Lily's POV
"I would pick you."
Did I seriously just say that? Did I really just basically tell Alex that I liked him without really telling him? My heart was racing beyond belief as I looked up at his face. Pure shock. That was all that I could see. His eyes were wide and his mouth hung a little open. Just as I was about to look away out of embarrassment, his lips formed into a grin.
"You know what, Lily? I would pick you too."
He wrapped his arms tighter around me and pulled me into an embrace. It felt so good to be wrapped up in his arms like that. This is how I want it to be; Not Alex and Lily, friends, but Alex and Lily, the couple. I just really don't know how to make that happen. Luckily, I didn't have to.
"Uh, Lily...You don't have to say yes if you don't want to and nothing will change if you say no, and I will be perfectly happy either way, but wouldyouliketobemygirlfriend?"
The last part of his sentence was so rushed that it seemed like only one word. I felt him hold his breath beneath me. Images of the conversation that I had with my dad flashed through my mind. He was fine with this. But was I? I have wanted this for a while, but I was I truly ready? I glanced up at Alex's gorgeous eyes and finally responded.
"Yes, Alex, I would love to be your girlfriend."
An enormous smile filled his face as wrapped his arms even tighter around me. I snuck my head into the crook of his neck and just sat there, enjoying his company. After a long minute of silence, Alex spoke.
"Well, should we watch episode 2? I promise that it is not as strange as episode 1."
We marathoned Doctor Who until about midnight, when be both just got tired of staring at a screen.
"Come with me." I said, pulling him up from the couch and grabbing his hand. I pulled him out to the sliding doors and out to the back patio. It was wonderful out there. There was a hot tub, a pool, a dining set, tons of patio chairs. The list could go on forever. I sat down in one of the lounge chairs and stared up at the stars. Even with all the light pollution, you could still see quite a few. Alex sat in the chair next to me.
"Wouldn't you just love to go up there?" I asked.
"I would die to go up there."
"I want to know what's out there. There is just so much that isn't discovered."
"I know. Now that we do know that there are aliens and that portals can be made to the other side of space, there is a lot of work that needs to be done."
"My dad went through that portal. I haven't asked him about it, though. I'm scared that it will just bring back memories. I remember watching the news reports live when he fell from the sky basically dead. I didn't even know that he was my dad at that point and it was terrifying. I can't imagine what is would have been like for him."
"Maybe you should just ask him. Lily, you hardly know your dad." A flush of anger passed though me. Before I could speak, Alex continued, "Just hear me out. I think that you need to have more one on one conversations with him. You always tell me about how angry you are that he did something or how alone that you feel or how scared you are for him, but you are telling the wrong person. You need to tell him instead. He is the only one who can fix this. I can't, but he can."
I sighed.
"You are right, but it is just so hard."
"I know. I can see just how terrifying it must be. I can't even imagine going through what you had to go through. I don't think I would survive it."
I could tell from the look that Alex was giving me that he wanted me to talk to him about my mother's death. What he was doing to me was exactly what he told me to do to dad. He wanted me to share my darkest days so that he could understand me better. I took a deep breath and gave in.
"I honestly don't remember much from after my mom died. My friend Emma's parents took me in and planned the funeral and everything. I just shut myself out from the world. I dropped out of school and just... survived. I'm not sure how many days I spent sitting in the dark."
A couple of tears started rolling down my cheeks. Alex moved over onto my chair and held me tight.
"I remember crying for the first while, then at one point, I just stopped. I just felt so numb. I couldn't feel anything. It was at the funeral that I finally let go all the pain inside. I cried right from the beginning until I fell asleep that night. The next morning, I decided that it was time for me to move on. By this time, I also knew that my dad was being approached about whether or not he wanted me. So I decided that I had to start to move on so I can start a new life. I took baby steps over the next few weeks. Day by day, I spent more and more time out of my room. I even started talking to other people about normal stuff. I wasn't quite keeping up with the world, but at least I was trying. It was soon after that that I met my dad. That was a big shock, but I forced myself to adjust quickly. I knew that I had to make everything work in order to be happy again. So I put on a smile and faced my future. With that mentality in mind, I got here."
Alex squeezed me harder.
"You are such a strong person." He said to me, "You pushed through so much and I am enormously proud of you and what you have become. I am also very glad that you trusted me enough to share that."
"I'm glad that I could finally tell someone."
It was true. I felt like an enormous weight that I didn't know was there had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt free of my past that had been haunting me for so long.
"Alex, what time is it?" I asked after a moment of silence.
He pulled out his iPhone and hit the top button.
"Oh no." I said quietly. My shock was not due to the time (it was 1am), but the date. It was my mom's birthday. I forgot about my mom's birthday.
"Lily, what's wrong?" Alex asked, concern flooding his face.
"I need to get to North Dakota." I jumped off the chair and ran back into the house.
"JARVIS?" I screamed.
"Yes, Miss Stark?"
"Book me the next flight to Bismarck."
