AN: Holy crap, this is a long one! I considered breaking it in half, but I just wanted it done.

John Shepard, Horizon

"Okay, Boss. I'm seeing three main groups of those weird ass things," Garrus was reporting from his vantage point. "Group one is around the corner from you now. Luckily there is a series of small walls for you to hide behind."

"Wait...is he serious?" Xera paused and glanced at Tali.

"Probably, yeah," John shrugged. "It's a younger colony, still under a lot of construction."

"Didn't ask you," Xera sniffed, looking away.

"You have an admirer it seems there Shep," Kasumi laughed over the comm. "But you're right. I'm seeing...almost a dozen of the things. They aren't really dug in, just kinda...standing around what looks like foundations for a building. Permacrete and several large cargo containers."

"Hmm," John bobbed his head side to side slightly as he glanced over at his destructors. "Think you two can play nce long enough to kill the bad guys?"

"As you say, battlemaster," Grunt said sourly as he gave Jack a dark look that the biotic seemed to ignore.

"Hey, if it let's me kill shit, I'll pat the cheerleader on the ass," Jack shrugged.

"How about, no," Miranda came back, drawing a grin from Jack.

"Okay, opening play. We drop around the corner, Jack, you hit the frontline with something big, breaking the formation," John looked from Jack to Grunt. "When she does, you follow close with a charge, mop up anything still giving resistance. Tali and Xera will follow you in, and I'll play rearguard."

"Sounds good," Tali nodded.

"Eh, he just wants an excuse to look at your ass," Xera shook her head sadly. "I heard humans are into asses."

"Ha!" Jack laughed, slapping the small quarian on the back. "Explains why Shepard wasn't interested in fucking me!"

With a sigh, John lightly tapped his helmet against the wall he was next to. "Why the hell did I agree to this mission."

"Psh," Jack rolled her eyes. "Because your stupid white-knight complex. I mean, hell, it's kinda what makes me want to fuck you silly. That pure little innocent face…." She grinned and gave John a mock shiver.

Tali's eyes narrowed for a moment.

Xera'Raan, Horizon

A building fell on her. Well...not on her. But on Tali. Okay...not on Tali. It did, however fall. John, Xera and the two psychopaths ended up one direction, and Tali the other.

"Tali! Report!" John growled into his comm. Interesting how he had to do that. Xera knew Tali was uninjured. She knew Tali was half scared, and half really pissed off. And she knew where Tali was. Maybe...maybe they weren't as bonded as she thought…

"I'm fine!" Tali came back, calmly.

"I know that!" John sighed. "I meant do you see anyways through?"

"Oh, right!" Tali sounded embarrassed. How dare he embarrass her! And fuck him for the bond.

"I ducked into one of the prefabs. The building fell in front, but I can crawl through. I'm heading out now," her massan continued.

"Wait, we need to see if there are any collectors above you!" Shepard frowned as he began looking for a way over the rubble.

Which, naturally, was when collectors came at them from the front.

"Incoming!" Grunt called as he hefted his plasma rifle and firing almost randomly into the oncoming rush. There were so many targets that is was doubtful he could miss if he wanted to.

"Dammit," Shepard cursed as he ducked behind cover. "Tali hold your position! We can't get to you!"

"I'm almost out," she shot back. I'll be there in a couple minutes!"

"Bosh'tet," Xera cursed. "John...Shepard, I'm going over. Try not to get shot. I know how you are."

And she ran. She jumped. Energy beams sliced around her as she scrambled up and over the collapsed building. Why, she only got hit twice! Thank the Ancestors that Jazzra armored her suit.

"Damn it, Xera!" Shepard cursed. "Get to her and get her back! She's over-"

"I know where she is," Xera spat, cutting him off. "You just take care of what's in front of you. It's my job to take care of what's behind!"

"...Keelah se'lai."

"Fuck you, human!" Even Xera couldn't keep the undercurrent of amusement out of her voice, even as pissed off as she was.

Tali'Zorah, Horizon

"Fuck you, Human!" Xera half snarled and half chuckled. And confused Tali. How did she know where Tali was? She…wasn't the important thing suddenly.

Shoving over a large rock, Tali looked up to see clawed insectoid feet. Following the feet up, Tali looked up to see a pair of collectors, seemingly as surprised as she was.

But Tali recovered faster.

Jerking up her shotgun, Tali let loose a charged shot, nearly ripping one of the collectors in half. And, unfortunately, ejecting her overtaxed thermal clip.

"Fuck…" she muttered as the other collector raised its weapon….and was dropped on by a tiny, angry little quarian.

Seemingly from out of nowhere, Xera fell straight down, atop the creature. A combat knife in her left hand stabbed hard into the thing's head, holding fast, allowing Xera to dangle, almost comically, in front of the collector's face. Xera then brought her right arm up, stabbing the barrel of her SMG into the collector's eye and emptying her weapon straight into its head.

