35. 14 Hours

On a certain level, Haymitch understood.

Going to the Justice Building and back had been torture despite the moment of uncontainable pride when he had signed the papers and had been handed April's birth certificate. It had taken a long time for the woman behind the desk to print it and he had been anxious to go back home, to make sure his girls were alright…

Having April out of his sight for so long… Yeah, it was a source of anxiety and he got it, Effie was nervous about being parted from the baby. But…

A cup of coffee was placed in front of him on the kitchen table.

"It's okay." Peeta said quietly, sitting down on the chair next to him. "I understand."

"Good for you 'cause I don't." Haymitch scoffed.

When he had come back, the children had been in the bedroom with Effie and April and everything had seemed to be going well. Effie was relaxed, the baby was asleep in her arms… They had been having a nice moment, Haymitch thought, quiet conversations and a few jokes… The moment Katniss had leaned in a bit too close to settle the debate of whose nose the baby had, Effie had started freaking out, recoiling away from the girl as if in fright, her eyes a bit on the glassy side. It had woken April up and she had started wailing.

She hadn't stopped since.

They had tried changing her, they had tried feeding her… Eating had seemed to calm her down for a while but she didn't feed for long and it didn't seem to sate her. She settled for about half an hour every time and then started crying again.

Effie kept repeating she was hungry as if she had a superpower but he hadn't missed the wincing becoming more and more pronounced as the hours grew late. And the more agitated April became, the less comfortable Effie was with having people around. So far, she only kept the baby away from the children – and if Katniss was impassible about it, Peeta had looked hurt every time – but… He had tried to take her out of Effie's arm – so she could get some proper rest – and Effie had moved back, as if to put April out of reach.

She had immediately looked at him with a horrified expression and had profusely apologized but it had been too late.

Haymitch had walked out of the bedroom in a daze. And he couldn't claim he wasn't grateful for the kids having decided they would camp in his kitchen.

He glanced at the clock, trying to figure out how long it would be until Larcher showed up again.

"I think…" the boy hesitated. "I'm not sure she's very aware of what she's doing at the moment."

Haymitch glanced at the kid, alarmed. Had he missed anything? Because he knew Effie's symptoms like the back of his hand. If she was about to have a panic attack, he usually knew before it happened. If she was having a flashback or if something had triggered her, he figured it out early on. And right then…

"She's lucid." he frowned.

"She must be in some pain." Peeta replied in a hurried whisper because they heard Katniss coming back from the living-room.

And pain was one of Effie's triggers.

He had asked her if she was doing alright and she had said yes… He didn't think she was in enough pain right now for her memories to be triggered but she had faltered right after the birth… Maybe the boy was right. Maybe it would pass and he was worrying over nothing.

Still, he propped a hand on the table to stand up, swallowing the cup of coffee in two big gulps. He didn't want to leave her alone with the baby too long. All the more so given that April's cries were echoing around the house.

Snowball darted between his legs as he reached the first floor but almost run him down on the way back well before he even reached the bedroom. He stepped inside in time to see the dog jump on the bed and drop his purple monkey next to Effie, nudging it in the direction of the wailing baby in her arms with his nose.

Effie was silently crying and she looked up at Haymitch with so much distress he cursed himself for sulking so long downstairs.

"What's wrong?" he asked, immediately striding to the bed.

It was plain to see what was wrong. She was shaking a little and he was ready to bet she was exhausted. He didn't really give her a choice when he scooped the shrimp up. She didn't protest and he pretended he wasn't relieved by that. He rocked April gently if a bit awkwardly still, not quite sure what to do. He sniffed her but she didn't look like she needed to be changed.

"I think she is hungry." Effie whispered. "But…" Her sentence ended in a sob and she squeeezed her breasts in her hands. "I cannot… I do not think I am working as I should, Haymitch. I do not think she has her full. And it hurts."

