So I've had this character in my deck for a while. I. fucking. love. him. He's so good. Too good. Altair and Malik do not deserve a man like him.
Malik was tired when he made his way back up to Altair's rooms. Jari was at the door and put his arm across it when Malik made to go in. "What?" Malik asked, confused.
"Altair said he wishes to dine alone."
"What?" Malik said again. Was Altair angry at him? He didn't think so. They'd been fine the past few weeks and hadn't bickered about anything. Well except for Zonira. But that wasn't enough for Altair to be mad about something. Not when the bastard had won. Or was this about the other day? It couldn't be. Altair knew it was an accident and had been acting normal the last few days since. If that was it he would have been avoidant. So what was it?
"He said he wants to eat alone," Jari said. "He also said you had a guest in your room and he'll see you after if you desire. But not now."
Malik was fully thrown for a loop. A guest? A guest he was meeting alone and not with Altair? He hadn't heard of receiving any guest. "I have a guest? Who is it?"
"I did not see them," Jari lied right to his face. Meaning Altair had instructed him not to tell. So it was a surprise or a secret. Malik didn't know if he liked this surprise or not.
"Will this make me irritated?" Malik asked Jari with a sigh.
"I don't think so," Jari shrugged. "I don't believe Altair meant it as such."
Malik sighed. He had honestly just been looking forward to eating dinner with Altair, laying with him before bed, playing with the cats and just relaxing. "Very well. Tell Altair I'll see him after dinner I guess," he said, confused.
"I will. Kamal will come along in a bit for your meal," and Jari stepped back when Malik turned away.
Malik went to his rooms and was surprised that the lamps were lit. Three people were waiting for him inside and Malik's brow furrowed. It was Sidra, an older woman in a perfectly modest hijab. She looked like Malik's mother and had a tongue to match. Her hijab was red and gold and Malik thought she looked splendid and regal. On either side of her were two of the fortress doves shrouded in muslin veils and billowing garment so you could only see their eyes. They looked like wispy clouds at sunset next to the statuesque Sidra.
Malik just stood at his open door, staring. Was he hallucinating? He quickly checked down the hall to make sure he hadn't stepped into some strange fever dream. Jari was at his post, back to Malik.
"Hello, Grand Dai," Sidra said, her voice was velvety and clear.
"Uh… Did I miss something?" he asked slowly.
"No. Come in, it is quite all right," she beckoned. Malik stepped inside and closed the door. He was confused but also curious. What strange madness was this? What was Sidra, the woman who oversaw the fortress concubines, doing in his room? And with two of said concubines?!
"What are you doing here, Sidra?" he asked cautiously.
"The Grandmaster requested my presence," she said and Malik stared at her, horrified. He'd been trying to keep his shit together, to respect Altair's privacy and boundaries. Apparently, he'd not only failed spectacularly but Altair had taken it upon himself to help Malik figure it out. Great. Great! Not really.
"What?" his voice cracked like he was going through puberty again and was further mortified. Especially when one of the veiled women giggled. Oh just wonderful. "He did what? Why?"
"He simply requested my help on mediating your stress level. He's very concerned by how much pressure you're under. So here I am," she turned and smiled at each of her doves. "With some stress relief," she turned back to Malik and he felt his ears redden. Well, he certainly hadn't expectedthis when Jari had told him there was someone in his room. Now Jari's 'Altair will see you after dinner if you desire'. Yeah as if Malik could do this and then go next door and look Altair in the eye knowing he knew he'd just done something with a concubine.
"I appreciate that but that is unnecessary," Malik said diplomatically.
"Nonsense," Sidra said. "My girls have been morose since you stopped coming to see them when you were younger," and now Malik's face flushed.
Like most journeymen and young assassins he'd used the doves… frequently. That was what they were there for since women were otherwise forbidden in the fortress other than as cleaning staff. The cleaning women were a far cry from the doves of the fortress, and usually didn't make eye contact and were sometimes married to Assassins themselves or were the wives of the men in the village. They never spoke to the assassins or the novices except now and then to scold a novice for being rowdy or disrupting their work or making a huge mess. The fortress doves were a loud bunch who gossiped and talked and flirted and were as well trained as assassins in their own art. Malik had even heard a rumor (they'd all heard the rumor and Malik was sure assassins four generations ago had heard the same rumor) of a dove stabbing an assassin in the side when he was too rough with her. The doves knew the names of every man who visited them and were usually a young assassin's first woman they laid with and were very good at it. Malik's face heated more being reminded. The dove who'd made him a man had been so efficient he'd been finished in moments. Thankfully he didn't have that problem anymore.
