Bart
"You guys have too, there is no one else in this town we trust and is strong enough," Milhouse was begging the locals at the bar. It might seem stupid but Moe, Homer, Willie and Otto are better at solving crimes than Springfield's police force.
"But it sounds risky, we could die…." Moe truthfully states.
"Don't worry Moe, no one will miss you anyways," Says some random drunk at the end of the bar. Moe wears his usually ugly and grim expression.
"You have to they got Samantha and they are sure to come for Maggie soon since she has the sword," Milhouse continues to beg as the regulars of the bar stop to think. Me and Milhouse had taken the sword off Maggie and hidden it in Milhouse's dads place. They will still probably come for Maggie so we hid her at Allison's house.
"But we got hardly any money left, I'm even almost out of beer, as these guys are nearly out of money they keep in the house," Moe's words caused groans of annoyance from all over the bar. It's true that in order to fight these guys we will need some serious cash although we already have certain weapons we could use. Willie has a rake, Moe has a barb-wired 2x4 and a shot gun, Otto can smash their hideout with his school bus….. We don't even know where their hideout is…. We got rakes and wood while they probably got guns…. I am starting to reconsider if I want my father to be a part of this.
"Lets just do it for the kids," Caves the Scottish man as he stands up. Apparently he too has a tab at this bar along with my dad and Otto. Willie says goodbye before leaving to his car. We hear an engine roar and him drive off before the car's sound fades in with all the other cars.
"Fine, Fine I'll do it but there better be a reward for doing this crap," Otto seems fairly drunk but he doesn't seem to stop drinking. I have no idea why most of these people are spending their family's last dollars on beer.
"Are you going to help too dad and Moe?" They look at each other kind of confused before they both nod. I and Milhouse decided to go back to my place and study up a little bit since we got finals next week. It my sound nerdy and all but it has to be done. As soon as we enter the house we see Lisa, Alex and Janey reading something.
"Milhouse it's a threat letter," I assumed if it was a threat letter for Milhouse then they would have sent it too Milhouse's home. I grab the letter and I see Milhouse's eyes starting to read it.
If you tell the cops about this letter or about our location than their will be trouble. If we see even one police car go across the street we will not hesitate to blow Samantha's brains the fuck out. Now Bart, Milhouse and whoever also wants to get involved in this, we have stolen your money, we were the ones that killed Krusty, we were the ones that assaulted Jessica and Tim. We want the sword back, you know what we are talking about, meet us next Friday at the old man's death trap mansion. Bring the sword and if you aren't there then we won't hesitate to kill Samantha.
"Old man's death trap?" I ask before looking at Milhouse who looked as pale as a ghost.
"Yeah, it's this mansion that is supposedly haunted by some old man that died their centuries ago, it's in Shelbyville," Lisa explains and I know she is no longer a sceptic about ghosts.
"Guess who!!" My vision is suddenly blinded by hands before I hear a sweet voice. I know exactly who it is and I turn around to see a blonde girl staring back at me.
"Uhhh Jessica…" I start before I tell her all about the latest news on the white knight. She seems shocked to hear Sideshow Bob and him have formed an alliance and decides to read the letter herself.
"Old man's death trap isn't haunted, that's just a rumour, I been there before," I try to think of a time when Jessica went to Shelbyville but I can't seem to find one. I guess it was one of the places she stopped by before returning to Springfield after she was dismissed from boarding school.
"Ah fuck it, you guys go tell Willie, Otto, Moe and leave Homer to me," I bark at them and immediately they disappear. I guess they got scared by my voice or something, I knew they won't go tell anyone about this especially when it's this late. Lisa and Milhouse are the only ones that stay.
"Calm down, Bart, you still get angry at times…"
"Oh shut up Lisa," I shout at her, I'm not in the mood for being nagged at. She is really starting to become like Mum except her hair is stupider, mainly because mum's hair is now just normal blue hair that hangs down near her lower back and not the bloody ceiling.
"Bart, I think I'm going to go, I feel too tired to do any study and what ever," Milhouse stutters out before running out of the door. I could see he knew I wasn't in a good mood. I deserve to be angry, I find out my hero was killed by my worst enemy because of me.
