A/N: Go and read my best friend's stories, 1madcat, especially 'if you are what you are not.' and her sisters site, sixfootbeetle.
WHATEVER YOU DO AFTER READING THIS, PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT YOU READ MY AUTHORS NOTE ON THE NEXT CHAPTER, PLEASE, ITS JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING I WANTED TO SAY TO ALL OF YOU. THANKS!
"… My only love sprung from my only hate…"
Once, my dear readers, when I was young and so very foolish, I used to dread waking, to open my eyes and find myself held in the thrall of yet another vision cursed by the Gods, or even worse, to find my blood turned to ice in my veins as I realised that I remember what I was doing, seeing, hearing or feeling, for I had seen it all before, because I was living through my visions. I no longer see the future; such gifts like mine are not meant permanently for mortals, we are not great enough yet to carry gifts meant only for immortal, and I only feel relief that I no longer have those visions, for you out of everyone readers know how much they tormented me. Now that I am old and still foolish, I thank all and everyone of the Gods that every day when I wake I am living through a constant and unchangeable vision, that when I open my eyes it is not to Death and destruction, but to my twin girls as they fight, scream, swear using words that I am afraid they have heard me speaking, and rip each other's hair out, truly I suspect that they inherited the worst of my qualities for they are the best of friends and the closest of all sisters, yet at the same time they are mortal enemies and compete against each other. My son wakes my by climbing on top of me or Lynceus and with a sweet kiss he clambers into my bed because of a nightmare or some hideous creature that his sister have invented solely to scare him, or I wake to my little baby, in her cot next to my side of the bed, screaming and yowling, she, I am sure, has inherited her father's lovely singing voice for she sounds nothing at all like me. It is far from anyone's idea of heaven or paradise, and we are extremely far from being your idea of a perfect family. But, this is my heaven and my children and my husband are all that I have, my only family, and truly all that I will ever need.
How, you may ask me, did you ever arrive that this revelation for it was once that I protested violently as is my nature, that I would never marry and that I would never have a child, and also how did your children survive their up-bringing up to this point? Well… upon my return to Egypt, to my homeland of dryness and heat, of the many fields of sand and occasional oasis', my home palace that once I had left, I did not return to, it carried memories full of Death and I did not want to live there or bring my children up there, instead we returned to Lycneus' home, once I had left here carried, frail and weak, I returned whole, hale and hearty, and so healthy that I even returned to my country with a child! Gods, after the scandal I had left and strewn about in my wake, and especially after dancing that shameful dance with Lynceus the night before I vanished off to Argos, the people of our lands must consider me some sort of fallen woman, it was laughable! Honestly, I do so wish that you could have seen the stares, there I was, stomach too big to be disguised as anything but a pregnancy, and flaunting my marriage ring for I had anticipated this sort of reaction and still I was glared at, you would have thought that I was carrying the child of Zeus, God Almighty, from their reaction to seeing my stomach. Besides their stares I was still insulted, I mean, what did they think, that I had eloped with Lynceus and married him only because I had been big with child? They really were such foolish, petty people and I know not what to think about their foolish petty beliefs, I honestly thought very little of them, and that was a dreadful beginning, I mean I was Queen over them and I already hated them.
Some time, around then, when I had come to Lynceus' home and tried to adjust back to living in Egypt, it was then that I fulfilled one of my visions. That day I had, being swollen, very fat, heavy and extremely irritable, gone to the river to cool down. Whatever it was that I was carrying inside of me could not possibly have been a normal human, it weighed a good deal too much, I only wish that instead of me having to put up with this for nine months, that Lycneus could have, that would have stopped him from laughing at me as I complained and moaned about feeling sluggish and tired, he most certainly did not make me feel any better. Lynceus had come with me because apparently now, simply because I was pregnant and it happened to be his child, that I needed supervision, Gods men, stupid annoying useless men! Trying to show him that I was still Hypermnestra and that I could still take care of myself, even though I could no longer see my toes, I reached out and grabbed a reed, hitting him around the head with it whilst he was unawares was very satisfying, although it did make him pick me up and drop me down into the filthiest, most vile smelling, most disgusting water you have ever, in your entire life imagined. Not only was I now heavy, fat and extremely irritable, I was fat and dirty and I smelled atrocious, I was also really furious, and the damn baby was kicking like it wanted to kick it's way out of my stomach and burst out into the river water. Gods, where were they when I needed them?
