New Meanings To Old Words: Love

I first have to say WOW on all the new readers and reviewers. Wow, and welcome to the crazy people. I can't thank you all enough, new and old, for all the love that you guys send me. You are my bread and butter, and keep a smile on my face even through the rough days. THANK YOU!

This chapter was a tough one. I second guessed EVERYTHING I put on the page here…so I really hope it's not total shit. That said…I suppose, if you were the labelin' sort, you could call this a bit of fluff… if you were the labelin' sort that is. :)

As always read, review and most of all enjoy!

~michelle

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except Callie and the crew of misfits (Danny, Miles, Jenna, Mike, Nina, Ben and Gracie).

Vignette –Distance

The sun is filling up the room

And I can hear you dreaming

Do you feel the way I do right now?

I wish we would just give up

'Cause the best part is falling

Call it anything but love

"I told you it was fuckin' cute," Miles muttered from his position beside Callie in the doorway of the dimly lit room. Idly Callie nodded her head, a smile tipping the corner of her lips at the sight she found it hard to tear her gaze away from.

Cute was a bit of an understatement. Cute was when she'd stumbled upon the half-slumped form of Miles settled on the floor beside the closed door to Daryl's room. His head bobbing up and down as he tried to keep himself from falling asleep fully. Cute was the sleepy dazed look on the kid's face when he'd looked up at her and rubbed at the back of his head. Cute was the sheepish look he'd shot her as he slipped up to his feet.

What she was looking at now. Well, it was just fucking adorable.

Daryl was still settled on his right side his back to the door, though now he'd shifted so that he was closer to being on his back. A pillow, placed most likely by Hershel or Patricia when they'd checked on him last, had been set at his back to make sure he didn't push all the way over or roll too much. His right arm was tucked under the pillow that was shoved to his head, while his left arm lay limply over his wounded side.

Settled upon that pillow at Daryl's back, was Ben, his sandy-blonde hair in total disarray over his head. The boy was curled on his side, his back barely settled against the small of Daryl's back. He had rolled a bit so that he was almost on his stomach, his left arm dangling off the bed. Threaded between his dangling fingers were the laces of Daryl's boots, which he'd apparently been dragging around with him all day.

Callie slipped a bit further around the bed. There she was; the other bit of the fucking adorable she'd been warned about.

Tucked up right under Daryl's stubble-covered chin was Gracie's little head of golden-brown curls. She was facing Daryl, as she tended to do with Callie when she slept as well, her little body curled in but not too close as if she'd just snuggled into him after he'd fallen asleep first. Which if Callie were a betting woman, she'd put her money on in a heartbeat. Gracie's little cheek was awkwardly pressed into Daryl's bare chest, both of their breaths bouncing one curl back and forth over the girl's slightly parted lips. And as if that wasn't cute enough, Gracie had somehow worked her hand little hand around the pinky and ring finger on Daryl's limp left hand and held those fingers tight even in her state of deep slumber.

"I was gonna grab the camera," Miles said stifling a yawn as he rubbed at the back of his head with his broken hand. He sent a sheepish sort of smile to Callie's lifted humored brow and then shrugged. "Then I figured he'd probably been through enough today."

"Big of you," Callie said shifting her attention back to the fucking adorable scene settled before her.

"You want me to grab Ben, and you can-"

"Not sleepin'," Ben's slightly groggy voice whispered out, muffled slightly by his shoulder shoved up close to his lips. Both Callie and Miles looked at the boy, watching his eyes peek open slowly to stare up at them. Callie smiled, knowing the boy had been awake. Ben had a distinct way of sleeping, a spread-eagle formation that had been the bane of Danny's existence since he'd started to share a tent with the boy months and months ago. She shook her head and slowly worked her way around to the other side of the bed to grab up Gracie.

"You want me to take those for you, Ben?" Miles said getting down on his haunches and tapping the boy's hand. Ben curled his fingers tighter around the laces and shook his head lightly, and Miles smiled as he pushed up to his feet.

Callie smiled over at Miles before sliding her hands down to Gracie. Her fingers skimmed slowly over Daryl's arm and then down to where Gracie had tightly grasped Daryl's fingers. Callie watched Daryl's face as she slowly began to peel the girl's fingers away, knowing the man was a light sleeper, but he didn't twitch more than a bit. Once free his fingers seemed to try and reach out to the girl's for a single moment before they unfurled and slipped down to the bed. As slowly as she could Callie shifted Gracie away, chuckling a bit at the tiny little drool mark left against Daryl's chest from the girl, and lifted her up onto her shoulder.

