat up when Peter readjusted his lingerie and he held Peter's face between his hands, kissing him slowly before whispering, "You make me feel beautiful."
The older man loved their close proximity, loved listening to Neal breathe, and couldn't resist giving his husband another loving kiss. "Okay, my angel. We should get dressed before my dad comes back in here." Neal rubbed his thumbs over Peter's cheekbones for a few moments before nodding and releasing the older man's face.
Peter glanced at the fading bruises on Neal's hips when Neal stood up. He watched his husband and realized that Neal really wasn't hurt by them. He smiled a little to himself as he pulled his blue shirt on after buttoning his jeans. If pushing Neal onto the bed hadn't proved that Neal's been telling the truth, he didn't know what would. Neal never would have allowed any of this if he'd been essentially thrown down onto the bed by Peter. It'd taken Neal's control away when Vincent threw him down onto the bed before raping him and Peter didn't want to make his husband relive that. The fact that Neal actually enjoyed it spoke volumes to the older man. "Do we do anything special for the new year?"
"We did one year," Peter said softly.
Neal walked over to him and hugged him the moment he was fully dressed. "That was special." Peter held Neal against him, kissing his shoulder. He loved the way Neal's heart was beating as they were pressed together. "Every day with you is special. I'm grateful for each and every moment I spend with you." Peter was awed by that. It was a typical Neal response and he absolutely adored it as he squeezed his husband gently. Considering how awful he's felt about himself and their change in lovemaking, this was just what he needed.
•◊•
"I'm so fucking jealous," Peter muttered under his breath as he glanced towards the dining room from the living room couch. Jon chuckled when Peter added, "He lost his memory and he stills makes food better than I do."
"I thought you were always good when it came to pot roast," Jon teased, earning a glare from his son. "You made it for dinner every New Year's Eve while you were in college. Mom and I thought it was great."
Peter sighed. "I married a man who could have a fabulous career in the culinary arts. He cooked a lot for us because he was used to cooking for himself, Mozzie, and Nicky before he met me." Sighing again, he muttered, "He rarely—if ever—burns the food."
Nicky came into the living room and darted at Peter, jumping onto his lap. Peter, taken by surprise, hadn't positioned himself properly and wound up with a knee to the groin. Nicky immediately noticed that he'd hurt his poppa and forced a small smile as he nervously said, "Sorry, poppa."
Holding a finger up, he swallowed hard. Jon and Nicky both watched him silently. It looked like Peter was holding his breath and Nicky began to look worried the longer Peter was silent. "Okay," he finally said. "First of all, Jesus Christ, buddy. You're not so little anymore." Nicky's face heated up as he curled up against Peter and Peter wrapped his arms around his son. "Second, it's okay. I'm fine." He kissed Nicky's head and smiled a bit. The twins were playing on the floor in front of them and Peter really loved that Nicky still liked being this close to him.
"I'm still little enough," Nicky murmured, eliciting a chuckle from his poppa. "When I outgrow you—"
"Oh?" Peter challenged him. He squeezed Nicky and loved the way the teenager laughed. It sounded so much like Neal's laugh. "Your daddy is still shorter than me and you seem to have everything your dad has, so I'm just going to assume you'll end up being pretty close to his height."
Nicky giggled and writhed around when Peter began to tickle him. "Poppa!" he cried out in between laughs and giggles. Peter kept tickling him just to hear him laugh so happily. He loved when his family was happy—and loved it even more when he made his kids happy, especially Nicky. Nicky was his first real experience with a child and was, technically, the only one of his three kids who was a 'stepson.' Keeping in mind the awful stories he heard about stepfathers and stepchildren, he enjoyed making Nicky happy. He'd adopted Nicky when he married Neal, so Nicky was their son no matter what. Nicky had never called him a stepfather the way Neal had spoken about Vincent. From the start, he'd just been Peter and then he'd become poppa. "Poppa, stop!" Nicky finally said while laughing. He was attempting to tickle Peter in return, but Peter was better at it than he was.
Chuckling, Peter stopped tickling his son and held him close, kissing his cheek. "Love you, kiddo," he whispered.
"I love you, poppa." Nicky hugged him and sounded breathless as he did it. He was so much like his father when they hugged. Nicky's embrace was just as warm and full of love as Neal's. "I love you a lot."
