36. Findings

"Hey dad. Look Lily Rose, it's grandpa!"

Elliot grinned when his youngest granddaughter popped up on his screen, almost pushing her little nose against her mother's phone.

"Grampaaa!" she yelled.

Kathleen put her little one in her lap and set her phone on a holder on her kitchen table, allowing her to use both hands to hold her little exuberant bundle of joy in place. Lily Rose was bouncing up and down excitedly on her knee and began telling her grandpa all about her adventures in Sunday school with her best friend Bobby.

Of all his kids, Kathleen and her family lived closest to the city, on Long Island. The twin boys were sixteen now and getting in all kinds of trouble together, and Kathleen sometimes threatened to go and get grandpa to discipline them Marine style. She'd be joking of course, but the boys looked up to their grandfather and mentioning him was often enough to get them back in line.

Elliot loved spending time with Thomas and Timothy, going to baseball practice with them and just hanging out, and Kathleen was overjoyed to have him live so close by again at last. His contact with his children and grandchildren had been irregular over the years but he had always continued to feel close to Kathleen, his most intense child. She was an explosive mix of her father and her grandmother and Elliot couldn't love her more, sometimes despite of her character but usually because of it.

When Lily Rose finally took a breath, Kathleen asked her if she could talk to grandpa now, and, knowing she'd only have a minute or so before the little girl would start making noise again, she dove straight into the conversation.

"So. Catherine is dating Olivia's son. Have you spoken to her yet?"

Elliot grinned. He was also aware they didn't have much time, so he got straight to the point as well.

"Yeah, I have. The four of us have even been out to dinner. Now you told me that Olivia was in a relationship after … you know, what happened to her, but her son tells me there was no one. Why did you tell me she had someone taking care of her?"

Kathleen frowned.

"She wasn't alone dad. I saw a picture of her with that guy … I don't remember his name but he used to work with you when Olivia just partnered up with you. The caption said he was her boyfriend."

"You didn't send me that picture."

Kathleen scoffed.

"Duh! I know how you felt about her dad. I didn't think you'd want to see the guy."

"Duh!" Lily Rose said happily, and she clapped her hands. "Duh!"

Elliot was trying to think of who she could mean, letting Kathleen's comment about his feelings for Olivia slide for the moment. Kathleen hadn't been to the station much but apparently she remembered the guy that had been labeled as Olivia's boyfriend at the time.

"But dad, if they say now that she was alone …"

"Which guy Kathleen? Someone from our old squad?"

"Yeah. The young guy. I think he was Munch's partner before Fin."

Elliot let out an involuntary grunt when he realized who his daughter must be referring to. It couldn't be, could it? Not him …

"You mean Cassidy?"

"Yeah, that's him! I couldn't remember his name but that's him!" Kathleen confirmed.

Elliot bit back the swear words that popped up in his head for the sake of his little granddaughter, but Kathleen could see his reaction on his face.

"You never liked him, did you?" she asked and Elliot shook his head.

"He was totally wrong for her. I can't believe she'd … but I guess she found out he was worthless when it really mattered. Noah says she had no one supporting her, that she did it all on her own. Makes sense if he was there …"

"I'm sorry daddy," Kathleen said. "I really thought …"

"It's okay honey. There was nothing I could have done for her anyway."

"Except maybe call her after a while to ask how she was doing?"

Elliot nodded, knowing she was right. Of course she was right, but he'd been a coward and a jealous asshole. He hadn't wanted to hear her talk about the man in her life, and after seeing her in 2016, he hadn't wanted to see her with her man at all. She was happy, that was all that had mattered to him. She was happy without him and she didn't need him.

"So you had dinner with her. Are you going to see her again?"

Kathleen's question brought him back to the present, and the situation with Sarah.

"Yeah."

"That's great dad. I'm sure she still cares about you."

Elliot sucked his lower lip between his teeth, debating how much he should tell his daughter about what was going on. When Lily Rose piped up again he decided to focus on the little girl and not mention anything to Kathleen just yet. The investigation was ongoing after all. He made a funny face, making Lily Rose giggle and when they ended the call a while later, he was smiling again. He had so much to be thankful for, and while knowing now that Olivia had hooked up with Cassidy again rattled him a bit, he knew he had no right to be jealous. For the life of him, he would never understand what she'd seen in the man, but Cassidy was out of the picture now and he was back in. He shook his head as he headed for the shower. Despite the circumstances, he was really looking forward to seeing Olivia again.

