Own Max and Jenny, little else
On this particular morning, as Penny was using the breast pump, and as Leonard was putting Max down, Penny started to cry. "Leonard, what are we doing? How can we keep this up? I'm so tired. I can't be the mom Max deserves because I have to keep running off to see Jenny. Jenny is so alone, she must think we don't love her. And, look at me... half my waking day, I'm hooked up to this... this... MILKING machine"... Penny put the breast pump down with a thud. "I feel like a piece of livestock….. and….I KNOW I'm neglecting you"... Penny is just short of sobbing. "I don't know how much more I can take".
Leonard put Max down and walked over to Penny. She had just finished expressing and put the milk into the fridge. Leonard brought his wife to the couch and held her as she snuggled close. "Penny, you are the best mom there is. Not many would do what you do. You are providing for both our children. It's not the best situation. Max is home and Jenny is not. You can only do so much. You said you didn't want to feed with formula. It would be easier on you if we at least supplemented with it. Max is getting as much attention as he needs. You're with him all day. I'm with him in the evening. The only thing he's missing is Jenny's companionship. Jenny is doing much better. She's not alone. She's the darling of the unit. You spend as much time with her as you can. As for me?... I'm fine. I see what you are doing for our family. I see the love you have for Max and Jenny. I see the hurt every time you have to leave her. I promise you, I don't feel neglected. If anything, I don't feel I'm doing enough. Please tell me if there is anything... and I mean ANYTHING... I can do.
Penny sighed deeply with halted gasps and snuggled a little closer lying on Leonard on the couch. "I'm sure I can think of a few suggestions in a couple of more weeks when I'm cleared. Thanks for all the support though, and I mean it, you already do so much. I'll think about the formula thing. But, for now, just some more of this would be nice".
Leonard leaned in to give Penny a tender kiss. Penny returned a kiss that became more passionate than Leonard had originally intended. Penny ran her fingers through Leonard's hair. Leonard's hands instinctively went to her waist and then pulled Penny's hips to his. He then moved one of his hands up her body to her breasts as her hand moved down between their legs. Suddenly Leonard's eyes shot open and he pulled away. He was breathing heavy. "Penny, honey, let's just go back to bed and get you some sleep while we can".
Penny reluctantly pulled away and stood up. "OK, but when we can"... She followed Leonard to bed and cuddled as close as she could with Leonard behind her. She could 'FEEL' that the kiss had the desired effect on Leonard. She felt bad for him, but it was a real morale booster for her, that she could still have that effect on her husband. Penny turned to Leonard. She kissed him gently and reached down between them. Leonard pulled back and started to protest. Penny put a finger to his lips to quiet his protest. Penny had taken care of Max, and had expressed milk for Jenny. Now, she was going to do the best she could to show Leonard how much he meant to her. "Shhh, just relax"…..
Penny knew all Leonard's sensitive areas and she treated each with loving care. Leonard shared as much with Penny as she would let him, kissing her and holding her close. She had also taken off all her clothes so every embrace was that much more enticing. She knew from experience that Leonard was a very visual person and she wanted him to enjoy what she hoped was a sight he hadn't seen in months. But her intent was for him to lay back and enjoy…. "Honey, please, let me do this for you. Don't worry, I'll call in your debts in due time. I can't wait…..
Leonard was extremely distracted at work that day. He couldn't help but thinking about Penny and the love he had for her and his new family. He couldn't wait to get home.
Later that evening, Leonard met Penny in the ICU. When he walked in, he found Penny sitting in a rocking chair and breast feeding Jenny. Penny had the biggest smile on her face and a tear in her eye. "Leonard... Look... they said I should try... Look"... Penny then turned her gaze to her daughter…. "Jenny, Jenny, baby girl Mommy loves you so much". Penny closed her eyes and enjoyed the closeness only a mother and her baby could truly know.
The unit nurse came in to talk to Leonard. "Jenny is doing very well. She has not had apnea, we have been reducing the oxygen to the incubator and she is tolerating that just fine. She is gaining weight, a little over four pounds now, and now she is exhibiting the ability to feed. She may be able to go home soon. I will enter this into a progress note and forward it to Drs. Johnson and Billings".
Leonard stepped away and looked at Penny. She was still feeding Jenny. Penny looked so peaceful, gently rocking, her eyes closed, smiling, taking in the experience of her daughter. At this moment, Leonard couldn't be happier.
Leonard and Penny met in the parking lot at the apartment. Leonard was about to enter the building when Penny took hold of his arm. "Honey, can we walk for a bit? Maybe down by the pond"? Leonard smiled and took Penny's arm in his. They walked the few blocks to the park arm in arm, Penny gently leaning on Leonard's shoulder and found the same bench by the pond they were sitting on before the babies were born.
Penny sat with her head on Leonard's shoulder. He had his arm around her and gave her a kiss on the top of her head as they just looked out onto the pond. "Leonard, thank you. Thank you for waiting for me to catch up in our relationship. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for not pressuring me. Thank you for being the man you are, the husband you are, the father you are. Thank you for giving my life purpose. Thank you for loving me, caring for me, supporting me even when I fail at everything. Thank you for giving me the two most beautiful babies in the world. That was amazing tonight, Jenny just latched on like she was a pro. It felt so good. Max is good too, but different. Jenny was so tender. It's amazing. They are so precious, I love them. I never thought I would feel this way about anyone. I was always so hesitant to get close to anyone. You changed all that, you changed me. Leonard, I love you so much, I can hardly put it into words".
Leonard kissed her head again. "Well, you're doing fine so far... Penny, you are the most amazing woman I know. You have drive and determination. You certainly haven't failed at everything. You have accomplished to make a self-insecure geeky guy rise above all his faults to be the happiest man on earth. You are the glue that holds our little band of misfits together. Without you there would be no Howard and Bernadette. Without you Amy wouldn't be half the woman she is becoming, especially with Sheldon. You are a good actress, someone will notice, just you wait. You're going back to school. You have already proven that you are the best mom there is. The most loving wife…. I can't thank you enough. I love you so incredibly much".
After just sitting in silence, looking up at the stars on this cool evening, Penny turned to Leonard and kissed him. She had no other words, and he didn't need to hear any. The look in her eyes told him all he needed to know. She used to have so much trouble telling him that she loved him. She didn't have to say it any more, although she often did. Her eyes told him everything he needed to know. She had once said "you know I love you", and he did know it. He probably did know then, but there was no doubt about knowing it now. Tonight, after gazing into those beautiful green eyes, he smiled at her, took her arm and they walked slowly back to the apartment.