A/N: Happy Holidays! It's been a crazy three months for me - between school starting and having to balance being a teacher/curriculum writer, going to Disney World, and still dealing with ongoing health issues. It's kind of crazy that it takes the most hectic time of year for me to crank out an update. Side note - I've been looking forward to writing this chapter for a long time now.

As always, my beta is the ever-fabulous and amazing Hadley Hemingway.

Chapter 36:

If you're not the one for me

Then how come I can bring you to your knees

If you're not the one for me

Why do I hate the idea of being free?

And if I'm not the one for you

You've gotta stop holding me the way you do

Oh honey if I'm not the one for you

Why have we been through what we have been through?

-Adele

Edward's POV

I woke up to feel feather-like brushes against my ribs. Slowly opening my eyes, I peered down to see Isabella wrapped around my torso with her left leg draped over my thigh. Her eyes were open, but she was staring off into the distance, all the while lightly tracing her fingers up and down my side. I didn't dare move – afraid to break her from her reverie and lose this connection.

Last night, Isabella's fainting spell left me feeling overly protective of her. I knew it was no longer my place, and she had plenty of people looking out for her. But I also knew Bella's work ethic and how stubborn she could be. If someone didn't stay on top of her, she would run herself ragged again in a matter of days – especially with the ever- growing threat of James and Tanya. The fact that she was having panic attacks was alarming to me. I was worried how she was processing all the stress.

I'm not sure I even had a rational explanation for why I decided to get in bed with Bella. Now that I was awake and thinking more logically, I knew the only reason I hadn't been kicked out was due to the sleep meds lowering her inhibitions. I certainly hadn't planned on staying the entire night, but when she nuzzled herself into my neck and wrapped herself around me, I was literally trapped underneath her. Not that I was complaining.

Bella mumbled incoherent words, while practically groping me and giving me a major hard-on. I had planned to slip out from under her once I knew she was in a deep sleep, but her body flush against mine put me in the most relaxed state I had been in months, and I quickly nodded off as well.

I stared at her, under hooded eyes, taking in all her beauty as the sunlight gleamed across her face. No matter the position Bella and I fell asleep in, I always woke to her splayed across my chest. Even after all this time apart, our bodies still fell back into their same familiar positions. And while having Bella in my arms had given me the most relaxed sleep I had months, I knew the moment was fleeting. Twice in one week, I had found myself asleep in her bed. While that should have given me hope, instead, I felt hollow. This is where I should be waking up every morning. This is where I would have been, if not for my lies and mistakes. And while I tried to focus on the small steps of progress we'd made, it still felt like there were miles between us.

I closed my eyes and simply focused on her presence. Her heartbeat drummed against my chest, and her soft, rhythmic breaths put me in a lull. Her fingertips made light circular motions in small patterns on my shirt. It was a soft, teasing sensation against my skin. Her fingers slid up a bit further, tickling my ribs, and I reflexively flinched.

Immediately, Bella flew off me, reality now awakening us from our dream-like state.

"Hi," she squeaked out, from the opposite end of the king-sized bed. She had the covers bunched up to her chin - the only type of barrier she could create between us. My body already missed the warmth of her embrace.

"Hey," I rasped. "What time is it?"

Bella squinted and glanced over at the nightstand, before her eyes widened. "It's already noon."

I sat up and leaned against the back of the bed. "Did you sleep well?"

She bit her bottom lip and nodded. I scratched the back of my head, unsure of what to say next. We had shared such an intimate moment last night, and now we were back to being distant.

"Listen, Bella, if I overstepped any boundaries last night…" I trailed off, not knowing how to finish that sentence.

I'm sorry? I wasn't. It was the best night I've had in forever.

She shook her head. "No, I get it; you were trying to help."

I wanted to ask if it had worked, but I already knew the answer - I didn't need to make her say it out loud. Instead, I got out of the bed and walked over to the phone on the desk.

"What are you doing?" She eyed me suspiciously.

"Dad prescribed rest and lots of food and water. I'm simply following doctor's orders." I picked up the phone and called down to the concierge, ordering almost everything off the breakfast menu. When I hung up, I turned back to face her; she still hadn't moved from the bed. God, I just wanted to run my hands through her hair… kiss her lips… tell her that waking up to her was like having my own personal sunshine to greet me in the morning. My chest constricted.

"I should probably get going."

"Wait, you expect me to eat all that food by myself?"

I didn't bother to hide my smirk. "Well, you said you hadn't eaten much the past few days."

