Chapter thirty six - Motherly and fatherly attention.
"Is it a recording...?" echoed Little Ben, what Big Ben had previously thought. Like he was sure his uncle kept a recording of his mother, ready to lecture him in worst case scenarios. That was far more likely than he had gotten a hold of his ever busy mom and for something like this.
"No. I'm not a recording, mister. You are in deep, deep trouble!" shouted the hologram.
"Sorry mom..." Ben still didn't believe it wasn't a recording, it wasn't until she gasped when seeing the destroyed room and started to list his newest "crimes" that he became very scared and understood there was no escape from her wrath.
"Don't sorry me! What is that I hear, you refuses to go to sleep and on top of it, you steal from and wreck your uncle office...?!" she lectured and looked so angry and disappointed, that Ben kind of wished he had been trapped inside that locked room forever, instead of facing her.
"He hit me." He pointed at Luke, to shift the blame at least, momentarily, somewhere else.
"What..?!" His mom's piercing gaze was suddenly on Luke, who jumped up in surprise, and had not been expecting that cheap attack from Ben.
"I only swatted him..." Luke said hurriedly as he scrambled to find a legit excuse for harming his nephew in his care. "I had to, he was out of control. Darkside! He had a lightsaber!" He waved his arm frantically as Leia's frown only got deeper and deeper after each pathetic excuse his uncle put forward.
Leia took that in and her shoulders slumped down, as someone with the all of galaxy resting on her shoulder. "I understand...don't let it happen again. Same to you Ben. Family does not hurt each other...anymore."
"Anymore...?" Ben looked surprised at his uncle, who was still shaken up after Leia's scolding so he couldn't or didn't want to answer him. But, Ben had no knowledge of anyone hurting anyone in this family...at least not seriously.
KR: She's talking about your grandfather.
I know that...now...wait mine..? Not yours...anymore?
KR:...it's complicated...
"Ben find a corner and think about what you did." His mom was back to schedule and for once, her attention was back on her wayward child. She pointed at corner in far back, one of the few places in the office, that wasn't riddled with damage.
"But...it wasn't my fault...Kylo did it..." sputtered Ben.
"NOW!" thundered his mom with the same rage, as if she had turned into Darth Vader.
Ben ran to a corner.
KR: She has certainly has you whipped...she just a hologram there...she can't even touch you, only yell...
She's my mother! I know better than to disobey her...in front of her..
KR: True...mother can be scary...just wish Luke knew that...then he wouldn't be such a prick.
But aunt Beru raised him...I mean he had a mother...
KR: And your uncle Owen did nothing...? Ah...he is the one, who ruined him, if Beru had only done it...maybe he would've have been different...uncle's can easily ruin you...
True...and I don't believe for a second...your lie that Luke called her when I turned dark for real.
KR: Why not...?
Because then obviously I would've turned back...instantly.
KR: Oh really...?
Yebb.
KR: Interesting...
"Have you thought about what you did?" asked his mom, after giving Ben permission to leave the corner after some time.
Ben nodded.
"And why it was wrong...?" she said and narrowed her eyes at him, as if he better give her a good answer.
Ben shrugged without meeting her eyes and digged his toe into the cracked floor, as he didn't really have an answer or didn't care.
"Ben, you know what I think about destroying stuff. It's always wrong," she lectured, unhappy that he didn't give her a single answer.
KR: Like the Deathstars...
That's doesn't count...
KR: A lots of people died!
Mom's home planet was destroyed by a Deathstar!
KR: So she was allowed to kill lots of people as well...?
Erm...she saved more people by doing that...
KR: Hmm...sounds hypocritical to me...naughty daughter...
That is true...that she kind of is a hypocrite...though I would never say that her face!
KR: Chicken...
"I'm so sorry mommy...can you forgive me?" said Ben anxiously, since he mostly cared about getting her forgiveness. If he couldn't get her forgiveness, then he was doomed, that was what he thought at least. Nothing else mattered.
His mother smiled sadly, like she could tell how he felt and her holographic form reached out to touch him tenderly on the cheek, even though it went right through him. "Of course I can, I will always forgive you my little angel, but you should apologise to your uncle not me."
"Sorry uncle," Ben hung his head.