He took that in stride, torn between his need to comfort her and his new instinct not to let go of his crying baby.

"Okay." he said calmly. "Larcher will be by soon so… There's no need to get worked up for now, alright, sweetheart?"

She was still crying but she nodded and he wondered how exhausted she really was under the brave attitude. She opened her arms. "Can I have her back?"

He had barely been holding her for two minutes.

He compromised by sitting next to her on the bed, pushing the purple monkey damp with drool off the sheets. Snowball didn't look very happy about that.

"It's nice of you but that's not what she needs." he snorted. The puppy gave a sharp yelp of rebuke and jumped off to drag his monkey to the corner of the room. "Now, sweetheart…" he chided his daughter in a soft voice. "Stop crying, you're upsetting your mama."

It wasn't a magic spell and the baby kept on crying. Effie leaned against his side and buried her face in his shoulder, not even trying to stop her sobbing.

It was a great situation to be in.

He wrapped an arm around Effie, bringing her closer to his chest, next to April. She nestled against him, wrapping her hand around the tiny foot that was unhappily kicking the air.

"Hush, little baby don't you cry…" he hummed. "Papa's gonna sing you a lullaby. Hush, little baby don't say a word, Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird…" He kept on singing softly, probably very off key, but it seemed to calm both of them down. Effie was fast asleep by the second time he sang the lullaby, April wasn't sleeping but she had calmed down enough that he carefully wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Not having the best first day, right, my little shrimp?"

There was a knock on the door. April started wailing again, Effie startled awake and Haymitch glared a little at the doctor who kept interrupting everyone's rest.

"Sorry." the man winced.

"Not at all." Effie immediately countered, waving him in. "We have a problem."

Haymitch sat there and listened as she explained herself, grateful for Larcher's calm and attentive demeanor.

"I think you are jumping to conclusions, Effie." the doctor told her gently once she was done. "It's been less than a day, it's impossible to tell for now. You are exhausted and you need rest."

"My daughter needs me." she growled, placing a protective hand on the baby Haymitch was still holding. From the corner of the room, Snowball growled in echo, clearly picking up on Effie's behavior.

"Down." he snapped at the dog – mainly because he couldn't snap at Effie that way. "You need to calm down too, Effie. Look what you're doing to Snowball, maybe you're doing the same to her. You're a ball of nerves."

"Are you saying my presence is upsetting our child?" she hissed.

"I'm saying take a nap and maybe you'll think more clearly." he retorted.

They glared at each other until Larcher cleared his throat.

"I would like to examine Effie now." he said. "And I will take a look at the baby after that."

"Okay." Haymitch agreed at once, almost relieved to get out of bed, April protectively cradled against his shoulder.

"Be careful of her head." Effie warned.

"Yeah, thanks, I've been doing it all night and I managed just fine." he spat. "Or what? I'm not allowed to carry her now?"

A flash of anger passed on her face but then she remembered how she had recoiled earlier and she winced. "I am sorry."

She sounded sincere enough that he sighed. Everyone's nerves were frayed. It took some effort but he forced himself to take a deep breath. "It's fine."

He carried April to her nursery. She hadn't had many chances to be in the room yet aside from when she had needed a change. He liked what they had done with the place. It was peaceful. He came to stand at the window, grabbing a soft stuffed elephant from a shelf and teasing her with it.

She was too little to know what to do naturally but she still stopped crying eventually, after he had playfully nudged her with the elephant enough times, making ridiculous noises that probably didn't sound at all like an actual elephant.

"Mama's just a little tired." he told her seriously, watching as her tiny hand closed on the elephant's trunk. She didn't have enough strength to do much more but it still made him smile. He put the stuffed toy aside and brushed her little palm with his index, smiling wider when her fingers closed around it. "It's gonna be better than this, you'll see." The soft padding of paws alerted him and he looked down to find Snowball sitting at his feet, looking up at them. "Seems like you've got yourself a guardian, shrimp."