I knew what she was implying, but unlike everything else that was unspoken between us, this time I wanted to hear her actually say the words. I needed to hear it.

She huffed and crossed her arms in front of her, clearly waging some inner war with herself. "You can… I mean, if you want to… there's enough food…"

"Why, Isabella Swan," I said, the grin sliding up my face. "I couldn't think of anywhere else I'd rather be this morning than having breakfast with you."

Except back in that bed, with you in my arms.

A couple of weeks had passed since our impromptu breakfast date, and it seemed time truly was beginning to heal my relationship with Bella. We had been spending a significant amount of time around each other, no longer playing some sort of hide-and-seek avoidance game. Granted, most of my interactions with Bella were when we were all together as a group, but it was a setting where she was now comfortable being around me.

Comfortable.

Friends.

These were labels I didn't think Bella could ever even associate with me again, and I would gladly be assigned to whatever category she'd put me in.

But I still wanted more.

It wasn't a constant yearning. Our presence around each other had become so familiar, the pain from our past didn't feel like a dark cloud constantly hovering over us. Bella had lowered her walls a bit more, and we could actually laugh and joke around with each other. But every so often, her guard would slip. Sometimes I'd catch her staring at me, as if her eyes could bore straight through to my soul. Other times, she'd give me gentle touches - a brush against my back, a light squeeze of my hand. I don't think think she realized she was doing it, but the minute any part of her body connected with mine, it would invade all my senses.

Bella was still being torn in two different directions by James and Rosalie, but she seemed now to seek her friends out as stress-relief, rather than try to take it all on by herself. James and Eleazar Denali were still a conundrum, but it seemed as if James had backed off a bit more. I'm not sure if he was aware that we were onto him, or if it was because of his own personal issues with Tanya. On multiple occasions we could hear her screaming at him through the dressing rooms. I wasn't the least bit interested in why she was upset with him, but it was nice to know that James was now on everybody's shit list.

Today, in particular, seemed to be even more hectic than usual because it was Isabella's birthday, and Rosalie had insisted on throwing a huge quarter-century celebration for her. Since her birthday was so close to Halloween, Rose set up a large costume party where Bella would perform and do a meet-and-greet for some of her lucky fans. On top of all that, Jacob Black had arrived back on tour a few days prior to help her celebrate. Even with Isabella stating they were never an item, and Jacob being clearly in love with Vanessa, I was still unreasonably jealous of him. All the time that I had finally earned with Bella had become monopolized by him. I was a second-thought, while Jacob became her priority. I don't know what killed me more, the fact that I was so envious of him, or that I knew I had no right to any of these feelings.

For days, I had been racking my brain over what I could do for Bella's birthday… if I should even do anything at all. I didn't think we had reached gift-giving level yet on the friendship barometer, but it was too special of a day to go unnoticed between us - not after everything we had been through together. But then again, maybe not all birthdays needed to be remembered. I was fairly certain it would be a long time before I felt like celebrating my birthday again; that date would forever be marked as the start of my downfall. Our demise.

Would she look at me on her birthday and just be reminded of how badly I fucked it all up on mine?

But then, I'd remember how we celebrated her birthday last year and how beautiful that moment was - that was a birthday I never wanted to forget.

(1 year ago)

Bella had just arrived in Los Angeles and was planning to spend the next few weeks with me, leading up to her first, very large, intimidating Cullen Thanksgiving dinner. Bella had insisted that being able to spend a straight month together was enough of a present, and she didn't want me to make a big deal out of her birthday. She wanted a quiet night at home - no spectacles, where we could possibly be the center of a media frenzy. But I couldn't resist the urge to lavish her. I got an odd pleasure watching her try to wrap her head around all the luxuries that came with my lifestyle. I knew I was showing off, but I didn't mind because none of it ever really impressed Bella - it just flustered and overwhelmed her. It only made me love the small town girl in her more. Out of all the women who swarmed to be around me, Bella was the only one who didn't care about my money or status. I had no doubt in my mind that if everything came crashing down, and I was left penniless, she wouldn't bat an eye.

Bella had wanted to spend the morning with Charlie, having their traditional birthday breakfast at the only diner in their town. She hopped on a flight and landed in LA just in time for dinner. My BMW pulled up to the curb of the airport, and I quickly found Bella waiting next to two large suitcases. Her eyes were shaded by sunglasses, and she wore black leggings with a long, loose white tank, and a black blazer. I wanted nothing more than to jump out of the car and pull her into my arms, but LAX was a cesspool for paparazzi.

