Maybe she didn't want to admit it but this group wasn't so bad. She'd walked in with the pram and immediately someone ran over to help her. Turns out it was one of the 'leaders', Andrea, who turned out to be the woman Grace had spoken about. She explained how everything worked, where she could leave the pushchair and pointed out the refreshments trolley. Clara found herself sat on the floor where most of the parents with young babies seemed to congregate. It was a little separated so as not to be hit by flying toys from the toddlers and had plenty of mats and objects that they could interact with as such a young age.

"He's such a beautiful boy, how old?" one of the other Mums started the conversation.

Clara looked up, "16 weeks, born prem but he's growing really well," she smiled. "I see you're balancing two?"

She nodded, "identical twin girls. Just over 6 months now, but they keep themselves company quite a lot - sometimes wonder why I'm around."

"Until they want feeding," Clara pointed out and they both smiled. "Clara," she introduced herself.

"Jen, good to meet you. It's your first week right?" she asked.

"Yep, my friend kinda forced me to come. I was going crazy in the house all the time, I think she was right - but I'm not going to admit that too quickly, I'll never hear the end of it," Clara explained, glancing back down to make sure Ethan was alright but he seemed very happily distracted by the stars dangling above him. "He's reaching peak grabbing stage now, absolutely loves anything in reach."

Jen nodded knowingly, "Esther loves to grab at things constantly but Lucy just looks at everything, always observing the world around her. She's obsessed with her hands too, constantly looking at them although not actually doing much with them - except occasionally trying to eat them," she gestured to one of the girls who was indeed trying to stuff her hand in her mouth while her sister was grabbing at her arm, almost trying to pull it out again.

It was nice to be talking to another Mum, Clara decided. She wasn't sure how she'd feel, maybe scared of being inadequate, but it was quite fun. "They're very lovely girls. A handful I'm sure."

"Absolutely, very interesting on my own. We're lucky though, he's only working part-time at the moment so I have a second pair of hands most of the time. How about you - someone else at home?" Jen asked.

Clara nodded, distracted for a second by a grizzling Ethan so picking him up for a moment. "Yeah, husband. We both teach so he's gone back now, but trying not to stay late too much. My friends all teach as well so Monday to Friday can be a bit frustrating at times," she explained. "Ethan is being pretty good now though, sleeping through the night a lot. Can't leave you alone though can we chicken?"

Jen smiled at the interaction between Clara and Ethan. "Ah, clingy one?"

"Very. We had a little… incident, a few weeks back with my step-mother and I think it spooked him. Won't be anywhere that Danny or I aren't which makes housework interesting, but we get around it," she kissed his head as he settled and lay him back down with a toy to try and pull apart as a distraction. "After the scary start he had I'm just grateful for every moment."

There was an understanding nod, "when was he born? If you don't mind me asking. It's different when you're not expecting it I'm sure. We knew these two would be early - 36 weeks in the end so they did really well."

Clara couldn't help but let her mind wander back to seeing Ethan in the incubator - so small and fragile. She took a deep breath, "8 weeks. I went into labour 2 days before Christmas - sort of ruined the festive spirit a bit. Everything was a bit touch and go for a while," she spoke quietly. "He made it though, we're here."

"You certainly are. He's a very handsome little boy," Jen smiled. "You did the right thing coming here. It's good to be able to share," she added.

"It is, thanks for listening - I'm not very good at all this," Clara sighed. "Obviously Danny and I talk, but-"

"It's alright, there's something about talking to other mothers that helps. Tell you what, if you keep an eye on these two for a sec I'll go grab teas."

#-#-#-#

It seemed the playgroup tired him out and Ethan napped on and off during the afternoon. When Danny returned from work he found Clara cooking dinner with Ethan in his bed in the living room, in sight of the kitchen door. "He's zonked out, what have you done to him?"

Clara mock laughed at him as he walked in, kissing him quickly. "Been sleeping quite a bit. He was very active at playgroup so probably tired him out. So far this afternoon he's woken up, fed, kicked at things hanging from the mat and gone back to sleep again. Repeat ad infinitum," she smiled. "But it does mean I can actually cook for you today."

"Well I'm looking forward to it," he slipped his jacket off and put his bag down.

Once the dinner was under control Clara turned around, "what's up?" she asked. Danny looked up at her, "you can't fool me Danny Pink. Something's happened - tell me what's up."

Danny sighed, she knew him far too well. "Alright, I had an email from an old friend. Apparently a bunch of the lads are meeting up in a couple of weeks and they want me to join."

"And you aren't sure because you're scared it'll bring back memories," Clara replied, walking over and placing her hands on his chest, "it won't happen again."