Miles worked his way around the bed and took the sleeping little girl into his own arms.

"You stayin' in here?" Miles asked Callie watching her eyes roam back over to Ben who was sitting up slowly onto the edge of the bed.

"Yeah," Callie said quietly putting a hand on Miles' shoulder. "I'll send Ben out in a bit. We're gonna chat first."

"I'll put Gracie in with Carol and Andrea," Miles said nodding and shifting his eyes back to Ben for a second. "Then I'll wait on the porch for you, buddy. We can go sit with Danny if you want." Ben nodded idly rubbing at the back of his head and shifting his eyes over his shoulder to where Daryl was laying. Miles gave a bit of a smile to Callie and then ducked out with the sleeping little girl.

Callie moved over and shut the door, leaning her back on it and crossing her arms to watch Ben shift off the bed. The boy stood there, the laces of Daryl's boots still held in one hand, and just stared at the unmoving mass of man in the bed before him. After a minute, Callie shifted, pulling the soft sweater she'd found in Jenna's belongings tighter over her body. She'd changed only moments before coming back into the house, needing fresh clothes and a shower to get the feel of the day off of her. The comfort of her sweatpants and tank top were wanted, while the warmth and memories of the sweater were needed.

Making her way towards the boy, Callie put a hand to his head and pushed him along to follow her to the other side of the bed. The chair, the same fucking chair she'd sat in when Jenna was settled in this room, had been placed by Hershel. Knowing that Daryl wasn't going to be facing the that side of the bed anytime soon, the older man had pretty much taken the chair out of Callie's hands earlier when she'd tried to move it.

Callie settled herself down on the chair and let Ben lean his backside across from her on the edge of the bed. She tilted her head to the side and watched Ben's eyes flick over his shoulder to Daryl and then back down to the boots he'd been dragging along with him. And she waited.

And surprisingly, she didn't have to wait long.

"I don't feel good," Ben said his little mouth twitching to the side as if what he was saying wasn't exactly what he wanted to say. He lifted his eyes, keeping his chin settled on his chest and stared up at Callie through the fringe of his lashes and grown out hair. Callie shifted a bit, leaning forward and tilting her head to catch his gaze, waiting for him to continue. "I just—" he shifted his eyes over to Daryl again and then back to her. "I don't know."

The boy drew the fingers of his other hand through his hair, a motion that had her smirking a bit because she wasn't sure which of the men he'd picked that one up from. Rick, Daryl, Shane, Danny. That was a habit they all shared when they were frustrated. Even she did it more often than she'd care to admit. He shook his head as if angry at himself and then slid down so that he was sitting on the floor by the bed, his head tilted down to where Daryl's boots now sat between his legs.

"Feelin' sick again?" Callie asked leaning down and putting her hand to his head, which he immediately shook his head and dislodged with a bit of a huffed out shrug. She dipped her head and when she failed to catch his eye she slipped off the chair and settled on the floor. Her knees were up and her arms were wrapped around them as she looked at him. Ben lifted his eyes and watched her for a moment before lifting his knees and mirroring her pose. Leaving Daryl's boots settled on the ground between them. "C'mon buddy, you were waiting up for me," Callie said watching his eyes slip to her and his lips tip to the side as he bit at the inside of his cheek. "C'mon you know what you want to say."

"I don't feel…right," Ben said quietly, his eyes slipping to the side quickly. Callie followed the motion of his eyes and finally started to understand. Her gaze worked up to where she could barely make out the figure of Daryl still sleeping on the bed, his slumber most likely aided by the heavy dose of antibiotics and pain meds he'd been dealt when he woke the last time. Callie shifted her eyes back to Ben as he squirmed a bit and ducked his head onto his raised arms.

"Is it like this hard sort of lumpy feelin' in your tummy?" Callie started, watching Ben's head tip up and his expression change just a bit to regard her with a slightly surprised look. She lowered her knees to an Indian-style position and put her hand in a fist right under her ribcage. "Sort of feels like you tried to swallow a rock and it got stuck on its way down."

"Kinda," Ben said shifting his feet down to match her pose again and putting his hand over his own little torso. Callie smiled sadly watching him grimace a bit and rub at his tummy. "It hurts."

"Mine too," Callie said letting her hands fall back down to her knees.

"Yeah?" Ben asked shifting a bit as he drew up his knees again and tucked his face into his arms. Callie nodded and Ben shifted a bit more on his little butt and she waited for him to get comfortable with what he needed to ask. "Are we sick?"