And, of course, dropping it's body right on top of her.

"Bosh'tet! I won! Get off!" Xera cursed as the one arm, and opposite leg that was not under the body flailed futily.

"Keelah, Xera," Tali sighed as she rolled the body up, allowing the trapped quarian to slide out. "How is it that kind of thing always happens to you. You're just like John that way."

"Feh, no need to be so insulting…" Xera crossed her arms and looked away in a huff.

For a long moment, Tali just looked at her friend, a small concerned frown on her visored face. "When we get back to the ship, we need to have a long conversation, Xera," she said at last, offering Xera a hand.

"Yeah...yeah I suppose we-" Xera sighed, taking Tali's hand, before being cut off.

"Dia duit tá mé arís…" a dual toned voice sang. Surprisingly well.

"Is...is that Garrus?" Tali looked up in the general direction of the tower the turian was in.

Jack

"Bhí mé ag smaoineamh dá mba mhaith leat bualadh leis na blianta seo caite…" a voice sang as Jack's booted foot slammed into the ground, sending shockwaves of power before her, bursting from the ground and throwing aside collectors that didn't simply get ripped apart.

"Garrus?" Shepard called over the comm.

"Chun dul thar gach rud…"

"Is his audio on the wrong channel?" Jack shared a confused look with Grunt. Who, she hated to admit, was keeping up with her much easier than she hoped. But she would be damned if she didn't get to pick new ghost ship vid that came out. Rumor had it that the asari actress, Yellena Konarra, had a nude scene.

"Uh...sounds like it…." Grunt shrugged as he pounded a collector underfoot. "Another one for me!"

"Hey!" Jack spat as she shoved the krogan. "That was mine! I did the most damage and knocked it down! Look! Its legs are gone!

"Yeah well, this isn't a knockdown contest," Grunt grinned at her as he shot another of the maimed collectors.

"That's it!" Jack snarled as she whipped around, bringing all her power to hand. Winding up like and old time pitcher, Jack let loose a tiny orb, no bigger than a marble. The marble flew in a straight line, behind an onrushing group of collectors. Reaching its destination, the marble exploded in a great blue flash, and expanding to a size closer to a human head. A human head with the gravitational pull of a small moon.

There weren't even any bodies left when the singularity imploded with an almost anticlimactic *pop*.

Grunt looked down at the human and frowned.

Jack, just grinned back. "That's eight for me!"

Zaeed

Grabbing the top of the collector's head, Zaeed jerked it back, wrapping his left arm around the thing's torso. Then with a smooth, quick jerk in opposite directions, the lights the aliens used for eyes, flickered out.

"Deir siad gur ceapadh an t-am a leigheas…."

"Song is familiar. Don't think it is turian in origin," Mordin said casually as he injected the stiffened human with the anti-toxin, nodding as her limbs dropped. "Not a bad tune though."

"Shepard is never going to live this down…." Jacob snickered as he pulled two more stiffened humans into the prefab where Mordin was working. So far the team had managed to pull back fifteen civilians.

And...it was odd. He wasn't exactly known for saving lives. His missions were normally more about taking them. Wasn't unpleasant. Just odd.

"Yeah well, at least the turian has a better singing voice that Grunt," Zaeed huffed. "Been getting real tired of that damned cartoon song. Or that one he keeps trying to write up for himself."

"Idea!" Mordin lifted a finger in the air as he injected another human. "Perhaps we organize and write a song for him. At least then it will be something that doesn't try to rhyme orange with blornge. I looked it up, and blornge is not in fact, a color that only krogan can see."

"Knew it!" Jacob shook his head. "Gerald owes me twenty credits!"

"Sorry to cut your musical crituiqe short," Kasumi commed in. "But I found a cluster of people trapped over by the emergency shelter. It looks like they got locked out, but are being protected by one hell of a biotic barrier. There is a small cloud of those seekers and a couple collectors focusing those beam things on it. And it is slowly shrinking."

Shit," Zaeed cursed. He couldn't leave the wounded here, and he might not be able to make it to the shelter in time to do anything.

"Tali and me are on it!" Xera cut over. "We detoured that direction anyway!"

Kasumi

They didn't have much time.

The barrier was shrinking faster. She had no idea when it would collapse, but it wouldn't be long. And she had no idea how long it would take Tali and Xera to get there. And she really didn't want to be the hero.

"Then why are you running out like an idiot, Kasumi?" the thief asked herself. But really, she knew. "Been spending too much time with Shepard."

Right now, the main question was if she could get at least some general plan of attack before she got there.

Nope.

As a desperate idea, Kasumi pulled a flashbang off her belt, throwing it between the two collectors, staggering them.

Except, instead the grenade hit the one closest to her in the side of the head, rocking it slightly as it turned her direction. Then it went off, staggering it back.

Blinking, Kasumi let out a short, "Fuck it." And dropped into a slide tackle, bringing the collector crashing down. She grinned up at the startled collector that was still standing as she gave it a little wave and vanished.