The touch of her hands was comforting, but also a reminder of why he was scared. He reached up and gripped her hands softly. "I don't know that."

"I do," she squeezed his hands in return, "it'll remind you of the good times that maybe you've forgotten."

"I can't hurt you again," he replied quietly.

Clara shook her head, "you won't, I promise. Just tell them you'll go - it doesn't have to be for long. I know you want to." Before Danny could reply, Ethan woke up and started crying when he couldn't see either parent. "Go on, he'll tell you exactly the same," she smiled and went back to the dinner.

Without argument, Danny walked over to his son and picked him up carefully. "Hey little one, it's alright we're right here." He quickly settled, snuggling into his father. Danny looked down as he wriggled a little to get comfortable and occasionally made a little squeak. "You're a clever little boy aren't you, so alert. You know I'd never hurt you or your Mum ever, you're the most precious people in my life." There was a small sneeze in his arms which made Danny smile, "you're so beautifully innocent my boy." Ethan snuggled closer, almost as if he knew his Dad needed him. "Good lad," he leant down and kissed his forehead. "Let's have a play shall we? I fancy dangling some animals above your head."

After she'd dished up Clara took the plates out and smiled when she saw Danny interacting with Ethan. "He adores you," she commented. "Shall we try and give him some tummy time while we eat?"

"On your head be it," Danny shrugged, smiling and carefully turning Ethan onto his front. Immediately his face looked a little disgruntled - tummy time was not his favourite thing, but hopefully, he was in a good enough mood to withstand a few minutes today. Once he was settled Danny sat back, taking his plate from Clara who sat down with him. They ate together, watching Ethan staring at the toys that Danny had placed in front of him. "So you gonna go back next week? To the group?"

Finishing the mouthful of food she had, Clara nodded. "Yeah, it's a good escape from these four walls. Plus free tea and biscuits," she shrugged.

Danny chuckled, "well you can't complain at that can you?"

"Definitely not. How was work?" she changed the conversation, having not asked him yet.

He took a moment to reply, "well after lunch I guess I was a bit distracted. Nothing particularly exciting otherwise."

"Liar again. What is with you tonight?" Clara sighed.

"Sorry, I don't know why I bothered even trying not to tell you. Grace thought it would be better if you didn't know, things will probably blow over before you're back anyway," he replied.

Frustrated, Clara put her now finished plate to the side and head in her hands briefly, "just tell me what's going on."

"Henry's been talking to David. Between them they're becoming quite a bitter force," he explained.

"Against me," she nodded. "Why did you and Grace decide I shouldn't be privy to this bit of information?"

"As I said, it'll probably all have blown over when you come back. We didn't think it was worth you worrying about… Grace is dealing with it, I'm sorry we kept quiet," he replied.

Clara nodded, but there was something else to mention. "Why is it bothering you so much today?"

Finally she turned to look at him, assessing his facial expressions while he replied. "I had a bit of a run-in with Henry this afternoon. He just made another dig and I lost it a bit in the staffroom. Don't worry I didn't punch him or anything just gave him a piece of my mind to shut him up."

"Did it work?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, yes-"

"Thank you," she leant in and kissed him. "I mean - maybe don't do it again, but it's nice to know you're still my knight in shining armour. Just please don't feel like you need to lie to me about this all, I'm okay Danny, we're doing okay. We're in this together," Clara took his hand and squeezed it. "Promise me?"

"I promise," he squeezed her hand back and smiled. "I'm sorry, I promise I'll keep you updated for now. In the meantime I think we'd better get Ethan off his tummy before he starts screaming the house down," Danny commented as he noticed his face completely shrivel up. Clara took his plate so he could jump down and pick him up. "Right then kiddo, what do you fancy doing? Aeroplanes?"

Clara chuckled, clearing away the plates while Danny lay on the floor zooming Ethan around in the air. Ethan suddenly started giggling much to his parents' delight. "Clever clever boy!" she gave up on the washing up for a minute and ran in to join with the fun. "You are so, so clever," she lay down on the floor with Danny and started to tickle Ethan's tummy. "You funny little boy, cheeky little monkey."

"Giggle monster," Danny chuckled lay Ethan down on his chest. "Oh what an awesome little family we have."

"Can't complain," Clara smiled. "Moments like this remind me how lucky I am."

"It's weird how things worked out isn't it?" Danny commented as Ethan settled a little on his chest. "How different things could have been…"

"Mmm, I don't want to think about it. All about the future now - this little one is our future. Grace and James have their future too," she smiled and carefully stroked Ethan's cheek. "We're all happy now." Ethan gurgled, "yep. All of us."

