Heya Readers!

Sorry about the late upload, the block bit me in the butt and I wondered how to write this scene, I had to listen to a few songs to get in the mood!

Last place we left off, Casey had been attacked by Cobra when in a mission with the disguised Monalisa and was in hospital. It turned out he would be alright, but everyone was indeed worried about their friend.

When comforting each other, Leonardo and Mona kissed but both were embarrassed about it and Leonardo left Mona's room guilt ridden.

Now are they coping with this? Well, read below to find out!

Note: Elements in this story from from my TMNT fics 'Fury Within Her' and 'A Warrior's Journey' so make sure you read them before you read this chapter.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Confusion

In his room, Leonardo paced up and down, so many thoughts running through his head. His lips were still tingling from the kiss, he felt so hot and flustered as he tried to process what happened.

"I kissed her..." he thought to himself "Oh God I kissed her!"

He ran his hands over his head and tore off his blue mask as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

His mask fluttered to the floor where it lay forgotten as Leonardo tried to clear his head and think about what happened.

"You stupid idiot!" he cried "Why did you do it? You kissed Mona!"

He paced around the room a few times, he started to get dizzy walking around until he finally stopped and clawed his fingers down his face in stress.

After a while, Leonardo walked over to the mirror and looked into it, glaring at his reflection.

He was sweating and his face was flushed and he had marks down his face from where his fingers had scratched the sides of his face.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" he cursed at his reflection "She's your sister for fucks sake!"

"No she's not!" a little voice in his head shouted "She's not your blood sister anyway, she was adopted! You and your family welcomed her into the family after finding her lost and alone in New York."

Leonardo looked away from the mirror as all these thoughts flew at him almost like several foot ninja ambushing him.

"I was comforting her..." he said to himself "I was comforting her, she let me hold her, let me touch her since Raphael's death...I thought we had repaired our relationship, after she admitted she was wrong for the way she was treating me...she no longer resents me...I thought everything was going to be ok...until this happened!"

He ran his fingers over his lips again.

"Until...that kiss...oh God..." he walked over to his bed and sat down.

"That kiss..." the more he thought about it, the more he thought about how he enjoyed it, those soft lips, he closed his eyes as he remembered how years ago he had longed to kiss those lips, but his younger brother had dominated them.

He had indeed felt her lips, it was over two years ago, when he had been stabbed in a battle with the Foot Ninja, he had almost died from the injury, but Mona had used some healing serum Dr Arden had made from her DNA and sealed his wound, then breathed life back into him.

She was an angel to him that day, and her lips had given him the kiss of life.

But this kiss, it was different, it was one he had always desired.

"My feelings towards Mona..." he said to himself "They...they never really went away, even after I accepted that she had chosen Raphael as her mate."

He rolled onto his side and he saw a picture of him, Raphael and Mona at the farmhouse.

He was on the left and Raphael was on the right and Mona was between them with her arms over their shoulders smiling.

Leonardo had remembered that picture, it was summer and they had retreated for a holiday at the farmhouse and Michelangelo was taking pictures.

Leonardo then thought back to when he and Mona spent time together, whether it was before or after she got together with Raphael.

He remembered the times they would spar together, katanas verses warfans or sometimes practising hand to hand combat.

Sometimes during sparring Mona would trip him with her tail and she would leap onto his chest and pin him down declaring herself the winner. It always made Leonardo blush when he remembered that happening, he loved feeling her in his arms, seeing her bright blue eyes, her beautiful smile gracing her face as she laughed in triumph.

Leonardo felt a smile form on his face as he remembered, then he felt tears prickle his eyes as he thought of one incident where Mona had pinned him down after knocking him onto his shell and she jumped onto his plastron and lay over him pinning his wrists down with her hands laughing then Splinter declared her the winner.

He then remembered Raphael giving him a playful fists up at him telling him to stay away from his girl.

Though the two brothers had gone through such hard times after Mona had chosen Raphael as her mate, but they soon saw the past as something to laugh about. Leonardo even remembered Raphael's words before he died

'No old feelings returning eh bro?'

Back then, Leonardo didn't, well that wasn't a lie, and it wasn't exactly the truth either. Sure he had, had feelings of love towards Mona, but he always passed them over as sibling love.

Laying back onto his bed, Leonardo thought back to when Mona had first arrived back at the lair, and he and Raphael had both fallen for her after getting to know her, both had found her attractive and had desires to be her mate.