"Happy Birthday, Bells!" I grabbed her bags and quickly threw them in the trunk. "Think you brought enough clothes?"

"It is a month, Edward."

We jumped into the car, and I grabbed her hand, giving it a quick kiss. "I was rather hoping there'd be no clothes worn during that time."

"I'm sure that would make quite the impression with your parents on Thanksgiving."

I chuckled at the mental image. "Well, you may have a few birthday presents lining one side of my closet already."

"Edward," Bella sighed, and I could tell she was already getting uncomfortable with my extravagance. "I'm not your dress-up doll."

"No, you're not, because I'd much rather undress you."

Bella rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at me. Staring at her lips, I couldn't wait anymore to kiss them and devour every inch of her. Without warning, I swerved the car into one of the airport parking garages.

"Edward, what are you doing?"

I didn't respond; I just floored the accelerator up the ramp, until I found a relatively deserted level. Parking in a dark corner, I turned off the car and pulled her towards me. "Come here, baby. I missed you."

Bella quickly unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed over the console, straddling my lap. I groaned out loud, feeling contact with her, and grabbed the back of her head, crashing her lips against mine. She moaned against my mouth, letting me deepen the kiss further, and ground against my now-erect cock.

"Goddamn, woman," I gasped, as I bucked into her. I trailed my lips down her neck and ran my hands along her skin underneath her blouse. "I love you so fucking much."

"Edward," she panted, as I yanked the cups of her bra up over her breasts. "You're… my… oh!"

I let out a throaty chuckle against her breast - her pert, red nipple now between my teeth. Her hips rocked back and forth faster, as her fingers fumbled with my fly. My impromptu makeout session was now turning into a full-on, semi-public fuck… I was getting more turned on by the second. I bunched up her shirt, squeezing both beautiful mounds of flesh, and licked a trail down to her naval. Bella leaned back to give me further access and…

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP

Bella shrieked and jumped forward, clinging to my neck. I nuzzled my face into her throat and laughed. All attempts at being inconspicuous were now moot, since Bella had just laid on the horn.

"Oh, Bella, I missed you so much," I repeated, squeezing my arms around her waist.

Bella sat up, straightening out her shirt and redoing the button on my pants. "Can we continue this back at your place?"

I gave her a quick kiss on the lips and helped her maneuver back over to the passenger seat. "Baby, I plan to continue this every night you're here with me."

We made our way up the 405, as she updated me on everything that was happening with her album. I shared some of the crazy antics from the guys, which had her doubled over in laughter. When we turned west on the I-10 freeway, Bella looked at me, confused.

"Where are we going?"

"To celebrate your birthday," I answered vaguely.

"Edward, I told you I didn't want anything."

"Doesn't mean I wouldn't give you anything."

Bella sighed and flicked on the radio, then remained silent for the rest of the drive. About ten minutes later, I was pulling into a parking lot on the Malibu beach coastline. I hopped out of the car and walked around to open the passenger door. Bella got out and eyed the restaurant suspiciously. We made our way up the sandy path to the door in silence. A sign at the front of the establishment greeted us: Closed For Dinner.

"Well, looks like your plans have changed," Bella said. But the smirk on my face let her know that wasn't the case. She threw her hands up in exasperation. "Seriously, Edward? I'm already hopelessly in love with you! You don't need to keep closing down restaurants to impress me!"

I pulled her towards me, cupping her face in my hands. "And you need to realize that I do all this because I'm hopelessly in love with you."

I leaned in, nuzzling my face against her cheek. "Just let me love you, Bells."

She melted against me, and it took us another five minutes before we finally broke apart from our kiss and entered Gladstones. We spent the remainder of the night enjoying seafood from an enclosed, candlelit patio that overlooked the ocean. After dinner, we took a stroll along the moonlit beach. Once again, we had to pull ourselves apart before our second nearly-public sex scene of the day. I flew through the canyons at lightening speed, eager to have Bella naked and wet beneath me.

I parked the car and practically pulled her up the front steps, leaving the suitcases in the trunk; she wouldn't be needing any of that tonight anyway. As soon as we were inside, she was tearing off her blazer and kicking off her shoes. I hoisted her up, and she wrapped her legs around my waist. Our kisses were rough and frantic as I carried her up the stairs; a trail of clothes followed along the steps leading into my room.

