A/N: Sorry guys, but I'm going to come out and tell you the truth as to why this has taken so long. The first thing is, is that I was in italy for a week and I had the idea for this chapter all in my head, then after my jet lag set in I suffered from a major case of writer's block and the fact that I'm suffereing major AWS and ZWS (zutara withdrawl syndrome). But alas, the chapter is here and I hope you guys enjoy it! Also, I'm working really hard on my portfolio this year which is probably why you've seen me around the Live Journal communities making icons rather than writing fanfiction. But don't worry, I'm writing when I have time and when my lack of inspiration is somewhat gone. Keep on the lookout on an update on my other fanfiction for the Zutara100 challenge. Why aren't the stupid dividers working?
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it.
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Chapter 8: Lost Without You
As the days continued to move on, I remained somewhat still. Ever since I awoke that one morning, nothing felt the same anymore. Everyone felt…different. I was so used to my brother joking around on a regular basis, that his seriousness caught me off guard. I wasn't used to this more mature behavior. The thing is, I didn't feel any different. I felt the same. My instincts were the same. I wanted to become better and stronger so I could protect my family, my friends…I didn't want to let my tribe down like I had so long ago. My mother had fought so hard to save my people, but even she was at a loss. But that's what kept me moving. Keeping her bravery in my mind was what kept me strong. Nevertheless, my brother, Aang and out other friends had to move along. The end of summer was only a few months away and the arrival of the comet was becoming nearer.
---
I felt as if I skipped a part of my life. When I awoke, I was in a room that was so unfamiliar. I had never been there before and the people surrounding me were enigmatic. There stood in front of me, were a young boy and I assumed, his mother and father. The looks on their faces were so troubled that even I began to worry. I looked around me to see my brother and Aang stumble into room with Haru not too far behind. Eagerly pushing their way through the door, they suddenly stopped when they saw I had awoken. I cocked my head to side wondering what the big deal was.
Before I knew it, I was being pulled up by my brother, who was shaking me furiously and asking what had happened. He was trying to be 'funny', but the tone in his voice made me think otherwise. He started to talk and ramble on how I should be more careful, but my mind was focused on something else. Aang was shyly standing behind my brother, while Haru had made his way towards the younger boy. But…I wasn't paying attention to them; I merely noted their presence. It was the other boy; the one whom I had never met before.
When I had awoken he was the first person my eyes laid on. His head lay gracefully beside me, his hands cupped ever so softly around my left hand. I smiled lightly as his slow and steady breathing tickled the side of my arm. Moments later, he awoke from his slumber, instantly staring into my eyes. His golden stare had me captivated and his words just ran through me. I was caught off guard when he said my name…it was impossible. To him, my words were like ice, stabbing his soul in a thousand different ways. Our brief conversation ended when the look in his eyes became shallow and sad.
I couldn't remember him. To me, he was a new face. His appearance made me question whenever I had the chance. The scar over his left eye saddened me greatly. There was such a dark past behind him that I was too scared to know. I had sufferered greatly when the Fire Nation took the life of my mother, but this teenager had suffered first hand. He had the mark to prove it. But just like everything else, he made me wonder. Why did the Fire Nation have to make people suffer so much, for doing nothing?
---
For a few days, my brother insisted that I stay in bed and rest…I guess he really was concerned. It wasn't like him to take a break from our travels since Aang was usually our first priority. Sela and Gansu and even Lee paid me daily visits while I remained bored to death in their living room. Sokka wouldn't even let me practice my Waterbending, but hey, I guess I couldn't blame him. But what I enjoyed the most was when he would come in the room. He kept his distance from me after our awkward conversation and acted as if he didn't really care about my well being. I'm sure he had better things to do, yet he still insisted on sitting inside.
I don't know how unaware he thought I was, but when I would turn the other way, I always felt his gaze upon me.
---
After my 'rest' we decided to head out. For some strange reason, Haru decided to stay behind and protect the village from the Earth Kingdom Soldiers. That's what I always liked about him. He had an enormous amount of care for those around him, and now more than ever, he had the courage to pursue what his heart told him. I had always thought I would go back to him…but all of a sudden, I was pushing away from him.
Before we left, I hugged him, thanking him for traveling with us. In some ways, I felt as if we wasted his time. Aang barely learned Earthbending, yet, he was able to help protect a local village. A part of me didn't want to say goodbye to him, but our paths were leading different ways. I was to travel with Aang and help him achieve his destiny, while Haru felt it was best if he were to stay in the village.
