I threw Coulson back. "He is not!" I turned back to Ward. "Fight, you son of a bitch!" I slapped him hard across his face. "You've never given up, don't you dare give up now!" I hit his chest hard, tears streaming down my face. "Fight, damn you! Fight!" I screamed, sobs raking me as I lay my head on his chest.

His eyes opened wide as he gasped in a huge gulp of air, coughing violently.

I sat up, my own eyes wide. "Grant!" I turned him slightly on his side as he coughed up blacked gunk from his lungs.

He groaned. "What happened?"

I turned to the others with a triumphant smile. "Told you." My eyes fell towards Holtz. She had a large piece of wood sticking out of her chest, coughing up blood. I knew right away she was dying. I pulled myself up and went over to her. "I want you to look at me, Holtz." I waited till she did, her eyes frightened. "Good. Because I want you to see me. This will be the last thing you see. My triumph. You will never touch me or my son again. And your work will be destroyed."

She coughed more blood, but made a last grin. "My work will live on. In you."

My eyes narrowed as I watched her die, wondering exactly what the implied.

()

The paramedics and fire department were all around, tending to everyone. The building was completely destroyed. I sat on the edge of an ambulance, watching them work on Ward on a nearby stretcher. He had an oxygen mask on, removed every now and then as he hacked up more gunk. He'd had the worst of the inhalation. Everyone else was being treated for more minor injuries.

I stood, making it over to him and taking his hand. "Grant?"

He looked over at me, moving the mask to talk. "Who?"

I blinked. "It's me. Sita."

He shook his head. "Who am I?"

()

"Retrograde amnesia refers to inability to recall memories before onset of amnesia. Retrograde is usually caused by head trauma or brain damage to parts of the brain besides the hippocampus. People suffering from retrograde amnesia are more likely to remember general knowledge rather than specifics. Recent memories are less likely to be recovered, but older memories will be easier to recall due to strengthening over time."

I sat quietly in Ward's hospital room as the doctor continued.

"Retrograde amnesia is usually temporary and can be treated by exposing them to memories from the loss." He motioned to Ward. "This could clear up at any time."

"Or not," I countered.

The doctor nodded. "We'll just have to wait. I'll give you some time alone." He exited, leaving me with Ward.

He looked over to me. "This could be temporary," he repeated.

I swallowed. "Is there anything you can recall at all?"

He shook his head. "No. But you seem familiar."

I moved my chair to the side of his bed. "I sure hope so. I'm your girlfriend."

He took my hand. "Lucky me." He grinned.

I couldn't help but smile. "Grant…"

"Grant," he repeated as if trying to place it. "I don't feel like a 'Grant.'"

I kissed his hand. "You are. You're Grant Ward. You're a field agent for an organization called the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division."

He furrowed his brow. "Long name."

I smiled. "We just say SHIELD."

"Are you an agent, too?"

"No, I'm a consultant. That's how we met." I took a deep breath. "I think that we should just head back to mobile command. Some things will be easier to show than tell."

()

Ward's eyes were wide as we approached the bus. "Fancy." As we came up the ramp, he reached out to the Corvette.

"Don't touch Lola," Coulson warned, coming to meet us.

Ward stopped. "Sorry, sir." He blinked. "Sir. You're my superior."

Coulson nodded. "Yes. Agent Coulson. I'm in charge of our team." He glanced to me. "Tristan won't settle. I think he's missing you."

I took a deep breath. "Right. Okay." I motioned to Ward. "This way." I hadn't told him he was a father, yet. One more thing I hoped could jog his memory.

Simmons was bouncing my son in her arms as he cried, a look of worry on her face as we approached. "He won't stop crying," she whimpered.

I smiled and opened my arms. "Here." She placed him in my embrace and he immediately started to calm. "There we go…"

Ward was frozen. "You have a son."

I nodded. "We have a son. Tristan." I kissed the top of his tiny baby head. "He's about three weeks old." I looked to Ward's eyes. "Would you like to hold him?"

He was unsure, shifting from one foot to the other. "I…"

"It's okay. You don't have to right now. Let me go feed him and put him down. Until then, maybe you'd like to talk with Coulson, get caught up."

He nodded. "That's a good idea."

()

Simmons popped a chocolate in her mouth, painting my toes in my bunk. "I'm sure he'll get his memory back. He's strong. And I'm looking into neuro receptors."

I nodded, watching her paint. "Yeah. I'm still wondering how he's going to take all the crazy crap we deal with on a day-to-day basis."

The door to the bunk opened, Ward poking his head in. "Oh! Sorry, they said this was my bunk."

I nodded. "It is. We share it."

Simmons capped the nail polish. "I should be off to my own bunk." Quickly, she made herself scarce.

