Aracelis let out a sigh, reluctantly releasing him from her arms. He did the same, already knowing that she had decided it was time to go pester Orihime.
For the last hour, after he had returned from his shower and changed clothes again, he laid down on the bed with her without a hint of protest. In fact, he had wrapped his arms around her and brought her closer while she was still distracted by him willingly joining her without her having to convince him. She ended up with her head under his chin- strategic on his part, assuming he was avoiding her gaze so he could think without her seeing any expressions he made. Their limbs were a tangled mess as they tried to hold onto each other while still laying on their sides, protruding mask remnants not helping matters. No matter how awkward the positioning, neither had moved to give up on embracing the other. Ulquiorra remained as stiff as a board, and felt like an ice block, but he had placed one hand on the back of her head, occasionally messing with her hair. Before she had nodded off, she had been rubbing his back in small circles so she didn't 'scare' him away with the affection. Neither spoke the entire time; they merely took solace in each other's presence. It only cemented Aracelis's feeling that something was troubling him.
That had to come to end eventually, of course. Ulquiorra, she thought he probably needed some alone time to sort through his own thoughts since he wasn't ready to discuss anything. A few hours and then maybe, just maybe, he might share some of what had been bothering him. She hoped. If he did, and if she knew what had happened, then it might be easier to help him feel better. Her attempt at comforting him just by contact, she wasn't sure how effective it had been. She wanted to see if she could find a way to talk to him. If he started the conversation, things would definitely be easier.
Ulquiorra got up first, immediately setting to work on adjusting his clothes. Couldn't have his coattails wrinkled; that would be against his very nature. She watched for a second before smiling to herself as she got up to fix her own shirt. She was back to mentally calling him 'cute' for his little quirks.
Honestly, she felt a lot better now. Not as anxious about making some catastrophic mistake enough to make him hate her, or as doubtful that he cared about her. She certainly knew she loved him- which might be the cause of her current mood. Felt like she'd fallen for him all over again. Incessant worrying had hazed over the euphoria of the silly emotion. She'd probably relapse the moment she got stressed again, but, for right now, she was enjoying herself. It helped that instinct stayed away for the last hour. That let her be cheerful and consider what the hell the voice actually was. Still no breakthrough on that, but she had a few questions she hoped Ulquiorra could answer for her later.
When he took a step closer to her, she glanced away from the hem of her shirt to his face. She smiled again when he flipped a strand of her hair back into place. So meticulous. Now that they were both in what he deemed presentable condition, he walked past her, arm brushing hers as he went to fetch their swords from the desk. His concept of personal space had really changed, she noted. He no longer stood at such a great distance, nor avoided touching her at all costs. Before he could escape the room entirely, she caught up to his side, following him into the hall.
The trip to Orihime's remained in a comfortable silence.
She concentrated on finding where the humans had ended up. Ever so faintly, she finally pinpointed them as being in a section of the Menos Forest. How they ended up there was anyone's guess. Aisslinger and Demoura had been slain, their energy no longer in existence. Somehow the humans had escaped being crushed by the room. If she wasn't mistaken, a few more had joined their ranks as well- soul reapers this time. Too far to tell which ones, but presumably they were more friends of Orihime's. That could be the information she exchanged in return for Orihime's assistance.
Upon reaching the door, Ulquiorra pushed it to the side for her. She would have struggled with how her shoulder still ached dully- he must have noticed her right arm had not been holding him as tight as usual. She stepped inside the new room- which, unsurprisingly looked exactly the same- so he could close the door behind her. He kept his promise, Aracelis sensing him move out of earshot to afford her some privacy.
Orihime stared back at her with wide eyes, wringing her hands together in her lap as she sat on the couch. She had changed her clothes- another uniform had been brought to her considering the first must have been blown apart with the rest of her previous cell. Same style though. The Arrancar uniform… It didn't suit the human girl. Too white and clean and, well, boring. She looked pale. Her eyes had dark circles under them too, like she hadn't been sleeping. Aracelis could understand that, as Las Noches was a strange place filled with hostile monsters. Still, the girl might get sick if she kept it up. The exhaustion and stress caused by being dragged from the Soul Society to the Land of the Living and then to Hueco Mundo, and then being attacked by Clematis, it wore the human down immensely judging her appearance. Couldn't have her dying, though. No, that would go against Aizen's orders.
Aracelis had brilliant way to begin her conversation.
"So, I see you're alive still. That's, ah, pretty impressive." Orihime looked at her like she was completely insane. Girl didn't look as fearful, at least. "Just so you know, I, um, didn't mean to try to kill you or anything. That… that had been an accident?" Could attempted murder be called an accident? She had no idea why that had happened, honestly. Instinct choosing Orihime to target instead of Clematis didn't make sense to her. "Feeling better now, so on the off chance that happens again, Ulquiorra's still nearby."
"Okay," Orihime answered hesitantly, still appearing quite suspicious.
"I have a few questions." Aracelis made an effort to walk slowly as not to startle Orihime. Maybe her spiritual pressure was bothering her, setting the human on edge even if it wasn't meant as a threat display. And, well, who would believe an Arrancar telling you they won't attack you again? You'd have to be an idiot to trust a hollow. Once she made it the other side of the couch, sitting as far away as possible, she continued. "Ulquiorra wouldn't tell me what happened after Clematis had grabbed me. I understand he's likely told you to refrain from sharing certain details, so just tell me anything you can."
Orihime nodded, gathering her thoughts first. "Clematis had slammed you into the ground until you fell unconscious. She stabbed you through your stomach, and then went to slam you into the floor again. Ulquiorra went to free you, but he ended up tangled in her vines too after tossing you away. She used her ability on him. I had tried to get loose, but Clematis noticed. She told me to –"
Aracelis's eyes went wide as her spiritual pressure tried to shrink away to return to absorbing energy. Orihime caught the change too, her eyes widening in panic again.
'Another word from her, and I'm not staying quiet.'