---
"Why are you staying? We need you to help Aang learn Earthbending!" I pleaded.
"No you don't. Before I left with you guys, King Bumi told me something. He knew I wasn't going to be Aang's teacher."
"Then why did he act as if you were?" I questioned, giving the tone that I wanted him to answer as truthfully as possible.
"He knew my desires and the reason I really wanted to travel with you. But over the past couple of weeks I've come to realize that I'm not the only one who wants this one thing," he answered.
"But I thought…" I started, but then quickly stopped. My words trailed off and I felt myself begin to tremble slightly.
"Sometimes things aren't meant to be," he stated, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "All I want is for you to be happy…that's what's important to me. You're a brave person Katara, and I know everything will turn out okay. Besides, you'll be meeting Aang's new Earthbending teacher soon."
"But how is this person going to be any different from you?"
"This person waits and listens. When I earthbend, I draw power from my heart."
"Oh…"
"Katara just promise me one thing?"
"What?" I asked as I felt the inside of me sadden further.
"Don't let go of him."
---
I didn't understand what Haru was talking about. If there was anyone I was letting go of, it was him. I was leaving him behind even though I knew it was his own personal decision. I gave him one last hug before heading onto Appa's saddle. I turned around to face him one last time before our final departure. In doing so, I managed to lose my balance but he was there to help me. Even after a few days, Aang and Sokka managed to avoid introducing me to them. The elderly man who accompanied this boy was a stranger as well. None of them looked familiar to me.
Our journey to the next town was a silent one. Though Aang was usually more chipper than everyone else, he even kept to himself. His behavior was abnormal and the fact that my brother wasn't cracking a joke every now and then, made me worry even more. The sarcasm and the cheerfulness of the group…were gone.
I felt awkward and unsure of what to do. I wanted to say something but even that felt strange. I didn't want to say anything, worrying that it would offend the two strangers that were riding with us. For the past hour, all I did was sit, gazing down at the earth below me.
---
After an hour, I noticed Appa's decent to ground. There was no town in sight but Appa was getting tired, and not to mention that my brother was complaining about his hunger problems. Like many nights before, it was time to set up camp for the millionth time.
It was my job to get water, while Sokka gathered up the firewood and Aang was to set up the tent. Setting up camp became a habit, and we really didn't have to discuss who would do what. It became second nature.
The day was still young and the spring breeze felt so nice against my skin. I had been inside for the past few days that I had almost forgot how intoxicating the outside air was. The light breeze picked up the scent of a nearby river and before I knew it, the sounds of the ripples were racing through my mind.
I felt as if I hadn't been around my element in the longest time, and the crystal river in front of me felt surreal. There was only a small amount of water in my water-skin and it desperately needed to be washed out. The last thing the boys needed to drink was my bending water. Streaming the water through my fingers, I let the water fall gracefully to the thirst earth below me. In an instant, the earth had parched every bit of my water. Widening my stance, I streamed some new water into my water-skin and headed back to camp.
When I returned everyone was situated. Aang was playing around with Momo, Sokka was 'carving' a piece of wood while the teenager and the elderly man sat themselves rather distant from the rest of the group.
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"Sokka?" I asked, feeling rather weird for speaking. "Who…"
"Katara, I think it's time that I introduce you to our other, uh…'friends'," he quickly said, while standing up faster that lighting.
"Actually Sokka, I was just about ask you --"
"Now, now Katara, I'm sorry I didn't do this sooner and personally I'm rather surprised that you haven't asked who these people are, since after all, you clearly have no idea who they are," he stated, throwing his piece of wood into the fire. "Now what were you saying?"
"Never mind," I responded while rolling my eyes. He obviously wasn't willing to listen to a word I was saying.
"The elderly man over there is General Iroh and the guy sitting next to him is Zuko."
"Wait…Zuko…as in the prince of the Fire Nation?"
"They're willing to teach me firebending," added Aang as he came up next to me.
"But why him?" I asked coldly, giving a look of uneasiness. "Don't they have anything better to do? Like, kill you for example?"
"They're not like that," the Avatar simply stated.
"But they're royalty…at least Zuko is—
---
"Is something wrong Miss Katara?" asked a new, but familiar voice. "You've been staring at that fire for quite a long time now."