"Yes well- as I said, this is unnecessary," Malik swallowed and tried to make himself stop blushing. He could see the quiet amusement in the doves' eyes and he felt mildly humiliated.
Sidra sighed a little. "I insist," she said. "In fact, the Grandmaster insists as well. He wants to know you are in peak condition which is starting to diminish with the weight of responsibilities you're burdening yourself with. Now, which one would you like to try?" Sidra made a slight hand motion and the doves got up.
"I don't need-" Malik stopped talking when the doves got to their feet and dropped their billowing muslin clothing. They were naked underneath and now only wore their veils that hid their faces. Malik wasn't disturbed by them doing this. He was disturbed that one was a man. With their clothes on it had been impossible to tell their gender but naked it was obvious. The woman was shapely with wide hips and a soft waist with handfuls of breasts her long black hair in a voluminous cloud behind her. She looked Malik's age and was beautiful. The man was lithe and toned, but not muscular and looked several years younger than Malik but Malik thought that was because of the choice to shave off all his body hair except that around his privates and lower legs. "Uh…"
"They're here for your benefit, Grand Dai," Sidra said.
"We have… male concubines?" Malik was so surprised he actually said what he was thinking. The girl looked at her male counterpart and giggled a little and Malik felt foolish when the man rolled his eyes a little.
"What? You think you're the only dangerous man we've had come to us needing something… else?" Sidra asked. "My doves are all sorts. Which one would you prefer? Or should I leave them both here for your use?"
"Uh- I do not want either," Malik said awkwardly. Well lied awkwardly really. But it felt like adultery if he did anything with them.
"The Grandmaster said I was to leave at least one here. He said you'd be stubborn and I should not listen to you."
"The Grandmaster is presumptuous is what he is," Malik said but could still not stop staring at either of them.
The woman was beautiful but so was, in a strange way, the man, and Malik could not stop looking at him. He'd never seen him when he'd gone down to the garden when he'd been younger, or any man for that matter. Only women. Well except the guards who ensured the doves were looked after and no harm came to them. Sometimes one of their men could get violent with the woman they were bedding and it was their responsibility to deal with that.
Now that Malik was thinking about it he'd never seen those shifts on the guard shifts and Navid never spoke of giving that guard detail to his men. Was this man one of the guards? Malik had another worried thought. Did that mean they were an Assassin? Surely not. They couldn't afford to lose anyone and Malik and Altair would have noticed if some novices had been sent to guard the doves. As it was they had to authorize any journeymen track. There was no way to just spirit one away.
Sidra just pretended not to hear him. "Shall I leave the girl?" she asked. Malik hesitated. He didn't want either but if he was being forced he wouldn't have picked her. Not that he didn't like women but his frustration wasn't over a woman. He had an image to uphold, didn't he? He hesitated a fraction too long for Sidra. "Noor, get dressed, we are going." Sidra rose gracefully and Malik was slow to correct them. Noor pulled her billowing muslin back up and around her. Sidra grabbed her hand and shooed her out the door. "Good day, Grand Dai," Sidra said.
"Hey, I didn't-"
Too late. Sidra and Noor disappeared out the door and Malik was still too disoriented to have stopped them anyway. He was still sort of spinning.
Malik turned back around and the man was still standing there. Malik prickled in awkwardness. "What can I do for you?" he asked. Pleasant as could be. Malik had to assume he did this often.
"You could start by putting some clothes on, please," he added realizing he sounded very mean.
The man chuckled, "Of course," and they pulled the muslin up around him though only around his waist so his chest was bare. He wasn't insulted or upset Malik had asked him that. Malik nearly jumped out of his skin when there was a knock on his door. Now what?
"Grand Dai, I have dinner," Kamal called from the outside. Right. Dinner. Malik went to get the door and shook himself mentally. He needed to get his shit together. He opened the door but when Kamal made to push it open Malik caught it with his foot. "Uh, sir?"
"Just give me the tray," Malik said.
Kamal blinked at him. "Are you sure?" he asked.
"Yes," Malik said.
"Okay," he said slowly and offered the handled tray to Malik. Behind him Malik could hear the concubine moving about, rustling things. Malik wanted to look and see what he was doing but had enough self-control to not. Malik put it against his hip and held it with one hand. "Do you need anything else, sir?"
"Tell Altair when I see him I'm going to punch him," Malik said and Kamal looked uneasy. "In the face," Malik added. "And I'm going to kill him too." Now Kamal smiled a little.
