Sebastian stirs beside me, I can feel the heat radiate off his naked body onto mine
Sebastian stirs beside me, I can feel the heat radiate off his naked body onto mine. I turn to my side and watch as his face continually contorts, my hand reaches out to touch him and I almost feel as though I'm being burnt by his skin. My hand becomes drenched with sweat and I become worried.
"Sebastian?" I whisper softly, running my fingers through his soft curls. "Seb, wake up baby." I kiss his ear lobe.
His body jerks suddenly and his eyes pop open, they're so distant and glassy I feel as if he isn't even there. My hand runs over his face, his hand goes over mine and we smile together.
"Kathryn." He whispers in disbelief.
"I'm here, Seb. Always here."
Sebastian's eyes close again and he lets out a soft sigh and runs his hands through my hair.
"Don't ever go away." He tells me, kissing my forehead.
I smile and as my mouth moves to his, I feel this sudden urge to vomit. I pull back.
"Are you okay?" He asks, brushing his thumb over my cheek.
"I don't…I…don't feel…" Suddenly I pull back the covers of the bed and get up and run to the bathroom. I hear Sebastian trailing after me as I lean my head over the toilet bowl and throw up last night's dinner. Sebastian rushes to my side and pulls back my hair as I helplessly regurgitate my food.
"That's it baby. Just let it come out." Sebastian says, rubbing my back.
I keep throwing up for a few minutes before it finally stops and I flush the toilet and lean against the wall. Sebastian passes me my toothbrush and a glass of water, I take the items thankfully and make quick work of removing the taste of vomit from my mouth.
"Do you feel okay?" He asks gently.
"Not really." I tell him, still feeling the urge to vomit.
"Get dressed. I'll take you to the hospital." He says.
"Don't be and idiot, Sebastian. I'm not dying. But thank you."
He picks me up in his arms and places me back on the bed and under the warmth of the covers.
"Tomorrow, you're going to the doctors." He says, kissing my forehead.
I close my eyes and try to settle the sick feeling stirring in the pit of my stomach. I feel better once Sebastian climbs in next to be and wraps his arms around me, holding me close and whispering things into my ear. I'm too tired and feeling too sick to call him a pussy.
--
I wake up, still feeling nauseas, I make it to the bathroom just in time as I throw up the contents of any other food I had left in me into the toilet bowl. I hear Sebastian's footsteps and then I see him in the corner of my eye dressed in a suit and looking at me sympathetically.
"I made a doctor's appointment for you in an hour."
My head lifts slowly and I look at him.
"Where are you going?" I ask, wiping my mouth on toilet paper and brushing my teeth.
"I have a business meeting today. I'd cancel it so I could come with you but it's important. I've arranged for Blaine to go with you to the doctor's."
"I'm not a child Sebastian."
"I know. But I'm worried. Let me worry. Let me be a husband."
I start to nod before I turn around and vomit more. He laughs and brushes my hair back from my face. It takes me almost the full hour to dress, every so often vomiting but eventually I get there right before Blaine knocks on my bedroom door.
"You here, Kathryn?" He calls.
"Yeah." I sigh. "Unfortunately."
He laughs when he sees me. My face is pale, I have no make-up on, my hair looks like it hasn't been brushed and I'm dressed in the loosest fitting jeans I could find and a t-shirt.
"Come on Princess, let's get you better."
He offers me a joint on the way to the doctor's but I tell him no as I lean against the door inside the car and wish I was dead. Seriously, I felt so shit.
We get in the door and take a seat and not even 30 seconds later my name is called. Blaine tells me to go on and I follow the woman doctor into her office and take a seat.
"So, Kathryn. What seems to be the problem?"
"I feel so sick. Ugh." I tell her. "I'm vomiting continually, I feel nauseas and just overall shit."
"Have you had any flu symptoms? High temperature maybe?"
"No. I woke up last night and my husband and I were kissing and I just suddenly felt sick and the need to vomit."
"Are you pregnant?" She asks blatantly, jotting down notes.
I laugh and then excuse myself. "Sorry. No. I'm not. Sebastian and I aren't trying for kids."
"Do you mind if I take some blood?" She asks, getting out a needle.
"Of course not." I smile half heartedly as she pokes the needle into me and takes blood.
"I'll send the blood to the pathology lab now and I should have results tomorrow morning. If it's anything serious I'll call you, if not just come back if you keep vomiting."
"Thanks."
Blaine meets me outside, he's casually smoking a cigarette when I come out, I snatch it off him and take a drag, passing it back to him and going to my limo. He gets in.
"So what was the doc's prognosis? Cancer? Tumour?"
"She didn't know. She took blood and that was all. Actually she asked me if I was pregnant, I laughed in her face."
"Ha ha. She obviously doesn't know who you are."
"Obviously."