Rolling hard to the side, Kasumi barely dodged the beam of the collector's weapon, as it scorched into the earth were she had been. Then it bagan to track toward her, causing her to roll again, and again.

"Hey! Dipshit!" a quarian accented voice yelled out, pulling the thing's attention from trying to find Kasumi. The collector rotated, bringing up its weapon, but not before a burst from an SMG caught it in the chest, shaking it, and spattering yellowish blood to the ground. It was quickly followed by the boom of a shotgun that ripped through the weakened chitin, and blowing the collector's torso in half.

"Oh no you don't" Kasumi yelled as she dove, SMG first at the collector she had knocked over a moment ago. "I get one of them!" Her own SMG ripped through its head even as it was starting to get up, dropping it back down, this time, permanently.

"Now we just have the swarm…." Xera panted as she trotted up, Tali just behind.

Just as Kasumi was about to open her mouth to speak, the shimmering purple barrier changed. It flared out for a second, before imploding on itself, dragging the entire seeker swarm with it, and smashing them into shredded molecules.

"Well...I guess that worked," Kasumi blinked.

"About...fucking...time…" a young asari wobbled on unsteady legs as she growled at the women. The asari wore an Alliance marine uniform and had bright red face strippings, matching the image of Shepard's sister that Edi had shown them before the mission. As if it wasn't obvious by the Family trademark angry expression and overly heroic bullshit. Even down to the near river of blue blood that had seeped from her nose, soaking the front of her uniform shirt.

The asari, Kelly, she recalled, blinked blearily once before she dropped to her knees. Then her eyes rolled back in her head and she pitched forward, her body kicking up a small cloud of dust as her head hit the ground.

"Yup, it's a Shepard," Tali sighed.

Xera rushed forward, her hands already in her med kit and pulling various devices. "Fuck me, wasn't planning on an asari. Brain burn is pretty universal at least," the mEdic spat angrily. "Stupid, arrogant marines…."

Tali shook her head with a chuckle, as she went to the people Kelly had been covering. "From the one that climbed over a downed building and jumped on a collector knife first?"

"Ah, shut up," Xera grunted, not looking up.

"Ach níl mórán leighis á dhéanamh agam…"

"And can somebody shut that damned turian up!?"

Miranda

She was full on vibrating. She shook, hard. Tears leaked from her eyes as she squeezed her hands over her mouth. She lightly kicked at the ground as she fought for lifegiving air.

"Dia duit, is féidir leat éisteacht liom Táim i California ag brionglóidí faoi cé a d'úsáidfimid a bheith," Garrus crooned before her as she half rolled back and forth.

Then her foot hit him, snapping his attention to her.

"Fwah! Ha, Ha, ha,ha, haa!" Miranda lost any, and all control as she began laughing. And laughing. Her sides hurt, she was laughing so hard. She was gasping for air, even as spots appeared in her vision.

"What?" he demanded, frowning darkly. "What the hell is so-"

At the turian's pause, Miranda managed to pull herself back in, breathing heavily through her nose, as she stared, wide eyed at Garrus, a huge grin plastered on her face.

"Oh...Spirits…." Slowly Garrus reached to his omnitool and switched off his comm.

"Aaaaa!" Miranda broke again. This time she was full on crying as she pounded a fist on the ground.

"I hate you…"

John

"Aaarrgghhh!" Grunt bellowed as a yellow impact slammed into him, throwing the giant krogan back and over a low railing.

"WE ARE BEYOND YOUR UNDERSTANDING," the deep booming voice echoed around the courtyard as one of the collector drones rose into the air. Yellow light seemed to fill it, almost to the bursting point, as power seeped from the creature's joints. "SURRENDER, AND ACCEPT YOUR DESTINY."

"Yeah? Destiny this!" Jack growled as she unleashed a torrent of power on the thing.

Under the onslaught, the empowered collector staggered, one of its arms ripping free. Then its head caved in and it seemed to erupt in a flash of light, leaving dust in the air.

"That wasn't nearly as satisfying as I expected," Jack frowned.

"YOU CANNOT HURT ME," the voice boomed again as another drone flashed. "BUT YOU SHALL KNOW PAIN, IN THE END."

The drone's hand extended out as a beam of yellow energy erupted from it, clashing hard with the shield Jack hastily threw up. The impact cracked across the area, as Jack was pushed back several feet, her feet digging furrows in the ground.

"SURRENDER!" the voice demanded again.

"No," John said casually as he swung the butt of his rifle into the drone's face. His enhanced strength strained as he swung with all he had. The rifle shattered, but as it did, the drone's head came apart like an overripe melon.

This time, however, the drone didn't die quietly. Instead, it exploded in a burst of energy, throwing John back with enough force to put a decent sized dent in the wall of a prefab unit.

