co-written by RatedrKjErIcHo.

John and Holly walked out of the bathroom and Amber rushed to her side. John looked at her. "Take her home and sit with her please?" Amber nodded and John looked at Randy. "We need to talk."

"Okay, what about?" Randy asked.

"What about?" John asked surprised Randy didn't know. "Do you know what you called your sister today? Do you remember what you called her?"

"What are you talking about? I never called my sister anything."

"Think back." John sighed. "In the courtroom, when you went after Alex, you told him that he turned your sister into a whore. Do you know how much it hurt Holly to hear you, of all people, say that?"

"She has to know I didn't mean that."

"You're the one person she never expected to hear that from. The one person she never wanted to let down or disappoint." John sighed. "Randy, she loves you probably more than anyone else. You need to go see her and make this right. If she doesn't have your support or believe you still love her, then I'm worried she won't continue with this. She will just let everything go or worse. She will try to take her life again."

"I'm going to go see her now." He hugged Dena and headed out. He had to make sure she knew he didn't mean it.

Amber pulled up to John's apartment and helped Holly inside. "How about some chamomile tea?"

"Great." Holly replied as she sat down on the sofa. Amber headed into the kitchen and made the tea. She walked into the living room and gave Holly the tea. "You can go. I'm fine."

"I'll wait until John comes home."

"Amber, I'm fine. I promise. I'm going to finish my tea and go take a nap. John will be home before long. I'm okay."

"I'm not leaving. It's not a big deal. I don't have anything to do right now."

"But babysit me right? Your whore of a sister who didn't have the balls to say no or listen to you when it came to Alex."

"I'm not babysitting you and I don't think of you as a whore. You're just my sister. And I love you."

"Right. And Randy doesn't think I'm a whore either. He only blurted it out to everyone within ear shot two courtrooms over. That's how he sees me...how you both see me and that's the last think I wanted."

"Holly that is not how we see you. Randy was reacting in the heat of the moment. I know he didn't mean it."

"Maybe he did. Maybe he was finally letting his true thoughts out." She sighed and took sip of her tea. "Amber, I really just want to be alone right now. It's been a trying day and I just want to go take a nap." Amber sat there for a minute. She didn't really want to leave Holly alone. "I promise I'm not going to do anything stupid. I just want to be alone."

"Alright. Can I use the bathroom before I leave?"

"Sure." Holly said as Amber got up and headed to the bathroom. When she got there, she checked the medicine cabinet and saw nothing Holly could use to hurt herself.

"Okay, I'm leaving. But if you need anything, call me and I will be right over." She hugged Holly. "I love you and you're not a whore by any means." She got up and walked out. She walked down to her car and saw Randy pulling up. She walked over to his car. "I hope you're here to make it up to her."

"I am." He replied as he got out. "You know I didn't mean it right? I would never call her that."

"I think it's more she thinks you think that about her. You don't right?"

"No, I don't."

"Good. Because you're her favorite person and the person she doesn't want to disappoint. That's why she kept the secrets for so long. Why she didn't tell us what Alex was doing to her and making her do. She didn't want you to hate her or be disappointed or think of her as a whore."

"You don't think that guilt has been weighing on me since this whole thing came out? That it hasn't been eating away at me every day." He sighed. "I should have protected her. I didn't see what was going on. I didn't see Alex for what he was. And now she's paying for it."

"But she's getting better. I mean between therapy and now what's going on with John. She's healing. I'm just worried because of today. I don't want this to disrupt things but I have a feeling it did. So you need to go talk to her and make her see."

"I'm going to." Randy hugged her and headed up to the apartment. He took a breath before he knocked on the door.

"Amber, I said I was fine." Holly said when she opened the door. "Randy, what are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you." He said walking in. "I'm sorry about the courthouse. You had to know I didn't mean it. I would never think that or call you that."

She nodded. "It's fine Randy."

"No. I don't want you to use that excusing it away bullshit. I'm sorry. And I need you to believe that I didn't mean it. I would never think anything bad about you Holly. You're my baby sister and I love you."

"I know you do. And I know you didn't mean it. But it still hurt to hear. I never told you or Amber what was going on because I didn't want to be the screw-up who couldn't make things work. I mean Teddy and Amber were happy with their marriage and thinking about kids. You and Dena had just had Jamie when this whole thing started. I couldn't come out and say 'Hey, my husband is beating me on a regular basis and making me having sex with everyone under the sun.' Plus Laurinatis was threatening your job and Ted's and I knew I had to do whatever I could to make sure that you guys weren't affected by my mistakes. I blame myself. I should have listened to Amber and ran away when I had the chance to. If I had, I wouldn't be in this mess now."

He sighed and pulled her into a hug. "This isn't your fault. Alex played on your vulnerablility after mom and dad. The signs were there but I didn't choose to see them. Amber knew. She saw but I was blind to it. I should have known when he asked you to marry him at the commentary before we buried mom and dad. I mean that was a red flag. But I thought he was a good guy. And I just wanted you to be taken care of. I know you were so lost when mom and dad died and then there was Alex offering you everything. I'm to blame for a lot of it. If I had just noticed the signs. I could have saved you all of this."

"Randy, you aren't to blame for this. I just wasn't strong enough to leave him or stop him from doing those things to me. But I'm strong enough now. And the reason for that strength is that now I know I'm not alone. I have people who will love me and support no matter what."

"Yes, you do." He pulled away. "Holly, you are strong. Stronger than we ever gave you credit for. Now, Alex is going away and you can put this behind you and move on."

"I hope so. But I'm worried I won't ever be able to get over it." She said as she sat down.

"You will. You already made progress by being with John." He looked at her and saw her blush a little. "I like him and I know he will be good to you. He would never hurt you or do anything to hurt you. He will take care of you while letting you be your own person. I should have fixed you up with him to begin with."

"Everything happens for a reason they say. I just am not sure what my marriage to Alex happened for. But I'm determined to move on."

"Good."

She stood up. "Now, you should head home to Dena. We have court again tomorrow. I know Laurantitis's trial is starting."

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"I will be fine. John will be home soon. I sent Amber home and now I'm sending you. I'll be fine."

"Alright. But if you need anything."

"I know where you are." She smiled as she opened the door and hugged him. "Now go."

She shut the door after he left. She sighed and headed to the bedroom. All she wanted was a nice, hot bath to help relax the day away. She fixed the bath and got in, letting the heat relax things away. She hoped tomorrow wouldn't be as bad but she wasn't sure. She had a feeling that Laurantitis's trial would be worse.

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