"I will Grand Dai," Kamal said, trying to keep the smile out of his mouth with limited success.
"Do not disturb me tonight. Not even to come get the dishes. You can get them in the morning," Malik said sternly.
"Why?"
"Kamal," he growled a warning.
"Okay!" and he darted off. Ugh! Nosy child!
"Let me help you with that, Grand Dai," and Malik was so startled he nearly dropped the tray. The man was dressed in a guard's uniform, without weapons or harness. Just the whites and Malik was helpless when he took the tray in both hands. Malik quickly kicked the door closed. The man put the tray down on the big rug and started to set out their dinner.
Malik went over to him slowly. He still felt disorientated by the entire thing and hasn't had a chance to get his head around what was going on. The man even wore his hood up and Malik just sat down slowly. "Where did you get that uniform?" he asked once the tray was empty.
They looked up at him. "It's my outfit of course," he said and leaned back some. "I'm not here to make you uncomfortable, Grand Dai."
"Then what was that?" Malik asked, meaning Sidra.
They chuckled, "Mother Sidra likes her dramatics is all. She's got nothing better to do other than scold the men who use my sisters roughly. But this is my outfit, same as them in their pretty veils and muslin. Most of those I see are used to men dressed like this, it makes them uncomfortable otherwise."
Malik couldn't help himself, "And how many is that?"
He smiled a little, "More than you'd expect."
"What's your name?"
"Kabir," he said cheerfully. Malik was so thrown with just how… Happy Kabir sounded. There was no blood on his hands or death clinging to his shoulders. "It is an honor," he bowed a bit sitting and Malik flushed. "Please, I know you've had a long day. You should have dinner. The Grandmaster told us to make sure your surprise didn't stop you."
"He did now?"
"Mhm! He was very concerned for your well-being, so please don't be cross with him. Or punch him," he added.
Malik eyed Kabir but the man didn't make him that uncomfortable now that he was in normal clothes. He helped himself to his dinner. It immediately got awkward again when Kabir did not join him. "You too. It's uncomfortable eating and you are not," Malik told him.
Kabir smiled. He was very good at that. Smiling. "Thank you. I was not going to presume." Kabir helped himself.
"How old are you?" Malik asked because he couldn't shake the thought. Naked, he looked significantly younger than Malik. Haytham or Jari's age, but with his hood up and dressed in real clothes he looked more Malik's age. It was bothering him.
"Forty, why?"
Malik blinked. "You lie," he accused, but not without good nature in his tone.
Kabir laughed. "Nope. I turned forty in the summer. Why? I do not look forty?"
"I thought you were my age," Malik said.
"You? Hah, no. Though I am flattered. Some of your brothers are not so kind."
"They would call you old?"
"Old enough. The younger guards are more entertaining for your young men. They don't want an old man like me, and all my old friends have died, gotten married, or settled."
"Settled for what?"
"That they would rather be alone than pretend for a night," Kabir said sadly. "Not all of them, but many."
"That sounds very sad," Malik said.
"It is, isn't it? Very few happy stories from my friends. Their best friend dies and they come to me and say 'Kabir, so and such is gone, why do I feel this way? Is this wrong of me? How do I mourn them without giving it away?' And they stay with me for a time."
"You know much, as you are not even so old, Kabir," Malik said.
"One of the oldest left. Just like the other doves we retire when we are no longer young and beautiful. Sidra values my experience, though."
Even as he asked Malik flushed, "With what such things?"
Kabir's grin was sweet. "Would you like me to show you?"
"I think I am fine," Malik said but had to clear his throat.
"You don't have to feel bad, Malik," he said and it was the first time he'd called Malik by his name. "I am here to help you. Whatever that may be. Even if it just talk," he gulped his tea. "Allah knows I have had been on this side of this conversation more times than I can count," he giggled. Not laughed, giggled. It was odd but comforting. "Even for guards like me. And all the boys who are confused by what they feel. You know your young scribe has visited me-
"What!" Malik couldn't help but yell. He thought of Kamal as a younger brother, or maybe like a nephew. He knew, just from speaking to him, that Kabir was not some creepy man, but the idea of Kamal doing anything just… weirded him out. It was like when he found out Kadar was a regulardown with the doves and always got into trouble with Dais in various cities with his age mates for seducing girls with his charming smile, cunning tongue, and pretty blue eyes.
"Nothing like what you are thinking," Kabir assured him. "One of the doves gave him to me when he told her he really was just there because a friend had dared him and he had no desire for her. We talked. He is a very nice young man."