"Just don't let it happen again," replied his uncle and smiled, happy that his mother was getting through to him and he was finally listening to reason.
"And you will never harm our baby boy again," said Leia in such frosty voice to Luke who even froze in fear, that Ben was surprised the room didn't also freeze over. But that wasn't the only thing that surprised him.
Our?
KR:...
"Our...?" asked Ben, baffled by that phrasing. Since when had he come a co-owned property?
"He's your family," said his mother matter of factly to both of them, as if that would explain everything. She gave his uncle a death stare, who gulped and stammered.
"Of course he is and I will never harm him...but what should I do if he goes out of control again?"
KR: He will try to kill you.
Again?
KR: I told you he was stupid...
"If he acts up, just call me and I will deal with him...but of course he knows better than to behave like this, right Ben, my little angel?" She turned towards Ben, with that look that said "behave or else."
"Yes mom...he tried to kill me." He pointed at Luke at his side, who gasped in outrage over being outed like that.
"What?!" Leia was simmering with rage. "Is this true?" Her eyes bore a hole into Luke, who wanted to run and hide on some island, far, far away.
Ben grinned evilly, as his uncle shivering spoke volumes about this guilt.
"Hey, don't say it like that." His uncle said with false bravado. "She will misunderstand...it was not like that..." said Luke, who tried in vain to calm his sister down, who was known as the Hutt Slayer, because of having used a chain to choke Jabba the Hut to death and judging from her "darkside" look, she really wanted to let her brother meet the same fate for hurting her boy.
"Then what did he mean?" she asked through clenched teeth, as if she was thinking about, at least biting Luke's head off.
"He tried to impale me with his lightsaber," said Ben carelessly, but managed to keep a straight face, when in reality he wanted to laugh maniacally at his uncle expression of fear. It was so kriffing delicious, though he felt the slightest guilt for taking such pleasure in it after what his uncle had said to him. Just the slightest, since this was too good of an opportunity to skip.
"WHAT!" His mother looked a wampa whose baby was in danger and now she was out for a blood revenge.
"I didn't know it was him...he broke into my office while I was sleeping...I sleep with the lightsaber to guard myself against outside threats...and he went inside my mind," said Luke pitifully as he begged for mercy.
"What...? Why did he do that?" Suddenly her eyes were back on Ben, who had wisely left out that details of the story, but of course his uncle dragged them out to make him look good and Ben the bad one.
"That's no excuse," said Ben, who was mad his uncle got off so easily after all that buildup and he had no longing to go into that he was trying to get father's number, that didn't even exist in the first place, as his father had left him there as a punishment for trying to steal the Falcon. But for some reason, Ben had believed he could call him whenever to go home and get Rey. What a fool.
Leia turned her head back to Luke, who groveled for her forgiveness with his face.
"But I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt or scare him...you have to believe me. It won't happen again."
"Broke into...I guess I will have to hear the whole story later. Be good...both of you. No more breaking in...or trying to kill each other," she scolded.
Ben's face crumbled, since he was right back at where he started. "But I really want to go home...please..."
"I know sweetie, but this isn't the right way. You have to focus on your training...it's for your own good. We are just trying to protect you. You know that, right...?" she said as sweetly, as if she was giving him candy after some nasty medicine.
"But uncle tried to kill me," Ben said on the verge of tears. Isn't that enough of reason to go home?
"That's because you were naughty and being in some place you weren't supposed to be," said his mother, like he stolen some cookies instead of nearly being murdered in the night.
"But..." began Ben, to try to reason with her.
"You have to behave and listen to your uncle," said his mother, who always held the last word.
"Master," pointed Luke out.
"Sorry, listen to your master." She turned towards Luke with a stern frown. "You are still his family, you won't neglect that duty. You will shower him with all the affection I can't give him and more, since I'm not there to do it as much as I would like to do." As to demonstrate, she waved her hand into the hair like she was petting, pouting Ben on the head, but once again it went right through him. And that "ghost touch" made him feel stab in the heart.
"Of course. I'm his stand-in father," said Luke with a pride and did the petting for her, which made Ben feel a tiny bit better.
Leia nodded and smiled, happy that he understood. "Exactly."
"I don't want that...though dad sucks," mumbled Ben.
