A/N: FILLER! This chapter is purely for entertainment purposes. You can skip over it and miss nothing from the main plot line. However, if you want some laughs and Middream fluff, then by all means read on!

Chapter 36: Everyone Needs a Kitty Cat!

Dreamer was stunned when Mirajane came bursting in through her bedroom door with tears running down her face, and a massive white-toothed smile.

"There's someone I want you to meet," she had said, as she forcefully tugged Dreamer to the living room, where sitting on the couch was a girl who looked just like Mira, but smaller and with short hair. "This is Lisanna. She's alive, Dreamer. She's home!"

After a tearful and admittedly confusing reunion, the two girls sat Dreamer down and told her all about how a group of Fairy Tail wizards had traveled to an alternate dimension called Edolas, and saved Earthland from total magical destruction. Apparently, Dreamer couldn't remember any of it because she'd been trapped in a giant lacrima with the rest of Fairy Tail. Oh, and on top of that, Happy and Carla were things called Exceeds, which originated from said alternate dimension. And on top of that, Mystogan was actually a prince of the alternate dimension.

"Mystogan is a prince?" Dreamer spilled her tea for exactly the fifth time during the conversation.

"Well, actually, he's the king now," Lisanna corrected.

"Oh, Dreamer!" Mira reached in between her breasts and pulled out an entire envelope and a velvet box. "That reminds me! He gave this to Lucy to give to you!"

Dreamer blanched and eyed the envelope with something close to terror. She gingerly reached out and took the proffered items.

"Well?! Aren't you going to open them?!" Mira squealed in delight, clasping her hands together.

"Uh… I'd rather not." She swallowed nervously after glancing at the official looking wax stamp on the envelope.

"Come on, Dreamer!" Mira prodded. "We'll probably never see anyone from Edolas again. Don't you want to see what his last words to you were?"

"I don't get it," Lisanna whispered. "She knew Prince Jellal?"

"They were dating," Mira said, matter-of-factly.

"FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME, WE WERE NEVER DATING!" Dreamer's eyebrow twitched.

"Whatever you say, Dreamer!" Mira giggled. "She doesn't like to talk about it," she whispered to her little sister.

"I can still hear you, you know." Dreamer groaned. She closed one eye and tore the envelope open with gritted teeth. Inside was a note written on golden parchment, with curly letters and perfect penmanship that could only belong to Mystogan. "Alright, might as well get this over with…"

Dearest Dreamer,

She face-palmed before continuing.

I have a feeling that my time in Earthland is almost up. Sadly, there will soon come a day when I will be separated from this world and its inhabitants; and I will be apart from you.

"Read it out loud!"

"Not on your life!"

Now, since these may be my last words to you, I wish to apologize for my deception. You see, Dreamer… I knew you used your charm magic on me the first day we met. In fact, all the times following, I was only pretending to be under your spell. It was a good effort on your part, though.

Dreamer's eyes went wide and her cheeks flushed pink. HE KNEW?!

I am aware you were only using my company for the sake of receiving sleeping pills from me, but I am not cross with you. I will admit that it was nice to occasionally have someone to talk to, even if the basis of our friendship was built on deception. Therefore, I continued to pretend to be under your spell. I knew you would not tell anyone about our secret meetings and picnics in the woods, because of the fear of revealing your use of illegal charm magic on me. It was a convenient excuse for me to be close to someone in Earthland. I consider our friendship genuine, even if we were both lying to one another.

She cleared her throat, as tears started to build up.

Dearest Dreamer, I must now confess another truth…

"Oh, Mavis…" Dreamer sweat-dropped as she continued to read, her face heating more and more with every sentence.

"Ooooooh, it's a love letter," Mira elbowed Lisanna in the ribs.

…and as sunlight faded into hues of pink, I was reminded each twilight of the magic circles in your endless eyes, and when I rested my head upon a pillow each night in your world, I closed my eyes and imagined…

Dreamer swallowed nervously and flipped the page over to reveal three more pages of similar content. She skimmed it over, with violet cheeks.

…what I would give to wrap my arms around you, to pull you against my chest and whisk you away, into my world. To serve you platters of mustard slathered white-bread, as you recline in my chair, garbed only in…

She quickly went to the last page.

…and now you know the truth. I leave you with one last gift. You will find enclosed in that box one last bottle of sleeping pills. I hope they will be enough for you, and that you will not find yourself in battle enough times to use them all in this lifetime. Please, stay safe, dearest Dreamer. You will forever be in my thoughts and in my heart.

She opened the velvet box and pocketed the bottle of pills. Then looked at the letter once more.