"Kinda," Callie said shifting her eyes up to the man sleeping on the bed. She stared at him for a minute, his body still in the exact same position as when she entered and she wondered if he was really sleeping. Ben lifted his head and looked up as well but then looked down at her with a brow raised. "I was kidding, Ben. We aren't sick." He glared at her a bit and she couldn't help but chuckle. "Sometimes when you-," Callie stopped, searching for the word she wanted to use in place of the one she probably needed to. "Sometimes when you care about someone so much, and you see them hurt or in pain or sad, you feel it too. Does that make sense?"

"So 'cause I-" Ben scrunched his face and squinted at her and Callie's hand lifted to cover her smile. It was the first time she'd ever seen what everyone had commented on. Ben really was taking on quite a few of Daryl's little quirks. She wondered if the man had seen those little distinctive movements for himself, and what he thought about that. "So 'cause I care 'bout Daryl, and he's hurt, my tummy hurts?"

"Yep," Callie said feeling the oversimplification was just what the boy needed to make him understand.

"Does it help to tell the person that you care?" Ben asked quietly looking down at Daryl's boots. Callie's brow quirked and she just stared at him. He squirmed under her gaze and knocked his head around a bit on his little shoulders, obviously feeling uncomfortable talking about the stuff he was feeling. "Ya know does it make it better if the person knows ya care? Then maybe they'll know that they're hurtin' you too and they won't go off an' get hurt no more."

"No," Callie said as honestly as she could and he let out an angry huff. "It takes a bit of the weight off, but—" Callie took a breath and ran her fingers through her loose curling waves shaking her head. "But once you care about someone that much, it never goes away buddy. It just tends to grow." Ben's eyes lifted to her and she was the one squirming under his gaze this time. They'd had a similar conversation, so many months ago now it felt like years. About how sick he was feeling after his parents had died and how that feeling wouldn't ever go away, but that he'd learn to carry it with him in time. And Callie knew that some of this talk was flowing back to that night and that boy's sense of survivor's guilt that she and Danny had tried so hard to squelch. "Ben, it's not wrong to care about him. It's not wrong to let him know that you do either."

"Did you tell him?" Ben asked his head lifting a bit. She stared at him for a moment and he clarified. Bless his fucking heart. "'Bout your tummy hurtin' too?"

"Not yet," Callie said with a bit of a pained expression and Ben shifted a big grin to her. "Not a word, little man. Not one word." Ben smiled a bit longer but then shifted his eyes down to Daryl's boots at his feet. He kicked one over to her and Callie watched his expression turn sour and cold again. In the dim light of the small lamp on the table by the door Callie could just make out the hint of shining unshed tears in his eyes.

"I was cleanin' them up," Ben said kicking the boot to her again and this time she reached out for it, her fingers catching on the laces. "The toe," Ben said with a loud sniff. He wiped the back of his hand harshly over his eyes and sniffed again and Callie angled the shoe so that she could inspect the toe.

Deep indentations scoured through the leather revealing the steel toe underneath. Small indentations, that as she skipped her fingers over she realized were made by teeth and nails. Callie's breath caught and her eyes skipped over to Ben and then up to the sleeping son of a bitch in the bed.

"He really almost died," Ben said quietly, his voice cracking a bit before he sniffed again. He let out an angry huff of a breath and shoved his hand along his eyes again before glaring at the boot in her hand. "Not just a close call or somethin' with Andrea's piss poor shot," Ben grumbled out and Callie shook her head a bit her fingers still smoothing over the toe of Daryl's boot. "He was that close," he pointed at the shoe. "Ain't no way a Walker woulda been able to get its teeth on him otherwise. No way. He almost died, Callie. Out there. On his own, where he always tol' me he was jus' fine. He almost died. And we wouldn'ta found him. Wouldn'ta known what happened. I woulda lost him without bein' able to-" tears were fallin' down Ben's face now and Callie gave up on letting the boy be tough. She grabbed his arm and pulled him to her settling his little frame in her lap and letting him cry into her shoulder. After a few seconds he let out a little sniff and settled enough to mumble the rest of what he was thinking into her chest. "I wouldn't'a been able to tell him thank you, or how much I loved him, or how much he meant to me. He'da just been gone."