"What?" asked his mother, as if daring him to repeat that.
"When can I go home...?" pleaded Ben, as he did not want to go into a fight with her.
"Soon sweetie, as soon as you have gotten rid of the darkness..." his mother smiled so sweetly at him, like he was being kept afterschool to finish some homework, instead of being far, far away from home without knowing when he would return, if he would ever return.
"When will that be...?" asked Ben, as the possibility that it could in fact be never, crossed his already anxious mind.
"It's up to you...ah sorry gotta run, the emergency meeting is about to start. Be good, love you son. Have to run," she blew a kiss and waved at him in a goodbye.
"Mom...lov..." Ben embraced the hologram just as it disappeared. He stared at his empty hands. They felt more empty, even though he wouldn't have been able to embrace her, just to be able to see her was enough, he thought. But now she was gone and he felt so sad, as if this could've been the last time he would ever see her...
Mom...
KR: Vader...
(Ben glowers at him)
KR: What? I miss him...
I have noticed...
KR: You missed Rey...even before you knew her..
That's...because it's Rey...
KR: Hmm...
"There, do you feel better now?" His uncle put the viewer in his pocket and patted him on the shoulder, as if they were back to hard reset. In spite of the fact that evidence of what happened that night, lay all around them. Debris everywhere, like several thermal detonators that been thrown into the room at the same time.
"She called just to yell at me!?" Ben was red in face. He had needed for his mother presence for so long and finally when he got her, she only lectured him instead of comforted or brought him home.
"She didn't just yell at you...are you ready to go to sleep now...? You know she will very mad if you don't go to sleep..." Luke said and hoped that threat would end further discussion before it began.
"She never has any time for me...except to lecture..." muttered Ben pitifully.
"That's not true...she loves you very much."
"I know that..." said Ben, but the words felt hollow.
"And your father loves you as well."
Ben shrugged, not quite believing that.
"Do you want me to call him ?" asked his uncle, as if that would make things better.
"To do what...have him yell at me?" Ben snorted over that ridicules suggestion.
"He will not just yell at you..." Luke scoffed.
"So he will yell at me...?"
"Well..."
Before Luke could answer, they heard a very soft and muffled ringing in the distance.
"What is that...?" They said both at the same time. "Who could be calling in the dead of the night?"
KR: You are in sync...creepy...
Who is calling...?
KR: Really...you don't know?
No...
KR: (shakes head in frustration, like a teacher with a dumb student)
Hey!
Quickly, uncle and nephew looked around the destroyed office for the source of the sound.
After short search, they found that the ringing was coming from Ben's duffle bag that had fallen off him, when he was busy being Kylo and destroying everything.
Luke picked up the com-link, that somehow had ended up in Ben's bag. "Did you steal this again?" He frowned at him, like he wanted to call his mom to have her yell at him for that, on top of everything else.
"I don't remember doing that...I must have taken it by accident," Ben said honestly, though subconsciously he must have packed it in case of an emergency. "Who is...calling?"
Luke's eyes widened in shock, as if Vader was calling from the dead. "Your father." He turned to Ben, who was baffled by the news.
Dad called back?! Why didn't I just go home then...and get Rey? If it is true that he already forgave me...though mini me doesn't seem to believe it...
KR: Hmm...
"I don't want to talk with him..." Ben said hesitant and turned away stubbornly with crossed arms.
The ringing kept going, the reverberation like his father was calling him, commanding him to turn around, to at least talk with him.
"I thought you wanted to go home," said Luke and looked at the com-link in his hands, like it could answer his nephew's constant contradictory behaviour.
"Yeah...but I don't want him to scold me...he will right...?" asked Ben, as if that was the most frightful thing in the galaxy to be scolded by your father.
"Not necessarily...maybe he doesn't know what you did. Maybe, he just wants to talk?" commented Luke, who knew all about really dangerous fathers, but Ben didn't know that, at that time.
Ben frowned, as there was no chance of his father only calling to have a nice father-son chat. "He must have gotten that stupid message you send him earlier...where you told him I was mad...and now he is mad at me...without even knowing what I did..."
"You heard that?" said Luke surprised, since Ben was in kind of a coma when he made that call.
"Yes...why is that thing still ringing...why doesn't he give up...?" Like he gave up on me, he thought the last part and pouted, miserably. So unfair...