"Ah get off me," Someone was on top of me trying to wake me up, someone small for sure. When my eyes decided to open I see Maggie lying on top of me attempting to wake me up.
"What are you doing her Maggie?"
"Today's the day you have to go to the mansion with sword," I knew that perfectly well but I wanted to get some sleep, little sisters can be annoying and stupid. She gets off me before giving me a hug and I realise it isn't 12 pm like I thought it was.
"How could I sleep in till 6 pm? I…" I look sheepishly at the people in my room who were ready to go to Shelbyville. This was highly embarrassing for me as I get out of my bed and gesture them out of my room in order to get changed. Milhouse leaves the sword of vulgar supremacy in my bed room. It looks pretty cool, I wonder why they call it the sword of vulgar supremacy. I get dressed and I grab the sword and run out of my room.
"Alright lets go, Wait Maggie you can't come…." I say when she starts following us.
"You know, you guys can't come either," Homer points at me, Lisa and Milhouse.
"What?" Marge grabs the sword out of my hands and give it's too Homer.
Homer
"But mum," I hear Bart protest as I leave my house.
"It's too dangerous, Homer… be careful," She says before I step outside and wave goodbye to them and close the door. That might be the last time I close that door… But if it's not I can get wasted on beer.
"Okay we'll take your weapons, I'm sorry I got no more bullets left for my shot gun," I want to slash Moe with the sword I am holding. Willie takes his rake, an old favourite of his while Moe takes his own 2x4 wrapped in barb wire. Otto seems to have taken a guitar….
"You are going to beat up bad guys with a guitar?"
"I don't see why not, guitar's can be used as weapon, remember when Kurt Cobain smashed a bouncer with a guitar and made him bleed," Who could forget that? Kurt Cobain was a hero among men, everyone agrees on that… and if they don't then I'll kill them.
"Fine, the sword's mine," We had told one more person too pick up before we go to Shelbyville.
"Oh Glavin," Says the last person before taking a seat on Otto's bus. We drive off towards Shelbyville.
"Does he expect we just hand this sword over to him?" I ask observing the lion handled sharp sword that looks really, really expensive.
"I suppose so; I guess we have to try to save Samantha" Says the intelligent professor that was informed about what was happening about a couple of days ago. He automatically jumped up at the chance to be a "hero" again.
About an hour later we approach the mansion and see that it's heavily guarded by around 150 criminals, the ones that probably escaped from the prison when it was destroyed.
"That was their big plan? Scare us with prisoners," I laugh at their stupidity.
"Grab on to something dudes," Otto violently runs down all the prisoners with his bus, instantly killing many of them.
"Metallica!!" Screams the bus driver as he rampages his way through all of the prisoners and smashes his bus into the mansion.
"Now that's what I call an entrance," says Otto although the rest of us are trembling in fear over what he just did.
"What the deuce?" Says Sideshow Bob as he realises there was a large commotion happening outside his mansion.
"Oh it's just you guys, bring the sword?" He doesn't seem to care that all of his former allies are dead. We enter the mansion and try to ignore the fact Otto smashed a school bus into the wall.
"Well hand over the sword," Commands Sideshow Bob as his goons appear almost out of no where. The white knight, Principal Skinner, Nelson, Jimbo, Snake and Martin all appear to out number us. The white knight brings the girl with him.
"I said hand over the sword, or she dies," Sideshow bob pulls out a gun and the gagged Samantha's tries to scream for her life.
"Dude shoot the girl, woah I see pretty colours," Otto joins us with a bud in his hand, he is obviously doing marijuana. Couldn't he share his drugs with his friend Homer?
"Meh do what you want with the girl, but no one hurts my family and gets away with it," I charge towards the group with the sword and the automatically run in fear.
"You had your warning," Says Sideshow Bob before shooting his gun and instantly blowing Samantha's brains out. There was blood dripping from the left side of his head while the bullet and a portion of her brain had hit the wall. Her blood was falling all over the carpet, luckily the carpet is red.
Suddenly we hear the sound of a car pull up and I turn to see my purple sedan. Bart, Milhouse and Lisa suddenly appear out of no where.
"Oh that's just great, you stole my car and in order to die?"
