Izaya was reconciled to doing the commercial but when he arrived at the studio there was a surprise waiting for him.
"What the…"
Kasuka shuffled over with difficulty due to the fact that he was wearing a whitish tubular suit of sorts that ended in a soft tip right above his head.
"Condom costume."
"You have got to be kidding me!"
"No. Condom costume dance routine for commercial."
Some member of the staff handed Izaya a matching suit. It felt rubbery.
"I have to put this on…?"
"Yes. Then dance."
"Who on Earth came up with this idea?"
"The director."
"And what kind of message is this supposed to convey?"
"Funny commercial. Makes people happy."
"Oh dearie. Why me."
Putting on the suit was not easy. Izaya had to squirm her body into it since the entire thing was one single piece. Walking was even more dififcult so she could not even begin to see how they were supposed to dance.
It turned out that the dance comprised only a few shuffling coordinated steps but even that proved a challenge since Izaya kept either falling or getting out of synch. Her annoyance escalated since Kadota performed each step flawlessly and even delivered the dreadfully cheesy lines without a hint of awkwardness. In the end they both chanted in unison,
"Yagiri condoms: always keeping you safe!"
Izaya was almost sick by the time the final cut rolled by. Her body ached from falling ungraciously, her ego ached just as much. Then came having to extricate herself from the condom shaped contraption.
"Haven't these people heard of zippers?"
"Looks more realistic this way."
Izaya wrinkled her nose to show her distaste for the whole thing. She settled in a quiet backstage area and called Kida who was parked just outside the studio.
"My feet hurt, give me a foot massage."
"Eh…"
"Don't 'eh' me and get to it, on the double."
Kida sighed, Izaya as a woman was perhaps even more tyrannical. That plush the mood swings were more than Kida knew how to handle. To make matters worse, there was the extra awkwardness of dealing with a hot chick who just so happened to be his boss. Life was difficult for Kida Masaomi. But presently it was made easier by Kasuka's intervention.
"I can do foot massages. Took a course."
Izaya was not fully convinced.
"Did you now."
"Yes."
Kasuka actually knelt on one knee and proceeded to deliver a most smooth foot massage. Izaya relaxed and sighed happily.
"I don't see why you have to wear those crazy heels, no wonder your feet hurt…"
"Didn't ask you to speak, Masaomi."
"Not a good servant."
"You got that right, it's so difficult finding decent servants nowadays."
And of course on top of everything else Izaya did not cut on the verbal abuse.
"True."
"Gee, since I'm such a horrible 'servant' can I do now- wait, what is that…?"
Kida spotted the suit in a corner. Kasuka picked it up.
"Condom suit."
Kida burst into laughter.
"Oh my god, ouch! That hurt!"
Izaya reached for one of the famous pumps and kicked Kida in the shins.
"You don't get to make fun of me. Honestly, you should know this already. Granted, the condom suit is a horrible idea. It completely hides my gorgeous body!"
"Condom mascot."
"Horrible through and through, I say!"
"Kanra, doesn't need to show off body. Beautiful face is enough."
Izaya shivered.
"Great, now you're sounding like creepy Seiji."
Kida rubbed his injured shins and looked miserable.
"This is abuse, you know! And I'm a minor, the least you can do is not kick me!"
Kasuka turned his expressionless eyes to Kida.
"Kida Masaomi-kun, bitches more, I call police. Go, 'Help! The leader of the Yellow Scarves is attacking me and Kanra!', Juvi with you."
Kida's jaw came unhinged.
"How do you know that- you're the devil too!"
"Isn't it interesting how he drops the monosyllabic style when he is acting? By the way, Kasuka, what do you think about ootoro flavored condoms?"
Kasuka thought that it sounded most dreadful. But that would not do as he could see that Kanra was sold on the idea.
"Great idea."
"See? I knew there was a market for it! I must push with committee that decides such things."
Maybe even with those shareholders that Namie so despised.
"Will help."