Ben crumbled into a heap in her lap, his head settled against her chest and hands reaching down to play with the frayed hem on his jeans. Callie's head tipped up as she placed her hand on top of his head, her eyes searching the ceiling as she blinked back her own unshed tears. She really wasn't equipped for all of this. She dealt with scrapes and bruises. And she'd dealt with the little things; bullies on playgrounds when Sammy and Hannah were little and she'd visited them in Savannah. But this stuff.

The real stuff.

Shit, she hadn't even gotten a handle on this stuff in her own fucked up life.

Callie felt Ben shift in her lap and she let him wiggle his way out. He propped himself up against the bed again and wiped his eyes and nose with the back of his arm. They sat in that bit of silence again, Callie's eyes shifting over his head to the bed again, watching Daryl's face for any signs of wakefulness. Her eyes moved to Ben and she smiled a bit tossing Daryl's boots up on to the chair. Shifting around she moved towards the pile of clean clothes she'd brought in for Daryl earlier. Smiling slightly at the sight of Rick's badge settled on top, she slipped her fingers into the back pocket pulling out the photo she'd found in his other pants before she'd taken them out to be washed.

She shifted back around to face the now interestedly raised eyes of Ben and smiled as she handed the photo over to him.

"He carries that with him everywhere he goes," Callie said quietly watching Ben shift and take the photo. It was crumpled and torn just a bit, and the fold down the center had pretty much obliterated Daryl's face but his form was unmistakable between the two kids. Ben stared down at the photo for a long time, his mouth twitching to the side again before he looked up at her.

"Just like Danny carries his photo of him an' Jake," Ben said his eyes shifting to the photo again as Callie nodded her head. Ben sniffed and then got to his feet, holding the photo out to Callie with his little mouth pressed into a firm line and his head nodding. "And how you carry photos of all of us in your bag?"

Callie nodded again, smiling a bit at the boy as he gave away her little secret. Ben nodded again and Callie shifted taking the photo from the boy's outstretched hands.

"He's got just as much of that weight in his tummy for you Ben. And he's just as uncomfortable as you and me." Callie held up the photo and Ben stared at her for a minute before nodding. It looked like he wanted to say something but he scrunched his face and shifted his eyes up to the bed and the moment was gone. "Miles is waiting outside for you. I'll take Daryl duty tonight," Callie shifted forward and smiled. "You're officially on Danny duty."

Ben nodded his head and scrubbed his hand at the back of his head a bit. His eyes shifted around the floor a bit, catching on Daryl's boots nearby and just when she figured the boy was going to leave he surprised her again. Tossing himself at her he gave her a quick hug and then shoved away again. Callie shook her head as he made his way back around the bed towards the door. Ben stopped after a few steps and looked back at her with a grimace.

"Hey, Callie?" Ben asked his voice barely above a whisper. She looked up at him from her staring match with Daryl's worn out photo. The boy grimaced and shot a look to the prone man on the bed. "Can you not tell him what I said, or 'bout me cryin' and stuff? I don't want him ta know 'bout that stuff right now."

Callie lifted her hand and crossed her heart and zipped her lips; her voice caught somewhere in between her mouth and her stomach, most likely on that large lump that just seemed to fucking grow daily for her. She nodded her head at him as he gave a quick couple bobs of his head.

Ben left the room, the door closing behind him with a click that seemed to echo in the dimly lit confines of the room. Callie looked down at the little photo in her hands and smiled.

And I'll make sure to keep my distance

Say "I love you" when you're not listening

How long can we keep this up, up, up?

And please don't stand so close to me

I'm having trouble breathing

I'm afraid of what you'll see right now

I give you everything I am

All my broken heart beats

Until I know you understand

Daryl heard the door close and let out a long low breath. Pressin' that pillow to his head a bit harder he worked to steady his breathin' and not let her know that he was awake just yet. He took a chance at slippin' one eye open just a fraction of an inch. The top of her head barely visible through the fringe of his lashes.

He knew she wasn't lookin' at him, 'cause he could fuckin' feel when she was now, but he didn't want to chance being wrong and her catchin' him just yet. She was still on the floor, lookin' at something—that photo probably—and he could hear her steady breaths echoin' around him and he tried to match his own to hers.

One breath. Then another. Then that third that was supposed to steady his pulse and calm him down. But it didn't. The pounding in his head wasn't quite as intense as he opened his eyes fully to stare down at her as she sat on the floor by that chair. Her face blurred a bit in his vision and whether it was from his fuckin' concussion or something else he wasn't sure. But if she pushed it, he'd say it was the concussion without hesitatin'.

