Saturday Morning

Callie

I have one of the Moms with me all the time, keeping a close eye on me. I know that I can't get anything to cut with, not with them looking at me so closely. It's my week to clean the living room, as I pretend to dust I think about what I can do to distract Stef, whose turn it is currently to watch me.

I am saved by the twins arguing loudly upstairs, it ends with slamming of doors which is a Stef hot button. I don't think she even thinks about it before is running up the stairs taking two at a time to go remind them of the rules!

I look around quickly trying to find something that I can use to take the pain away, if I have to. I know I promised Jude not to mess this up but, the pain has built throughout the morning. I am trying my best not to but… I pull open the table drawer; rifling thru it is nothing but just paper junk. I've got to find something before Stef comes back down. I move on to checking the other table's drawer, but it's just more of the same junk. I've got to find something, anything!

I hear Stef coming back down the stairs, from playing Referee. I quickly close the drawer and start "dusting" again. I work through getting my chores done, trying my best to ignore the Monster who is spinning thoughts in my head. When I am done with the putting up the vacuum in the front closet, I notice that Lena is changing the laundry from the washer to the dryer and not paying attention to me. I start through the kitchen, and almost make it to the back door. I stop dead in my tracks when I hear…

"Callie, please grab that basket for Momma, and I will get the other one." Stef says as she raises an eyebrow at me, she gets up from the dining room table, where she had started to work on her paperwork.

Dam it, I wanted to go sit by my tree, and try to get my head straight. Jude had whispered to me when we were on the couch before Lena woke up. He whispered that he is worried, that I was scaring him. I assured him I was better and that I wouldn't mess this up.

I must have zoned out because Stef takes my shoulders and turns me, guiding us to the laundry room. Where a smiling Lena gladly hands us each a basket of clothes "Awwee Sweets look what Momma has for us, what I've always wanted to do with my Saturday morning" Stef says returning Lena's smile. "I wouldn't want you both to miss the fun of folding clothes with me" Lena says knowing that Stef is trying to be funny. "But of course my Love" Stef says as she grabs a basket following me out of the laundry room. I can't help but smirk all the way up to their room, at the interaction between the two.

"What are you laughing at?" Stef asks me, when she drops the laundry basket on her foot.

"You" I don't even try to hide my smile but try my best not to laugh out loud at the funny faces she made.

"Don't you know that there is no laughing at your Mom?" Stef says in mock seriousness as she pokes at my side

"I don't think that is a rule" I laughing say, trying to get away from her poking fingers.

"I will give you something to laugh at" Stef says as her pokes turn into tickles.

I break away crawling over the bed, popping up beside Lena. Stef starts to follow me across the bed until Lena says "Stef this is why the kids don't help us with the laundry, they are afraid you will attack them"

Stef sighs "This isn't finished Missy" to which I stick my tongue out at her while Lena isn't looking. Stef smirks at me and points at me but can't do anything else because Lena is now looking at her to get busy helping her fold the clothes.

When we get finish folding the clothes we drop them off into the correct rooms to be put up. I make sure I get Jude's clothes to take to him. I walk in his room, giving him a reassuring smile when he looks up at me from his bed. Sitting his clothes on next to him, I give him a kiss to his temple and ruffle his hair. I hate when he worries and am happy when he loses his Old Man face and returns my smile giving me a hug.

After I am sure that Jude is ok, I go to my room and put away clothes. When I look down at my bed I remember, I had to pull my soaked sheets when I had woken up from a nightmare that had had me back in His bedroom.

"What a baby, you wetting your bed like a three year old, over someone who is dead. No wonder Jude wants the Moms to adopt him, he knows you can't take care of him, you can't even take care of yourself…Baby!Baby!" The Monster sings in my head

I try to ignore the Monster, I want the Moms to adopt us. They love me and Jude, we haven't been in this good of a home since Mommy died. Terry had loved me and had accepted Jude but John didn't really like me taking Terry's attention away from him when he was home. But with the Moms they wanted both of us, I could see it in their eyes and feel it in their touch.

"Do you really think that they want you? Even if they do Bill isn't going to let them."The Monster spins in my head

"Sweets, get ready it's almost time to leave" I hear Lena say as she pokes her head into my room checking in on me

"Only crazy people go see the Shrink this much" The Monster spins "Dr. Kodema is on your treatment team, Bill is going to use her to make you go away".

"What's wrong?" Lena asks walking into the room.

I remind myself it's just in my head, and that I told Jude I was better. I try to put a better face on "Nothing"

"I can tell something is wrong" Lena says softly "What is it?"

"I don't want to go" I mumble

"They are going to take you to Dr. K's so that she can say you are crazy, you know Bill has gotten to her too. She is going to give him ammo so that Tues the Assholes can vote to make you go to Crazyville" The Monster spins in my head

"I know you don't, but you need to" Lena says "We need you to get ready"

"Crazyville here you come" The Monster will not shut up "You are nothing but a Crazy Trouble maker Lair, no worries Bill is going to take care of it".

"NO! I don't want to go" I insist trying to make her understand. I must have raised my voice too loud because Stef comes into the room. "What is the problem?" she asks Lena but is looking at me.

"She doesn't want to get ready" Lena starts to explain but I interrupt her "I DON'T WANT TO GO!"

"Easy Callie, Please watch your tone" Stef reminds me.

