So close and yet so far... Coming close to the end of the year and I'm still not done!
I said stop flaming ok! I bet you are all probably old seventy year olds! ps PORTERSUZ YOU'RE A PREP! Oh ya and thanks too raven for the help! Have fun in England girl!
AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111(As soon as you stop writing.) I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!(With fair skin, a great body, perfect... Yeah.) 111 ps PORTERSUZ UR A PREP!1(Is she talking about someone? Does someone really have that awesome name! ... Of course it's not as awesome as mine... Don't. Say. A. Thing.) o ya nd fangz 2 raven 4 di help!111 hav fun in englond gurl!11111(Since someone told me something, I won't be naming any names but it's someone who seems to love reviewing, I hope that Raven and everyone else she thanks for helping drowns.)
I loked around in a depresed (Happy.)way. Suddenly I (Jumped up and down for no reason and then trough myself from the top floor. No one missed me!)saw Profesor Sinister. B"lody Mary, Socrates and Draco, Vampire and Willow were their to.(Congratulations.)
"OMFG Sorius I (DIED!)saw u nd Samaro and Snip nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev Snap uzd 2 b goffik!(He hasn't even stoped being gothic. You're just confusing "goffic" for gothic.)111111"
"Yah I no." Serious said sadly.(Why are you sad? If you lost a friendship, you lost it! No point in worrying abour the past.)
"Oh hey there bitch." Profesor Trevolry said in an emo (I suddenly really want an emu. I just had the thought and thought you guys would like to know... Obviously, I was wrong.)voice dirnking some Volxemortserom.(Stop drinking that shit! It's better if you just become addicted to alcohol or crystal meth. At least with that you have an excuse in acting like a dumbass.)
Hi fuker." I said.(Hi bitch!) "Lizzen, Satan asked me out to a gottik cornet(Wha zat? A "cornet"? Is it part of a net for fishing? Or for volleyball? Soccer?) and a movie so I need a sexah(Well, I'm glad to say that you will never be sexy in your life. I have spoken! My word is law.) new outfit for da date.(Why do you need a new outfit? Can't you just grab some random thing from the closet like you've been doing all along?) Also I"m playng in a gothic band(No you ain't. It's impossible. You won't be playing anything. All you're doing is singning and breaking every window in the word at the same time.) so I need an ootfit for that too."(Why waste the money? Wait... You want two outfits! Bullshit! You don't need it.)
"Oh my (Lord? God? Jesus? Moron? Devil? Cunt? Bitch? Sanity? Finger? Toe? Head? Love? Hate? Am I CLOSE!?)satan!1"(I must have missed it...) (geddit lolz koz shes gofik(No, she's just being a little stupid.)) gasped B"lody Mary(For the people who forgot: This is Hermione's stupid name...). "Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?"(No. I don't want this. I knew I was getting into something really bad but I never thought commenting on this thing would drain me! ... It's just like a vampire! It's the vampire of literature! Quick! Run!)
"OMFS, letz have a (Party? Orgasm? Dog? Am I close?)groop kutting session!11"(Does she want a cutting session? Or a knitting session? Maybe they're cutting while knitting?) said Profesor Trevolry.
"I can"t fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first." said Willow.(I can't believe it! A willow tree is talking! WOW!)
"Yah we need sum portions for Profesor Trevolry so she wont be adikted 2 Volxemortserum anymore nd also...sum luv potion 4 Enoby." Darko said resultantly.(Why the hell do they need love potions. All she has to do is walk by the kid and it seems to work. Maybe she bathes in it? Food for thoughts.)
"Well we have potions klass now." Willow said (Isn't that convenient).so let"s go.
We went sexily(Why can't Maudite/Moron just say "We walked". END OF STORY!) to Potionz class. But Snap wasn"t there.(I'm gonna regret this but... Why wasn't he there?) Instead there was...Cornelio Fuck!11111(*Giggling like a little school girl* Well, she sure f*cked that one over, didn't she?)
