Robin was awoken with a start as her phone buzzed in her bag. She paused, taking in her surroundings and she felt a rush of dread as she realised she was in a hospital and why she was there.

She fumbled around in her bag and fished out her phone, still feeling like she was stuck in some kind of eternal nightmare with no escape, no way out, and turning on her home screen, she squinted as she was faced with the sudden bright lights of her phone in the dimly lit corridor she had been spending her time in a while now.

The first thing she did was darting her eyes towards the clock on her phone, which indicated it was almost 12:30 in the morning and she realised why it was so quiet in the hallway.

Everybody should have gone to bed by now… And Luke, she thought with hope. He should be out very, very soon.

Checking her notifications, she noticed she had received a reply from Barney, and eager to find out what he had said on the matter, she clicked on that little blue sign.

To: Robin Scherbatsky

From: Barney Stinson

Subject: Oh…

Robin… I'm so, so, so sorry about this. Hang in there. Please be strong, for those who cannot be, and most importantly – don't blame yourself, do you understand? It was definitely not your fault, and it never will be. You didn't know. You weren't even there.

And remember that if you need me, I'm here. I'm always here.

You did not just ruin my day with your email. You never ruin my day with what you have to say.

I know nothing I am saying right now can possibly change the way things are right now but I hope it does make you feel better, however slightly.

Don't feel like you're burdening me, because I love and care for you.

So email me if you feel like you can't do this on your own, okay? Nobody's expecting you to. It's okay not to be okay.

Barney

Robin closed her eyes, tired from thinking as Barney's voice rung in her head.

It's okay not to be okay.

He was right. In this critical moment, does it matter anymore?

Why did she have to act like she did not need anyone or that she 'got this' all the time? The truth is, she needed somebody. She had always needed somebody to be there for her, no matter how little she spoke of that issue. She never expressed her fondness for a companion or any of her vulnerabilities and she was happy she came off as that brave, strong and independent one all the time.

But what more is there to hide from him? That man knew exactly everything she felt and thought, and he was her best friend after all. Robin felt like if he was someone she could communicate with in serious conversations or dish in on harmless banter, she should grasp the opportunity and tell him everything right there and then. Everything she was feeling from the moment she rushed to the hospital and everything she was feeling right now.

To: Barney Stinson

From: Robin Scherbatsky

Subject: I'm really sorry about that.

Come on, it did dampen your mood. I can tell. So I'm really sorry about that. But behold, this is not a pity party. I just wanted to let you know that I'm grateful for your support and I feel like a douche because I can't say I've always been there for you like you have been for me.

And please don't talk like he's dead or something, because he's not. His heart is not going to stop beating tonight. Or the next night. Or the next. Or all the nights from now 'till the end of time, because I want to grow old with him. Please tell me he's going to be okay. I wish there was a way of me knowing how he's doing in there because any second now I feel like I'm about to fall to pieces.

I could not have asked for a better person in my life than you.

Robin

She sighed.

She was in her twenties and she did not need this to happen to her right now. This had hit her like a pile of bricks and she could not even begin to describe the things she was feeling. She had never felt anything like this before in her life and she was certain this was a feeling she would never forget.

Her heart racing, her mind going fuzzy, tears streaming down her face and everything spinning out of control. She knew these things were beyond her power and she knew that Barney was right – there was no way she was responsible for what had happened to her boyfriend. She was not even there.

But somehow she felt guilty. What if she had gone with him? Could that have prevented him from ending up here? Was he drinking and driving? Or was he simply speeding through the highway, waiting to get home and call her on the phone? What if she had told him she had plans with him and instead of going to the party; he would have to do something else then? Her mind was full of 'what if's and she hated that. She hated every single thought and doubt but they kept coming.

Why was her life falling apart at this critical moment? Why her? Why not somebody else, maybe somebody else who was more prepared?

It had been barely five minutes when her phone buzzed again. Barney's replies were surprisingly quick.

To: Robin Scherbatsky

From: Barney Stinson

Subject: He will pull through.

Robin… Listen to me. He will pull through, do you understand? You are right, his heart is not going to stop beating tonight, or tomorrow night, or anytime soon. You just have to hang in there for a while longer because soon enough he will be out of the OR, and he'll stay in the hospital for two weeks, and then you will go home with him afterwards laughing about it, and in fifty years, the two of you will be making jokes about this entire thing.

You are anything but a douche. You are the sweetest, most clever woman I've known and honestly, you're always under-selling yourself. This is me here, giving you a virtual high-five, telling you you're going to be okay.

Barney

To: Barney Stinson

From: Robin Scherbatsky

Subject: Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you and thank you.

This means a lot to me.

You mean a lot to me. You and your words. I don't know how you do it, but you're keeping me calm. Thank you for that. Thank you so much for that.

I will be brave.

Robin

As soon as she hit send, she noticed, from the corner of her eye, the light on the wall beside the entrance of the operation room dimmed. At once, she jumped out of her seat. She knew what that meant. She had seen it in shows and movies. And suddenly, her knees felt weak, and her chest felt tight.

This is it, she thought, and she had never felt so much anxiety pent up in her body. This is it.