"Nothing…I was just daydreaming. That's all," said Katara quietly.
"You don't have to be afraid of us you know."
"What makes you think I'm afraid of you guys?"
"Well, ever since your brother introduced us, you've been keeping yourself as far away as humanly possible from us."
"I just don't understand."
"Sometimes things aren't supposed to be understandable…things happen because they're supposed to…not because they're right, or wrong, or even if they make sense."
"I feel like I've met you guys before…at least that's how I feel with Zuko. Is that weird even though I've never actually met you before until now?"
"No…it's just fate."
"Fate?"
"Yes…you have a strong heart Miss Katara. You've proven so many things that I refused to deny. The heart and mind are a strong thing and apparently there are things that even they can't let go no matter what happens."
"What are you talking about?" she questioned, looking confused.
"Oh, it seems I have gone off into another one of my tangents. Please excuse my elderly self. Now I think it's time that I make some tea," responded the retired general, obviously trying to change the topic.
---
If there was anything I had figured out, it was that reality…was no longer reality. Nothing made sense anymore. The Prince of the Fire Nation and his Uncle were traveling with us. They were willing to help us. I always wanted something like this to happen, but when it finally did, it felt too weird. That's the only word that can explain it; weird.
I was thrilled that Aang had finally found someone, or in this case two people to teach him firebending…but it seemed too good to be true. They were royalty. They weren't just any low-life Fire Nation rebellions, they were royal blood…he was to be the next ruler of his country. How could that not matter to him? Everything was on his shoulders, yet he was willing to help us. Well, at least his uncle was. I wanted to know his reasons; his reasons for helping us on our journey. After all, it wasn't normal for the Prince of the Fire Nation to be helping the Avatar.
As much as I hated to admit it, my instincts were telling me to go talk to the spoiled brat. For some reason, the reputation of being a Prince didn't seem all that enchanting anymore. Just a few days ago I had been taken aback by his presence around me, but that feeling soon changed. I wanted nothing to do with him. Nothing…
---
"Where is Zuko anyway?" asked the curious waterbender, wondering why in the world she cared. "I thought he would like some dinner since he hasn't eatten since we landed," she finished. Where the heck did that come from?
"The last time I saw him, he was headed towards the river," responded Iroh.
The night was still young, as the waterbender arose from her everlasting daydreaming pose. Her body felt stiff from sitting in one position for so long and it felt good to move around; minus the sound of her back cracking as she turned from side to side.
Letting out a yawn she observed her surroundings. Before, she was so preoccupied with everyone's abnormal actions that she had forgotten to scope out everything. The area was lush and full of greenery; it was great for hiding away from any traces of the Fire Nation. Even if they did manage to find their smoke stack, it would take hours before they would actually physically meet up with them. Basically, they had a good hiding place…for now that is. The whereabouts of Azula were still unknown to everyone, but somehow, the group managed to remain sane.
Katara turned back around to face the elderly man once more. She wanted to thank him for almost comforting her. Her body movements caught the corner of his eye as he smiled up at her, acknowledging the fact that she was thanking him. Not too long after, he returned his gaze back down to his ceramic tea pot and cup, patiently waiting for his oh so favorite Jasmine tea to steep.
Being the brave and fierce warrior that he was, Sokka had returned to his 'carving session' while Aang played with Momo, totally oblivious to everything around him. It was getting down to the wire in terms of time, but seeing Aang relax once and awhile was a breath of fresh air to everyone.
Looking around once again, Katara had hoped that Zuko had returned by now. The last thing she wanted was for him to feel threatened down by the river. She was now a master, and could pretty much kill anyone she pleased. Knowing his status, she assumed he would be alarmed by her sudden appearance, so along with a bowl of soup she strapped her water-skin closely to her body. Though there was a river, she wanted to be protected as much as possible.
---
As the night grew darker, Katara had almost forgotten how thick the forest really was. It seemed so easy just a few hours ago, then again, the sun was still out shining brightly as ever. Now, there was only the moon and the sound of the ripples of the water to guide her way. Luckily the ground was soft, as she noticed her tracks from earlier and followed them without any hesitation.
The sound of the river became more apparent, and before long, the young waterbender noticed a shadowed figure close to the bank, with his legs crossed in front of them.
"Why did you come here?" he asked, before she could take another step. She had barely approached him, yet he already noted her presence.