He loved the little noises she made.

He was in awe of her.

He had spent half the night watching her, committing her features to memory, but he didn't think he would ever get tired of looking at her. She was so beautiful, so perfect…

"Haymitch?" Larcher called from the threshold.

"How's she?" he asked quietly, not to disturb the baby.

"Asleep." the doctor said. "Her body needs the rest. Physically, she should be recovered in a day or two."

"Physically." he repeated flatly, dropping his eyes to their daughter.

"I find her… unsettled." the man tactfully answered. "But given what she went through in the past… Her behavior isn't that surprising."

"She won't let anyone touch the kid." he scowled. "Not sure she even wants me to…"

"Please, understand it's not an indication of her feelings…" Larcher cut him off. "New mothers are often overprotective and Effie…"

"I know." he sighed, keeping his gaze on April. Effie had been through too much. He had too. He really got it. But it was still… "I'm not exactly jumping at the idea of letting anyone hold her either."

The thought was disturbing. But the kids were the kids and he didn't see the wrong in letting Peeta carry her for a minute. The boy hadn't had an episode in months and he had been so eager about welcoming the baby… The kids were family and he might have been paranoid but not to the point of forgetting that if there was anyone he could trust with his life – and his daughter's life – it was the rest of his family.

"I honestly believe it will fade." the doctor offered. "In a few days, she will feel less… raw."

He wasn't sure about that but he nodded all the same. "And about the other thing? The breastfeeding? That's in her head or…?"

Larcher pursed his lips in thought and asked if he could take a look at the baby. Haymitch shuffled his weight from one foot to the other before settling her down on the changing table, protectively hovering behind the doctor's shoulder as he examined her. There was a matter of pot and kettle to be pointed out there, he figured, but the man was nice enough not to say anything.

He asked how many times April had fed and how many times Haymitch had changed her, he weighed and measured her…

"It's hard to tell for now, we will know for sure in a few days." the doctor eventually concluded. "Effie's lactation does seem to be a little difficult." Haymitch tried not to make a face at that word but Larcher didn't notice, his full attention on April. "I'm hoping that it will improve but with her medical history… She was underweight at the beginning of her pregnancy and she still doesn't quite eat as much as I would like."

"She put on some weight." he countered. "You said she was doing better."

"She is." the doctor granted. "But it's hard to counteract years of deficiencies – I have a feeling she wasn't exactly eating properly before either."

"She was always on some shitty diet." he admitted, quickly growing defensive. "She never made herself throw up or some shit like that, though. She did sports and stuff… She was slim not skinny. She's always been healthy."

"But she was an escort, and a model before that if I am not mistaken, and that required her to watch her figure." Larcher pointed out. "I am not judging her, Haymitch, I'm simply stating facts."

"Yeah." Haymitch grumbled, making sure April's romper was correctly buttoned before lifting her up. Having her in his arms soothed his annoyance. "So what does it mean? For April? She's hungry?"

Because that couldn't happen.

No child of his would be left to starve.

No child of his would ever be hungry.

"For now, I don't think so." the doctor answered. "You weren't wrong earlier. Babies pick up on tension and Effie was really close to having a nervous breakdown… She worked herself up over the breastfeeding."

"Okay." he said, relieved. "So, April's good?"

"We will monitor her." Larcher said. "Weight her and measure her every day. We need to make sure she has enough. If it turns out Effie doesn't lactate enough to sustain her we will think about adding formula bottles but that comes with its own set of problems and I'd like it better if we could stick to the breastfeeding."

"What kind of problems?" he asked. He needed to know all the options. He needed to make sure they took the best decisions for the baby because…

"Nothing too serious for April." the doctor sighed. "But for Effie… Most women who don't produce enough milk blame themselves for it, they feel like they're failing their child."

"Capitols don't breastfeed." he opposed, not quite sure why. "Maybe she won't mind."