She was already half-naked by the time I threw her onto my bed. In one quick swoop, I grabbed her pants and thong and ripped them off her legs. I stepped back, taking in all her glory.

"God, you're so beautiful, Isabella," I whispered reverently. She reached out her arms, beckoning me to come to her, but I took another step back. "Wait. I have one more present."

Bella sat up, leaning on her elbows. "Edward, seriously…"

I grabbed a light blue box off my dresser and pulled her off the bed to stand. Bella stared wide-eyed at the box, refusing to take it from my extended hands. I glanced down at the box, disappointed and perplexed, until it finally dawned on me how this appeared.

"Relax, Bells," I chuckled. "Neither of us is anywhere near ready for a ring."

I opened the lid and pulled out a diamond encrusted key attached to a chain.

"Oh, Edward," she breathed. "It's too much."

I clipped the chain around her neck, not daring to tell her she had ten thousand dollars worth of diamonds laying against her chest. "Expensive" was such a relative word. In the grand scheme of things, ten thousand dollars was mere pocket change to me. But it wasn't about the money. I couldn't put a price tag on how I felt about Bella - that was absolutely priceless.

"Bella, I've never given my heart to anyone before. But you… without even trying, you've managed to capture my heart completely, and I don't ever want you to let it go. I know it's beyond cliche, but Bella, you are the only one that holds the key to my heart."

Bella pulled me down onto the bed, into a kiss that never ended. Unlike the previous times that day, we made love slowly - exploring each other's bodies as if it was the first time. We professed our love to each other over and over again, until our sweat-sheened bodies eventually collapsed against each other.

Later in the evening, I woke up and sat in the corner of the room smoking a cigarette and watching Isabella sleep. The covers had slipped, revealing her bare breasts… her necklace sparkled in the moonlight. I resisted the urge to climb on top and wake her up for another round. Instead, I watched her rhythmic breathing while a song began forming in my head. After some time, I moved down to my piano to transpose the music.

"It's beautiful," Bella whispered behind me, after about an hour at the piano. I turned around to see her standing in the doorway, a blanket wrapped around her. "Did you just write it?"

I nodded and slid over on the bench, patting the empty space beside me. She quietly padded over. "I was hit with a bit of inspiration tonight. I call it 'Bella's Lullaby.'"

Her mouth dropped, and her eyes widened at the same time. "Play it again."

I obliged, and when I was done, a single teardrop ran down Bella's cheek. I turned her chin towards me and kissed it away. "You're my muse, Bells."

"Edward, this is…" she trailed off, trying to find the words.

"Please don't say too much," I joked.

She shook her head, then grabbed the sides of my face and looked directly in my eyes. "This is the best present you've given me. Thank you."

I replayed her birthday in my head, realizing she wouldn't want a present… She never cared about the gifts. What she cared about was what came from my heart. So what could I give her, when she clearly didn't want my heart? Resigned to the fact that this was probably a lose-lose situation, I walked down to the hotel gift shop to get her a card.

After spending an ungodly amount of time trying to find a card that gave the perfect balance between, "I'm still hopelessly in love with you," and "But don't freak out, so we can just chill and be friends," I stepped out of the gift shop right as James and Tanya were passing me in the lobby.

Tanya noticed me and whipped around, excitedly. "Eddie! Hi!"

Eddie? What the fuck?

James was immediately by her side, pulling her away from me. "Let's go, Tanya."

"James, don't be jealous!" She yanked her arm out of his grasp. "Eddie and I are in the past! You know you're my boo-boo bear."

James grimaced at her words, and once again, tried to steer her away from me. I started examining Tanya, realizing something was off.

"Tanya, what's going on?"

"Stay out of it, Cullen. I'm taking care of her." James was practically pulling her through the lobby.

"James, where are we going? Do you have any more?"

The pieces immediately clicked into place, and I was angry at myself for not recognizing the symptoms sooner: the hyper behavior and dilated pupils… Shit, I knew better than anyone.

"Tanya, are you using?"

James spun around and pushed me backwards. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to deck him right then and there. "Back the fuck away from my client, Cullen."

"Yeah, well, say goodbye to your client because she just broke the rules for this tour."

James crossed his arms and seemed to be sizing me up. "Prove it."

"I'm a fucking addict, you cocksucking piece of shit. I can prove it just by looking at her."

"Unfortunately, your lack of credibility and evidence won't hold up in the court of law," James sneered. "Stay away from Tanya, or I'll file a defamation lawsuit against you."