"Stop," Aracelis ordered immediately. Damn instinct... Before the fluctuation called in Ulquiorra, she settled with the stupid voice's demands. "Don't say anything about what Clematis said to me." Damn thing just had to wake up now. Probably because she wasn't hanging off of Ulquiorra anymore. Stupid thing still hated them being affectionate. Of course, it also knew Ulquiorra wouldn't tell her anything, but the human would totally reveal all of its precious secrets. The second she entered the room, she felt a bit unsteady to the point she wanted to sit down. Well, it was just instinct throwing a hissy fit after being woken up from its nap.
"O-okay." Orihime shifted nervously before starting again. "Once Clematis let go of Ulquiorra, you started attacking me. He stabbed your shoulder until you fell unconscious again."
Not helpful. Okay, it sort of was because she knew that Clematis had said something that instinct didn't want her to know. It likely led to instinct targeting Orihime, allowing Clematis to make her escape. It also explained why her shoulder still hurt. Ulquiorra likely used his sword too, considering the wound hadn't been a gaping hole like his hand would make. She probably wouldn't be walking around so easily if he had done that. "How was he acting?"
Orihime frowned in confusion before finally asking, "You mean Ulquiorra?"
"Yeah. I thought 'he' would get that across." Ulquiorra had been the only male around to her knowledge. Unless Orihime was referring to instinct for some reason. Which would make a vague amount of sense. She'd heard an unexplained masculine voice in her head before. Might explain why instinct hated her naughty thoughts about Ulquiorra and its love for comparing breast sizes too- it always had been rather perverted. Gross. "How was Ulquiorra acting during this all?" She had hints to deal with instinct, but none for Ulquiorra yet.
"I…" Orihime trailed off, eyes on her hands as she continued fidgeting nervously. If she had seen something, Ulquiorra must have told her to be quiet about it. When Orihime turned her attention back on Aracelis, the girl had a frightening look of determination on her face. "Aracelis, do you love Ulquiorra?"
Dumbfounded didn't begin to cover how Aracelis felt. She opened her mouth, no response forming; just some embarrassing sputtering. Finally she snapped her mouth closed, crossing her arms over her chest to hopefully appearing annoyed and not defensive. She took a few moments to find words to play off the accusation that came from nowhere. "W-what are you talking about? I said that I didn't love anybody. That I'd been asking questions is all." Orihime looked back at her, not interrupting, but also not buying a single word she said. The girl appeared to be patiently waiting for the truth to come out. "What did Clematis show you?" Logically, the weed would have spouted something like that off because that's what she did. She shared private information with anyone that could hear.
"No! No, she didn't show me anything," she shouted out, waving her hands in front of her. The panic in her voice… Clematis had shown her something. Might not be that Aracelis loved Ulquiorra, but something. The only one probably willing to share what that was, was unfortunately the weed. "I figured it out on my own."
Aracelis gave up, leaning back to stare at the ceiling in defeat. Girl wouldn't lie. If Clematis had been involved in revealing her poorly kept secret, Orihime wouldn't have said she figured it out on her own. Nope, Aracelis knew it had been her fault. "I can't keep anything a secret." She wondered if he'd be upset that the human knew too. Orihime was rather harmless though. He… he didn't get too upset that Grimmjow figured out they were a thing, so…
"Don't worry," Orihime quickly said, "I actually got the impression from Ulquiorra that you two were together, and I just wanted to know if that's why you'd been asking me about love. It's just knowing that, maybe I can answer your other questions, or-"
"You're absolutely insane, you know? Offering to help me still…" Seriously, the girl was nuts. Too helpful for her own good, ignoring the boundaries between enemy and friend if it meant making others happy. She seemed to ignore her own wellbeing when it came to helping others- she did come to Hueco Mundo alone after all. Aracelis, she understood that better than she cared to admit, although she was only helpful towards one person. Not enemies. "I don't know whether to believe you or not, either. What the hell did Ulquiorra do to give you that impression?" Her panic, it had been about some other bit of information the weed disclosed. Likely something Ulquiorra told her to keep silent about or face his wrath. She found it odd that it wasn't the fact they were 'together,' though. He hated that secret being exposed.
"After Clematis ran away, he had immediately picked you up and held you. Whenever he looked at you, I'm sure I saw his expression soften. He treated you more gently than… than I believed someone like him capable of," she said with a touch of guilt, like doubting people made her some sort of monster. At least she was honest. Ulquiorra didn't give off the impression of someone that had friends. Just a cold wall indifferent to the world and everyone in it. Aracelis never expected him to be the one to break the façade while in front of others. He definitely hadn't been acting as his rational self. Whatever Clematis had shown him paired with worrying about her being injured, it had gotten to him.
"I tried asking and he refused to say anything," Orihime added with the tiniest frown of annoyance. The old, 'I'm not answering because you're right and I'm not about to admit it.' Aracelis's favorite. For Orihime to try asking anything, though, she had some serious guts. "But you two, I could see you had a bond even if he tried to deny it. I then thought since you'd asked me all of those questions about love, that maybe he was the one you had been talking about. You do, right?"
"Y-yeah," she mumbled, eyes on the floor as she felt her face heat up with embarrassment. Didn't matter if it was the truth, a hollow shouldn't be so open about having such human emotions. It bothered her to admit it, but it needed to be done. No progress would be made otherwise. "I… I can't really tell if he… you know. He's not exactly open about how he feels, and his minimal reactions don't help much. How indifferent he acts doesn't help either. Sometimes it's like I'm talking to a damn wall." She had no idea how much she wanted to vent all her pent up frustrations about him. Kind of nice having another person to force to listen instead of trying to yell at Ulquiorra for all of his annoying habits.
"I can't tell you how he actually feels, since I don't really know him, but he appears to care for you," Orihime offered, the best comfort the girl had for her.
"I… I know." He might show it in particularly strange ways sometimes, but he did. He cared more than she had originally thought. She didn't doubt that anymore. "It's just," she pouted, glaring at the ground. "You've talked to him, or at him. You've seen how he is. Talking about stupid feelings and emotions is like dancing around a minefield!" She threw her hands up. "One wrong thing and off he walks! Or better, he just ends the discussion with silence!" After huffing in annoyance, she lowered her arms to cross them over her chest again. "And… and he sort of ordered when we started this 'relationship' that there would be no discussing it," she quietly admitted. "I had agreed but now I want to tell him that I… you know…"
"You're scared," Orihime finished the thought. Aracelis turned her attention back on the girl, who had now hung her head sadly, her eyes focused on her lap. "You don't know how he will react, and you don't want him to leave because even your current situation is better than him being gone. Because keeping your friendship is more important than how you feel."