--
Sebastian gets home late, I hear his briefcase slam on the floor and he curses. I get up from my seat on the sofa and stand in the middle of the room. He looks at me and smiles.
"What did the doctor say?" He asks, standing 3 feet away from me.
"She took blood. Told me to come in if I keep feeling like this, otherwise she'll call me if it's serious."
"You probably just have a 24 hour thing."
"Yeah. How was your day?"
"Shit. We lost the Tokyo partnership because some fickle idiot forgot to tell me the new appointment time. I spent an hour thinking I was waiting for them when they were waiting for me at a different restaurant."
"Did you fire them?" I smirk.
"Yes." He breathes as my hand runs down his chest.
"I missed you today. Let's do something tomorrow, yeah?"
"What do you want to do baby?"
"Can we go see a movie?"
He nods and kisses me softly, his arms wrap around my body and he swiftly picks me up and carries me all the way upstairs, shredding my clothing as we get closer to the bedroom.
--
The two people on the movie screen start kissing and fondling each other and I feel Sebastian's hand move to my knee where he slides it up slowly until he reaches my panties. He thinks I'll swat him away but I just slide my hand up with his and shove his fingers in my pussy. He gasps instead of I and I look at him with an evil smirk.
He mouths slut at me and I just mouth bastard back at him.
My phone starts buzzing, we're interrupted and I look to the caller ID. Unknown. I tell Sebastian I'll be right back and rush outside the cinema to answer my call.
"Kathryn speaking." I answer.
"Kathryn, this is Doctor Patricia, you saw me yesterday?"
"Oh yeah. Hi. Do you have the results?"
"As a matter of fact I do. Would you like to come in tomorrow?"
"I'm busy." I tell her, kind of worried of what she's about to say but I still lie to her and tell her I'm busy.
"Well I'd rather deliver this in person, but if you don't mind I could tell you now."
"Not at all. Am I dying? Is it cancer?" I ask, jumping to assumptions.
She laughs on the other end and stops me. "It's good news. You're pregnant, just after 8 weeks along. Congratulations. Have a good night."
The doctor hangs up, I stand in my same position. My mouth is slightly open and I feel so still. Pregnant. Child. Kid. Pregnant. No. I can't be, can I? I mean, I knew I hadn't gotten my period for 2 months, but I just assumed it was to do with my eating habits, it certainly wasn't unusual for me to skip a period every now and then.
I see Sebastian's head pop around the door but I can't even find the words to call him over. He smiles and walks over to me and kisses my head.
"Bad news?" He says.
Yes. "No. The doctor called to tell me I'm all clear. 24 hour thing like you said." I half smile, lying to him like back when we were kids. Oh god. Kids.
"That's great. Shall we go celebrate? Maybe a few imported bottles of French champagne?" He grins, leading me out of the movie complex.
"I'm feeling kind of tired. Can we just go home?" I ask, looking straight ahead and not in his eyes. I'm not even sure if I can lie to him straight faced anymore.
"Sure babe. Whatever you want."
We get in his jag and my hand subconsciously goes over my stomach, he looks at me weirdly as he steers out into the street.
"You okay?" He asks, averting his eyes from the road for a second.
"Yeah. Fine. Just fine."
His hand places over mine on my stomach. I cringe. A kid. A fucking kid.
Two choices Kathryn, to abort or not to abort?
--
"Blaine I fucking need to talk to you. Where the fuck are you? Pick up your fucking stupid fucking phone will you? Call me back when you get this please. I'm desperate." I say into my phone as I leave another message on Blaine's cell phone.
I pace back and forwards, I have been doing so for hours. Sebastian's gone to work again and Blaine was the first person I could think of talking to. He's not answering. He's just not answering.
The doorman enters the room. "Miss Kathryn, there's a Miss Annette Hargrove at the door for you."
"Tell her to fuck off…no wait. Let her in." I change my mind suddenly.
I keep pacing and it's only when she clears her throat I notice she's standing in the door way dressed in a pale blue pencil skirt and white shirt that actually looks half decent on her. She better live it up while she can, she's going to be fat soon. Oh god. So am I.
"Hargrove, what do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?"
"Clearly." She laughs. "What are you doing? You're making me nauseous."
"Pacing. Pacing helps deal with stress and anger and just over all feeling. Blaine's not answering, I'm about to murder him."
"Something on your mind?" She asks as she takes a seat, resting the bridal magazines she has in her hands beside her.
"No. Yes. No. Yes. Yes, but I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"It's personal. Plus, you're Annette Hargrove and if I told you, you're likely to go blab to Sebastian."
She laughs and shakes her head at me. "Do you have no faith in me at all? I can keep a secret, even from Sebastian. You can tell me. Trust me it helps to get things off your chest."
I bite my nails absentmindedly, chipping away all the nail polish my manicurist had worked hard on. Annette observes me, her staring itches my skin. She's not intimidating but I was so fragile and I caved.
