New chapter
golnaz, may be I will upgrade to R but not now. In the very last chapters I guess or may be I can send you an extra. The special scenes if you want.
xx,
...
Nate's house
When Serena woke up she felt so happy and loved. What happened with Nate did not feel awkward or wrong. Nate loved her in a way that Dan never did. It was not about sex, it was about love, Nate's look was so full of love, it gave Serena so much joy and peace. She had not feel like that for so long that she could not even remember when was the last time. Nate was still asleep and Serena leaned on her elbows to observe him, he was so beautiful. She bite her lips and let her head rest on Nate's chest.
However what she felt did not change the reality of the situation, she slept with Nate but what now. How was she supposed to act when he will wake up.
First she should tell him that Dan did sign the papers so her marriage was over. Yesterday before to leave the Spectator to look for Nate, she called a messenger to pick up the papers and bring them to her lawyer. Tomorrow, she will just have to pick up the confirmation of cancellation. She was a single woman, she was not Dan's wife anymore, she was Serena Van Der Woodsen again and she knew that will count a lot for Nate in his acceptance of seeing that he was not a second plate.
Somehow she was glad that nothing happened before because she did not cheat on Dan and Nate could not get the feeling of being betrayed.
But what to do next. What was he waiting from her?
The only thing she was sure about is that last night had not been a mistake. She stayed and had a wonderful night and Nate needed to know that. Her problem now was that she believed that she wasn't Nate's best friend. He acted like that because he was madly in love with her and now that he confessed everything how will he act.
She was hesitating, it was really early but she wanted to talk to him and she was also ready for another round but she was also afraid to wake him up because she could not anticipate his reaction.
His phone started to ring, Serena wondered who could called him that early on a sunday morning. It was 7:30am.
Nate woke up and took his phone. He did not push Serena away which she interpreted as something good.
«Hi dad, I am fine, no, no I did not disappear, I just needed to be alone. Where did I go last night, home, I told you, I needed some space. No I'm fine, I just did not want to be assault by journalists and stuff. Don't worry dad, I am fine. Yes, yes, ok, see you in 30min »
He look at his phone and then looked at Serena
He was insecure, Serena could see it in his eyes
She smiled at him, she kissed him and he seemed surprised so he smiled at her but he was still afraid to talk
« I have to go Serena, I promised my dad » said Nate. He did really not know what to say.
First evel when he heard his phone he was pretty sure that last night had been a dream because of the multiples glasses of scotch that he drunk but no, it was real. Serena was in his bed, her naked body pressed against his and a big smile on her face.
Second evel, he did not know what it meant for her. For him, it meant so much but what about her. She would have to tell him, he was not going to ask. It was her turn to express her feelings because he said pretty much everything last night.
Serena's voice interrupted his thoughts
« It is ok, I know you two go for a run every sunday in Central Park, I just thought that he was not going to run anymore after what the doctors said »
«No run but a walk, it is our moment»
« I guessed it means that I have to let you go then, such a pity » she said with smirk. She wanted more, Nate laughed.
He touched her hair and took her face in his hands
« Look serena about what we did »
She cut him
« I have no regrets, now go or you will be late, I will see you later, I have to go to my parents for brunch, Chuck and Blair are coming, so see you there Natie »
She gave him a kiss on the cheek but so close to his lips, he closed his eyes and then get out of the bed without adding anything. No regret, he felt relieved at least she was not going to avoid him or felt bad about it, it was a good point.
He picked up his clothes on the floor, dressed up and left the room.
Serena looked at the messy room, they broke one of Nate's lamps and she was pretty sure that the bottle of scotch that Nate took before to leave the living room finished its life in the stairs. She was not going to let Winnie clean this, she will do it.
She then looked at the empty space in the bed next to her, bite her lips and took her clothes on the floor aswell. She went to the bathroom for a quick shower. Something from last night crossed her mind but she decided to forget about this details.
...
The captain was waiting for Nate at the entrance on the 72nd street. When he saw his son he was smiling however Nate noticed that his father was really pale.
« My champion, my son the new Mayor of NYC. »
« I am not the Mayor yet Dad, we will see it in two weeks now but it looks good. Are you ok, you look tired. »
« Your mum she gave me an hard time yesterday. We were worried about you, why did you leave without saying goodbye, your grandfather was really angry. »
« Oh I kind of noticed that, I looked at my phone after you called and I had like 30missed calls and 10 from grandfather so I guess, I will have a very pleasant talk tomorrow. » joked Nate
The Captain laughed too but then he became serious. He told Nate that he saw Serena and Dan too and no matter how Nate felt in that moment he could not leave.
