Well, y'all, here we are, at those last few chapters - the ones I thought would probably get redone. Aside from the fact that time hasn't been on my side with regard to rewriting, no other ideas came to me over these past few months. And besides, considering my current state of work-distress, I now find it somewhat amusing what I do to poor Luke, here. Of course, ol' Luke would probably clobber me if he could, and so might y'all.

So - the obvious - don't own 'em, don't earn from 'em, so don't sue me...

And, of course, thanks to all who have stuck with me throughout. You may soon be saying - I stayed with you for 33 chapters for that?

But, with no further adieu...

Chapter 34 – You've Got Homework

"Now Jesse, don't you give me a hard time," Boss Hogg warned his one-time friend, even before Jesse Duke could find himself a seat.

"You're the one that said it was so all-fired important that I come over here, J.D. I don't know what's goin' on, and I ain't gonna promise you not to give you a hard time until I do," Jesse informed the squat little man that was sitting behind the oversized desk in his courthouse office. For some reason, Hogg had chased his sheriff out of the room, and Jesse didn't know whether he thought this was a good sign or a bad one.

"Dat! All right, Jesse Duke, just listen to me now. I got a little situation an' I'm gonna need your help."

The Duke patriarch got very worried. If Jefferson Davis Hogg was willing to admit that he needed Jesse's help, it must be a matter of life and death. "Is Lulu all right?" It was the first thing that came to his mind.

"Who?" The commissioner actually pulled his cigar out of his mouth to ask that one.

"Your wife, J.D. Is she sick or somethin'?"

"Oh, her. No Jesse, it ain't her. Dat! Just listen, don't talk none." There was no way he was going to get through this if Jesse didn't hush. It was almost more than he could do, asking for this man's assistance. "I need your help with another matter, more like business."

Acquiescing to Hogg's request that he stay silent, Jesse didn't speak. But the skeptical look on his face was worthy of his oldest nephew.

"All right, Jesse, quit lookin' at me like that!" The man snapped. This was too much for the Duke patriarch.

"I ain't allowed to talk, and I ain't allowed to look at you. So, tell me why you interrupted my meal with my family and made me come into town to not look at you nor talk to you?" If he hadn't been so annoyed, he would have laughed.

Boss Hogg sighed. His one-time friend could always bring him to his knees if he really tried. Fortunately for him, Jesse Duke was a respectful man, who didn't like to humiliate anyone, even an old rival like J.D.

"All right Jesse, it's like this. Remember how you was here asking after federal funds a couple months back?"

"And you was tellin' me we couldn't have any, yeah, I remember. You gonna tell me you was lyin'?" Jesse asked, resigned. He had to admit that it wouldn't surprise him at all if Boss had actually gotten emergency funds, but kept them for himself.

"No…" the man in white said, looking genuinely miserable. "It's really true. I can't get us no Federal funds. But Jesse? We sure need them. There just ain't no money circulatin' around this town. An' I've been hearin' talk about people leavin', headin' out to Atlanta to start over. They didn't do no better in the hurricane down there, but they got an economy now, because they got Federal funds."

"Well now, J.D., you're finally seeing the light. I was startin' to wonder if you ever would," Jesse chastised gently. "Sometimes I think your brains went the way of your hair. You used to be pretty smart."

"Now Jesse…"

"I ain't supposed to give you a hard time," Jesse said with a sigh. "All right, J.D., what do you need from me?"

"I need you to help me figure out how to get Federal funds into this county," Boss said. "They won't give 'em to me, but maybe they'll give 'em to you…"

The older men worked together for half the afternoon, making calls and finding their way through red tape. More than once, Jesse thought he might be forced to strangle the blustering commissioner, but before he had to resort to such measures, the Duke patriarch had an inspired thought. Calling Daniel Green from the Georgia Department of Emergency Management, Jesse at least knew that they'd reach a man that could be reasoned with.

The former 'shine runner did the talking. It had been more than obvious that Hogg irked the other man in just the few hours that Jesse had witnessed them together. And while Green could promise Jesse nothing, at least he was inclined to try to help. New forms would be sent for the townspeople of Hazzard to fill out. These forms were not applications for the traditional Federal Emergency Funds, but something appropriately called the "Hazard Mitigation Fund." It was technically a government grant, to be awarded on a case-by-case basis, meaning that paperwork would have to be completed for each farmer or homesteader. It would be a lot of work, but Jesse could see two benefits. The first, and most important, was that J.D. would be left out of the process entirely. He could neither ask for, nor receive any money, since the man in white was not a farmer and had experienced no losses. The other benefit would have to wait until the oldest Duke got home.

Jesse chuckled to himself at the thought.

"No one is going to jail," Jesse half-comforted, half-yelled at his kids, trying to get them to stop peppering him with questions. "Not unless I call Rosco here right now and tell him to lock the three of you up long enough to let me get a word in edgewise." Meeting eyes with each of the three of them, the old man couldn't help but be amused. They had all been in the kitchen when he arrived home, and Bo had started the chorus with his suggestion that Boss wanted to arrest Luke. Daisy, who clearly hadn't thought of that yet, had joined in the questioning. As the younger two kids began escalating in their guesses as to what the commissioner and his lackey sheriff might do to harm the Duke family, Luke had joined in the fray with his own thoughts, mostly that his younger cousins were wrong on each count they brought up. While Luke wasn't contributing any new ideas, he was definitely keeping the debate lively with his baritone contradictions.