I stood, swallowing. "So, you talked to Coulson?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Got the gist of what I do here." He motioned. "You don't have to get up."

I sat back down. "Do you have any questions for me?"

"You said we met through SHIELD." He sat next to me. "How did that happen?"

I grinned. "I came on to you like white on rice. Then the first time I almost died, you came to my room and we… you know…" I felt my face getting warm. Damn.

He smiled. "I know, huh? The guy with amnesia?"

I chuckled. "Right. Uh, we… had marshmallows."

He laughed. "Is that what they call sex nowadays?" Hearing him say the word "sex" reminded me that we hadn't been together since I found out I was pregnant.

My body warmed. "It's a fluffy subject." I cleared my throat. "Anyway, we fought, broke up, we got back together, we had Tristan, and now we're here."

"We're here," he echoed, his eyes gazing into mine. "And I know you. Inside." He took my hand and put it over his heart. "Here."

My eyes welled up with tears. "I thought you died."

He pulled me into his arms. "I'm sorry."

I started sobbing. "I know you don't remember, but this is the second time you almost died on me. And it still hurts so badly."

He rubbed my back. "I want to make you feel better." He tilted my head up and kissed me softly. "Let me make you feel better." He kissed me again. It was like our first kiss. For him, it really was. He knew we'd been together but the acts we did were lost to him.

I poured my heart into the kiss, trying to rekindle his memories with love. He curled his fingers into my hair, laying me back on our bed. For some reason, I felt shy. This was his first time, again, seeing me as his lover. I trembled under his touches. He was exploring me like a new delicate flower. I closed my eyes and held still, letting him trace the curves of my body gently, sending goose bumps all over my flesh.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered. "And I want you." He kissed my neck.

I whimpered. "I'm yours."

He kissed my lips ever so softly. "You're his. Grant's. And until I remember more…" He sat up, taking a deep breathe. "I think we should take it slow."

I opened my eyes. "What?"

"I feel like I don't want to disrespect you. And I want to get to know you again." He let out his breath in a whoosh. "Although I have to admit, it's hard not to just stake claim right now." He stood. "I'm going to take a shower."

"I'm going to dress in full on pajamas," I muttered as he left. Honorable Grant Ward. The thought both frustrated me and warmed my heart that he still felt respect for me without his memory. But man, it was going to be so hard to sleep beside him knowing he wanted to wait. Sighing, I changed and crawled into bed, trying to fall asleep before he came back.

I felt him get into bed. The mattress shifted under his weight and warmth seeped from him into my skin. He put his arm over me, something that he always had done. Muscle memory. I smiled and hugged his arm to me. No matter the memories, no matter the trauma, he knew me in his heart.

()

I woke when I felt Ward jerk beside me. Turning, I found him still asleep, his face tight with worry. "No," he whispered, starting to thrash. "No…"

I propped up on my arm and smoothed his hair back with my other hand. "It's okay, baby. I'm here."

He struggled some before his eyes popped open with a gasp. He sat up straight. "No!"

I sat up with him. "Grant, I'm right here. It's okay." I went to put my hand on his arm.

He jerked. "No. Don't." He took several breaths. "Don't touch me for a sec."

I swallowed. He'd never had a nightmare around me before. I was used to the calm man who slept like the dead. Now, with his brain sorting things out, he was being tortured by memories he didn't understand. "You wanna talk?"

He closed his eyes, silent for a while then spoke. "I'm okay. It was just a dream."

"It could have been a memory. You should talk to me about it."

He composed himself, some of his SHIELD training kicking in. He was shoving back his emotions. "I said I'm okay."

I pressed my lips together. "Fine." Tossing the covers back, I got up. "I have to check on Tristan." It was an excuse, I knew it. He knew it. But it kept us from the awkward silence that was starting to permeate the room. Some habits were hard to break, even without your memory. He was an Agent. He was trained to push aside anything personal and get the job done. And all the years of doing so had engrained that into his very being.

Tristan was still asleep so instead, I went to the kitchen to make some tea. I popped a SHIELD logo mug filled with water into the microwave. Thanks to having a British chick on board, we had a wonderful selection of tea. I chose a sleepy time blend, hoping that maybe it would help put me back to sleep.

"I'm sorry."

I squeaked and spun around, knocking tea packets all over. "Grant!" I held a hand to my chest. "Why couldn't scaring the pee out of me be something you forgot?"

He grinned and knelt down, picking up the packets. "Sorry for that, too, then."

I sighed and bent to help. "It's okay. And it's okay about what happened in there, too. I know none of this can be easy for you right now." I stood with the collected packets, putting them away.

He handed me the ones he'd collected. "Yeah. To say the least."

I gave him a reassuring kiss. "Don't worry. You're back with your team. You're back with your family. And if anything can jog your memory, it'll be us."