They sank down onto a large rock, sitting close together, and Tom held her for several long minutes as tears flowed and sobs shook her body. And in those minutes, Kathryn gave into her feelings and buried her head against his shoulder, her hands clutching at his back, holding on, as if letting go would unleash even more emotions.

She cried. First, for Chakotay. For the frustration he felt every day. For the fear she'd seen in his eyes – fear that she had caused.

She cried. Then, for the ship. For Voyager and the crew – fellow officers and friends. For the light years and the lifetimes that still lay between them and home – a space that her decision had formed.

And she cried. Finally, for her. And the man she had lost – her first officer, her friend, her husband, her lover – the man he had been and would never be again. Despite all the hopes and prayers and encouraging words, she cried – because she missed him.

And then she pulled back and let go, reached up, brushed her fingers over her eyes and cheeks, dried the tears, took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Tom."

And he saw the light shift in her eyes, soft and then firm, Kathryn to Captain.

"For what?" he challenged. "Being human? For letting your feelings show?"

Kathryn turned on the rock, looked away.

Tom touched her shoulder. "For loving someone? And being frightened?"

She shook her head as if denying his words.

Tom's hand closed around her upper arm. "Kathryn, I know you and B'Elanna have this… unwritten rule that won't allow either of you to cry in front of Chakotay, but that doesn't make any sense." He felt her stiffen. "How can we tell him it's all right to cry and show his emotions if we don't?" He hesitated a moment, considering his next words, then continued. "And he's feeling a lot of emotions right now – feelings that he's not sure about, not sure what to do or how to act…"

Kathryn nodded and replied softly. "I know."

"He loves you so much, and he needs all of you – not just the calm, composed Captain. He needs to know that you get frustrated, too - that you're frightened and unsure sometimes."

Kathryn slowly turned back, looked at Tom, her eyes filling with tears again. "I tell him that – all the time."

"But do you show him?"

It was a simple question for something so complicated and the answer was so evident – in the way she talked with him, and dealt with him, and lived with him. What she told Chakotay wasn't always what she showed him.

"I… I have to be strong for him," she countered.

And Tom responded with another question. "When does he get to be strong for you?"

"He helped me after I was injured," she shot back, voice hardening, growing defensive.

Tom shook his head. "I'm not talking about physical strength. You know that. Physically, Chakotay's stronger than any of us. Even now."

"Tom… he's fragile emotionally. I can't-"

"Is he? Is he really any more emotionally fragile than the rest of us?" Now Tom's voice grew hard, almost angry. "B'Elanna has nightmares, and she wakes up crying. And I know she's crying for him. Oh, she doesn't tell me very much - doesn't admit to anything. But those nightmares started right after his accident. And the Doctor… Well, I guess we could alter his subroutines to eliminate that look of worried frustration he gets when he examines Chakotay – maybe we could wipe out altogether the sense of responsibility he feels because he can't fix him. And Joe Carey – Joe told me that if he'd only been a few meters closer in Engineering that day he could have softened the blow by placing his own body between Chakotay and the bulkhead. Harry feels guilty because he couldn't keep the inertial dampeners from overloading, Seven worries that she didn't spot the spatial rift sooner, and I… Hell, I couldn't get us away from it fast enough!"

"Tom…" Kathryn started.

"So if you want to use that as an excuse, then you'll have to use if for all of us."

She nodded. "You're right. I don't… I don't like thinking about how many of us were hurt that day. Not just Chakotay… not just me." She pressed a hand to his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head, felt the gathered tension slowly seeping away with each breath. "No, Kathryn, that's just it… You don't have anything to be sorry for. It just happened. Not because of anything we did or didn't do. It's nobody's fault." He raised his hand, touched the tears that were slowly making their way down her cheeks. "It's just time for all of us to stop being so damned strong all the time."

~vVv~