But that was a long shot and he knew she would. She wanted the full experience. She didn't want to do anything like her mother had done.

Larcher didn't look any more convinced than he was. "We will cross that bridge when and if we come to it. Try not to worry about it. You have a very healthy little girl."

Not worrying about it was asking him a little too much but he nodded gratefully at the doctor and walked him back to the front door – escorted all the way by a dog who took his guarding duty a little too seriously.

The kids were still in the kitchen, making some sort of soup.

"We thought you might be hungry." Katniss shrugged, her eyes trailing to the baby in his arms. "How's Effie?"

There was real worry there and he instinctively schooled his features into detachment. "She'll be fine, sweetheart. She just needs some rest." April had fallen asleep sometimes between leaving the nursery and reaching the front door. He awkwardly gestured to the boy. "Care to take her off my hands for a minute?"

Peeta jumped at the chance and suffered Haymitch's fussing with good humor. It was only once he was certain the boy was supporting her head the right way that he let go of his daughter. It didn't stop him from hovering for a moment, suddenly feeling a terrifying urge to snatch his child back. Peeta didn't seem to mind though, he rocked the baby gently, looking half in love with her as it was.

Haymitch hadn't been expecting the flash and he blinked, startled.

Katniss grinned a shitty grin, shrugging her innocence as she put the camera down. He scowled at her but she shrugged again. He felt as if more pictures had been taken in the last hours than in his whole life – Effie's orders, apparently, April's first few days had to be documented.

Once certain the baby wouldn't wake up and wasn't in immediate danger of being dropped – Peeta was far too careful for that but Haymitch still insisted he had to sit down – he snatched a bowl of soup and swallowed it down, his eyes never straying from the boy and his daughter. Snowball had dropped at the kid's feet and Katniss eventually peered over Peeta's shoulder, slowly spooning her own soup.

"She's cute." the girl offered.

"She's beautiful." Haymitch scoffed haughtily. The kids exchanged an amused look. "Oh, fuck off."

The ringing of the phone covered their laughter but it also had the unfortunate effect of waking April up. Clearly, she didn't like loud noises.

"Shit." he spat just as he picked up, about to tell Peeta to hand her over.

"That is certainly not the proper way to answer the phone, Haymitch." a cold disapproving voice declared and he made a face.

"Elindra." he winced, looking at the kids for help. There was none to be found. Katniss was scowling in distaste at the very mention of the name. There was a pointed cough at the other end of the line and he rolled his eyes, wondering if the woman was his cosmic punishment for everything he had done wrong in his life. "Mother." he amended through clenched teeth.

"Is that my granddaughter I hear crying?" she asked. "Why is she crying? How is she? What does she look like? Peeta's description was brief and imprecise – very surprising for an artist – I require more details. Would you be a dear and send pictures? Oh, by the way, I sent a package this morning, it should be delivered in the next couple of days. It should keep you afloat until you can procure more girl clothes."

He wondered if April was going to inherit that gift for talking without pauses.

He imagined her at three, a blond chatterbox with bright blue eyes, and he found he couldn't quite mind it.

Peeta had the situation under control, it seemed. Between his ridiculous baby talk and Katniss waving her fingers above his shoulder to get April's attention, she had settled down. He let himself relax a little.

"She's perfect." he answered when she paused to take a breath, knowing there wouldn't be another chance if she started talking again. "She looks like Effie. She's got her eyes. Can't say about hair color yet, she doesn't have many… She's got her nose too."

"Oh, very good. Do not take it the wrong way but yours isn't an appendage that would look good on a girl and knowing you like I do you would object to plastic surgery." Elindra sighed.

"April doesn't need any plastic surgery crap." he growled. His eyes found his daughter again and he softened. That was what she had done to him, that girl… She had made him soft. And in less than a day too. "She's perfect."

"April?" Elindra repeated.

"April Iris Abernathy." he confirmed. "That's her name."