"You better answer it." Luke handed him the com-link. "He doesn't like waiting."
"He doesn't like waiting...?" Ben parroted his words with great disbelief, since his life was nothing but waiting, not to mention what about poor Rey? In the future...?
"Just answer it, Ben." Luke broke through, before Ben could feel sorry for Rey's impending future, yet again.
"Ben...?" said the unmistakable gruff voice of his father, hesitant, as if he was expecting someone else to pick up, when Ben pressed the button to accept his call.
Didn't I ask him to...? I mean if I asked, then this dream didn't matter...why didn't he take me home...? I must have asked him to...or at least go and pick up Rey...
KR: You will get your answer soon enough...
I mean...he can't have been so angry with me for breaking uncle's office, that he left me there...for good? I mean it was Jedi stuff, why would he care...? Right...?
KR: SHUT UP! YOU WILL GET YOUR ANSWER!
"Dad...father...sir..." replied Ben into the com-link, as if he wasn't sure either, who he was talking to and scrambled to find the right answer, to not anger the man further who held the fate of his life and future in his hands.
"Sir? Don't call me that, I'm your father not your boss," barked his father. "Why in corellia did you destroy your uncle's office...?"
Ben could easily imagining him standing in front of him, with his old time glower, whenever he did something "naughty" that his father couldn't wrap his head around. Which was a lot. So much in fact, that rarely did his father bother with him at all and left the dealing of him to someone else. Especially the darkside voice in his head...
"I..."
Mom told him, of course she did. Of course he only called to scold me. He felt his chest constrict as the hope of something else, was taken away from him. He looked toward the broken desk in front of the unbreakable door, as if he had hoped for it to getting fixed along with his soul, by some kind of miracle, by hearing from his father. It was foolish of him to hope for something impossible. His father's dark words when he caught him trying to steal the Falcon and send him away for it, "You are no son of mine. I don't care what you do," had truly broken him and nearly sent him to the darkside. It didn't matter that Luke said it he most likely meant Kylo. Ben wasn't sure, their father-son relationship could ever be the same again after being hurt like that.
"I thought I told you to stop ruining his stuff and behave," his father's words drew him from his negative thoughts and gave him a weak hope, despite them being in form of a scolding.
"When...?" Ben thought back to the dream, which he thought had been real and for a moment, hoped it was true. Where his father did in fact come and bring him home, but was forced to leave him behind for some reason, because of Luke. Not because he wanted it.
"When? It doesn't matter when! You know that doing this was wrong," said his father, who had no interest in keeping Ben's dreamworld alive.
"So, it's okay to steal his stuff?" snapped Ben, who hated that his father hadn't indulged him and crushed his dream reality once again, by failing him.
Luke shook his head with a disapproval over Ben's naughty question.
"Of course not! I didn't even know you had done that. Stealing is wrong. Whatever you stole give it back to him, now!" shouted his father at him, like he had never stolen anything in his life.
Ben was unfazed as he was nowhere near him and glowered at the com-link, the one who had started all of his troubles over the past days and nights, because of some childish hope, Ben had thought his father really wanted him to call him.
"I'm speaking into it. So that would mean you have to stop lecturing me you thief...you hypocrite."
Luke, who so far had only watch the tense father-son interaction on the sidelines, gasped over the audacity of Ben's words.
"Hypocrite? Now you listening to me, you don't talk back to me like that, ever!" Warned his father, as if he was planning on dropping by to scold him in person and put him in timeout to fix his poor attitude, but that was never going to happen. Him dropping by because of something like that...or dropping by at all.
"Or what, you are not here. Just like always. What are you going to do? I hope the Falcon gets destroyed...or stolen!" shouted Ben, but changed destroyed into stolen, since he really didn't want to destroy the Falcon. Or did he..?
"Ben!" His uncle looked at him with great disbelief, like he had just threatened a dear family member of theirs, instead of a dead, but dear object.
"I will call your mother," said his father darkly, as he thought the same way about the Falcon. The same Falcon, that he had sent Ben away for trying to steal. Ben was now hundred percent convinced he had indeed done that. That he loved the Falcon more than him...if even loved him.