The dim light of the lamp behind him sent shadows over her features but he knew when she started to smile. Fuckin' felt it. This was the first time he'd opened his eyes and knew he wasn't dreamin' of her. Knew she was actually there, and that she wasn't some tormenting vision in his head just there to fuck with him. She was there. And all he wanted to do was drag her to him and hold her, but he couldn't seem to get past just lookin' at her at the moment.

He'd woken as soon as he heard her and Miles, but hadn't fully gained consciousness until the instant her hand had skimmed over his where Gracie had been holdin' on to his. He remembered bein' surprised by the strength in that bitty-little baby's vice-like grip when she'd grabbed on to his fingers. He'd been tempted to pull away, but hadn't had the strength. Fuck, that was a crock of shit; he'd had the strength but not the will. Instead he'd let the strange sort of comfort that the two kids all curled up next to him had caused to take over. He'd done a bang up job at that point of shuttin' imaginary Merle the fuck up and let himself drift off to sleep with 'em. And it had been a deep fuckin' sleep too. One that had apparently allowed Gracie the opportunity to slip her head off the pillow and onto his chest without him even flinchin'.

But all of that comfort had been quashed the instant her hands had touched his skin. His senses had immediately woken up, thoughts of her delicate fingers on him eliciting such a strong response that his stomach had immediately clenched and tightened. He'd been tempted to grab her hand at that point, his fingers curling just a bit towards hers and Gracie's, his eyes still closed so as not to give himself away. But he didn't.

Couldn't.

He'd listened to her hushed conversation with Ben, his eyes closed and his mind desperately workin' to control his breathing. He'd felt bad about it for a bit but he knew something in him wanted to hear this. Some part of him wanted to know but another part was still too fuckin' scared to open his eyes and let her know.

And now that he'd opened his eyes, he was too fuckin' scared to do anything else.

Pussy.

Daryl firmed his lips at the sound of his brother's voice in his head and fought the urge to shake his head. Callie was smiling a bit more, her head shaking just a bit and he furrowed his brow a bit.

"You gonna just lay there," Callie's voice echoed out low and slightly humored as she raised her eyes to meet his. "Or you got somethin' to say?"

Daryl smiled, he couldn't help it, he smiled and blinked his eyes a bit as he watched her watch him from her position on the floor. Licking his lips, he worked to move a bit of saliva around in his dry throat and said a little prayer that his voice wouldn't break when he spoke.

"Man can't just enjoy the show?" Daryl said, his voice raspy but strong. Her head dipped and he instantly felt that he'd said the wrong thing. He snarled at himself, and he started to move as his head began to shake.

"Is that what that was?" Callie muttered back, her voice muffled a bit by the fact that her chin was against her chest. Daryl growled at himself and worked past the slight bit of dizziness and nausea he was feelin' at his rushed movements so that he could get off the fuckin' bed. 'Cause he wasn't fuckin' having this conversation-if they were havin' it-while she was on the floor and he was laid up in a bed. Callie's head lifted at the sound of his rustling movements and she moved to get up. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?" She was getting to her feet now, her hands held out in front of her, the photo forgotten on the ground. She moved closer and then backed up as his feet swung towards her.

It was at that point that Daryl realized he was fuckin' naked. He grabbed up the sheet and blanket around his waist and tucked them around him. His bare feet were hanging off the bed one bandaged thigh-the fuck? Oh yeah he remembered the rock that did that one-out in the open. He glared up at her as she stood up to her full height and crossed her arms over her chest, just smilin' down at him as he worked to keep himself covered.

"Not a pleasant feelin' to wake up to, huh?" Callie said smiling a bit more. Obviously she was thinking back to the couple of time she'd been near death and stripped in her unconscious state. Daryl glowered at her chucklin' and winced as he lifted a hand to angrily wave her off.

Daryl never slept naked. Neither of them had. They may have gotten carried away by the rush of heat that seemed to spark anytime they touched, but neither of them had ever been stupid enough to stay naked after. No matter how much Daryl woulda liked to enjoy the soft feel of her naked body pressed into him all night, he knew better. And she knew better too. This world wasn't made for lounging at ease with the woman you-

Daryl's mouth twitched and he lashed his arm out a bit at her.

"Either help, or get out the way, woman." Daryl growled low in his throat. Callie shifted her weight from one foot to another a single brow raised at him, almost daring him to get up. He slipped a little bit further out of the bed managing to get one of his bare feet on the ground, and finally she shook her head.