With Love,

Mystogan

"Hey, Mira. Do you know where Natsu is?"

"Hm? He's probably at the guild hall, why?"

"I need him to burn this."

It was strange. It wasn't as if anything had really changed since Macbeth officially joined Fairy Tail. Really, the only physical difference was the fuchsia colored guild mark on his left shoulder. But something felt different. Dreamer sensed it as she walked around the guild—emotions were more relaxed, friendly, hopeful.

Then again, that could have little to do with him joining the guild and more to do with this mysterious Edolas adventure.

Dreamer almost believed that it was all some elaborate prank—but the combination of Mystogan's embarrassing letter, and the arrival of the two newest members Pantherlily and Lisanna, made it believable.

Lisanna… Her death had occurred just before Dreamer joined Fairy Tail three years ago. She and Mirajane had stayed up many nights talking about her. Countless hours spent consoling Mira with her magic, helping her grieve. To think, she'd been alive the whole time, trapped in another world. Dreamer was so happy for her friend. It still seemed totally surreal.

The Mira look-alike sat across the table from Dreamer now, leaning on her older sister with an expression of bliss. The sight made her heart swell with joy.

"Honestly, I'm glad I was trapped in a giant lacrima that whole time," Dreamer expressed, thoughts drifting while eating lunch with several other members. "I don't think I could have emotionally handled meeting another me."

"We didn't run into Edolas 'you,'" Lucy said next to her. "Come to think of it, the Fairy Tail guild in Edolas seemed to have a lot less members than the one here."

"That's true," Lisanna chimed in. "Edolas Fairy Tail wasn't exactly a place you'd want to be," she giggled. "It's much more lively and welcoming here."

"Welcoming, huh?" By the expression on Lucy's face, she wasn't so sure. She was scowling as Natsu swung upside down by a rafter.

"But I did know some of you," Mira's sister added. "Like you, Macbeth!"

The wizard in question snored. He was sitting on the ground with his back against a pillar, sound asleep.

"He was in Edolas Fairy Tail?" Dreamer asked, so surprised that she didn't even notice a piece of chicken fall off of the fork that was halfway to her mouth.

"Huh?" Lisanna blinked, as if she didn't understand the question. Then she shook her head sharply. "Oh, no! He wouldn't have been caught dead associating with Fairy Tail!"

"How did you know him then?" Lucy asked, as equally curious. Okay, probably not nearly as curious as Dreamer, but still…

"He was the head priest of the Oracion Seis church, of course!"

Jaws dropped. "A-a church?"

"That's right!" She grinned and nodded. "They really are such a symbol of hope in Edolas. The archbishop Zero, head priest Macbeth, and four other priests who spread joy and hope to the people. They even had a reservoir of magic power hidden away to use when someone desperately needed it. I was surprised to hear that they're a dark guild in this world!"

She looked at Macbeth and had the ridiculous image of him standing in white robes singing hymns flash through her mind. She coughed on a piece of lettuce in mid-laugh.

"I didn't know the Edolas version of you, though, Dreamer," she cocked her head slightly at Dreamer. "Thank you for being such a good friend to sis while I was gone."

Mirajane giggled quietly. She and Dreamer shared a warm look. "It was my pleasure," Dreamer said, honestly. Then she turned her head and looked around the guild at the activity currently happening. She caught sight of Piper playing Texas Hold'em with Cana, Gray, Max, and a couple other faces. Naturally, he had the biggest pile of casino chips in front of him and a massive grin on his face. A drunk Cana kept trying to not-so-sneakily nab chips from him, until he grabbed her head and gave her the noogie of a lifetime to make her stop. It brought a smile to Dreamer's face, seeing him so relaxed and happy again. And knowing that he fully supported Macbeth's entrance into the guild…

"What about Piper?" she asked Lisanna. "Was he in Edolas Fairy Tail?"

"He was, actually." The girl sipped some pink lemonade through a straw before offering it to Mira, who politely declined. "He wasn't nearly as cool as this version, though. He was a nerd who played Castles and Creatures in the guild basement."

Lucy, Dreamer, and Mirajane all sweat dropped.

"Well, at least he was still some sort of dice wizard."

She was about to ask about Jezran (who had been away from the guild for a couple of weeks now), but was interrupted by an iron-dragon slayer suddenly slamming his boot on the table top. Another piece of chicken fell from her fork.

"Hey, Beth!" He leaned forward toward where Macbeth was sitting, a smirk nearly dragging from ear to dragon-slaying ear.

Macbeth's response was another loud snore.

"Wake up, punk, I got something to show ya!" He pounced over the table and crouched in front of the other man.