Finally hushing the three of them with his idle threat to get the sheriff, Jesse sat down at the table, prompting his kids to do the same and let him tell them about his visit to town.

"J.D. ain't plannin' on doin' anything you need to worry about. He's just finally bad off enough to swallow some pride and ask for a little help. Seems that the fact that there's no money circulatin' through the town hasn't escaped his notice." Jesse scowled at the snickers his words elicited. Though he'd put it humorously, he needed to remain a little stern with the cousins right now. Jefferson Davis Hogg was certainly a scourge upon the family, but the commissioner was their elder, and his kids would show the man some respect. Not much, but Jesse would see to it that they showed at least a little. "So he asked for my help to figure out how to get some funds for the county," Jesse concluded with a shrug, as if this was a common event.

"He asked for your help?" Bo asked, laughter bubbling up in him despite the glare coming from the head of the table.

"Yes, he did. And I gave it to him, so quit smilin' like a fool. You ought to know by now that when someone asks for your help you give it to them." It wouldn't do to let his boys know that he hadn't exactly been a perfect angel in dealing with J.D. If he gave those two an inch, they'd take more than a mile, no question about that. They'd take him all the way to Chickasaw and back before he even knew what had happened.

"All right, Uncle Jesse," Luke said, slinging an arm around Bo, and half threatening to cover the younger boy's mouth with his hand. "What did you help him do?"

"Well, we found some state money, but we're gonna have to do some work for it," Jesse announced, with a slight smile. "Or rather, you are. You wanted to help the family, right?"

"Yeah…" Luke answered warily. There was something in the twinkle of his uncle's eye that made him wonder what the old man was up to.

"Well here's your chance to help not only us, but all the other farmers of the county that're strugglin'. What we can get is called 'mitigation fund,' also known as a government grant. Which means we gotta write about why we need the money, and how it will be used to make the community stronger. It's about a twenty-five page form with a bunch of essay questions, I'm told," Jesse informed him. "You've got homework, Luke. Once you write one of those, it can probably be copied by everyone else, but you get to do the first one."

Luke tried, but just couldn't quite get ahold of the groan before it slipped out from between his teeth. At least he was able to keep himself from saying "I don't wanna," but barely. While he hadn't suffered quite as badly as Bo had in school, Luke was not exactly a stellar student, and homework had never been his first choice of an activity. Especially not writing.

"Did you say something, Luke?" Jesse asked, with a as much manufactured innocence as he could muster.

"No, sir," Luke answered, focusing hard on the fact that this was going to help his family keep the farm that had belonged to them for generations.

"I'll help you, Luke," Daisy offered.

"No you won't," Jesse butted in. "Because those forms won't be here until tomorrow. And the day after that, we're startin' to plant. Gonna need you out in the fields, Daisy-girl."

Jesse hadn't arrived at any of these decisions lightly. Luke was still not looking completely healthy, and while some hard work would ultimately be good for him, the youngster wasn't ready for it just yet. Jesse wanted a probably a week's worth of good, solid meals in Luke before the boy should be out there doing full days of labor. The process would be slower without him, but with Daisy's assistance out in the fields, it wouldn't be so bad. Besides, Luke still needed to learn something. Jesse hadn't quite been able to bring himself to punish the boy, but he hadn't wanted to let him off the hook, either.

And then there was the idea of taking government assistance at all. The old man had never done that, and really didn't care for the idea of doing it now. But as he had pointed out to his oldest, Hurricane David had contained a killing wind, one that had flattened the hopes of the town. It wasn't simply to save the Duke farm that he would have Luke do this, but to attempt to give the entire community a boost.

"Luke, I'll expect you to come out in the mornings and help us get started. But from ten in the mornin' until five in the afternoon, you're in here writing. After that, you can come work with us again into the evening, got it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Don't sound so glum, boy. You've only got to do it until you get the whole thing done. Green said it shouldn't take more than a week," Jesse said, the angle of his jaw hinting at the tiniest of smiles. "An' you don't even have to do the numbers part, 'cause that's J.D.'s contribution. He's gonna lend us Emery Potter for that section."

"Yes, sir," Luke answered again, no happier. He might have been able to enjoy the mathematical aspects, at least. He'd always hated school essays, but arithmetic wasn't usually so bad.

"Yeah, Luke, don't sound so glum," Bo teased. "At least you'll be gettin' out of some manual labor."

"Keep it up Bo, and you'll be working beside him in here. Don't think I won't do it," Jesse warned. "I can always get Cooter to come work the fields with Daisy and me." It was a bluff, but he knew Bo wouldn't take a chance on calling it.

"Yes, sir," Bo answered, but as soon as his uncle's back was turned, he stuck out his tongue at his older cousin. In spite of himself, Luke had to laugh.