Malik hesitated. "Did he confess his feelings for his doctor to you?"
"Eventually," Kabir said like he was commenting on some nice weather. This entire thing did not affect him at all. "The young guards don't know what to do with awkward young novices who doesn't even know what they like."
"Is that a veiled motion that neither do I?"
"Who am I to say?" Kabir asked. Their dinner was done now and Malik couldn't remember eating but he was full and the tea was gone. "I do not care either way. At the very least I know you are curious. And if what Mother Sidra told me, unhappy."
"I am not," Malik said stubbornly.
"Oh, so your feelings and desires are not unrequited?" Kabir asked. Malik had no good comeback for that. Altair responded to Malik's romantic feelings just fine. It was the everything else, his desires, that were not reciprocated. "They are."
"Not so much. Some things are, some aren't."
"Then isn't that unhappiness? That you must lie to them and yourself?"
"I do not lie."
"The Grandmaster would say otherwise," and Malik stiffened. "He is not unaware and has nothing to give you."
"You would know?" Malik asked bitterly.
"Yes," Kabir said. "He comes down and sees me too. We talk. He has since he was a young man."
"Helping a confused novice?"
"Yes. He is… Different. But you will get nothing from him. Affection perhaps, but little else." That made Malik's heart break a little. He'd been afraid of that very thing for years but had been trying to brush it off that he'd… damaged Altair that night in Jerusalem and he did not trust Malik like that. That he could not open up to Malik again like Malik had forced open that one time because Malik had broken something there.
"That is none of your concern," Malik said.
"No," Kabir agreed. "But my concern is with you. Sidra told Noor and I, 'no matter what, make sure the Grand Dai is happy'." Malik flushed at that. No doubt she'd been told by Altair to do that. "There is no shame is needing. Even if you must go elsewhere."
"And what if I do not want to?"
"Then I will not force you. But why wouldn't you? There is nothing for you. Would you feel guilty for whatever may come from me? Or are you scared? You don't even know what it means, or how it works." Malik silence was answer enough. All of it. "But I am sure you're curious," Kabir said nicely. "I would be too with someone like Altair around all the time," and Kabir laughed, this time at Malik who's face became so hot you could cook kebab on it.
"He must be very distracting," Kabir teased him a bit and Malik was floundering. He'd never been spoken to like this. Like that his feelings were natural and normal and yes, of course, someone as attractive as Altair would make anyone distracted or frustrated. Just the validation that he wasn't defective in some way from other men made him feel strangely happy. He and his friends used to tease each other about girls like this.
Malik cleared his throat with a slight cough. "He uh, is," Malik said shyly. Kabir smiled at him and Malik weirdly thought the other man was proud of him. Proud of what? That Malik could admit that he had feelings? Coming from a man as giving with them as Kabir that meant quite a bit since Malik was exactly the opposite.
"I'm sure," Kabir said and had moved a bit closer to Malik. "He's a very private man isn't he?"
"Yes," Malik agreed.
"But I'm sure you know him better than anyone, no?"
"Yes."
"Why don't you tell me about him?" Kabir asked.
Malik was about to when he came up short and held his hand out. "I would ask for your secrecy then."
"Of course," Kabir said.
"No, you misunderstand my seriousness," Malik said, tone hardening. "You seem like a nice fellow, but that you would gossip with the doves. There are people who would do much to know secrets about Altair that wish him, myself, and the Order, harm. If I tell you something and I find out that someone else knows; I will kill you."
Kabir was more reserved when he said, "I understand. I will tell no one. Now tell me, about him. Or not even about him. A thousand of your brothers could give me a thousand things that admire about our Mentor. I want to know what you like about him."
Malik felt self-conscious even as he said. "Well," Kabir just looked at him openly. It was so different from Altair who he had to read like a latin script and wrestle the truth from. Kabir wore his emotions freely to the point Malik would have been blind to them had they not been so great and earnest. He saw Kabir would not judge anything he said here. "He is very handsome."
"He is," Kabir agreed. "What do you find most handsome about him?"
Malik could not keep his face under control to save his life this entire meeting. It flared up and down like he was climbing walls. His ears turned a bit pink when he confessed, "His eyes. You can't tell what he's thinking unless you look right into them. Though I think that's just because I know him so well."
"What color are they? Describe them for me?" Kabir said and Malik found that Kabir was lounging on the rugs and pillows next to him, all stretched out and comfortable. Malik imagined that if he was a cat his tail would be twitching gently in pleasure.
"I feel rather foolish with this," Malik admitted awkwardly.
