Saturday, November 27, 2010

If You Love Something, Set It Free.
If It Comes Back To You, It's Yours Forever;
If It Doesn't, Hunt It Down And Kill It.

By the time she turned two, Lexi was well established in her routine: up early for breakfast, send Daddy off into the cold, cruel world, play with Grandma and Suzy while Mommy puts the kitchen to rights and gets ready for work, commute in with Mommy (while keeping up a never-ending line of chatter from the back seat), occupy self in the baby books section and ask questions left and right (with frequent snack and lunch breaks), go back home in the afternoon and tell Grandma and Suzy about the prior six hours, torment the dogs and cat, rebroadcast the day's events for Daddy, eat a ton of food for dinner, wheedle extra story time, reluctantly go to bed—repeat from the start the following weekday. Visits from Aunties Ev, Lily and Charlie just improved things.

The first Wednesday of October we got home around three and found Suzy and Mother waiting in the living room. Not unusual. They were seated on the couch, the day's mail on the coffee table in front of them. Also not too unusual. Mother was trying to snag an envelope and open it, and Suzy kept taking it from her hands and setting it back. "You already opened yours."

"What's up?" I asked as Lexi streaked toward her grandmother, scrambled up on the couch and became a lap fixture.

"Open it, Cassandra!" Mother cried, clapping her hands.

"Yeah, before Victoria breaks a federal law or two."

I took the envelope from Victoria. Halloween party invie? The envelope was a rich chocolate brown with a subtle sparkle to it. Return address: McAllister and Campbell. Lily and Ev were throwing a party? Cool. I was sure Lexi would be on the list; this would give her another place to literally strut her feathers (her costume this year was Zazu, the bird from The Lion King). Yep; the address was to Dr. and Mrs. Donald Mallard (oooh, how formal) and Miss Alexandra Mallard. I forced open the heavy paper and pulled out the card—and screamed and ran for the phone. "Ducky! Ducky, Ducky, Lily and Ev are getting married next month!"

We had been teasing them all year since marriage became an equal opportunity board game in D.C. and the sneaks had been oh-so-casual about it. "Oh… maybe after the rush is over…" "Hey, we've only been shacked up for three years, better make sure this will work, first. Divorce isn't cheap, according to Gibbs."

"I got mine last night," Suzy confessed. "Victoria opened hers this morning and wanted to call you at the store. It was a hard go convincing her to keep quiet."

"I can imagine." I was already dialing the number of my favorite competitor. "You sneaks! You little sneaks! How dare you do this without asking me for help?"

Lily laughed. "I take it the mail arrived?" There was a giggle from Ev on the extension.

"Yes! Do we really have to respond? Do you think we'd say no?"

"Well—we want Lexi to be our ring bearer-slash-flower girl. That we need an answer for," Ev said.

"And we figure Grandma will be grandmother-of-the-bride twice over," Lily added.

"Mother, I can say yes for. The other matter?" I carefully avoided using Lexi's name. "Are you sure? I see rings being flung, not flowers…"

"She'll be fine. We trust her," she said staunchly. "Charlie will keep her in line."

"You want to ask her yourself?"

"Sure!"

I handed the phone over to Lexi. "Auntie Lily and Auntie Ev want to talk to you."

She almost grabbed the phone from my hand. She loves to talk on the phone. "Auntie Wiwwy! Auntie Ev!" She listened and gasped, "Oh!" every so often. "Wike Mommy and Daddy? Oh!" More listening. "Oh, I wuv purpow!" More listening, then, very carefully (clearly following prompts): "I would be dewighted to be your fwower girow." She handed the phone back to me and screeched at Suzy and Victoria, "I gonna be a fwower girow!"

"And a beautiful flower girl," Mother gushed.

We got more details that weekend. To my surprise, they weren't going for historical dress of any era. "Been there, done that. Gone to too many Elizabethan, Tudor—" Ev said.

"Victorian, Edwardian—"

"Regency—"

"Georgian—"

"Okay, the Roaring Twenties one was a little different," Ev admitted. "But we just want a nice, normal… wedding. Like you guys had."

"Mostly friends. Neither of us has a lot of family—not blood relations, anyway." Lily toyed with her coffee, making tiny waves against the edge of the cup. "We have… invited the Kemmelbachers," she said cautiously. "I have no idea if they'll show up. Missus has been… more cordial since Charlie's going away party a few years back. We're actually in touch with the aunts and uncles and Grandfather quite a bit—it's Grandmother who's a little difficult. But she's been to our place for birthdays, Charlie goes over a couple of times a week—and both of us are invited along. Progress."