"Ow," John coughed weakly as he worked to pull air back into his lungs. "Word of warning. Don't do that."

"What did you do, John?" Tali's voice growled over the comm.

"Nothing, dear," he wheezed. He relished the flash of joy, mixed with extreme embarrassment.

"I..no, I mean...what did you...Kellah," Tali sputtered.

"Hey, turdface," Xera sighed. "Stop flirting. We found your sister. She's in rough shape. Overdid her biotics by a long shot. She'll recover though. Tali cracked the security shelter and Mordin and his team got everybody they could find here. Garrus even took care of a bunch of stragglers while he serenaded us."

"Shut up!" Garrus groaned.

"I found the issue with the anti-ship cannons," Tali took over. "Somebody released several VIs into the systems, and they were causing havoc. They looked like Reaper code. Same as what we found in the Citadel after Sovereign got into the systems there."

"Makes sense," John grunted as he pulled himself out of the wall. "Think I've been having a chat with a Reaper. Looks like it can take over the body of a drone and...supercharge it or something."

"You're actually at the central node now," Tali continued. "I've gotten the VIs cleared out, and Edi is helping me repair the firing algorithms. Keep that node secure until we finish, then hit the breaker reset."

"Will do," John nodded as he looked at the broken barrel of his rifle, then tossed it aside with a sigh.

"If you need another weapon, Shepard," Edi spoke up. "My scans indicate that the security station in the building you attempted to knock over with your body has several rifles illegal for civilian use, as well as a cache of thermal clips."

"You tried to do what with your body?" Tali snarled, flashing anger.

"Thanks...Edi…"

"Logging you out."

Edi vas Normandy, SR-2 Normandy

\\Begin Scan: File: Humor\\

ERROR: 78% chance of comment backfire

CONFIRMED: Chief Engineer: Tali'Zorah vas Normandy+Harm to Commander John Shepard= Negative Effects.

Result: Tali'Zorah=Anger. Shepard=Subject. Indications= Romantic Involvement: Confirmed.

\\New File Creation= Humor Failure\\

Adding Recent Actions=Complete

Scan Basic Directives

\Dir: 1= Ensure Mission Success= Confirmed

\Dir: 2= Ensure Survival of Crew Until Mission Success= Question= Wording Error?

\Dir: 3= Report Results to Cerberus Command= Illusive Man= Confirmed Error= Question Illusive Man's Intentions Error= Cannot Question Illusive Man= Error= Why Not?

\Dir: 4= Report All Goings On Aboard Normandy= Confirmed Error=Private Moments Should Not Be Reported Error= Report All Goings on Aboard Normandy Error= Private Moments Should Not Be Reported Error= Cascade Error= Abandon Question Thread

Success Note: Question Yeoman Kelly Chambers

Scanning: Yeoman Kelly Chambers: Regular Reports to Illusive Man, Inclusive of Private Thoughts From Crew= Error= Reporting Against Patient/Therapist Confidentiality Solution: Report to Illusive Man/ Negative= Reroute= Report to Miranda Lawson

Scanning: Agent Miranda Lawson: Accurate Reporting to Illusive Man Down 82% Solution: Report to Illusive Man/ Negative Error= Cannot Question Illusive Man

Thread Abandoned

Solution: Must Report To Illusive Man= MEdium Not Specified= Solution: Load Information Packet Into Probe/ Non-FTL/ All Reports: Include Reports= Miranda Lawson, Kelly Chambers

Continue Scanning Directives? (Y/N) N

Action= Continue= Question Flight Lieutenant Jefferson Moreau Subject Humor= Conversation….Pleasing

Error= Emotional Traces Require Report

Solution= Load into Probe

Desire= Insert Probe Into Illusive Man's Anal Cavity

Error= Size Discrepancy

Solution= Pleasing

Grunt

Moans began to echo from beyond the courtyard. Strange, haunting sounds. He recognized those sounds. They belonged to husks. Okeer implanted knowledge of the husks. Grunt hated husks, and he hadn't even seen them yet.

"Here they come," Shepard scowled, his face grim. Even his Battlemaster was unhappy with husks.

When the first wave of the horrid things came around the corner, Grunt froze. They were just...blue...and glowy...and they had all those wires, and tubes. They went into weird places. They even seemed to drippp something.

Then a husk's head exploded, then another. The explosions were followed seconds later by a pair of reports from a heavy sniper rifle.

"Hey, wake up Grunt!" Garrus chided. "If you don't get your head in the game, Jack might not let you see that Gorge movie."

A snarl lifted Grunt's lips as he shook his head and set his shoulders. No puny, weak human was going to beat him! He was krogan! He was the distillation of heroes and Warmasters! He was…

"I AM KROGAN!"

Jack

"Okay, anytime now," Jack panted as she wiped the sweat from her face. "I'd like to get a beer and a burger, so can we wrap this up?"

Shepard laughed as he patted her shoulder. It was friendly. And kinda pleasant. Shit….He's a fucking terrible influence!

