Okay.. so this is kind of the last chapter. Kind of. There'll be a 2-3 chapter epilogue type thing but that'll be about the future so, this is where the main story ends. Sorry... but i think 30+ chapters is pretty good going! (And possibly crazy).
The epilogue chapters will be uploaded before the end of the week so i won't make you wait too long for those and i'll save my final thanks for then.
In the meantime, thanks for any reads/reviews so far! Hope the ending is satisfying and worth everyone's time!
Only a few hours have passed since her daughter's arrival into the world but Santana can't get enough off her already.
She's infatuated.
While she was pregnant there was this small, panicked voice in the back of head that worried about postnatal depression. She almost predicted that for some reason, she'd experience some kind of resilience or detachment from the baby, that she'd lack the range of emotion and affection most women are comfortable offering. After all, she'd never really cared much for kids before she got involved with Finn.
But as it happens, she's already an overprotective, obsessive and utterly captivated mother and it's been less than a few hours...
The two new parents just sit together and watch her – completely fascinated by every twitch, gurgle and yawn.
Carole holds her for the first time and instantly bursts into tears, which of course sets Santana off again – Hudsons are human onions she swears!
Burt and Kurt shyly shuffle their way in at some point too and Kurt agrees with Santana's earlier comment about Lily being a genuinely perfect baby...
The two and a half Hummels take turns holding the baby for the first time and by the time she lands in Burt's arms, Santana starts to get a little edgy. No one's doing anything wrong it's just, well, she wants her back.
Everyone in the room is having a good time talking, joking and admiring the baby but Santana's completely oblivious to it, anxiously biting on her thumb as she stares at her baby in Burt's arms in the chair across the room. Carole starts taking pictures and while Kurt and Burt are busy posing, she takes the opportunity for mission 'retrieve baby without offending any Hummels'.
Tugging at the shirt on Finn's arm she pulls him closer and discretely but forcibly enough mutters her discontentment.
"Finn I want her back."
"What?" he asks lightly, leaning in closer towards her.
"Get her back, I want her back."
He looks over at Lily and then back to his clearly discomforted girlfriend, before softening his brow and stroking the top of her head sympathetically with a smile.
"Honey, she's okay, she's like 3 feet away."
"Well it's 3 feet too many! …Please?"
She looks up at him with seriously pleading eyes and it works as he begins nodding and kisses her cheek. She knows it's crazy but surely she's entitled to be a little crazy right now – she did just give birth.
Finn's face contorts into his confused/gassy infant look as his mind starts forming a plan. But Santana's never been good at waiting so she gives him a little nudge, which makes him stumble and catch everyone's attention.
"Uh…. Burt. I need the bathroom. Want to come with me?"
The room goes silent and Santana does a mental face-palm. I mean really? That's the best tactic he could come up with?
Burt's face goes kind of blank.
"What?"
As Finn repeats his question the awkwardness of it seems to sink in.
He perseveres anyway.
"Will you come with me to the bathroom?"
The room goes silent again and even Carole looks a little disturbed at her son.
This is way too tragic and doesn't help her mission in the slightest, so she intervenes with sudden fake laughter.
"Ignore him Burt! He's just making fun of me because I haven't been able to get to the bathroom without him."
Finn looks at her with confusion before clueing in and deciding to play along.
"Haha yeah. She's so clingy it's hilarious. I mean, come on San, are you in your twenties or your twos?"
He laughs a little too hard and Burt's confusion turns to hard disapproval.
"Geez Finn, the woman just had a baby. Give her a break."
Finn stops laughing when Carole smacks him on the arm.
…"Sorry."
The mission can officially be deemed a disaster. But luckily she's in the room with a miracle woman.
"Well speaking of giving you a break, I think it's time we left to let you get some rest my dear. Burt, give her back."
Santana sits up readily, barely able to conceal her relief.
"But... I haven't shown the kid any of my magic tricks yet."
Carole pays no attention to Burt's grumble and just bossily ushers him out of the chair.
"Well you can show her one right now by disappearing and letting her mother have some rest."
He walks over to the bed with a smile and Santana's discomfort finally disperses as her daughter is placed back in her arms.
"Okay. But tomorrow I'm coming back with my magical A-game."