Charlie was in the living room with Lexi and Mother, giving us a chance to talk freely. "I… have kept in touch with Mrs. Kemmelbacher," Ducky said slowly. "It's difficult to turn your back on something you've held for all of your life. For her to admit that her church is wrong is the same as saying God is wrong."

"She has a daughter who's gay and terrified to come out to her. Please—her nom de plume is Lorelei Odile?" I said.

Suzy cocked her head. "Okay—Lorelei I kind of remember…"

"Lorelei—German legend, she threw herself into the river over a cheating lover; she came back and her singing lures sailors to crash on the rocks. In general, she causes destruction. And Odile is the evil black swan from Swan Lake. Definite self-esteem issues," I said.

"Then there's Hannah Grace, Charlie's mother…" Ev said with a sigh.

"And she was the third one to die under, shall we say, unflattering conditions."

Ducky looked at Lily sharply. "Third?"

"Mm-hmm. She never mentions them—not in terms of the real world, anyway. Firstborn son, Peter—"

"He died from a heart attack," Ducky said.

Lily shrugged lightly. "Caused by a heroin overdose."

Ducky was clearly taken aback. "And… Ruth? It… wasn't… a post-op infection?"

Lily ad Ev exchanged a glance. "Well… sort of," Lily said. "But the surgery was a back-alley abortion when she was almost five months along. Way past elective termination. Leah—the nurse, the one who's trying to come out—tried to get Ruth to go to a clinic early on, but she was afraid her 'sin' would be found out. She tried home remedies—herbal, throwing herself downstairs, saying if God wanted the pregnancy to end, it would. Eventually she realized if she didn't do something, her mother would figure it out. And her mother scared her more than God did."

Ducky stared into his coffee cup and shook his head slowly. "This… helps me understand some things better…" He continued to gaze into the tan depths. "Thank you…"

The conversation made several turns, finally settling back on what Lily and Ev were going to wear. "First marriage, white, of course," Ev laughed. They weren't even close to matching, but the individual styles suited each so it didn't matter. They were going for happy and uplifting, not Diana and Charles, Part II. I'm sure Ducky's silence passed unnoticed.

/ / / / /

The wedding was slated for the Saturday after Thanksgiving at All Souls Unitarian Church. After Lexi's interesting version of grace at Thanksgiving, I pulled the girls aside and asked if they were 100% sure they wanted Lexi to be in the wedding. God only knows what Kevin (who was invited, along with the rest of my clan) could come up with. "They had to get married, they're both pregnant!" would be right down his alley. And Lexi, sweet, trusting Lexi, would babble it word for word to all and sundry. But, no, they stood staunchly by their choice. And she pulled it off. She carried a basket rose petals which she tossed by the fistful every few feet; the rings were tied to a tiny pillow on the top of the basket handle. When she was about halfway down the aisle, Charlie, in a lighter shade of "purpow," followed. When they were both at the railing, waiting patiently, Lily and Evelyn started down the aisle.

There was some hemming and hawing as to how to do it. Neither girl had parents at this point. Lily didn't have any grandparents; Ev thought she did, but had no clue where they were since they had been estranged from her mother for years before she died. They both wanted Ducky to escort them, but no matter how they played with the logistics, it just didn't work. (I suggested Gibbs escort one of them; Ev suggested that was not a good idea. They certainly liked him and he was invited, (and said he would be pleased to attend)—but he wasn't family the way Ducky was.)

Charlie suggested her grandfather and Lily cautiously approached him. He was flattered, touched, and pleased to accept. He attended church with Mrs. Kemmelbacher because it was just easier than rocking the boat but he was quite fond of Lily and genuinely liked Evelyn; if there was a voice of sanity in that household, he was it.