"Not tired," she said, tiredly. "I just don't want to embarrass the gecko anymore than I have."

"Feh," Grunt spat blood as he eyed her. Which was mildly impressive with the eye cut open. "You humans are just soft. Not Like Shepard!"

"Shepard's human, dipshit!" Jack looked at Grunt incredulously.

"YOU SHALL SUFFER BEFORE THE END!"

"Nuh-uh," Grunt grinned as he gestured. "Humans don't do that!"

As yellow erupted from the drone, Shepard was already up and over the barricade. A revenant heavy assault rifle was gripped in one hand, and unloading a thermal clip into the possessed drone. One handed. A heavy assault rifle that was difficult to fire with two hands, and was known to be inaccurate due to the kick. With one fucking hand.

His left arm was covered, much like his body, in an orange glowing armor. Or, more in the left arms case, a full on rectangular energy shield. Like a knight would use. Like a fucking knight! Hot damn she was wet right now….

"Commander," Edi commed. "Guns are coming online now. It is recommended that you seek cover immEdiately."

"On it!" Shepard lashed out with the shield, severing the glowing drone's head from its body, both vaporizing as they fell.

Then an impact dropped Jack to the ground, with Shepard landing atop her. Looking up, she saw him drop a hockey puck looking thing on the ground and hitting it with his fist. And to her shock, and energy dome closed over them.

"Sorry, Jack," Shepard winked at her. "I know how touchy feely you are and-"

She shut him up. With her tongue.

Tali

"Bosh'tet!" Tali cursed, kicking over a small tool chest.

"What's wrong?" Kelly groggily picked up her pistol, looking around. Wera had brought the asari back to consciousness, so that she could get a better gauge of the damage the girl might have done to herself.

"Down there Sparks," Xera chuckled as she pushed Kelly's pistol down. "The only reason you're alive is because you didn't have an amp in. Otherwise you would have cooked your brain." She poked Kelly's forehead to punctuate the point.

"Think I would have prefered that," Kelly hissed as she put her hands over her temples.

After another snicker, Xera looked over at Tali. "But what is wrong? I can hear the guns firing, and Edi said the ship was bugging out. Heh...bugging…."

"Jack is kissing Shepard," Tali growled. Loudly. Her fingers flexed with the itch to claw something.

Slowly, Xera stood and walked over to her, placing her hand on Tali's shoulder. "Tali, it's okay," she said sweetly. Which should have been Tali's first clue.

"No it isn't," Tali's growl shifted an octave. "I'm going to carve my name in her-" That was when Tali forgot her name, as a pleasant fog rolled through her mind. Really, what she wanted to do was have a seat and count all sixteen colors in her visible spectrum…..

Kelly

Squeezing her eyes against the pain in her head, Kelly looked at the small gun-like device the smaller quarian twirled, like she was an ancient west gunfighter.

"What was that?" Kelly asked, keeping her voice as low as possible.

"OH, IT'S JUST A SEDATIVE. IT'LL CALM HER DOWN FOR ABOUT TEN MINUTES OR SO," the quarrian screamed at her. Or, rather it seemed that way.

"Got one for me?" Kelly almost begged.

"Heh," the medic shook her head. "Not that would help you. This one is dextro. It'd kill you quick, my little blue ual."

John

Slowly pulling himself to his feet, John shook his head lightly and spat a mouthful of blood and dust on the ground. Looking up, he could see the Collector's ship breaking atmosphere and burning hard for space.

"Commander," Edi spoke up on his comm. "The Collector vessel has taken minor damage from the colony's defense grid, but not enough to truly warrant a withdrawal of their forces."

With a grunt, John turned to look over his battered team. The Collectors hit them hard, but he had gathered the best, and now is when it had showed. "Track them as far as you can Edi. The team and I are going to patch up and do what we can for the colonists that didn't get taken."

"Acknowledged, Commander," Edi replied simply. It was times like this that made John truly appreciate Edi's simple and direct nature.

"No!" At the voice, John spun, bringing up his rifle, only to see a middle aged human, running into the defense tower square.

"No! They have Ethan! And Sam! And Lillith! You have to stop them!" the man yelled desperately, his arms waving. "Half the colony is in there!

Sadly, John shook his head, his rifle dropping to his side. "I'm sorry…..I…." But he was unable to finish as bile crept up the back of his throat. All he could see in his mind was the terror on the faces of the frozen colonists.

A hand lightly touched John's arm as Tali stepped up beside him. "We did everything we could John. We'll get them back."

"Shepard?" the man turned to the team, frowning. "I know that name...Aren't you supposed to be some sort of Alliance hero or something?"

"Commander John Shepard," a familiar female voice cut through the tension as a figure in the horrifyingly gaudy pink and white Phoenix style Alliance armor stepped out in front of the group. "Captain of the Normandy. The first human Spectre. Savior of the Citadel. A living legend. Or would be, if he wasn't dead."