"Gajeel, I don't think that's a good idea," Dreamer said nervously. "He's in pretty deep sleep right now. I wouldn't wake him up if I were you."

"I don't care what he's in, I wanna show him my cat! Lily, get over here!"

Gajeel was swiftly joined by a small black cat (or wait, that's right, they were actually called exceeds, if she remembered correctly). The adorable creature folded its paws over its chest. "What do you need, Gajeel?"

"This is Beth, the guy I was telling you about, remember?" He slapped Macbeth hard on the shoulder, nearly toppling him over. The reflector mage still didn't flinch.

"Ah yes, your friend with the… what did you say, 'god-like' singing voice?"

"I'd say more like hellish," Lucy mumbled. The other girls giggled in agreement.

"Yup! That's Beth-Boy, my best friend!" He shook him violently by the shoulders. "Wake up and meet my cat! Told ya I'd get a damn cat if it killed me, didn't I?"

ZzzzzZzzz

"By the way, since when does he call him 'Beth?'" Lucy whispered.

"Ah… Ever since he joined Fairy Tail."

"Yeah, but why not 'Mac' or something?" Lisanna asked.

"I think it's cute," Mira giggled. "Kind of like how he calls Pantherlily 'Lily' instead of 'Panther.'"

"That's cute for a cat, but for another person…?"

"Wake up, man! Lily, show him what you can do!"

"As you wish." The black exceed transformed into a massive, muscular, man-shaped cat.

"That's… awkward," Dreamer blinked.

"He can be the mascot for the band! What do you think, Beth?" Gajeel grinned proudly, but Macbeth's head just bobbed sleepily, eyelashes fluttering a bit.

"Sorry, Gajeel. It's not happening," she shrugged.

The dragon-slayer pouted and sat with a huff on the edge of the bench. "It ain't right. I got myself a cat and this bastard doesn't even care."

"There, there." Mirajane stroked his broad back.

"It's not that he doesn't care," Dreamer started. "It's that—"

"He's just jealous he doesn't have a cat too!" Mira interrupted.

"…"

"…"

"…What?"

Gajeel seemed to think deeply about this. He stood up suddenly and slammed his hands on the table. "You're right!"

"Wait, Mira," Lucy waved her hands to try and stop the situation from getting out of control. "How does that even make sense? He's sleeping, not asking for a cat."

Dreamer nodded vigorously in agreement.

"Well… People who are depressed sleep a lot, right?" Mira touched her chin in thought. "And not having a cat would make someone depressed. So, logically, Macbeth is sleeping because he wants a cat!"

"She says logically but I'm not seeing it…" Lucy mumbled.

"It makes perfect sense!" Gajeel nodded and pumped a fist into the air. "I remember how pissed I was before I got my Lily! Every dragon-slayer needs a kitty cat!"

"Gajeel, he's not a dragon slayer," Lisanna helpfully said.

"Yeah, but his best friend is a dragon-slayer, so it's basically the same thing."

"Everyone needs a kitty cat!" Mira clapped.

The other women at the table all stared at them in disbelief.

"Alright, Lily! It's settled! We're gonna find Beth a cat!"

He practically ran out the guild hall doors.

"I'll help too!" Mira skipped in the opposite direction.

Meanwhile, a strand of drool hung from Macbeth's mouth.

"This is going to be bad," Lucy groaned.

"But probably entertaining!" Lisanna said cheerfully.

Only moments later, Mirajane came back holding three cats, and covered in claw marks.

"Mira, where did you get those?!" Dreamer squeaked.

"Which one do you think he'd like?"

The cats yowled in protest.

"Doesn't that one have a collar?" Lucy pointed at an orange cat that was desperately clawing at Mira's arm.

"Wait, that's our neighbor's cat, Mirajane!"

She placed all three cats on Macbeth's lap. "Pick one, Macbeth!" The cats purred, two of them nestling into his lap while the orange one climbed on top of his head and curled up to sleep.

ZzzzZzzzz

"I'M BACK!" The door was kicked open and Gajeel came in with a wiggling garbage bag. He dumped a bound up exceed onto the table in between the girls.

"Release me at once!" The exceed yowled. "The Zentopian Guard will hear of this, I assure you!"

"You want this guy to be your master?" Gajeel dangled the gray, glasses-wearing Exceed in front of Macbeth.

"Absolutely not! Now let me go!"

One of the first three cats jumped up and batted at the rope holding the exceed, which snapped, enabling him to fly away in a huff.

"Mom, Mom, what about this one?" Syllest ran up and put a guinea pig on Macbeth's leg.