"Erm...I'm so sorry..." Ben cockiness instantly evaporated while thinking of his mom angry reaction, if she knew that he acted that way, right after she had lectured him so harshly. Anxiously he looked at the door, like she was about to burst through it at any minute, to give him the yelling of a lifetime for acting this way towards his father, no matter how much he deserved it.
"Good. Ben, what's going on with you? Why are you acting like this? This is not like you. I thought we talked about this..." said his father in the softest voice possible.
Despite using a voice as soft as cotton to rub the wound that opened on Ben's soul, it did little to damper Ben's rage towards him. In fact it hurt him. The hope hurt him, he would rather have no hope.
"We did not talk, you yelled at me...and left me here...for good..."
"I did not yell. Don't lie. And I left you there, because I had no choice. You know that...don't blame me. And it is not forever, I told you that. Seriously, what's going on with you kid? Why are you so...angry?" said his father, who seemed to be getting more confused as the call kept going on. Like he was living in different reality, where his relationship with Ben was perfect and they never fought. Probably with that same perfect Ben, that Luke dreamed about...having as his son.
"No choice...no choice! Were you Jedi mind tricked?!" shouted Ben, mad that couldn't even take responsibility for leaving him there. He didn't take responsibility for him and he didn't take responsibility for abandoning him.
"Something like that," replied Han, like it was the truth to everything that Ben had been seeking.
"What...?" Ben's anger vanished like a balloon that had been destroyed with a pin, as he hadn't been expected that answer and since it fit in no way with what his uncle had told him.
What?
KR:...
"You Jedi mind tricked him?" Ben turned to his uncle with a fearsome glower, for keeping that away from him.
"No," replied his uncle without hesitation, though Ben felt there was more to the story.
"It doesn't matter now. Why did you do these things...and steal a com-link? Why are you even still up? You were supposed to be in bed hours ago. You get so cranky when you don't sleep," said his father, who had no interesting in speaking about force-things more than necessary.
His babyish tone enraged Ben. "I'm not cranky!"
"And you know, you don't steal things...except maybe in emergencies," his lecture felt forced and unconvincing.
KR: Great rolemodel as always...such a hypocrite...
Hey...well...you do have a point... (sulks)
KR: You have been awfully quiet...are you alright...? (genuine concern)
I'm just paying attention...and you told me to shut up. (annoyed)
KR: Always good to try new things... ;)
Hey! And shut up! Xo
KR: Shutting up...
"It was an emergency," snapped Ben, as it kind of was the truth. He wanted to help his Rey.
"It was...? Are you in danger?" his father's tone changed from stern to worry.
"No. He was just being naughty," replied his uncle, before Han could imagine the worst.
"Ben, don't lie like that. You are in enough trouble already," the stern tone was back.
Ben hated being parented like that from far away. It was too late.
"You are far too late. Mom already scolded me..and punished me for everything."
"I punished him as well," said his uncle, as if that would help the matter.
"Oh...so...I was too late...again. Well, don't do it again. Behave kid!" scolded Han.
"It was Kylo not me!" shouted Ben.
"Well, then you have to get rid of Kylo if you ever want to get home," he said sternly like Kylo was a bad dog that was biting everyone.
KR: What's up with that description of me...?
I think it's fitting.
KR: (glowers at him)
"But...but I...just want to go home...now...please...you promised..." said Ben, clinging to the last bit of hope, that got dashed away, the moment his father answered back.
"I'm sorry. You belong with your uncle," he said firmly.
"So, you have finally seen the light." His uncle grinned victoriously, like his father ever had another opinion.
"No, I belong with you and mom," pleaded Ben, that didn't want his uncle to win, this villainous uncle scared him. He wanted the nice one.
"You're safe with him. He can teach you stuff and help you get rid of the darkness," said his father, but just as with the lecture about stealing, it was if he didn't believe his own words.
Ben pursed his lip in anger, that his father didn't even seem to trust his uncle and yet left him, with him. "Uncle hit me," he said through clenched teeth. Not that he thought it would make any difference, for his father that didn't care for him.
Han gasped. "Whaaat?!" he shouted, like he was witnessing someone stealing the Falcon in front of his eyes. Ben was surprised by his over reaction. Maybe he could convince him after all?
