Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

He moved me around so my body was facing his but I didn't look at him, I kept my eyes focused on my feet. He gently placed his hand under my chin and forced my face up to look at his. I stared into those deep, green pools and saw that like me, he had tears. "Let me explain everything to you," he murmered. I nodded my head and then he took my hand, holding it in his, then lead me out to the Volvo.

Despite everything, his hand in mine felt natural; warm, sincere. It scared me, I felt so vulnerable. He seemed so in control of what would happen next. Maybe that's why some people avoid love. It makes you so incredibly vulnerable.

Wordlessly, Edward moved around and unlocked the passenger's side door of his Volvo and gestured for me to sit down, finally letting go of my hand. I instantly missed the contact. He walked around to his side of the car and sat down, then started the engine and slowly moved out of the parking lot. I didn't know where we were going, but I didn't want to ask either. I was too nervous to break the silence.

Thankfully Edward did. "Bella...I'm so sorry, I just...." he trailed off. "I love you so much, I can assure you that whatever it was that you saw, it wasn't what it looks like...I would never want anyone else..."

Whatever it was that I saw? So if I hadn't seen anything, would I ever have found out? I seemed to be asking myself a lot of questions lately, that couldn't be a good thing. I was sad, but I was also angry.

"How else do you expect me to take it?" I growled, trying to ignore the horrible image I was confronted with. Stupid blonde fu-

"She's my ex-girlfriend..." he began, but I interrupted.

"Oh great! That makes everything okay, your beautiful ex-girlfriend from Manhattan is in town, ready to be rescued!"

"I didn't mean it like that," he said quietly. We rounded a corner and Edward pulled his car into the parking lot for a reserve. I remained silent, looking out the window and wondering what news he had to torture me with next. "Her name is Tanya, she just needed some help and we were close, she didn't know where else to go."

"I'll bet you were close," I mumbled, still not looking at him.

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant that we were best friends, before we ever got..together. Then she just got into some bad stuff. Remember how I told you about my past?" I didn't respond, so he continued. "She got into drugs really heavily and at the time, I couldn't deal with it, I should've helped her but it was like I didn't even know her. I didn't know how to help and I didn't want to fall into that cycle any further.

"Her parents are going through a divorce and I guess it just sent her over the edge. She was living with her mom, who kicked her out when she overdosed and her dad wouldn't take her. All the people she thought were her friends were just there for the lifestyle, I'm the only person who was really her friend through it all."

"Are you done?" I asked in a bored voice. Truthfully, I didn't think I could take anymore. I didn't want to feel sympathy for this Tanya...with her blonde hair and boobs overflowing from my Edward's shirt. Not that I had much claim over him anymore. I wasn't even sure if I wanted any claim over him.

Edward sighed.

"Please Bella, I'm trying here."

"Well that's all well and good, but it still doesn't explain why she was in your bed, in your shirt while you were walking around in nothing but a towel...and don't get my started on the phone call!" I snarled at him.

"What do you mean 'the phone call'?" Edward asked, eyeing me suspiciously. I momentarily wondered if he was just trying to take the focus off himself.

"Like I need to explain the 'he didn't mention a girlfriend' and the 'oh he's my knight in shining armour'. I said, impersonating her girlish voice and then her high-pitched giggle. "You know what? Take me back to school. Now."

"Bella, I didn't know about that...I honestly didn't," Edward said nervously, in a way that made me actually believe him. "I should have told her about you, but I didn't for the same reason I didn't tell you about her. I didn't want you getting caught up in all this stuff, in all my problems. It would unneccesarily cause you pain and worry."

"Edward I am – or I was," he cringed at that, "your girlfriend, you should be able to tell me these things. You should be able to trust me, especially with something as major as this. Instead you lied to me, all week, you didn't answer my calls. Where are your parents anyway? They're not even home are they?"

He seemed hesitant to answer, but even more hesitant to piss me off anymore. "Th-they extended their stay, they were meant to come home Monday but they didn't. Instead Tanya arrived..."

"So something else you failed to tell me? Do I even mean anything to you?" I asked softly, the sadness overcoming the anger at that moment.

"Of course you do. You're my everything, you're my whole world, Bella. I love you, you know that..."

"You know what the scary thing is? I don't know if that's true. If it were, you'd feel comfortable telling me what was going on. I'm...I.....can you please just take me back to school? I can't be with you now," I said.

"I don't want to, I want to make things right."

"I'm not sure if you can,"

"Why? Don't you want to try?"

"How can I trust you now?"

He didn't know how to answer that and so we sat in silence. From the corner of my eye, I saw him reach over to touch me several times, but everytime he got too close, he'd pull away. I was too embarrassed to actually look at him for the tears had started again. Although, I think he knew. He reached over me and into the glove box, pulling out a box of tissues.

