August, 1987
"So how does it feel to be leaving home tomorrow?" Lindsay said, leaning over the concrete wall that wrapped around the roof of the Bluth Company building. To celebrate Michael leaving home they'd stolen some of their mother's vodka and sneaked up there to watch the sunset, using the code Lindsay had gotten by discreetly watching their father enter it in on 'Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.'
"Good," Michael said. "I'll miss you, though."
"Aww, thanks," she said, her words a little slurred. "You don't need to pretend you're not excited, though, I can handle it." She bent down and picked up the bottle of vodka from the ground, then stood back up and refilled her cup. "You want some more?" she said, offering him the bottle.
"No, thanks."
"Come on, you've barely had any!"
"No, I don't want to be hungover on my first day there. Plus one of us needs to drive back."
"Ugh, why d'you have to be so damn responsible?" she groaned. "No reason why I shouldn't though. Cheers!" she said, taking a drink.
Michael laughed. "Maybe you should slow down a bit."
"No, I'm drowning my sorrows," she laughed. She smiled sadly at him. "I don't want you to leave," she said more seriously.
"I really am going to miss you," he said.
"I'm gonna miss you," she said. "A lot." She looked out over the city. The strands of her hair being pulled out of place by the wind glowed orange in the light of the sunset behind her. "We should just run away," she said.
"What?"
"You and me. We'll sneak out in the middle of the night. You're already packed." She said it like a joke but there was a serious edge in her voice that made his heart beat faster.
"Where would we go?" he asked, laughing nervously.
"Anywhere," she said, smiling excitedly at him. "Where do you want to go?"
"Um…I think I want to go to college."
"No, wrong answer, Michael!" she laughed, slamming her hand down on the wall.
"What's the right answer?" he laughed.
"I dunno, Paris or something."
"With what money?"
"I don't know, jeez, it's a hypothetical situation!"
"Okay, okay, Paris, then," he said.
"Thank you!" she said, throwing her hands up in the air. He laughed.
"What will we do in Paris?" he asked.
She smiled flirtatiously. "Whatever we want."
He raised his eyebrows. "Too bad it's a hypothetical situation."
Her eyes widened slightly in surprise. He looked away, embarrassed. He shouldn't have said that. Every time he was alone with her he forgot how wrong this was.
Lindsay picked up her drink and sat on the ground, leaning against the wall. He sat down next to her. The sky had faded to a dusty blue now.
"Lindsay?" he said.
"Yeah?"
"Uh, I mean, I know it might be hard, but… please try to take care of yourself when I'm gone, okay?"
Lindsay laughed. "You think I'm gonna fall apart without you?"
"No, I didn't mean—"
"No, it's fine," she interrupted. "You really did help me last fall. But you don't need to worry, I'll be fine."
"Good," he said, though he wasn't completely reassured. "That's really good."
She laughed and leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. He remembered when she'd tried to this on the Fourth of July and he hadn't let her. At the time he'd thought he'd done the right thing, but now it seemed ridiculous. A warm breeze swirled around them, causing feathery strands of her hair to brush his face. He looked down at her hand resting on the concrete. Could brothers and sisters hold hands? He realized he'd never cared less. He put his hand on top of hers. He felt her body tense slightly against him. Then she twisted her hand around and interlaced her fingers with his.
He leaned his head back against the wall and looked out at the lights glittering on the hills in the distance. He knew he was going to miss this. As much as he wished he didn't feel this way about her, he wasn't quite ready for whatever this was to end. Maybe it wasn't over. He would still call her everyday and she was going to apply to the Dominican University of California, which was only half an hour away from Berkeley. Maybe in a year things would be right back to this crazy, thrilling state like nothing had happened.
Don't, he told himself. He couldn't hope for that. Something was going to happen if things continued like this. If he was being honest with himself he was surprised that nothing had happened already. He hoped they would stay close, but he needed to do his best to move on and maybe find someone else and hope that in a year he wouldn't think of her as anything but a sister.
But since it was their last night together, it wasn't going to hurt anyone if he let himself enjoy the pressure of her body against his and the knowledge that if he turned and kissed her right now she would kiss him back. He thought about the rollercoaster ride that had been this last year. He wished he didn't, but he was glad things had gotten like this. And up here with her head on his shoulder and her hand in his and the rest of the world feeling so far away, it seemed like the perfect way for it to end.