Jon watched his son and grandson in awe. He loved the father that Peter had become because Peter never thought he'd be a father upon realizing he and Elizabeth couldn't conceive together. When Peter met Neal, that all changed for him. Jon was grateful for Neal in a variety of ways. He was grateful because Neal showed him exactly who Peter has always been, how Peter has always felt, and Neal brought this fatherly essence out of Peter. Above all of that, Jon always loved how happy his son was now.
Holidays that Peter and Elizabeth spent with them hadn't been terrible by any means, but it was always so obvious that Peter wasn't happy. Sitting beside his son and grandson on New Year's Eve, Jon could see a major difference—a very, very positive change in Peter's life and happiness. This was what he'd always wanted for Peter. It just took the right man to bring Peter out and give him the happiness and love he was seeking.
In the dining room, Neal stood very still and just watched his husband and son. His eyes watered and he couldn't help smiling as he'd watched Peter. Peter loves the teenager a great deal and was happy to do whatever he could to make the boy laugh and smile. He'd watched it all because Nicky's laughter made him leave the kitchen to see what made his son so happy. It really wasn't a surprise to see that it was Peter.
While he'd been standing there, he had a brief flashback. He remembered being very young and being played with and loved by a man the way Peter played with and loved their son. He assumed that he wasn't any older than five years old and that the man was his father, but he wasn't entirely sure. It definitely hadn't been Vincent. Nonetheless, Peter had brought out a nice memory from Neal's own childhood simply by playing with their son. He appreciated it, considering all of the negative things he'd remembered from his childhood and teenage years. Above all of that, he really enjoyed watching Peter and Nicky. Nicky, at nearly sixteen years old, still acted like the little boy Neal could see in his head sometimes.
Neal headed back into the kitchen when everything had settled down and Hannah asked, "Is that a little smile I see?" Neal's small smile transformed into a grin and Hannah loved that. "Peter has to be responsible for that," she teased him.
"I love that man so much," he said quietly in response, moving over to the oven to check on the pot roast. "He makes Nicky laugh and I love it. He loves Nicky so much and I can see it when I watch them." Hannah nodded, leaning against him when he straightened up and closed the oven. "He's a wonderful poppa and I'm very lucky to have him."
"You're the one who made him a poppa," Hannah told him. "If you didn't have Nicky when he met you… I don't know." Neal gave her a curious look. "He was pretty discouraged when he and Elizabeth couldn't have children. I don't know if he ever would have adopted if he'd stayed with her. His very first adoption was your son—and you can see how beautiful the two of them are." Neal nodded and smiled softly. "Sharing your son with him made him the man and poppa he is right now. Peter's always been a wonderful man and it's nice to see that you and the family the two of you made bring out the best in him."
Neal hugged Hannah and chuckled quietly before whispering, "Thank you for not using contraceptives the night you conceived him." Hannah laughed when she returned his embrace.
She kissed his cheek and retorted, "Who said it was during the night?"
The two of them snickered until another voice said, "Mom, what are you doing to my husband?"
Hannah kept laughing quietly even as she and Neal pulled away from each other. Peter raised an eyebrow at his husband who was grinning broadly. Whatever his mom said obviously made Neal happy—and Peter loved seeing Neal happy. "We were talking about you," the younger man finally said while trying to keep himself from bursting into laughter. He absolutely loved Peter's parents. Neal felt comfortable saying some naughty things with them regarding him and Peter or Hannah and Jon. In fact, he loved the teasing between them.
"Do I want to know?"
"He was thanking me for not using a condom with your father when you were conceived." Neal couldn't help himself and burst into laughter when Hannah rested her hand on his back and laughed quietly with him. Peter just stared at his husband incredulously. Neal was quite bold and Peter actually did like that, but really? Neal actually said that? "He saw you and Nicky, so—"
Peter made a quiet sound and said, "Ah, I completely understand then." His incredulous stare became softer as he watched his husband. Neal was trying to contain himself and Peter thought it was adorable. "My beautiful brat," Peter said as he neared Neal, pulling him into a tight hug. He heard Neal sigh contentedly and felt Neal's heart beating very quickly. Hannah slipped out to give the two of them a little bit of privacy and Peter whispered, "I can't believe you said that to my mom, but I love what you meant by it."