James grabbed Tanya by the elbow and ushered her out of the hotel. Tanya glanced behind him, smiling broadly, and waved goodbye. I felt sick to my stomach. Not even bothering to wait for the elevator, I ran up the emergency staircase and straight to Emmett and Rosalie's room.

"Bro, what's going on?" Emmett answered my frantic pounding.

"Where's Rose?" I asked, storming into his room.

"In the bathroom, getting ready for Izzy's party. What's wrong?"

I banged on the bathroom door. "Rose! I need you!"

Emmett watched me, warily. "Edward, you're scaring me. Do I need to call Dr. Uley?"

Rosalie came out of the bathroom in a skin-tight cat suit. I looked between her and Emmett and noticed, for the first time, he was wearing a black cape.

"Edward, what's wrong?" Rose asked.

"Tanya's using again."

"Well, then, let's get that bitch off this tour tonight!" Emmett exclaimed.

"It's not that easy," Rose said. "Edward, how do you know?"

"I saw her."

"And you're sure?"

"Christ, you're just as much experts as I am! You've seen it all too! Yes, I'm sure!"

"Okay… Then the first step we need to take is notifying James…"

I laughed. "Oh, he knows. In fact, I'm pretty sure he's supplying it to her. He taunted me tonight, goading me to find proof."

"Why is he giving drugs to Denali's daughter, if James is supposed to be working for him?"

"Something's not adding up," Rosalie agreed with Emmett. "But, if you're right, Edward, we can get all the proof we need. The contracts we signed stated we could be randomly drug tested at any time. I'll get in touch with the lawyers first thing tomorrow morning."

"Why not tonight?" I asked impatiently.

"Because we have a birthday party to get to. Now go get your costume."

I shook my head. "I'm not going."

Rosalie looked offended that I would dare miss out on a grand event she had planned. "Why not?"

"Nightclub… Party… Alcohol…"

"Oh." The realization suddenly hit her. "I'm sorry, Edward, I didn't even think…"

"It's Bella's birthday," I cut her off. "You don't need to think about me."

"I'm sure she'll understand," Emmett spoke up.

I shrugged. Truthfully, I doubted she'd even miss me. "Have fun tonight. Keep an eye out for her, Em, okay?"

"Always."

I walked back to my room to sign her card and possibly make an impromptu call to Dr. Uley.

About an hour later, I had finished a really productive phone call with Dr. Uley, which prompted me to write a heartfelt birthday message to Bella. Knowing that everyone was now at her party, I decided it was a good time to slip the card under her door. I had just turned around to walk back down the hall when I heard the door open up behind me.

Bella stood in the doorway, literally looking like a goddess. She wore a white and gold tunic dress, where the fabric hung over her breasts like two drapes, leaving a trail of skin from her neck straight down to her naval. A high slit ran up her beautifully tanned right thigh, leading up to the gold belt cinched around her waist. Her hair was long cascading curls with a gold band of leaves wrapped around her crown. She was an exquisite vision of beauty, and I could feel myself getting hard just looking at her. What I would give to run my hand up that thigh… to lick and kiss between her breasts. I tried to stifle a groan and shifted myself in my pants to relieve some of the pressure.

"Edward?" Bella sniffled. And for the first time, I noticed her red-rimmed eyes and tear- stained cheeks.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"Ugh." She used her finger to wipe the tears under her eyes, trying to salvage her makeup. "James. Again."

I thought back to him and Tanya downstairs in the lobby and immediately kicked myself for not decking him when I had the chance. "What did that motherfucker do now?"

"He screwed me. He conveniently forgot to mention he scheduled a children's hospital visit for me tonight. So either I go to my party and skip out on visiting a bunch of sick kids… making me look like a complete asshole. Or I skip out on my party, and piss off all the fans who are waiting for their private meet-and-greet. I can't win!"

"It's okay, Bells. We'll come up with a plan." I stepped into her room, closing the door behind me. "Have you talked to Rose?"

She nodded. "They all left for the club a while ago. I was supposed to make my own entrance, but James waited 'til I was alone to spring this on me. Rosalie said she'd call me back in a few minutes."

As if on cue, Bella's phone rang; she put it on speaker so I could hear.

"Alright, Isabella, I'm sending a limo to take you to the Children's Hospital, along with Vanessa and the camera crew to garner publicity. I'll buy you some time here, and then the limo will bring you straight to the club as soon as you're done at the hospital. We'll be cutting it close, but if you stay on schedule, we should be able to pull this off."