"Do not!" Kabir said cheerfully. "It is good to tell others how you feel. Especially for things like this. There are not many around willing to understand without becoming angry. You do not need to hide or censor. Who am I to judge?" he chuckled. "I have done things that would put some you have to shame."
"I think murder will win," Malik said.
"Ah, then you know nothing of sex," Kabir said, amused. "Now tell me about Altair's eyes," he pressed. Malik was reluctant before doing as he was asked.
Kabir asked him all about parts of Altair. Nothing of his real secrets. He wanted to know all the things Malik liked about him, the things he did that made Malik happy and things that infuriated him. He wanted to know about the cats and grilled Malik for information about Sawsan until Malik was blue in the face. He asked about how Altair treated Malik and their relationship. Which had Malik stuttering and stammering feeling as shy and awkward as a teenage boy. Kabir asked Malik to speak at length on Altair's relationships with others. How he acted towards Kamal and their various door guards and his other friends. He asked what they fought over and how they made up and what was the worst fight and what days stuck out for Malik as being particularly excellent.
It seemed like no time at all when Kabir suddenly yawned. "Excuse me, Malik," he said, covering his mouth.
Malik suppressed his own yawn. "It can't be so late can it?" Malik asked and craned around. The candle clock that Malik had stopped to light when the sun had set was nearly burned down to the stub. That candle burned for five hours. "It's nearly midnight," Malik said, stunned.
"It is? No wonder I'm so tired," Kabir yawned and stretched. "Well, perhaps we should go to sleep."
"Yes?" Malik asked. Kabir got to his feet and cracked his back with a satisfying groan.
"Not together, if you were worried," Kabir chuckled. "You are way too shy for that." Malik had been called many things. 'Shy' was never one of them. "I am ready for my bed, as I am sure you're ready for yours," he yawned again.
"Yes," Malik said.
Kabir lowered his hood finally. He offered Malik a hand and helped pull Malik to his feet. They went to Malik's door. Kabir put his hand on the door before Malik could open it. "We should spend more time together, Malik," he said.
"Is that an innuendo?"
"Do you want it to be?" Kabir's smile was flirty. Malik wouldn't have called it flirty before but now he recognized it for what it was. "You could close your eyes if you wanted. I could be whoever you wanted." Malik flushed. He thought he had that under control by now. "Don't even say you aren't curious. You're in too deep to not be curious." Malik didn't deny him that.
"Kabir, you are a very strange man," Malik said.
Kabir chuckled, "And yet so useful, no? Just like your Altair. Well, goodnight Malik. I'm sure the Grandmaster will call on Sidra again when you inevitably make him uncomfortable with your needs, and I will be back. We'll see if we can't do something about it better next time," and winked at Malik. Before Malik could even protest that there would not be a next time Kabir leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and slipped out of his room. Malik was left standing there, too surprised to go after him.
"He is a very strange man," Malik told himself. He went around snuffing out the lamps Sidra had lit before leaving his room. Christopher was seated down the hall, arms crossed, head bowed. He wasn't asleep, Malik could tell by the way he breathed, but he was resting. Kabir was nowhere to be seen.
Malik went into Altair's rooms. The front room was dark, the older kittens laying about on the rugs and pillows. Sawsan was in her box, her belly was getting bigger every day, and her children slept around her on the rug. They all looked happy and well fed and Malik knew that they'd be up and about in a short time to play with one another before going back to sleep and would do it again before waking a third time for breakfast.
When Malik went into the bedroom it was also dark in there and he could see the shape of Altair's sleeping form on the bed. Malik undressed in the dark and did his best not to fumble around for his sleeping gown. Altair woke when he knelt on the bed and when Malik got in next to him he cracked open his eyes. They were pure gold and almost seemed to glow out against the darkness. "Malik," Altair grumbled in his sleep, reaching for him. "Don't punc' me."
Malik chuckled, "Not this time, habibi," Malik said and kissed Altair's sleepy mouth.
Altair woke a bit more, still able to fall immediately back to sleep if needed, but he could talk. "Is everything fine now?"
Malik did his best not to sigh. "Yes, habibi, it is," Malik lied. His time with Kabir had just made him realize and compounded just how important to Malik Altair was.
"Good," Altair closed his golden eyes and it was like the sun had once more gone to sleep for the night. Malik couldn't help himself and gently stroked Altair's cheek. Altair smiled a bit and snuggled against him. That made Malik happy. Altair put his arm over Malik's side, pressing against his chest and Malik felt his chest swell. Nothing else did at least. Malik closed his eyes and slept, he was happy.
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