I picked up a large handful of the mud and threw it at him, his face was soon covered in the stuff and he could hardly do anything bad to me for I was already waist deep in the foul water, besides that my face was coated in it, my hair was saturated with it and hung in limp strands down my back, and my baby was surely going to be polluted by the stuff the longer I stayed in here! Eventually, Lynceus leaped into the water and picking up a reed, we had a very violent, bloody and pleasing fight, ending with me holding his head under the water while he choked and spluttered and hopefully drank most of it up, and then finally begged for mercy from me, which of course I gave after some time!
That night I fell asleep quickly, wondering whether my baby would decide that tomorrow that it would be born, myself, Eros, Artemis and Lynceus had been having an argument on whether the baby was a boy or a girl, I was convinced that it was a boy, I mean I had seen them, I knew, while Eros had placed a bet that it was a girl, Artemis agreed with him and Lynceus agreed with anyone whose opinion would annoy me. If it was a girl that would mean that I was going to give birth to twins and that I just could not cope with just yet, fool that I was! I thought that I knew better than the immortals! Fool that I am!
I woke up with a smile, on my sheets of silk, my head resting on a pillow so soft, so comfortable, but I was anything but comfortable, last night even with all the windows letting a breeze come in and Lycneus rubbing circles on my big stomach I had not slept. In the morning, I was so hot and could not sleep, and apparently, neither could my child for it was kicking as if it deliberately wanted to wake me up, and besides the kicking, my child felt as if it was as tall as Lynceus, I swear that I could feel the baby's feet right up in my chest it was that long. I thought that perhaps if could sit up and stretch then maybe my child would settle down and I could sleep again. I sat up and turned, to see myself in the polished silver that was our mirror opposite the bed, I looked about, there were some lovely things in this room, tapestries and silk embroideries, I looked at myself, and smiled, glad that I had short hair or else this torturous phase of my life would have been even worse. Then I froze, I remembered this, I remembered looking in the mirror and I remembered this room, I was living my vision where I was pregnant. I smiled again, I had chosen the right path after all, the path that I had been so scared of when I had been young, and trust me, I was still terrified now or it, scared of failure, of doing something wrong.
I pulled the sheet off Lynceus' head, was he not hot enough what with this God cursed weather? His mouth slightly open and breathing heavily, he slept as if he had not one care in the world, peacefully, without a baby kicking, without a baby putting it's feet up into his chest, the sight of him sleeping really annoyed me, why should he sleep when I could not, I mean it was his fault that I was like this, wrapping one hand around my stomach and tapping slightly to tell it to give in. I kicked him hard and viscously until he woke up groggily looking at me.
"What was that for?" His words slurred slightly, he looked as if he was still sleeping.
"The baby sent it, as a present. I thought that since you could not fully experience it yourself, then I should help you, I mean, you would not want to miss out, would you?"
Forgive my evilness readers, I have an explanation for it, I was pregnant and could not control myself. The baby came that day and it was not a baby, but two babies, my twins, my double trouble. I named them Melanie and Phoebe, Melanie was dark and Phoebe was light, both names were Greek and though dark and light were totally different, my girls were as alike as peas in a pod, and I loved them each so much, my first babies.
Do not get me to describe to you the horrors of giving birth to them, I had never given birth before and I knew not what to expect, Artemis tried to explain, but what she was describing was so hideous that I ignored until it was actually happening to me, and then afterwards, after my girls had been born, I held both of them, one in each arms and together both myself and Lynceus and Artemis and Eros cried, my tears washing away the blood from their tiny foreheads. My girls, I decided, would have everything, they would be loved in all the ways that I had never been by my father and they would have everything that I had always wanted and never had. My babies, my girls would be spoilt rotten. Eros fell in love with them the moment that he was allowed back into the room, he held them and kissed them, Artemis was much the same, as for Lynceus, well… I am not quite sure what precisely it was that I was going to give birth to, but he seemed rather surprised when I plonked a baby into his arms, father and daughter regarded each other warily until Lynceus cried so hard and his arms shook so much that Eros had to take Phoebe from him.