…

"Could you get that honey? I have to take care of this now."

Noah jumped up to get his mother's phone while she juggled a hot pan in the kitchen. Dinner was just about ready.

"Benson."

"Hi Mr. Benson, this is Lieutenant Wilson. It's Noah, right? I was looking for your mom."

"You have news for us about Sarah's case?" Noah asked eagerly.

The others immediately went quiet and looked at Noah while he listened to Wilson explain their latest findings. Olivia set the pan down on the table and walked up to him, but Noah didn't let go of the phone. Sarah stood next to him, joined by Jen and Catherine, and they all listened to the Lieutenant's update together.

They had already tracked down three of the other young men in the videos and the under age girl was now in custody. She had been working with Evan all along. None of the boys would be prosecuted in exchange for their testimony against Evan as well as the girl. Carisi believed that the girl was a much bigger threat to society than these boys, who had been lured into a trap by a beautiful girl with a fake ID who could easily pass for a nineteen-year old.

"What about Dave?" Sarah asked, and Noah couldn't tell if his sister wanted Dave to walk too, or just the opposite.

"That is up to you, Ms. Benson," the Lieutenant answered. "He assaulted you and you have pressed charges. It's a separate case."

"Will the fact that he was being blackmailed be considered a mitigating circumstance?" Noah asked, looking at Sarah and grabbing her hand with his free hand. "Because he deserves to be crushed like the bug that he is."

Sarah squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile. He could tell that she was torn, but he wasn't. He didn't know what he'd do if he ever came across Dave again on campus.

"Probably. But it doesn't take away from the fact that he overpowered Sarah against her will. The video and her testimony are very clear about that. I called today to let you know that Evan and the girl have been booked and are making a deal as we speak. Carisi is intent on making sure Evan goes to prison for a long time. He won't be back in school."

"Thank you," Sarah said quietly, and Noah let go of her hand when Jen wrapped her arms around her best friend.

"I would like you to come to the station tomorrow Sarah, to discuss the options concerning Dave," Wilson said. "For now, he's out on bail."

"Wilson, I will talk to Sarah, alright?" Olivia interrupted, finally speaking up. "I'll let you know when we're coming in tomorrow."

She reached for the phone and Noah handed it to her. He walked away from the small group and took a deep breath. Dave was out on bail? No way that jerk was going to walk away from this. Not if he could help it. Not if he could help it …

…

Sarah was exhausted. She hadn't eaten much and while she had appreciated everyone's concern and their company, she was glad when she could finally retreat into her bedroom. Jen would help her mom clean up and would join her later, and Sarah used the few moments alone to lay on her bed, eyes closed, allowing her mind to wander and choose what to deal with first.

Dave was out on bail.

Where would he go? To his parents in Newark or back to his dorm room? His parents had sent a lawyer so they knew about the situation. Were they angry with him? Or with her? Sarah shook her head, remembering Mr. Stabler's words. You did nothing wrong. It was what her mother always said, too. You could run around naked, and it still doesn't excuse rape. It is never the victim's fault. No means no, even if you said yes first. So if Dave's parents were angry with her for possibly ruining their son's academic career, that was their problem.

Still, the decision of what to do weighed heavily on her. She knew Dave had gotten into college on a sports scholarship and a conviction for assault could ruin everything for him. She could feel her heart beating fast in her chest and she sat up. She suddenly didn't want to be alone anymore and she was relieved when Jen came in just then.

"Hey hun, what's wrong?" her best friend asked her, looking instantly concerned.

Sarah covered her face with her hands and wanted to cry again. Jen sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"I'm here," she said quietly.

Sarah just nodded and then gave in to her need to cry.

A while later, she and Jen lay snuggled up together on the bed and she explained to Jen what she'd been thinking.

"You know, if this had been a guy you didn't know, it would be a no-brainer," Jen said.