"We don't want you to get hurt dad, we came here to help you,"
"Well if you're alive at the end of the day, you're grounded!!!"
"Do'h" My children screamed in unison.
A/N: This isn't the end of a chapter; it's just a break from Homer's POV. It turns more or less into a non-slash story for the rest of this chapter. I suck at non-slash or so I assume.
Milhouse looked around the room and turned a pale colour when he saw his girlfriend's decaying corpse lying on the ground. He robotically ran up to her but was stopped by Nelson. Nelson threw a punch at Milhouse's stomach causing him to drop to his knees. Milhouse knew that Nelson was strong but decided to fight back for once in his life. He threw a punch back at Nelson but he dodged. Nelson threw another punch at Milhouse. Milhouse feel to the ground and Nelson dragged him up the stairs.
Willie took swung his rake towards his former boss, Principal Skinner. He dodged so Willie decided to throw a few more. Principal Skinner dodged all of them and led Willie into a room that resembled his old shack before picking up a rake of his own and swinging it at the former grounds keeper.
The white knight had another sword, a plain sword that was extra sharp. It didn't possess any special powers like the sword of vulgar supremacy but it was still a very powerful sword. He swung the blade at his opponent, Homer, the man who was currently holding his precious weapon. The fat, bald man quickly blocked the sword with his own sword, a sword that had powers he didn't know how to use.
"It's good to see you again, Otto, old buddy," Said the twisted Snake before swinging a knife at his former prison inmate Otto. The former school bus driver quickly dodged the knife before counter-attacking Snake with a swing of his guitar. Snake promptly dodged but realised his knife wasn't going to do much damage to the guitar Otto was swinging. Snake searched the room for an object that could possibly be used to fight back a guitar swing manic while he dodged the guitar, on numerous occasions he was close to getting harmed. He finally saw in the other room a rival guitar, although it was only Martin's acoustic guitar, it was still a weapon he could use.
The humble bartender was swinging his 2x4 covered in barb wire at the teenager named Jimbo. Jimbo knew well that there was a baseball bat covered in barb wire in one of the 2nd floor rooms. Jimbo evaded the manic and his dangerous weapon and made his way up to the room. As he grabbed the baseball bat, he was hit by Moe. Jimbo was close to tears as the bartender withdrew his weapon and pulled flesh off his shoulder when doing so. Jimbo in extreme pain grabbed the baseball bat and with the hand opposite his shoulder and swung at the bartender.
"So it's come down to this Lisa?" Martin questioned his former adversary. He led Lisa down into his lab.
"You won't get away with this Martin, why did you ruin your future? You could have been the youngest ever mayor in the world," Lisa screamed as she entered the lab and stared at her rival.
Martin didn't seem interested in answering questions from Lisa. He shuffled through his papers in order to find two tests.
"Here, Standardise Tests at a genius level. We both take them, even professor Frink would have difficult answering this test," The boy genius exclaimed causing Lisa too look confused.
"You want to do a test?"
"Yes and the loser will automatically be gassed with sleeping gas," Lisa looked confused but she took the paper and suddenly a giant glass container came down on her and Martin. A desk appeared in front of them and they sat down before they were instructed by a computer.
You have 45 minutes, you may begin.
Professor Frink's metal detector was running wild. It was normal for it too do so but what shocked him was the amount of lithium, radium and iron hydroxides it showed. He followed the signal to find himself in a room with gigantic robots that grabbed his metal detector and smashed it. One of the robots locked the door and soon the professor was surrounded by robots, he pulled out his laser gun though he doubted it would do him any good.
"Ah Bart, Looks like it's just me and you," The sinister master mind was laughing towards his greatest enemy, a 16 year old boy who had made his life a living hell over the past 6 years. Bart knew that sideshow Bob was quiet a powerful man now, physical and mentally, a year or two in prison caused him to have absolute boredom till he started lifting weights.
"Well then Bob? How do you want to do this?" Bart asked as he cracked his knuckles ready for a physical fight.
"Ah Bart, violence won't be need for this," He pulls out the gun he had shot Samantha with. Bart had nearly forgotten about that and what's worst is that Bart doesn't have a weapon that could be used to fight back. All he brought was a slingshot, which was accidental since it was somehow in the pants he decided to wear.