There was a short silence and then a somehow vexed huff. "Wasn't Iris your mother's name?"

"Yeah." he said, a warning in his voice. "So what?"

"Nothing, nothing." she dismissed in a tone that implied there was something. "Your choice, I presume?"

"Well, yeah." he snorted.

"And Effie made no suggestion to add a third middle name?" she insisted.

He was distracted by the way Katniss was using her hands like puppets, having clearly taken confidence in her baby distracting skills.

"No." he frowned, not really following.

"No matter." she replied quickly, a cheer in her voice. "April… It is a lovely name. A bit simple, of course, but… Lovely all the same. I cannot wait to see her."

"Thought you'd already be on a train, to be honest." he mocked and then immediately bit down on his own tongue. Did that sound like an invitation? He so hadn't meant it like that.

"Well, I would." Elindra lamented with a sigh. "However, there is this charity event for Tadius' company… I must see to it, you understand? Besides, Tadius and Lyssa seem to think you would both prefer to have a few days to yourself to get used to the situation. I told them that we would certainly not be an encumbrance and that we might be able to help, naturally, but they were adamant. And I really do need to plan this event…" Her voice faltered a little. "You will make sure Euphemia understands, won't you? It is not that I do not want to come immediately… I really would rather come to Twelve to meet my new granddaughter…"

"It's fine." he offered, realizing she was scared Effie would hold it against her. "Probably better this way. Effie's had it rough."

"She is alright, isn't she?" she asked. "Peeta claimed it went well. I still think giving birth at home was an unnecessary folly but the boy did say…"

"She's doing well." he cut her off. "She's just… tired."

"I can imagine, yes." she commented. "I thought… We might try to come at the end of next week. Would that be suitable?"

"Sure." he agreed, not really happy with that but also resolved to having to deal with the Trinkets for the rest of his life. He had honestly thought Elindra would show up in the following days, he figured a week and a half of respite wasn't a bad deal. "Not sure you can stay here, though."

"It is of no consequence, the inn was surprisingly pleasant for such a rustic establishment." she replied. "It will do. I am so impatient to see her… Please, send me pictures as soon as you can."

"Yeah. Will do." He would send the boy to the post office the next day and be done with that. April had fallen back asleep and Peeta was tossing Katniss a look that the girl was steadily ignoring, giving her bowl of soup her whole attention.

"And you are positive Effie is alright, yes?" Elindra insisted one last time. He hesitated long enough for the woman to obviously purse her lips at the other end of the country, her voice hardening. "Haymitch?"

He really didn't want her jumping on a train right now.

And he would never have believed that it was something Elindra Trinket would do a year before but things were different now and he really, really didn't want to risk it.

"It's fine." he grumbled. "She's fine. It's just… She might not… Maybe she doesn't have enough…" He struggled with how to actually word that. Effie wasn't a cow and he didn't want to make her sound like one. "It's possible breastfeeding won't be enough for the kid." Both Peeta and Katniss looked up at him since it was news to them. He made a face, pretty sure Effie wouldn't like it when she found out this particular problem was now public knowledge. He cleared his throat. "I'm just not sure how she's gonna take it if… I guess we're all just tired."

"There is nothing wrong with formula." Elindra replied without missing a beat, apparently untroubled by that piece of news.

"Yeah, but…" He let out a sigh. "I'm not sure she's gonna see it that way, that's all."

What was he telling her that for? Elindra didn't really know Effie, not like he did anyway…

Except it was Elindra who had helped her get past Clay's death, a treacherous voice murmured at the back of his mind. He was pretty sure if it hadn't been for her mother, Effie would have happily remained trapped upstairs for a lot longer – assuming they had managed to convince her to come down at all.

"I see." she stated. "Well… There is no use losing oneself in conjectures. When you know for certain if you need formula, do let me know. I am fairly certain I can find better brands in the Capitol than you can in your District. I will have a few boxes shipped. Only the best will do for our little April."