Leonardo remembered the day he had tried to court Mona at Coney Island beach, he had taken her there on a night out and they had swam together, it had been an amazing experience.

They had flown through the water together, chasing each other, swimming around each other in-between the sunbeams.

Then they had seen fireworks from the beach that some teenagers had let off before heading home, and it was then Leonardo had felt the softness of Mona's lips on his cheek as she kissed him in gratitude for a great evening out.

He remembered the excitement he felt when Mona kissed him, and he believed he had won her, but she had said the words 'You're a real friend' and it had sent his world crashing down that his efforts to win her were in vain.

Leonardo then remembered when he decided to tell Mona how he really felt, he had made a bracelet out of pearls and pink lotus flowers as a symbol of his love for her and planned to give it to her by the lake under the moon and stars as he asked her to be his mate.

He had gone to find her, muttering to himself on how he was going to ask her, he had rehearsed and he believed her had found the right words, until he saw Mona and Raphael in the clearing in the woods near the farmhouse kissing passionately.

The pain had been unbearable as he had felt the pain of heartbreak and disappointment drive through him like a knife to the chest.

"I was so heartbroken..." he thought "All that time I resented the fact they were together, even though I tried to accept it, I just couldn't. All I kept thinking was that Mona should have been mine, through trials and challenges with my inner being, and after intense training with the Ancient One...I was able to overcome it...but deep down, my feelings for her never went away..."

Leonardo sat up again and ran his hands over his face as he felt himself starting to sweat.

"It's true..." he thought "My feelings for Mona never disappeared...Deep down...I still love her..."

He touched his lips again and wondered how he was going to carry on as normal after what happened.

Part of him wanted to return to Mona's room and apologise for what happened again and try and be civil, but he couldn't bring himself to leave the room and talk to her.

After a while of debating, Leonardo decided to wait until the next night after she and him had decided to sleep on it.

Laying back on his bed, Leonardo sighed and stared at the ceiling, he wasn't sure if he would get any tonight, after what happened.

Little did Leonardo know that Mona was having her own emotional battle back in the bedroom.

Since Leonardo had left the room, Mona hadn't moved from the bed and was staring at the wall, her lips tingling at the kiss Leonardo had laid upon her.

"Oh God..." she thought, "Why did I do it? I shouldn't have done it...Raph...I...I'm so sorry..." she looked at the photo of her and Raphael sitting on the sofa in April and Casey's apartment taken during a party they were holding for April's birthday.

"Raph..." she whispered "I'm so sorry...I shouldn't have done it...he's your brother! He's my brother...Why did I kiss him?"

As the word brother passed her lips, Mona suddenly had a thought.

"Brother...yes...but he's not my brother by blood...he adopted me into his family after they took me off the streets."

She thought again about the times Raphael and Leonardo had competed for her affections, but when Raphael had been the winner, she only just realised after the outburst from Leonardo at Raphael and after Leonardo had fled the lair and back to Japan to train with the Ancient One, that he (Leonardo) had feelings for her.

It had shaken her up knowing that both turtles were in love with her, and she felt it was her fault that she never realised Leonardo's affection for her, and she wished they had seen things through differently, even though things had worked out at the end.

Laying on the bed, Mona looked up at the ceiling as she tried to make sense of the whole situation.

She rubbed her lips as she wondered how she was going to approach Leonardo, she didn't feel anger any-more, but this time, she felt confused and worry.

"I know Leonardo loved me," she thought "He loved me and tried to court me as his mate...Could his feelings for me be resurfacing when he was comforting me?"

She rolled over onto her side and stared at the wall.

"How am I going to face him tomorrow?" she thought "I'm not sure if I can face him after what happened..."

She closed her eyes as she racked her brains to think.

"Oh God..." she thought "I feel so confused! I'm not going get any sleep tonight! Not after all this..."

Mona lay back on her back and stared at the ceiling as she tried to relax.

"It was a mistake..." she whispered "It was a mistake...this will never happen again!"

She ran her hands over her face many times as she tried to clear her mind.

"It was a mistake!" she whispered over and over "It was a mistake!"

Well! Looks like both reptilian mutants are confused and don't know what to do!

Will they be able to face each other? Will they overcome what happened or will they be tempted to come together?

Stay tuned for more drama coming soon!

Love Bloodrayne666