"That come from experience?"
Orihime nodded solemnly before looking back up at her with determination. "But I think you should at least try talking with him about it. I think Ulquiorra would listen to how you feel." The confidence in those words made Aracelis raise an eyebrow. Orihime herself apparently refused to tell Ichigo how she felt, but her advice was to do the exact opposite of her. That was probably why she said to do it, though, because not talking hadn't gotten her anywhere. "He cares about you. Because of that, I think that since not talking about it is bothering you, he'll at least listen. He wouldn't want you to be sad if he loves you too."
"You're very… optimistic." Otherwise what she would call naïve, if not stupid. She was right though. A few hours ago, she decided that if she did ask to discuss their relationship, he would at least listen to what she had to say. He cared about how she felt, going as far as letting her do almost whatever she pleased to placate her. Having someone agree with what she wanted to try made it easier to believe this was the correct decision. Still… He was pretty damn intimidating. The prospect of being turned down worried her as well- she could not escape that weird fear he might reject her entirely, even if he was more likely to just ignore her.
She stood up abruptly, making Orihime's head jerk to keep looking at her. Luckily Orihime missed her swaying, about to fall back over with the sudden vertigo she felt. Instinct... "Been nice chatting with you." Ulquiorra was still waiting outside, and she didn't want to waste his time. She got the information she needed, for the most part, so she didn't need to stay longer than she already had. Orihime stared back at her with eyes nearly begging her to stay- she wanted company, even if it came from a hollow that had tried to attack her a few hours earlier. She must have some information about instinct to be this trusting that Aracelis wouldn't harm her. "You should sleep for a while; you look like a wreck." As she began walking back to the door she noticed an untouched meal on the small table off to the side. "Eat something too. Keep this up and Ulquiorra's bound to get angry with you." No response. She shrugged, not wanting to force the issue herself- Ulquiorra could do that, since he was already on the girl's bad side. She'd warned her. If Orihime chose to do otherwise, the consequences were hers to deal with. "Oh, and since you answered my questions, I have a bit of information about your friends for you."
"What is it?" she quickly asked, but her voice remaining meek. She was unsure if she wanted to hear, but also curious at the same time.
"Don't know why or how, but they moved away from Las Noches to a place called the Menos Forest. Two others joined them; soul reapers I believe, unless they are just more oddities like Ichigo. They all seem to be fine at the moment."
"Thank goodness," Orihime said under breath, already being absorbed into her own thoughts. Maybe she was trying to identify which of her friends had shown up; Aracelis doubted she could do that at this distance, though. That wouldn't stop the concerned human girl from trying.
Aracelis lost interest, walking towards the door again in hopes Ulquiorra would open it for her. The way her vision spun in nauseating waves with each step, she knew she needed to go lay down. Otherwise she would be taking a nap on the floor, adding to Ulquiorra's stress. Perhaps instinct had been asleep before, recovering from the damage, and now woke up to force her to rest to recover completely. That bastard, it took extreme caution whenever she was even slightly injured and had expended a decent amount of spiritual pressure. Stupid, inconvenient tag-along, trying to order her around while preventing her from doing what she wanted. Orihime knew a lot more than instinct allowed her to ask.
The door opening in front of her made her let out a small sigh of relief. Then she began snickering to herself, earning a curious look from Ulquiorra. As soon as the door was closed behind her, she teased him. "Such a gentleman, opening doors." 'For your 'lady friend' she mentally finished. He stared at her for a second before closing his eyes at her strange humor. She would have to keep pretending she wasn't one wrong step away from fainting.
Just as she opened her mouth to say something, she stumbled a step backwards- if she had a heart it would leapt into her throat. Ulquiorra grabbed her wrist to keep her from face diving into the ground. The moment she had regained enough balance to keep on her feet, she glared at the servant vacantly staring at her theatrics. Standing far off to the side was the servant with their lower face covered in a mask, a notebook held open in front of them. She hadn't been paying attention, not expecting anyone else to be around. Didn't help that instinct was screwing with her senses…
The familiarity of her senses malfunctioning. Damn. Yet another major issue instinct had played a part in.
"You are dismissed," Ulquiorra's flat voice said from beside her, drawing her attention back to him. Even in front of the servant, he didn't immediately drop her wrist. Did… did they already know, so he saw no point in pretending otherwise? She nearly wanted to smack herself when she saw their reaming wounds still in the process of healing. Clematis, her vines left that pattern of cuts and bruising. She'd been gathering information for a while now. Preparing for an opportunity to accomplish whatever harebrained goal she had. Aizen's timing for that meeting couldn't have been worse. If she wanted- and she did- she could blame the prick for letting this happen. Clematis only made her move because he had called Ulquiorra away.
The servant bowed politely before turning on their heel to fast-walk away. They knew better than to stick around when Aracelis and Ulquiorra were annoyed.
"What was that about?" she asked, not able to contain her curiosity. The two of the them had been discussing something judging by the amount of scribbling she'd seen on the mute servant's notebook. She had been wondering how they communicated, the obvious answer too obvious for her to guess.
"The human girl refuses to eat," Ulquiorra stated before changing the subject. "You are off balance."
"Yeah, I… I need to go lay down is all." So much for avoiding him noticing. "I'll be fine. I guess I was more tired than I realized." She wanted the topic off of her right now, but what else to say… "Oh, yeah, um, I noticed she must not be sleeping either. It's going to be a problem soon, huh?"
His only response to her panicky need to change topics was to stare at her blankly. When he turned away, pulling her along to follow him, she saw it as him allowing the subject to be dropped. "Did you learn what you wished from the woman?"