Sadly after my daughter I did not stay child free for long, my son arrived into the world more than a year after Melanie and Phoebe, quieter and much gentler than his noisy sisters had. After Abas, my beautiful son, I had a rest from baby making for a while and concentrated on ruling my country which really meant advising Lynceus on what he should do and ordering him about when he would not do what I thought he should, being a wife is a great deal more different than I thought it would have been, now I could boss him about and tell him that I did so because I was his wife and knew what was best for him, whilst before I had to order him about and supply threats to make sure that he obeyed! During mine and Lynceus' absences from this place of our birth, one of our cousins had ruled here, and ruled well, our section of Egypt had flourished under his care, so he was a very well respected adviser when we finally returned.
For six years news from Argos came to us, for six years we heard how slowly the people who, in the beginning of Danaus' reign in Argos, had loved him, now started riots, tried to assassinate him, hated him and wanted to overthrow him. From the descriptions Argos was suffering terribly, there was a lack of food, of money, and an all-around lack of vital necessities. People had been escaping Argos and passing through the borders into the neighbouring countries until Danaus, instead of addressing the problem of why the people wished to escape, wasted money and man-power by ordering his foot-soldiers to guard the borders and to kill all of the people how tried to sneak past them. People were suffering from malnourishment and so therefore they caught diseases much more easily and apparently, according to my spy, my source of information about Argos, the bodies were literally filling the streets, bodies of the dead, and of the dying, people too weak and too bone weary to move, to distinguish themselves from the dead. The idea of bodies just left in the streets horrified me, I mean, to myself and my people, the most important thing in life is death, and what happens after your death. To not be properly buried or cremated is to not have a soul at rest in the after-life, that is if you even reached the after life, for without the coins on your mouth or eyes, Charon, the ferryman, would not take you across the river of Death, the Styx. Then all you would do is wander the Earth, restless and like a ghost, a soul without a body.
So, six years after the birth of my son and seven years after the birth of my daughters, readers, since my children were actually alive and since I had not managed to permanently scar, seriously injure or kill any of them, would you call me a rather good mother? I was, at that time not only a rather good mother, but I was going to be yet again a rather big, fat, very pregnant mother, at least I would be in a few more months, I was, once again, pregnant, but barely so.
I had been in my rooms with my son sitting carefully on my knee and my daughters on either side of me, they all wanted to touch the new baby and feel it kick, even though it was probably a tiny, insignificant speck for I had only just realised that I was with child again. Lynceus had been with us, watching us as I tickled them, and listened to their shrill laughter as they played some games that for once did not result with Abas tied up with rope and hung out over the river Nile for a hippo or crocodile to find, worry not readers, the 'Nile' was only the woven blue carpet on which they played on, not truly the river, I am not that much of a irresponsible mother!
My hands about my waist I told the baby not to be twins again, because I do not know how I would cope with miniature Melanies and Phoebes as well as the real twins, that truly would be a living nightmare! So, continuing on, I was rather disturbed when I heard shouting and sound of a scuffle outside, for the servants never fought amongst each other in the palace. I reached out a picked up a long wooden walking stick that I had confiscated from my children when they had started to hit each other with it. Holding it gripped menacingly in my hands, Lynceus took one look at me and had the nerve to say,
"Stay here with the children." In response to that I told him to stay with the children and hit him hard in his shins with the long stick, even pregnant I am still a fierce foe. I only thank the Gods that no one knew would know that I was pregnant from simply looking at me, for I did not have a big bump of my stomach at all and I only knew that I was pregnant because Hera had told me, one day she had visited to see how I coped with mother-hood, that day was also cause for even more celebration when I realised that my children could see her, when Lynceus was squinting and trying desperately to see the invisible Goddess so that he did not step on her toes or cause some great offence like that.
Opening the door, I told the children to lock it and under no circumstances to open it to anyone but myself, Lynceus or a servant that they liked. After that I continued on after Lynceus, and there, in our main hall was Danaus, ripped clothing, old and used and many times repaired, hair long and straggly, he looked like a vagabond instead of a King, he was on the floor with two of my servants sitting on him, and another five glaring down at him.