"Swatted him. He was swinging a lightsaber without permission. I had to stop him," said his uncle, like it was Jedi protocol to react to it that way.
"Why was he using a lightsaber in the first place?!" screamed his father hysterical, as if Ben had been running around with scissors, instead of using something that was mandatory in Jedi training.
"Jedi training," replied his uncle, as if that would explain everything.
"So a part of his training was to wreck your office...? Then I fail to see what he did wrong," said his father confused and irritated to be led astray like that and especially having to discuss Jedi things.
Ben smirked. Only his father, could reach that conclusion...maybe he could get away with it...?
"No, he took an ancient saber and wrecked my office during a tantrum," said Luke and shoot Ben a warning look, as if he was thinking of doing it again.
It annoyed Ben greatly, that they were both talking about him like he wasn't there. Though he was used to people discussing him behind locked door, it always hurt. Why couldn't he just leave and go get Rey? This discussion was pointless any way. His father was never going to change his mind...unless...
Finally, Han turned his full attention back to his son. "Why were you having a tantrum..?" asked his father surprised, like that had never happened before, when in fact it was a common occurrence at home. Not that he was often witness to it, as he was so often away.
"I want to be smuggler," replied Ben and expected his father to be won over by, at least, that perfect father-son answer. "And.." He was going to add the bit about having found his dream girl that needed him and he needed her, but his father interjected before he could say anything more.
"I know, but that is no reason to have a tantrum. A tantrum is never the answer. You know that, son," said his father softly, like he was talking to toddler, who tried to jab his finger into a electric socket like a droid. Something Ben had tried, when he was very small and didn't know better and wanted to mimic Artoo or the other droids.
"Luke tried to kill me." Ben pulled out his best card he had saved for the last. If this didn't work to get him home, nothing would.
"WHAAAT?" shouted Han, like Ben had just showed a sabacc hand, that was no way to get without cheating, as it was full hand with only one kind of a card. Or screamed in rage, as if someone had blown up the Falcon in front of his eyes.
"It was not like that! It was accident, but we have sorted it out. Leia knows," said Luke, that was way more prepared, to answer this time and wasn't as afraid of Han's reaction as Leia's. Not by far. A Jedi master can't be afraid of a smuggler...but a forcesensetive senator...yieks...
"He tried to stab me with his lightsaber," said Ben, as he added another card to his his game, even though technically he should've won it already. So why hadn't he?
"Lightsaber...? Are you telling the truth?" a hint of disbelief seeped into his father's voice, as if it was somehow out of character for Luke to use a saber against people. Which was weird, because how else could've his uncle have tried to kill him? Poison him, choke him...oh wait, that already happened. But Ben thought the lightsaber one was enough, so he didn't tell his father about those instances, also because Luke was sure to make it look like it was all Ben's fault.
"Ben broke into my office, he tried to breach my mind and I didn't know it was him...but thankfully I managed to stop in time," said Luke, to confirm the truth of story but making himself look like the hero, like always.
"No, if the force hadn't warned me in time I would've been dead," said Ben, who had complete different view of what happened.
"What...really?" Luke looked shocked as he hadn't gotten that information. He grabbed Ben's shoulder and pulled him to him and wrapped his arm around him, as if he was afraid he would disappear by speaking that truth out loud.
"Broke...breach...force...? What are you talking about? Dead...? Please tell me you are joking..." said his father pleadingly, as he couldn't take more force information like that and sounded like someone, who had woken up and was disoriented after a horrible nightmare.
"I'm not joking...and this didn't even just happen once...I'm scared. I want to go home...please..." said Ben and hoped to at last get through to his father. He should be easier to break, then his stubborn mother.
"I know son...I will come and get you when you have gotten ridden of the darkness. I promise," his father said in a dream-like voice.
Ah...there he gave me the promise...not as dramatic as in my...dream...
KR: Pity...
And why does neither of my parents take the threat to my life seriously?!
KR: They simply don't care.
"But when will that be...?" asked Ben with a choked up voice, who couldn't believe not even that had worked. Hopelessness filled him. Despair was engulfing him.
"Sorry, I've bad reception...the connection is breaking up...I lov.."
The connection broke and turned into loud screeching static. Ben stared frozen at it, as if he has lost connection to his last piece of hope. To his soul. To his Rey...