"How could you do it?" Milhouse screamed at Nelson. Milhouse and Nelson weren't exactly the best of friends, they had a long history of fights and every one of them had Nelson succeeding mainly due to his physical strength.
"I didn't do it, it was Bob," Milhouse was filled with a rage he had never felt before; in the past few months his girlfriend had been everything to him. Milhouse hated Nelson mainly cause Nelson had bullied him all of his life but this went far beyond anything he had done to him before.
"How could you work for such a man?" Milhouse's raged was unleashed when went flying at Nelson and for the first time in his life he succeeded in hurting Nelson.
"I'm sorry I didn't want your girlfriend to get killed," Said the former bully as he got up and kicked Milhouse painfully in the crotch.
Homer's fatigue was getting to him as he struggled to keep up with the speedy knight. The knight had been training for nearly 800 years and it had shown because he was only toying with the fat man. Homer on the other hand was trying his hardest to defeat the white knight once and for all.
"Homer, why do you even try?" Said Sir Hemmingway after Homer finally ran out of breath and had to take a time out. Luke Hemmingway was finding the duel quite fascinating, so fascinating that he allowed the fat man to regain his breath.
"I must do it, you won't be hurting my family," Luke Hemmingway never intended to hurt the Simpsons. He just wished to have back what was his and complete the Riddle's quest.
"I never intended to hurt anyone Homer, all I wanted was the sword that belonged to me," Homer was smarter than he looked (at times). He had been doing some research on the white knight which isn't a normal thing for him to do. Apparently the white knight was in the middle of finishing a quest known as the Riddle's quest. The quest was too drain the blood of every royal family and head family member in Springfield and Sir Hemmingway was pretty close to achieving this goal. The blood of children was sometimes taken but the father was usually killed as well. The last family however had a member who was able to stop this. The information on the last family was very difficult to find but Homer knew that one guy had finished off the white knight with the sword of vulgar supremacy. Apparently the sword of vulgar supremacy can be used to summon some sort of 3 headed beast capable of breathing fire. The sword it self had the power to erase souls but when the white knight was cut with the sword, the guy and the white knight were imprisoned into the sword. "Maximus Dominay," Suddenly the white knight was in control as he conjured up electricity and struck Homer with it. Homer wasn't dead but he knew exactly what to do know. The words that must be chanted in order to summon the 3 headed dog was just said. "Maximus Dominay," Screamed Homer as his body was ached in pain. The white knight laughed as the sword shuns a bright light before a 3 headed dog was visible. The dog looked like a regular 14ft black dog excepted it had 3 heads. "You fool, Dominay only obeys me," The dog lifted its paw and swung it at Homer, causing the fat man too go flying into the wall. His body was in extreme pain but his grip on the sword did not loosen.
Time's up
The un-human voice says as a robot hand comes out of the ceiling in order to collect the exam papers. Lisa never though a test could possibly be so difficult her life and Martin feels the same way.
Test Analysis Complete
Martin: 51
Lisa: ...
Both Moe and Jimbo are in extreme pain, their limbs hurt and scars will soon form on the wounds that have been inflicted. Moe can feel the life inside him slowly drifting away and he strikes a final blow before collapsing due to exhaustion, pain and possibly death. Jimbo watches Moe fall as he joins him and has no control over what his body does. Jimbo's head had been busted open by Moe's final shot causing more blood to fill the stream of blood already present.
Professor Frink kept shooting at the robots although he knew it would do them little harm. The metal chest of one of the robots is cracked after around 20 shots and Frink can see money hidden with in of the robots. There was hundreds and hundreds of hundred dollar bills within these robots. As Professor Frink continues shooting he is overpowered as one of the robots grabs his laser gun and destroyed it.
"Oh glavin, not glavin, my first ever laser gun," Screamed the professor once his laser gun, glavin, was smashed to pieces. Professor Frink can't help but feel defeated as the robots take turns in punch him.
"Yew was alweys a bewk worm skinner!!" The Scottish man screamed as he attacked his former boss. They had once shared a long and happy friendship but Willie was fired by Skinner. Willie became angry and felt betrayed by the man who he had worked so long with and could call his best friend.
