Chapter 34
"Come now, let us not be busy with talking to anymore of his fellows. I am angry and I fear that I cannot control my temper. I'll not speak to another of them today." Celestia says, once we meet her on the other side of the doors.
"Was it wise to say something so cruel?" Luna asks her, as confused and mortified as I am.
"Cruel? How was I cruel? It was he and his friends who threatened your life, he and his who would take away from you more than you deserve. It was he and his who were cruel, he and his who have stuck their noses where they ought not to be." Celestia's wrath is evident as she lapses into old speak.
"But he reveres you, sister. He had already made a pact with you; you need not have threatened him with …banishment."
"I know it wasn't necessary, but I am upset…I thought I could get over it, but it seems my rage at their actions is far from gone from me." Celestia's face is hard with a near grimace, but I cannot tell unless I look; the lines are almost imaginary.
"So it would appear." I say. Her actions are strange. "And I believe you've struck a tender sore with your treasured sibling."
"What meaning have you-" Celestia turns on me, her voice nearly hissing again, but seeing me beside Luna, and thinking through everything, realizes her mistake. "I-I'm sorry. I forgot for a moment- I was- I…"
"It is.. of no importance. I was stricken for a moment. It is not… important." Luna says uncertainly.
"No, your emotions are important, and I wasn't watching what I was saying." Celestia's eyes curl up like a candy wrapper folded in half. She was so angry, so upset that she let her control go and said whatever came to mind.
"But you should not have to. I was surprised at your reaction, and that was all. You need not apologize." Luna says apologetically. She smiles as though it was her wrong that she is trying to right.
"If you insist." Celestia says awkwardly. I can see she'd rather apologize than let it go, but she'd rather not fight about who should or shouldn't. "I'll let you be on your way. I believe it's time to raise the moon, and then I expect you'll be working after that…so, I bid you farewell." Celestia says, as formally as she can, but I can see she feels awful.
"Luna, maybe you could let her?" I ask the awkward question.
"It's not her fault, she need not say sorry." Luna looks at me, bewildered.
"She thinks so. Why not just let her?" This is ridiculous, but I think it would be best for both sisters to do this. There's more that Celestia wants to apologize for than a few misspoken words.
"Well, you did speak improperly to me. I do believe I feel insulted." Luna rolls her eyes and speaks too loudly, on purpose.
"Oh, Luna! I'm so sorry! You know I didn't mean it!" Celestia says, hurling herself back at Luna and I.
"Yes Celestia. I know you did not mean it. Do you feel better?"
"Much. I'm sorry I'm such a child. Sometimes I forget that those days are behind us, and I just want to tell you everything I've felt for such a long time, but I know you'd rather not talk about that." Celestia has tears in her eyes.
"I…" Luna says awkwardly. "Well, you can tell me in increments. Just…do not spill it all upon me at once. I can barely handle my own emotions, let alone the full brunt of yours as well." Luna compromises her interests and her sister's.
"Thank you." Celestia says, rising up from her hunched, sorry position.
"Do not. We should speak with each other openly, yes?"
"Yes! Then I will let you carry on your duties for the night, and we will speak later."
"Agreed. Have a nice night, sister. I hope your rest is well." Celestia nods in reply to Luna, and walks on her way, with much more happiness in her steps. "She has become very complex."
"I think a thousand years alone has done that to her. If I remember, she wasn't as emotional before. Being alone has done this to her, but she's not alone anymore."
"Yes, she has me, and you, and Alexander. We all will be there for her, yes?"
"If we can." I smile at her. "Let's go raise the moon, and get down to business."
"Yes." Luna decides not to walk, but to fly, and I follow her up the staircases. It's hard to maneuver through the tight stairwell, but with my agility, I manage. We take no detours, we head straight to the room where I've seen her raise the moon before. I remember something Alexander said, and something Luna said.
"Hey, Luna?" I say as we fly.
"Yes?"
"You said that this room, the one we're going to, is where you've always raised or set the sun and moon and stuff. But Alexander said that this castle is a replica of the one in Ponyville, so that can't possibly be true."
"Well, the altar is the same from the original castle, but the room itself is indeed new. However, it is still the place in both castles that we did our daily duties; the location has not changed the place within the castle that we did this. So, relatively speaking, we are still performing our sacred duties in the same room in the castle; it is merely a different castle."
"Okay, so the place has changed, but the place within the place hasn't?"