"Stubborn sum'bitch," Callie muttered turning around and snatching a bunch of clothes from the ground. She held them to her chest and lifted a brow at him. "Boxers or no boxers?"

"Gimme that," Daryl snapped snatching for the clothes. The movement sent a fresh wave of pain through him and he ended up bent over, leanin' heavy on his good side with his right hand plastered to his throbbin' left side.

"A severe concussion," Callie began in a low tone as she stepped forward and set part of his clothes on the bed. He watched as she crouched down at his knees. "A bolt through the muscle that tore it up damn good on the way in and out. A bullet to the head. Not to mention multiple contusions and abrasions," Daryl shifted a bit, glaring at the woman as she slapped at his ankles, he begrudgingly lifted each foot ant let her slip his boxers over his feet and onto his legs. "Big, deep, crazy contusions," Callie said as she slipped his boxers up over his knees her finger tapping gently on the bandage around his thigh.

Daryl tightened his grip on the sheet he was holding and then glared at her when she inched the fabric up further. He pushed back as she pushed up and she chuckled. She fuckin' chuckled.

"C'mon, you ain't got nothin' under that sheet that I haven't seen." Callie smiled a bit wider as he glared down at her. "Hell buddy boy, you ain't got nothin' half the people in this house haven't seen at this point. Rick, Danny, Hershel, Patricia-"

"Bitch," Daryl snarled, his head lolling to the side as he shifted awkwardly before tossing the sheet aside.

"Sweet talker," Callie chuckled, and this time Daryl didn't snarl at her. He slipped his left hand gingerly onto her shoulder and then slowly pushed to his feet as his right hand stayed steady over the mass of bandages at his side.

"Ain't never had a woman help me into my clothes 'fore," Daryl muttered as he winced and put his weight fully on legs that felt like fuckin' Jell-o. Her hands slipped further up and Daryl tipped his head up and stared at the ceiling as she slipped his boxers up and settled them at his hips.

"First time for everything I guess, Casanova." Callie said, her breath fanning on his midsection for a moment before she snapped the waist band against him. She smiled as she helped him sit back down slowly, and he kept his hand at her shoulder while she settled back down to her crouched position between his legs. "Pants?" she asked, and he shook his head groaning a bit as the world spun.

They sat that way for a few minutes, Callie's head down so that he was left staring at the top of her fuckin' head again. Daryl's hand slipped up from her shoulder to the side of her neck, his fingers knotting a bit in her loose hair at the nape of her neck while his thumb smoothed over her jaw.

"M'sorry," Daryl said quietly, causing her eyes to slip up to him. "Wasn't a show."

"How long were you awake?" Callie asked tipping her head into his palm a bit before averting her gaze again. Daryl could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen her embarrassed and self-conscious, so to see it now was a bit surprising.

"Since ya walked in," Daryl said quietly and he felt her head bob twice as she let out a long low sigh. "Woke up fully when ya touched me." Her eyes skipped up to him, and he smirked as he pressed his palm into her cheek. "When'd you figure out I was up?"

"When you finally looked at me," Callie said shaking her head. "Jackass," she muttered and he scoffed out a small laugh at her. She was avertin' her gaze again, and he could feel her biting at the inside of her cheek as she worked to get a hold of herself. "So you heard-" She shifted her head away a bit and looked up at him. "You heard Ben?"

There was a heavy beat of silence before Daryl worked up the nerve to answer.

"Yeah," Daryl's voice cracked a bit and he cleared his throat as he stared into her shinin' hazel eyes. "Yeah I heard Ben."

Callie let out a shuddering breath that ripped through his heart, and stole the air from his lungs. She stared at him long and hard, and he felt the urge to look away from her. Avert his eyes from the stark truth of her feelings for him just flat out visible in those watering depths. But he knew if he looked away she'd close it up again. Knew because that's exactly what he wanted to do.

He'd been longing to hear those words from her, those three words that in his hazed delirious mind he'd sworn he'd heard the figment of her sayin'. Words that he knew she was strugglin' with. Not because she didn't feel it, but because of the fear of what would come after.

He well understood that fear.

She took another shuddering breath and his finger continued to smooth over her jaw. He slipped his thumb over to her chin and under her full bottom lip. She stared at him, her thoughts an' feelin's readin' like a fuckin' open book that he couldn't seem to put down and turn away from. Then she opened her mouth to speak and Daryl's breath hitched and his heart stopped.

He couldn't let her.