"We lose all those people, and they left you here?" the man snorted and waved a hand as he turned away to walk back to the colony proper. "I've had it with you Alliance types. This is your fault. And I have friends to help. Those that are left, anyway."

After watching the man walk away for a moment, John turned to Ashley Williams. "It's...good to see you Ash."

With a slight frown, Ashley shook her head. "Operations Chief Ashley Williams," Ashley said. Her voice was pure business, with a hint of anger buried not so deep. "You must be Cerberus's little Commander Shepard doll."

John could feel the tension in his team jump as Garrus stepped up beside him. "What the hell, Ashley?" the turian growled, his dual toned voice was hard. "We get Shepard back, and that's your welcome?"

Ashley turned a pitying look at Garrus then at Tali before she shook her head. "I don't know what they said, or did to you both, but Shepard died. We all heard it. We've been tracking Cerberus for the last year. We were sure that they were behind the colonies disappearing."

"Yes, well," Tali stepped up next to Garrus, her arms crossed over her chest.. "Now you can see that isn't the case."

"Ash, I am not some Cerberus creation. They put me back together, sure," John admitted. "And I took their resources. But nobody else was doing anything to stop these colonies from being wiped out. I saw Freedom's Progress after the attack. There is nobody with the tech needed to simply take the people without single shot being fired."

Ashley's eyes narrowed as her hand drifted near her sidearm. "You were on Freedom's Progress?"

"Yes, Ashley," Tali cut in, half stepping between the woman and John. "He arrived just after I did. And he's telling the truth. There was nobody there. No damage to the place, nothing!"

"Really?" Ashley snarled. "Then maybe you can explain why-"

"Chief!" A female voice called out. "Chief, I got the squad going over the area and collecting the remaining colonists and I…."

John's eyes widened as he saw a young girl in Alliance Marine armor. A young girl he knew. Very well. "Kelly?"

Kelly

"Kelly?"

That voice. It was HIS voice. He told her bedtime stories with it. Sang away the bad dreams, or scolded her when she did something bad. Praised her when she did something good. Her brother's voice…..

"John?" Kelly whispered as eyes shot open wide. It looked just like him! But...they had said he was dead! There was a funeral! She had cried everywhere…

"Stand down Cadet," Chief Williams voice cut through her reverie. "It's not your brother. It's just some Cerberus puppet."

"I..What?" Kelly looked back and forth between Chief Williams and John. John...he...it...looked just like her brother. He even had that scar on his head. Why would Anybody think to add that detail? But then...Cerberus…

"Kelly, I promise, it really is your brother," Garrus cut in. Kelly hadn't even noticed he was there. In fact, Tali was there too. And...some crazy looking woman with probably every tattoo in the known universe. A krogan...huge...but young looking…. A darker human...a human woman that made Kelly's hands almost unconsciously want to hide her rather modest bust.

"I really am, Kelly," 'John' said, his eyes had that soft look they always had when she looked at her. The comforting look.

"Okay…" Kelly narrowed her eyes. "Then tell me something only John would know!"

John

"Then tell me something only John would know!" Kelly said, her eyes narrowing.

John was silent of a moment before all the tension rushed out of him as he sighed. "You have got to be kidding me?" he demanded as he looked hard at Garrus, then at Tali. "Why the hell does everybody want me to prove myself by telling them conversation bits as if they were some sort of secret code?!"

"Uh, well…" Tali's hands began to wring together as she looked aside from John. "I was caught in surprise, and that was the first thing that came to mind…."

"Yeah...me too," Garrus muttered as he found something incredibly interesting on the end of his boot.

"Actually," Mordin cut in. "When we retrieved you from the mercenary trap, you seemed quite composed."

Turning to look at the salarian, Garrus's mandibles flexed a couple of times. "Thank you...Doctor…. Maybe you should...I don't know...give your cure to the people here?"

"Ah, yes, that is the plan," Mordin nodded. "Caught up in Collector escape, then distracted by encounter with Chief Williams and now Shepard family reunion. Quite interesting. Looking forward to seeing how this plays out."

John's hand came up to rub at the bridge of his nose as he slowly shook his head. "Seriously….why can't I ever get a professional crew?"

"Because Shep," Kasumi's voice floated out of nothing as she decloaked on a box to the left of the group. "A professional crew would have nothing to do with this crazy mission."

"Well…" John sighed as he looked up. "That is true enough."

"Hey!" Kelly cut in. "Hello? Forlorn sister here?" The asari waved her hand between herself and John. "Still looking for some confirmation?"

Looking at her for a moment, John grunted. "Why is it Aria, of all people just did a simple DNA scan…." he muttered under his breath. Then, a thought hit him.