His uncle turned off and pocketed the com-link.
"We better get you to bed, kid."
He took his hand, picked up his duffle bag in the other and led him out of the destroyed room, where he was still in daze, after the call that had sealed his fate.
Is the memory over now?
KR: Nope.
Should've known...how much longer are you going to torment me?
KR: You will see.
"Lov...? What was he going to say...? Not..love? No, not my dad. He probably was going to say list of valour little sons must show or pay the ultimate price," muttered Ben, when he was back in bed in his new room, as if to pick up where they left up, since he woke up again, after his daze.
"What are you blabbering about? You know what he said. Your mom said the same thing." Luke by some pure optimism, lay in the other bed as he thought could catch some sleep that night. Which was not going to happen.
"Does this mean he is still angry with me...?" asked Ben in such a small voice, that it was hard to tell whether he was asking his uncle or just talking to himself, or the voice in his head.
Luke groaned, as he really wanted to wait until tomorrow to discuss things, but knew that was impossible and he had no longing to make Ben go to that dark place again. "You ruined my office...you talked back to him. You hoped the Falcon got stolen. That was foolish, especially after what you did to end up here. Not to mention how you nearly lost your life because of stupid plan. You are lucky, he didn't come over here...or ask me to punish you in his place...or worse call your mother," he scolded him and then he completely changed his tone.
"But don't worry, not matter how mad we are at you, we will always love you...or rather, we will be mad because we love you..." He smiled at him, as he really believed that would never ever change.
Ben glowered at him. "That doesn't make any sense."
"It will, when you have children of your own...I mean you of course can't...Jedi code...but try to imagine that...no skip that..." said his uncle and kind of wished he hadn't brought up, that explosive topic in the first place.
"I had children with Rey."
"You can't, Jedi code...had?" Luke stared at him, as if he was seeing an older person instead of a cute innocent little boy, who was talking about having babies in the future. Like it was all a game to him.
"They betrayed me," spat Ben.
"Huh?" Luke's eye brow rose so hight that they nearly disappeared under his bright hair. What a weird game.
"So I need new ones...with Rey," declared Ben, like that was the right answer he was seeking to take away all of his and her pain.
Is that what's going on here?
KR: What do you mean?
You are so mad at Luke and mom, that you want to have new offspring with Vader/Rey...?
KR: No, I want to rule with Vader, kids are extra...
Oookay...
KR: Or well, of course we would have to make sure the the Vader dynasty continued...
Please don't say anything more!
KR: You asked me!
"Ben, you don't give up on your children like that...no matter what they have done," lectured Luke, like it was his most important lesson.
"Mom and dad gave up on me," snapped Ben, annoyed over the hypocrisy of that lecture.
"They didn't give up on you..." replied his uncle in a light tone, like it was the most idiotic thing for him to even consider.
"And I don't want dad to come here..." declared Ben darkly, as if his father would dare to show up, way too late, he would push him away.
"You don't...?" Luke looked surprised, as if hadn't most of the night revolved around him trying to contact his father to go home?
"He betrayed me," Ben spat hatefully.
"Betrayed...? No, your father is just a very busy man..." said his uncle shocked, over how Ben thought everyone had betrayed him. "No one has betrayed you...we love you..."
"Neither of them even care, that you tried to kill me!" Ben shouted venomously, as he thought back to the hurt their reactions, had brought him.
"It was an accident, they know that..." said his uncle, as carelessly as if he had only dropped him on the floor, while playing x-wing with him. "I would never harm you, son."
"They are both way too busy for me! They only called back to...to lecture me! They never care unless I wreck or do bad stuff! I never exist until then! They don't care if I die! I'm just a monster to them, that should be killed! They want me to die, so they can get rid of me forever...I'm just a burden to them!" Ben punched the wall over and over again.
"Ben, Ben...that's not true, don't say things like that. You know, they love you very much. I will take care of you...until they can," said his uncle as soothingly as possible and to try to keep the walls from breaking, or Ben's fists from bruising and bleeding.