And she was right. Dead on. The fact that she knew Dave and had cared about him, made her feel conflicted. She'd done nothing wrong but she still felt responsible for what would happen next.

"You wanna get your mom in here?" Jen asked, and Sarah smiled while tearing up again.

She didn't know what she'd do without her best friend some days. She nodded.

"Yeah. She'll know what to do."

…

When Jen came out of Sarah's bedroom, Olivia was just about to see Noah and Catherine out. When Jen explained that Sarah wanted to talk to her mom, they all peaked around her bedroom door to say goodnight before Noah and Catherine left. Olivia was concerned about Noah. He had seemed very troubled by the fact that Dave was out on bail. She understood up to a point, but having Sarah safely at home with her, helped her to not let it bother her too much. Despite being a spineless wimp and sleeping around a lot, Dave didn't strike her as dangerous in general. He'd left several messages for Sarah already, telling her how sorry he was for what he'd done. He wasn't denying anything, he just seemed to hope that Sarah would somehow forgive him.

When she joined her daughter and Jen in Sarah's bedroom and they explained what Sarah had been mulling over, Olivia understood that for Sarah, it wasn't the slam-dunk case that it was for Noah. She tried to put herself in Sarah's shoes but it wasn't easy. Both the mother and the cop in her wanted the boy punished severely. But Sarah seemed bothered by the idea that it would possibly mess up the rest of his life.

"In the end, it is all up to you, Sarah," she acknowledged, but the words didn't come easy to her this time. "You just need to decide what you need to recover from this. I don't want you to regret anything later on. You should always know that we all take what's happened to you very seriously. I mean we as your family and friends, but the NYPD as well."

"I know," Sarah said, nodding. "You're all so great and supportive. And I know I have you to thank for the cops taking this so seriously, mom. I know stuff like this doesn't always get reported and it's a small case compared to the horrible things that happen to other people in the city. I mean, he didn't actually rape me, right? But I knew that it was very wrong, what was happening and I'm glad they caught Evan. He's such a sleaze."

"And Dave?" Olivia asked cautiously.

They were all sitting on Sarah's bed, Sarah in the middle, and Olivia took her daughter's hand between hers.

"It's alright Sarah, no matter how you feel about it, okay? Just tell us what you're thinking. There is no wrong answer and there are no wrong feelings."

Sarah sighed and attempted a smile, but Olivia could tell she was struggling. She finally put into words what she was feeling.

"I don't think I ever want to see him again, and I want him to know that was he did was horribly wrong. He deserves punishment, but … Mom, I don't want to destroy his life over this."

Olivia was struck by the sadness in her daughter's eyes when she looked at her and despite the fact that she did want to destroy Dave's life for touching her baby, she knew she should be proud of Sarah right now for being able to show compassion for another person, even under these traumatic circumstances. She felt conflicted herself though, and wasn't sure what she should tell Sarah.

"Why don't we all sleep on it, and we can talk about it again tomorrow," she settled on. "You don't have to make any kind of decision today."

Sarah nodded and glanced at Jen, who in turn looked at Olivia.

"Sarah just needs some time to digest everything and to make sense of what she's feeling," Olivia clarified, for Sarah's benefit as much as Jen's.

They chatted some more and Olivia insisted that whatever Sarah was feeling, was perfectly okay. She should just give herself some time before making a decision. When Sarah told them she was tired and wanted to take a shower and sleep, Olivia retreated into the living room. Jen had brought everything she'd need for class the next day, and was going to stay with Sarah tonight.

Finally alone with her own thoughts, Olivia sat down on the sofa and closed her eyes, resting her head against the backrest. She was so tired. She worried about both her children and wondered where Noah was going to go tonight. Would he go back to his dorm room or spend the night with Catherine again? Would Elliot let him spend the night there?

Elliot …

Would he be coming over soon? She caught herself looking forward to telling him about her kids and to discuss with him how she should handle things with them. She wondered how he would react to Sarah's confusion. And she wondered if Elliot was aware that her son was now sleeping with his granddaughter. Would he be okay with that?

Olivia opened her eyes and couldn't suppress a small smile. Was she really looking forward to going over her day with Elliot? To discuss her family with him?

There was no denying it.

She was.

...