Danny smiled, "always together."

"Always."

#-#-#-#

The knocking on the door was suprise enough - it was rare they got unexpected visitors at the moment. What was even more surprising was that it was currently 11pm on a Friday night. Danny was upstairs settling Ethan so Clara went to the door and opened it and was immediately greeted with a crying Grace who rushed inside. She shut the door again and went after her, "what's going on? Grace?" she grabbed her arm to stop her pacing and Grace immediately hugged her friend.

"I've just messed up so badly," she finally spoke after a couple of minutes sobbing into Clara's shoulder. They sat down on the sofa and Clara handed her the mug of tea she'd just made for Danny - he could remake his own later.

"Okay, deep breaths. What happened?" Clara replied while Grace carefully sipped her tea - still shaking a little.

After a couple of breaths she managed to explain. "James proposed tonight," Grace started.

Clara didn't even try to look surprised, now wasn't the time. "Okay, isn't that a good thing?"

"I- yeah, I guess? I just freaked out completely and ran out, I didn't know what to do. It just reminded me of everything that happened and how much I let you down, this whole relationship was born out of a mess and a lie." Grace let tears fall as she explained. "I feel a fraud even coming to you about this, I must sound so selfish."

Intervention was needed now, "Grace just… stop. First of all I'm going to text James and let him know you're safe because he will be panicking. I take it Lizzie is with your Mum?"

"Yeah, sleeping there," she replied quietly.

Once she'd sent a quick text to James telling him to stay away for now Clara looked back to her friend, "good. That's 2 out of 2 dealt with. Now tell me honestly, forgetting everything that happened between us, do you want to marry James?"

There was a short silence before a small nod. "I love him, he's been amazing to me and he's such a good Dad. We have such a great routine now and so often I'll get home to little messages or flowers… I feel so lucky."

"It's been almost 2 years since everything first happened with us, which makes it almost 3 years that you two have been together. The very fact that you've lasted so long despite me finding out and having an unexpected child you're still together," Clara told her. "Besides, James came to see me last week. I knew he was going to propose."

That caught Grace's attention, "you knew?"

Clara nodded, "yeah. I didn't know when but I knew it was coming. I couldn't exactly tell you about it."

"Well yeah I guess," Grace sighed. "What do I do?"

"Go back, explain, say what you really want to say and not what you think you should. And then send me a picture of the ring because I bet it's beautiful. It'll be okay, James will understand," Clara told him. "Finish your tea if you need a minute, but then go."

"You're right… as long as-"

"I'm fine with it!" Clara rolled her eyes. "Finish that, I'll be back in a sec." Clara left her on the sofa and went upstairs to find Danny sat on their bed. "Oh, I thought you were coming back downstairs."

Danny put his book down, "I got half way down and heard what was going on, thought that was a conversation for you."

She smiled, "true. It's nearly finished now - just need…" she searched in the drawer by her bed. "Aha! This. 2 minutes and you'll be free to come downstairs." Clara went back down to Grace.

"Where did you go?" Grace asked, putting her now empty mug down on the table.

Clara showed her the box, "this - Grace - is the first birthday present you ever bought me after you started at the school. It's sat in the drawer by my bed everyday since, even when I moved here it's still there. I never once removed it, even when we fell out. This has always been the symbol of our friendship and how important you are to me. Take it with you as a reminder that we are and always will be best friends."

Grace took the box which contained a small charm she'd bought her all those years ago. "I can't believe you still have it. I never saw you wear it-"

"So you assumed I'd chucked it? No way. We started that job together and it's the best thing that ever happened to me, so go and be happy before he gets bored and goes to bed," she grinned and practically pushed her up and towards the front door. "I await your message."

"Thank you, don't know what I'd do without you Clara," Grace smiled and ran back to her car.

When she returned to the living room she found Danny sat on the sofa, arm out ready for her to slip into. Clara did so, resting her head on his shoulder and lifting her legs up - grabbing the TV remote as she did and flicking it on. "I'm thinking 20 minutes?"

"Mm, give them a few minutes getting used to it, maybe 30," Danny replied and chuckled. "You're an amazing friend, this can't be easy for you."

Clara shrugged, not really replying to that. Sure it was weird, it would always be weird, but she loved her best friend and if she was honest, she wanted James to be happy too. She already had her happy ending, she was lying with it right now. It was time to move on and let them have their moment together. "We're moving on, all of us - properly this time. They'll get married, I'll be there. Our kids will be friends, there's so much to have in the future without focussing on the past."