"For the most part. Thank you for letting me talk to her again." He only glanced at her from the corner of his eye to acknowledge her gratitude. "You know," she began, swinging her arm as much as she dared without throwing herself off balance, "I don't mind you holding onto me Ulquiorra, but this vice grip business is a bit much." Firmly dragging her along like a misbehaving child wasn't exactly the ideal. He loosened his hold, not giving any comment. Surprised he didn't drop her wrist, she smiled, staying quiet as they walked.
"Ulquiorra," she began again as they reached the floor their room was on. "After I sleep for a while, I have a couple of questions to ask you."
"Dependent on the question, I may answer."
"Jerk," she muttered, shaking her head. Like she didn't already know he would avoid answering things. "Seriously, though, it's something important." Instinct, she intended on asking him what he knew of it, or at least gather a bit more information to further piece together what the voice exactly was on her own. If that didn't end in them arguing, and if he seemed like he was in a better mood, then maybe she would try bringing up the topic of their relationship. Or what had upset him so much earlier. Right now, she could tell from his earlier grip that he was still quite tense and on edge. For him to be so annoyed by every little thing… She wanted to know what Clematis had shown him. That stupid curiosity kept nagging at her even if she knew asking would be akin to antagonizing him.
"Hm," was he response. Funnily, it was more than he usually gave, which showed he had taken notice of the importance of her request. Ignoring her completely, letting her assume whether he heard or not, it would upset her. He tried to avoid that.
He didn't speak again until she was stepping into their room, already noticing he didn't intend to follow. "I will be back later," he said purely out of politeness- verbally telling her what she would have figured out eventually, it was a strange form of curtesy to her. The second she muttered an 'okay' he turned on his heel to walk off.
She noticed that he still had her sword. Being that he wasn't likely to forget he was carrying around something, he had taken it on purpose. While instinct had been in control, in order to earn this amount of caution from Ulquiorra, it had done more than just swing her sword around. No, it must have tried entering her resurrección. How desperate had it been to kill Orihime and why? That timid human with healing abilities didn't warrant the over the top reaction of using her sword release, even if Ulquiorra had stepped in.
As she let herself fall onto the bed, she knew that she had a lot to consider before Ulquiorra returned.
Ulquiorra continued down the hall, on his way back to their room after having aimlessly wandered around for a few hours in a vain attempt to regain control of himself. That ridiculous sadness that had been an aftereffect of reliving the human's memories, that had waned, but it left him irrationally irritated. The fact he felt so annoyed only annoyed him more. Most of the irritation stemmed from his distaste for his own pathetic reaction to Clematis's silly attempt to mentally traumatize him, but there were a few other things that didn't improve his mood.
Orihime was one. The girl, she may have kept from telling Aracelis what she knew, but this hunger strike would not be allowed to continue for much longer. The servants in charge of feeing her reported that she hadn't eaten anything since her arrival in Las Noches, and drank a minimal amount of water. Staying alive was her duty to Aizen- and if she failed to do that, then Ulquiorra failed his task as well. A few more days, and if she still did not break her fast, he would be force feeding her if that's what it took. Bothersome human…
Aracelis, she was another thing bothering him. Trying to cover up the obvious fact she was seconds away from collapsing like he wouldn't notice… Mirro had either been seeking to prevent her from asking the woman about what had transpired, or he had been attempting to make her pass out to take control to attempt to kill Orihime once more. He hadn't missed the change in her spiritual pressure earlier- he only allowed her to stay because she immediately regained control. Worrying about her continued to annoy him. But, with every additional fact he learned about Mirro, his concern intensified to leave behind that annoyance… Above all, he wanted her safe. This onslaught of foreign emotions was more tolerable than her being injured.
The other minor irritant was simply that he felt cold. Physically, he felt freezing cold to the point it bothered even him. In all likelihood, it was related to that human's memories of nearly dying of hypothermia and later the combination of blood loss and numbing rain- Clematis's ability had been able to replicate it to a degree. Admittedly, he did have streaks of being uncomfortably cold before this as well, but a shower typically solved the issue. This time, however, he would have to resort to something else since his usual methods had failed him. Only one other thing managed to get him warm quickly… Even if he wasn't exactly in the mood for fooling around with Aracelis, it would at least help him get rid of this absurd chill he had. She seemed to treat it as a way to relieve stress, so perhaps it work for him as well. He doubted it, but anything for a distraction. Unless she didn't, in which case he would be needing to find something else to occupy himself with.
Upon arriving in their room, he found the bed an empty mess of blankets and pillows. He could hear the shower running. She had finally gone to wash herself. He had considered ordering her to do so earlier, as she had still faintly smelled of blood. Merely using a damp towel had not removed all the grim caked to her skin. Choosing to take a shower rather than leaving the room, obviously Mirro hadn't taken over while she was asleep. She must be able to stand without dizziness now as well. Catching her now, he had good timing.
As soon as he opened the bathroom door, not trying to be quiet, he heard her sigh heavily. "Ulquiorra, I swear," she grumbled. "Just barging in whenever you want." He imagined she was pouting as well. Apparently, even when he did not attempt to hide his entrance, he scared her when he walked into the room while she was showering. The first time she had slipped, which was wholly amusing to him because hurting herself hadn't been a concern- in fact, she had smashed her mask into the marble and had chipped the stone. She had been horribly embarrassed as well, both by her clumsiness and being unclothed- he hadn't enjoyed the mortified look she had. Her strange sense of modesty; he'd seen her undressed, so why continue to be uncomfortable about it? "Can we talk when I get dressed? I'll be done soon." As he expected; she wouldn't want to discuss what she deemed an important manner while naked.
She returned to ignoring him when he didn't answer, interpreting his silence as acceptance of her terms. He set their swords on the counter before shrugging off his shirt. "Are you staying?" she asked, sounding bother curious and suspicious, her having heard his shirt zipper being undone. After undressing the rest of the way and placing his clothes on the counter- as well as picking Aracelis's abandoned clothes off of the floor- he stepped into the shower with her. Her face was already dark red, her arm held over her chest. 'It's different' she had told him before when he questioned why she would bother covering herself still. After a second she rolled her eyes at him. She did it again, this time more dramatically, when he changed the water temperature to what was nearing scalding- it's not like it would burn either of them; even her skin wasn't that weak.