"In a manner of speaking, I suppose. I feel that you have only made it more confusing by saying it that way."
"I suppose you're right. How odd it is that words can make full sense in one way, and no sense when rearranged in another."
"Or when a word is repeated it begins to sound alien, or words in an accent sound like completely separate words."
"Yes! Stirrupeans have that accent, like every word is heavy in their mouth! And zonies speak in rhyme and in the back of their throats."
"Speaking of Stirrup, are we on good terms with them?"
"You know, we haven't been fighting as much. What little arguments we have now are about stupid things. But they severed from Equestria, if that's what you mean. They are forever more an independent country."
"Well, at least it was solved peacefully." Luna pauses in her speech, her flight seeming to falter a moment. "It was solved peacefully, yes?"
"I do not think there was any violence, but I remember hearing that the princess was mad when she received the letter declaring them free. I think she was just hurt that they had gone so far as to cut us off, but she allowed it. I do not think she wanted another war."
"When did they break away?"
"About three hundred years ago. The year was about 1230 a.d., then."
"How strange. It took 700 years for them to cut off." Luna says inquisitively. "Any reason it took so long?"
"The Alicorn wars. Both Equestria and Stirrup fought in the war, although it was confusing as to who was on what side. For a long time after, resources were shared between us, to recuperate. It wasn't until later that we started having problems again. I'm not wholly sure what caused the new outburst, but it was important enough that Stirrupeans decided to break away. And even then it took two hundred years for them to be pushed to that brink. Both sides were stubborn, I guess, and each were so unwilling to give and take that they just decided to give up entirely."
"What a shame. When it was our colony, we prospered." Regret sounds in her voice.
"We have an alliance now. Well, it is a trade agreement, but we've not had a war with them since it began, and inter-communication is being allowed between citizens of each country. They call it 'pen pal', because you write letters to somepony over there, and they will write back."
"An interesting system. You shall have to tell me more of it later. For now, we have business to attend." Luna says as we arrive at the grand room. I walk through the circle room, thinking about how not five days ago I'd been standing here, and yet I have not seen this room for a whole lunar cycle and another half. I gaze back at Luna, as she performs the mighty deed. I think about how amazing it is that she controls the moon, an enormous object, each night. As she finishes, I want to ask her about the stars, but remember that we have business.
"I can feel your curiosity, Knights. Since you answered my questions here, I will answer your questions on the way to the library." Luna says smugly. Sometimes I forget that our connection is two way. She is slightly out of breath, but I can only notice if I study her closely.
"I was wondering about the stars. You have control of them too, yes?"
"Yes." Luna begins to walk from the room, and I follow her.
"Then why is it you only move the moon each night, and not the stars? How do the constellations come into play?" At the word 'constellation' Luna scoffs.
"The constellations are not by my design, nor my mothers. The constellations are invented pictures attached to stars in the sky, although my mother recognized them and kept them in place. Mortal ponies made them with their imaginations. My mother liked the idea, and adopted it, and so kept those specific stars locked in relative positions to each other. I do move the stars, but very slowly, and they have a sort of system they work off. They are seasonal; this was the first way that ponies could tell the coming and going of seasons before they actually took place. For the most part, they move on their own, rotating slowly about the earth, and I need only give them a nudge here and there. Similarly with comets; they too move on their own paths about the earth, but in longer stranger cycles." Luna says, walking steadily and breathing properly now.
"Then why the moon?" I am curious. Much of this seems to be familiar; perhaps we had this conversation once before?
"The moon is too large and too close to earth to be allowed to move on its own. Though my calculations state that it would likely stay in place for a very long time, it would eventually fall, and there would be much destruction at hoof. The same is true with the sun. It is a hot object, and must be farther away, but to keep the illusion that it is the same size of the moon, it is a little bigger. Still, if left alone with no supervision, it would collide with the earth, and destroy all that there is."
"Wow. It's quite amazing to think of how much I do not remember. We've had this conversation before, I believe."
"I do recall it now, though for me as well the memory is indistinct." Luna's face is puzzled.
"Let us not waste time this night on things that have past; let us instead do new things to remember always." I take to the air, and begin flying down the hallways. "First we must attend to your business, and then we will go for a proper flight!"