Neal nuzzled his face against Peter's and whispered, "I feel free enough to speak my mind when I'm comfortable." Peter loved that. He loved how much comfort Neal has expressed since his relationships with his family members had gotten better. It'd been a struggle at first, but it was nothing they couldn't overcome. "By the way, dinner's almost done—no thanks to you." Peter slapped Neal's ass and the sound Neal let out had Peter laughing. It was something like a squeak and a cry mixed together. "Ow. That really wasn't nice," he muttered. "Feel free to do that in the bedroom, but not when I have to sit at the dinner table in a few minutes… Insensitive bastard…"
Peter froze. He wasn't sure if he'd really hurt Neal. Neal was still pressed against him and he didn't know if he wanted to see the pain he'd inevitably see in Neal's eyes. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely.
The younger man groaned and muttered, "Peter, I was teasing. It didn't hurt that bad." He retaliated by sliding both of his hands down to grab Peter's ass and Neal was surprised by the quiet moan Peter let out when he pressed their lower halves closer together. "Oh. You like having your ass grabbed, do you?"
"Just by you."
Neal smiled up at him and whispered, "I'll make a habit of that in the new year," before slipping out of Peter's hold to check on dinner again. Peter stared at his husband in mild surprise. Not for the first time since once of them had pressed themselves together in a fashion similar to the way Neal had pulled Peter against him, Peter found himself wondering if he and Neal could switch positions in bed—just to try something new. He tried to shut down that thought process, but he couldn't help the fact that he was interested in asking Neal at some point to see where he stood in regards to that now. In a way, he really wouldn't mind seeing Neal's dominant side while they were together. In fact, he honestly wished he could have that kind of intimacy with Neal. He was just so damn afraid to ask…
•◊•
Peter smiled when Neal sat on his lap after cleaning up the mess they'd all made. From about eight o'clock until about eleven thirty, they'd all been playing board games. Neal occasionally stepped away to clean up snacks that were thrown around by his very competitive husband, son, and parents-in-law. He also took care of the twins while the others were all riled up.
Once the games had come to an end, Neal was honestly relieved. Now he could just enjoy the last few minutes of twenty-fifteen with his family. The twins were sitting on the floor in front of their fathers and Nicky was sitting beside his grandparents on the other couch.
Neal smiled at Peter when Peter kissed his neck and wrapped his arms around him. "I'm really hoping things get better for all of us this year," Peter whispered against his husband's throat.
"They will," Neal assured the older man. "Everything will get better. We just need to think positive and do whatever we can." He laid back against Peter's chest and loved when Peter rubbed over his heart. "I want this year to be better for us. We all deserve that."
Peter silently nodded his agreement and they went back to watching the television. The two of them weren't really paying attention to anything until the last five minutes. "I wish I could propose to you all over again," Peter admitted. "I want to see your reaction again."
Neal teased, "It's a little late now, but feel free to do that next year." Peter chuckled and nodded. "I mean that. You can propose to me again if you want to. I really wouldn't mind. Just…give yourself time to work it through again if you're serious about it."
The older man was absolutely awed by his husband. "You're such a sweetheart."
"Only because I love you so much and want you to be as happy as you make me."
Peter nuzzled their faces together, bumping their noses playfully and laughing quietly until Nicky said, "Guys, we have one minute left of this year."
The two men quieted down and Peter twisted Neal a bit, pulling his legs up onto the couch. Neal was sitting sideways on his lap because he wanted to give Neal a perfect kiss to start off the New Year. Neal seemed to pick up on that and Peter was inclined to make it happen regardless. To him, there was no better way to start the New Year than kissing the man he loves more than anything.
Peter, Neal, Nicky, Hannah, and Jon all counted down the second it began, watching the ball come down in Times Square. They honestly could've gone there to watch the ball drop, but it was better to spend the last day of the year together as a family. It was intimate and what they all preferred.
Five. Four. Three. Two. One.
Neal smiled at Peter immediately and Peter initiated a loving kiss with his husband. Peter's left hand rested on Neal's hip, but Neal's hands framed Peter's face while they kissed. The moment they parted, they both breathlessly whispered, "Happy New Year," to each other.
Both men rose up from the couch and kissed the twins, murmuring the same thing to them even though the twins were tired and didn't really understand what was going on, before doing the same with Nicky and their parents.