« You jumped to conclusion because you are obsessed with this idea, you believe so much that she will go back with him that you are interpreting everything as a sign going in that direction and it is your choice but it doesn't give you the right to fail and abandon the game. You know how many people were there, how many wanted to hear how happy you were but no you left, why because you saw something. »
« I know, it was stupid and I won't do it again dad but I was. »
« But you were what Nate hurt, overthinking and having crazy thoughts because of the pretty blonde that you had been in love since you are what 5 or 6. Be a man Nate. You can't be afraid. »
Nate explained to his father that he was not afraid but destroyed and admitted that his attitude had been totally wrong and that he was going to send an email to all the persons who were at the Spectator last night. The Captain agreed and added that William probably had something written by one of his communication's experts.
The Captain told Nate that for someone who was destroyed few hours ago, he looked pretty good. He asked Nate to sit on a bench as he felt tired and he had some difficulties to breathe.
« Did Serena find you, she left to look for you and soon after she left we tried to call her too and phone off. So I am just asking if she found you. »
Nate confessed
« I slept with her. »
« Don't you sleep with her every night. » asked the Captain who knew what Nate meant but he wanted to hear it from Nate.
« No, what I mean dad is that we made love and now I don't know what to do. She looked so happy this morning, so, I don't know. I mean what about us. I am scared that if we move too fast it won't work but at the same time, what is moving too fast. I've known her my all life, I know everything about her and I don't want to wait but I still need to be sure that she really loves me. »
« What do you expect from her. » asked the Captain who was very pale now
Nate asked his father if he was ok.
« Look Dad, we should go home. We are still close to the house, we should go and from there I call mum and she can send a car for you. »
« I am fine Nate. I am fine. »
Nate frowned, he knew that his dad was not ok. He took his phone
«what are you doing. » asked the Captain
« I am calling my driver, I take you to the hospital. »
« Nate, no, no please listen to me, I am fine. Why don't you go to buy me an orange juice or something. » he pointed a shopping trolley in front of them.
Nate was observing his dad.
« I buy you a orange juice but after I call my driver and take you home. »
«ok, ok. » said the Captain who was feeling to weak to reply
Nate did the few steps that were separating them from the trolley, looking back every second to see if his dad was ok. There were two persons before him, he waited for his turn still looking at his father. The Captain smiled at Nate and raised his thumb. Nate ordered the orange juice and when he was about to pay he noticed that he was tembling, he was scared.
He heard voices in his back and as he returned, he let the bottle fall. He had not been looking at his dad for what 10seconds, 20seconds and the Captain was lying on the bench with 2 runners around him.
Nate called 911 and took his dad's face.
« Dad, dad, can you hear me. I called 911. You can't leave me now. »
« I told you I will stay alive until you got your girl. »
« Dad it is not funny at all and I did not get the girl. »
« I think you did now, I repeat what do you expect from her. »
« Dad please stop talking, keep your energy, your strengths. »
The Captain took Nate's arms in his hand, on that moment Nate knew that his father was going to die. So he gave his father the answer as apparently it was important for him
« I want her to understand that I will always be here for her, no matter what, the good and the bad. I want her to see me as her life's partner. »
«Life is not easy Nate but love is most beautiful thing. Look at me and your mum, not always easy but I would not change our lives because I love your mother so much and you. »
« I love you too and now please stop talking. The ambulance is here. »
The Captain sighed one last time and closed his eyes
They took the Captain and Nate to Lenox. Nate called his mother while watching the doctors trying to resuscitate his father.
...
At the hospital
Anne arrived few minutes after the ambulance, she was with her father. The doctors did resuscitate the Captain but they explained to Nate and Anne that the end was near.
« I am sorry but there is nothing we can do. It is a question of minutes, may be hours. I am sorry Mrs Archibald, Mister Archibald, Mister Van Det Bilt »
« Can we see him. » asked Anne
« Yes you can and if you want to call friends or family so they can come to say goodbye it is now. »
William said that he was going to take care of it
«Go to see him, I take care of the rest. »
Anne took her son hand and they went to see the Captain one last time. He was in his bed awake but too weak to speak however he tried to smile. Nate and Anne sat on each side of the bed and the Captain took their hands.
Anne was crying and Nate was lost in his thoughts. Why does life have to be so complicated. Few hours ago, he woke up from a real dream next to the woman he has always loved, he was happy and now he was about to loose one of the persons that he loves the most. Yesterday, somehow he thought that he had lost Serena but it was his dad the one that he was going to loose.
Was this karma, a life for a life. He had the feeling that it had been Serena or his dad and it was breaking him.
As if the Captain could read his thoughts, he looked into his son eyes and hold his hand stronger.
« That's life son and life is unfair sometimes » murmured the Captain before to close his eyes forever but Nate was still feeling guilty. He was also thinking that it was his fault, if he had not leave last night, nobody would have been preoccupied, his father would not have been preoccupied or stressed. Doctors said that it was important to avoid those things.
Nate really got the feeling that it was his father or Serena and the worst is that even if he would have known that he had to choose he was not sure whom he would have chosen, his father or the love of his life. His father wanted to see him with Serena, happy and with a family, well Nate believed that he had to get it no matter what because if not his father died for nothing