As her lips began to form the word 'what,' he closed the small gap between them to press his lips to hers. For a second she didn't respond to his lips moving against hers, but after an annoyed growl she flung her arms around him to pull herself closer.
After a few minutes, he felt his brow twitching to form a frustrated frown. No matter how much he tried to force himself to focus on feeling over her body and his lips on her skin, it didn't help. He still felt annoyed. He still felt cold. His body didn't react to her touch at all. For once, he didn't want to feel indifferent towards having sex with her. Of course, the one time he wanted to lose control in this manner, it wouldn't work.
"Ulquiorra," she said softly as they parted to breath. "Do you want to continue or can we stop here?"
He let out a small, defeated sigh. "Is my mood that obvious to you?" Earlier, she had been attempting to comfort him despite the fact he was attempting to provide such to her- as she was the one who needed it. Stubbornly she kept trying. Even though she had shown concern and curiosity towards the fact he had something on his mind, she stopped asking because he refused to tell her. No matter how hard he tried to avoid having her notice his mood, she had known from the moment she had woken up. Hiding how he felt, it was becoming a pointless effort.
"No, it never is with you," she sighed before leaning forward rest her forehead on his shoulder. "I guess your mood most of the time. Earlier you'd seemed depressed, but now you sort of seem pissed off. You're… I don't know… Tense? Stressed? Fooling around, it might momentarily distract you from whatever you're considering, but afterwards you always seem to get even more stressed. I mean, if you still want to, I will, but-"
"Aracelis," he said to break up her rambling. She was correct, although she exaggerated his mood. Annoyed and 'pissed off' were two very different things. It seemed a lie that she guessed how he felt at any given time, though, considering her accuracy. She was too afraid of misinterpreting something that it kept her from admitting she could read his moods incredibly well. She knew his habits and expressions better than anyone else after all. Even lacking observation skills like she did, she constantly put effort into trying to understand how he felt. No one else was as persistent, or patient, with him as her. He didn't want her to continue assuming she was wrong. "How did you conclude my mood?"
"I told you," she mumbled, voice taking on an edge. Did she fear he would be upset by her assumptions? "I guessed. I got lucky, is all."
"That was no mere guess. I only wish to know how you arrived at your conclusion." When she still didn't answer, he gave up. "You were correct".
Her head shot up to look at him. "I… I was right? About both?" She stared at him in shock when he nodded slightly.
"I would not use words as extreme as you had," he added, not about to let her believe he had been in that much turmoil- even if 'turmoil' would be an apt description for the amount of confusion he was in.
"You were really quiet, and didn't want to leave me alone. I mean, you didn't even go shower right away. I know you hate being dirty," she said with a slight laugh. That must have been why she seemed absolutely stunned. She had assumed he had been able to leave her alone, that his concern hadn't distracted him from one of his habits. "You avoided eye contact a few times. You were being oddly nice, which you also had done after testing Segunda Etapa on me. I… I guess your eyes looked sad too, although I can't really describe how because the rest of your face didn't have much expression. In the very least I knew you were really confused and upset looking." She paused for a second, looking past him. "And when you came in here, I knew you have been either looking for a distraction or bored. Between when I went to sleep and woke up, you had wandered around most of the tower. Your kissing was a bit more needy than usual, but you, um…" her eyes flickered downward, her face getting quite red when she caught herself. "You didn't really seem into it, yet kept kissing me. Not typical behavior from you. Considering what happened earlier with what weed-face had done, as well as Orihime not being a good prisoner, I assumed you had to be quite annoyed at this point."
"Why did you say you guessed when you obviously analyzed my behavior?" She had all of this, yet she chose to say she 'guessed.' Her hesitance was unwarranted. He wanted her to see that.
"I… I thought maybe I'd imagined it. Or I was overthinking," she said quietly. "I mean, you… You usually don't react to anything. Because of the memories Clematis showed me, I thought maybe I was assuming you would react similarly, which would be wrong. And I really wasn't sure what to say because you still seemed upset hours later even after I had calmed down."
"You are more emotional." He made sure not to lose her attention before finishing by moving his hand under her chin. "The human memories, you were better able to cope with the emotions because you, even as a hollow, hold an understanding of them." She may have initially been overwhelmed, but she knew how to identify how she felt, and how to cope. "Your reaction made sense given your nature." She had asked the woman, undoubtedly, if Clematis had used her ability on him. He had not restricted the girl from sharing as much. Might as well tell Aracelis to perhaps appease her concerns for a time. "The memories I had been shown were vastly different from my mindset to the point I did not understand. The emotions were foreign and conflicting." A partial lie. He could recognize some; he agreed with some to a degree. No one would be knowing that, though. He would take the fact he and that human had similarities to his grave. "I was forced to pick apart what was my reaction and which was that human's. I found the process irritating."
"Were your memories bad ones?" she asked, completely glazing over the point of the conversation. When it became apparent he wouldn't be answering she gave up, appearing disappointed he wouldn't share anything while she had shared some of hers. "Thanks for telling me that much, though. It helps, because it's really hard to see what specifically is going on in your head most of the time. I just get a few reactions and expressions that I don't know how to interpret with one-hundred percent accuracy, which worries me. I don't want to say something wrong and upset you more."
She glanced away again, mulling over her next words. "I know that some of this actually stems from my human past, so I'm going to try to stop being so… scared… of being wrong. You wouldn't hurt me." He felt his chest seemingly tighten at that. He scared her, even if she said he was different, because he reminded her of that human garbage in her past. "You're helping, too, by pointing some these stupid fears I have and trying to get me to see what's going on. There's, ah, one other thing you could do to help, if you're willing," she muttered, nerves showing through in her last sentence. She bit her lip as she paused, moving her hand to lightly grasp at his wrist. "I… I know that you don't want to talk about this, but I just… I have an irrational fear that you might toss me away once you get bored of me." Her voice had become a whisper about to crack with barely restrained sadness. He couldn't tell if she had shed a few tears or if it had been water; both were equally likely. To force out her honest fear, it took her a lot of effort. Him leaving her, this prospect terrified her still. He… he understood that, which startled him. A sense of abandonment, that had been very prevalent in his human memories as well. And his hollow memories. The feeling, it was empathy for her. "So I just… I want to know what… What you think of me as. Am I just something expendable to you? This relationship entertainment? Do I… Do I mean anything to you?"