"Move." Quips Kurt. "Move hospitals."
Burt gives his son a playful push before extending his hand for Finn to shake.
"Well, congratulations you two. You created one heck of a beautiful kid."
Santana smiles.
"Thank you Burt. And thank you already on behalf of Lily. She's lucky that you guys are her grandparents."
It's kind of mushy but she means it. And she's so happy to have her baby back she's not really thinking about expectations or appearances.
Kurt exaggeratedly clears his throat for recognition.
"A-hem."
"And her Uncle."
"Uncle." He repeats with a smile. "I still can't believe I'm an Uncle. Congratulations you guys." He adds, leaning in to hug her. "I'm really looking forward to seeing how you both handle this. Oh, and I'll send you my new catalogue for my baby line. Just because they're small, chubby and wrinkly doesn't mean they can't dress fabulously!"
He gives Finn a brotherly hug on his way out the room and Carole takes her turn to hug Santana.
"Well done honey. I can't tell you how proud I am. Of all three of you. Now get some sleep. Trust me, you're going to need it to keep up with this perfect little tyke."
Finn beams at his mother as she makes her way over to him and pulls him in for a hug.
"Thanks mom."
"Congratulations sweetie. Call me if you need anything and if not I'll call you tomorrow when I've lost the will power to stay away any longer!"
Carole enters the doorway with one final wave but Santana can't bite her tongue any longer and meekly calls out to her.
"Carole?… Thank you. For everything. You've been more than amazing throughout this whole thing and I don't know what I would've done without you… If I do a good job raising Lily, it'll be because of your inspiration."
The room goes quiet as her honest and kind words are absorbed, until Carole gives a loud sniff and makes her way back to Santana's bedside, clearly choked up.
"Oh damn it Santana. You're setting me off again. I should be thanking you for giving me my first beautiful grandchild! And for taking care of this one." She adds nodding towards Finn before pulling her in for another hug. "You're already like a daughter to me. I can't wait for him to finally get his butt in gear and make an honest woman out of you so that we can make it official. Let me know if you need anything okay. Anything. Now rest!"
It turns out that Carole is actually some kind of 21st century Jedi. Because as soon as she leaves, despite Santana's determination to stay awake and dote over Lily, resting is exactly what she ends up doing..
She wakes up to the sight of Finn sat facing her on a chair at the end of her bedside with Lily safely tucked up against his chest in his arms. It's probably the most adorable sight on the planet because the size difference is just hilarious. She sits up in the bed a little, crinkling her nose as she adjusts to being awake.
"See I told you." Finn fake-whispers to the baby. "You get it from your mother."
"Get what from her mother?" Santana asks through a slight yawn.
"This."
His face starts scrunching as he begins exaggeratedly mimicking her nose crinkling habit.
He starts laughing when she can no longer contain a smile.
"Lily does the exact same thing it's uncanny."
"Shut up."
The baby starts stirring a little in Finn's arms and then lets out an ear-piercing howl without warning. Santana winces with pride – if that's even possible.
"Looks like she's as impressed with her father as I am."
"Maybe she just doesn't like it when we argue."
"Well if that's the case she's going to blow her lungs out very quickly."
The howl evolves into a full out screaming fit and soon Finn's pacing the room, bouncing his discontented newborn up and down like a lunatic, his face falling with every minute that passes.
"Why is she still screaming? I'm doing it right, right? Maybe she's afraid of heights or something."
He decides that's the cause of her discomfort but when he sits back down in his chair and she still doesn't let up, it's clear his daughter does not in fact suffer from vertigo. Santana's not surprised. She is however, itching to get her hands on her baby. Finn's not doing anything wrong, she just has withdrawal symptoms again. But really not wanting to dampen Finn's self-esteem (which she knows she will if she says anything), she bites her tongue and patiently watches him try to deal with the situation.
Thankfully a nurse enters the room and suggests that maybe it's dinner time, so she gets her bundle of joy back without Finn feeling undermined – win-win.
As Santana clutches her to her chest the baby immediately starts simmering down and Finn quips a despaired eyebrow.
"Really Lily… What does she have that I don't?"
Santana smirks.
"She's not old enough to fully comprehend the long list of answers to that question… But in this present context the answer you're looking for is… boobs."