"Syllest, when did you get in on this?! That's not even a cat!"

"Yes it is!" She snapped. "It just has dwarfism!"

The guinea pig crawled up Macbeth's sleeve. A pink cat smacked at it with its paws. A dappled cat played with his dream-catcher necklace.

"You guys, stop!" Dreamer frantically tried to collect the animals, but when she grabbed one, another would get away. "He's going to be so mad when he wakes up!"

"I can help!" Lisanna transformed into some kind of sexy leopard-thing and began to rub against Macbeth, granting her a harsh tug by the hair from Dreamer.

"That is NOT helping." Her eyes shot daggers at Mirajane's sister.

"Be careful Lisanna, they're dating," Mirajane said.

"Oh, you guys are dating now?" Lucy asked.

Cats meowed, a guinea pig chirped.

"WE ARE NOT DATING."

ZzzzZzzz mumble mumble

"Ooh, Lisanna! You gave me the best idea!" Mirajane jumped up and down in excitement. "Lucy, can you bring out Virgo?"

"Uh, sure, I guess." Lucy lifted a key. "Open! Gate of the Maiden: Virgo!"

In a puff of smoke, the pink haired spirit showed up and knelt before her master. "Would you like to punish me, Princess?"

"What?! No! I—"

Mirajane snatched Virgo by the wrist and whispered in her ear, ocean-eyes gleaming deviously.

Dreamer was still desperately trying to remove the animals from Macbeth's person without waking him. Currently, a cat was batting at his magenta beads while the guinea pig was nibbling on his pocket—from inside it.

Without warning, hands grabbed onto Dreamer's arms and she was pulled backward. In a span of only seconds, Virgo had completely re-dressed her.

~Wooooow~

Sparkles shimmered in the air around her. She was now dressed in a skimpy cat costume, complete with black ears, a black tail that protruded from under a too-short skirt, and fluffy boots.

"WHAT THE—"

"Heh, heh." Gajeel patted her between the ears. "I shoulda thought of this one, Mira. What would make a better pussy-cat for Macbeth than his sweet Dream?"

Her cheeks went bright pink and she swatted his hand away.

"You look so cute, Dreamer!" Mirajane clasped her hands together.

"Glad I could be of assistance," Virgo bowed.

"GIVE ME BACK MY REAL CLOTHES!" She demanded, but Virgo had already poofed away. She glanced back at Macbeth, hoping and praying he hadn't woken up. Thank god, he was still fast asleep, despite the Guinea pig swinging on his braid.

"Wait! The best part!" Mira clasped a red collar around her neck, with a jangling bell and jewel studded nametag.

"What in the…" Dreamer lifted the tag so she could read it. "What the heck is 'Middream?'"

"It's your ship name, silly!"

Her blush could not have gotten any deeper. "Mira, so help me, Mavis, I will use my magic on you when you're asleep and make you dream about dead dogs for the next three weeks!"

"No you won't," her friend giggled confidently.

Dreamer was in the middle of undoing the collar when another voice echoed loudly through the hall.

"MIRAJANE STRAUSS."

Everyone froze.

Erza Scarlet was standing on the stage with a red pulse mark above her head, the air around her black with evil energy.

"Uh oh…" Mira didn't stop smiling, but she took a step back.

"Is it true you've been making ridiculous ships of me and spreading them around the guild?"

"Sounds like Mira," Lucy whispered.

"Yep, sounds about right," Dreamer agreed.

"Oh, big sis."

"Grayza?" Erza took a furious step forward. Juvia started to weep in the crowd. "Natza?" Natsu fell from the rafters. "Midza?"

Dreamer punched Mira in the shoulder. "Really?!"

"Even Erzlow?"

Bixlow catcalled in the crowd and narrowly dodged a chair to the face.

Erza requipped into her Heaven's Wheel armor. "You will pay the consequences of this sin, She-Devil!"

"Only if you can catch me!" Mira transformed into a demon and flew through the roof, scattering debris everywhere and being closely followed by an infuriated redhead.

Crickets chirped.

Macbeth snored.

"Well, I think I'm done with lunch!" Lisanna ran.

"Yeah, I don't want to be around when they come back," Lucy said before grabbing Natsu by the ear and taking off, herself.

"Hey! What about all these animals?!" Dreamer called after them. Gajeel was still standing next to her. "Help me out, please?"

"Nah, come on Lily." He waved and started to walk away.

"Gajeel!" She whined.

"I caught Beth a kitty cat. My job today is done."

She flushed and looked back down at her scanty clothes.

"I hate you all…" She grumbled and started to untangle the animals from Macbeth's hair.