Kissing the top of her head gently, Danny smiled. How she could be so strong he would never understand, but he did know he would always support her, whatever she decided. As long as Clara was okay that was all that mattered. "You are so brilliant," he commented and they sat together in silence, TV on but neither of them truly paying attention.

It was, as Clara expected, 20 minutes later that her phone went and she opened the message to show the photo of Grace, James and most importantly - the ring. There were tears in both their eyes, and Clara could also just spot the box she'd given Grace in her other hand too. She quickly realised they weren't the only one with tears and went to wipe them away but Danny got there before her.

He carefully rubbed the tears away, "happy tears?" Danny asked and she nodded. "I'm so proud of you, you're amazing."

"Don't know about that. Come on, let's get to bed - busy day tomorrow and it's been a slightly draining night. Plus I want to snuggle."

#-#-#-#

4am Sunday morning and Clara climbed back into bed for the third time that night curling back close to Danny for warmth. Ethan was restless and she couldn't work out why, he'd been so good at sleeping recently. "Mm you okay? You need to let me get up next time."

Clara thought she'd got away with it, "sorry you were still asleep I didn't want to wake you," she kissed him gently. "I don't know what's got into him tonight, but I'm knackered."

"Then sleep, and let me go next time. No excuses about working, it's Sunday," he grinned and kissed her head. "Sleep, I love you."

"Love you."

Danny did get up the next time, but when Ethan woke up at 8 she knew this was her turn as he needed feeding and there was no more expressed milk for him. Clara sighed, she had probably managed about 4 hours sleep over the night and was really not in the mood. Eventually, she climbed out of bed and went over to the cot, "come on then you, we'll go downstairs," she picked him up and carried him down where they sat down on the sofa and she let him feed. Normally Clara would chat or sing as he fed but she couldn't find the energy right now. Danny came down about 10 minutes into the silence and looked confused.

He walked over to her, "everything okay?"

"Yeah he's just hungry, standard feed time at the moment anyway," she replied.

"I wasn't asking about Ethan," he sat down. "You don't look yourself."

Without looking up, Clara was quick to reply. "I've had next to no sleep and I've only just got up so just give me time." She kept watching Ethan but he was nearly done.

Danny didn't reply to her now, waiting for Ethan to finish feeding. He stood up again and went to the kitchen to make tea, taking the mugs back in and putting hers down on the table beside her. Ethan finished feeding and Clara carefully lay him down on the sensory mat before sitting back. "Is it safe to talk yet?"

"I'm sorry, got out the wrong side of the bed," she sighed and put her hands round the mug of tea.

"I can guarantee you didn't - I would have felt that," he winked and Clara did smile slightly. "That's better. Can I make you breakfast?"

"Only if it involves bacon and eggs," she replied.

Danny nodded. "Deal. I'll keep an eye on Ethan too if you want to freshen up or anything?"

"That would be amazing. Thank you, see you soon," she stood up and went back upstairs.

For some reason, despite planning to go in the shower she ended up simply sat on the bed and staring out the window. The peace of the room and the moment alone just gave her some sense of stillness that she hadn't felt in weeks. She pulled her knees up to her chest and just watched as the rain fell outside.

When she hadn't returned 20 minutes later Danny started to wonder. She knew breakfast wouldn't be long, and there were no sounds suggesting movement upstairs. Maybe she'd fallen asleep, it wouldn't surprise him. He was just about to nip upstairs when Ethan woke up from the nap he'd been taking. "That didn't last long," Danny turned around and went over to him. "What you crying for now little man? You're not very happy are you?" Danny had checked his temperature overnight but decided to do it again - still fine. "Bad day hm? Come on sweetheart, settle down now. Do we need Mummy to sing? Let's go see where she's got to."

They went upstairs. Ethan was grizzling still and Danny tried to bounce him a little in his arms. He pushed open their bedroom door and saw Clara sat there, staring out of the window. She hadn't changed or showered, something just didn't seem right. This would be better dealt with without a baby in his arms but there was little choice. "Clara?" No response. He walked over, "talk to me."

"Please, just take him away, I need some peace," she spoke without looking up.

Danny looked at her, concerned about her behaviour. "Clara what-"

"Just please leave the room," Clara interrupted him.

He wasn't going to argue, not with Ethan in his arms. First, he needed to get his son to sleep, then he could try and get to the bottom of Clara's mood swings. "Maybe try and get some sleep love, I'll take him out for some fresh air. Call me if you need me?"

With that comment, she did move and lay down on the bed and curling up. Shuffling Ethan carefully into one arm he grabbed the blanket with his now free hand and lay it over her before leaving the room and going to sort out Ethan to go for a walk. He made another decision and grabbed his day bag. He had to hope this plan would work.