"I'll go with you," I offered, after she hung up the phone. "With both of us there, we can get it done in half the time."

"You don't have to do that."

"It's your birthday, Bells. Let me help."

"Alright, let me just change out of my costume."

"Don't. It'll take you too much time to change and get to your party. Besides, the kids will love your Halloween spirit."

Bella raised her eyebrow. "Yeah, but I'll look ridiculous being the only one dressed up."

I walked over to her bed, stripping the long, white sheet off it, and went into her bathroom. "Give me five minutes."

Ten minutes later, we were sitting in the back of the limo - Bella in a beautifully form-fitted costume, while I wore a bunched up bedsheet I slung over my shoulder and wrapped around my waist. In hindsight, my attempts to match her goddess attire looked more like a drunken college toga costume. Bella hadn't said much when I walked out of the bathroom, but now that we were sitting across from one another, she was staring at me with intense scrutiny.

"What?"

"Are you wearing underwear?"

Her question surprised us both, making me throw my head back and laugh. "Now, Bella, why are you so concerned with what's underneath this sheet?"

"Because I would hate for you to go to jail for accidentally flashing your 'Little Edward' to a group of minors."

"Little?!" I scoffed. "Bella, I'm highly offended! We both know…"

"Yeah, yeah… Right now your head is definitely bigger than that."

I smirked at her choice of words and slowly spread my legs.

"Ego!" she reiterated, clearly getting flustered.

I yanked the edge of the sheet up, revealing the bottom of my boxer-briefs. "Relax, Bells. The Embassy won't have to bail me out of jail."

We continued the rest of the ride in silence. She seemed to be lost in thought, and I continued to wrap my head around her "Little Edward" comment. When we pulled up to the private side entrance to the hospital, Jacob, Vanessa, and her crew were standing by the door waiting for her. Vanessa was dressed as Cleopatra, and Jacob was some sort of shaggy dog.

"What are you doing here?" Jacob asked, getting a good look at my outfit.

"Helping out Bella - the same reason, I assume, you're here… unless you're just tagging along with your girlfriend."

Bella smacked my arm. "Quit it," she hissed.

"Great! This is the perfect shot," Vanessa exclaimed to her crew. "God, I could just kiss you two for wearing matching costumes. I want to get the two of you walking in together, and then we'll just stay in the background while you interact with the kids."

I hung back while Vanessa put a mic on Isabella; Jacob stood near me. "What are you even supposed to be?"

"A werewolf."

"You look more like a mutt."

We were behind schedule. Rosalie gave Vanessa strict instructions to be in and out of the hospital in 45 minutes. We had now been there for almost an hour and a half. I should have known better - there was no way Bella was going to willingly tear herself away from a swarm of cute children. If I was being honest with myself, I was having a great time too. There was one little girl with brown, curly pigtails and pink glasses that stuck by my side the entire night. She couldn't have been older than six, but she wanted to have a wedding.

"With me? I don't think I'm marriage material, sweetie… or that your parents would approve."

"No, with her!" she said, pointing to Bella.

Bella was over at a table with a group of teenage girls making bracelets. I was thankful she couldn't hear this conversation.

"I don't think that's gonna happen, cutie pie."

"Why not?" she pouted. "Don't you want to marry her?"

"Can I tell you a secret?" I asked. She bobbed her head enthusiastically. I leaned down to whisper in her ear. "I would marry Isabella in a heartbeat, if I could. But I made a lot of mistakes, and I didn't show her how much I loved her."

"You need to kiss," she said matter-of-factly. "When Mommy and Daddy are angry with each other, they kiss. A kiss makes everything better."

"I don't think it works that way, kid."

"No, it does. That's why Mommy kisses my head every night. She says she's making me better."

A lump formed in my throat; there was no way I could argue with that.

"Anyway, I hope you guys will just hurry up and kiss already. I wanted to make her a crown for the wedding."

"You know, I bet you we could make a crown for her now. She'd still wear it."

"Really?" Her eyes were as wide as saucers.

I sat with her at an arts and crafts table, helping her decorate a wreath with silk flowers and glitter. Feeling as if I was being watched, I glanced up to see Bella staring wistfully at me from the other side of the room. When our eyes connected, she seemed to shake herself out of her thoughts and gave me a smile. I could just imagine how silly I looked at the moment, but I didn't really mind.

