With the Doctor sedated, Jack slipped out of the autopsy room heading up the stairs. He was surprised to see that the hub was empty except for Ianto sitting at the rift computer. He was drinking a cup of coffee as he worked on a report but he looked up at Jack and smiled upon seeing him. Jack smiled back. He still needed to finish his talk with the young Welshman and now was the perfect time to do it. There was one other thing he had to do first. Making his way around the computer he headed up the stairs to the conference room. Upon entering it, however, he found that the room was now a make-shift nursery for the two little girls who were staying with them. Gwen had to have help because the conference table was pushed against the far wall and the couch had been made up with colorful blankets. A cot sat against the wall beside the couch and a new rug was spread out on the floor. Toys were scattered across the rug along with blocks. What he didn't see, though, was the four people he was looking for.
"Where's Gwen?" Jack asked Ianto as he exited what once was his conference room.
"In the kitchen," Ianto answered. Jack sighed. Going down one set of stairs, he climbed the next. Inside the kitchen, Gwen sat at the table with Ajessa on her lap. Martha sat across from her and Cerys sat between them. All four were dining on plates of bangers and mash covered in a thick gravy. Jack felt his stomach growl as he looked at the food.
"There is still some on the stove if you're that hungry," Martha laughed. Jack went to the cupboard, grabbing a plate.
"I would appreciate it if you didn't sedate the Doctor unless absolutely necessary. It caused his hallucinations to become worse again," Jack told her as he made a mound of potatoes on his plate.
"I have him on medicine to help with his hallucinations but it is going to take time to get to a therapeutic level in order to be effective. So, I considered my options before sedating him, Jack. I settled on the sedative because I was worried about taking the girls from him again so soon after his last episode. His arms were unrestrained and I didn't want to end up with a scalpel against my throat again," Martha explained to Jack. Jack took a hand full of bangers and threw them on the plate before covering everything in gravy.
"I could have restrained him if he became violent," Jack informed her. He took a seat at the table. He was no longer as hungry due to their conversation except he knew he would regret it if he didn't eat. His body processed calories quickly due to the autron energy that kept him alive and it was possible for him to starve to death in a matter of days.
"Only if he didn't stop you first, and before you lie to me don't think I didn't hear him threaten you," Martha responded. She looked at Cerys watching the child eat for a moment. It was obvious that Cerys wasn't paying attention as she happily stabbed at a piece of sausage before bringing the fork to her mouth upside.
"He didn't mean it. He was just angry because we were taking his children again when he wanted to spend time with them," Jack informed her.
"You can't know that for sure," Martha argued.
"I can because while he was hallucinating he said that he cared for me and I believe him," Jack ran his hands through his hair leaving his elbows resting on the table as he held his head for a moment. It didn't matter how much he cared for the Doctor, he was in a relationship with Ianto. The Time Lord would always have a piece of his heart, though, and his heart would never truly feel whole until that piece was returned in the form of the Doctor's love.
"I think he cares for all of his companions in his own way," Martha responded. Jack sighed. She was right. The Doctor had never returned his love or even his affection. He had practically thrown himself at the Time Lord but the man only ever had eyes for Rose. Now he was pregnant, scared and mentally damaged from choosing to remain with the Master. Jack had no right to demand more from him and doing so would only be taking advantage of the Doctor in his weakened state. What he needed to do was push his feelings aside and care for the Doctor until he was on his feet again.
"After I finish eating, I am going to go finish my talk with Ianto. Would you please let me know when the Doctor wakes up?" Jack questioned picking up his fork again.
"Of course," Martha answered. The rest of the meal was relatively quiet beyond the basic small talk that Gwen tried to make and the babbling noises Ajessa made. Ajessa more than made up for how quiet Cerys was by making noise constantly. None of her noises made any sense except for the occasional "Da" or "Pa." Still, she babbled and no amount of gentle shushing would get her to stop.
Finishing his meal, Jack placed his plate in the sink before heading out to find Ianto. He was still sitting at the rift computer but now had his feet up on the desk as he leaned back in the chair. There was a book in his hand and he slowly turned the pages. Jack came up behind him dropping a kiss on the top of his head. While he was there he gave a quick glance to the monitors. The Doctor was sleeping soundly still due to the sedative which was fine by Jack. Pulling Ianto his feet, he thought of everything that they needed to talk about. His mixed feelings for the Doctor, Cerys being his daughter, the fact that he wanted to marry the Welshman but wasn't sure how their relationship would work while he tried to be a part of his daughter's life. But as he Looked in Ianto's blue eyes, he couldn't do it. Instead, he pressed his lips against Ianto's kissing him deeply.
From there Jack wasn't quite sure how they made it up the stairs to his office and then down the ladder to his bedroom. He took pleasure in the young man's body memorizing every whimper and moan that he made. He kissed along his back listening to the soft whispers of his name. Even as his body moved with Ianto's, he felt tears prickling the sides of his eyes. A part of him knew that this would be one of the last times they made love but he didn't want it to end. He never wanted to lose the Welshman who had stolen his heart except the universe didn't work that way. His time with anyone would only ever be a blink of an eye during his long life and he tried to cherish every moment that he had with him.
He couldn't let Ianto see the tears. His young lover deserved more than that. Wiping his eyes then pulled out of the willing body. Ianto didn't question as he was flipped onto his back and he stared up at Jack, kissing him deeply as their bodies were joined once more. He poured his love into his movements making sure that Ianto knew how much he cared about him. Ianto wrapped his arms around his back holding him close to his body as together they found their releases. Jack left himself buried in the clenching body resting his head on Ianto's chest and listening to his pounding heart. Ianto held him close to his body. He had to feel the tears that were once more falling from Jack's eyes but he didn't say anything. Finally, he could hide no longer. Feeling their bodies separate he fell to the side. Ianto stood, dressing slowly. Jack looked over to see the pain in his eyes and he hated himself for causing it.
"Ianto," Jack whispered pulling himself to sit against the headboard.
"Just tell me why. What did I do wrong?" Ianto questioned.
"You did nothing wrong. I meant what I said earlier today that I still love you and don't want this to end," Jack told him. He lifted his arm, hoping that Ianto would join him again but the young man continued to stand. Taking a deep breath Jack began to talk. He told Ianto everything he knew about what happened between him and the Doctor on the Valiant and how it had resulted in the child. He continued letting him know his confusion about how he felt about the Doctor and the fact that he was a father again. He wanted to be a part of Cerys' life yet he wasn't sure that he could. He even told Ianto that he wanted to marry him but now things had become complicated due to the Doctor's return. Finally going quiet he waited anxiously for Ianto to speak.
"Ianto, tell me what I should do," Jack begged him softly. He had always trusted the man's advice. Now with how lost he felt, he wanted that advice more than ever. Ianto just shook his head.
"I need time to think," Ianto replied standing up and heading to the ladder.
"I understand. Take all the time that you need. I'll be here when you are ready," Jack responded. He watched until Ianto disappeared before hitting the wall above the headboard. Screaming in anger he punched it, again and again, ignoring the pain in his hand as well as his bleeding knuckles. The pain in his hand didn't make him feel any better and he fell to his side holding his bruised broken hand against his chest. Any time now he would be summoned back to the Time Lord's side and the Doctor couldn't see him in this much pain. He had to be strong for everyone else and the only one who he had allowed to see his weak side was now heading to his own flat. Grabbing his gun out of the nightstand, Jack headed to the shower.