"I wanted to talk to you. Plus, you didn't come to dinner and I thought you'd be hungry."
"I don't need help from a peasant such as you," he snickered back.
"I just met you, yet you're already a pain. I just wanted to be kind, unless you want to starve to death or something. I mean, I could always bring this back to my brother, who by the way, would eat this within three seconds."
"That's so typical of the Water Tribe…taking down their food as if they were savages."
"We're not savages!" she yelled, approaching him angrily.
"Oh, and I suppose living in igloos is considered extravagant," he stated, still remaining in his meditating position.
"I know Princes are supposed to be snobs and everything, but this is ridiculous…but I still feel as if I need to be nice to you," she annoyingly admitted.
"You do?"
"Yes, now, my name is Katara not, peasant," she clearly pointed out as she walked her body in front of him, giving a look that if he were to screw it up again, he would have to face the wrath of her bending.
"I already know your name; you don't have to tell me."
"How do you know my name anyway?"
"What's up with all the questions?"
"Just tell me. Knowing my brother and his paranoid ways, he would have not told you our names and Aang being well…12 and all, he would forget. He gets sidetracked easily."
"I heard your brother talking to the Avatar."
"You're lying…" she sneered, narrowing her gaze towards him.
"I'm not lying…" he responded again, only this time his tone was much more muted. "So, you really don't know me, do you?"
"Well considering I just met you a few days ago, I obviously didn't know who you were," she responded, placing herself down next to him. A few seconds past, as she waited for a response from him. "So, did you run out of witty responses?"
"I have nothing to say to you."
"Could you at least explain why you're helping Aang? It seems like it would be the last thing you would ever do…considering you'd be the next Fire Lord and all."
"I've done some things that I have regretted."
"Like what?" asked the Waterbender, becoming more intrigued by his enigmatic ways.
"I've lost someone…"
"That still doesn't answer the question as to why you're helping us!"
"It's none of your business to begin with!" he snapped back, still refusing to face her.
"You don't have to be so cold about it!" she yelled back, quickly hoisting herself up from the ground. "Besides, I think I have the right to know why the Prince of the Fire Nation is traveling with us! I'm going back to camp…" she yelled again, only this time her voice faded as she angrily walked away.
Looking out the corner of his eye, he noticed the bowl of soup still by his side. Slowly coming out his meditating stance, he picked up the bowl stirring the spoon around creating small swirls in the lukewarm liquid.
He didn't understand why he had the sudden urge to be mean to her. Truthfully, it was the last thing he wanted. Not only did he have to gain trust for Katara, but of the whole group as well. He knew the watertribe boy had zero tolerance for him, let alone Firebenders and the Avatar would of course befriend him. But was it because he really wanted to, or was it because he had to?
"You know, maybe going back to the Blue Spirit wouldn't be such a bad idea…"
"What do you want Uncle?" asked the Prince, noticing his Uncle's footsteps before he even managed to speak.
"After Miss Katara didn't return, I decided to look for you guys. But when I saw her running quickly through the forest, I figured something must have happened."
"There's nothing wrong…except for the fact that she can't remember me or anything that relates to me for that matter."
"But that doesn't give you the right to be so mean to her," noted Iroh as he stood by Zuko's side. "Things may be starting over, but this time it's different. She doesn't have the history with you like before."
"Then why did you suggest I become the Blue Spirit? I threw away that identity…"
"I only suggested such a thing because when you were the Blue Spirit, you were real," he observed. "You don't have to be afraid."
"I'm not afraid of anything."
"Whether you admit it or not, you're afraid to feel for anyone and unfortunately for you that is your biggest weakness. Now, I shall be returning back to camp. You should too, before it gets too cold."
The prince didn't respond. He was in denial about the fact that for once, his Uncle was right. All along his Uncle knew what he was feeling; only he was too much of a coward to admit it. He and Katara were to start anew and this time, it was different. She couldn't judge him as quickly as she could. She didn't know of his ways and how he tied her up to a tree, or the fact that he had held her hostage on his own ship.
But in some ways, that's what he didn't like. Even though all the things he had done to her. The way he relentlessly chased after her and the Avatar and her brother. Even after he coldly denied her existence as a human being…she still found her way around, and fell for him.