"Daryl I -"

"I strike you as a man who values words over actions?" Daryl said cuttin' her off before she could actually utter those three words. Her mouth hung open a bit, the tip of her tongue poised at her top teeth ready to say that one word he hadn't really heard said to him much in his life. Her eyes held his and he lifted a brow at her. She slipped her tongue in and bit her bottom lip just a bit, tryin' to hide the bit of a shaky smile she that had broke out on her face. She tried to shake her head but his hand at her neck stopped her and he tugged her up towards him. "C'mere."

His lips met hers and something crashed in his chest. Another one of those glass bubbles he'd put up shattered and pierced him in a million different places. His nerve-endings exploded as he pulled her up to him, and those shattered pieces in his chest fell down to that hard lump in his stomach twisting painfully deep into it. He didn't even feel the pain of his wounds anymore, all he felt he was her warm lips on his, her gentle fingers sliding over his shoulders and pressing into his sore muscles. He dropped his right hand from that mound of mutilated flesh at his side and grabbed her hip pulling her to him. She tried to pull back, obviously worried about hurting him but he pulled harder causing her knee to slip onto the bed at his hip.

He wasn't satisfied until she'd straddled him completely. Wasn't content until he'd slid his hand up from her hip and pressed her body flush to his. Her hands had settled on either side of his face now, her mouth frantically moving to keep up with his own ridiculous movements. He felt her knees tighten around his hips, and he slipped one arm away to lower himself as easily down on to the bed as he could.

The press of the mattress, soft as it was, served to remind him why Patricia had placed that fuckin' pillow behind his back. The wave of pain that shot through his torn up side had his mouth pulling from hers on a howling groan. Callie pulled back immediately, her hands lifting from his face to hover over him as she shook her head.

"Don't you move," Daryl growled when he felt her legs startin' to lift so that she could move off of him. He half rolled her to the side so that he could get off of that tattered mound of flesh and held her tight. "Don't you fuckin' move. I got this."

"Daryl," Callie said her voice a bit hoarse as she pressed a hand to his face. His eyes were closed, 'cause he found that helped to get his focus and his head was shaking.

"I dragged my fucked up ass outta a ravine," Daryl growled out, his voice coming from deep in the back of his throat. "Up that fuckin' ridge. Traveled fuckin' miles on foot bleeding from my gut while the world tipped upside down around me to get back here. Get back to you." He shifted a bit under her, feeling her lift her hips away a bit and he tugged her back down. "You think any of those little bumps and scrapes I got are gonna stop me from fuckin' you half stupid right now, you got another thing comin'. Ain't nothin' I can't handle."

"I know that," Callie said, but he heard the chuckle in her voice as before her forehead slipped against his. "I saw what you had to handle to get to me," Callie said quietly, and that was all it took.

And fuck her for knowing it would.

His eyes snapped open, his mind reelin' for a second as he slowly came back to the reality of what she was sayin'. He'd forgotten. Somehow, in the midst of all the strange dreams, odd hallucinations, pain and nausea that he'd felt in the past few hours he'd actually fuckin' managed to forget. Not about Jenna. No that shit would haunt him till the day he died.

He'd forgotten that she'd gone to get her. Forgotten that she saw what he'd done to her.

"Daryl," Callie's voice rang out, and he realized then that he'd frozen under her. His eyes were staring at her but he hadn't really been seein' her. His head began to shake and he instantly grabbed for her hands on his face and pulled them away as roughly as he could.

"G'off," Daryl muttered trying to turn away, his grip on her wrists tight but not painfully so. He worked to pull her hands away but she pressed on and put her forehead back to his.

"Stop it," Callie said harshly and his eyes slid from where he'd rolled them up into his head back to hers. "Stop." Daryl took in a deep breath, he felt his chest shudder with it and knew she fuckin' felt it to. He was suddenly angry that she was so close. Angry that he couldn't hide that rush of emotions from her. She didn't say anything, just stared into his eyes, her knees tight at his hips.

He took a breath and firmed his lips against his emotions but couldn't resist the need to explain.

"I didn't know it was her," Daryl said quickly, almost pleadingly and he shook his head against the anger brewing. "I didn't. She came up behind me," Daryl shook his head and his last words came out a harsh whisper. "And I killed her."

"You didn't kill her," Callie said her hands tightening on his face. He furrowed his brow angrily at her and tried to shift her off. Get away from her placating words.

"Yeah I did," Daryl spat. "I drove my knife right into her head, and killed her. You ain't got to sugar coat that and make me feel better 'bout it." Callie sat back and slipped off of him staring hard at him.