He stayed quiet for a second, trying to think. Staying silent for too long, though, would give her the impression he was either lying or didn't care enough to answer. That would potentially break her. But this question seemed unanswerable. He had tried again and again to decide what she meant to him. The words humans used involved having a heart. He didn't. He had no idea what he felt towards her because he did not have a heart. He simply didn't. He couldn't. That would not change no matter how important she was to him.
"I… I in the very least consider you a friend," he said, not finding other words to quickly string together in some semblance of truth. Only she could make him feel so absurdly panicked by asking a single question. But this he knew. In the very least he thought of her as a friend and ally. He had for quite some time, even if he tried to deny their close bond. He cared about her- perhaps nearing how she seemed to care for him. "I would prefer to stay in your company as long as you wish."
"Really?" She gave a small smile. Calling her a friend, that's all it took to meet her low expectations of him. "You think of me as a friend? I never thought I'd hear you say that so sincerely… since every other time you've said 'friend' you've sounded suspicious, if not a bit disgusted, by the concept." That struck him because he automatically knew he'd caused some of her hesitancy. She had called him her friend before, yet every time he spoke the word he made it seem like he was repulsed by the idea- and, by default, Aracelis for considering him such. "I wasn't sure if that was you just being annoyed by the humans constantly doing strange things in the name of friendship, or if you thought the entire idea was stupid. I didn't think you'd say you were my friend, even if I really should have seen that already." At least she had noticed he treated her as such- she had a habit of taking his words so seriously that actions were forgotten, which was not helpful considering he acted more than spoke.
"Is this the important matter you wished to discuss?" he asked following a few minutes of her happily smiling to herself. He had expected she would ask something like this the moment she said 'important.' Her priorities tended to skew towards confirming that he did, in fact, like her.
"Nope."
Her answer almost made him raise an eyebrow.
"I mean, this entire conversation has been very important to me." The soft smile she gave expressed that this meant everything to her. She had wanted more openness, and miraculously she got it. He… he didn't think telling her things was as bad as he had thought, either. "It's just not what I mentioned earlier. I'd wanted to talk to you about all of this, just essentially in the opposite order, since it's something, I don't know, risky?" He discovered he had absolutely no idea what she wanted. Risky? Did she not consider this conversation 'risky?' Instead it was a question unrelated to their relationship. How… curious. "Can we talk after we get dressed, though? This is… awkward." She pressed her lips together, glancing off to the side again. He barely remembered they were in the shower, but of course she would. To keep from getting flustered by carrying on a conversation completely nude, she hadn't been able to look at the ground the entire time. "And, even if it's not something I want to talk about right now 'cause it will ruin the mood, this might be the best opportunity I get," she added as an afterthought.
As he turned around to get out of the shower and turn off the water, she freed his wrist. She stayed behind, most likely intending to wait until he left the room to dry off. Instead, when she peeked out to see what was taking so long for him to leave, he nailed her in the face with a towel. She tried to hold back from giggling, but the snickering that escaped made it obvious she thought it was hilarious; his attempt at humor had elicited some cheerfulness out of her. She had been very concerned with what would be discussed next, so, before adding to each other's stress once more, he figured he should try doing something. Her laughter relaxed him some too, bizarrely. He didn't feel as cold now, either, that issue solved at some point during their conversation. After he redressed himself and returned their swords to his sash, he handed Aracelis her clothes before stepping out to give her her apparently necessary privacy.
Once Aracelis emerged from the bathroom fully clothed, it became apparent that she felt anxious. She had her arms crossed over her chest, lips pursed, and eyes narrowed suspiciously as she appeared to listen for something for a few moments. After stepping within arm's reach of him, she bit her lip, glancing at her sword and then the desk where the drawing he had given her rested.
"I'll start with when I first noticed something," she began, voice not as hesitant as it had been earlier. A topic not involving feelings, then. She could be reasonably confident when speaking about things besides their relationship. "After using Segunda Etapa on me, I noticed that you had been acting different. I don't know entirely what happened while I was passed out, but I know you ended up stabbing me to get me to stop. I-"
"If you knew, why did you not mention it sooner than this?" he interrupted despite himself. His question certainly came out as demanding as well. It upset him that she would excuse him punching a hole through her for any reason. If she already knew this, then she may have connected her most recent shoulder injury to him as well. She hadn't mentioned it either.
"I…" He'd taken her off guard, so she paused to gather a response. "It seemed like you regretted it. A lot. I didn't want to mention it because I didn't want to upset you more by needlessly talking about it. I wanted to wait until I knew why." She waited, staring back at him patiently as he took in her words. 'Until I knew why.' Those words scared him. If she knew about Mirro, would he allow her to live or double his efforts to kill her? How much had she figured out? How much danger was she now in? He didn't want to accidentally worsen the situation; he had to listen to what she had concluded before responding.
"I know something happened that caused you to attack, like I said right after it happened, but I didn't have any idea what until you told me what happened when we went to recruit those hollows," she continued. "I attacked you." The guilt for an action that wasn't hers remained. He… he should have lied and said she hadn't done that. He certainly wouldn't tell her the parasite had used her to attack him earlier, resulting in more injury than the other incident. "I probably did again after you showed me Segunda Etapa too. And again, when I went after Orihime and then presumably you. Each time I had passed out after being overwhelmed by injuries. Each time… each time I hadn't been in control." She shifted uncomfortably as she quietly stated, "There isn't something wrong with me. The reason I can't use my resurrección at will. The reason I can't always control my ability to draw in energy or release it. You said yourself that I could have been an Espada if I had control."
