Chapter 36
"Wake up honey. We're home." Rick's low voice murmured in her ear. Hannah blinked tiredly and looked around. Daryl was helping Amelia from the truck and the young girl they had rescued was already out, staring nervously at the ground.
"What time is it?" she rubbed her eyes and nestled her head back on Rick's shoulder. They were lying on the hard bed of the truck, their legs entwined together, and despite the fact that nearly every muscle in her body was aching and throbbing from being jostled around for the last 12 hours, she was tempted to just stay where she was.
"It's late afternoon. C'mon, the others will be happy to see you." Rick kissed her forehead and sat up. He stretched and then jumped down from the truck, groaning a little and putting his hand against the small of the back.
Hannah stayed where she was, staring up at the blue sky and listening to the excited babble of her friends as they gathered around the truck.
She could hear Carol's soft voice asking Ethan how his leg was, and Hershel welcoming back Glenn and Maggie, asking anxiously if either of them had been hurt.
"DAD!" Carl's yell of delight brought a large grin to her face. There was a loud thump as Carl hurtled into Rick's arms, knocking him back against the side of the truck.
Rick hugged him hard, kissing his face, and smiling at his son. "Hi Carl."
"I'm gonna tell Beth you're okay!" Carl hugged him again and then took off back to the main lodge.
Still lying contently on her back in the truck, another smile crossed her face when she heard Paul's familiar voice.
"Jesus, mate – you're alive!"
Thomas laughed, "Yeah – although I feel and look like I'm dead."
"Considering we thought you were actually dead, you're looking pretty decent." Aaron's low baritone drifted to the truck as Rick reached over the side and placed a warm hand on her abdomen.
"Can you look at Nathan? He's been shot in the shoulder." Thomas and Mattie helped Nathan out of the truck. Nathan groaned softly and flinched when Paul peeled back the fabric of his shirt.
Behind him, Hannah moved gingerly to the side of the truck and swung her legs over. Rick hooked his hands into her armpits and lifted her down, setting her gently on the ground. He put his arms around her waist, pulling her back against his chest and resting his chin on the top of her head.
A hush fell over the people who had gathered to welcome them home. Paul, his back still to her, was studying Nathan's shoulder intently and took no notice of the sudden silence. He frowned and probed gently at Nathan's shoulder before looking at the back of it.
"If we're lucky the bullet went straight through." He arched one eyebrow, "We'll have to dig around in there to be sure though." He clapped Nathan on the other shoulder, "Tonya will be happy to see you alive and mostly undamaged yeah?"
He glanced at Aaron over Nathan's shoulder and frowned. "My love? What's wrong?"
"Paul..." Aaron swallowed hard and pointed shakily at Hannah standing in the circle of Rick's arms.
Still frowning, Paul looked behind him. His mouth dropped open and his face turned white as Hannah gave him a weary smile.
"Hello Paul."
"Little duck?" he whispered.
She smiled again, "Yeah."
"You – you're dead." He took a deep, trembling breath but stood rooted to the spot.
She shook her head, "No, not dead." She pulled free of Rick's embrace and walked the few steps to Paul. She took his cold hands, squeezing them gently.
"I'm tired and dirty and feel like death, but I promise you I'm not dead." She squeezed his hands again.
He looked down at their linked hands for a moment and then, with a shout of glee, yanked her into his arms. He hugged her tightly before picking her up and swinging her around. Hannah laughed and then cried out with pain when his facial stubble rubbed against the burn on her neck.
He set her down and half-laughing and half-crying, looked her up and down.
"Jesus duckie, you look like shit." He said happily.
"Yeah, but you should see the other guy." Hannah said solemnly.
He laughed and then hugged her again, being careful not to touch the burns on her throat and chest. There was a loud gasp and they broke apart to see Nikki standing on the porch of her cabin. She had Selena on her hip and she was holding on to the railing of the porch in a death grip. She stared wide-eyed at Thomas and mouthed his name silently.
She stumbled down the steps as Thomas ran across the clearing and pulled her into his arms. He rained kisses down on her face and Selena's as Nikki sobbed and Selena giggled delightedly.
Hannah could feel the tears in her own eyes and she wiped at her face as Rick reached out and pulled her gently away from Paul and back into his arms.
"I can't believe you're alive." Paul said. "What happened? They said they saw you get eaten by a herd of Walkers."
Aaron put his arm around Paul's shoulders, "We should probably give them a chance to rest and get cleaned up. And from the looks of it – there are a few of them who need medical attention." He looked at Nathan and then at Amelia who was dabbing gently at the still-oozing wound on Daryl's forehead.