My phone rang, and I could see it was Rosalie calling. I excused myself from the little girl's side and stepped out of the playroom. "Hey, Rose, what's up?"

"Have you seen Isabella? I've been trying to get her on the phone."

"Um, yeah. I'm actually with her at the Children's Hospital."

"Of course you are." By Rosalie's tone I couldn't tell if she thought that was a good or bad thing. "Listen, tell her not to bother coming. It's actually better if she doesn't. James threw Tanya up on stage, which just made more people angry that they were waiting for Isabella."

"You're shitting me."

"I wish I was. But I definitely have the same suspicions you have about Tanya. I was able to salvage the night by telling everyone she got held up visiting some sick fans in the hospital and gave them free passes to a private, acoustic performance. So tell her to get some sleep, because she no longer has a day off tomorrow."

"Will do." I almost hung up, but stopped. "Hey Rose - You're doing a fucking fantastic job. You're seriously the backbone of this tour."

It remained silent on the other end, to the point that I thought she had already hung up on me. Then I heard her sniff. "This doesn't change things between us, Edward."

I had to smile at her rough exterior. "I wouldn't want it to."

Knowing we would be leaving soon, I placed one more phone call, before stepping back into the room. I searched for my little friend and found she had already completed the crown and was handing it to Isabella. She graciously accepted it and put it on her head, much to the little girl's delight. The girl pulled Bella's head down and whispered something in her ear. Bella's eyes met mine, then she turned back to the girl and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I walked over to her and relayed the message from Rose.

"Wow, sorry your birthday party was ruined, Isabella." Vanessa and the crew had been standing right next to her and heard everything.

Bella shrugged. "I wouldn't say it was ruined. I'm glad I got to come here."

"Me too," I said. "Thanks for letting me tag along."

While the crew packed up their stuff, Isabella and I gave hugs and said goodbye to all the kids. Right before we walked out, my little friend ran up and threw her arms around my neck.

"Wait! I made this for you too - for the wedding." She clipped a polka dot corsage onto the bed sheet. Bella watched the whole interaction with curiosity. "Don't forget what I told you!"

"I won't." I knelt down to her level and gave her a peck on the lips. "To help you get better."

She giggled wildly and threw her arms around me one last time before running away. I stood up to see Bella's eyes glistening.

"That was really sweet."

"Yeah, well, she's a sweet kid. What did she whisper to you earlier?"

Bella smiled mischievously. "She told me it was a secret."

Before I could grill her any more, she caught up to Vanessa and Jacob, leaving me to wonder if the little munchkin ratted me out to Bella.

Jacob and Vanessa invited Bella to a bar down the street to help her celebrate her birthday, but she declined, saying she'd rather just call it a night. We spent the majority of the limo ride and walk to her room talking about all the little kids we met at the hospital. When we got to her door, we stood there for a moment awkwardly.

"Well, I'll just get my clothes from your room and return your bed sheet."

"I can just call down to the concierge, you know."

She opened the door and gasped when she saw a tower of cupcakes in the middle of the room. There were three tiers of cupcakes, with an icing letter on each one to spell out Happy Birthday Isabella. I stood back, smiling that the hotel was able to pull this all together so quickly after I called in my request.

"My inner fat girl is screaming right now."

She walked over to the tower, grabbed a cupcake, and took a large bite out of it.

"Oh, my God… red velvet," she moaned. A thought seemed to register across her face, and she looked at me. "Did you do this?"

"It was the best I could do on such short notice, but I figured you missed out on your birthday cake at the club."

"Thank you." She took another bite from the cupcake and closed her eyes to fully enjoy it. "Only you know my deep obsession with red velvet."

A clump of icing was still above her lip. I leaned over, wiped it off with my thumb, and licked it off. Bella watched all my movements will hooded eyes.

"Delicious."

"You know, there are two dozen here; I think I can share one with you," she joked, handing me a cupcake.

I leaned forward, trying to take a bite out of the one in her hand, but Bella reached up and smeared the icing across my nose.

"Oh, so that's how we're gonna play, huh, Swan?"

I grabbed a cupcake off the tower, and her laughter ceased. She tried to dart around the table, but I was too fast for her, and I grabbed her in a bear hug from behind. She shrieked as I slammed the cupcake into her face, making sure to smear it all over. She spun around in my arms and tried to scrape the icing off her face, wiping it in my hair.

"You're playing dirty, Bells." My arms still had her trapped against me. "And wasting all this food too."