So while Charlie and Lexi waited with the minister, a young man named Ed Jerrold, Lily strolled down the aisle on the arm of Mr. Kemmelbacher. I've always maintained that she could quit the genealogy biz and make a ton of money as a model, even at the ripe old age of thirty-six-in-a-week; today was far from an exception. Already a good 5'9", she wore a raw silk sheath with seed pearl embroidery that made her look even taller. Hair curled and pinned and falling down her back, she was the picture of elegance. After she arrived, Evelyn, walking proudly beside Ducky, made her own entrance. While she had pooh-poohed the idea of any kind of historical period for the wedding, there were definite Ren Faire leanings to her outfit. Hoop skirt of satin, overskirt of lace with crystal embellishment and a bosom-crushing stomacher that was beaded to a fare-thee-well; Ev was definitely more into glitz and fluff than Lily was. She still managed to be more sedate than, say, the dress Nia Vardalos wore in My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

When Ducky and Ev arrived, he and Mr. Kemmelbacher each gave a good luck kiss to the bride they had escorted, neatly crossed over to salute the other, then took their places in the congregation. There was no bride's side/bride's side seating; you sat where you wanted to, so both sides of the church were pretty equal. We were on the left side of the church, along with Mother (of course), Suzy (of course), and a couple of members of Team Gibbs. On the right hand side were the Kemmelbachers, one of Lily's brothers (she had never tracked down the other one), Gibbs, Abby and Geoff (despite the fact hat they weren't dating at the moment, they were still, as always, on friendly terms and perfectly happy to sit together). Lily's Aunt Jeanette, once described as 'not a people person,' had sent her regrets and a lovely Waterford vase. Ev still had one brother in a rehabilitation facility (a stroke had turned his brain to porridge, but his body still refused to quit) and a second who stubbornly visited him on a weekly basis. He hadn't seen Ev in over ten years; when it sounded like finances would keep him away, Ducky quickly stepped in and provided a ticket and hotel lodging as his gift to the girls. (Like they needed another blender?) Add to it that both girls have lots of friends and we ended that the pews were pretty full.

It was a lovely ceremony. Relatively short, tears from many eyes (mine included) (and Ducky's, of course; he is such a sentimentalist)—and at the end long, loud applause and cheers from the throng.

I was a little surprised when Ev hunted me down for pictures. "Come on, we have Lexi as the flower girl and Ducky as my escort, you and Grandma have to be there for the rest of the family."

If I was surprised at the request, I was downright shocked at the rest of the group: Mr. and Mrs. Kemmelbacher stood just to the side of Lily… and she was smiling. 'She' meaning Mrs. Kemmelbacher; Lily is always smiling, even if it's just a hint around the corners of her mouth. It wasn't a huge smile—but it was either the genuine article or she's one hell of an actress.

Pictures, pictures, pictures. All the while there was a gorgeous cake spread over its' own 4x4 table, waiting patiently to be sliced. (I didn't peek. We arrived early and I helped set up.)

Finally the photographer declared fini and we were able to relax. "There will be more during the reception," Lily reminded us.

"I remember at our wedding…"

I held my breath and looked at Mrs. Kemmelbacher cautiously.

"The photographer took so long, the roast beef was stone cold."

Mr. Kemmelbacher laughed. "And your father walked around for the rest of the evening muttering, 'Thirty bucks a plate… thirty bucks a plate…'"

"They ate it, I don't know why he was so upset…" She reached out and hesitantly touched Lily's arm. "You both… look quite lovely, dear."

Lily smiled broadly. "Thank you."

Ev caught my eye for a second before adding her own thanks.

"I hope—" She worked at finding the right words. "That you'll be very happy together.

"Thank you," Ev said again.

"We are," Lily said. She flashed Ev a grin. "We will be."

As we headed toward the parish hall, the buckle from Ev's shoe got caught on a petticoat. I quickly squatted down to untangle her; when I stood back up, she was staring after the rest of the group a few yards ahead, a puzzled look on her face. "I never thought…"

"Thought what?" I prompted when she drifted off.

"Never thought she'd really warm up to me."

"Nobody can resist you forever," I said flippantly.

She didn't rise to the bait. "It's not that…"

Again with the silence. "What is it, then?"

"She has pictures of Hannah, Ruth and Peter on the mantle. The first time I was over there, you could have knocked me with a two-by-four and I wouldn't have noticed. You know how Fran and Lily look a lot alike? Ruth and I could be twins. Later on, when Lily told me what happened to Ruth—I figured Mrs. K hated me because every time she saw me, she saw Ruth. I was alive—and Ruth wasn't. That plus being a lesbian… I figured I was in her black books forever."

We started down the hallway. "Wonder what happened to bring her around?"

Ev just smiled at me. "What else? Ducky."