"I'll take them, Mommy!" Syllest and Romeo came with a wagon.

"Thank you, sweetie. You're the best."

"Well duh!" They carted the cats and guinea pig away. She could have sworn she overheard a whisper about setting them loose in Kardia Cathedral during church hours, but she pretended not to hear that part.

She sat with a breath of exhaustion on the ground in front of Macbeth. She could hardly believe he'd slept through all of that. She couldn't help but giggle as she reached up and brushed dust from the broken ceiling off of his head.

"I don't know why they're so obsessed with finding you a cat anyway," she giggled quietly. "You're the one who acts like a kitten."

She recalled a time when Syllestra said the same thing, followed by the insinuation that Dreamer should "pet him and find out" if he purrs. She blushed again at the memory.

Still, it was true. He did remind her of a cat. In fact… She smirked mischievously and took the cat-ear headband off her head to place it on his.

"Hee hee, perfect match." She flicked one of the ears, thoroughly amused with herself. It took a few moments before she realized…

His eyes were open.

"GAH!" She jumped back when she caught him staring at her. "M-Macbeth! I didn't know you woke up!"

He blinked groggily and rubbed his eyes, like he was checking to see if he was looking at her right. Red eyes drifted up and down her body, lingering on her overly-exposed chest.

She threw her arms over her chest and laughed nervously. "I, uh, this isn't what it looks like!" What did it look like? "You see, you were asleep and Gajeel really wanted to show you his new cat but he couldn't get you to wake up so Mira came up with this crazy idea that it was because you were depressed because you don't have your own cat so then they got you a bunch of cats and it was crazy and they were crawling all over the place and then they thought it would be funny to dress ME up as a cat so they did but—" On and on she rambled, just like Syllest would have done. It was clear where the child got that habit from…

Macbeth just continued to stare. He reached up and felt one of his cat ears.

"Ah! That's! Well, you were still asleep, and I thought…" She caught her breath. "I think you make a better cat than I do." She averted her eyes.

He rubbed the cat ear with his thumb and forefinger.

"I see."

Now it was her turn to stare. I see? I see?! What does that even mean? Is it a good thing? A bad thing? Is he angry? Does he like my outfit?

"I-I'll just take that back…" She reached for the headband. He snatched her wrist and tugged her closer to him. Her breath caught in her throat. She met his eyes and could see that he was still only half-awake. There was a hint of deviousness in them, sure, but for the most part, he just looked tired.

"You look stupid," he said quietly, eyes scanning over her once more.

"Great, thanks for those words of encouragement."

"So I remind you of a cat, do I?" He asked, cocking his head lightly to the side.

She nodded, still stinging from the 'stupid' comment.

"Do you like cats, Dream?" Now his voice was a low whisper and he was leaning closer to her. She swallowed, body catching fire internally.

"I-I mean… I'm more of a cat person than a dog person, if that's what you're asking…"

"Mm." Without warning, he stretched out on her lap.

"H-Hey!" Her voice was a high whine.

He looked totally at ease, looking up at her with his head in her lap. He smirked and pawed at the bell on her collar, which she'd totally forgotten she was wearing.

"Stupid," he repeated. Then, he turned his head and nuzzled against her stomach, closing his eyes again.

"M-Macbeth, get up," she whined. "This is embarrassing."

"Sh, I'm trying to sleep," he groaned in complaint.

"Not on my lap, you're not!"

He grabbed her hand and guided it to his hair. "Pet me," came the command.

If her heart could beat any faster, it would have thumped right out of her chest.

"No way, I'm not…"

He gave a whining groan against the skin of her stomach, which, for the tiniest of moments, sounded just like a purr.

"This is insane. And degrading. And embarrassing."

And he is so, seriously cute right now.

She cleared her throat awkwardly and began to stroke his hair, which was surprisingly soft for as thick and coarse it looked.

He was asleep instantly, which of course meant that she would be stuck there for who knows how long, an ex-dark wizard strewn across her lap, still wearing kitty-cat ears.

Gray walked by and stopped in his tracks at the sight of them sitting on the ground like this. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Not. One. Word."

He gestured that he was zipping his lips before walking away with a chuckle.

Everyone needs a kitty cat, huh?

She sighed, closed her eyes, and continued to stroke his hair.

A/N: There. Some silliness! I would just like to say that the Dreamer x Mystogan thing is 100% crack ship gag with no seriousness to it whatsoever. I had decided a long time ago that Dreamer would have charmed him at some point to get sleeping pills, and I ended up running with it as a joke. xD

Anyway, I wanted to give you guys something to break up the tension, because it's right back into the muck from here.