After her first breast-feeding experience – which was beyond weird - the baby settles back into contentment and so too do her parents.
Finn squeezes himself on the bed so he can hold Santana in his arms as she holds their baby in hers and they just sit like that for a while, taking in the moment. When he finally speaks it's in a gentle and soft lull.
"By the way, Puck and Brittney came to visit while you were asleep. They both agreed she's completely gorgeous and takes after you. Puck did a speech from the Godfather and Britt took a million pictures so we've probably got more shots of her finger covering the lens to add collection! She was worried about you… I told her you were fine and you'd call her when you were awake and up to it."
A soft murmur of understanding escapes her lips but if she's honest she wasn't paying all that much attention as her focus has pretty much been on Lily since she was born. The hand on the arm that Finn's had stretched around her has been playing with Lily's foot since they started sitting like this, but he moves it away and up to Santana's shoulder where his fingertips start mindlessly circling in gentle motions.
"So… I've been thinking."
Now he gets her attention and she stiffens slightly in anticipation of what's coming.
Whenever he says those words it means he's about to bring up something serious, and given what Carole said earlier about making an honest woman out of her, she can give a specific guess to what this time's topic will be.
"You know I now have living proof that I'm going to love you forever right?"
She turns her head slightly so she can see him and he rests his jawline to her lower temple as he continues speaking.
"I just, want you to know that I'll never forget this day. And everything you went through these past 9 months. I don't know how guys ever repay women for this… If they ever can… I'm not sure even a lifetime supply of shoes would even cut it."
She laughs softly. She knows he's not finished so it may be too soon to joke and relax but that's kind of what she does.
…"A lifetime supply of shoes wouldn't hurt!"
He chuckles and pulls her closer to him.
"I know this is all kind of crazy but us, as a family. It's gonna work. I promise."
She doesn't know what else to say to that, so she just kisses him. Slow and sweet.
A knock on the door interrupts them, and when she sees it's her parents, she thanks her lucky stars she's already in a hospital, because she nearly dies of shock.
So apparently Finn called them from her cell while she was asleep to inform them that their grandchild had been born.
She's surprised but kind of grateful that at least she didn't have to do it. The fact that they've actually shown up to see her is an entirely different level of surprise.
It's weird that this is their first time meeting Finn. Instead of just, hey mom this is my boyfriend Finn, it's hey mom this is my boyfriend Finn who I just bought a house with and this is the baby we just had.
But they get along fine and her mom and dad seem genuinely proud and happy with Lily. Still, it's kind of a lot for Santana to take in.
It's nice, and they're nice and the fact that they came is nice, but there's something missing. There's no connection or atmosphere that even remotely resembles when the Hudson-Hummels were here. Everything's just kind of hollow and it's complicated and difficult to decipher why and why her relationship with her family is like this. Essentially it's just years of built up angst and crossed wires that everyone just kind of gave up on fixing...
Their visit is short lived but they take pictures and leave a card and a teddy bear and it's all pleasant enough that she expects they'll play at least a small part in Lily's life...
In truth she's grateful they showed up. She didn't need them to but it's nice that they cared and she's glad they got to get acquainted with Finn and Lily.
The real gain from their visit however, is that it as soon as they leave a determination sparks up inside her to ensure that the hollowness between her family won't ever exist between Lily and hers.
Sitting in her hospital room tucked into Finn's chest with Lily asleep in her arms she has everything she could want in life.
In that moment she makes a silent promise that she'll never give up on her daughter and no matter how crazy the three of them seem as a family, they'll always make it work, just as Finn had bluntly put it less than an hour earlier...
"Hey Finnocence...?"
He rolls his eyes upon hearing the dreaded nickname before ducking his head to look at her.
"You're right... Our family's going to work."
He smiles and bows his head so he can softly kiss their daughter's nose before sitting back up to give Santana the same treatment.
"I love you Santana."
She doesn't even hesitate.
"I love you too."
For all they'd been through it was now the three of them together.
Taking the jump together.
And for perhaps the first time in her life she feels fearless.
There's literally nothing for her to worry about.
Because she has Finn.
And they have Lily.
And being able to feel a love that absolute, makes everything worth jumping for.