He had nothing to say. She knew. She had some idea that she did not control her own abilities, but acted as a puppet at the parasite's command. It had only been a matter of time before she grew suspicious. How she hadn't sooner, with the creature speaking to her, had been a miracle of sorts. Still, even knowing that, he wished she hadn't figured it when he had no definitive way to help her. She had been correct; talking about this was risky.
"Ulquiorra, how would you define instinct?"
A seemingly random question. He would have never guessed that this was the 'important' question that she had for him, but he could tell she had given some thought to the exact thing she wanted to ask. "A natural, automatic response to a given situation. For hollows, many of our instincts are for prolonging our existences. The fear of the more powerful that drives us to flee until we can achieve such power would be one example of instinct."
Bizarrely, she chose to laugh a few times. "Yeah, I should have figured that out a lot sooner than I did. I can be really dense sometimes, you know?" She uncrossed her arms, pointing a finger at her skull. "I have a literal voice that tries to order me around under the guise of being 'instinct.' Had it as long as I've been a hollow. Usually it bothers me when I'm in battle or really scared and upset. Or being an idiot by its standards. Other times it just generally likes to be an asshole." The smile she gave was strained as she added, "It really hates you. I mean, it doesn't like me most of the time either, but it absolutely despises you. And Clematis, too, but mainly you. So much so that every time we even look like we're going to have sex, it fades away for a time! Its hated you since I met you too!" She began pacing back and forth, her hands formed into tight fists at her sides. "Assuming it can take control of my body, or at least interrupt my control and regeneration while I'm awake, back then... When we'd been fighting each other, it saw that you were a lot stronger than me. It told me to run. I decided not to. It tried to kill me for it! And when I woke up it had been freaking out since we were surrounded and injured, but it didn't want to die!" She threw her arms up, teeth gritted and eyes narrowed. He felt himself frown as well, even if he already knew Mirro had caused her to fall onto her sword and make him believe he had killed her. It angered him still. It likely always would. "When we were fighting Ellzea and Clematis the first time, it was pissed that I got injured because I had been watching you, but it still wouldn't let me use my resurrección. When you showed us Segunda Etapa, it had been terrified of you, but it knew you were trying to force it out, so it wanted to let you tear me apart until you decided it was useless. It had been in more pain than I had been when you slashed open my shoulder, so it changed its mind," she growled. "And then going after Orihime for no reason! Every damn time I get hurt, it makes me pass out to take control of my damn body! That disgusting thing uses me! I hate it!" Her spiritual pressure began to spike with her anger.
"Aracelis." Reacting too much, it might draw Mirro's attention.
Her eyes shot to him. Immediately she restrained her spiritual pressure. She began opening and closing her hands instead, trying to calm herself down. "I… I just figured this out a few hours ago," she mumbled. "I'm still upset. It's done and said a lot of things to me. I didn't expect it to be ignoring me right now, either, so I let my emotions run a bit wild." She took a deep breath before looking at him. "You've known something was wrong with me since coming back from that recruitment mission, if not before. Do you know what it is?"
He stared back, refusing to answer. He couldn't risk it. She might believe it to be ignoring her, but with its connection to her brain and her having figured out so much, Mirro might be monitoring her still. If she knew specifically what it was, it may decide to take its chances with killing her and fleeing. Having Ulquiorra after him was one issue; having his host and Ulquiorra was another.
"Yes or no is fine. You've been avoiding telling me this for a reason, and I trust your judgment," she added.
"I do."
She nodded a couple of times. "I won't… I won't try to do anything myself. I don't understand what's going on, so if I tried to do anything I would most likely just injure myself and piss instinct off. You're trying to find a way to get rid of whatever it is, right?"
"Yes."
"I trust you. You're a lot smarter than me, so I know you can figure out how to best help me with whatever's going on."
Her hopeful smile felt like a slap to the face. His last and most viable plan had been thwarted by Clematis. Aracelis knowing as much as she now did, it might cause Mirro to take action. The war with the soul reapers was quickly approaching. He could not focus on Aracelis with the threat of Aizen punishing her for him shirking his duties.
"Oh!" Aracelis almost shouted in her excitement. "I forgot, I have one more thing to tell you. I don't know if it will help any, but I don't know if it's important or not, so I should tell you. Before even meeting Clematis, I remembered how I died as a human." He felt his eyes widen, unable to hide his surprise. No hollow should retain memories from that long ago, especially after evolving to the point she had. "I have a memory of seeing my human body on the ground after being struck by lightning. It almost looked like I was above it. I didn't see any chains, though, so I must have been alive still. A second later there was another flash of lightning with what looked like me getting closer to the body. I assume I died immediately after this memory took place. Can't have survived being struck twice."
His clenched his jaw tightly. For a second he lost control of his spiritual pressure, rage getting the better of him for once. Rage was the only word he could attach to the burning feeling he had at her story. That memory, it wasn't hers. It couldn't be. She had still been alive as a human. Seeing herself from above would have been impossible under the circumstances she described. The misplaced memory…
It was Mirro's.
He suspected that the creature had infected her as a human when she said she had enough spiritual power to see hollows, but suddenly lost the ability after being attacked. The bastard couldn't voluntarily leave her body unless she was near death. He had gotten trapped in her body when she refused to die. Perhaps as a human she had exhibited some of the strange abilities she had now. Absorbing just enough scraps of reishi to keep Mirro from starving completely, but not allowing the parasite to kill her and then leave. When she kept escaping death as a human living under the assumption she had bad luck, her luck was actually incredible. By all rights, she should have died long before reaching adulthood if Mirro had latched onto her as a child. Being struck by lightning must have weakened her enough that Mirro escaped momentarily to look down on her. Why he would then return after finally escaping, Ulquiorra didn't know. Mirro, he might have seen her ability as the perfect food source if she was stronger. If he waited, kept feeding off of her to remain alive and kept soul reapers from sending her soul to the Soul Society, he… He may have allowed her to hollowfy just because her ability was such a convenience. Mirro, he had ruined her human life and prevented her from any salvation her soul may have had in the Soul Society, just to use her as food. Her entire existence had been plagued by this trash. It infuriated him.