"As you wish, although I will remind you that your father does have a private je- "
"Whichever is faster." I said, cutting him off. "Oh, and tell dad and Pepper."
Alex walked into the house just as I started running up the stairs.
"Lily, what the hell is going on?"
I stopped and turned to face him.
"It is my mom's birthday and I need to be there."
"Lily, it is one in the morning! Can't you wait until, say, seven? Just wait for your parents to get home. You can't go out there. It is full of paparazzi. They will follow you to the airport and to your hometown. And you can't take your dad's jet because Stark Industries is also crawling with photographers."
He was right. I sunk down onto the step and started crying.
"I'm just a horrible daughter."
Alex climbed up the steps and joined me.
"Lily, you are not a horrible daughter. You will get there tomorrow. Why don't you go get some rest so that you will be ready to leave bright and early?"
I nodded. I never realised how truly tired I was until he said that. It has been such a long day.
"What will you do?"
"I'm going to head home. I'm scared to know what your dad would do to me if I stayed over. Goodnight, Lily. Please get some sleep. It will be better in the morning."
With that, he walked down the stairs, grabbed his coat and left. I sat there for a second, shocked at his quick departure. A few minutes later, I dragged myself up into my bed. I don't know how long I stared at the ceiling, but I must have fallen asleep eventually because I woke up to a gentle nudging.
"Lily, wake up." I heard my dad say.
I groggily opened my eyes.
"Hey." I said, pulling myself up into a seated position.
"JARVIS told me everything. My plane will be ready to go in two hours."
"I can't believe that I forgot, dad. I'm such a horrible daughter." Tears were building up in my eyes again. All the things that were rolling around in my head last night came flooding out of my mouth. "All I did was ruin her life. My entire existence ruined her life. Since I was young, I had a theory. It all started when I was old enough to realise that my mom never, ever left her comfort zone. She stuck in a strict routine and she hardly had any friends, let alone boyfriends. All her friends were my friend's parents. My theory was that it was my fault that she was like that. I always believed that she used to be outgoing and happy and then one night she went too far and created me. I think that getting pregnant with me was what stopped her from ever forming any relationships. It was all my fault that my mom did nothing with her life."
By this point, tears were all over my face. My dad joined me on the bed and hugged me before speaking.
"You are wrong, Lily. I'm sorry, but I have not been 100% truthful to you. Remember when I said that I didn't remember your mother? Well, that was true until that picnic when I saw your mom's picture in the slide show. I remembered her clear as day. I was surprised that I didn't see it before because of your resemblance, but whatever. Anyway, I remember her because she caused me to lose a bunch of sleep. Not in the sexual way, of course, but more in the guilty way. I was at some party and there were caterers. Your mom was working for them making desserts. I got really drunk and I found her very attractive and I wanted to sleep with her. She turned down every advance that I made until she finally agreed to let me buy her a drink, as long as it was alcohol free. Needless to say, I spiked it. That one, as well as a few more after until she agreed to come back to my hotel with me. It was there that we had sex and must have conceived you. Well, we both fell asleep afterwards and I remember waking up to a scream in the morning. It was your mom. She yelled at me for using her and for taking her virginity. She was also crying the entire time. She stormed out of my room leaving me half asleep feeling the worst that I have ever felt in my life.
Now, I know what you are thinking: If she had that much of an effect on me, why did I forget her? Well, Lily, I didn't. I tried. I pushed the memory into the far back of my brain. This is where I keep everything that is painful. That was put in the same place as my parent's deaths. Slowly, the memory began to fade and I could only feel the pain and guilt. I wish that I could say the same about my parents, but I can't. That is just something that never leaves you I know that you know that first hand. So Lily, if anyone ruined your mother's life it was me and I regret it to this day."
I could see tears streaming down my dad's face. I knew that I had to say something, but I didn't know what. I knew that he ruined my mom's life and he knew that too. I actually believe that was the only time in her life that she had sex. She never dated. She lost all trust in men because of my dad. No wonder she never approached him about me. He used her. Even though she would have probably never said it, I knew for the sake of my dad's sanity what I had to do.
"Dad?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you and on behalf of mom, I forgive you."
He pulled me into a tighter hug and we continued to cry into each other's shoulders in a shared sense of pain and regret. Soon, our tears began to fade out and we just sat there with me wrapped in his arms. After a moment of silence, he casually glanced down at his watch and swore.
"Lily, we have to get going. You have half an hour to pack before we have to take the hour drive to the airport. We can stay in North Dakota as long as you want. Pepper and I are taking time off work because of the paparazzi due to the engagement anyway."
"Okay. Thanks."
He pressed a kiss onto my forehead, got up and left the room.
A.N. Okay. You all have my permission to be mad at me. Next time that I take this long between updates, just send me a little nudge just to remind me that you are all out there waiting. School has just been so crazy and writing is just the escape that I need, but sometimes I forget just how much I enjoy it. Thank you all for coming back and reading this after so long. Your enthusiasm over this story is greatly appreciated.