"Right. You're right of course." He shook his head and glanced around. "We should look at Nathan first. He's the worst."
Hershel walked around the truck, "Beth and I will look at Nathan and Thomas. You clean up Rick, Daryl and Hannah. If I need your help with Nathan, I'll send Beth for you."
He put his arm around Nathan and motioned to Glenn to go to his other side. "Do you want to go to your cabin or Tonya's?"
Nathan hesitated, "Tonya's please."
"She'll be glad to see you." Hershel and Glenn began to walk Nathan towards Tonya's small cabin.
"Thomas, I'll be by shortly to check you over." He called over his shoulder.
Thomas nodded distractedly as Nikki put her arm around his waist and led him towards her cabin.
Hannah walked to the young girl who was still standing next to the truck and staring shyly at the ground. From the corner of her eye, she could see Carol, who had just finished hugging Amelia and Daryl, approaching from the other side.
Hannah touched the young girl's shoulder lightly. She jerked in surprise and then looked up at them, her face knotted with fear.
"We're not going to hurt you." She said kindly. "What's your name?"
"Danielle." The girl whispered. Despite Hannah's kind tone, she was visibly trembling.
Carol put her arm around Danielle's thin shoulders, "You look hungry. Would you like to come back to the main lodge and have a bite to eat? We'll be eating supper soon but I'm sure we can find you a snack."
The girl nodded and allowed Carol to lead her away. Ethan joined them, linking his fingers through Carol's and limping gingerly.
"Come on little duck. Let's get you cleaned up and looked at." Paul said from behind her.
She shook her head, "No, look at Daryl first. He's going to need stitches and mine are just bumps and bruises."
Paul traced the cut on her arm, "That doesn't look like just a bruise."
"It's fine. Please, look at Daryl first. I'll have a bath and get cleaned up and then you can come by okay?"
Paul nodded and followed Daryl and Amelia to their cabin. Rick put his arm around her waist. "Let's go to your cabin."
She squeezed his hand, "You should go check on Carl."
He hesitated, "He's fine. I'll check on him after we get you cleaned up."
She squeezed his hand again and reached up to place a gentle kiss on his cheek, "I don't need you to hold my hand while I'm cleaning up. You should spend some time with Carl."
"Hannah, I – "
She pressed her finger to her lips, "I mean it Rick. He's your son and you need to think of him first. Now go."
He hesitated for a minute more and then sighed deeply, "I'll be back in your cabin in an hour or so."
She smiled, "Take your time. I plan on soaking in the tub for at least an hour."
He kissed her, his hand lingering on the swell of her hip, before he headed towards the main lodge. She climbed the steps of her cabin, stopping at the door to wave at Rick before disappearing inside.
She closed the door and kicked off her boots. She leaned back against the door and closed her eyes, soaking in the silence of her small cabin.
She stripped off the coat and her shirt and pants, dropping them indifferently to the floor and reminding herself to burn them later. She wanted nothing that reminded her of Anna. She started a fire in the cook stove before pumping water into buckets and setting them on the stove to heat.
She walked into the small bathroom and lit the candle on the bathroom sink. She stared at herself in the small mirror over the sink. Her face was pale and drawn, and the skin was stretched tightly over her cheekbones. There were deep, dark circles under her eyes and her face was covered in smears of dirt and blood.
She reached up and brushed her bangs back from her face. Her hair was getting long; she would have to ask Nikki for a haircut. Maybe tomorrow she would – she looked at her hands. There was blood grimed into the knuckles and she grabbed a towel and began to scrub at them. The blood just smeared across her fingers and she swallowed hard as her hands began to tremble.
She stared fixedly at them for a moment, at Anna's blood smeared and streaked across her fingers, and a barrage of memories darted through her brain. Warren with tears on his face as Anna slapped him repeatedly; the nicotine stains on Anna's fingers as she brought the cigarette down on her arm; the smell of her skin burning, the sound of Warren's neck breaking, and the fear in Anna's voice as she begged for her life.
She threw the towel on the floor and gripped the sink with her badly-shaking hands, looking at her reflection. Her face was paler than ever and after a few seconds she turned and fell to her knees. She grabbed the small waste basket sitting on the floor and vomited wretchedly into it.
She vomited until there was nothing left in her stomach and she was left gasping and dry heaving. She fought to get her stomach under control, and pushed the waste basket away when the dry heaves finally stopped. She started to stand and then with a sobbing, gasping cry, curled up in a tight ball on the bathroom floor and wept bitterly.