"I'mpregnant." It comes out in one word rather than two and she stops flicking through her magazines and looks up at me slowly.
I freeze, stop breathing. I can't believe I just told Annette fucking Hargrove I was pregnant.
"It is Sebastian's right?" She asks.
"Excuse me? You're in my house and you accuse me of cheating on him?"
"I didn't accuse you of anything Kathryn but given your history it was only right to ask. It's his right?"
I nod and shove her magazines aside, sitting beside her on the sofa and tapping my fingers on my bare legs. She watches me curiously for many minutes.
"It's not such a bad thing you know? Children are God's gift. They can bring so much happiness to someone. Sebastian wants children doesn't he? It'll make him happy."
"You don't get it Annette. I don't want children."
"Why not?"
I laugh at myself, why the hell am I sharing this with Kansas?
"Because I'm afraid I'll turn out like my mother, okay? I'm afraid my kid will grow up to hate me and Sebastian just as much as I hated my mother."
"You'll never be anything like her, Kathryn. You're so much better than her, look how much you've changed."
"Annette, if I decide…well…to um…"
"Have an abortion." She says, sighing. Being a lady of God and all.
"You won't tell Sebastian right? You won't tell him I was pregnant with his child and killed it."
"Of course not. But I am religious and I believe that everyone deserves a chance Kathryn, even if you don't end up keeping the child in the long run. Wouldn't it be better to be a surrogate mother and give another woman a chance at motherhood then killing a child?"
"It's a foetus." I say blandly.
"It's a life none the less. It breathes. It eats. It's human and it's murder." She says plainly.
I bite my lip and pick up one of her magazines. She resumes to her one and folds the corners of pages where she likes dresses. I flick through, not even paying attention. My mind has so much more to think about then stupid wedding dresses.
--
Annette has long gone by the time Blaine finally rings back. I answer with a gruff finally, he gets his panties in a twist and huffs loudly.
"If you're going to be so rude I don't know why I bothered calling back. I could be fucking my boyfriend right now you know?"
"Sorry." I sigh, admiring a glass of scotch I filled earlier. Of course, I haven't drunk any of it yet, but I'm so tempted.
It's late, probably 10 or 11 at night, Sebastian called around 7 and said he won't be home until midnight at the earliest. I haven't eaten and I know I should but I haven't.
There's a pause between the both of us and I start to cry softly a first I don't think Blaine hears me but as I sniffle and sob he starts to notice.
"Are you crying?" He asks in disbelief.
"No." I tell him sternly.
"What's wrong, Kathryn?"
"I can't tell you." I sob. "I fucking can't tell you."
"Kathryn you know I'm not going to tell Sebastian if that's what you're worried about."
My crying gets louder and soon I'm choking back tears and sniffling and Blaine's trying to calm me down.
"Please don't cry, Kathryn. Just tell me what's wrong maybe I can help?"
"Unless you can turn back time to I don't know, like 8 and a half weeks ago then you can't."
He takes awhile to think about it and then he gasps.
"Oh my God. You're pregnant."
I don't even tell him if he's right because even if I lie and say no he'll still think I am. He sighs loudly and I give a little sniffle, wiping my eyes and running my hands through my hair.
"I don't know what to do, Blaine. I was so fucking confused when you wouldn't answer your phone that I revealed I was pregnant to Annette. Can you believe that?"
He laughs. "To Kansas? Jesus Kathryn were you drunk?"
"No. I haven't drunken anything since I found out."
"Well, what are you going to do about it?" He asks gently.
"I'm seriously contemplating keeping the thing. Am I insane Tuttle, I mean for wanting to keep it?"
"Not at all. But I think even if you decide not to, you should tell Sebastian. If he finds out that you were pregnant and aborted the baby he'll be furious and it won't be something he will easily forgive you on when you shake your ass out in front of him this time."
"I know."
"Look, Kathryn, I'm sorry but I really have to go. I really suggest you talk to Sebastian about this. I love you Princess."
"Yeah. You too Tuttle."
I don't wait for Sebastian to get home. I'm in bed and almost asleep by the time I hear him get into bed. He climbs in and whispers in my ear to ask if I'm awake but I ignore him. I feel him smile against my ear as he kisses it softly and begins to feel his hands down to my waist.
"Sebastian don't." I whisper, moving his hand from my waist.
"So you are awake."
"I am. But I don't feel like fucking you."
"Well that's okay baby, I'll fuck you, just sit back and relax." He smirks, reaching up and under my nightgown to my panties.
"Sebastian, I said don't!" I yell.
He relinquishes.
"What's up your ass?"
"Not you that's for sure. I'm tired from your stupid ex-girlfriend coming over here filling my head with her horrible wedding ideas. So fuck off, not tonight."
He mumbles something but I ignore him and close my eyes, blinking back tears.
Thanks for the reviews! Love you all.