"Why yee do it eh?" Skinner hadn't told Willie the reason he was fired from Springfield Elementary school.
"You know why, your annoying and self-centred," Skinner said as he struck Willie with his rake which caused the Scott's beard to go even redder. The rake had ripped flesh off Willie's forehead and revealed his skull. The Scot was known for his toughness and this seemed to affect him only a little bit as he attacked Skinner in the same way. Skinner however didn't take the attack as well and fainted at the slight of his own blood.
Homer was terrified but he wasn't willing to back down. He was about to fight a 3 head fire breathing dog and his body was tender from the beating he had already endured.
"Give up old chap, no way you can beat a 14ft dog that can breathe fire," The dog let out a burst of flame towards Homer. Fortunately Homer was able to shield himself with the sword. The dog had smashed the ceiling when it was summoned and Homer could see the outside when for the wall had been destroyed when he was beckoned too.
"Here goes nothing," The fat man ran up to the beast and swung the sword into its belly. He held on to the sword as it seemed to be stuck somewhere in the dog's lower-middle body. He attempted to set the sword free but the dog responded by thrashing its left head and causing the chubby man too go flying out of the house and landing on the ground that was a whole storey below them.
The white knight started laughing at the sight outside the house. He saw Homer lying on the grass field below him and not moving. However the white knight's laughter was soon replaced with horror when he observed Homer's hand.
"He broke the sword!!!" Screamed the white knight in horror as he observed the other half was trapped with in his beast.
"Kill him," Sir Hemmingway barked at the dog……..
"Oh you fight well Snake, but you got to realise Heavy Metal is the superior form of all music," The former prison friends had been bashing guitars with each other for an hour but Snake seemed to get tired.
"You forgot Nirvana dude, Nirvana!!!"
"Oh true… but still," Otto randomly stared playing some chords on his guitar and the stereo has some how picked up the frequency and the pickups was causing the room to be filled with music.
"Oh we shouldn't be fighting," Snake cries as he joins in and starts playing some calm soothing music.
"Arrgh that hurt my ears," Screamed Otto before he swung his guitar at Snake and knocked him out.
"No one makes me listen to soft soothing country music, unless if it's Johnny Cash," Otto decided to continue filling the room with heavy tunes.
Milhouse's anger didn't die away at all, it weirdly made him one thing he was afraid of doing all of his life. He stood up to Nelson and he was currently winning. He kept punching at Nelson's face.
"Damn you Nelson," He screamed when he was on the floor. He picked up a lamp on a lamp stand and smashing Nelson on the head causing him to bleed. He continued the assault until Nelson was just holding on to life.
"If I kill you, I'll be no better than you," Milhouse says as he watches Nelson lose his consciousness and while his own fatigue causes him to sit down. "She is dead," Thoughts of sorrow enter Milhouse's brain.
Lisa: 53
"Wait, stop!!!" Martin's plan had horribly back fired as his chamber got filled with gas. "You're a freaking Nazi," Screamed Martin as he fell into a deep sleep. Lisa's chamber disappeared as quickly as it appeared and she was free.
"Wow that test was super hard and I still got above 50" She though too herself as she looked around the room.
"Robots?" She muttered to herself as found a remote control that said… "ON" and "OFF" with the words robots written across the top. It was currently on the on position and she turned if off thinking that their might be Robots terrorising her friends and family.
"Oh not in the jungles, oh glavin," Screamed the professor who was known extremely battered up and holding on to his crotch because a robot kicked him there with its cold hard leg. Suddenly all the robots collapsed to the ground and broke into pieces. The professor however didn't know this because the kick to the crotch caused him to faint soon after due to the pain he was feeling.
"Wait, AH!!!!" Bart screamed as Sideshow Bob kicked him again. Bob had shot him in the legs 5 times, shot him in the arms twice each and beaten him up physically all over the place.
"See Bart, I got more than my vengeance, beating up Jessica, Killing Krusty… that was my vengeance, now you owe me something, although your not going to get the chance, I will slowly kill you," He kicks the boy in the gut once again as he winces.
Homer knows this is the end; he is close to lifelessness and is barely conscious as he watches the dog slowly get closer to him.