"Have you ever known me to sugar coat things," Callie said back, settling herself on the bed beside him while he worked to get up. She helped him up a bit and he tried to pull from her but she didn't let him go. "You listen, and you listen good, Dixon. You didn't kill her." Daryl stared hard at her, workin' hard to not pull away when she touched his face again. "You're gonna beat yourself up like you did. I can't stop you from doing that, it's just the man you are. And I lo–" she took a breath and shook her head at his sharp look. "You didn't kill her. That Walker that scratched her killed her. And I would rather have you here with me, beatin' yourself up for surviving, than have to try and go on even a day without you." Her eyes were shinin' again all those unshed tears sparkling along her lashes and he clenched his jaw tight against the sight of it. She took another one of those deep shuddering breaths and he felt her fingers slide off his face down to his chest. "You could have died, and I wouldn't have been able to-"

She cut herself off and stared at him. Her words echoed Ben's from earlier and he felt the impact of them just as deeply as he had when that boy had sobbed them into her chest moments ago. She tapped her finger on his chest and he took in a deep breath, not really up for sayin' anything. Suddenly he felt the pull of his throbbing head and all the hurt of his beat down body. She must have seen some of that in his eyes because her hand was moving and she was shifting away.

"I'll leave you to your brooding," Callie said sliding away.

"Don't," Daryl managed to croak out, his hand lifting on a wince as he reached for her. She looked back at him and he worked to situate himself back into his settled in position on the bed. "Don't leave. I-," he shook his head and stared at her hard hopin' she'd just read his mind like he knew she could.

"Lay down," Callie said moving her hands down his body to help get his feet settled on the bed. She leaned over him as he leaned back and repositioned his pillow at his back. He trailed his hand along her hip as she worked to pull the blankets up around him again. Callie sat beside him for a moment, her hand slipping over his shoulder.

"She was the first," Daryl said quietly, and Callie closed her eyes as she nodded her head understanding. Empathizing in a way he knew only she could. Jenna had been the first person he'd cared about that he'd had to take out in this new fucked up world. And they both knew he wouldn't be forgetting that anytime soon. "I ain't broodin'," he said pulling on her a bit. She slipped down and snuggled into him where Gracie had been before, her head laying on his bicep as he snaked his right arm around and held her to him. "I get it now. Your list," he said quietly as he put his lips to her head. "I get it."

Callie's head nodded a bit as her fingers trailed over his chest, delicately picking a path along the scar that ran just under his collar bone from his right shoulder to mid chest. Her fingers slid over the scar and his eyes closed as he just lay there breathing her in. He was just drifting off again when he felt her smile against his chest, his eyes opened as her fingers trailed off of his skin.

"I didn't notice before," Callie said quietly, his eyes sliding down to her face as she stared at a spot on his chest. His brow furrowed and she slipped her eyes up to him. "We match."

Daryl lifted his head just enough to see where her fingers were settled along the thick scar on her own chest. The scar that ran just under her collar bone from her left shoulder to the middle of her chest. He winced as he slipped his left hand up to grab her fingers, placing her hand back onto his chest and holding it there.

"Other half," Daryl muttered sleepily and she chuckled. She fuckin' chuckled and he groaned.

"Softie," Callie muttered snuggling her head in to him. He lifted his right hand from its position on her hip and gave her head a small smack that she chuckled at more.

"Shut up, Callie." Daryl stumbled as he worked to get those words out past the lump in his throat. His own nature competing with the words that he wanted to say to her. Three words that hung in the air around them waiting for one of them to break and face their fears.

And I'll make sure to keep my distance

Say "I love you" when you're not listening

How long can we keep this up, up, up?

And I keep waiting

For you to take me

You keep waiting

To save what we have

So I'll make sure to keep my distance

Say "I love you" when you're not listening

How long can we keep this up, up, up?

Make sure to keep my distance

Say "I love you" when you're not listening

How long til we call this love, love, love?

~Distance/ Christina Perri

AN: I think I officially hate this chapter. Not for content, but for the ache in my head from writing it. I really hope that what I was working towards shone through all the crazy…SAY IT, SAY IT moments. I also really, really hope that y'all enjoyed it for what it is.

The song is awesome, and when I heard it I pegged it for exactly how these two were acting.

I've got a good bit of PM's and Reviews to respond to. Don't worry. I haven't forgotten you lovely people, just been bogged down by this THIS AHHHH.

Alright, that's all I've got.

~See ya next chapter.