Ben wiped his eyes in frustration. "How? I'm only one of your students. No one has any time for me...or Rey...Rey..." He clutched the pillow softly, like it was his Rey in his grasp instead of a fluffy pillow. "My Rey..." He picked up his calligraphy set and drew her face from his dreams, on the pillow. It calmed him down, as her form started to appear in front of his eyes, line by line.
"That might be true that you are just one of my students, but your training is the most important. Because you are the chosen one...and my son. You have to finish your training first...or well begin it first..." Luke said tired, since he realised how much work was ahead of them, as Ben had already crossed the darkside line many times and only this night and he was seriously worried about this Rey/Vader obsession, but didn't comment on it.
The word training, ignited white, hot fury in Ben's chest, who stopped drawing and put the Rey-pillow down, since he didn't want to hurt her as he thundered. "NO! I don't want that! I don't want to stay here with you! I hate this. I hate you! Hate you! No, No, No!" He shouted, when his uncle embraced him and rubbed his back, before he could destroy this room completely as well with his out of control anger.
"Calm down, breathe."
"No, that's dad's technique. You don't get to use it...I want to go home! I want to get Rey!" Ben struggled in his hold and hit him with his small fists, but when his uncle didn't let go of him, all of the fight went of out of him and because of exhaustion and hopelessness. "Even though there is never anyone home...I will just...sulk in my bedroom...all alone...but at least I will have my toys...and maybe Rey...can we at least go and get her...?" He begged for some small hope in his darkness.
"Sush...my little padawan. Everything is okay now...you are safe here. You are not alone. I'm here with you, I'm not going anywhere...my little nephew...," he rocked him in his arm.
"Nephew? You hardly call me that anymore..." said Ben surprised.
"I know..but that still doesn't change the fact that you are...my dear and only nephew, my son and that's why you have to be a role model for the other students...but most importantly you have to do this...it's for your future and the galaxy. This is the only place where you can truly be safe...here with me," he stroke his hair.
"I don't care. I don't want to be here. I want to go home! I want my parents! I want Rey!" He pointed at the smiling pillow. He knew for a fact, she wouldn't be smiling like that in future unless he saved her now and the thought of her being alone, filled him with righteous anger.
"I know, but you are the chosen one. Why can't you see that? We, your family are trying to help you. You have a great destiny ahead and you have to be prepared for it, please...listen to me. I beg you. I want to speak to my Ben," Luke cupped his face in his hands and looked deep into his eyes, as he tried to connect with him again.
"You are speaking to him..." said Ben, as if there was no possibility of it not being him. "I just want to go home...please unca. Please convince my stupid parents to take me home...or go get Rey...or both..." he said pleadingly, as he tried a plea bargain.
"Don't call them stupid. You will get home in time, you just have to work very hard at it...I promise," said his uncle.
"But, I miss them so much...I'm so cold...I just want to go home...I just want to save Rey...please..." He grabbed the pillow, which he could at least keep safe with his current powers.
"You can't go home...yet...do you want me to call them again..? To say goodnight? Would that make you feel better?" said his uncle, who completely ignored the Rey part of his sentence.
"No, they are far too busy. I'm so cold..." Ben shivered and grabbed tighter onto the Rey-pillow for warmth.
"Cold...? Please don't tell me...are you coming down with a cold?" His uncle put a hand on his forehead and furrowed his brows, when he felt it was ice cold instead of warm. "That's not good. Is that why you have been acting out like that...? Do you want some hot cocoa and cookies?"
Little Ben nodded, as he never said no to those things and hugged the Rey-pillow tigher
"Okay, wait here." Luke closed the door behind him softly.
Stupid uncle...that is not what I needed...no one can give me that...except Rey...
KR: It was, what I needed...for the darkside...
Cookies?
KR: No, we have cookies.
You do?
KR: Of course, very delicious ones, I told you I bake...but what I mean was...your uncle doing the wrong thing...
Giving me cookies...?
KR: You really don't see what he did wrong here...? For you, not for me.
No...I mean...I...what were we talking about again...?
KR: You can't even focus inside your own mind! He should've let you go home! Like you have been constantly screaming about!
I know...but neither mom and dad wanted me to come home...
KR: Then at least you should've gone and get Rey.
That we should've done...why didn't we?
KR: Or maybe you did?
Huh?
Next up: Unexpected parental attention... (the last part of this long ass chapter...) Finally fluffy time!