Why she had this memory, he didn't know that either. Their minds were connected, however, so it may be possible Mirro hadn't been able to control his own ability as they evolved in parallel. He may have inadvertently shared the memory with her. As she had gained power, so had Mirro. The reason she had been able to reach such heights in power and evolution, it had likely been because Mirro had been directing her towards that goal. While she was mindlessly consumed by hunger, Mirro decided what they should pursue. He located what souls would be most beneficial to him; and by default, Aracelis. But when she became an Arrancar, she gained more power than Mirro was capable of while still hidden inside her- she said she had pulled off her mask because of boredom; Mirro hadn't expected it. While they were both in pain from the transformation, Aizen happened upon them, so Mirro used it as an opportunity to try and prevent her from overpowering him. Aizen made her forget how to use her sword release because, at that point, she was likely the first Vasto Lorde he had encountered. Recruiting the two of them had been important at that time.
She disliked Mirro ordering her around, as it was hollow nature, and her nature, to resent authority. The moment she had more strength, she stopped listening to him like a perfect puppet. She decided she didn't need him to make decisions for her any more. He couldn't take control of her while she was awake unless she was not actively fighting against him. When she had fought Ggio, Mirro decided it was better for her to die so he could find a more compliant host, or perhaps that it was his only option to escape with his life. Ulquiorra saving her had been unexpected, so Mirro decided it would be safer to remain hidden than leave her then. The same had happened when they had fought each other. Ulquiorra, befriending him had angered Mirro to begin with. When he instead spared her life and left her to be finished off by lesser hollows, he woke her up to so he did not die as well. Mirro then decided to keep her for her ability seeing as how he no longer needed to deal with Ulquiorra.
Coming to Las Noches, it had strengthened Mirro's already great hold on Aracelis. He had presumably been able to briefly exit her body with the assistance of Aizen so he could become an Arrancar as well. Mirro clung to Aracelis's ability, accustomed to feeding off of her as she absorbed the energy of those around her. He feared leaving the safety of having her as a host. Already having disliked Ulquiorra for his previous friendship with her, and sparing her life so he had to be trapped with her as she recovered in the human world- and likely feel like he was starving in her once more- it drove Mirro insane. The fact they'd gotten closer worsened his chances of keeping Aracelis's body or surviving leaving her. She as also still stronger than him. Backed into a corner and still possessive of her ability, Mirro had resorted to this stalemate of a battle between them. She was his or no one's, Mirro decided: a wild animal protecting its food source desperately.
Clematis had told him this exact thing. She knew everything about Mirro from the first time she wrapped her vines around Aracelis while the creature had been in control. His best chance of getting rid of Mirro without harming Aracelis… The deranged weed had returned to being in the best position to help him. Damn weed… He wanted to kill that thing, but she had placed herself in a position of relative safety again.
At least now, with what Aracelis shared, he knew how long she had been infected. He could analyze the creature's past reactions, and use it to surmise a possible plan- without having to consult the weed. If he carefully chose his words, he could ask Aracelis questions now as well.
"Ulquiorra?" Aracelis tilted her head to the side, the silence having stretched on. His eyes were narrowed in a deathly glare at her shoulder, tipping her off that he had thought of something. "Did that help or…?"
"It did." His words came out with undue harshness. She didn't seem to be offended by it. Rather, she appeared curious as to why he had gotten upset enough that it affected his behavior and tone. She hadn't pieced it together, then. She didn't Mirro had been present in her while she had been human. She also didn't know it was a parasitic hollow, perhaps thinking a separate hollow being in her impossible since she was a Vasto Lorde and Arrancar. Parasitic hollows were rare, after all, and Mirro would have done anything to prevent her from knowing what he was. With her temper, if she found out any more, she may do something drastic. "Aracelis," he said, raising a hand to rest it on her cheek. Concern, he needed to express it to her. He couldn't risk her learning more. "Cease trying to figure out what 'instinct' is. I believe it may be provoke it into harming you." She laid a hand over his, nodding in understanding, agreeing without an argument. "Trust me to take care of it." He hated telling her to trust him when he didn't necessarily trust himself, but he might not even have a chance to help her if Mirro acted in the midst of this war. He needed to prolong this stalemate. Aracelis couldn't learn more.
"I understand." Completely serious and full of conviction, she said her words like she was a soldier accepting orders. He had been able to get the gravity of the situation across to her. "You've always thought talking about it might be dangerous, so I'll stop trying to figure out what's going since you think that is the best course of action. I trust you." She smiled, squeezing his hand slightly. "I know you're trying to protect me, and I won't let anyone else convince me otherwise anymore."
He remained silent, not having anything else to say, but kept his hand pressed to her face, enjoying the warmth of her hand over his. While he felt unsure about her placing her trust in him, he would do everything in his power to protect her. Even if that meant leaving her- that idea painful, but if his absence meant her survival, then he would no matter how he felt. Failing wasn't an option. He would not lose Aracelis like the human had lost the one he held dear. Losing Aracelis, when he felt this strongly about her, it would destroy him. What he felt for her… it must be how she felt about him with how strong it was becoming.
He wished he could name this feeling.
Long chapter that took a while to edit- it just wasn't 'right' so I waited to post it. Sort of skips around and has a lot of information jammed in it, so hopefully it made sense as a whole.
I added a sketch of Clematis's resurrección on Deviantart (AwkwardBlackCat is my user name) just because I liked how the drawing turned out! I have a sketch of Aracelis and Ellzea on there as well, if anyone hasn't seen those ones yet.
Thank you for reading!
Thank you to Crusader King, Chaos'sBride, Jham Erizelle867, YOSHINA, Aviorn, fairytailbunchan, and Megan Mismatch for favoriting and following!
Thestormwriter123- I'm happy that you liked chapter 34 (and 35 too, but 34 was the big one)! Those dang exams like to ruin all the fun sometimes, huh? And Ulquiorra really is beginning to lose that nihilistic outlook he has, which is a big change for him. I hope this chapter progressed that further because, well, that's where I need him to be. I've stretched out this break when Ichigo's in the menos forest just about long enough (one more chapter and their back in Las Noches, running amok)!