"And you will learn all that I know of the ways of clouds and thunder and lightning and the rain." Luna says as she catches up to me. I let her take the lead, and fall in behind her. She deftly leads us to the library, where her things are waiting. I suspect she magicked them here from a distance, so as not to waste time gathering supplies. I am not surprised.
"I will sit here, and do what I need. Go; you had things you wished to search for." I nod and let her get down to work. I go to the historical section of the library, and begin to search for anything pertaining to our original time, a thousand years ago.
Two short hours later…
I have found literally nothing pertaining to our past. There is folklore, mythology, anthropologies, poems, epics, ballads, recipes, and I even found a few gown designs, but I have found nothing of importance and historical fact that pertains to me or Luna or even that general time. How Mary even found those books on the Alicorn wars I'll never know. I asked a librarian for help, but she couldn't find anything either! How aggravating this is! I stomp my hoof again. If I ever remember all that I can from my original life, I am writing all of it down so that nopony has to go through this horrible goose chase again!
Calm down. It's just as well; it feels as though Luna is finished, or nearly. I begin to walk back to her and as I do so I try to calm down. It is of no use to be angry, and if I let my emotions run off without me, I might do something I should not. I have learned all too well that I am not a pony that ought to be letting his emotions drag him around. Especially anger. That is the strongest negative emotion, and it is also the one that brings out the feral side of me. Anger and protection are the two driving components of going feral, and I refuse to let anger get the better of me.
I learned that focusing on protection is better than letting anger take over. I am stronger in protection-feral than I am when I am normal, and that side of feral is good enough for me. I cannot think of a worthy opponent of anger-feral, for it is much stronger than protection-feral. I wonder if I shouldn't begin to study this more in depth. I'm sure I could learn more about this if I did. As I ponder the possibilities, I arrive at Luna's desk. She's tidying the desk up, using her magic. I can see that she's been using this spell for a while, because she has fatigue written across her face. Was she writing with the pen with a levitation spell the whole time?
I don't think that she'd be tired from a single quill-levitation for two hours. A quill is light and she herself said she could hold a spell for several hours now, with much heavier objects. Perhaps she's been using her magic for more than I'd suspected?
"Fair Luna, why have you become so tired? Have you not rested enough as of late?" I say, using old speak. I like the way it sounds, more poetic and intelligent. And more like Luna.
"Why, you've discovered my deepest secret; I've not been sleeping as well as I would like. Tis true, I am most ashamed of this truth, and have thus decided to keep it from you." Luna says sarcastically. She's noticed my use of language, and decided to keep it running, although she usually has that sound about her anyway. She puts her pen down and looks at me.
"You jest." I say defensively.
"And you do not? You wish to tell me that it is fair that you poke your fun at me, but not I mine at you? Hardly fair do I consider this." Luna says coyly.
"Yet you smile brilliantly at the thought. I fear you take this too lightly, fairest Luna." I raise an eyebrow.
The running joke ends when we hear a giggle and a squeal from somewhere behind us. I suddenly realize how closely we've leaned towards each other over the desk and I leap away, falling backwards. Luna similarly pulls away, but without the awkward falling over. I had not realized we were getting so physically close to each other and I fear it wasn't proper. I feel my face turn bright red with embarrassment.
"I believe I am finished with this night's work. Let us…ahem… be on our way." Luna gets up and stiffly walks toward the exit. I stiffly follow her. We both walk stiffly for a long silent time.
"I did not mean to start-"
"I was unaware that-"
We both begin to speak, and our words get tangled in each other. I clench my lips shut awkwardly. My face is probably unworldly red right now. I hope that I was not improper or embarrassing to her. I would hate to damage her reputation somehow, or make her feel uncomfortable. I know a lot has changed since we were together last, and even if we used to talk to each other like that, it probably isn't proper of us to do it now, and I hope she isn't mad at me.
"I am sorry, Knights. I did not mean to be so…open. If you are offended, I am deeply sorry."
"Me? Offended? Oh no! No, no, I am in no way offended. I am sorry if I offended you!"
"I am not offended at all. I thought that I'd done something improper, and I did not know how you felt."
"I thought the same. I do not know where we stand anymore….it makes it hard to gauge what is proper and what is not." I scuffle my right forehoof awkwardly.
"I understand that feeling completely." Luna says. Then there is silence. Neither of us know where to go from here.
"How about we take a window?" I say, and magick a window open. Without waiting I hop out and hover there. Luna awkwardly follows and I shut the window again.