After we left twilight was heavy upon the carriage. Eric's hand drifted to mine in the shadows of the conveyance. His touch on me was fire to my ice. I felt ashamed of my feelings as I had looked upon Felicia's body. She'd been a human being with a real beating heart and a life and I'd felt nothing buy joy at her demise. The rain of earlier seemed to settle into the grooves of the night. It was a rain that would last for days.

That night after returning home we retired to the study and sat before a hissing fire. "That is dress is small on you," he observed as we sat.

I nodded "Yes I've had it since my mother passed."

We were quiet for a spell and listened to the rain pattering down the panes of glass.

I looked over and caught his face in my mind like a snapshot to always remember the way it looked in that instant. Before time had sunk its claws into him. He half turned to me "What is it Sookie?"

"I'm thinking of the impermanence of us, we are decaying," I fell quiet for a second "Like plucked flowers," said I finishing my thought.

Eric stood and made us drinks and when he moved to hand one to me I shook my head "No thank you, I would rather have some juice."

His head tilted to the side and his eyes widened "You think you are with child."

I said nothing trembling internally with fear at his reaction. He slung back both drinks and walked over to me and fell to his knees and pressed his face against my stomach. "My daughter," he whispered. I felt a shock go through me at his words.

"Don't you want a son?" if I sounded astonished can you blame me?

His hand caressed me "At some point yes, but I want a daughter that looks just like you, that I can coddle and pamper and dress up," he glanced up and the excitement in his gaze was real.

That he should firstly want a girl was so wonderful and irritating to me. "But I hate women," I snapped.

He laughed and rose to reclaim his seat his next to mine "Yes I know but you shan't hate our little one, she will be filled with our strength and beauty."

I rubbed my tummy "I want a son, daily I will pray to the stars for it to be so."

Eric scowled into the fire "As you wish love, we shall have a brood of babes," he fell quiet and a look of coming ecstasy infused him. "You will look so lovely carrying my child," he turned to me with such adoration that I felt breathless.

He stood and picked me up and cradled me as if I were one of his orchids. "Children are the most wonderful beings in the world besides flowers and animals," he said laying me into our bed.

He made love to me then tenderly and though I despised it gentleness I understood he acted from fear. We lay in the massive four poster bed with the warm wind heavy with the innocence and brooding inherent in rain. Thunder cut a sword across the velvet of the sky.

It was the beginning of a storm that would last seven days. When I awoke Eric was in the other room reading a book in the predawn softness coming through the window. He glanced up with such delight "Mine," he said quietly. I wondered if he meant me or the babe growing or both.

"My lord, many babes die before being born," said I coming to sit across from him. He looked so wounded by my words that I wished to snatch them back. "Our child will not perish," he said with great firmness.

We ate breakfast in his chambers and he watched me as if I were all things that he worshiped.

Minnie's body was laid downstairs in the second parlor which had been cleared of furniture and after I had eaten little I went down to sit with her. Matilda was there sitting in one of the pews that had been brought in for the occasion.

She moved her great head when I entered and I saw that her eyes were dry but her mien was distraught. "Sookie," she greeted in her gruff voice.

I sat in my own pew and stared at my Minnie "Matlida," I returned. She rose from her perch and placed a rosary of amber beads around Minnie's dead hands. "I didn't know her," she said quietly. "But I will sing her soul to heaven," was the last thing she said before leaving.

Outside a storm of epic proportions was brooding making the oaks and magnolias shiver and tremble. I wondered how we would ever bury my mammy. I drew close and stared down at her and tried to see the face that I'd always loved so. But it wasn't there; the nose was the same but the lips seemed faded and flatter. I realized for the first time that my mammy hadn't been beautiful; it was only her spirit and love for me that had always made her seem so.

I heard the rush of feet coming and turned expecting to see Eric but it wasn't him. It was my father, I had written him of Minnie's passing and the fact that he came with such haste was heartening.

We embraced for a moment before he released me knowing that I don't like to be touched. He gazed down at Minnie with a luster of melancholy to his face. "My father was so in love with her," he said softly.

He glanced up at me "He would spend all his time with her and ignore my mother," the bitterness in his voice always explained the sharpness in his voice when he would addresses Minnie.

"We had a bigger funeral for the bastard that he sired with her than when my own sister died."

I stood stock still "Yes Minnie told me of this before she died," I murmured. My father sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair. "So many times I nearly sold her; one day I came in to tell her to pack her things and saw you being held so tenderly by her that I found I was incapable of it."

He went on, "You used to call her momma when you thought there were no ears to hear you," he fell silent and his eyes were shadowed "I heard you though, but I kept it from your mother and sat you down and explained that you were white and she was a negro and that there was no way she could ever be your mother, oh how you cried."

Eric came in so gracefully behind my father that my heart thundered in my chest. "Edmund how good of you to come," he said in a hearty manner slapping my father about his back.

Father coughed "Yes well Minnie has been in our family for ages and she was dear to Sookie," but I got the sense that there was something more to his coming than the stated reasons. My sire all these years had deeply resented Minnie on many levels. And this was closure for him.

We sat down in a pew and said nothing and I noticed that my father was wearing a shabby suit and I knew that there was some message here as well. It was his way of tipping his nose up at the proceedings. Eric on the other hand was dressed resplendently in a black brocaded jacket and crisp white shirt with a black cravat and fitted trousers of a matching shade with high boots polished to a high gloss.

The room begin to fill with slaves and Matilda came in a gown of turquoise velvet with lace at the collar and cuffs. And once again I was ashamed of my initial response to her ugliness. And when she began to sing "Amazing Grace" I knew that the only beauty that truly matters is inner, what comes from the soul and not transitory flesh.

I stood and made my way to the pew and I shivered before the ebony eyes of my husband's property, those that he took so great care of. I cleared my throat and tried to think of something to say. "Minnie was strong, like me, she made me what I am today," I looked to the ceiling "And if there is indeed a God let him take her into his embrace." With that I walked from the room and watched from the mouth of the room as two slaves and my father and Eric carried the coffin from the room out to the waiting carriage.

I didn't get in and decided to walk in the rain. It felt appropriate that it should be so gloomy, so beautiful on this day. If it had been sunny on this day it would have left a sour taste in my soul.

Eric was behind me I realized. He came abreast of me and his hand found mine. Slowly we walked uncaring that our hair and faces were being misted and finally we came to a mawing hole and the black coach and black stallions that had drawn it here. Matilda was here as well and when I threw the first clod of dirt on the coffin she sang "Swing low Sweet Chariot" and it was touching. I resisted the urge to cry. I would show no weakness before these people I knew not.

Then it was done and I was all alone. Until a touch came on my cheek and I saw my husband watching me softly. "It is finished," he said leaning in to kiss me. I dipped my flesh to his lips and we got into the carriage and the slaves followed behind singing hymns in the pouring rain. Lighting flashed and thunder boomed and below the earth my youthful heart was rotting from my sight.