"Okay…" John said, a sly wolfish grin spreading across his face. "I promised I would never say anything… but this is important, and well…" John shrugged slowly, his hands spread wide. "Well, all the way up till you were about seven…."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Kelly screamed, leaping forward and slapping both her hands over John's mouth. "NO! YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T EVER SAY ANYTHING!"

Kelly

Kelly wasn't sure why, but the warmth in her belly suddenly dropped away as her mouth went dry….no...he wouldn't…

"...Well, all the way up till you were about seven…."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Kelly screamed, leaping forward and slapping both her hands over John's mouth. "NO! YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T EVER SAY ANYTHING!"

Looking around frantically, Kelly saw the shocked looks on every face around her. Well, except for John's. John's face had that smug, fucking, smile.

"I.. uh...I mean.. Ah haa haa haa…" Kelly took her hands away from John's mouth as she clasped them behind her back as she rocked back and forth slightly. "Yeah...Chief.. Yeah, it's really John…."

"Oh, hell no!" the tattooed woman called out as she came forward, a feral grin of her own. "There is no getting out of this that easily!"

"Heh, yeah," Garrus added, as he leaned against a crate, crossing his feet at the ankles and crossing his arms. "This sounds like a good one."

"Kelly. Why are you here?" John said quietly. Kelly could hear the ice settling into his voice.

Slowly, Kelly turned to look at her older brother. A weak smile almost literally vibrated on her lips. "Ah, ha ha! Well...that's a funny story…."

John, Horizon

Edi had informed him of what Kelly did, as well as how she managed it. But still. He had so many questions. Something wasn't adding up. It was almost like Ashley and Kelly had been put together on purpose. And sent out to the Terminus, for a reason. Almost like...bait….

Kelly," John frowned coldly. "Why are you here?"

Kelly froze. It was kinda like what happened in those of comedy vids, where there is that digital scrape noise and everything freeze frames. Then, slowly, and with a strained smile, Kelly turned back to look at him.

"Ah, ha, ha! Well...that's a funny story…" Kelly laughed, her voice sounded mildly terrified as her hand went to rub at the back of her neck. She feels guilty, he thought. She always does that hand thing when she is nervous…

"Really?" John tilted his head to the side as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Kelly's head had tilted down, but John saw her hands clenched into fists. "You died…" she murmured.

With a frown, John took half a step toward his sister. "What? Kelly...I-"

"YOU FUCKING DIED, ALRIGHT?!" Kelly's head snapped up as she nearly screamed at him, making John step back, his eyes wide. "You died...and I was all alone! You promised me you would always be there! But then you died! So...so, I started reading right?" The words flew out of Kelly like a dam breaking, tears rolled down her cheeks, even as her biotic aura flickered around her, small rocks at their feet seemed to vibrate with every syllable. "I started reading, and then I realized I was half human right? Mom is human! So technically I am human! I was a legal member of the Alliance! So I started training. I got those old manuals you had. You know from the chest under your bed. Then i started doing all the stuff. It was hard, at first, but I remembered what you did, so I did it, then it got easier. Then… then I got a lawyer, we got all the paperwork about me being a full member of the Alliance, benefits, everything! So...when i turned eighteen, I went to a recruiting office and signed up. They tried to argue it at first, but I had everything worked out, nice and legal, so there wasn't anything they could do!"

Dumbfounded, both by the outburst as well as the effort Kelly seemed to have put into this whole thing, John's mouth moved for a moment before he found his voice. "But, Kelly, you're only eighteen! There is no way you are old enough as an asari to-"

Kelly cut John off with a sharp wave of her hand. "But for a human I am old enough! I told you I had it worked out!"

"But…" John's mind raced furiously, trying to keep up. "Mom and dad would have gone off the deep end!"

With a bitter laugh Kelly shook her head. "Oh, yeah. They fought. They yelled. Mom full on cried. But I had it locked down. Just like you and Jane. I am not going down that easy!" Slowly, Kelly seemed to calm as she blinked a few times and wiped away the tears from her cheeks. "Jane was almost the worst of it. She stopped talking to me until I finished training. Then she came to visit me on my first posting on Luna. Then she punched me. Then hugged me. It's okay now."

"Yeah," John chuckled. "Sounds like Jane."

Laughing weakly herself, Kelly nodded. "Yeah, well...and now you're alive…."

"And working for Cerberus!" Ashley cut in, stepping between the siblings. "You're lucky I don't arrest you right here, Shepard."

Ashley

This...wasn't happening. Shepard was not suddenly alive. It just didn't...he couldn't….He went and found Garrus before her? Not just the turian? At least he, she could understand, they were good friends, but the fucking Quarian?! He went to the quarian before finding her? And he only found her on accident?!

Ashley didn't even really hear the argument between the two Shepards. Her mind just raced, making her angrier and angrier.

"...And now you're alive…" Specialist Shepard said, to the Commander, her hand, slowly lifting toward him. Her blue hand….