He gently set them down on my lap and then picked up my hand.

"I'll do whatever I can to show you I love you," he said. He twined our fingers and lifted both our hands up, lightly kissing mine. "Because you're my world. I think about you all the time. If you...if you can't be with me, Bella...I don't know what I'm going to do. We're meant to be together. Everytime I say I love you, it's not enough, I want to give you the world."

His declaration sent me over the edge and I broke out in hard out sobs. Edward reacted instinctively and reached over, pulling me into his lap. I didn't object, instead I breathed in his scent. I was fully aware it would hurt much more when I was away from him again and wallowing in my self-pity, but I drank up of much as him as I could. After all, everything he was saying, they were all just words...

He held onto me tightly, protectively. Like he was trying to protect me from himself.

"Baby, it'll be okay. We'll make it through this...we have to. We have to." Edward said, although it seemed like he was not only trying to convince me, but himself as well. I cried harder, if it were possible, and clung for dear life onto his shirt. I buried my face in his chest while he stroked my hair and occassionally lent down and kissed me on the forehead or in my hair.

"Edward...you've had some girl staying in your house, just the two of you. You lied to me about it and I've been worried about you," I managed between sobs. "Does she...does she sleep in your bed?"

"Yes," he admitted. I shuddered and made to move off his lap. "I'm sorry."

I cringed away from him as an image crossed through my mind. Tanya in Edward's bed, the bed he and I made love in. The bed we came together in. The bed we held eachother in, falling asleep and then dreaming about eachother. Instead now it was Tanya and Edward curled together beneath the sheets, laughing, reminiscing. And it would be effortless, they'd talk all night and be completely open with one another.

I wondered if she knew all the things I knew about him.

His lopsided smile.

His scent, fresh in the morning.

The way he talks about his parents with such obvious love.

The way he picks at the corner of the desk in Biology.

How his face looks when he says he loves me.

I wondered if he ever went and stayed with her parents and stayed up eating pizza and watching Will & Grace with her Mom. Or if he was over the top polite to her Dad like he was with Charlie, even when it was not reciprocated.

What kind of name is Tanya anyway? Something you'd expect from a Texan stripper. My anger was slowly rising to the surface again. I hated how he could effect my moods so much. Because I loved him so much.

And this is why I wanted to try. Because I loved him. It was stupid, foolish...but it was the truest thing i'd ever felt, the truest thing I'd ever known. On my part, anyway.

"I think I just had an epiphany," I stated.

"Yes?" Edward urged me to continue.

"I want it to be okay....I just can't now Edward, I need some time."

"Anything, my love. I'll use the time to make it up to you in any way I possibly can."

"I know you will," I murmered. "I think I should get back to school, Alice will be wondering why I'm not in english."

We got back to school just in time for third period. "I love you," Edward said as I got ouf the car. I sighed and let go of his hand before walking back into school after watching him driving off. Driving back to her. The reason for all this. The reason I couldn't just get over it. I hated her for it.

I walked down the halls, deep in thought, on my way to English. Alice was waiting for me, of course and ready to drill. She looked agitated as well, as she examined her nails.

"Hi," I said quietly.

"Where have you been? I was worried," she said and I realised she wasn't agitated, most likely just nervous as to my wherabouts. She had been the one who'd held me while I sobbed myself to sleep afterall.

"I...um...with Edward," I admited, then looked down at my feet.

"What? Why?"

"He explained...it was all a misunderstanding,"

"So what? He smooth talks you and you're back together?" Alice was getting angry. She was ready to shoot Edward, I reminded myself. I wasn't even sure if the secrecy about Edward's past applied anymore. Everything was blurry.

"It's not like that, we aren't back together,"

"But if it was just a misunderstanding-"

"It's not that simple," I said simply.

"And you're not going to explain it to me," Alice stated with a sour look on her face. "Why are you protecting him?"

"I...I don't..know," I mumbled, then was thankfully saved by the warning bell. Alice scurried into the classroom to avoid a lecture from our teacher.

Our english teacher was waffling on mindlessly when Alice said a note across the desk to me. I opened it and read her elegant script;

Shopping in Port Angeles tomorrow, remember?

Oh no, I hadn't remembered. Prom shopping. Ugh.

Uh Ali, I don't think i'm going to prom anymore, I replied.

She shot me a shocked look, then one of determination as she quickly scribbled down a singular word on the page.

Edward?

I shook my head. "I don't know, Al," I whispered.

"Just be careful..." Alice warned and with that, the bell tolled.

A/N: Ok some of you would've guessed that but eh. Please read and review :)