Suddenly Homer sees the dog starting to glow, although it wasn't the dog but instead half the sword of supremacy. Homer's half soon starts to glow soon and the light slowly starts to fade into a figure.
"Christian Simpson at your service, what the deuce?" The fat bald man looks around too see he has no idea where he is. Homer looks at the man and it's almost like looking into a mirror except the clothes the man is wearing is more old fashion.
"Are you the one that defeated Luke Hemmingway in the first place?" Homer asks the odd man as he nods.
"Well good luck," With the last ounces of energy in Homer's body, he throws Christian Simpson the sword of supremacy and passes out.
"Are you still alive? Oh wait you can't respond, your sleeping, Do'h" The man observes the broken sword and the fire breathing dog that is about to kill him.
"There is one way to set this," The fat man charges towards the beast and cuts off one of its heads with his half blade. The dog screams in agony as the fat man swings at it's another head. The middle head is all that remains and as he attempts to swing at it the last head shoots out a beam of flame towards him. The white knight watches in shock as his mortal enemy jumps out of harm's way.
"None of this is possibly," Thinks the white knight as continues to watch. "We must evacuate right now." The white knight knows that Christian Simpson is a slowly witted and unlikely hero but he is also the only man that can completely destroy him even though he failed to do so in the past.
Christian Simpson was starting to feel tired now but his fight was over as soon as his half of the sword touched the beast's half of the sword. The two pieces fused together and the beast was blasted by a strong beam of lightning mixed with fire. Christian regains his breath before looking at a man that could possibly be his twin.
"I got to get this man to the local doctor," Thought the man while observing his smashed up corpse. "But I'll get a beer first,"
Bart
Sideshow Bob has nearly kicked all the life out of me and I lay here dead. "We must go know," Says a distant voice and I hear Sideshow Bob groan in annoyance before I hear footsteps. I assume he had disappeared and just then I fade away in darkness which I have done way to often lately.
-
"Look Mummy, Bart is up," My little sister Maggie gives me a hug and kisses as I awake into a place I visit to often these days.
"You were close to death Bart," States as she gives me a smile.
"You are a good brother," She laughs before she runs out of the room.
"Daddy is still hurt though," I thought Dad was sitting next to Milhouse but apparently I was wrong.
"Who's that then?" I question them and they tell me about Christian Simpson.
-
"Yes!!!! I got better than you" I scream at Lisa, she observes my report card and gives me a smile.
"Yeah but not by much, A… A+… what's the difference?" That isn't what Lisa normally says but I'm used to change.
"I got a good report card too," Maggie says as she shows me her card which is full out A+ for everything.
"My card isn't that bad," Milhouse sadly says, he has reasons for only getting majority of Bs anyways. His girlfriend has been shot a month or two before the finals.
"Well my report card is alright…." Alex shows us a report card that almost resembles Lisa's except she had gotten an A+ in a yr 13 subject.
"You take level 3 soft materials and fashion?" I ask her as she nods before smiling, how could they skip her to a level 3 class?
"Well my card is just like Bart's," Jessica for once isn't ashamed to have a report card like mine.
Mum is late today; we had been waiting outside our school for nearly an hour today. Maggie was told to come to our school since she finished early. She was going to take us to the funeral today.
"Sorry I'm late kids, you going to go like that?" We all nodded knowing we didn't have enough time to go to our homes and change.
"Alright," We all enter the car, and it's amazing that we can fit so many people into it. Although Alex, Jessica and Maggie are incredibly slim. They looked almost as skinny as Victoria Beckham, not as ugly or stupid but still….
"Now we say good bye to Christian Simpson, a man we didn't know very well but a man that had been alive for nearly 800 years and a modest man. A man who was able to slay a 14 ft 3 headed fire breathing dog, a man was able to prevent the riddle's quest being completed 7 centuries ago. Rest in Peace Christian Simpson," That wasn't one of Jessica's father's normal speeches but it still had the same meaning. It was never fun too see anyone die but I am hopefully the future will be better….
"He is sleeping?"
"No Homer, he is dead,"
"Oh thank God, I thought that was me there sleeping, cause he looks like me but he is just dead… wait that's worst, I'm dead?"