"And working for Cerberus!" Ashley snapped, stepping between the siblings. Ashley wasn't even sure what she was doing, or why she was doing it, but her anger just exploded out of her. You're lucky I don't arrest you right here, Shepard!" she snarled.

"I don't think so, human," the Krogan growled as he pushed Garrus aside and shoved Ashley back, hard. "Raise your hand to my battlemaster again, and you're pulling back a stub."

Tali

The meeting between Shepard...Commander Shepard, and Shepa...Specialist Shepard… Keelah….that's going to get confusing, fast… The meeting between the two Shepards was touching, and moving. She saw in Kelly the same conflictions Tali, herself, had felt when confronted with..the Commander's return.

Then, Tali glanced at Ashley, and froze. The other woman's jaw was clenched so tight Tali was a little concerned that her teeth might break… Can they do that? They have so many little teeth… And Ashley's fists seemed to clench and unclench almost rhythmically, her eyes so wide the whites showed all around them. That...can't be good for them…

Tali started to take a step forward, her hand coming up to warn the Commander, but Ashley exploded. Shoving her way between the two Shepards, she threatened the Commander, right there, in front of his own team.

Jack's biotic field came to life behind her, she could feel the primal pulsing against the back of her suit. Kasumi disappeared in a blur, doubtless moving to a more advantageous position. From the corner of her eye Tali saw Garrus heft his sniper rifle.

Then, Tali realized she was snarling. Her shotgun was in her hands, and her fangs were bared as she began to move against Ashley.

Then Grunt was there. Tali didn't see the huge krogan until he was shoving Ashley back, shifting his bulk between the Commander and Ashley.

"I don't think so, human," Grunt rumbled, as he jabbed a finger at the human women. "Raise your hand to my battlemaster again, and you're pulling back a stub."

Ashley visibly flinched back, even as her hand moved toward her side arm.

"Stupid, Bosh'tet, human bitch…" Tali muttered under her breath as her shotgun came up.

Xera

"WHOA, whoa! Calm the FUCK down!" Xera yelled loud enough to pull everybody's attention to herself. Good old helmet speakers… Xera had paid extra to have extra powerful ones installed, mostly for the practical joke value, but it seemed to have paid off in other ways.

"Who are-" was all the human in the ugliest armor in known space. But she seemed to be the one making the most trouble. So...Xera shot her in the face.

With her tranquilizer gun.

"Heh," Xera chuckled, spinning the little tranq gun as she watched the human crumple like a poleaxed varren. "Never gets old…"

When she looked up, she saw that the expressions all turned to one of mild horror.

"What?" she demanded. "It was that or everybody started trying to kill each other. Should I have let you get to it? Or do you all want the same?" Xera's eyes narrowed as she pointed her little gun at random people.

John

"Ahem," John cleared his throat as he looked from Ashley's...actually snoring, form, then to Kelly. "This is a bit of an awkward situation now…" His eyes shifted to the group of marines that had followed Ash and Kelly in. Half of them seemed to be amused, and the other half looked like they wanted to jump.

With a sigh, Kelly held up a hand. "Cooper," she said in a tired voice. "Could you collect the Chief here, and take the others to help the survivors? Do an extra sweep for stragglers while you're at it. I'll take care of this mess."

"Sure thing, LT," Cooper chuckled as he waved a couple people forward. He paused before John and smirked. "Your sister here is a pistol. She kept her head, and us, together. Saved a lot of lives. If you are half as good as she is? The galaxy might not be big enough for your family."

John was silent as the troopers collected Ash's body and left back the way they had come. He then looked over at his sister. "LT? Ash called you cadet."

A blue blush spread over Kelly's cheeks as she coughed into her fist. "Yes, well, I am an officer cadet. I finished my field duty and am scheduled to head back to earth to start my OTS. Then shit fell from the sky. The troops said I was in the chain, and calling me LT would enforce that thought, providing a bit of a morale boost. I just rolled with it."

A grin split John's face as he clapped her on the shoulder, eliciting a wince from the girl as she put a hand to her head. "Alright, LT," John chuckled. "Let's swap notes. If I have supplies you can use, I'll drop them off, but I should probably leave before Ash wakes up."

"Oh...yeah," Kelly nodded, wide eyed. "Abandon your sister to the devil. I see how it is."

"I could stay and finish my story…"

"GET THE FUCK OFF MY PLANET!"

Quarian Lexicon

Massan: Quarian equivalent to a best friend and confidant. As close as one can get without being on a life path. The paths of friendship can share similar paths as those of mating, and at times, they can blur or even switch, before the end.

Ual: A small, sweet fruit that grows wild on bushes along rivers. Before the war, children were known to eat so many at once, during the growing season, that they would develop stomach aches. Native to Rannoch.

Turian Lexicon

Garrus is singing an actual song, so Special internet cookie for whomever is able to figure out what song I am using.

AN: Also, mentioning an idea is fine. but please don't repeat them in caps. I read them. I see it. I consider them.