Everyone was actually ready for bed by this point and the twins were starting to fall asleep when their fathers carried them up to their cribs. "Are you tired?" Peter whispered to Neal after setting Brie down in her crib.
"No. Have something in mind?" Neal answered after laying Joey down and covering him up.
"Not particularly. I just want to enjoy you—and not sexually, I mean." Neal smiled at Peter as Peter neared him and nodded. He liked how that sounded. They could make love whenever they wanted. Neal could see that Peter wanted to appreciate him in a different kind of way to start off twenty-sixteen and he wasn't opposed to that at all.
Peter led Neal back into their bedroom and quietly closed their door. "How do we usually spend the first day of the new year?"
Peter shrugged as he rested his hands on Neal's hips. "It doesn't matter how we used to spend our holidays together," he said softly. He looked right into Neal's eyes as he added, "We can make new memories, new holiday traditions, new everything… The past is the past. You—as you are right now—are my present and my future." Neal didn't know how to respond to that. He absolutely loved every word Peter said to him, but he didn't have the words to respond properly. "I love you. Let's just start the new year with that."
Neal lifted his arms and wrapped them around Peter's neck, clasping his hands behind Peter as he smiled softly at his husband. "I love you, my beautiful and very handsome husband. I can't imagine being anywhere else but here—with you. Being with you is the perfect beginning and end."
The older man absolutely agreed. "You've been my New Year's kiss every year. Elizabeth and I never shared that, but you and I do. Starting a new year with you is the epitome of perfection." He led Neal to their bed and waited until Neal got himself comfortable. He couldn't help smiling at his husband affectionately. Neal was nearly lying on his stomach and Peter felt compelled to sit right in front of him, crossing his legs for comfort, so he could just stare at the man he was grateful to have every New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.
Neal's little smile made Peter's heart flutter. He'd laid down on top of their blanket and bent his left arm, scrunching the blanket up beneath his left shoulder and resting his left hand near his face. He looked so damn cute and his eyes lit up as he stared up at Peter. Peter watched Neal's right arm stretch across the bed and he couldn't resist pulling Neal's hand back a bit, intertwining their fingers and resting their hands on his left leg. "I love you," Neal whispered again. "I love that you're the one I end and begin my years with."
Peter gently squeezed Neal's finger before relaxing his grip. He loved this man more than words could ever express. He loved the man Neal is, loved the words that came out of Neal's mouth… He loved Neal's beautiful face, his gorgeous body, his stunning smile, and the affectionate gleam in his brilliant eyes. "I want to spend every end and every beginning with you," he whispered. "I'm so grateful to have you, to have your love…"
"You will always have me and my love," Neal assured him. His smile and the look in his eyes never faltered for a moment. He was so inexplicably happy and Peter's breath was taken away by that pure, innocent happiness. There weren't enough words to perfectly describe the way Neal looked to him in that moment.
"The last several years have been the best. I've been so happy, I've been given a beautiful family, and I have things to look forward to. I look forward to every moment of every day I spend with my loved ones." He leaned forward, lifted their hands, and kissed Neal's hand before resting it on his leg again. "I wonder… Do you happen to know what I appreciate more than anything else? Do you know what I consider as the best part in my life?" Neal, still as affectionate as he was before, made a quiet sound. It sounded like a mix between a content sigh and a mumbled, light laugh. Peter stared at his beautiful husband, loving the way Neal looked at him. Neal's eyes had never lied to him and they weren't lying now. Neal never had to utter the words 'I love you' to him because he could see Neal's love every time their eyes met. It meant so much to him that Neal always genuinely loved him, always looked genuinely happy to be with him, and always managed a genuine and considerably beautiful smile because of him. This was exactly how he wanted the year to begin. He whispered, "The best part is you."
A/N: Happy New Year! I apologize for not getting this chapter up sooner, but I hope everyone's year has started off well and that you all have a fantastic 2016! As an aside, I posted a small edit on my Archive of Our Own account that gives you a visual that inspired the end of this chapter. My username is the same on that website and the edit is titled "The Best Part is You" if you're interested in seeing it. And, as always, thank you all for continuing to read this story and its predecessors. It means a lot to me and keeps me inspired to write more. Again, Happy New Year!