He relaxed a little. There wasn't a lot he liked in the Capitol but he couldn't deny that they had better stuff. Twelve was evolving but there would never be the same choices and opportunities as there now were in the biggest districts or in the city. "Thanks."

"You are welcome." she hummed. "Well, I must dash. I will call again tomorrow, shall I? Perhaps Effie will be in better shape and can come to the phone."

They exchanged goodbyes and he placed the phone back in its cradle with a huff. "That woman's crazy." He carefully stole April from Peeta's arms. "Let's hope you don't become as crazy as your Grandma 'cause your mother came close already."

"Effie has problems feeding her?" Katniss asked, straight to the point. "She was looking forward to that."

The she won't like it was left unsaid.

"I know." he said. "We'll see, yeah? Might be nothing. Finish your soup."

Katniss rolled her eyes. "Yes, Dad."

"We're going with Papa and you should really leave sarcasm to me, sweetheart." he smirked, watching the sleeping baby.

"She's so going to have you wrapped around her finger." Peeta teased.

He grumbled about it but no statement had ever been truer and they all knew it.

It wasn't really late when the kids called it a night but the last two days had been eventful. He didn't begrudge them their right to some peace and quiet.

Haymitch wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. Eventually, he settled April in her – blue, which probably meant it would need to be changed – bassinet in the living-room and grabbed his book. He couldn't focus though. Every two seconds, he glanced at the baby to make sure she was alright and still breathing.

It was almost a relief when she woke up and started crying.

She calmed down when he picked her up, her tiny lips smacking open and close… He figured she was hungry and so he carried her back upstairs, grateful that she was mostly quiet. Effie was still deeply asleep, curled up under the comforter, hugging his pillow close to her chest.

He placed April down in her crib – which she really didn't like if the agitated wriggling and the tears were any indication – and crouched next to the bed to brush his knuckles along Effie's shoulder. She whined in protest and curled up further.

"Hey, sweetheart…" he whispered softly. "I think the shrimp's hungry."

"Feed her." she grumbled, more asleep than awake.

"Yeah, I'm kind of lacking in the tits department." he snorted. He ran his fingers through her hair, pushing her blond curls away from her face. "Come on, wake up, Princess."

"Haymitch?" she slurred, slowly opening her eyes. "Why am I leaking?"

"Leaking?" he repeated, confused. She sat up suddenly, wrinkling her nose, holding her nightgown away from her. It was slightly wet on her chest and he made a face of his own. "That's the crying, yeah?"

She slipped it over her head with a disgusted expression and handed the soiled fabric to him. He exchanged the nightgown for the baby. He took the opportunity of dropping it in the hamper to make full use of the bathroom. Taking a shower went a long way in helping him to relax.

He hadn't expected to find Effie walking around when he got out, though.

She hadn't gone far, she was just standing next to the dresser, having just stolen one of his shirt. April was back in her crib under the vigilant watch of their dog.

Effie followed his eyes and smiled. "He is cute."

He wasn't about to admit that the overgrown puppy was cute so he dropped a kiss on her shoulder instead. "You should be in bed."

"You are obsessed with keeping me in bed." she teased but her playfulness soon vanished. She looked down at her bare toes. "I truly am sorry about earlier. I never meant to imply I do not trust you with her, I just… I cannot really explain it. I am sorry though."

He nudged her chin up. "It's fine but…"

"I will work on it." she nodded. "I was atrocious with the children. I really do not know… I cannot control myself, I just… I just want her to be safe."

Her tone was almost pleading. He sighed and leaned in to kiss her.

"We're gonna be alright." he muttered against her lips. "We're gonna adjust."

"Promise?" she whispered.

"Yeah." he said firmly.

They didn't have a choice anyway.

Problems, problems, always more problems! What did you think? How is hayffie doing with their baby? Let me know your thoughts!