But that's only because she saw my past…
She did see his past, she saw the horrors of his Agni Kai and how he fell at the hands of his own father. His own flesh and blood scarred him forever and implied that he shall never return to his homeland. The Watertribe girl saw his mother…his beautiful mother that cared for him so deeply, that she'd do anything to protect him. But just like her, his mother's life was cut short and he was no longer protected by the one thing that truly cared for him. Not even his Uncle could replace her love, her compassion, her…presence.
Before the night could fall into total darkness, and before the moon would be at its highest point in the sky, Zuko let out of his meditating pose which he had been in for hours, and headed back to the camp.
On the way, he cursed at the gods for Earth Kingdom clothing for being so itchy and the fact that his head was now bald, and wasn't protected from any bugs that may find their way. Before he knew it, he was slapping continuously to shoo the bugs away, or was itching his back or his arms, until raw red marks appeared on his pale skin. The coolness of the night seemed to relieve his 'pain' when a small breeze would come whisking by, wrapping all around his body; fortunately for him being a firebender, he never was never chilled by the night air.
---
Pushing another branch out of the way, the young prince had found his way back to camp. Everyone had already settled, while he on the other hand, was still wide awake and the last thing on his mind was sleep.
The retired General had propped himself up against one of the many nearby trees, with his trust teapot to the side of him. No matter where he went, his tea set was always near him; that and his trust white lotus tile.
Just to the right of him, was the Avatar who was sleeping on the Bison's tail. His body was sprawled all across, barely leaving any room for his lemur friend. Every now and again, the lemur would fidget in his sleep, realizing it was falling off the edge of the tail, but would soon find its way back on without even opening its eyes.
The watertribe "warrior" really had no interest in the prince…he didn't care how he was sleeping or where he was sleeping. He could be sleeping on the back of some rhino and he could care less. All he noted was that he had his boomerang in hand and was ready for action…minus the fact that they were in the middle of nowhere and the chances of them being found were slim, to none.
Then there was Katara.
Standing in the same spot for several minutes tired Zuko, and realized it was probably time for him to sleep just like everyone else. But he couldn't. Even if they were in the middle of nowhere, there were those chances of them getting caught and the last thing he wanted was Katara to get kidnapped by some Fire Nation scum. That was his job…no one else's. Only he was allowed to kidnap the Avatar's Watertribe friend.
He noted the way her body was gracefully laid out on the ground. She had placed her self by the fire to keep her warm, and possibly away from the male snorers of the group since the fire was so conveniently placed away from the other members of the group.
Sitting down on a close by log, he watched her through the dancing flames of their fire. He noted her wondrous curves and how even a heavy sleeping bag such as hers, managed to fall perfectly to the frame of her body. He noted how her slow but steady breathing, created a wonderful sound that made him so relax, making the moment seem even more perfect.
Early morning dew had already begun to set as it coated the young waterbender's face lightly. The moon captured the tiny water droplets making her skin glow more luminous that it normally would. Her hair had become undone while tossing and turning from before, leaving small strands down the side of her face. But even those out of place strands complimented the curves of her face perfectly. Everything about her was perfect. The way she breathed when she slept, the way her hand would move up to her face…even the way the small dew droplets would fall down her face ever so slowly.
But even moments such as that one had to end soon when her stirring became more apparent. Her movements were no longer there just to adjust her position or to scratch her nose. No, she was stirring and frantically speaking muffled words that were too hard for the Prince to hear. Before he knew it, he was getting up from his 'comfortable' seat, and kneeled down next to her.
Go jump in the river!
My mother's necklace…where did you get that?
Pirates…
"How does she remember that?" he thought, noticing her body shivering slightly as the wind picked up. "I thought she was supposed to forget everything that involved me?"
The waterbender grasped onto her necklace, as she curled up into a ball trying to keep in her body heat. Before leaving, Zuko pulled the top of her sleeping bag over her shoulders, while her body instantly relaxed. He smiled, and placed a stray hair out of her face and behind her hair. He was tempted to leave a light kiss on her forehead, but he feared that she would awake from her slumber. But he was even too late for that.
"Zuko…?" came a raspy voice from the waterbender.
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A/N: So there you have it. You guys must think I'm the biggest biznatch ever. But really, I went back and read the beginning, which by the way, is the most craptastic noobish thing ever, and realized they did fall for each other way too fast. I'm trying to tone it down a bit and keep it more realistic. So there. Reviews are much appreciated!