"It's not going to waste," she laughed, then stood up on her tiptoes and licked the icing off my right cheek.

I couldn't suppress the groan when her tongue ran against my skin. Instantly, she stirred a raging desire deep within me, that I wasn't sure I'd be able to contain.

"Bella…" my voice was tight as I gave her my warning.

She looked at me with a fire in her eyes, then wrapped her arms around my neck and licked my other cheek. I dropped my head into the crook of her neck, trying to control myself.

"Bella…" I warned again. This time I pushed my pelvis into her, just in case she wasn't sure the effect she was having on me. Although, by this point, I was fairly certain she knew exactly what she was doing.

Bella let out a soft moan that completely undid me. I pushed her back against the wall, crashing my lips against hers. She returned my kisses eagerly, and we started a frantic duel - both of us trying to possess the other. She lifted her leg and wrapped it around my waist. My hand slid up her smooth thigh and squeezed her butt cheek, pulling her straight into my erection. She let out another throaty moan and ground against me. The friction was overwhelming with just the cloth of our underwear as a barrier between us. It had been so long since my dick had received any sort of attention, other than my hand. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself not to cum.

I moved my kisses towards her jawline and throat, taking the path down the center of her cleavage that I had only just fantasized about a few hours earlier. Still using one hand to keep her flush against me, I slid my other hand up her torso and under the cloth, cupping her breast.

"Edward…" she gasped.

Just the sound of my name on her lips sent me over the edge. I lifted up her other leg, and she locked them around my waist. I thrust up into her, and she cried out in pleasure. Her hands ran over my chest muscles and pushed the sheet off my shoulder. I sucked and nibbled on her neck, pulling the straps of her dress down.

I leaned back to admire all of her beauty. Her mouth was parted in an O, and her eyes had a lusty, smoldering haze to them. She never took her eyes off me… The fire in them burned straight to my soul.

I stroked her cheek. "You're so goddamn beautiful."

She grabbed the back of my head and kissed me with such intense passion, I thought my knees might buckle.

And then there was a knock on the door.

We both froze.

I silently prayed that whoever was on the other side would simply walk away, and I could go back to exploring every inch of Bella's body.

They knocked again. I cursed against Bella's shoulder.

Wordlessly, Bella slid her legs off of me and lowered herself to the floor. She pulled her straps back over her shoulders, and I tried to adjust myself while she walked to the door.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Y…" the song trailed off, and I saw Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice standing in the doorway, holding a cake, with their mouths hanging open.

"What the hell happened to you?" Rosalie asked. "Oh!"

Almost instantly all their eyes lifted past Bella, and they noticed me standing in the background. With the icing smeared over every inch of our bodies, we had become a naughty, adult version of connect-the-dots - letting everyone know exactly where our hands and lips had been.

"We brought you some cake," Alice said, trying to relieve some of the tension. "But it looks like you already have some."

No shit.

"Who says you can't have cake and eat it too, eh?" Emmett whistled. Rosalie immediately whipped around and punched him.

"Well, we'll let you guys get back to… whatever…"

"We're leaving now!" Jasper cut off Alice. "Happy Birthday!"

Isabella closed the door, having never said a word to them. She leaned her head against the door and groaned. I silently waited behind her, even though I knew what the next words would be out of her mouth.

"This was a mistake."

Bingo.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

She shook her head against the door. "Thank you for the cupcakes."

"It seems they caused a bigger mess than it was worth." And she knew I was referring to more than just the icing all over the room.

"It was still a nice gesture…"

Oh, we had plenty of gesturing.

"I'm sorry," I repeated.

She didn't look at me. "You should probably go."

I felt empty. Mere minutes ago, we were back in each other's arms… where we belonged. In those moments, she knew exactly what she wanted; there was no doubt in her mind. But now, she was second-guessing everything. I refused to continue our two steps forward, three steps back dance.

I let out a sigh and touched her arm, silently asking her to look at me; she obliged.

"I'm sorry."

"Edward, you've already said it."

"No, I'm sorry for this…" I leaned down and captured her lips once more. It wasn't frantic like before - it was soft and slow, but it still held as much passion. Once again, Bella reciprocated the kiss - letting me know that whatever was going on between us was mutual.

I pulled back, panting. "I've made so many mistakes, I can't even keep track of them, Bella. But this is not a mistake. We are not a mistake. We're worth fighting for. And maybe you're scared… maybe you don't have any fight left in you. But I'm willing to fight for both of us. I'm not giving up."