"Sir, I do not expect you to have the intellect to understand this but if you could listen and look as if you are comprehending, I would greatly appreciate it. We were not expecting you, we did not know that you were coming so when I ask you to wait kind sir, I do not mean for you to run off and try to force your way inside here. Now, I need your name and purpose here and if I find it somewhat unacceptable, I will take the greatest pleasure in personally escorting you to the door and throwing you out."
The woman speaking was my house keeper, and usually they were meant to be men, but as Celcy was so efficient at ordering people about, an exception was made, and that practical, no nonsense, sensible woman did a fine job.
"Nestra!" She exclaimed when she saw me and pushed Lynceus to one side, "I swear that he tried to force his way through, I mean, no notice, no preparation and he expects to be seen this instant, as for his language, why, he should be ashamed of himself." She paused to turn to Danaus, mouthing obscenities silently. "Speaking like that in front of me and our Queen."
As you may have guessed, Celcy was the reason why none of the servant fought inside the palace.
"It is alright, he can follow us, let him up and we will see him."
With a grin Celcy signalled to the men sitting on Danaus, and with a simple hand gesture they sprang to do her bidding, I honestly think sometimes that she was more the Queen of this palace than I was.
"Two of you go with the King and Queen, that piece of pond scum is tricky and they may possibly need your help."
We led the way into a small room, used for transactions such as these, our thrones were there and in them we sat, staring down at that ragged bit of filth that the Gods had excreted out. Danaus, as Aphrodite had said, begged and pleaded for us to take Argos off his hands. I called for my son to be brought and my daughters too, Melanie sat on my lap and Phoebe sat on Lynceus', my tiny son, Abas, looked at us with confusion as Danaus first swore fealty to me and my husband, and then turned and knelt before my son and swore his service to him as well, Abas was named his heir in that moment, and my poor son looked bewildered, he did not understand what was happening and I wanted to keep him that way, innocent, for as long as I could. With that out of the way and done with, Danaus left our palace and our lands as quickly as he had arrived, all the while shooting thinly veiled insulted and disgusting looks at my children and myself.
Now, whilst we had ruled here, the first thing I wanted was a boat that did not rock from side to side so violently and was a lot faster. In that I had succeeded and we made the journey to Argose, leaving our cousin ruling in our name in Egypt, in a lot little more than six months. Gods what we saw stepping off that boat was a sight that I never wanted to see again, it was horrible, my source had not, as I had hoped, exaggerated the condition of Argos and to make matter even worse, Danaus had taken the liberty to die quietly in bed before I had even had to chance to ask question about the funds and the state of his debts.
Making things even better, my baby , a month early, decided that she wanted to be born premature, and Gods did she scare us all, so small, so tiny. She fought as hard as she could to survive and live she did. Unlike my other children, born big and strong, my little daughter was weak and quiet.
The first thing that Lynceus did upon arriving in Argos was to order all of the bodies to be burnt and cleared out of the streets. That improved things no end and then slowly, thing began to change for the better, but it still took hard work and worry and effort of both our accounts for it to change.
I have not forgotten the Dead, I tell my children about their grandfather, we had a tiny kitten named Greer and her story lives on through the night tales that my children listened to with such pleasure, I will never forget, but, I have made my peace with the Dead, they are at rest and I no longer feel guilt over them. When I die, I too will survive on through my children, through their children and on into their children.
Life here, after a year, has improved so much, my little daughter, Astraia, meaning star, is now a year old and I thank the Gods that even though she was born early and was not really meant for this world, that they saw fit to keep her here with me. Together, with her head on my chest we sleep, while I listen to Eros as he plays with my daughters, or to my son as he giggles with Lynceus. Maybe, hopefully soon, Eros will see sense and I will see Psyche come here with him, but that my readers is another story, next to the bed, Artemis and Celcy gossip and chatter, looking after me and my children as they have always done and will forever do. Although my own story has not been easy, now, with my family, I have found my happiness, my peace, my bliss. Fear not readers, this is not the end, but the beginning of something new, some one else's story, for my own is at a close.
The Gods keep and protect you all readers as they have me, goodbye and thank-you for all being with me as I have grown and lived.
PLEASE LOOK AT THE NEXT CHAPTER!
I HAVE NOW PUT UP THE SEQUEL TO CURSE OF THE DANAIDES, IT IS CALLED AN ARROW LET LOOSE, YOU CAN FIND IT ON MY SITE, READ IT AND REVIEW!!!