"Hey where the fuck is (Cornelio? McGoogle? Snap?)Dumblydore!111" Draco shouted angrily.(Shouldn't he be asking for Snape?)
"STFU!1" shooted Cornelia (Transgender teacher. She/He changes his/her name at every moment that he/she can.)Fuck. "He is in (Detention? Inception? Reception? Deception? ... I just felt like rhyming something... You may continue.)Azkhabian now wif Snip and Loopin he is (A pervert? A ninja? A veterinarian? A Clock? ... Did I get it?)old and week he has (A crabbe? A dog? A cat? A llama? A cow? A goat? I'm guessing here! C'mon! Give me the answer!)kancer.(Damn.) "Now do ur (Selves!)work!111"
My (B*tches!)friendz and I talked arngrily.(I don't believe it!)
"Can you BELEVE (No I don't!)Snap used to be (A cook! A workaholic! A policeman!)gottik!1" Vampire asked surprisedly.
"DATZ IT!11" CORNELIO (Back to being a guy.)FUK (She missed the "c" in his name... AND WHAT IS WITH MAUDITE/MORON USING ALL CAPS!?)SHOOTED ARNGRILY. "IM GETTING PROFESOR (There are professors in the school? I thought they were all big kids!)BRIDGE!111"
He (She! It!)stomped out angrily.
Mi frendz and I began (To fuck!)talking (What? Are you serious! I pick the one thing that they usually do and now they don't do it! So unfair!) again. I began to drink some blod mixed wif beer.(In class!? Are you crazy!) Suddenly I saw (Something out of nothing and I learned something from that something.)Hargrid in da cupboard.(How the heck did he fit in a CUPBOARD!? ... They propbably used shrink wrap, where you listen to rap and your brain shrinks! ... Sorry if you actually like rap. I don't mind it but I could live without it... Shut up, it's my opinion!)
"WTF is he doing?" I asked(Good question.). Then I looked at Draco.(What are you looking at Draco for!? Unless you want him to LIFT Hagrid out of the cupboard and into a teacup... Have fun!) He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier (Why? Why do you do this to me? Do you hate me or is it just because you want my brain to die! Maudite/Moron was doing fine in this paragraph until this single sentence showed up!)den eva. Suddenly..."HARGRIF WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11" he shooted(HE SHOT HAGRID! HOW COULD HE!).
I looked around(And folowed the trail of blood all the way toooooo)...Hairgrid wuz (Dying.)putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11 Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily.(How do you beat someone up in a sexy way? Maybe people should do a study in this... Can someone beat someone else sexily? And they get a whole bunch of people beating each other up... Wait... I think they've already done this in a movie... Now, I haven't watched "Fight Club" yet but for everyone who has... What do you think? Can you beat someone up in a sexy way? Answer in a review.)
"God u r such a posr!1" (And you're such a b*tch! So there.) I shooted at Hairgrid.(It's a grid with hair! Bevery careful 'cuz you never know when it might decide to attack.) Suddenly I (DIED!)looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was...(Crap all.)Amnesia Portion!111(Ooooh. Be careful with that.)
(It's my turn! About time!)
I started to think a little and thought "Hey! It's not like it'll kill me and it's a really bad thing to waste blood!" And I drank it!
Hagrid started giggling for no apparent reason and I couldn't stop myself from asking what he was laughing about. He told me that it wasn't Amnesia Potion. When I asked what it was he wouldn't tell me. And that's when I started to cough up blood.
Just as I was coughing up the last of my blood professor Snape came in and stabbed me.
"And that's how I died." I looked up at Saint Peter, wondering why he hasn't let me in yet. He was looking at me in a peculiar way, his right eye was twitching and he had some weird type of smile on his face.
"God and Jesus had a conference with death, fate and Satan. Apparently no one wants you and Mother Earth has had enough with you so God just decided that he would erase the memory of you ever existing. And if you don't understand that, it means that you are dead. Permanently."
And at those final words... Ebony/Enoby/Eboby/Whatever she's called... just faded into inexistence.
(Wouldn't that be nice.)