"Yeah Easy, make it easy for Bill to get rid of you" The Monster spins "They only want Jude anyway, you haven't ruined him yet"

"I DON'T WANT TO BE EASY, I DON'T WANT TO GO!" I yell at them as I use Lena to block Stef from getting me, I run out of the door. I hear them call after me but I don't care anymore and keep running down the stairs. I quickly decide that I can't go through the front door; it would take too long to unlock the locks on the doors, so I head though the kitchen bumping into a surprised Marianna but maintaining my balance and keep running. Thankfully Jude had to take the trash out after breakfast and didn't even think about locking the back door again. I can hear Stef and Lena gaining on me but are slowed down by helping a crying Marianna up off the floor where I left her.

Shit, I can't go through gate it's locked so I don't even slow down when I change direction deciding that I have no choice but to climb my tree. I don't slow down as I jump up, reaching and grab the lowest branch, throwing my legs up. I don't stop climbing until I run out of a big enough branches to grab a hold of taking a seat. Trying to get my breath, I hide behind the tree trunk. I look down and am surprised that Stef is standing on a branch about three branches below me.

"That's far enough Callie" Stef says as she looks up at me but doesn't make a move to climb any further. "Just breathe" she says taking a seat on a branch. I glance at her to see how mad she is at me; I can't believe I just ran away from them and of all places to end up, in top of a tree, well almost to the top. No matter I don't have anywhere else to go, without having to go through Stef which by the look on her face there is no way she is going to let me out of her sight anytime soon. I might be grounded forever if she has her way. I try not to let her know that I am trying to gauge my options.

"Callie Girl, you ok?" Stef asks in a concern voice, I slowly shake my head. Maybe I had read her wrong she seems more concerned than mad. She looks around and starts swinging her feet. "You know I use to love to climb the tree in our back yard. I use to sit there for hours, something about being up above everything."

Nodding my head I quietly say "It's the quiet" glancing at her she nods at me. We sit there for several minutes I keep thinking she is going to try to make me get down but she just seems to relax into sitting there with me. "It makes the Monster be quiet" I mumble

When she looks up at me I realize she was listening to me and understands that I couldn't make the Monster shut up and got confused. Which makes me relax; it helps me slow down my breathing and my thoughts.

"Better?" She asks with a raised eyebrow, when she notices that my breathing as gotten back to normal. I nod my head, knowing that I shouldn't have run. I feel bad that I knocked Marianna down on my way out and didn't stop to see if she was ok.

"Do you think you can show me how to get down from here?" She asks I know she knows how to get down but I can't help myself from nodding my head that I would help her. She stands up and waits for me to start climbing down before she continues.

My feet are not on the ground before Lena wraps her arms around me swing me around before putting me down. She pulls me out of the hug, lifting my chin up until I am forced to look her in the eyes. She has a very serious face "You are not to do that ever again, you can't take off like that" Lena says it in a quiet voice and her eyes show she is mad.

I know I need to stand here and take the beating I am about to get but something makes me start backing up from her. But I bump into Stef who has moved to block me from getting to far from them. I feel Stef's arms come around my waist placing me in a loose hug "It's ok Love, we don't hit remember? It's not ok to run from us, and definitely not ok scare your Momma, by climbing to the top of a tree to hang out."

"I'm sorry" I mumble as I glance back up at Lena, who is intently looking at me but is not showing her angry eyes at me anymore. "I didn't mean to scare you"

She starts walking us back into the house, I think we are going to stop at the breakfast nook but when I start to stop and sit down. Stef moves us forward, and out the door to the car.

I don't even know I am crying until I notice the tears are running down my cheeks. Stef must have felt me getting upset because she tightens her hug on me, making me loosen my fist. I have tried to ignore the pain by digging my finger nails into my palms.

When we get settled into the back seat of the car "Sweets why don't you want to go see Dr. K?" Stef asks quietly as we wait on Lena to come out of the house. I shrug my shoulders I don't want her to think I am in crazier then she must already think I am.

She lifts my chin up but I can't open my eyes to look at her. "Ok, I know that the Monster is making your thoughts be jumbled. But know this that Momma and I love you very, very much and always well no matter what." I nod my head as I lay my head on her shoulder, for some reason I am so tired. "But you can't run from us, we are a team now. You don't have to fight alone any more you have Momma and Me now, I know things are scary and confusing to you but we do it together Yes?" I nod my head "Words please"

"Yes" I mumble

"Yes, Together" Stef says, I get the hint and repeat "Yes, Together"

"I need you to tell the Monster that when he starts to tell you nonsense" Stef says "And tomorrow we are going to start you running with me, you are quick Little one" She says smiling at me.

Lena gets into drive, she reaches back and hands me one of Stef's clean hoodies. When I put it on I feel around and she has put Max in the pocket. I look up surprised to find Lena is looking at me and returning my smile. "I thought you might want him" I nod my head, squeezing him. He felt good in my hand, it help to ignore the pressure that was building.

"He doesn't want to go" I mumble

"Why doesn't he want to go to Dr.K's?" Lena asks in her Momma voice

I glance up at Lena who is waiting on my to answer, before I know it a blurt out "Because Dr. K is going to make me leave"

"Leave?" Stef asks me. "No she wants you to stay with us…Together, one team" I shrug my shoulder.

Lena says softly "We are not going to leave you anywhere"

"But Bill…" I start but can't get the rest out because I can't get my breath. My chest feels like it's in a vice grip that's being squeezed real hard. The dark spots in my eyes are getting bigger and bigger.

Happy Holidays to All

Thank you, Lacorra for the edits I couldn't do this without you